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My dad passed in February 2024 and my husband passed in September 2024. This is the second Christmas without them and it is harder than the first. For those who know my story, you know that my husband's passing was actually a relief, and I realize now that I spent the first six months or so after he died dealing with the emotional baggage from those hard years. This year, better memories of years with my husband have been more frequent than they were before, and along with that comes the tears.

I know grief looks different for everyone. Missing both of them has hit me differently this year, I wasn't prepared to be so tearful.

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I was texting with my niece who lost her DH in July of 24. I said I know you must be really missing DH. She said that yes, she was missing him more this year than last. She said she was so numb last year.

I lost my DH aunt in Jan of this year. I’m going through all the firsts and finding the season very flat for me. My DH loves the holidays so much as did aunt. I try not to put a damper on things but it is a slog.

Graygrammie I’m glad your happier memories with your DH are returning even though they do cause some sadness as well.

Wishing you all the best. 🌲💕
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Hugs.

I'm another second year person. The first year seemed to be about busyness.
Now I think about Mom every day.

Hugs.
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"Tears are God's gift to us. Our holy water. They heal us as they flow.”
― Rita Schiano

Sending you a big hug and a prayer for peace, dear Grammie.
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I think, yes, our grief can blindside us. We think that we are or we should be over it, but something comes back, or things hit in a different way. It does sound as though you are progressing. I think sometimes that first year starts with months of shock, then there is the phone work and the legal work and the wrangling with everything which takes up so many months of time we can't really relax. Then we relax and boom, get blindsided with thoughts and feelings.

I think you are really level-headed and in a good place mentally, grammie. That's always been my impression of you on the Forum. So I think you are going to be OK. But do know that you can get a few sessions with a good cognitive therapist with some good coverage now that the DSM-5 has a diagnosis code of "complicated grieving" (meaning more than a year). So do that if you think you could be helped with a few sessions with a good level head to help you walk through some of it. I am wishing you good holidays, but remember, they can put a burden on us in grief, as well.
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Graygrammie, I'm right here with you on this one. I lost my brother in 2024. He was my favorite sibling. This holiday has been rough. It is just my daughter, grandson and me for the holidays now. I lost my husband in 2016. So, I know about the second year. I'm having a hard time right now even though it's been nine years as of December 1, 2025. For me, losing loved ones is hard especially ones that brought us so much happiness while they were here.

That's all I have to say for now.

I'm wishing us all peace and calmer days in the new year to come.
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Graygrammie, may you receive peace in your heart as you move through your grief.
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