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Sharyn, so sorry about your brother.
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Bobbie: Beautiful story about the Boat. Really beautiful. Glad to know there's a 3 member crew onboard. What are your plans for taking the boat out. Is there a time frame based on weather patterns; i.e not during hurricane season or things like that.
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juju you have a jack russell terrorist, Lol!! this little princess poodle is losing her tiara until she can behave.
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juju hope you are Ok and your mom heals up. A rib is a big deal, it can effect everything becasue it is so central and once sore you have to work around it on top of everything else!

Cat, I had not thought of that. It would be a short play with few characters and that seems to be what they want any how...

Thinking of you Dflex, know you did all you could and I am sure your mom does
too!

Hi to cuz and sharyn and mame and Chrsitina

Hope things are going OK for everyone...Jen
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Just a thought, would a muzzle help....maybe! I know it sounds cruel but the have cloth ones that wouldn't be to uncomfortable for the lil one!

I have to say I let out a big cry this morning, I don't often cry, especially out loud like that...but when I do my lil Ziggy right there with a hug for me.. He's a Jack Russell Terrorist.. cute as a button! He gives hugs, literally... When he decides its time to luv mama up, he comes flying into my lap, puts his front paws around my neck and proceeds to (try) wash my face! or in this case wash the tears away! and It always cheers me up! That's my boy!!!

Mom is resting comfortably, she gonna be hurting for a while! ugghhhh!

Oh what a nite in the ER!!! I do not like smug DR's!!!
But the way I handled it...I was so proud of myself!! I could not of done that a month ago!!! Well on to tackle my new challenges for today!

Hang in there everyone!
1luv!
Juju
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Damn yappy dog, I slept in one hour intervals all night because every little noise midget starts barking. She thinks she is a doberman, little dogs with big attitudes.
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tWe were fortunate the hip fracture was in a position to let us treat it that way tooo...blessings...he sed we were lucky about that!!!
The extra load of toting her around now is taking its toll on my back tho, in 4 short months....I am absolutely exhausted now all the time! oh ho hum...and a bottle of rum!!!
Thanks for all the well wishes. goodnite!!
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I am not upset it was not a stupid move on my part like when she fell outta the wheelchair last month, I know this one there was nothing I could have done differently....
Just amazed tho...I was barely applying any pressure as usual. She did kinda twist a bit b4 so maybe I did squeeze. But it just didn't seem like what we were doing could result in that. boy she sure is frail!! a lil porcelain doll...

that is exactly why we decided to treat her hip fracture without surgery...
after discussing it with the orthopedist...he felt risk would out way benefit. and we choose to give up her ability to walk over the risk of surgery, ambulating, and then taking another spill n really busting it herself up bad. as she only walked from bed to bath to living room anyway maybe 50ft a day! Just have to say I did love that surgeon. He was great. I say this cuz I am so disgusted with every other dr I have seen with her including tonite!!!
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what is the difference between school and life....
School: you learn and then you are tested
Life: you are tested and then you learn
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That mother Theresa thing was hilarious. I read it as leapers the first time and didn't get it, at all. I'm like " what is a leaper, what are they leaping over, what could tongs possibly have to do with it - Bob's a li'l rusty". I got schooled!!!

Love the boat story...that had to actually written by a caregiver here, it seems,. very cool.

Crazy nite in the ER, a story for some other day, but I "think" I broke her rib(s)
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That's right, her name was Barbara, thanks Chris.

Cat, she is a crew member who wrote that about her situation with her sibs and this boat that we are all floating in right at this moment. I hope she is doing well.

Thanks Cuz! Reading back through all of these posts would be a daunting task and I am just glad to see those words again simply because I think that it expresses the frustration of those who have siblings who don't help and are clueless to how their sister or brother feels when they are overwhelmed by caregiving.

Sharyn! I sure had estate sales and they are part of the sadness that I experienced. I still regret selling some stuff but there is nothing I can do about it now. We all do the best we can in the situation. My situation was really nuts. *sigh*

Ya, elevation can be a tough environment for a lung patient to be sure.

Juju! omg, a rib...!! ow ow ow. A broken rib IS a big deal and I'm glad you are getting your mom to the hospital. They will make her more comfortable. It is so easy to pop something trying to help someone move. Hope you are ok too Juju!

Cat, we are 3 souls on board: Clawshank the Decimator, Ship's Cat and the Boat Angel and yours truly. The Boat Angel is snoring away and the Ship's Cat is giving me the stink eye because I refuse to feed her at 3 in the morning.

We all have to remember to take it easy on ourselves. We are not saints and we are not sinners. We just are.
We did something no one else could do and there is no time for us to beat ourselves up over anything that happened because that takes away from the good we did and prolongs the suffering that we endured. Screw that. No self inflicted bad feelings!!
Way to say it msdaizy!

ok, back to bed for me.

lovbob
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Well said, msdaizy. I went through so much sadness after my dad passed. It's been 8 months and I'm starting to see things in a much brighter way, but it does take time.

Cuz, thank's for posting that story. Makes me think of the boat.
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Flex....I hear you. I understand what you are feeling. But don't be too hard on yourself. Give yourself credit...you never gave up. Thats the one thing that I feel good about. No matter how bad and how frustrated we got with our moms....we held it together enough to take the very best care of them. You stayed at your mom's side when she needed you the most. You gave her top priority over you and now it's time for you. Anytime your feeling down..or just need to talk you know we are all here for you. With open arms. (((Hugs))). Give it time...time will heal.
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Mame: Sending you lots of love.

Meanwhile: That sucks about the carpenter ant. Hope you are healing and I'm glad you have Indio to soften the hard things.

Jen: I don't remember if I said this before or just thought it. You could write a play that revolved around your neighbor that died. Remember the story you posted about watching the ambulance, etc., from your window. I'm thinking all the thoughts of the individual neighbors who witnessed the same situation and how they would react based on their circumstances. Responses from many to the same event.

I know I missed so many, but I do care about all of you. That's the bad thing about lurking, you miss posting your daily responses and then you just can't catch up.

Sending you all love and white light. Cattails.
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Bobbie: I hate to ask you outright, but is the Boat Angle still on board? Watch out for those tornado warnings, I see them on the news for Florida. Any chance you can make to John Wayne Marina in Sequim, Wa?
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It was Linda09 who posted about the chiggars, setting up a hotel in her privates. Still makes me laugh. She has a wonderful way with words.

I've been lurking, but read the thread.

Juju, so sorry and hope your mom is ok. You are doing your best and doing nothing wrong. Shit just happens.

Diane: Give yourself a break for God's sake. It's the hardest advise to take, but you deserve so much compassion. Don't beat yourself up. You are lucky to be alive and you were your mother's best friend. You loved her, even when she wasn't her anymore. I hope you can reason with the doubts and understand it's part of the grief process. It will take some time, but now you have to take some steps to live your life. It will take time to get to a place where you even can appreciate that you have a life. You have to re-learn that and find a way to enter a world where you are no longer the care giver. You will honor your mother by living your life. Have some patience with yourself.

Stay in touch and know that you are loved by everyone here. You are loved by the universe and by your mom's spirit.

By the way, I agree with those who believe that when we pass into God's light, we see everything with love and understanding. We can even love ourselves. Geez, what a concept. Let's do our best to love ourselves in this world.
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Bobbie~The part of Arizona my bro wanted to move to is at 6,000 ft. elevation so its a no go since drs. don't advise he go about 2,000 ft. The coast is out because too high humidity.
juju~ hope all is ok with your mom sending Hugs, prayers and positive thoughts!

Spent most of the day going through mom's house. Making some progress. Has anyone every had an estate sale. I don't know what else to call it, furniture, wall decor, stereo in a cabinet with plastic wood front (70's) 8 track w/turn table am fm radio. I don't want to mislead people thinking it is antiques or other valuables.
Anyway, I am rambling I know, I have midget with me tonight, mom is very upset she is not with her but I explained to her that I will bring her back tomorrow. I decided to bring her overnight because the community told me midgets barks and is keeping mom's neighbors from sleeping. Hopefully the fur doesn't fly during the night here with tiger kitty. Midget will not be the winner, LOL!!
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Cuz , it was Barbara who hangs out at old cemeteries.
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I know broken rib isn't to serious but when I called they sed cud puncture her lung etc...I panicked...it been ruff week but I think we be ok! I just have a feeling. We always see deer runnin round the hills next to or crossing freeway and unsuccessfully crossing. On the drive up I saw a deer just laying in safety lane with his head up...looking around. That is not normal so I called it in, troopers are going to check him out...so I did me good deed and prayed on way up!!! Poor li'l fella I'm pretty sure he had been hit! Hope he is ok or not suffering. Waiting for mom to come back from X-ray...gosh I do dislike hospitals, tho. Well what away to spend the evening! And this darn iPad I can't see a thing, so small..n I going blind!!!! I think I will try to get a catnap...I am so tired, was gonna go to bed right after dinner! Best laid plans........hahaha! Take care y'all!!
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Cuz~Great story with great meaning and very true!!!
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Hey cuz Can't member who posted this but give me a couple of days and I could go back and read all the posts and find out for ya.
lovCuz
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I waded into the ocean thinking I was being careful. Had my sunblock on and my rubber ducky around my waist - and my brothers were on shore so if I got into trouble they could rescue me. I was doing Ok for a while, determined that I could adapt and thrive despite having never been in the ocean before.
After a time I became aware that I'd been drifting. There was so much going on - what with the waves and the wind and the sun in my eyes and all the while concentrating on keeping afloat. But now I realized I was in over my head - something I'd never intended.
I immediately began calling out to my brothers - they should have been able to hear me. They knew what I was doing and they should have been looking out for me. I could see them on the shore, laughing and having drinks and so engaged in their own lives they never once turned to look out to sea. It was as if they didn't want to know if I was in trouble. Didn't want to rescue me . . .
I struggled out of my floatie and tried swimming back to shore, but the current had me, and by now my energies were waning. There was nothing to do but ride it out, and I turned onto my back and began to float. The sunblock was gone, my face burning, and I told myself this couldn't go on indefinitely. The tide had to change, the current weaken. I just had to hold on.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, storm clouds began to gather, and the waves were tossing me about, and then the rain fell so hard and fast I was struggling not to drown. And while I fought, I realized there were shadows under the water - dark, murky shadows in the quiet depths that were gathering around me, and even as I fought I began to consider if the struggle to stay afloat was even worth it. I was exhausted with my efforts. There was no hope of rescue. Maybe it was time to give up.
And then the boat arrived. And a lifeline was thrown around my neck.
And on the boat there was a group of sunburned, windswept women - beautiful women - many of whom still had seaweed in their hair. And together they reached out and they pulled me from the water, and they gave me my own place in the boat. And they welcomed me with words of comfort and understanding, and they wanted to know my story, and they wanted to tell their stories. And it didn't matter to these beautiful women what if any God I worshipped, or what language I spoke, or my ethnicity, or bank account, or political affiliation, or even my bathing suit size.
The prerequisite for being on the boat was simply the willingness to help others who have waded into the water and found themselves in trouble. Share the sun block. Pump up the rubber ducky. Throw out a lifeline. And when possible -help them find a reason to laugh.
---
Now who's up for another slice of gator tail pie with balz sauce?
La la la
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PRAY FOR US, MY NEW FRIENDS...OFF TO THE ER WITH MA! GAAAA

I was getting her set up for dinner, and as lifting her outta the chair hands on her rib cage....herd a giant pop and she yelped loud...so I think I just broke her damn ribs....F$%^!!!
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Well stated Chris and thanks.
lovbob xo
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Dear Diane,
From one of us who have been with you through this for several years, I would like to say "WELL DONE, Good and Gracious Daughter."
Your humanity and compassion was evident. If you cannot be objective, let me tell you that YOU suffered to give your Mom the best care. YOU put up with the attacks of your siblings and endured unbelievable stress to continue to care for your Mom. She is nodding her head and saying, "Yes, that's my Diane, Blessed daughter."
All the Best to you, Dear Girl. Do something for YOU now.
Bobbie, loved the Mother Teresa schtick! LOL!!!
Love to all of you dear friends,
Christina xo
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Diane!
Got to consciously go a different route when those thoughts wash over you.
Nothing you do is wrong and the grief will come and go like tides.

We all ain't Mother Theresa so don't beat yourself up. She knew how much you cared for her.

I bet even Mother Theresa had her days though.

(vision of Mother Theresa venting to another nun:)

Damn Lepers!! Leaving stuff everywhere for us to pick up. Jeeze..... Pass me those tongs.....

Sharyn, so sorry about your brother's lung disease. Arizona would be a good lung place wouldn't it? Sorry they can't go now. Ow Ow

Mame! Sometimes I think I will name the boat the USS Sieve.

OK, back to work for me.

Love you guys,

lovbob
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We got word yesterday that my brother's lung disease has progressed so he is back to square one taking prednisone again. Dr.s are hoping to restore his breathing capacity back to where it was 6 months ago. I feel so bad for him because he and his wife had all these plans of moving to the mountains in Arizona when they retired.
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Flex~I believe that when we pass away all things are revealed to us, your mom knows you did the very best possible, you were loyal and loving, the best daughter a mother could hope for and she still loves you unconditionally, that will always be a given. Take it one step at a time, hugs to you!
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Flex-so glad to hear from you! It will be a process getting through your feelings. I like to think that when we die, we receive complete understanding, and so I am sure your mom knows how wonderful you were to her. Forgive yourself for the little missteps you may have taken-but really-who wouldn't have gotten frustrated? I am sure your mom got frustrated with you sometimes too! We are human! You were there for her and are a wonderful daughter and person! She knows and I am sure is pleased with you! Remember the good times. And here is a hug for all you did! ((((HUG)))) You should get in touch with a bereavement group and I am sure you will meet people who have felt or are feeling the same as you are and they will help you through it. We are here for you-and you do make sense. Get it out! We love you and want to help you through this! Your feelings have value and you own them...we won't judge! Love ya woman! Mame
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Diane,
I am new here but I can identify with what your saying so so much! and you have been thru HELL....Babble all you want!!!

Praying for your strength and happiness to return! BIg HUGGSSS
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