Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Bobbie321, Remember your Mom fed and changed you as a child and I am sure that wasn't easy for her and maybe she was Grossed out too many times. Buy a new toothbrush, it's NOT that serious. So the roles reverse in life and now as the adult child you now need to step in and care for your Mom. Have some Compassion.

KellyBean Ever thought that your Mom chews with her mouth open because she has breathing issues? Instead of turning up the tv., why not take the time to sit and help her regain the proper eating habits. Feeding her cat butter, perhaps there is a little what we used to call (senility) going on. Get Mom checked. If you don't want to work with your Mom, who took care of you then I would suggest you find a place that will.

Mizunderstood10, Try helping Mom wash her hands every now and then instead of complaining. WASH her face and clean her eyes, since she can't do it herself properly. Get her adaptable utinsils, cups and bowls designed for people who can't quite hold things like they used to, make it fund and maybe put her Initial on it, so she feels Special.

I know these comments are coming later, but this is my first time reading them.

Be Blessed.

At this time mom doesn't want to get out of bed. I am going to have someone pick up those Depends that are like diapers so I can just change her in bed. Getting her up to pee is just too risky. Last night-thank God hubby was here-she nearly ended up on the floor. Maybe we are turning a corner in her care-I don't know. But I feel things are def changing! She is loopy from the pain meds and seeing people in her room. She is not scared or anything. She keeps asking me "who is that"? or "did you talk to him"? I just go along with it or tell her I missed him.... then I started saying that they are the angels looking over her. She liked that. Still no word from the Dr office! I called yesterday and her Dr was off but they said they would have someone call me. I just hope there is nothing else going on that we could be taking care of! I am a bit down about all this. But, I have no choice but to go with what comes! Hot here again today. Hubby's out of town friend may pop in so I have the need to clean and spiffy things up. Probably a good idea anyway. Just so tired. Gonna call the Dr office agin. Ttfn. Mame

mame=maybe you could use a wheelchair then till she stand n walks again...idk,,,just stand her long enough to pivot into wheelchair to move her around. Ya I will be looking into a hoyerlift too this time, I don't know for sure anything yet! ma Is also 5'3" 105lbs tho tiny lil thing. still ruff on back mostly all the bending to change and exersize her in the bed and I do have to scoop her up sometimes to get her centered on pads, etc... she cant always lift her butt to get it right! I did figure out in carpeted hotel to just get on my knees rather than bend. gonna pick up a gardening kneeling foam pad thingy. really helps a lot to kneel! Crazy these things figure out along the way!

crunch crunch crack crack....then hide the frame...

And she is 5ft 3 and 160lbs...

Thanks Juju! I can do that as far as getting her sitting...but standing-we have to hold her up. She will put little to no weight on her legs let alone take any steps! I think I need a hoya lift! And with that comes problems too... thank you tho! Mame

Glad you had something to take your aggression out on Jen! Breaking glass can be so satisfying!

Mame- our home health has us getting her up by rolling on side first and then use the upper arm n below elbow to push up, while swinging legs forward to floor into sitting position. then stand right in front of her. have her hands on your shoulders and your hands around under and hold at shoulder blades and raise her up to a stand. then we just put her in wheelchair...if she can walk then (maybe just have her walk with you going backward with her hands on your shoulders, this is my guess with walking as we do not let her walk anymore as to not fall again she is so brittle!)
hope that makes sense...I found you can google some of this stuff to...as caregiving or moving the injured.
good luck!

juju know how bad that will be for you. I hate having to put animals down I hate it...may be getting there with my Pug here...I'd rather just die first.

Hope the arm numbness is just a inched nerve Sharyn, it seems most likely.

mom ordered us house coats buy one get two for half...then looked at cheap ass shoes and tried to find some sandals..she is diabetic and needs good shoes but i AM not gonna get dragged into the money argument again. if fp gets new glasses he neither wants nor needs and has every gew gaw and entertainment available while we wera rags and eat nursing home food fine, but I will not be sucked into her BS arguments of money...she brings it up and than just says I can't afford it in a whiny voice...
We can't replace the fence, get take out, have a dish washer, buy name brand anything, replace the water heater etc etc etc...We have no money "I just don't have the money..." THAN STOP BRINGING IT UP MOTHER I AM TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT IT!!!!

now going to go through the books to sell...god this is gonna be a misery. I don't care


Oh, and I went out and smashed the storm window to BITS in the garage with the door shut rolled the shards up in a old plastic table "cloth" and into the trash it goes..."I can't afford the next size up garbage can...."

and there is the instrumental musac from Hell

what ever.

Lastly with kitty, his teeth are disgusting brown rotting mess and his breath stinks...he has a hard time with the dry food...but loves the canned. All this is so costly n extra stress is so hard and to fret over it. I feel I have no other choice but to put him down peacefully n end this problem. It will break my heart to give him up. he is my "firstborn" I got going thru my divorce...we have been thru thick n thin,17ys now! But he is otherwise healthy so I just cant decide right now!

oh and ziggy likes to practice for the coppertone position. I drag him around as he is pulling at my pantleg, or if I am working on puter or paperwork at desk he jumps in my lap or grabs on to sleeves...he has been pretty good lately tho as I sed.. they really do sense what is going on...they both missed their grandma and were all over her yesterday here...she seems fine to me. I only grazed over reports on weekend, so know kinda but not! anyway THANKS EVERYONE!

Yes Sharon, I am thinking it is a pinched nerve for me too! it is better today with rest.
take care y'all....call of dooty!

Thanks all-it is way down her back just above her tail bone...not sure what it is called... She forgot in the night that she can't get out of her bed on her own and didn't call me till she had trouble-I found her half in and half out of the bed almost on the floor. Thank God hubby was around to help me lift her! Good God! I don't know what I am gonna do. Haven't heard from visiting nurses yet. If I have to have someone watch her at night-ugh-not sure how that will work. She just forgets and tries God love her. I remember this a couple years ago and I got no sleep... and when I finally decided that I had enough and had to have someone sit with her at night-she got better! Sigh.
Juju-so sorry about your mom's prognosis. And sorry about the craziness you are going thru with all the records stuff. Thanks for the hug and for thinking of me!
Kuli-no surgery for mom-she can't go under anesthesia cause her lungs are so bad. Yes it is awful to see them in pain! We feel so helpless don't we?! And I have to be so careful with the pain meds cause she is sensitive to everything-stops her up or makes her run! ugh.
Sharyn, I go to a chiropractor 1x a week as a preventative to pinched nerves etc. Because of the way I have always held my head-and at about 45 found out it is all wrong-try and change that! Anyway-because of the way I hold it my arms tingle a lot and especially when I sleep! It was soooo bad before the chiro-I love him and can't live without him. And yes, I try to hold my head correctly-it is soooooo hard! I was doing really well and then this spring when I was weeding it got bad again. He said that I have to remind myself at all times to hold my head correctly-even when weeding when I forget about EVERYTHING! I tend to jut my chin out so my neck is forward and I have a little hump in the back. Not too bad but enough! I am sorry and hope you get yours straightened out.
Cat-so sorry about father goose! At least is was nature and not some man made thing that killed it. The circle of life. Hope he stays away from the babies!!Bummer. And thanks for the white light and hugs. Right back at ya woman! Hope you don't fret about the biopsy-maybe it will be nothing. It is so scary tho-and the waiting! ugh! Prayers for you from me!!!
Meanwhile-how long will that 3500 lbs of alfalfa last? Boy-you don't let anything keep you down! Don't overdo with that foot!
Jen-sorry you had morning duty. Go back and sleep all day fp!
Well, looks like rain here. Very hot and humid again. Feeding mom all her meals in bed-she feels like a queen! (When she isn't in pain!) Hope you all have a decent day of it! Hugs for everyone! Mame

Juju~I hope your spirits lift as the day goes on, you have a lot to absorb and deal with now. I will be thinking about you and sending positive thoughts your way.

I looked up online about my arm and the best I can find to define it is either a pinched nerve or rotator cuff injury which is a very common injury with my job. I think if it was rotator cuff, I would be having lots of pain.

Your little terrorist sounds like a handful but a cutie. Yes JRT are very high energy dogs, more so than this little poodle, LOL!! I was beat last night when I got home from work so I didn't walk her. She is not only adjusting to living here but adjusting to me being back at work. Last night she was a terror!! She would not settle down to go to sleep, grabbed socks I had in the livingroom and boy does she mean business when she gets hold of socks....growls and dares you to take them from her. She chased poor tiger kitty out of the house and barked on and on. I finally put her in her kennel and closed the bedroom door...slept on the couch. No patients for a spoiled little poodle last night. She is at the groomers this morning and I am going to take a nap while she is gone, YAY!!!

ughh no wonder I am sad, it is that time, the friend is visiting...
I am sleeping n eating good for past week so that is good
I feel like I am getting a cold too..it is so hot n muggy then at nite I wake up freezing and sneezing this has been happening for several nites and I feel my sinuses swelling N sore throat today!
waiting for Ma's doctors office to call back!

Cat I will pray for you!
deef-hope you are doing ok and adjusting to new life!
and meant all of our own health and on top of what the job brings with it!
again love to you all and thanks for listening!

I am just so sad this morning! I believe it will be ok but I need a good cry I think! Happy Bday to my daddy! I have so much to do now on the fast trak...My Ciara the protector is limping bad again today and this cat although still enjoying life is making a mess...I may just have to put em both down...I cant be worrying bout the cat especially..every time he goes on a roam past year I worry so when he doesn't come home for a day, where he is, if he ok, or a wild animal got to him, etc...he got a tumor or absess on his head by his ear...Ciara is riddled with small tumors and is going blind, I can see blue in her eyes, and the severe limping... she is 90lbs I cant care for her too... the low cost vet wont see us till we neuter the boy, Ziggy... I had real issue with that as I had planned to breed him, he Is a very handsome JRTerrier, and perfect to breed AKC standards. idk it all gonna cost a lot to fix em all up. I will wait till I get more info on momma I guess....just overwhelming! been contemplating this for several weeks...the pet situation. I am just sad today, tired and need a day off...but I gots so much to do this week. the weekend will be our time I guess! THANKS FOR LISTENING EVERYONE...LOVE TO YOU ALL!!! oh I want to get my eyes checked and some glasses asap as I cant barely see small print anymore, seems to be worsening or it is all this stress, idk....and my teeth are next to go, already lost 3 molars. and did not afford the bridge or partial to replace, im going to need to puree both our food soon, lol!
Sharyn...your arm sounds like mine, it feels numb, no pain in arm but neck did have a painful knot...that has dissipated. DR sed it was stress and 250 in rx...I will take Tylenol route! I hope midget is adjusting...my ziggy really needs that type of exersize too. I just don't have it in me for him...but JRT's need lots of it.. he has been amazingly well behaved past few months...but very aggressive at times. He started a big fight at friends over food and escapes and reaks havoc in the hood, turns monsterish on the loose, nips n scares all the kids n cats! ugh Midget sounds adorable tho
Mame....I wish I could give you more advice, my mom doesn't complain of pain much for her injury's but the arthritis is what she aches with...
Jen-I don't really know the background of FP but I sure know it must be awful to be strapped taking care of a grouchy old man....
Bob-How's the boat? I wish I could be floating in the carib! I pulled out the photo's of my travel days yesterday after my St Lucia post, oh what fun I did have! forgot bout the Barbados trip and the hurricane we barely missed us...I saved the hotel safety procedures was an interesting 36 hours! we had pack seal and label luggage..all dining was shut down, they just had a buffet in main area. the winds and waves were awesome tho...we bodysurfed at midnite rite outside the room!!! It was a business trip for that one so a big group of us, just got hammered n Bsurf...not a good combo in retrospect but was stress reliever!
EVERYONE who I missed hope your day is best it can be!!! Wishing us all good luck with our own health issues this job brings with it....

Sorry to hear your mom is in pain mame hope it passed quickly.
And good luck on the biopsy Cat, very scary stuff when health issues surface, hope it is benign, just a bit of tissue or something.
fp had blood tests today, what ever. I put the window ac in his room. gonna be high nineties this week even HE notices that degree of heat...
sharyn, know that one too, worries but no money to get to doc. I would say look up symptoms but that might make you think worse things. you could ask if any family has the same issues. Lots of possibilities, could be pinched nerves even? How long it has been going on would be good to know too. I hope you can get to see a doctor or it clears up on it's own, bodies do some mighty weird stuff.
Hope rest of week goes well for everyone. Hi to deef if you are passing by....Jen

Mame - my dad had a vertebral compression fracture also. What vertebrae is it? Dad's was thoracic (mid back) and they were able to do a vertebralplasty - they basically put a balloon device into the vertebrae, inflate it to the level it should be and fill the space with bone cement. It did help to reduce his pain. My thoughts are with you. It's so hard to see them in pain and not be able to relieve it. Hugs ~ Kuli

Ya, new home health agency did intake today and will have RN here Friday to help us assess the situation. Requested the works again PT OT Speech(incl eating) dietician bather and social worker! Between them n DR shud get r doneI do want to start reviewing files just can't yet. I need to be with my mama now was ruff living outta car for days then we just stayed weekend in motel to try to get dr down there Monday. No luck but busy day. TOMORO is dad's BDay I want to do something idk what new cgvr will work 4-9 but she now sez her back is shot too and may not be able to do the heavy work. My body has been aching to. Every transfer diaper change Back aches... Stress knot in neck is going away tho. Yes least I know what is going on now and got to get computers looked at both lappy's are down n iPad all I have left!! The dr eval are in print but chart notes n X-ray are on disk

Good nite everyone!

Cat~Hoping all goes well with the biopsy, I am sure you are concerned. My sis had a bit of a scare about 5 years ago, it turned out to be calcification from fibrocystic breast disease and they keep a close watch on it.
Juju~Sorry you didn't get more answers but at least you can plan...can you bring in hospice to help at this point? It does sound a little vague without the dr. giving you more details and that is a shame.

We also had a lot of rain yesterday...very unusual for us this time of year. Today we were back in the 80's and by Friday we will be hitting over 100.

The issue with my arm is strange...no pain but tingling down my arm into my thumb and first 2 fingers and my arm just feels kind of heavy. I notice I can't wring water out of towels at work as easily with my right arm so it is like I have weakness in movement...a little clumsy feeling. I can't go to the dr. because my insurance ran out while I was on leave, (our insurance is guaranteed based on working a minimum of 24 hours a week), it did not occur to me I would not be insured and communication in our company really sucks. When I went to work yesterday, I was talking with one of the ladies and she said...didn't you file for an extension on your insurance while you were off? Well no, I didn't...the information was not provided and I guess if you don't ask the right questions, they volunteer nothing. It's really a shame. When I was transferred from the Tracy store, it took 10 months for the company to get my check stubs sent to the store they transferred me to and it was all because the store manager at the Tracy store wouldn't send in the transfer info. Anyway enough of that rant, Lol!! Have a good evening everyone and hoping tomorrow brings a day of peace!!

Oops missed the part bout 1-6mo's left!!! I just don't see it, who knows ?!?!?

Cat tails how scary, n Mame n mom,: everyone you are in my thoughts n prayers

Oh n s'mores are so good but to much gives you a tummy ache! S'mores later!

Oops iPad is messin me up. Didn't realize that posted, puter is down for now...and I just typed a whole long thing and lost it so more tomoro I am beat! Basically we need a good GP to re-evaluate I am not in denial but it was a shock this is the first time this info was relayed to us...preparing for the worst and praying for the best! I believe if we keep her active we have more time than what they said. I do need to find a better DR/GP, probably down south...than this low cost clinic which is only giving her NP not MD I come to find out? I was told the MD there is good tho so I will just try that get her on books for MD only ASAP and continue looking south. We are not going down without a fight (clinic was only one I cud get to take her medicare, a that time n place). LOVE TO YOU ALL! I am to tired to read here still. Watching all my recordings of The Voice tonite to see who won while I was gone. I am emotionally fried!!!! But strong just need some good rest now for the next round here! Love love love you all !!! Hope all is well in CG land

On the weather front, I don't envy 90 to 95 degrees and humidity to boot. On the other hand, we have had a lot of rain. It's hard to believe that July is almost here. On a sad note, a bald eagle got one of our geese parents. Dad always brings up the rear and he was just a few short feet from the pond. The rest...mom and the 3 goslings made it to the water. I didn't see it, thankfully, but I'm guessing that's what happened. We saw the eagle in the trees with lots of ravens/crows diving on it. Later we saw in on the ground by the pond so went out to see what it had gotten. We were hoping it wasn't the geese. Aww, that's nature. Everything has to eat. Just makes me sad.

Mame, Juju, so sorry about the situation with both your mothers. Must be so frustrating. Sharyn, glad to hear your mother is settling down some. Hope your neck is getting better.
It's hot and humid here too. Hauled hay yesterday. 3500 pounds of alfalfa. Put it in the barn with a come a long.
Cat, hoping for the best results on your biopsy. I had a root canal this year too, cracked a tooth, never even had a filling before.
Thanks for the jokes Cuz.

Well here it is guys...I took ma to the hospital down south supposed to be the best around. I wanted them to check her out from head to toe, they did not.
So far they sed she shows signs of end of life nearing. Yet refused a family meeting to discuss what that meant, got the discharge taken care of and all that is on paperwork is UTI, . So now I had to order all records again, not ready to look at them as they always seem hold information that never would be known to us unless we request records, it just dont make any sense to me to stowmit in a file and ,leave it their, who does that help? and then I had to go back next day and get the other parts of file, nursing noted..poop n eating for my chart/logs.

Oh,, Mame: So sorry about your mom. Bless her heart for assuring you that she knows it's not your fault. My heart goes out to both of you. I hope something can be done to ease her pain. Sending you lots of white light and cyber hugs.

Today was a follow up to mammogram from 10 days ago. Left breast needed additional scans. Looks like a small mass so ultra sound followed, but couldn't locate what appeared on mammogram. Doc said it might be too deep for ultra sound to find. Scheduled for biopsy this Friday. Had to have a root canal about 6 weeks ago. WTF!

Mom is in terrible pain and the Tramadol helps her relax but getting up and down is horrific. I just know we are going to end up in the hospital. It will probably be me with my back out from all I am doing with her! I am angry and sad (for her) and I don't even know what else. There is no one to blame and no one to be mad at. Not that that would help but it would direct my energy somewhere. It is what it is and it sucks. She will forget that she was even in pain, but it is terrible going thru it...I won't forget. Only consolation is she keeps telling me "you're nice." She knows I am not hurting her...it just hurts her to move so even in her pain, she is kind to me cause she knows how bad I feel! Amazing. Unhappily yours...mame

One awesome thing was the local musician I really like (who drew me to the area where I want to go, and my BFF's n friends live) passed me in the grocery store as I was getting supplies. He was holding his li'l toe headed toddler's hand, looked at me in my ugliest borrowed outfit n stress knotpained face and smiled n nodded at me...it was a confirmation to me...like its ok this is where we need to be, in a loving community! He has a song hit the charts locally and it also is one that picks me up, I put it on YouTube that eve n danced around my friends porch...haven't done that in a while... I used to blast the music to do my chores. I need to get the computers all running so I can do that...I gots no radio signal up here. Alcyon Massive, ain't it fresh, and Oregon sunset! I have always loved reggae since we went to st Lucia and the dive boat guys took us to the "Friday nite fish pot" a local weekly street fair and we went into this tin shack, and we were vip'd passed the line and were inside authentic dance club, was one of the most memorable nites. We had a blast kinda skeery too, the man had his camera stolen n us two females were certainly getting the attention but our boys were right there, had our back's....like bodyguards....it was shoulder to shoulder n we danced all nite! Then went for local grub booth...end up later finding out by describing the weird bones in the stew, it was possum stew/curry..and my friend laughed at me no more about my snacks in the suitcase! Point Julie!!!!