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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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omg I am so disgusted. At least I caught it before I put it in my mouth. I think that this was the first time because it was set in a different place by the sink and had gray hairs pokin out all over.
So sick of being disgusted. I love her but oh man.
Bobbie I get grossed out watching my mom eat. I know I shouldn't say this but I really do. I just came from there brought her some home made spaghetti, (I make great spaghetti) and she always gets more on her wrap than she does in her mouth. It grosses me out because then she picks up the food from her bib and eats it.
I know I know it's wrong but it bothers me terribly.
But the toothbrush thing wow!!!!!!
I'm sure there will be more gross stories to follow!
At least she didn't use your toothbrush like one of the other people I read about earlier. It was like 'mining for nuggets', if you know what I mean. Now that's GROSS! :)
My mom is relatively easy to care for compared to a lot of people on this site, but the bathroom holds special facination. Especially the poopy part.
I get you about the eating thing too. If mom doesn't finish everything on her plate, she'll try to give it to you after she stabs it all over with her fingers. You're thinkin ok, I'm just going to go with, 'no thanks mom, I'm stuffed.' No spagetti here, mom will chase it around the plate so we always use macaroni that stays in the spoon!
I try hard to not feel guilt when I'm grossed out, but it's hard to be blase when your mom shows you a brace of brownies stuffed into the brand new pjs you just bought. And proud!
I turn the tv up loud so I don't have to hear mom chew. And try to avoid looking at her... makes me feel guilty.. but after constantly asking her to chew with her mouth closed and getting no where..i've given up! and her clothes are so stained from "playing" with her food, that i don't even try to stop her anymore. some things, i don't even argue with anymore. the fight isn't worth it.
Speaking of eating.. I just caught mom feeding her cat butter.. *sigh*
My husband and I never eat out of the same bowl that my mom does. Like with popcorn for example. Never know what's on those fingers of hers... Or that eye stuff that she gets. Makes me want to yak just thinking about it. I have other examples too. I won't get into them here. Pamela, it's not wrong to be grossed out. It's natural. Don't be so hard on yourself, dear. :)
I must be tired because im sitting here laughing.. wanted to share a random thought I had about this with you all since it seems the right "crowd"
If you notice, on the homepage, midway, right side is a "Top 5 Caregiver Concerns"............. maybe they should add "New uses for toothbrushes, spoons and clothing art"..
Yes i'm off to bed now, but i always stay up and unwind after i've gotten mom to bed finally!
KelleyBean, Yes, me too. I always stay up and unwind after my mom goes to bed. Most days that's my favorite part of the day. I feel terrible saying that but it is.
Early morning before mom gets up and late night after she's tucked in is the only time I have. I feel terrible with guilt also and have been trying to recall the great mom things that happened when I was little when she is grossing me out to the point of puking. Sometimes it works but most of the time I'm just worn out and obsessing over getting all of this work finished before she kills me.
Thanks you guys for some of the stories....here's hoping for more because they mean a lot to me and the other 'grossees' too.
How's this....it's not a gross out thing but today when I took my mom her Valentines Day token, she pulled her top lip up and BAMB!!!! there was a tooth missing!. WHAT THE ............I asked her when did that happen, she said yesterday eating crackers. Thing is it is on the stroke affected side, and I wonder if she even knew when she lost it.
One of the many hidden costs of caregiving to an older person who may be confused. It's the little things we always have to pay attention to. I am attentive to as much as I can. When in doubt, I simply throw something out and get another one, including toothbrushes. I think it is one of those things that may be overlooked by some care workers with dire health consequences to older adults who are chronically ill. It is so easy for sick elders to pick up infections if someone is not actively watching over them. Of course, God help us to watch over ourselves as well, as this post proves. We're all vulnerable if we're not alert and prompt with caregiving intervention. Hope that is the worst that will ever happen, bobbie. Sorry you are having to deal with that. Blessings.
pamela..i DO feel bad about that with my mom.. her teeth crack so easily.. and she has no dental.. I really try to avoid looking at that.. but since shes so self conscious about it, i try to make it so she feels most comfortable HERE to smile and laugh without having to hide her teeth like she does on the outside.
Well I hope I don't offend anyone but as soon as I got in my car I cracked up about the tooth missing. I hope I don't offend anyone, it was just so funny to me and I need so desperately to laugh.
Bobbie if we were in the same place when the folks saw us coming they would close down!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha cause we would bring the house down.
I said in another thread that we should all plan a Hawaii trip and we could all tell stories and laugh while our cell phones rang off the hooks!!!!!!!!!
Pamela, I want a boat. That's where we could have our imaginary party! When I get really crazy I go online and look at boats. here's one I think is beautiful. pop this into your browser and tell me what you think. (please no disparaging words about boats, I've heard them all and this is all I have to dream on)
Now keep in mind I don't have any money to buy a boat. Maybe a canoe, but I look at the boats and dream about being a 'sea captain' and taking people on boat trips. These days all I do is take mom to the bathroom and put her on the pot, clean her up and take her back to her chair. This happens about 2x an hour in addition to all of the other insanity that goes with this particular territory. So when I can't clean one more thing, except moms a**, I sit here and talk to you guys or dream about boats. Keeps me off the streets. thank you caregiverslight for your kind words. naheaton, miz10, pamela, kellybean, you guys are the best and thanks for sharing your gross out stories. What do you guys dream about?
Bobbie, I dream about the Greek Islands... cool breeze..calm clear water... a great big drink in my hand... not a care in the world! I can't even hear my cell phone ringing in desperation.. Because I've buried it..
Pamela, I think you mean nightmare don't you? I know I wish I could have woken up from some of the nightmares I've had here!
Miz, your story reminds me of Lucille Ball, when she was telling how her fillings were giving off radio signals in her head!
Nice kellyBean. I'll come by in my boat and we'll go for a boat ride. We'll go below where the staterooms are and wake up Pamela and she will be smiling a big smile. I'll be wearing a big hat so I don't burn my dome.
Bobbie I love your yacht. That's what we'll rent when we go to Hawaii. We'll be served exotic drinks by the chippendale men, dine on whatever Wolfgang Puck decides to whip up for us, and protected by the FBI so that no one can get to us about our parents.
We'll check all worries, frustrations, and guilt at the door, and we'll have spa treatments for "HAIR GROWTH". We'll swim in the beautiful blue ocean, and most of all we will LAUGH!!!!
KelleyBean, the Greek Islands sound sooooooo wonderful!! Bobbie, I love the boat idea too!! Just get me to the tropics!! That's funny, KelleyBean, about Lucille Ball because when Mom was young and herself, she used to remind me of her. :)
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
So sick of being disgusted. I love her but oh man.
Bobbie
I know I know it's wrong but it bothers me terribly.
But the toothbrush thing wow!!!!!!
I'm sure there will be more gross stories to follow!
umm naheaton... i caught my mom with a spoon... needless to say.. i got a whole new tableware set...
My mom is relatively easy to care for compared to a lot of people on this site, but the bathroom holds special facination.
Especially the poopy part.
I get you about the eating thing too. If mom doesn't finish everything on her plate, she'll try to give it to you after she stabs it all over with her fingers.
You're thinkin ok, I'm just going to go with, 'no thanks mom, I'm stuffed.'
No spagetti here, mom will chase it around the plate so we always use macaroni that stays in the spoon!
I try hard to not feel guilt when I'm grossed out, but it's hard to be blase when your mom shows you a brace of brownies stuffed into the brand new pjs you just bought. And proud!
eeeeeek.
I'm fine. really.
lovbob
Speaking of eating.. I just caught mom feeding her cat butter.. *sigh*
Gosh it's good we all have one another!!!
Butter............lawd hav mercy!
If you notice, on the homepage, midway, right side is a "Top 5 Caregiver Concerns"............. maybe they should add "New uses for toothbrushes, spoons and clothing art"..
Yes i'm off to bed now, but i always stay up and unwind after i've gotten mom to bed finally!
Early morning before mom gets up and late night after she's tucked in is the only time I have.
I feel terrible with guilt also and have been trying to recall the great mom things that happened when I was little when she is grossing me out to the point of puking. Sometimes it works but most of the time I'm just worn out and obsessing over getting all of this work finished before she kills me.
Thanks you guys for some of the stories....here's hoping for more because they mean a lot to me and the other 'grossees' too.
lovbob
I said in another thread that we should all plan a Hawaii trip and we could all tell stories and laugh while our cell phones rang off the hooks!!!!!!!!!
Now keep in mind I don't have any money to buy a boat. Maybe a canoe, but I look at the boats and dream about being a 'sea captain' and taking people on boat trips.
These days all I do is take mom to the bathroom and put her on the pot, clean her up and take her back to her chair. This happens about 2x an hour in addition to all of the other insanity that goes with this particular territory.
So when I can't clean one more thing, except moms a**, I sit here and talk to you guys or dream about boats.
Keeps me off the streets.
thank you caregiverslight for your kind words. naheaton, miz10, pamela, kellybean, you guys are the best and thanks for sharing your gross out stories.
What do you guys dream about?
lovbob
I dream about the Greek Islands... cool breeze..calm clear water... a great big drink in my hand... not a care in the world! I can't even hear my cell phone ringing in desperation.. Because I've buried it..
Pamela, I think you mean nightmare don't you? I know I wish I could have woken up from some of the nightmares I've had here!
Miz, your story reminds me of Lucille Ball, when she was telling how her fillings were giving off radio signals in her head!
I'll be wearing a big hat so I don't burn my dome.
lovbob
Bobbie I love your yacht. That's what we'll rent when we go to Hawaii. We'll be served exotic drinks by the chippendale men, dine on whatever Wolfgang Puck decides to whip up for us, and protected by the FBI so that no one can get to us about our parents.
We'll check all worries, frustrations, and guilt at the door, and we'll have spa treatments for "HAIR GROWTH". We'll swim in the beautiful blue ocean, and most of all we will LAUGH!!!!
my husband teases me about me looking at 'boat porn'.
Can't help it. Some boats make me go 'woof'!
lovbob