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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I am not asking a ? But telling everyone that will listen, get affairs in order because even the most caring parent gets ugly when the time comes for nursing home care. Power of attorney and selling property should be done well in advance.
And even if you get things in order... I have said before, my mom took out a LTC police 20 years ago. She faithfully paid the premiums. But I think her primary thinking had been to have it in case she ever developed AZ or suffered from a paralyzing stroke; she never considered other illnesses might necessitate placement. In the end, I was able to keep her at home through her CHF until she passed; but if she had survived much longer, I probably would have had to seriously consider placing her, because she was falling multiple times a day; and the lack of oxygen was wreaking havoc with her cognitive thinking and her memory. Toward the end, however, if the topic came up about her living situation needing change, she made it a point to say "I have to self-pay the first 3 months!!!" in an outraged voice. So I don't know how much of a fight it would have been if it had come to placing her; fortunately, I never was forced to have to have that battle.
While it is definitely a great idea to have all your caregiving ducks in a row to make nursing home placement easier, be prepared that it still might be a battle.
Your mom sounds like my mom. She handled the finances, not my dad and let me tell you, she could account for every penny!
It’s just like you said, they don’t want to pay a dime more for anything than they have to.
My parents lived through the depression. They didn’t believe in being frivolous with money. Their motto was, “Save for a rainy day.”
Yet, oddly enough they gave to my brothers and it crippled them. I wish that mom would have told them no so they wouldn’t have been so careless with their money.
I never asked them for money. I always felt that I should pay my own way.
Planning is always good. Ask specific questions if they don’t tell you.
Sometimes our parents surprise us. My mom never wanted to be cremated. No one before her was cremated. My grandparents and father are in the family plot.
My brother wanted to be cremated. I followed his wishes and made the arrangements for him.
My mom saw how much cheaper it was and said that she wanted to be cremated. I would have never guessed that in a million years.
So, I wholeheartedly agree with you about having necessary discussions beforehand.
It takes the stress and pressure off of everyone.
There are many things to discuss and it’s best to talk about these things before they are needed.
Ah, NHWM, I'm sorry I didn't put things better - my mom was a careful saver, but she didn't have the money issues that many of her peers who went through the depression had. She was a generous soul; she lived well, but not frivolously, if you know what I mean; she wasn't afraid to spend money on things she needed, and if we were in a tight pinch with things, she lent money to us without hesitation.
I think I was trying to say that she used the excuse of having to self-pay as her own justification for not pursuing the idea that she might have come to the point where she would need more help than we could safely give her at home.
It's just something else to keep in mind when you make decisions about caregiving, that the best laid plans don't always work out the way you expect them to.
So sorry, my mistake. I misunderstood. My mom was extremely frugal, like my grandmother.
Mom had a hard time letting go of money. I wish that she would have spent more on herself.
It always puzzles me to think about how she freely she gave money to my brothers. I think she felt that she was helping them. It actually did the opposite. It kept them from maturing.
I believe in helping others to get over a bump in the road but this was not that. It was them taking advantage of her.
I hear you 100% My father recently passed. As I had been speaking with him the last couple years making sure things were in order. He assured me they were, UNTIL the last 6 months. We are suspecting a nurse aide financially exploited him. We found several withdrawals in the last 4 months of his life and the other nurse aide told our family that the particular nurse aide often boasted of "gifts" my father gave her. My father had told me he listed my aunt as beneficiary on his bank accounts. Come to find out, he had removed her 6 months prior and left no one as a beneficiary, so now we have to go to probate.
I am learning a lesson the hard way, but I am currently making better final plans for myself, mother and brother.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I have said before, my mom took out a LTC police 20 years ago. She faithfully paid the premiums. But I think her primary thinking had been to have it in case she ever developed AZ or suffered from a paralyzing stroke; she never considered other illnesses might necessitate placement. In the end, I was able to keep her at home through her CHF until she passed; but if she had survived much longer, I probably would have had to seriously consider placing her, because she was falling multiple times a day; and the lack of oxygen was wreaking havoc with her cognitive thinking and her memory. Toward the end, however, if the topic came up about her living situation needing change, she made it a point to say "I have to self-pay the first 3 months!!!" in an outraged voice. So I don't know how much of a fight it would have been if it had come to placing her; fortunately, I never was forced to have to have that battle.
While it is definitely a great idea to have all your caregiving ducks in a row to make nursing home placement easier, be prepared that it still might be a battle.
Your mom sounds like my mom. She handled the finances, not my dad and let me tell you, she could account for every penny!
It’s just like you said, they don’t want to pay a dime more for anything than they have to.
My parents lived through the depression. They didn’t believe in being frivolous with money. Their motto was, “Save for a rainy day.”
Yet, oddly enough they gave to my brothers and it crippled them. I wish that mom would have told them no so they wouldn’t have been so careless with their money.
I never asked them for money. I always felt that I should pay my own way.
Planning is always good. Ask specific questions if they don’t tell you.
Sometimes our parents surprise us. My mom never wanted to be cremated. No one before her was cremated. My grandparents and father are in the family plot.
My brother wanted to be cremated. I followed his wishes and made the arrangements for him.
My mom saw how much cheaper it was and said that she wanted to be cremated. I would have never guessed that in a million years.
So, I wholeheartedly agree with you about having necessary discussions beforehand.
It takes the stress and pressure off of everyone.
There are many things to discuss and it’s best to talk about these things before they are needed.
I think I was trying to say that she used the excuse of having to self-pay as her own justification for not pursuing the idea that she might have come to the point where she would need more help than we could safely give her at home.
It's just something else to keep in mind when you make decisions about caregiving, that the best laid plans don't always work out the way you expect them to.
So sorry, my mistake. I misunderstood. My mom was extremely frugal, like my grandmother.
Mom had a hard time letting go of money. I wish that she would have spent more on herself.
It always puzzles me to think about how she freely she gave money to my brothers. I think she felt that she was helping them. It actually did the opposite. It kept them from maturing.
I believe in helping others to get over a bump in the road but this was not that. It was them taking advantage of her.
We are suspecting a nurse aide financially exploited him. We found several withdrawals in the last 4 months of his life and the other nurse aide told our family that the particular nurse aide often boasted of "gifts" my father gave her.
My father had told me he listed my aunt as beneficiary on his bank accounts. Come to find out, he had removed her 6 months prior and left no one as a beneficiary, so now we have to go to probate.
I am learning a lesson the hard way, but I am currently making better final plans for myself, mother and brother.