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After 10 years of caring for my mother with now severe dementia IN MY HOME and no end in sight, my prayers are that if God isn't going to take her for christsake TAKE ME.

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"I am one of twelve children and only one to step up and take care of our 87 year old mother who has had dementia for 18 years. she has lived in my home for nearly 9 years and has now severe dementia. I quit working two years ago to care for her by myself as a single women."

12 kids? How did you become the "lucky" one to become your mother's fulltime caregiving slave and have to give up your job?

Is your mother paying you to take care of her? Is she paying for expenses in your home (to include rent)? If not, then why on earth not?
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Move her into a facility. If you died that's where she would end up anyway.
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Maybe it is time to pace her in a facility.
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Unfortunately that is exactly what will happen if you don’t get her out of your home. You don’t owe her your life, and you don’t owe her your death. Even if she was the most devoted mother on God’s green earth, even if she gave you a kidney and met robbers at the door with a hatchet thereby saving your precious Mickey Mantle baseball card, you owe her nothing at this point. So find a care place for her, make no excuses and send her there. Puleeze.
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