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🙂🙂🙂
I’ve never really felt comfortable in my comfort zone.
(2)
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Man, hopelessly in love:
I jjjust thought, maybe I could tttake you out.

Woman, clueless:
Take me out of what? My comfort zone?
(1)
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🙂😉
I didn’t say it was your fault.
I said I was going to blame you!!!
(3)
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🙂🙂🙂
The ocean gets its saltiness from the tears of misunderstood sharks who just want to cuddle.
(2)
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🙂🙂🙂
I have selective hearing. I’m sorry, you weren’t selected today.
(6)
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🙂🙂🙂
You’re not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
(4)
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😉🤒
Not all patients are annoying, some are unconscious.
(2)
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🙂🙂🙂
The last thing I want to do is hurt you,
but it’s still on the list.
(5)
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🙂🙂🙂
I’m not bossy.
I simply make suggestions without options.
(3)
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80% of arguments start
because someone hasn’t eaten yet.
(5)
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I don’t like being asked “Are you at home?”

Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.
🙂
(3)
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🙂🙂🙂
For legal reasons
everything I post is a joke.
(2)
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You know what??
I’m just gonna say it.
Sharks just aren’t
eating enough people.
(4)
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🙂
My bank statement
is basically a food diary.
(4)
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🙂
I wonder how fed up someone had to be
to make deodorant.
(3)
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🙂🌈🌸
My grocery list:

1. Don’t run into anyone you know

2. Eggs
(3)
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@Bundle, that one about "which level of hell is this" certainly resonates. I just got finished saying that Dante missed a whole lot of circles of hell in his writings. There are in fact many more than he described!
Know I come here to get a smile from your postings to us! And I thank you.
(3)
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🙂🙂🙂🌈🌈🌈🌸🌸🌸
If you’re lucky enough to find a weirdo
never let them go.
(3)
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Excuse me,
which level of h*ll is this?
(6)
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🙂
Next week
has been exhausting.
(2)
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🙂
I’m often mistaken for an adult
because of my age.
(5)
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🙂
I’m not stupid.
And sometimes I think
that’s part of the problem.
(5)
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Awwww…She’s smiling in her sleep.
I wonder how she killed me this time.
(4)
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I sat quietly with my own thoughts today.
Remind me to never, ever do that again.
(5)
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🙂
When I get to work, I first hide.
Because a good worker is hard to find.
(5)
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🙂
97% of my poor decisions
are food related.
(3)
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🙂
I can already tell it’s going to be another one of those mornings where I’m not rich & famous.
(4)
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🤯🤯🤯
Today was going great, until
people.
(4)
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😉
A wolf is struck with a curse: every full moon it turns into a human for one night.
(3)
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It turns out that Earth
is actually an insane asylum for the universe.
(2)
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