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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I agree with all the answers below. I just want to add that my husband with dementia likes to do things to aggravate me, to get a rise out of me, for his own amusement. I find myself telling him sometimes, "that's not as funny for me as you think it is". But, of course, it's no use trying to reason with someone with dementia. They can, however, respond to conditioning. Such as Not giving attention to unwanted behaviors, but praising and rewarding good behaviors.
Remove all her regular undies and replace the with incontinence ones. They have cute ones for women.
You can also buy "anti-strip" clothing on Amazon that she can't remove easy by herself. Is she removing her clothes because of the hot weather? Or does she think it is "cute" or funny?
Problem is she may just strip and go outside after dark to wander. It sounds like you may need to put her in a facility for her own safety. Ask her Doctor what needs to be done.
I'm from the school that you don't "Ask" dementia patients anything, you TELL them. Otherwise they will always say NO. Use an assertive tone of voice: "Dinner is ready" instead of "What do you want for dinner?" "Time to get dressed" instead of "When are you going to get dressed?" "Time for your bath" instead of "When do you want to take a bath?" "Time to get dressed" instead of "Can't you let me get your clothes back on?"
Buy her some Alzheimer's anti strip clothing on Amazon along with Depends. Give her a choice. She either wears this clothing and the disposable briefs every day or she moves into a nursing home because you cannot and will not live like this for one more day.
There are anti-strip garments that dementia sufferers can’t get off on their own. But granted, you have to get them into it first.
My mom used to bargain with my dad when he was at that stage. She would say “no movie unless you keep the depends on.” It sometimes worked but not always. I agree with Funkygrandma.
Your wife's care may now be to the point where it's just too much for you, and you may have to start looking into having her placed in a memory care where she will receive the 24/7 care she now requires and you can get back to just being her loving husband instead of the man who's fighting with her to get her underwear back on. And on a side note she probably shouldn't be wearing underwear anymore, but more than likely Depends so you don't have to worry about her having accidents. Just throw all of her old undies away and replace them with Depends. and call them her "new" underwear. Although you may have already done that since you've called her underwear "protective." You can try just telling her it's time to put them on instead of asking and see if that may help also.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I just want to add that my husband with dementia likes to do things to aggravate me, to get a rise out of me, for his own amusement. I find myself telling him sometimes, "that's not as funny for me as you think it is". But, of course, it's no use trying to reason with someone with dementia.
They can, however, respond to conditioning. Such as Not giving attention to unwanted behaviors, but praising and rewarding good behaviors.
You can also buy "anti-strip" clothing on Amazon that she can't remove easy by herself. Is she removing her clothes because of the hot weather? Or does she think it is "cute" or funny?
Problem is she may just strip and go outside after dark to wander. It sounds like you may need to put her in a facility for her own safety. Ask her Doctor what needs to be done.
I'm from the school that you don't "Ask" dementia patients anything, you TELL them. Otherwise they will always say NO. Use an assertive tone of voice:
"Dinner is ready" instead of "What do you want for dinner?"
"Time to get dressed" instead of "When are you going to get dressed?"
"Time for your bath" instead of "When do you want to take a bath?"
"Time to get dressed" instead of "Can't you let me get your clothes back on?"
Worth a shot.
Best of luck to you.
My mom used to bargain with my dad when he was at that stage. She would say “no movie unless you keep the depends on.” It sometimes worked but not always. I agree with Funkygrandma.
And on a side note she probably shouldn't be wearing underwear anymore, but more than likely Depends so you don't have to worry about her having accidents.
Just throw all of her old undies away and replace them with Depends. and call them her "new" underwear. Although you may have already done that since you've called her underwear "protective."
You can try just telling her it's time to put them on instead of asking and see if that may help also.