I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
The old man lived on for another six years until he died for the second time.
After the funeral as his sons where once again carrying the coffin out of the chapel three voices rang out in unison, "Mind the steps, Charlie!"
The attendant patiently asks what type of dildo she wants because they come in many different sizes and colors.
I want that red one exclaims the old lady, rather breathlessly.
!What" exclaimed the surprised shop assistant "that is a fire extinguisher"
and the old lady replied "Yes, exactly!"
Unfortunately, in my case, it's brake fluid ;)
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An elderly woman, well into her eighties, slowly entered the front door of a 'Sex Shop'. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbled the few feet across to the counter.
Finally grabbing the counter for support, and s-tut-ter- ing, she asked the sales clerk, "Dooo youuuu have dilllldooos?"
The clerk, (trying hard not to laugh), politely replied, "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models. . ."
The old woman then asked: "Doooo youuuu carry aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk ... aaand rrunns on bbaatteries?"
Trying not to laugh, and with a little smile creeping around his mouth, the clerk responded, "Yes, yes we do."
She stammered, "Dddooo yyoouu kknnnooww hhhoww ttooo ttturrrnn iittt offff?"
Next time someone adds me, It will say "you are now friends with Benefits."
www.stumpedtowndementia.com/blog-1/terms-of-indifference
“She’s a liar and a cheat! She said she was the whole night at her sister’s!”
“So? Maybe she was.”
“Yeah, no way. I was the whole night at her sister’s!”
They get a better grip on their brooms!
my bad :)
I saw it through my telescope last night.
"If you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be?"
He replied, "Russia."
If I am from Poland, people will call me a pole. Does that mean if I'm from Holland they will call me a hole?😁
He keeps standing by the window, staring.
If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in.
“Have you seen me rob this bank?”
“Yes, sir,” says the customer and gets promptly shot.
“Have you seen me rob this bank?” the robber asks another customer.
“Absolutely not, sir, but my wife here saw everything!”
"Aye Matey."
Thought it was time for a silly one. :)
A: A 1980’s hairdresser!
This is my time to shine.
Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic.
The doctor looks in the old man's ear. "It looks like a suppository," he says.
"Well," says the old man, "now I know what happened to my hearing aid."
Have another sweet little old lady holler: BINGO!
Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
It would clap nicely if you ran down the stairs.
Ok, now stop imagining it. lol
It rook me a while to realise it was just a Fanta Sea.
My husband and I joke like that, so it tickled me to see others find that humor humorous.
We have new friends wonder if we are going to start scrapping when we joke, old ones play along and get involved.
Laughter dooth good like medicine.
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note saying,
"I've had enough and left you, don't bother coming after me." She then hid under the bed to watch his reaction.
After a short while the husband came home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he came into the bedroom.She watched him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.
After a few minutes he wrote something on it before he picked up the phone and called someone. "She's finally gone ... Yeah, I know, about bloody time. I'm coming to pick you up. Put on the sexy french stuff. I love you."
He hung up, grabbed his car keys and left.
She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed, seething with rage. With tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he'd written:
"I can see your feet. Stop being retarded. We're outta bread, throw the kettle on. Back in 5 minutes."