My Mom assumed making me her DPOA would automatically obligate me as her future caregiver!
I only agreed to being DPOA for both health and finances after thoroughly reading the lawyers draft copies first. Nothing is mentioned about assuming responsibilities as her personal caregiver. This is an intelligent 82 yr woman, who has no dementia thinking that this legal document was also a contract for me to take her into my home when she can no longer live independently. She also read the document. How she came to the conclusion it was also a caregiver contact is so frustrating. I agree that adult children who are caregivers to their parents should have the DPOA, but it is not a requirement as a DPOA. Thank goodness my sister is the contingent to me. She will do good by our mother if I decide the assumtions and responsibilities are not for me.
Acting as a person's financial POA means you protect a vulnerable person from financial abuse. Scenario 1: garage door salesman cons confused elderly lady into parting with thousands of dollars for something she doesn't need; vs. Scenario 2: same salesman has to go through elderly lady's POA and gets told where to go. Or, Scenario 1: vulnerable elderly man gets confused about his electricity bills, repeatedly sends payment to the wrong address and gets his supply cut off; vs Scenario 2: POA ensures all utility bills are paid on time, and that the vulnerable elderly man is getting as good a deal from the utilities companies as possible.
It is a valuable and important role to take on, as part of caring for your elderly or otherwise incapacitated relative. You make sure their bills get paid (with their money); you make sure no one can trick, deceive, bamboozle or sob-story them into giving away their money; you make sure their care needs are planned for financially; if they have sizeable investments, you make sure they're properly managed and duly accounted for. You should also be making sure that their tax affairs are taken care of; that they're receiving any financial support from the government or from charitable or welfare sources that they're entitled to; the list goes on.
It can be time-consuming; it is certainly a responsible job; and the person with POA must expect to have to answer for every single penny of the protected person's money. It is just as wrong for the POA to hoard the cared-for person's money, to the detriment of that person's standard of living, as it would be for the POA to waste money on foolish or careless spending. And if a POA diverts the person's money to anything that is not directly for the person's benefit, such as the POA's buying himself a nice new jacuzzi? That's really simple - it's embezzlement, theft, fraud - whichever category it falls into, it's a criminal offence.
What you do have to do is ensure to the best of your ability that her resources are used to pay for her care, welfare, standard of living, comfort and medical attention - that her money and assets are managed "in her best interest." It's not a professional duty of care, though; but you are expected to do your level best as a lay person, an amateur; and since you may be required to explain your decisions it's worth making sure you really have thought things through and sought proper advice where necessary, simply for your own peace of mind.
So, if you take on DPOA for your mother you are doing a substantial amount of work on her behalf, and and that is in itself a means of demonstrating your concern for her. In no way does it oblige you so much as to tuck a napkin under her chin or make her a cup of coffee; and if your mother thinks otherwise then I'm sorry, but she just isn't paying attention.
In reply to this above,
The POA is not a contract to be a caregiver.There is many issues that will arrise that you will find soon enough from accepting the DPOA.The main question you need to ask your self is,do you plan to do the duties of a DPOA Free of charge?
Because,POAs are not allowed to charger for services.POA is a FREE SERVICE.
It sounds like you don't want to be a caregiver for your relative.That's a good idea.
I say that's a good idea because,
Since you became your relative's DPOA.If you decide to become your relative's caregiver later on.You must be your relative's Caregiver for FREE also.POAs are not allowed to charge for services unless it's noted in the POA.
I don't understand why you agreed to be her DPOA but,refuse to be her caregiver?Humm,are you just after her assets and careless about her care humm.
This brings wonders to the table!
Regardless of HER plans, you and sister should have your own plan and explore what options you can agree on that will be good for mom. Consider moms finances and what care actually costs so you are prepared. I've had tremendous learning curve this year but feel I'm better educated and prepared as best I can be. My brother and I will not be primary caregivers.