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My care giver says hello and how are you when she comes in and good bye when she leaves. She is attentive when my wife gets out of her chair and walks around the apartment, like she doesn't want her to get into mischief. The caregiver made an effort to help with a shower today.
This is good, but shouldn't there be some attempt at a conversation? We know what a conversation looks like, we just want a conversation. We have friends who come in and they talk to my wife. They don't expect to actually get many, if any coherent statements. They consider it a blessing when my wife has a lucid moment. That does not keep the ladies from talking. That seems like the only way to establish a bond of trust.

What specifically did you hire a Caregiver for?

To watch your wife for wandering or falling?
To make sure your wife eats and drinks?
Make sure she gets regular shower?
Help with toileting?
Help with dressing?

Are you there the entire time the Caregiver is, or do you use the spare time to go get groceries, banking, etc.?

There are several professional Caregivers here who could give better answers.
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Reply to Dawn88
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It's up to you to make it clear to the caregiver just exactly what your expectations are with your wife, so time to open your mouth and tell her.
I would also suggest having the caregiver play some of your wife's favorite music and sing along with her, as music is powerful with folks that have any of the dementias, and most even those that are non-verbal will sing every word to the songs, as music comes from a different part of the brain than what the dementia has damaged.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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MG8522 1 hour ago
That's a great point. Or even if she can't sing, she may move along with the music, or hum, or tap hands or feet. Guest musicians are very popular in memory care because nearly all the residents engage in some way.
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Kindly let the caregiver know what you’d like her to do, that’s it’s good for your wife to encourage conversation and activity. I’m glad your friends are continuing to visit. We found my mom’s friends dropped rapidly when she couldn’t communicate well anymore. Give the caregiver ideas and prompts will hopefully help
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Have you explained to the caregiver that this is what you want? Maybe she assumes you want quiet so that you can focus on whatever you're doing. You could give her some conversation starters, like giving her a photo album to show your wife and talk with her about the pictures, or a magazine or book your wife liked, or a cookbook if she enjoyed doing that.
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Reply to MG8522
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