My mother is one of the most miserable humans on Earth, and has been for years. Whenever anyone has asked her "How are you doing?", for as far back in my memory as I can reach, I can never remember her saying "I'm fine". Now she's smoked herself to death. She has COPD, CHF, steroid-induced diabetes, a colostomy, osteoporosis, bone spurs in her neck, neuropathy in her limbs, brittle skin that tears at the drop of a hat...the list seems endless. She refuses to get out of bed to try to exercise to keep up any strength, and wants me to do more and more and more for her.
She's in the hospital right now because of a fall last week. She says her knees gave out.
I don't think it's so horrible that I just want this woman to finally have some peace, and yes, honestly, for the rest of us around her to have some as well. The discord and disharmony this narcissist spreads with her always ALWAYS negative attitude takes a toll. She will never change, and her health will only continue to go downhill.
I realize that I don't get to make the decision of when she goes, but I will admit that I do want her to. I think it's the only way she'll finally be "fine".
Prioritize your life, most especially bonding with your new grandchild.
I did the best I could to try to help him through his end of life stage but as terrible as this sounds, I am unable to devote any more time to him. I had hoped he would have been already gone by now. My life has changed so much in just a few months since my husband's stroke and heart problems and my daughter now needing help because her husband left.
I have learned just how miserable life can be.
It's normal. It doesn't mean you're going to murder them.
However we are only human.
Thanks a Lot for this question.
You can always leave the murdering to someone else because I can assure you madly lots of people are quite interested in for their own claims and reasons to make that person suffer.
It is hard to see a man, so intelligent and capable, having had a long career managing complex and expensive projects, decline to the point that he cannot navigate an iPhone or tv remote.
He knows enough to know that he doesn’t want to live like this. He’s in the mid-stages of the disease. But short term memory and executive function continue to decline. He has always been a negative “glass half empty “ kind of person. Nothing I can do improves his life or makes him happy. It’s been like that our entire marriage. He is miserable. I won’t allow myself to be miserable. But yes, a peaceful passing into the afterlife would be a blessing, for him and for me and his daughters.
You are so out of touch. Medicare does not pay for in-home care. Medicaid provides some but on a limited basis. Lots of luck getting anyone decent who works for a Medicaid agency. That was my experience.
After many years of putting someone else first, there are a lot of us who wish that part of our lives to finally resolve. Refrain from judging others. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way.
the family said she was aways kicking off - them waiting for ww3 to arrive. She caught brain tumour that couldn’t be operated on and that increased her poor behaviour to her family
she was given a couple months to live and by the end of those couple months the family were relieved for her to go
It’s understandable when anyone’s. Coping with poor behaviour
That said - wouldn’t it be nice if your mother could go into some form of care and release you to only visit her - the dynamics of the relationship could get positive ?
don’t feel bad about thinking tvat- you are and have been coping fur a while but feel the emotion and then let it go - the more power u attach to it the worse the symptoms ( stress-anger etc) will be
speak to her dr - speak to charities find out your options
and stop agreeing everything asked of you