Follow
Share
Read More
Comming from a daughter in law of husbands mom in a nursing home from a motor skill partial stroke, still smarter than a whip of the ripe age of just 86 yrs and feel your peace you are yarning. I just recently feel the same I wish god will allow her to go in peace. I think it is called wanting our lifes back. I feel for your, alot of good advice, self care is very important. Especially a spouses loved one, how do the other significant spouses deal with their spouses mother or father in a nursing home constantly wanting them to visit and who is me attitude. IT is so, so disturbing, it causes alot of turbulance with my spouse and I with his mother in the nursing home 4 hrs away. I am so tired of sharing my husband. I cant go through this for another 10 yrs the people are living longer. How do spouses do this? Every one is divorced or single it sounds, but self care and all are very important. It is never ending, especially around the holidays she is so demanding and claims no visitors in her life, she manipulates my husband and his sister, they cripe they are done allowing her to run their lifes, but nothing changes, they told her she needs to move closer to them if they will visit her every bloodly holiday and her when her friends dont visit. IT makes me sick. I am constantly feeling like i am and have been competing with her, so wearing on ones marriage, not to mention just found out we are going to be first time grandparents with our son, I am so, so afraid she will horn in on my grandchild time. She has endured 4 generation's and it is never good enough for her. I am so tired of her complaining when she is alone at very seldom times, she has never been able to do well on her own in her younger yrs I guess? Get a grip i think! Any advise is greatly appreciated
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Calister1
Report
Hothouseflower 1 hour ago
Your MIL is in a nursing home. She is being cared for. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

Prioritize your life, most especially bonding with your new grandchild.
(1)
Report
My father is on hospice in a nursing home. I live 3,000 miles away. I have tried to be there for my father but now I can no longer visit regularly.

I did the best I could to try to help him through his end of life stage but as terrible as this sounds, I am unable to devote any more time to him. I had hoped he would have been already gone by now. My life has changed so much in just a few months since my husband's stroke and heart problems and my daughter now needing help because her husband left.

I have learned just how miserable life can be.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Hothouseflower
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter