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Comming from a daughter in law of husbands mom in a nursing home from a motor skill partial stroke, still smarter than a whip of the ripe age of just 86 yrs and feel your peace you are yarning. I just recently feel the same I wish god will allow her to go in peace. I think it is called wanting our lifes back. I feel for your, alot of good advice, self care is very important. Especially a spouses loved one, how do the other significant spouses deal with their spouses mother or father in a nursing home constantly wanting them to visit and who is me attitude. IT is so, so disturbing, it causes alot of turbulance with my spouse and I with his mother in the nursing home 4 hrs away. I am so tired of sharing my husband. I cant go through this for another 10 yrs the people are living longer. How do spouses do this? Every one is divorced or single it sounds, but self care and all are very important. It is never ending, especially around the holidays she is so demanding and claims no visitors in her life, she manipulates my husband and his sister, they cripe they are done allowing her to run their lifes, but nothing changes, they told her she needs to move closer to them if they will visit her every bloodly holiday and her when her friends dont visit. IT makes me sick. I am constantly feeling like i am and have been competing with her, so wearing on ones marriage, not to mention just found out we are going to be first time grandparents with our son, I am so, so afraid she will horn in on my grandchild time. She has endured 4 generation's and it is never good enough for her. I am so tired of her complaining when she is alone at very seldom times, she has never been able to do well on her own in her younger yrs I guess? Get a grip i think! Any advise is greatly appreciated
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Hothouseflower Apr 5, 2026
Your MIL is in a nursing home. She is being cared for. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

Prioritize your life, most especially bonding with your new grandchild.
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My father is on hospice in a nursing home. I live 3,000 miles away. I have tried to be there for my father but now I can no longer visit regularly.

I did the best I could to try to help him through his end of life stage but as terrible as this sounds, I am unable to devote any more time to him. I had hoped he would have been already gone by now. My life has changed so much in just a few months since my husband's stroke and heart problems and my daughter now needing help because her husband left.

I have learned just how miserable life can be.
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Oedgar23 Apr 16, 2026
I am sorry to see you are having such struggles.
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No.

It's normal. It doesn't mean you're going to murder them.

However we are only human.

Thanks a Lot for this question.

You can always leave the murdering to someone else because I can assure you madly lots of people are quite interested in for their own claims and reasons to make that person suffer.
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lealonnie1 Apr 9, 2026
What????
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I am still pretty new to this forum…But I read this and just read it to my husband and he said, “wow, that could have been you writing that about your mother.” I feel this post so much it is scary, but not a bad scary. It is literally that relatable to me. I needed to see this post today, thank you for sharing this question. You’re not alone wanting peace for everyone. Hugs!
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I’ve often wished that my husband could have had a fatal heart attack instead of vascular dementia and Parkinson’s. Not that I wanted any of these things for him but if he had to have one, a heart attack would be better than the misery we are suffering now.
It is hard to see a man, so intelligent and capable, having had a long career managing complex and expensive projects, decline to the point that he cannot navigate an iPhone or tv remote.
He knows enough to know that he doesn’t want to live like this. He’s in the mid-stages of the disease. But short term memory and executive function continue to decline. He has always been a negative “glass half empty “ kind of person. Nothing I can do improves his life or makes him happy. It’s been like that our entire marriage. He is miserable. I won’t allow myself to be miserable. But yes, a peaceful passing into the afterlife would be a blessing, for him and for me and his daughters.
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I wish my father wasn't dying in slow motion. His mind is gone but his body just keeps going. What is the point?
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anikaa May 6, 2026
I know how you feel. My father is also dying in slow motion. He has mind but his body has stopped. He can't see, hear, feed himself, raise himself, go to the bathroom, etc. He is totally helpless in body but he keeps saying if he can just eat enough (although he has no appetite), he will be back to normal in a short while. At this point I don't know which is worse... having a mind with a body that doesn't function or having a body with a mind that doesn't function. Either way it's a really hard thing to witness.
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Hospice doesn't ALWAYS mean 3-6 months to live. You can get hospice help for dementia. My sister and I did some research and my mother with dementia is currently on hospice. There are different levels of hospice care and dementia is included. Not sure where you are located but check Gentiva Hospice.
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I understand how you feel. I am feeling the same way for both me and my husband. I am seeking an assisted living where I could stay as a healthy spouse, but to tell you the truth, I wish this part of my life would resolve.
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Would you want someone to wish that for you. Reaping and sowing is real. If she's on medicare or medicaid get her home health care, a skilled nurse and physical therapy. It's all free. They will cook, clean, wash clothes, wash dishes, take her for a walk, talk kind to her, bathe her, and help her with toileting, and clothe her. Just do it. They can help her and you can rest
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Hothouseflower May 6, 2026
I don't know how much caregiving you do, but that's how it is on this site. It gets raw because it is anonymous and there is no place else to voice how you actually feel.

You are so out of touch. Medicare does not pay for in-home care. Medicaid provides some but on a limited basis. Lots of luck getting anyone decent who works for a Medicaid agency. That was my experience.

After many years of putting someone else first, there are a lot of us who wish that part of our lives to finally resolve. Refrain from judging others. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way.
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A school friend had a sister who had with the family ( not friends) a temper that went from zero to one million in about 3 seconds!
the family said she was aways kicking off - them waiting for ww3 to arrive. She caught brain tumour that couldn’t be operated on and that increased her poor behaviour to her family
she was given a couple months to live and by the end of those couple months the family were relieved for her to go
It’s understandable when anyone’s. Coping with poor behaviour
That said - wouldn’t it be nice if your mother could go into some form of care and release you to only visit her - the dynamics of the relationship could get positive ?
don’t feel bad about thinking tvat- you are and have been coping fur a while but feel the emotion and then let it go - the more power u attach to it the worse the symptoms ( stress-anger etc) will be
speak to her dr - speak to charities find out your options
and stop agreeing everything asked of you
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All of these stories are exactly why my husband and I (80 and 75, respectively) desperately want to find a source of legal fentanyl to have on hand BEFORE we find ourselves warehoused in a nursing home. Going peacefully asleep in one's own bed is a far better alternative than years of being a financial and emotional burden to ourselves and our loved ones.
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Hothouseflower May 16, 2026
Me too! Fentanyl is a better alternative to throwing oneself out a window.
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I'm in the boat of taking the great care of my mom in the context of pallative but hoping she dies soon. I seen her condition as suffering. Wishing for something is normal as long as you don't act on it. Knowing she's closer to the end I've begun splurging on her. I upgraded her medical care to a concierge geriatric doctor .I want her comfortable but I do pray for a sooner death over a longer term death. That's not bad , its caring.
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Yesterday mom’s doctor at her skilled nursing facility assured me she believes mom has many, many years left to live with vascular dementia, moving to the memory care ward if necessary. She wouldn’t consider mom end stage until she forgets how to eat and drink and becomes minimally verbal. She was trying to be reassuring, but that’s actually a very dark picture for me, and not the life mom wants. For both of our sakes, I am hoping her body fails before she gets to that stage. I would love for her to go out peacefully before she needs memory care. As it is, she needs maximum support for ADLs, is incontinent, has pain that is difficult to manage, and struggling to use a basic big button remote. She’s had two falls in six weeks. I feel like I’ve optimized her care as much as possible and we’re both exhausted.
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