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Unusual funeral procession:

An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian woman walking a dog on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the Italian woman walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
''What happened to him?"
"He yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
The Italian woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
A very poignant and touching moment of Italian sisterhood and silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"

The woman replied, "Get in line."
(15)
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A son and daughter bring their wheelchair bound father in to check out a new nursing home. While on the tour the father begins to lean severely to the left. Everyone rushes over to right him. Further along on the tour he leans severely to the right. Again, they rush over the right him. After the tour they go out to lunch and his children ask how he liked the nursing home. He replied, "It's ok, but they don't let you fart."
(5)
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There is a highly dangerous virus going around called Weekly Overload Recreation Killer (WORK)
If you come in contact with this WORK virus you should immediately got to the nearest Biological Anxiety Relief facility (BAR) where you will be supplied with one of the antidotes:
Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE)
Radioactive Unwork Medicine (RUM)
Bothersome Employer Eliminator Reboot (BEER)
or Vaccine Official Depression Killing Antigen (VODKA)
(9)
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Try this site. They are pictures, so I can't post them. Even my husband laughed out loud!
https://quotesnhumor.com/22-hilarious-jokes-collection/
(2)
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Dear Goodbird, your post makes me feel ashamed of myself. Many of us got fed up with this thread a few months ago when it was dominated by a genuine carer who unfortunately was also an unpleasant troll. Perhaps we all need to get a library joke book and start posting again. I even found a treasure trove of ‘lightbulb’ jokes on the net, without having to go to the library. Just looking for jokes has to be good for the soul if you are feeling down.
(5)
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Hello,
I just want to say that humor and laughter make a world of difference for me going along this caregiving journey. Without it, the situation would feel absolutely hopeless and miserable all the time. Of course there are bad days that are not easy, but having a good laugh gets me through and makes me feel better. Find something funny to watch to put you in a better mood! The power of humor and laughter is amazing!
(9)
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Love it Margaret!
We have a Chihuahua + Dachshund which = a Chiweenie~
(3)
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For designer dog lovers:

Labrador + Poodle = Labradoodle
Yorkshire Terrier + Poodle = Yorkie Poo
Dachshund + Yorkshire Terrier = Dorkie

Labradoodle + Yorkie Poo = Mongrel
Yorkie Poo + Dorkie = Mongrel
Dorkie + Labradoodle = Mongrel

Dachshund + Great Dane = Extremely Difficult
(8)
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NHWM: That's exactly why I don't think on those cockroaches!
(1)
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Isn’t it gross to think about cockroaches? They are estimated to be about 200 million years old! They. were here before us and will certainly outlive us!
(1)
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Houseplant, I am cracking up. I can't tell you how many times I was corrected when in Florida. Nope, not buying it for a minute those giant beasts are flying cockroaches. Freakiest thing I have ever encountered.
(2)
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Palmetto Bugs: "A euphemism coined by tourism boosters in Florida to make the state's flying cockroaches sound less repellent"
(5)
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef
(8)
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What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

Decaffeinated
(6)
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Do you remember when the air in gas stations was free?
And now it costs $1.75. Do you know why?

INFLATION.
(14)
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I've been diagnosed with a fear of giants,
......
feefiphobia.
(14)
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Aged Mango
(1)
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Toe Jam
(1)
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Booti Fruiti
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Doo-Doo Muckle~
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I just discovered a company called The Stinky Candle Co.
Based on there scent choices, it’s obvious nobody at the company has ever been a caregiver. I would gladly take ‘sour pickles’ over ‘potty chair parfait’ any day. What are some of your Stinky Candle scent suggestions?

xoxoxo
susan
(6)
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A three-legged dog goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want to find the man who shot my paw.
(11)
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NHWM,
Thanks for your comment, I think.
I like the history, old songs, old movies until I watch them. lol.

I of course, looked all that up last night. Ended up laughing to Johnny Carson with guest Robin Williams. The game shows were a riot, there were so many that I had forgotten even existed.
(3)
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Speakin' the words of wisdom Frazzled.
(2)
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I told Bill Withers 'Ain't No Sunshine' is poor grammar. He said, "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know...."
(7)
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Send,

Remember Richard Dawson on The Match Game? So cute! He was a good player.

Years later, he hosted Feud and kissed all the women UNTIL he kissed one that he found chemistry with and he married her. After his marriage he stopped kissing the ladies! Hahaha, he went overboard with the kissing business but hey, he found a wife!
(7)
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Must have scrolled right on by 'Family Feud' in the last 30 years, even though I have seen it when channel surfing, I have never watched it.
I am starting to worry about how isolated I have been, living here the past 15 years, with no T.V. but Roku.

That's okay though, I get the feeling Family Feud goes much like the forum 'family' of caregivers lately. We will all be okay! There is always u-tube!

Richard Dawson!
"Name something that dries up once it's old."
Bread???
(2)
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This lady got a text saying, I am here for you.
She says, thanks so much, i really needed to hear that. By the way, i lost my contacts. Who are you?
The other person says, I am your Uber driver, I'm outside.
(9)
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I like the one that says

Children left unattended will be
given chocolate and an Espresso
and promised a Puppy
(15)
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Several times yearly I take large items to the less crowded of nearby laundry/cleaners.

At the 1st facility, adults pass the time on iphones, watching games, Dr. Phil, or soap operas on TV, or trying to contain young children. Pretty much adult shows. This facility lets life go on, unrestrained and unrehearsed.

1st facility has rules - no smoking, hoodies, proper attire, running, screaming etc. but does not follow through.

The more conservative of the 2 facilities has tried to make it more kid-friendly. A few toys, children's magazines, and just kiddie shows on TV.

This second facility has also posted on the wall and below the TV screen:

CHILDREN LEFT UNATTENDED WILL BE SOLD TO THE CIRCUS
(9)
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