Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

we all need to vent i have been doing it to my husband but i can tell you now that i have found this form and know others are having the same issue i'll try not to gross him out so much..haha he's so sweet and has been living without me for 2 1/2 years as i take care of mother.what a saint but i know he'd go nuts here,hes only good for a few hours so i can shop and stuff.

i caught my mom doing the same thing,and we have our own bathrooms.so i bought a whole bunch of brushes just in case.i pick my battles too,the food thing wirh the fingersand the other day she just threw her ice on the floor and spit the grapes out too.we have light carpet...now we have spotted carpet i've shampoo it every few months till it won't come clean anymore but i will not replace it now.She also talks to her lamp and is now have poopy pants almost daily,pretty gross but i am doing ok most of the time,however there are those days like today 3 and one was on the floor right after i had washed her up and alls she would have had to do was sit down to deposit it in the can.that was really gross.

Well MIL is doing great. Up and walking around already. My brother not so good. He has to have a quad bypass wednesday 8:00am. They won't even give him his pants so he can leave. Going to monitor him til then. He's really bummed now but I told him at least he will be around awhile longer now so quit your complaining. He tried to slap me but even though I'm older doesn't mean I still can't move fast. Hugs to everyone and thanx for the support.
luvCuz

Yay Broccoli, Boo Asparagus...Is that wrong?

Mame: Glad your mom enjoyed the full moon. How funny. Ignore your sister-in-law, she's just resentful that her sibs don't help her. That's not your fault or your mom's fault. That final episode of Downton Abbey was a shocker.

Diane: I'm glad Hospice is being so helpful. You sure deserve the help. As for the elk, it's a crying shame. Our little band of Bull elk are still around. It's the female elk that have been slaughtered. I'm sure many of them were pregnant and would have calved in June. They usually come over on our side of the highway to have their babies. The highway is a kind of demarcation line. North of the highway, water is abundant and there are beautiful farms On our side of the highway, water is more scarce and the land more hilly and rocky, so no farming. The female elk have caused some damage to the farms and their crops so Fish and Wildlife (in a very covert fashion) began killing the females and have reduced the herd to about 20 from the previous count of 40 or so. Some years ago, about a year before Warren & I moved here, they reduced the herd size from 100 to 50. It's really sad. I feel for the farmers, but I feel for the elk too. We just love them and it heartbreaking to see this happen. The herd is so small now, that I doubt it is genetically viable. I will be talking to Fish and Wildlife because I am fearful that they will be hunting on our side of the highway next. They had stopped hunting here a few years ago in the hope that the elk would view south of the highway as a safe area and stay here. Plus, most of us on the south side wanted the elk here. There is no sport to elk hunting here. They are so use to people taking their pictures and stopping in cars to look at them. It's so uplifting to see them. Just takes your breath away.

Cuz, keeping your family in my prayers.

Everyone take care. Cat

Hey cuz-sorry for everything you and yours are going through! Hubby had the cath thru the wrist and all went well. He did say it felt wierd! Bro in law also had it and the stint put in and is doing well these days. He says he actually feels better and has more energy! Hope it all goes well for your bro!
Second time we had a family get together in two weeks and sil will speak civilly to me if asked a question, but nothing more. The bro I sent the email to is being sweet and kissing me hello and goodbye and making conversation. The email was to HIM not HER and I really cannot understand why she has cut me off. I have tried to come up with a reason but none of it fits... and I do not believe it is for her to tell me what I can and cannot say to my own brother (s). Ugh. Drama. Like I previously mentioned-there will be no more emails or phone calls to the 4 of the bros who have dismissed our mother as fine, or being taken care of...or whatever. But being fresh, these first few family get togethers have been a bit wierd.
Anyway-I got mom out for both Easter and yesterday for one of my bros Bdays! His gf had a little party for him. He is always here for me & mom so I had to get her there. She was about to say no yesterday when I reminded her how much he does for us and she bucked up and said that we should do this for him. All the way there she kept saying-"Now, where are we going?" or "Now, who's birtrhday is it?" She faked it well when she got there. She did keep asking my sis where we were. Bro let her read all the cards and one had a man who showed a full moon if you know what I mean-and she kept looking at it and laughing! We all got a kick out of our "prim & proper" mother-checking out the full moon man!
Well, hello to all. It is Monday...
Mom returns to day care this week! The snow seems to be gone, my knee is better so I think I can get her in and out on my own. She says she is looking forward to it...haha...but we will see how hard she tries to fight going...I see terrible headaches coming on! haha. We will start this week with one day and work back up to two. :)
OH-Bobbie, I have now watched all three seasons of Downton Abbey...omg season 3! Now I know why you were asking previously what we thought. Not expected that is for sure! Not really happy but we will see what next season brings right?
Keep on keepin on everybody! Mame

Cuz: Sending you and your family my best wishes for a happy outcome. So hard for each of them to deal with the reality of their issues. Hope your brother has a good outcome this Tuesday. Thanks for the jokes. You rock.!!!!!

Sharynmarie: I really appreciate the loss you feel over the religious differences. My heart goes out to you.

FYI, bobby, I roasted a chicken tonight, added mashed potatoes and broccoli. My whole house smelled of chicken in the oven. It was a great dinner and we all loved the smell of the chicken cooking. The dogs really loved it. They scarfed up on chicken and broccoli. Got some broccoli for their breakfast. They just love broccoli.

We have a Kingdom Hall 1/2 a mile from our street. I just don't answer the door. Cat, I agree, there are good and bad in all religions.

The Winter Boots
(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this)

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her
reception class pupils put on his boots?

He asked for help and she could see why.
Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots
still didn't want to go on.
By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher,
they're on the wrong feet.'
She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was
putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet.
He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'
She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and
scream, 'Why didn't you say so? ' like she wanted to.
Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting
boots off his little feet.
No sooner had they got the boots off when he said,
'They're my brother's boots. My Mum made me wear 'em.'

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry.

But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'

He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'

She will be eligible for parole in three years.

Mother Superior was on her way to late morning prayers when she passed two novices just leaving early morning prayers on their way to classes. As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, "Good morning Sisters."

The novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior, may God be with you."
But after they had passed, Mother Superior heard one say to the other, "I think she got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

This startled Mother Superior, but she chose not to pursue the issue. A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed two of the Sisters who
Had been teaching at the convent for several years. She greeted them with "Good morning Sister Martha, Sister Jessica, may God give you the wisdom for our students today."

"Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you and may God be with you."
But again after passing, Mother Superior overheard, "She got up on the wrong side of the bed today."


Baffled, she started to wonder if she had spoken harshly or with an irritated look on her face. She vowed to be more pleasant. Looking down the hall, Mother Superior saw retired Sister Mary approaching, step by step, with her walker. As Sister Mary was rather deaf, Mother Superior had plenty of time to arrange a
Pleasant smile on her face before greeting Sister Mary.

"Good morning, Sister Mary, I'm so happy to see you up and about. I pray God watches over you today, and grants you a wonderful day."

"Ah, good morning, Mother Superior, I see you got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

Mother Superior was floored! "Sister Mary, what have I done wrong?" I have tried to be pleasant but three times already today people have said that about me."

Sister Mary stopped her walker and looked Mother Superior in the face. "Oh, don't take it personally, Mother Superior. It's just that you're wearing Father Murphy's slippers."

Hey gals. The MIL is back her assisted living but is in the rehab unit. She is doing real well accept for having trouble trying to pee. I guess when it took 4 diferent nurses over a period of 2 hours to get a cath in she is a little sore right now and it hurts to pee. If she can get it started. She might be 95 but she was letting everybody know that her who who hurt. They are going to get her up and walking tommorrow slowly but surely. Doc doesn't want her just laying in bed or sitting in a chair all day. I will let you know about my brother when I find out what goes on tommorrow morning early again. Thanks for the concerns. Hugs to you.
luvCuz

Hi Y'all,
Cuz, when my BF had his heart attack he never had chest pain but was puking. Please keep checking on your brother. I will keep him in my prayers for his health and to find the idiot that smashed his truck. Very happy to hear MIL is doing so well. Lildeb, the hsopice nurse told me that Carnation Instant Breakfast has the same nutritional value as Ensure and is much less expensive. They even make a sugar free type for diabetics.
I only have my own experience with hospice to go by, but they have been terrific. Yes, they do not provide life extending care, but they don't do anything to expedite it either. For example mom still takes her coumadin and HBP medicine. To make her comfortable they give her pain meds including morphine. They did not force me to sign a DNR. It was a decision my brother, sister and I made together. Cat did those crazy politicians stop killing the elk or are they still thinning the herd? It was heartbreaking to hear about the situation. I need to get mom changed and give her the last of her meds. She actually ate some ground up pot roast, potatoes and carrots tonight . Everyone have a good week and sending you all love and hugs.

Fat and disheveled did work too. I had doors open doing spring cleaning in my slip and passed the door as a JW lady came up to Proselytize...she had a baby in a stroller...she got onto the spiel,me sweaty and carrying cleaning stuff just smile and nod and wish shed go away. Asked me if I cleaned houses for living..."No." yeah I go door to door in a slip and clean peoples homes...Gah get off my porch. I agree don't do any religion either bobbie, I am an equal opportunity disdain-er. I made a sign that says No soliciting no Proselytizing thank you and it has shut off everyone EXCEPT two very determined young Mormon boys who said they read the sign but asked it there was anything they could do for me, like any jobs or such?...I said no but you know we could have had em pull some weeds I guess...but that just be an opener...

On the Hospice misinformation...They did get let down there D, that really is not fair for people, worried, needing help and getting not what they think. Like who reads the small print in an emergency?

OK cuz has reached the hassle limit! no more crap can happen there till June...

Have a good weekend how ever you can. Here everyone's cold seems to be over and I never caught it, that's a plus there...Now, if I can only win the lotto. jen

Cuz, hope all goes well for your brother. Must be scary. Bobbi, you are too funny. I used to have a big part collie dog. When she was just a pup the JW stopped by, a couple of ladies in nice dresses. Pup, had been playing in the mud, and jumped all over them with muddy feet. I maybe, sort of, took my time getting the pup corralled? They never came back. (I'm going to hell).
Ahh, bruised my heel. Slipped trying to get on Omaha, which scared him, and he jumped. I need to be more careful. I forget I'm not 17 anymore, and he is really just green broke.
Deb, so glad to hear you got a break.
Going to take a couple of Aleve, and go to bed.

Hey gals. MIL is coming home tommorrow. She goes into the rehab unit until she can walk alittle better. Saw her today and she was doing great. Not bad for being 95 huh? My brother just about had a heart attack this morning. At 3:30am a drunk took the front end of his pickup off which was parked in his drive way and then left.
They think they know who it was but cops can't find him. My brother was so stressed out that his chest was hurting and he puucked his guts out. Called him toight to see how he was doing and he said ok, no chest pains. Cops haven't called him yet about the drunk guy. He said he was still worried about the heart cath thing next monday. I told him he has no reason to worry BUT he remembers what happened to a good friend of ours who had the cath done ih her arm and was dead five minutes later. All you can do is think positive and hope for good results.
Hugs to everyone.
luvCuz

Mashed potatoes, chicken and broccoli sure does sound good!!!!

Lildeb, so glad you got that wonderful break. You sure deserved it, plus you absolutely needed the time off. Take good care of yourself.

Hugs, Cat

Hey there Cat, wasn't going down that road at all and I know you weren't doing that. I just was remembering that lady that posted with us but can't remember her name. Maybe someone here can.

The Saturday I answered the door naked was the 3rd Saturday at 8 in the morning they had awakened me and I asked nicely the first 2 times. They kept waking me up and I sleep in the raw so there you have it. Besides, I was around 27 and hot. YeeHaw.
They didn't come back haha.

lildeb, have heard of the coconut oil thing but don't know if it works or not. Maybe some others have info on that.

OK, carved caulk out of a window, a shroud plate and the base of the aft mast. Now sitting here fresh out of the shower blinking at the computer screen.

Going to make mashed potatoes and chicken and broccoli. Already ate all the Oreos.

Later guys,

lovbob

Bobbie, The joy of being a caregiver. I have thought about sewing every pocket my mil has for she puts used nasty poo paper n food n her pockets too. She can be very cleaver about hiding the used toilet paper but cannot manage to throw it in the toilet bowl. Go figure?
Of course, that is a great pointer that u learned from 'trial n error' with the macaroni, for it stays better in a spoon. Thanks. A lot of what we learn is from a book but a lot is from the 'trail n error' part. I hope u r doing okay?

I just got back yesterday from almost a whole wk break. Much needed too. I did have a very hard time making myself to come back. Not to mention not turning around but hubby has been trying somewhat. He even wash the Love bug guts off my car today. I like to fell out! I think he may have helped me washed it one time n he actually washed it all by himself. Plus, he had picked a variety of flowers from the yard for me. Of course, he forgot his mom had a fasting lab work n x-ray appt for Friday but at least he got her to the Geriatric dr's appt, for Wednesday. I will have to reschedule her lab n probable her 2 wk follow up appt from the lab n x-ray. Oh well, at least I got some much needed rest n at least he did try to help out.
Hey Pamela & Nancy; Yes, others have had much worse experience which sometimes give us a little tips or two. We learn as we go n it great to have a sense of humor when possible. ; )
Book, how r u doing?
Kellybean, I know it sounds sad that, sometimes r comfort is knowing that we r not alone. However, it is the truth n we also learn from other as well. Hey, nothing wrong feeding her cat a little butter, who knows it may get rid of hairballs? lol. Gotta luv it. Hang in their n I keep telling myself to "not sweat the small stuff," but it is hard.
mizunderstanding, I make sure now my mil dishes be placed in the sink when she is done. We never eat from the same container ourselves either for it's one of those lesson learned like u mention about where the fingers may have been. We just have to make sure we don't get sick our-selves in the process of care-giving or crazy too.

Anyone hear about the 'Coconut Oil' that Dr. Mary Newport is using on her husband whose has Alzheimer's disease? It was in the in the Ocala Star Banner newspaper. While I was down their, people were buying it left n right. I'm still a little hesitant about it for like my mil, she does real good during a certain time but early in Am n late in PM she has the most challenge times. I like to see more testing in that area at the Byrd Institute at USF.
Well, gotta go stock up on the Ensure n grocery. I hope everyone is having a nice day.

There are wonderful people in every religion. Didn't mean to pick on the JW as "a people". Just venting on the monthly visitation we have gotten for the past 9 years. I'm never rude to them, just say nicely that I'm not interested. Maybe next time they come and I will ask them to pass the word to their various recruiters to skip our place. Hate to have to do the naked thing.

I was getting ready to go outside and I remembered a lady who wrote on this thread who was JW and she was wonderful. Was a great voice and funny and supportive of us all.

This is why it's hard to bring up religion because for me, all religions suck but not all people who belong to those religions suck.

I did answer the door naked though and that's the truth.
I said: I'd like to buy the Watchtower for 45 cents but I got no.... pockets.

That was back when I was cute and could get away with that. Now they would just say: You got enough of a pocket in that roll to tuck in some twenties and a baggie of quarters.

Mom used to way: Live and let live. She was right.
Just wish folks wouldn't force their beliefs so Sharynmarie! Hope your dil's mom dials it back for you so you don't have to deal with that nonsense.

Thanks to Bookworm for the sweet hug. Thanks, Book. That means a lot to me.
Hope you are getting though the insanity of the process over there.
I spent a bunch of time looking at youtube videos of where I was when I was a kid. I looked up Ebeye. Terrible what they are going through and a bare minimum of help after being manipulated into living there. Awful.

Jen! Thanks for the hug and yes, restoring this boat is hard, expensive and hard. Not only that, it's hard.
There is a satisfaction to it and I think that the boat is saving my bacon in the long run. We are saving each other because a boat like this can't sit for long without attention and neither can I so the boat and I give each other a lot of attention.
Mostly when I am poking here and there and say wtf is this!?!

Flex/Diane/Flex! Thanks for the hug and yes, I have tried BioFreeze and man does that work. I forgot about that stuff so yes, I will get some. I do remember using that one time when I had ridden a horse in a parade and was too proud to hold onto the horn so I squeezed my thighs together to stay tall in the saddle and hadn't used those muscles in a loong time.
The next day I couldn't even go up a step so I put some on that stuff on and got it too close to my hoohah and did the dance of 10 Indians.

Ok, off to reef caulk out of the shroud plates and davit plate on the boat deck.

lovbob

Speaking of JW, answer the door naked.

I did and that's what cured that.

Love to everyone, and will write more later. Have to get out and work.

Cuz! Tell lil cuz I said hi.

lovbob

Speaking of the JW. I had this crazy dog, some of you may remember me talking about Sky. She passed away just before we brought my dad home from rehab; Sept. 2011. Anyway, she was a cattle dog, border collie mix. No one thought she was a girl, because her demeanor was so masculine and her voice so deep, loud, and fierce.

We adopted her in Nov. 2006 and she became pretty protective of our area. She was always braver inside the confines of our yard or house.

So the JW come calling. I'm in my office with Sky by my side as usual. Nice summer day so my windows were open. The gate coming into our yard is right outside my office widows. I think I had been cleaning the windows and had the screens off because I remember holding onto Sky, my arms wrapped around her neck, as she snarled and lunged at the darkly clad visitors. I was hanging on to her for dear life and I remember telling them, "This is not a good time." They couldn't get back in their car fast enough. Hahahahaha, freaks. I should have let her go. Just get tired if these folks coming around.

Thanks for all the prayers. MIL was up and walking today Using a walker. Pretty spry for being 95. They asked her if she needed something for the pain and she said no I don't think I need any right now but keep it handy just in case. My brother's heart cath was posponed until next monday morning because they didn't want to go through the groin because he had a bypass in his right groin 4 years ago and the left side didn't have a good pulse so after being there for almost 4 hours they said go home and monday they will try the cath through his right wrist and see what they can fix there. Brother was really scared when they said they had to wait till next week, the stress is really going to show. I know being up for over 21 hours and only sleeping for 5 hours is starting to show up on this old man. Forty years ago I could go all weekend without sleeping then still go to work but not no more baby cause I is pooped.
luvCuz

BJ~Thank you for telling me about your mother. I know it is hard to set boundaries with our parents no matter if we are 6 or 60. The nurse at the senior living community we want to place mom said she can live in assisted living even though she is mentally incapacitated. She is not incontinent, can get simple things to eat when she remembers, is very mobile. She can't handle her finances, can't organize her thoughts regarding paperwork, take medicine without me giving it to her daily. She can also have her little poodle with her at this community. They do everything they can to cater to what the client wants. How we are going to tell her...I don't know. We have been advice to wait till last minute because with Alzheimer's, it will just upset them no matter how we handle it. Even with us having DPOA, we can't force her nor can the community force her to stay if she tries to leave unless we get a Dementia conservatorship. Her attorney says to wait and see if she tries to leave and how the community handles it. They may talk her down, calm her or they may insist on legal documentation to prevent her from leaving. I did not realize this as I thought if we had DPOA we had all authority but her attorney said that is illegal to imprison someone even if they are mentally incompetent.We will have to wait and see how she reacts. This community has all the things you are talking about plus the clients can order their meals from a menu. They play music from Tommy Dorsey, Glen Miller, Frank Sinatra,etc., have posters of Bogie other people of that era. The memory unit has a program called Expressions based on expressions such as "a penny saved is a penny earned", it helps with dementia memory recall and they have activities based on the expression of the week. Like you said, I would live there too. Alas, the elderly tend view it as losing their independence and that is scary for them.

Deef~I am tall (5'8") usually I don't need to stand on something to get things from upper cupboards. It really was a dumb decision, I knew I was taking a chance as these chairs are all wobbly because of the kids rocking them when they were younger. The reason I am disappointed about my son converting is because there are things about me and my husband I want to pass on to our grandchildren and we won't be able to that with my son's children if/when they have children.My dil's mother is very controling and has already interfered with us by accusing us of favoring our daughter by giving her money to buy a house which is false plus we end up giving our son money 2-3 times a year because of poor choices/situations where they need help. In the mean time we never hear from them unless they need help, never a card throughout the year saying we are thinking about you, we love you. My vacation during the week of April 15th, I would normally drive down to visit them. I can't this year because of mom and I don't have the money saved. They live in a cute apartment that is perfect for them, but it is too small and I would have to sleep on the couch so I have to stay at a hotel which I have no problem doing since I love my privacy. As a result I can only stay a few days. He never has the money for gas to drive up here and his wife does not help him to have the money for it. She, like her mother controls the roost. I know he is disappointed we won't be coming down, but we have our priorities here. Her father is not JW and her brother quit the church. I thought about sending him the money for gas to get here but then thought I would just be enabling them.

Mom is threatening to call the police because we took her ladder. I have copies of the statements from the drs. regarding her incapacity if she does, Lol!! When I went over today, she had a flower arrangement sitting in the kitchen sink in a bowl of water...the arrangement is artificial. It was all I could do not to laugh, Lol!! We are still searching for her hearing aids and now the stapler is missing. Everyday it's something that is missing. She surprised me today as she was complaining about someone taking her stuff, she said, "I don't know what the f**k is going on but I am so tired of it I wish I was dead." She doesn't usually use real harsh words like that, it was funny to hear it. I can't help but think she will have a sense of relief once she in assisted living, maybe once she is acclimated, not having all the responsibilities she feels now, will help her. Have a good night and weekend!!

Hi crew, sorry I haven't posted much lately. I'm guilty of lurking and trying to keep up with everyone's posts. Mom is hanging on and been fairly stable the last few days. She mumbles all the time and I have no idea what she is saying most of the time, Once I get home from work at 2:30pm I sit in her room with her and hold her hand, If she falls asleep I can work at home a little. I've been grinding up her food and she eats a little. She didn't want to eat much tonight but my brother did get some snacks in her before I got home. Tomorrow is suposed to be beautiful weather so I am going to drive down to Charleston and check out some attractions I book for my student groups. It also gives James a chance to get away from mom too. I had hoped to go visit my friend in Savannah but she ended up having to work.

Cuz, I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. It's never just one crisis at a time! It always shows up in multiples. Shirley I'm glad you get out to walk with your dog and to ride. Just trying to get out the front door is a challenge with mom wanting me next to her every minute. I love the longer days too. When mom wasn't so dependent upon me I used to enjoy the late afternoon to garden. Sometimes mom and I would go for a walk.

I hope everyone can find some "me time" this weekend to enjoy.

Love and hugs,
Diane

Jen, as I understand my friend, they were not told the specifics of how hospice works. I think they thought it would give her some help if she needed it. Needless to say, whoever signed them up did not explain their purpose to well. It could possibly be that he is so sick he didn't understand everything when they spoke to him, and that was done when the wife wasn't present.
I keep checking out my front door to see if she is outside again. He called for her while we were talking and I told her I would wait while she checked on him in case she needed help, but she told me she would be okay. Said she was going to lay down on the bed with him and hold his hand. I just hope he is still breathing when she wakes up! She was in a pretty bad way when I spoke with her.
Mom didn't have to file for years until the LTC sent in paperwork for the $$ they reimbursed her for in home help. Last year I got a letter from the IRS that they needed her to file for the last 2 years. You should have seen me looking for all that paperwork! Good thing I have a big basket that I throw all mom's stuff in!
As for FP spitting!!!! That has been a no no for me since I was a kid! Can't stand spitting in front of me and hate it more when I see it on the ground. GROSS!!!!

Read all the paper work, Hospice is not a life Extending organization it is death as natural and Not to be avoided just made easier...If you are trying not to die do not use Hospice. We used it they came now and then helped with some care issues and were there right after my grandmother died so the paper work for dying in home was ok...

"DON'T SPIT IN THERE YOU MISS..."

" I DIDN'T WELL SOMETIMES IT DOESN'T MISS i...."

" I DON'T CARE I ASKED YOU NOT TO SPIT IN THE GARBAGE YOU MISS AND I HAVE TO FIND IT ON THE FLOOR..."

wish we;'d find him on the floor....dead...in his chair dead, in his bed dead...just dead gone over...

God when does this end...

1982, you're killin' me!

Hey deef glad your good to go with taxes. this years neither mom nor I had to file, just no money...pahaghahaa Him, takes two hours......what ever

Good weekend all...as if...

Finally got all the paperwork for our taxes and Mom's done and together!!! I have a 2PM appointment with the accountant tomorrow. Sure hope we don't have to pay on this year! Funny, I was a bookkeeper for years, but I am the worst person for keeping my own paperwork straight!!! Of course the fact that my husband leaves everything up to me, doesn't help either!
Susan, wow, Germany! MY older sister spent 3 years there with her Air Force husband and 2 very young sons in the early 80's. She said it was a beautiful country! Must be tough caring for your Fil. they can be a very domineering culture, especially the elders.
Sharyn, Sounds like you have made good progress with your mom. As for the chair incident, I'm very short, and have always climbed on things I shouldn't have to reach. I'm lucky I have never broken any bones from falling! Now that I am in my 60's, I try to think before I do something stupid, but that doesn't always stop me!!! By the way, there are lots of JW's in this area. They make the "door knocking" rounds fairly often. I was raised Catholic, but have not taken part in any religion for years. My sil's mom is a Christian minister and has turned a lot of people off over the years, including her son. He has become more tolerant with age, but resents having it forced on him during his childhood.
Stormy, sounds like you have your hands full as usual. Ouch for your BIL! It's a terrible disease to live with. You and your sister may have to decide to get outside help for your dad. You both have a lot going on at home and need to think about that.
Mame, need a hand out of that hole??? I think making peace with yourself over the lack of sibling help, will help you move on . It did help me and I am like you in that I do not call them with info on Mom anymore and yes, I agree, they will all here from me when she is gone!
I need to get my eyes checked too! Been almost 5 years! I have had bifocals since my mid 30's and I usually get my glasses at Walmart. hey are the cheapest. If you don't mind the bifocal showing, I still get the ones I call "dimples". They are the cheapest and work best for me. I do a lot of knitting and painting and have to look at books and patterns as I am working. The no-line bifocals are not good for looking off to the side as it covers the entire bottom of the lens and you have to turn your head completely to see off to the side. I also get the least expensive lenses. None of that anti shatter etc. I am really tough on my glasses and have never had a problem with the cheaper lenses.
Bobbie!!!!! You getting that boat ready for me???? I'll be packing a bag tonight!!! I REALLY need to run away from home!!!
Cuz, That is just way too much to deal with all at once! Hope you can get some rest in between visits!
Shirley, Poor doggie!!! Owwwww!!! That must hurt! I like the later sunsets too! Once I get Mom to bed, around 7, she knocks right off and we can get out for a quick "twilight" walk.
Worndown!!! Hello!!! Yes, we are all in this together and we all have "those" thoughts. You can come here and gripe all you want!!! That's what we are here for!
Diane, hope things are okay for you!
BJ, BOAT TIME!!!!!!! A possible trip for you someday! Hope you can convince your mom that the new place would be great for her. You need your alone time after all you have been through lately! I never get any, between my mom and ever present husband, so I know how you feel!
Cat, I love daffodils! My hyacinths should be blooming by next week, I hope.
I sat knitting on my front porch after getting Mom to bed and noticed my neighbor on her front steps. Her husband has been battling pancreatic cancer for a year. She was having a cigarette and crying her eyes out! I don't think he has much longer. He's 59. I think he only weighs about 110 right now and can barely walk. Hospice came out yesterday after he signed papers in the hospital before his release. They neglected to tell him that the paper included a DNR!!!. When his wife read it today, she hit the roof! He didn't know he was also signing for that. He was really weak today and sick. when hospice showed up and the wife questioned the lady, she told her she could not call the ambulance or take him to the ER anymore. She would have to call hospice and they would come and just make him comfortable. My friend threw her out of the house! can't say as I blame her. I feel so bad for her and told her to call if she needs me. They always did everything together and she has no really close friends. They never had company visit or go into their house, so she is going to have it rough when he goes. I'm just hoping it doesn't happen when she is alone at home with him. Too sad to talk about :(
Mom has been a handful lately. Last night I got her up from her wheelchair to walk her to the bathroom, and her legs gave out. So I had to pick her up off the floor and practically carry her to the toilet and then to bed. I'm so afraid the tendon in my arm is going to rupture one of these days! She is not eating as well and gives me the runaround at pill time. Clamps that mouth shut tight like a vice! I don't think I will be able to do this much longer if she can't walk anymore. I can't continue to get her to bed by myself every night. It's too much.
On a good note, I did get out to the mall with my daughter today. I don't remember the last time we did anything together. We had a great time and met with her husband for lunch at Panera Bread. Love that place!!
I can't believe how late it is already! Have to get in an exercise DVD tonight before it gets any later.
I know I missed some of you and I apologize! My brain is fried from all the receipt gathering and organizing for taxes! Hope you all have a great weekend!

Cattails, Mom has only been in the hospital a few times ...; and it wasn't serious. A couple of stints and a mild case of pneumonia. She's actually fairly physically healthy, which I why I know she could do independent living. The only 'serious' issue she has is a fairly large blockage in her main heart valve and the heart doc doesn't feel she'd get through surgery. So she could have a heart attack at any time -- but which one of us couldn't have the same heart attack? The two places I have found for her are close to me, my sister, her grandchildren -- and they have a person there at all times in case of emergency. There are also activities such as a shuttle bus to take them shopping, which she loves! I just know if I could get her to go, she'd love it. She has just put herself too much in my business and life and that is causing a lot of problems.

Sharyn, I appreciate your suggestions. My mom does not have any form of dementia. While she is 89, she still drives, cooks, handles her own business affairs. This is not her home, it's my home and it's my own fault that I have 'enabled her' and let her get by with so much. Of course she doesn't want to move! She has it made here. My sister says I need to make her pay monthly rent but one would have to understand my mother to know why I'd rather not do that. IF she contributes anything, all of a sudden it's HER house, not mine. One tiny bit of control I have is the fact it's NOT her home and I DO get fed up with her behavior and put her in her place occasionally. I have had her with me since '82 so no wonder she feels like she can act like she owns the place. But the last five years, since my husband's death, it's grown worse. I am to the point I resent her in every way so I'm going to have to do something as I don't want to feel this way about my Mom. I'm trying to get her moved into a 'safe' and nice place of her own and she's fighting me. She doesn't want to spend the money as she couldn't shop as much.