I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
The problem with stupidity is that it doesn’t always recognize itself.
The most common cause of stress nowadays is
daily contact with idiots.
I try to make things idiot-proof. But they keep making better idiots.
Turns out I will tell an entire fully detailed story.
I hate those people who knock on your door and say you need to get "saved" or else you will "burn".
Stupid firemen.
It's OK if you don't like me.
Not everyone has good taste.
even the neighbours brush their teeth and get dressed.
I can only be nice to one person
a day.
Today is not your day.
and I need the remote.
I joined a dating site, for people my age…called carbon dating.
I took a quiz on the internet, “What’s your spirit animal?”
I got: extinct.
The good thing about dating a woman my age…is that I don’t need to worry about meeting her parents.
Don’t hate Monday.
Make Monday hate you.
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
Live each day like it's your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.
You need a cell phone? Get one.
A computer/chromebook? Get one.
Don't be cheap about it.
It may no longer be acceptable or sustainable to sacrifice so much to caregive for
the person needing care, but they HAVE everything they need.
I-Phone
5 Computers
12 remotes
20 earbuds
It is okay to take care of business.
E v e r y t h i n g d o e s n o t h a v e t o b e e q u a l,
but one person should not be suffering going without.
I am the equalizer bunny today.
I had a busy week. I finally got GPS. I got the cheapest one they had. Just a woman’s voice telling me to pull over and ask for directions.
This woman walked up to her husband and said, “Darling, I had a dream about my birthday. And in the dream, I dreamt about earrings, a bracelet and a necklace. What do you think that means?”
And he said, “Just wait till your birthday!!”
Then on her birthday, he gave her a package. She opened it and it was a book: “How to Interpret Dreams”.
Men are only good for one thing. And how important IS parallel parking anyway?
stand-up comedian (man):
Everybody’s like, “Yeah…of course planes are crashing!…Yeah, well, because the pilots are all FEMALE, that’s why…Female pilots…Females can’t fly planes.”
stand-up comedian (man):
I don’t want to get into that narrative. I don’t think that it’s that women can’t fly. I think it’s that they can’t land.
I’ve been having trouble sleeping, so I bought this tape of ocean waves…to help me fall asleep.
Just as I’m nodding off, I could hear…
“Hhhhelp!”
"oh dear, I am so embarrassed, I just passed silent gas, what should I do?"
Her husband says, "That's not all, you need to change your hearing aid batteries too."
Monday hates you too.
Coffee: Because Monday happened.
Happy Monday!…Or rather, pre-pre-pre-pre-Friday!
A mystical land where 99% of all human
activity, motivation and achievement is stored.
What can go right today??
1) Wanting stuff
2) Getting stuff
3) Getting rid of stuff.
Remembered because we are re-doing our wills!