My father died in May from congestive heart failure. I was his caregiver and worked with Hospice in his passing, but it has haunted me. I had to give him morphine when I wanted to nourish him back to health. Two weeks after his death, I moved my 86 year old Mom into my home as she is wheel chair bound, and can do nothing for herself. I have lived next door to my parents for 38 years and helped them all thru the years gladly. When Mom moved in with us, it's like a light switch was flipped. I love my Mom dearly and have been devoted to her all my life. After a few months, I am so frustrated and bitter. I take very good care of her, but just do not understand these feelings of resentment and anger. I have no help. I have two sisters who live out of state but they do nothing. Adding to this is my little granddaughter has been sick a lot, and I cannot be with her as she is two hours away; and I have no help or money to hire a sitter. I haven't had time to grieve my Dad, nor can I help with my granddaughter's chronic illness. Is this why I suddenly resent my Mom? I just don't understand. It scares me that I can feel this way towards someone I have always cherished.
I like Blannie's answer. I know how you feel. Nobody wants to go to the hospital unless it's to visit someone who had a baby! I think we have all felt torn when you know you need to get up there to see her, yet you also know there is no way to make it into a short trip! Sometimes even when you really love them it's hard! I feel for you dear.