I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Russian citizen during the days of the USSR: "We pretend to work and they pretend to pay us."
The blonde went to spend some days at her friends house. Showering the first day, she asked for some shampoo.
"It's there, the yellow bottle."
"No, I need another one."
"Why?"
"It's written 'for dry hair' and mine is already wet."
Jean Colbert, Minister of Finances in France, said “The art of taxation is to pluck the goose to get the most feathers with the least hissing”.
From Mark Twain: “Dear reader, suppose you are an idiot; then suppose you are a member of Congress: but I repeat myself...”.
A quote from Calvin Coolidge (put together a la Singing in the Rain): “Nothing I never said ever harmed me”.
Which is closer, New York or the moon?
Blonde 2 says ‘duh.. you can see the moon!’.
Two canibals hunting in a wood.
They only manage to catch one man between them.
Man gets boiled up in the pot and they agree to share him.
First one started at the foot and when he got to the ankle he said to the other one,
"How you doing?"
Second one said,
"I'm having a ball"
First one said, "You're eating too fast!"
I guess she is not feline well?
She is now decalfinated!
there so stupid.
Pessimist: the glass is half empty
Mother: how many times I need to tell you to use a coaster??
"It's there, the yellow bottle."
"No, I need another one."
"Why?"
"It's written 'for dry hair' and mine is already wet."
*crickets chirp*
Sheesh, tough croud
"Auto-correct has become my worst enema."
"Simply because you're near me...
"Funny, but..."
Say, you DO have a funny butt!
"That sounds like a fair trade".
It's the law.
A quote from Woody Allen: The lion and the lamb shall lie down together. But the lamb won't sleep for long.
A quote from a novelist I’ve never heard of: “There are times when parenthood seems to be feeding the mouth that bites you”.
In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
LEAN BEEF.!