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🙂🙂
Body type:

Clearly not one to turn down a taco.
(2)
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🙂🙂
Too much of a good thing
can be wonderful.
(2)
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Respect people who wear glasses.

They paid money to see you.
(2)
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Let go of the things that are holding you back from a better life.




Like your stupid dreams.
(1)
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No matter how bad things get



With your luck they will probably get worse pretty soon.
(2)
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🙂🙂
Remember when you thought this year was going to be BETTER than last year? 

LOL
(2)
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This “killing them with kindness” is taking way longer than I expected.
(4)
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Stop worrying if things will work out.





They won’t.
(2)
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Hi,
Sorry it took me 5 days to get back to your text. I myself am understaffed at the moment.
(3)
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Apart from “life is short”
what other lines do you use before making bad decisions?
(2)
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I have terrible ideas
if you need any.
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🙂
I’ve never had a problem
that I couldn’t make worse.
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🙂

Sometimes my mind wanders off to a happy place where I’m allowed to punch people in the throat, and there are cute puppies and free cake.
(3)
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I will not kill my co-workers.
I will not kill my co-workers.
I will not...
OK. Maybe just one.
(3)
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🙂 so true...

Can't decide if I want to be cute & cuddly
or go blow something up.

Decisions...decisions...
(2)
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🙂
My 6-month trial of 2025 is almost over,
and I would like to return it.
(3)
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🥰🙂
I am too insane to explain
and you are too normal to understand.
(2)
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😉
When does season 2 of 2025 start?
I do not like season 1.
(2)
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🥰🙂
"You can't talk butterfly language
with caterpillar people."
(1)
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🙂🌈
How to tell you're an adult:
--you gain 30 lbs overnight
--you'd rather sleep than go out
--comfort comes before style
--you have a favorite spatula
(4)
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People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like I want abs, but I need donuts.
(2)
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🥰🙂🌈
What the world really needs…
is more love and less paper work.
(2)
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i just want abs… olutely all the bacon.
🙂🙂
(2)
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🙂🙂🍜🍜🥰🥰
You make miso happy.
(2)
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🌸⭐️
The dentist had strong fillings for his wife.
(3)
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🌸⭐️
What do you call a melon that's not allowed to get married? Can't elope.
(4)
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🌸⭐️
What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newly-webs.
(3)
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🌸⭐️
My wife and I often exchange opinions. I come with my own and leave with hers.
(3)
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🙂⭐️
Well, what can I tell you about the groom? I've known him for about ten years, he's handsome, intelligent, witty, charismatic... sorry, wrong wedding.
(2)
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AND last marriage joke for today:

🌸⭐️
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
(2)
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