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OMG Juju-you nailed it! This rollercoaster ride of emotions and how our minds deal ugh... I am up again. It is 66 days till I go on a week vacation so I have something to look forward to... So now I am on a trek to lose some weight again. I am walking with the dog daily and I have my exercise bike back and am starting that again... My knee feels better from riding the bike already! So, if I can keep up the positive thoughts about all this could do for me-maybe it can give me willpower to keep it up. My goal is 12lbs lost by vacation. I am not drinking as much beer either-my carb & calorie downfall!!! Gonna try wine and only 1 night a week. Carbs were my killer on WeightWatchers too... so discouraging that we can't just eat/drink what we want and never gain an ounce! For all we do and put up with-we deserve at least that tight?!!!
Anyway, mom was up early today from all the sleep she got yesterday. She is in a good mood. So, maybe she was just tired! She did wake up yesterday and this morning with a nose full-but I am hoping it is not the start of a cold and just whatever is blooming this week that is bothering her. We'll see!
Rosco likes to stir the pot....prob likes the attention or is just jealous of the friendships made here... Bobbie-I like your "don't be a hater" but I really think he just does it for the reactions. Enough said.
Hi Austin! Hey Cat-how are you doing? Deef-hope you are doin ok! Hi Jen! Where's Stormy? Hi Sharyn, BJ, Meanwhile, Linda, Kuli & Daizy....Cuz-what's up? Flex-how are you doing now that you are back home? Does Cricket ever visit the thread anymore? I am sure I missed some of the crew-old and new-sorry-Drop in and say helloooo!!! Let us know what you are up to!
Gotta go make lunch... cool today but humid...rain predicted for the next 4 days. UGH. Have a decent day all! Mame
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The worst battle you have to fight is what you know and what you feel....had to post this quote I just found by mark twain..and actually I think it was sharynmarie who shared it....it state clearly what I was trying to describle..
when I get down in the dumps my mind sez wrong get up but then it also sez you don t have the energy to get up and I have a war in my head consuming all logical thinking power, just to try to be happy! the result is things slip, don't get done, get ignored etc.... it is viscous!!!
k no biggie but I just hate when I ramble and I did when I tried to explain that feeling previously!
GOOD DAY TO ALL!
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I see! yup I tried to give roscoe some advice/sppt and I felt his response to be in the bite me tone, lol. k thanks!
I don't really want to spend another minute on it, wasteful, but: Glad has a financially set cuz he gonna need it with that attitude! but then again I feel sorry too their are dayz I wanna tell everyone to kiss my $%^ . I don't need any one everyone is a stinking a#%$holes and I will do this all by myself...look how long it took me to get here..8ys.. so I empathize! ugghhh forever the compassionate soul..it's gonna kill me!!!
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Juju,
Some time ago someone by the user name of Amber Jane posted some nasty remark like ol Roscoe just did.. (as he did once before and we still reached out to him...check out his wall where Diane/Flex tried to ease his misery...)

I responded to Amber Jane without thinking:
Oh Bite Me Amber Jane

Since then, when someone attacks us one of us will usually say:
OBMAJ.
Love you Austin!

We are an inclusive bunch and we welcome all to this thread. If this thread doesn't work for you there are literally dozens here on this amazing site that might work better. Why attack us?

Roscoe, you started a viable thread of your own so why bother the Grossed Thread?
Roscoe, when you hate your own life hating someone else and what they do to cope won't make your life any better.

Don't be a hater.

lovbob
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Go capn bob and Austin have to ask..what is OBMAJ?
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I cant help but say this...
Roscoe...what I find odd behavior is to come to a caregiving support website and reject any and all ideas thrown your way, refuse to get help and then bash the ones giving tried n true advice and support...
II WOULD SAY TO YOU......VERY ODD....ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
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Roscoe this thread is for caregivers and former caregivers to support each other so why don't you just leave us -we have been doing fine without your rude comments I do not give a rat's behind how you feel about us-we do not need you and your comments.OBMAJ.
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Hey there Juju,
The boat is supposed to move this Sunday. Was supposed to move last Saturday but it didn't work out so hopefully this Sunday.

I don't do any material about caregiving yet since I haven't gotten up since mom died.
Don't know what will happen and we shall see!

And I guess I have to deal with this sh!t:
Roscoe, kiss my ass.
Tried to be nice to you but I guess you are too immersed in misery to realize that.
If you don't like the thread, stay off the thread.
Offense intended.

Easy enough?

lovbob
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bobbie...our posts crossed, and funny we closed it almost identical.
Way cool bout the comedy thing. I wonder how much material you could use from this life...how can we make shitty diapers funny...I think mite be special kinda humor only we get? but there has got to be something in it you could use?
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roscoe....IMHO who cares when it was started if it is being used means it is useful :o)
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THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY STARTED IN 2010......AND PEOPLE ARE STILL ADDING TO IT.........'NO OFFENSE'........TO ANYONE........BUT THIS IS WEIRD.......OVER 27,000 'REPLIES'.........VERY ODD.......ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
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Bobbie.. Did you move yet? How is that going?
Sharyn Awe...Hope you don't have to separate them. If she could keep Midget sure be a level of comfort for her in the transition...I hope it works out, im pullin for ya midget, be a good li'l doggy!!!!! Sounds like things are going ok otherwise...I saw your post somewhere about the laurel n hardy day with her shower!! that is tooo funny!
I was gonna say one day looked at my MA and thought I got her looking just like me, now!!! Same hair and clothes I would pick for me, I pick for her, never occurred to try to pick what I would think she would pick. I love to make her look cute and bright....I treat her more like my baby than my mama! but literally she is my 100lb baby, so why not have fun with it...I never got to dress up my kids, etc!
By the way everyone who meets her thinks she is just the cutest lil thing.
I know it not just me...god I do sound like a parent...my kid is the best lol!!!!



I am blessed that she is so sweet n co-operative blessed blessed blessed...how bad things are it could be worse she could be running round the house hiding things, hallucinating etc...we have a peaceful life...
Probably tooo peaceful. I wish for a job or some human interaction to offer a distraction , Have a debate with on the hot news topic, simply cook a meal or make a pot o coffee once in a while...or hand me the item I forgot therefore have to put ma back in bed and go get it, and start over etc...just that security and companionship of someone else around case I keel over.

I run in a small circle but never been this alone..i always had a work family...I spent a lot of time at the office....this is like solitary confinement! That is what I think puts me over the edge..the solitude

anyway things are ok much better than they were a month ago!!

love you guys...thanks for being there!
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Boat Time for Mame!
Sorry the guys are insensitive. Have you told them, hey wtf!
I know that some family members can't even hear about caregiving or how your day went and will do anything to run out of the room to avoid it.
I get the waiting too.

You're doing it Juju... I had Chinese today as well. Something about Chinese food is comforting to me.

Jen! omg how much longer?

Sharyn, your sister can't control this disease and I bet she is in denial about what's going on with your mom. Little stuff like a sweater and haircut is what she can pick on but you probably already know that it's not about the sweater and the haircut. Can you let her take your mom out for a makeover on your sister's dime? They would both have fun and you could come down to the boat!

Here's hoping that the memory care works out and there is less stress.

ok, thinking about everyone, and Cattails and Deef and Cuz!!

The Cat has fallen into a nasty habit. And I am the Enabler.
I wake up at 4am and have a pee and the Cat thinks that this is a perfectly good time to holler for something to eat. I try and ignore her and that works until she gets on my desk to find some paper to shred. Then I get up and feed the Cat.
I have got her right where she wants me. haha

I used to be a comedian before I took care of mom but haven't done stand up in forever. This Friday I will do it again at a comedy club near here. I never thought that I would perform again because I was so sad about all of this. Thanks again for being here you guys.

I just took a shot and called the club thinking I could maybe get 5 minutes in an amateur showcase but they figured out that I have done this before so they're giving me a feature spot. We'll see how this turns out. haha. Bring it.

It's part of the recovery to know that you can at least get some of your life back.

Love you guys,
lovbob
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We had a 30 review with the community on Tuesday. They recommend moving mom into the memory unit because she is having some trouble dressing herself in the right order in the mornings.We have agreed it would be best. They said she is participating in activities and is making friends. She will not initiate contact on her own, but that is my mom. Midget on the other hand is not working out, they suggest we remove midget when mom gets moved downstairs. Sis doesn't want to that, but the nurse in memory care is only willing to give midget a week to 10 days to adjust. I don't see that happening. Whats really bothering me early this wednesday morning is my sister wants to make my mother over into someone she isn't...she hates this sweater that mom wears everyday and wants to throw it out, she doesn't like the haircut my mom has been wearing for at least 7 years now and wants her hair different. It's a little thing, but I want my mom to look like my mom based on what she would choose if she could. We have already had one argument on this subject and I am trying hard to keep my mouth shut, but my sis is just too controlling. She really needs to stop picking at the way mom looks and leave her be who she is.
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It is good to throw stuff out after so long, just crap! Move it out and move on...best I can considering...Ah the place that smells like a latrine....yep, five years going. When we move after he croaks we will have to use that odor block paint, and of course refinish all the floors...beh...
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oops started out to say glad u got it not me, mame...]
sometimes I cant stand myself, lol!!!! it's good tho..my humor is returning!!!
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I am beat, this has been one heck of an emotional but good week....Having some Chinese, chardonnay and watching The Voice with Ma. Our Saturday nite!!
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Boat time for me again?!!!
Sitting watching Downton Abbey with mom...
Can't wait to go to bed-but since she slept all day I am not sure when we she will want to! :)
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Norman-I totally get taking the long way home or having a good cry in the car. I don't want to go in either.
Homewithmom-they do like something to do! Mom folds her stuff and I used to refold-but not anymore...I just put it away like she folds it. No energy here for redo's.
Daizy-poop on the deodorant?! Ick! I wouldn't gag over it but it sure is disgusting!
Juju-You have so much going on girl! Hugs to you!
My positive attitude lasted until hubby and son came home and I was excited to have dinner with them and chat and what do they do? Immediately walk out to the shed to work on son's motor cycle. Oh yea! I get to eat with mom who repeats the same stuff over & over.... They are now eating and wonder why I am quiet. Whatever. Didn't get out today cause the car breaks are bad... Hubby has to fix them. Good thing I had cancelled daycare cause mom slept all day. And I mean all day. I was really worried. I would wake her and give her meds and a little food... She talked and said she was ok-that she just wanted to sleep. So, she got up-finally-at 4pm. I had a tension headache from worrying about her. I could have gotten a lot done had I known she was gonna sleep all day. But I just putzed around...waiting mostly... The bathroom is clean...and her laundry and we had a nice dinner-Pork BJ!!! Haha Anyway, the day wasn't a complete waste. And it was nice outside.
I will try and get back on track tomorrow... Ttyl! Mame
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I let my Mom wash dishes just for something to do---- I rewash them when she is sleeping. Same with laundry- let her fold then my husband and I refold
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I gave up a (part time) job that I really loved to take care of my dad full time. He was not nice growing up and he's even less nice now. I don't know how to deal with him. He demands all my time and attention. I try to get some air, go to the grocery, even volunteering to do outside stuff that I really don't want to do, just to get away from him. He wants to go everywhere with me, I've even had to kick him out of the bathroom so I can pee. sometimes when I come home from somewhere I've been blessedly alone, I sit in the car and cry. I have to make myself go into the house. I used to love the home my husband and I raised our 5 children in. Now it feels like a prison. And smells like a latrine.
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then there Is the anger I rage with toward dad for his role...but again he was sick, too...how can you blame someone for being sick.... and they had their fair share of tragedy in their life as well...losing a newborn, etc.... and they didn't have the support we do.....It wasn't talked about in there day!
especially now that you know how hard life's blows can be!! I cannot blame them but I can be angry this is what I was born into, a life of chaos!! I know a child learns more from actions than books I am sure I learned poor life skills in this drama!!!! some I have overcome some I still struggle with!!!

sorry and have a good day!!!!
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ps.... if I get boat time today, somebody needs to take me out back n put me outta my misery, lol !
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ok sorry sed I wasn't gonna do this today...
but I guess that is why those who had less than perfect parenting, struggle with.

What is purposeful is history but the lines blur sometimes, cause of the history!

I HAD been question myself regularly......am I crazy, is she crazy, is she f-ing with me (her fav tool was the poor me thing I am sick). will I end up in a loony bin yet....etc...idk just yapping away!!!

wow I just got that one now. as I type this out...she had no one cuz the MH (mostly dad's and bro's) issues had alienated everyone in her family.... and she was alone n sick in CG Burnout mode too, she was alone n wanted me to help her but I was a child how cud I understand everything was so freaking chaotic all the time.) poor sweet lil thing....she did it....she put a roof over my head and dads. for that matter, I will love her forever, she has certainly paid her dues!

bittersweet double edged crappy situation..... I was planning on finding a nice man and having some kids after my divorce not this, but I cant abandon her.

K im crying again....good day!!!
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oh and just to clarify...I get why she does it.. but my mental block was the selectivity she applies to it. she only does it when I am not looking. so I was thinkin is she manipulating me STILL just a lil...but I reasoned out with help that she does respect and try to follow my instructions but my presence is required to be of a reminder!!!
and it is cute as heck when I Bust her spoon feeding my li'l ZIggy (the Jack Russell Terrorist)! I cant help but chuckle that one off!!! and he gets a tiny scolding but all good!
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good for you daizy n Jen...I bet that feels good!!! Physical purging is good too,I need to get rid of so much too. still hard letting go emotionally of stuff but gotta, like an old beat up chair I spent my afterschool days, etc..... combining two households creates clutter and I like organization!
treat yourself good, ms daizy, you earned your stripes (everyone for that matter)!!!
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Okay...so I missed a couple of days. I have been doing things around here..having a sale and going to doctors. Since mom was with me I have been neglecting me...so now I am focusing on me. Its almost been 6 months. I had a good cry with my doctor today...talking about her. She's getting me something to sleep at night and something for my acheys. But I will have to say...as much as I don't miss the "gag factor" you all have given me a good giggle. Laughter is the best medicine.
Juju...sometimes trying a new tactic works so much better. I found this out the hard way too. Just understand if your mom has dementia...food doesn't taste the same, nor does the textures. And spitting it out is so normal. Mom did that or fed it to the dog when I turned my back. The nurses basically told me not to worry about it. I know the stressing over those things can make a person crazy.
The poop...oh how I don't miss the poop. I remember mom was so confused about what she was to use for wiping...I would walk in on her wiping with her depends..or poise pads. A couple of those were fished out of the toilet just in the nick of time. One time she used my husbands deodorant (found fecal on it) and another time she got up and used my daughters loofa glove. I sure don't miss that...but I do miss my mom.
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I not gonna fill up a lot of space today here...I gots me some shits to do's but I have to laff....My job title has shifted from materials manager to death decline n despair manager. if they only knew the skill n strength it takes...I pray for my old job (which I was growing tired of as well) much easier... I cant believe I just said that!!! hahaha

K hang in there everyone...bobbie mame sharyn. jen meanwhile..and everyone thanks for your support and patience!!!!
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Juju-my mom has a great sense of humor and that also helps when she is doing something ridiculous-we have a good laugh about it. It doesn't make her stop doing it-but we do have a good laugh! Humor-the best medicine! :)
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Good for you Jen! I am surprised your mom is letting you get rid of it all without a fight! There is nothing like cleaning out! Makes me feel great-hope it does the same for you!
Juju-yea-you have to choose your battles. I understand that it doesn't make sense...but that is the nature of the game and I am realizing that it is driving me crazy trying to figure things out (and fix it of course! I know I have to stop that Bobbie!) and coming to that conclusion that I just have to accept it and go with it. I have been here-at acceptance before...but somehow fall off the wagon all the time... But I am back on today and feeling good. Wish I could bottle this feeling and take a drink every time I get crazy...
BJ-so sorry about the pork...I have trouble with any strong smell in the morning so I can't even imagine waking up to that and the stress of possible fire etc. You poor thing! I always think that if someone craves a certain thing that maybe they have some deficiency-maybe next trip to the DR have him take bloods and check her levels of pork. HaHa...Just kidding-Pork as several of the B vitamins also Phosphorus, Magnesium, Iron & Zinc... Worth a try I guess.
Gorgeous day here again today. I love the cooler days...or should I say the "normal" weather we should be getting this time of year. The high 80s we have had have broken records.... Too hot too soon!
Sharyn-all of our resumes will look alike! And no one will want us! Oh well...Maybe we will win the lottery and never have to work (outside our homes) again... I better start playing!
Have a decent day all! Mame
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