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Still alive here...I dumped baking soda all over the floors last night and left it! Have been doing a lot of cleaning, recycling, donating, getting rid of stuff, four car loads so far, sending my dads stuff to d he can do what he wants with it. donating toys, clothes, furniture antiques just getting rid of all kinds of stuff. if it is broken fix it or toss it. if it can be used donate it, if it can be recycled do so if it is trash THROW IT THE HELL AWAY!!!! i just don't want this crap anymore ya know...Mom wont get rid of much of anything and if she complains about "all that stuff in the basement..." again I will ignore her...hack hack cough cough fp not dead. Will keep praying for it. It's all bad.... Glad to see bobbie on missin Deefer still hope you are OK. Probably swamped there too...rain, sun and errands about all here....
So I was gonna say with ma today I normally get so short and irritated with her. I like to try to let her eat on her own if she can but she (sometimes depending on food) spits things out if I don't stay with her.... I found her doing that today and told her no, don't do that, food goes in, it should not come out! as I usually do...and she sed her usual "I promise I wont do that anymore" I had been so grouchy I usually would say something back like "oh yes you will soon as I turn my back, so do not make a promise you cant keep". this time I was so relaxed with her and just simply sed "I know you will try your best so that is good enough" and she lit up like a Christmas tree and agreed with me, she still spit it out as I knew she would but who the f-cares is what I learned im only stressin us out.... seeing her reaction taught me something,,, that approach is possible only now cause what I am learning and releasing here, so THANKS EVERYONE!
Ps question with regard to spitting the food out...whe have been battling over this she has heard it hundreds of times I know why she does it, but what I wonder is.... she only does it when I am not looking or out of the room. I sometimes catch her in act she tries to hide what she is doing.. if she knows enuf to hide it, why doesn't she know enuf to not do it at all...I know is dense on my part but ??? baffles me...except my presence reminds her of the rules maybe?
Awe one of my favorite sayings is "who doesn't love bacon"!! boy that part of the country has it bad, if it isn't hurricanes on the coastal states its these twisters....I will pray for your safety. That must be so skeerryyy, I cant imagine, we get the earthquakes out this way!
Pork. I've always hated pork. That is all Mom wants to eat. She still cooks so she's up every morning cooking some kind of PORK. Sausage or bacon. Then for lunch, a pork chop. She even asks the butcher for pork livers, which totally grosses me out. The smell of pork makes me sick to my stomach. I rarely eat meat but pork especially bothers me. Two days ago she made four large sausage biscuits and ate every one of them. Yet she's skinny and losing weight. I know we are supposed to let them eat what they want but I am SO tired of my house constantly smelling like pork. That is the first thing I smell when I wake up as she beats me up and starts cooking. Afraid to stay in bed because she starts fires in the kitchen. And ... she takes the batteries out of the smoke alarm near the kitchen because she 'doesn't like to hear that noise' ... so I can't rely on the smoke detector. I replace those batteries at least three times a week.
Something new the past two weeks: she's starting to repeat everything I say. Does this happen to anyone else? Also, driving along she makes up outrageous stories about people who near us as we pass their house. She will say ..."that woman who lives there goes to the bar and drinks all the time" and she doesn't even know the woman. She's not being funny, she says it like it's a fact.
We have been dodging tornadoes for two weeks. Had to seek shelter last Friday night and it was a miracle I got her down into the storm shelter. Mom is 7 inches taller than me and outweighs me by 20 lbs.
It started out with that email but has turned into a great day! I am relieved, I believe that was causing me a lot of stress...having someone I was not happy with, is that worse than not having someone I wonder, idk I don't intend to find out, I got someone for interview already.
I had a personal breakthrough with mom again, I handled one of my pet peives with her in a completely different manner than I usually did and it turned into a nice lesson instead. It was another wonderful experience with her of pure love n joy we both felt!!!
Mame~I did get over for some years after I had my children...but it has come back with a vengeance now as I have gotten older. Things to put on a resume....I have established the skill of changing an adults depends with one hand while changing the sheets with the other. My skills of juggling the finances has been enlightening, they may not get paid on time, but they do get paid. My record keeping skills include....daily records of my elder's med routine, receipts that I wrote out myself because of businesses that would not give me a receipt since it is not their usual practice (I had this happen last week), I can multitask cooking meals while walking a dog, doing laundry, and instructing paid caregivers to give my elder a shower, wash their hair and put on clean clothes. U have had the pleasure of cleaning up blood, vomit, pee, poop, and investigating where all the little pills on clothing came from when I take it out of dryer only to discover it's from the poise pad my elder left on their panties. Then I re-wash and dry the clothes, LOL!! Yes, I love my job!!
Its amazing what we can tolerate, the poop is no problem for me...it is when she hocks one up and wipes it somewhere's which I surely will unwittingly stick my hand in when I go to help her with something I am done!... it is slimy stuff for me, cutting up a chicken or runny egg whites on a plate will literally bring up the coffee!
Wow, dryfuss....I have a low threshold on my gag reflex...the last time I took mom to the dr., she kept taking out her partial plate, I would start to gag. I know she can't help it because of the Alzheimer's. I have always been a cat person. Cats just always worked better for my lifestyle because they are not as needy and people dependent as dogs. Now I walk my mom's dog and have to clean up after it, again...I gag as I put on my glove and pick up dog poop in a plastic bag, LOL!! I would not do this for anyone else except a family loved one, but oh is it hard!!
Yesterday my mother didn't use her diaper and some of her "excrement" fell onto the carpet. My senile father wiped it up with a dishrag and then put it back on the kitchen sink.
oh gosh...this has turned into a pissing match this morning with the CGvr.. She wrote a somewhat nasty email in her resignation...so I counterpointed a few things which i shouldn't have even bothered with... I have let it go now, but it has got me a bit frazzled...what a way to start the week, huh? Just let it roll off your back, Juju!!!
Bobbie i love your statement "If you free yourself up from the trying to 'fix' it, you might have enough energy to change it". thanks for that yesterday and now...very helpful!!
CGvr-I couldn't leave her here with ma, cuz she would just give her a bath and that is it...she has to be fed all the other chores...i give her something to do and when done she sit down n text, so i call her to start another and so on and on and on! you would think after years of doing these chores she would figure out how to do it herself! anyway she is good with ma n punctual, and knows our home n routine well. So i let it go..and actually enjoyed the company!! but to this day i will always wonder if she had phone out when ma fell... I haven't been able to let that one go and have been hypercritical ever since "classic P/A behavior" on my part! So I will start over with someone new!
Mame! Glad it brought a little help. If you free yourself up from the trying to 'fix' it, you might have enough energy to change it. There are many reasons to change the situation whether they be financial or emotional or whatever. Love you Mame.
Juju, that sux that the cg just quit. hope you cope ok. Hope also that you can call in more help in the house so you are not buried in it. You too Mame!
I know that if I was caregiving and there were other people around they would get a SooPrize. Take advantage when there are other people Mame! Don't ask; Tell! haha. Say: 'This is how this is going to blow down' and tell them what's going to happen and then stick by it. If it's an afternoon so you can go to the movies, then Tell whomever that they are staying home. You can't do it all.
Take mini vacations of a few hours every day and if you do it often enough you won't feel as bad about the crap at home because you know you will be getting out again in a day. Someone has to step up and help you with this insanity or what's the point of having all of these people in your life? So you can only do what they want?
Cats, he is poopin n peeing everywhere, he is old...and yup his box was full so he was letting me know I was slipping! hahaha reminds me tho once I caught him...we were redo'ing a bathroom and the toilet was off, being replaced, I I caught him peeing down the pipe where it used to be, how he figured that out idk....sure was funny!
Caregiver, ya she is sweet good with ma and punctual, I can trust her theft wise, etc.... but young, just doesn't have her heart in the job, cell phone always out, and mom fell when she was taking care of her...that was the last issue I amost fired her right then but stupid social worker talked me out of it, sed it was not right way to do it! So we fell back into our routine and now she quits with no notice ! all for the better i do believe but frustrating! I don't think i would have been able to start a new person out properly till now anyway now that i am beginning to getting my kick ass and take names self back!
Mame thanks and hang in there....it is dark lonely place we live!
Sorry you lost your caregiver help Juju. Hope you can find somebody soon. Every little bit someone else can do for you helps a ton! Too bad so many either can't be relied upon to come on time or even show up some days or they quit... Good luck.
Thanks Bobbie, Sharyn and Juju. Bobbie-thank you for sharing your way of looking at things. Most often-it doesn't occur to me to see things a different way-probably why I am beating my head against a wall all the time! (And so unhappy!) I always said my dad had blinders on and could only see things one way-I thought I was more open minded-but I see I have more blinds to open!! When you wrote "I submit that there is no why. There is no reason whatsoever. It just is" it was a shock but also a relief. Cause you are right-it makes no sense and is so unjust. All my life I have wanted to fight things that aren't fair-and have been in counseling for years trying to figure out why I just can't roll with the punches...just go with it... And in this caregiving life-I really need to just go with it....fighting it-altho just in my head really-is killing me. I just need to let go of they questioning and roll with it. Cause it is what it is-and as you said Juju-the outcome eventually is death. There is no fixing this. No making her better or getting "her" back. And, the end will come when it comes. So often I read little quotes about changing your attitude or positive thinking...and I can do it for a little while but seem to fall back in the negative too soon. It takes a lot of energy which I don't have at the moment. I will just keep plugging along and I appreciate all of you who are going through or have gone through this sharing and helping me out! On a good note, mom took a 2 hour nap yesterday and I got out in the garden and weeded. I mentally felt so much better after. I really felt like I was insane yesterday. After a swetty 89degrees yesterday, we are down in the 50's today! I have a sweatshirt on! No AC needed today! Cat story-one time-apparently the cat didn't think the litter box was clean enough. I went in to the bathroom to pee and the cat followed me and jumped in the bathtub. (strange) He looked right at me and peed! It was the funniest thing! I guess it was his only way of letting me know I needed to change the cat box since they can't talk! Glad I didn't go in the bedroom or he may have peed on my bedspread! Again-thanks all. Talk to you soon. Mame
well F$%#K I woke up to message my 5+yr cg/bather, just quit! Wont be here tomorrow. We been having issues, I wanted to get someone else but haven't had the energy, so I guess it is a favor but that is crappy way to do it!
I just have to say bob..yes I think that too. although I want to do this outta love for my mother. I sometimes find my self angry..why...why should have sacrificed myself to clean up a mess I was born into...but did not create! It is not my problem that they could not plan for the future! Now their nitemare is my nitemare...my future is in jeopardy..i don't have a child or any family for that matter, to do this same task for me!! I feel I am trying to create this happy family and home that I could never had before! But It is fruitless...in the end she is dead and I will be ???? I should be saving my own ass and screw this!!!
Yes the depression is a killer in this...cant even tie your shoes some day, it makes one feel inferior to the world! It is impossible to move forward in a depressed state. I have noticed also which is horrible, although I know when I am depressed, I kinda battle the I cant with the you know betters, and that also makes it hard but I also cant see or feel the damage of it till I am coming out of it and that realization is depressing in of itself...the mess you create... This was a long long dark spell and created a damn mess, financially...prior it was only small spells and not bad, just kinda wow I sure couldn't concentrate or be happy for a bit whew, glad that over!!!
And thanks mom n dad for that genetic bonus!!! The battle of the blues!! It makes me laff to say I am probably the highest functioning in my family beside ma in her day! I see ma in me and dad... I do live in this fear that I might become as sick as them one day...guess why I feel I am being judged all the time, I guess I am doing the judging...idk... I don't wanna sound like a rosy eyed nut..but I have to take the lessons this has taught me and hold onto or I would have absolutely nothing positive to hold on to at all....I have learned to be a better compassionate human being, I am learning to forgive rather than question/agonize over something. I value that!!! I could say o whole page here of things ive learned but I wont!!! OK Everyone thanks and hang in there...
Well said Bobbie! There have been things I have gone through and it wasn't until I got through the other side that I could see where I personally needed to change how I react. I took that to mean...that was my lesson. However, not every situation has a reason, it is just life happening around us. We get through it the best we can, doing the best we can. A village task force!! Take care.
Juju, At least you weren't under the bedspread. This Cat, Able Seacat First Class, Clawshank the Decimator, peed on ME, the little f%cker. About a year and a half ago while finishing up at my mom's house. Damn.
Juju, keep writing it out. Not only is it good for you but it's good for others as well.
msdaizy! ok, warn me when you are about to go HA (hardass). That sounds a lot like a nuclear pile going critical.
Mame!! avoid the hole! I get that you question why.
I submit that there is no why. There is no reason whatsoever. It just is. Some say, things happen for a reason- and whatever comforts them works for me.
Personally, I don't think that there's a reason for most things (chaos theory) and that has brought me a lot of comfort. Instead of wondering what lessons I have to learn or what this situation means, I just try my best to accept what it is and bring about positive change wherever I can. So if the situation sucks I can figure my way out of it. If it sucks, it sucks and screw the imaginary lessons, IMHO. What can we do to make this better?
The more depressed we are the less change we can cause to happen and that's what drives us deeper into depression.
I don't think of myself as a sinner or deserving of guilt or any of that other negative stuff. I just am.
When I was caregiving mom at one time I was so angry that I saw myself spitting in her open grave. I couldn't justify the crap I had had to deal with between my mom and her sister and now this?? After getting done wrong now I am doing this?
That 'spitting' image would float before my eyes every once in awhile and I would not care and I didn't feel any guilt. I still don't.
All that was was my resentment and anger manifesting itself in fantasy. It never happened and when my mom died and we lowered her into her grave I sobbed my eyes out because I loved her and had loved her all along, no matter what. She knew it too and I knew that she loved me.
But, I wasn't going to feel guilty for being human. Not one shred. My mom got treated like a queen but I almost killed myself.
See, that's why we question and we become angry and we get resentful. We know it's not right. It's not just.
I hate to beat a dead horse here, but I think we need to be reminded that we have to get help and lots of it. Caregivers need respite and a lot of it and it takes a damn village to care for people.
Oh Mame- I couldn't agree with you more if I had sed it myself! I love this place! but getting out in the sun today....I have sed enuf for a while, lol.... I know your all going "halleleujuh she is gonna shut up" just kidding but ???
FUN FACT: Getting angry at the sound of someone chewing or breathing is an actual brain disorder "Misophonia"
OK, trying to stay out of the black hole here. Just seems nothing is going right. UGH. I am questioning (God) the reasons a demented 87 year old lady is still living. What does she need to learn-or am I supposed to be learning from her? Or is it my siblings that need to learn something? What is the value of a life so sad/old/never going to get better/hopeless? There is a reason for all this right? Feeling rather low and without purpose...no light at the end of the tunnel. At least raising children you know they will grow up... I am sure most of you get to this place at times. And, when she does die-how horrible am I going to feel for feeling this way now? And, am I going to miss her? And wish I had her back and be mad at the time I wasted wishing things were different? I already miss who she was. But I can't imagine missing the dementia and caregiving. Ugh.
Got out yesterday to our local field days to see the parade with my 8yr old niece. Was so nice to be out in the world. Hubby just asked me-"do you ever notice that the day after you have gotten out you are extremely unhappy about your life?" Yea, honey, I get that....I had that taste of freedom and companionship and seeing new things.... And now, I realize what I push down and try to forget about on a daily basis so I don't go insane....and it makes me angry and depressed! I should be happy I got out. And I am-it was fun. But it does make this harder to deal with at times. Juju-I am soooo sorry about your dog. What a horrible story. I had to read it to my husband. And to prove to you all I am going insane, I laughed the whole time I was reading it that my eyes were watering! You are right-you cannot make that up... Sorry about your bird too. omg. And sorry to you too Sharynmarie about the squirrel... So sad. Meanwhile-I was shaking my head at your stepdad at 80 on the roof-but I have a neighbor who is 89 and still climbs the ladders to clean gutters etc. He is so independent and will not let anyone else do it! Crazy! Jen-hopefully fp will let you open the windows to get the fire/smoke smells out and you can get rid of a little of his stink too???? The teacups thing reminded me of something I saw a pic of and am going to do. I somehow accumulated a lot of tea pots over the years. I am going to put dirt in them and flowers and then find some sort of strong string or fishing wire and hang them around my deck....(I think the string goes thru the spout and around the handle somehow) The pic I saw had them hanging on a railing going down a long staircase outside and it was really pretty. I thought I could hang them all different lengths to make it look cool. Maybe I will put pansy's in them. Anyway....thanks for being here for me. Needed it today for sure! Mame
Sharyn- was thinking of a project maybe for those tea cups, I have got my eye on....collecting old tecup sets and making candles..just float a wick and a lil wax and Voila kinda nice to maybe distribute among family and bonding project...idk just a thought...egad I cant sleep again! k roger that. over n out!
Gah juju you have had some serious bad luck with critters there!
mom was making fp dinner tonight and started a fire in the micro wave...whole house still reeks of smoke...God we are getting to a real real bad place here I think....
Thanks you guys! I know overall I am ok, accidents happen....it was just you don't expect it in the bathroom...and all the blood. It was more PTSD than any guilt it think... I mean hit by a car makes odd sense but...anyway.... But guilt..oh that's the time I boiled ma's cockatiel..1984..she gave it to me to train for her and I had him on my shoulder while I was cooking...he spooked and flew strait into range hood and plopped in a pot of boiling water like going down a slide. I actually scooped him out damn quick but didn't know what to do with him so he suffered for a while! We can laff now but poor guy...demised by a pot of spaghetti noodles!! I am serious you cant make this stuff up, lol!!!
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APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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Glad to see bobbie on missin Deefer still hope you are OK. Probably swamped there too...rain, sun and errands about all here....
seeing her reaction taught me something,,,
that approach is possible only now cause what I am learning and releasing here, so THANKS EVERYONE!
Ps question with regard to spitting the food out...whe have been battling over this she has heard it hundreds of times I know why she does it, but what I wonder is.... she only does it when I am not looking or out of the room. I sometimes catch her in act she tries to hide what she is doing.. if she knows enuf to hide it, why doesn't she know enuf to not do it at all...I know is dense on my part but ??? baffles me...except my presence reminds her of the rules maybe?
boy that part of the country has it bad, if it isn't hurricanes on the coastal states its these twisters....I will pray for your safety. That must be so skeerryyy, I cant imagine, we get the earthquakes out this way!
Something new the past two weeks: she's starting to repeat everything I say. Does this happen to anyone else? Also, driving along she makes up outrageous stories about people who near us as we pass their house. She will say ..."that woman who lives there goes to the bar and drinks all the time" and she doesn't even know the woman. She's not being funny, she says it like it's a fact.
We have been dodging tornadoes for two weeks. Had to seek shelter last Friday night and it was a miracle I got her down into the storm shelter. Mom is 7 inches taller than me and outweighs me by 20 lbs.
It started out with that email but has turned into a great day!
I am relieved, I believe that was causing me a lot of stress...having someone I was not happy with, is that worse than not having someone I wonder, idk I don't intend to find out, I got someone for interview already.
I had a personal breakthrough with mom again, I handled one of my pet peives with her in a completely different manner than I usually did and it turned into a nice lesson instead. It was another wonderful experience with her of pure love n joy we both felt!!!
hugs!
i love your statement "If you free yourself up from the trying to 'fix' it, you might have enough energy to change it".
thanks for that yesterday and now...very helpful!!
Glad it brought a little help.
If you free yourself up from the trying to 'fix' it, you might have enough energy to change it.
There are many reasons to change the situation whether they be financial or emotional or whatever.
Love you Mame.
Juju, that sux that the cg just quit. hope you cope ok. Hope also that you can call in more help in the house so you are not buried in it.
You too Mame!
I know that if I was caregiving and there were other people around they would get a SooPrize. Take advantage when there are other people Mame!
Don't ask; Tell! haha. Say: 'This is how this is going to blow down' and tell them what's going to happen and then stick by it.
If it's an afternoon so you can go to the movies, then Tell whomever that they are staying home.
You can't do it all.
Take mini vacations of a few hours every day and if you do it often enough you won't feel as bad about the crap at home because you know you will be getting out again in a day. Someone has to step up and help you with this insanity or what's the point of having all of these people in your life? So you can only do what they want?
OK, I will shut up.
Love you guys.
lovbob
Caregiver, ya she is sweet good with ma and punctual, I can trust her theft wise, etc.... but young, just doesn't have her heart in the job, cell phone always out, and mom fell when she was taking care of her...that was the last issue I amost fired her right then but stupid social worker talked me out of it, sed it was not right way to do it! So we fell back into our routine and now she quits with no notice ! all for the better i do believe but frustrating! I don't think i would have been able to start a new person out properly till now anyway now that i am beginning to getting my kick ass and take names self back!
Mame thanks and hang in there....it is dark lonely place we live!
On a good note, mom took a 2 hour nap yesterday and I got out in the garden and weeded. I mentally felt so much better after. I really felt like I was insane yesterday. After a swetty 89degrees yesterday, we are down in the 50's today! I have a sweatshirt on! No AC needed today!
Cat story-one time-apparently the cat didn't think the litter box was clean enough. I went in to the bathroom to pee and the cat followed me and jumped in the bathtub. (strange) He looked right at me and peed! It was the funniest thing! I guess it was his only way of letting me know I needed to change the cat box since they can't talk! Glad I didn't go in the bedroom or he may have peed on my bedspread!
Again-thanks all. Talk to you soon. Mame
Yes the depression is a killer in this...cant even tie your shoes some day, it makes one feel inferior to the world! It is impossible to move forward in a depressed state. I have noticed also which is horrible, although I know when I am depressed, I kinda battle the I cant with the you know betters, and that also makes it hard but I also cant see or feel the damage of it till I am coming out of it and that realization is depressing in of itself...the mess you create... This was a long long dark spell and created a damn mess, financially...prior it was only small spells and not bad, just kinda wow I sure couldn't concentrate or be happy for a bit whew, glad that over!!!
And thanks mom n dad for that genetic bonus!!! The battle of the blues!! It makes me laff to say I am probably the highest functioning in my family beside ma in her day! I see ma in me and dad... I do live in this fear that I might become as sick as them one day...guess why I feel I am being judged all the time, I guess I am doing the judging...idk...
I don't wanna sound like a rosy eyed nut..but I have to take the lessons this has taught me and hold onto or I would have absolutely nothing positive to hold on to at all....I have learned to be a better compassionate human being, I am learning to forgive rather than question/agonize over something. I value that!!! I could say o whole page here of things ive learned but I wont!!!
OK Everyone thanks and hang in there...
Juju, At least you weren't under the bedspread. This Cat, Able Seacat First Class, Clawshank the Decimator, peed on ME, the little f%cker.
About a year and a half ago while finishing up at my mom's house. Damn.
Juju, keep writing it out. Not only is it good for you but it's good for others as well.
msdaizy! ok, warn me when you are about to go HA (hardass). That sounds a lot like a nuclear pile going critical.
Mame!! avoid the hole!
I get that you question why.
I submit that there is no why. There is no reason whatsoever. It just is.
Some say, things happen for a reason- and whatever comforts them works for me.
Personally, I don't think that there's a reason for most things (chaos theory) and that has brought me a lot of comfort. Instead of wondering what lessons I have to learn or what this situation means, I just try my best to accept what it is and bring about positive change wherever I can. So if the situation sucks I can figure my way out of it.
If it sucks, it sucks and screw the imaginary lessons, IMHO.
What can we do to make this better?
The more depressed we are the less change we can cause to happen and that's what drives us deeper into depression.
I don't think of myself as a sinner or deserving of guilt or any of that other negative stuff. I just am.
When I was caregiving mom at one time I was so angry that I saw myself spitting in her open grave.
I couldn't justify the crap I had had to deal with between my mom and her sister and now this?? After getting done wrong now I am doing this?
That 'spitting' image would float before my eyes every once in awhile and I would not care and I didn't feel any guilt. I still don't.
All that was was my resentment and anger manifesting itself in fantasy. It never happened and when my mom died and we lowered her into her grave I sobbed my eyes out because I loved her and had loved her all along, no matter what.
She knew it too and I knew that she loved me.
But, I wasn't going to feel guilty for being human. Not one shred.
My mom got treated like a queen but I almost killed myself.
See, that's why we question and we become angry and we get resentful. We know it's not right. It's not just.
I hate to beat a dead horse here, but I think we need to be reminded that we have to get help and lots of it. Caregivers need respite and a lot of it and it takes a damn village to care for people.
We need a task force....
lovbob
I know your all going "halleleujuh she is gonna shut up" just kidding but ???
FUN FACT: Getting angry at the sound of someone chewing or breathing is an actual brain disorder "Misophonia"
Have a great Sun-day of rest??!!!
Got out yesterday to our local field days to see the parade with my 8yr old niece. Was so nice to be out in the world. Hubby just asked me-"do you ever notice that the day after you have gotten out you are extremely unhappy about your life?" Yea, honey, I get that....I had that taste of freedom and companionship and seeing new things.... And now, I realize what I push down and try to forget about on a daily basis so I don't go insane....and it makes me angry and depressed! I should be happy I got out. And I am-it was fun. But it does make this harder to deal with at times.
Juju-I am soooo sorry about your dog. What a horrible story. I had to read it to my husband. And to prove to you all I am going insane, I laughed the whole time I was reading it that my eyes were watering! You are right-you cannot make that up... Sorry about your bird too. omg. And sorry to you too Sharynmarie about the squirrel... So sad.
Meanwhile-I was shaking my head at your stepdad at 80 on the roof-but I have a neighbor who is 89 and still climbs the ladders to clean gutters etc. He is so independent and will not let anyone else do it! Crazy!
Jen-hopefully fp will let you open the windows to get the fire/smoke smells out and you can get rid of a little of his stink too????
The teacups thing reminded me of something I saw a pic of and am going to do. I somehow accumulated a lot of tea pots over the years. I am going to put dirt in them and flowers and then find some sort of strong string or fishing wire and hang them around my deck....(I think the string goes thru the spout and around the handle somehow) The pic I saw had them hanging on a railing going down a long staircase outside and it was really pretty. I thought I could hang them all different lengths to make it look cool. Maybe I will put pansy's in them. Anyway....thanks for being here for me. Needed it today for sure! Mame
mom was making fp dinner tonight and started a fire in the micro wave...whole house still reeks of smoke...God we are getting to a real real bad place here I think....
But guilt..oh that's the time I boiled ma's cockatiel..1984..she gave it to me to train for her and I had him on my shoulder while I was cooking...he spooked and flew strait into range hood and plopped in a pot of boiling water like going down a slide. I actually scooped him out damn quick but didn't know what to do with him so he suffered for a while! We can laff now but poor guy...demised by a pot of spaghetti noodles!! I am serious you cant make this stuff up, lol!!!
g-nite
Juju