Hi, I'm new here. I'm in my twenties, and do not have the best relationship with my mother. Entire family is dysfunctional and as they say, everyone has their own problems. I have a family of my own and plenty of troubles, no money and bad credit as my mother opened credit accounts without my knowledge and never paid the bills. Her credit is also ruined. She has been married to her husband (my step dad) for 15 years. She is 50, most likely bi-polar and badly overweight with horrible thyroid levels and a weak heart. May have heart failure soon. She has been caring for her husband who is disabled and retired for 7 years alone. Adult diapers, feeding, assisting with EVERYTHING alone without any help. He has Parkinson's and many strokes and cannot walk.
Recently he was admitted to hospital and she was also for fluid and heart problems- and he is just getting sicker. During this week his daughter from prior marriage took a power of attorney on her father (whom she has not seen or called in 6 years despite living 2 miles away). . She used her power of attorney to shut off house utilities, open a new bank account in his name , change his pension check to go to that new account, and has tried breaking into the house and successfully stolen electronics and jewelry from the home along with paperwork , insurance mortgage, banks info ect.
My mother returned from hospital to the house is complete dis array, no husband or knowledge of his whereabouts, no utilities and no money in the bank. She was told that her husband did all of this but soon discovered his adult daughter had done this.
Is this legal? They are married- she has been supported from his money / pension entire marriage (except a few yrs) as she cared for him 100percent especially last several years. she has no other source of income. Also, the hospital said they can't tell her where her husband was transferred to. she can't see her husband and can't find out where he is.
I don't know how to help, we don't have great relations but someone has to help out to ensure he is receiving proper care and to ensure my mother is cared for as well. Please help - I'm raising a family in another state and am out of work so there's no hidden money to immediately assist :(
Thank you and god bless everyone here. I hope to establish a support group and for my mom as well. She has given up her life to care for her husband without help and now is suffering his daughters vengeance .... His daughter is in her late 30's.
And the state is Georgia if that matters. Thanks.
Whatever the case, she needs legal to speak and write on her behalf to his family
and within the court system.
Was you mom DPOA, MPOA, etc before this? Does she have this paperwork? Or was it the case that his daughter did this on her own as the first time he "did" a DPOA? If he was hospitalized at the time of the stepdaughther's DPOA then your mom should go to court to have the DPOA viewed as a coerced document (as he was not competent at the time due to hospitalization) and ask that he be made an emergency and temporary ward of the state of Georgia. StepDaug will have to comply with this and it puts you both on an even basis to go to court. But Your mom as his legal spouse would kinda be the first in line to become his guardian as long as she seems to be able to do that. But you kinda - imho - need to do a realistic look at whether your mom can be and do for him as guardian (with her health care problems) or perhaps let the state take over and he become a ward of the state. The advantage of having him become a ward of the state is that as his legal spouse, the state will have to place funds for your mom to provide for her from your dad's SS or retirement and as his spouse she will have input as to his care and be allowed to visit and be with him if he's in a facility. Which stepdaug. is not doing right now, correct?
Whatever the case, you can help your mom by talking with her and doing a detailed time line of what what for them the past 5 years. So that this establishes that your mom was a concerned caregiver and spouse and that stepdaug has done stuff that could critically harm your mom.You need to get all this down in writing so that she looks together, sane and competent. Realize stepdaug will want to portray your mom as a crazy, fat, moocher and could very well have convinced herself and others in your dad's family that is the case. You can help your mom by listening to her and writing down what she says and doing a journal for her of all that has happened (do this on your computer so you can change and send via email to the attorney)
If stepdaug applies for Medicaid for NH for him, your mom would have to be a part of the application as she legally would be the "community spouse" for the Medicaid application. She would have to sign off on the application, so if stepdaug has done this without her signature that is illegal and something you can hold over her head in court along with all the other things. Good luck and find the attorney and start her journal and keep a sense of humor if you can.