Follow
Share
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Thank the lord I'm not the only one. Thank you everyone !!
I have spent too much time feeling guilty.
(2)
Report

Way too much going on there cuz, hope it lightens up load wise soon...

The slop pot, EW ! least FP is not inclined to cook here, steal cookies, try to make coffee (years ago) but that's past too....now he just expects to be waited on hand an foot ans smelly disgusting everything...staring at me this morning. Just die already old man I say under my breath over and over...
(1)
Report

Cuz - Prayers for you MIL that she recovers quickly with little pain. Prayers for your brother that if they find blockages they can stent them and no surgery. Kuli
(1)
Report

Cuz Sending you my very best wishes for your mil and brother. Gee, so sorry and hoping for the best.

BJ: You may just have to take some of Sharynmarie's suggestions. More than likely it will be up to you to say no more. If your mom goes into the hospital again, just tell them that you are no longer able to care for her and get her placed. It has to be your decision, because you are the one who needs to stand up for your life. Wish is was easier.

Meanwhile: Glad you are enjoying the extra sunlight. Poor Sophie.

Stormy: Your sis may just need to do it all herself. I know it's hard for you to say no more, but it's your choice and your right to say enough. Eventually, your sister will have to see the light and it won't happen until you say no more. She has a husband who needs her and a job that needs her attention. You would really be doing her a kindness by telling her you are done. She needs someone to stop her from continuing on this path. I'm sure you are right. She will fight it and try to do it all herself, but that's what she needs to do. Then she will stop, because she can't do it all. Don't let her continue to drag you and Connor down this road.

Diane: Glad to see you on fb. Wish you would share more here. I always keep you in my prayers.

Bobbie: I feel like you leave a lot out. Sending you white light and the best ocean dreams.

Mame: Just take care of mom and let the rest go. It's not fair and it makes me sad for you. I don't know what else you can do. Wish you were closer to me. You would make an awesome sister and I could sure use one.

Deef: Sending you best wishes and someday all will be well.

Jen: Don't give up. Keep writing and learn from the feedback.

Going to bed and sending best wishes for sweet dreams to everyone.
(1)
Report

Hey everyone, I am sorry I have been absent on the thread lately. I guess I just have alot of stuff on my mind. Also, Connor has been out of school this week and I have had to carry him to dads with me. He has been good this week over there, thank God. But at the beginning of the week, he was saying that he didn't want to go over there. I just told him, I know. So I am still at the dilemma about what am I going to do when he gets out for the summer. I can't carry him over there every day for 3 months. He will be as loony as I am. I had thought about writing my sister a letter and telling her that I couldn't carry Connor over there all summer. But that will not work, cause she will not find anybody else to take care of dad. And she will try to do it all herself. And this past Monday her husband had to have part of his foot amputated. He is a bad diabetic and has had several ulcers on his foot, some of them healed up, but the infection got into some of the bones of the toes and his big toe. He is in the hospital now but will get out tomorrow. When his foot heals up they are going to fit him with a prostetic(sp?) for the end of his foot. She has been at the hospital this week off and on. I have been at dads during the day and then I go back at night to do the nightly ritual to him. Then I leave........
Connor is doing good. He had a good Easter. Lots of candy and baseball stuff. He is taking t ball now. He is trying to get into it. But I think he liked soccer better. We will probably sign him up for that next time. His practice got cancelled due to all the rain we got today. Well, I guess that is the update on me and my foolish life. I hope everyone is doing ok. Talk again soon. Love and hugs stormy
(1)
Report

Cuz, sorry to hear about your MIL, and your brother. Hope everyone does well. Don't forget to take care of yourself.
Diane, how are you holding up?
The longer days give me time to take the dog for a walk after work. We went for a 45 min walk tonight. Lots of stickers, but Sophie has tough feet. She can usually pull a sticker out of her paw, without loosing a step. We were almost back to the house, when she threw herself in front of me, on her back, with her feet waving in the air. For a minute, I thought she wanted me to carry her the rest of the way home (she only weighs 65 pounds), but I finally found a 2 inch long cactus spine, between her toes. Pulled it out, and she was fine.
Mame, hope you are feeling better. That goes for everyone. Sorry, I have to get to bed, more work tomorrow. Love Shirley
(1)
Report

BJ~I understand what you are going through with your mom. I do not know what her medical issues are so I was wondering if it is dementia and if you have DPOA. My mom does not want to leave her home either but we must place her for safety reasons due to Alzheimer's Disease. She is mentally incapacitated now and getting her move to assisted living will not be easy. However, we do have DPOA now as mom's attorney accepted the letters from the neurologist and her PCP regarding her incapacity. He will now work with us through mom's estate as of today.Maybe you can transition your mom if the community you want her at offers adult day care. Can you take her to lunch there and let her meet some of the residents. Can you move her there under temporary orders from your dr. that you need respite time. Anything that can get her there for a month so she can acclimate herself. She may find she likes it because even though a person may not be social, they still crave social contact. Many elders withdraw from social activities because of their health issues and not wanting their peers to know about it. Just some suggestions I am throwing at you and hoping it helps. Hugs!!
(1)
Report

Speaking of relaxing after Mom goes to bed ....

It's amazing how many wonderful trips, complete with landmarks and photos, on google earth plus. :) I do it all the time. I also 'plan' the trips I intend to take later.
(1)
Report

deefer, thanks for asking. I have found two wonderful places for my mom but she doesn't like either place because she doesn't want to be around 'all those old people' (she's soon to be 89 years old.) Both are excellent, safe -- NOT nursing homes but rather independent living apartments with a coordinator to check on everyone. One is a new facility (duplexes) and she could even have her little dog there - and visitors to spend the night as it has two bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. It's also very reasonable (wish I COULD live there, they are beautiful!) She doesn't want to go unless I GO too and I do not want to live in a senior community yet. I want to travel. We are working on her but I feel the only way to get her there is by force. Sad.\ :(
(1)
Report

The statistics on sanity is that one of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends --
if they're okay, then it's you
(2)
Report

Hey gals. We had to take my 94 year old mothor in law to the hospital this morning. She fell at 2:30am and we beat the ambulance to the first hospital where we sat from 3:ooam until 9:30am until they transfered her to another hospital for surgery on the broken femir by her hip. sat at that hospital from 10:30am til 2:00pm when they started the surgery and she never came out of recovery till 6:30pm and thats when we said we are going home. Seventeen and a half hours was long enough for the wife. She got home took a shower and went to bed. I had to watch Grey's Anatomy on the tube and tthen come on here. I have to be back at the first hospital at 7:00am because my younger brother is going to have a heart cath to see how bad his heart is blocked and see if they can use stints or if they have have to do open heart. He will be 62 in may. I will let you gals know whats going on with both of them tommorrow. I know that they said they would have the mother in law up and walking tommorrow. I forgot to add that they put a pin and screws in the bone. Hugs to everyone
luvCuz
(2)
Report

Not having a lot of luck here convincing Mom she needs to move to her own apartment in Independent living. Her main complaint is she would have to pay MONEY to live on her own. This is true since she's never paid her own way at all. If she lived on her own she might not get to buy 2 new pair of shoes every month .... or one of those $300 purses. Wouldn't that be sad?! My sister and brother in law took off this week for a 6 day trip to 'get away' and here I am .... still sitting with Mom. I wish they would at least take her out to dinner sometimes so I could enjoy my own home ALONE for a couple of hours, Mom has started something new *GROSS* in the kitchen. She cooks all the time (eats like a trucker) and she cooks way too much (wasteful) and then she'll have one of my large stainless steel pots on the back burner of the stove so she'll dump all the leftovers together in that one pot. When I ask he WHY she says in case she needs to feed the dogs. But they are tiny Chihuahuas and they don't eat that stuff! I end up every night having to empty her 'slop bucket' from the stove and clean up her mess. It all makes me so sick that I don't even want to cook for myself.
(2)
Report

Pahahah that's a good one cuz.
(0)
Report

Mame~Lol!!No more using a chair as a step stool! I wanted to get out to do some more yard work today but it is raining. My cat has been hunting large moths lately. He brings them in the house, they get away from him, then he is running all over the place chasing them until he catches it again....he is so much fun to watch!! Have a good day everyone, hope you all have sunshine.
(1)
Report

I am in such a miserable moooood!!! Ugh!!!! Can't seem to shake it!
Glasses are sooooo expensive! I think that just put me over the edge. I don't know how people can afford basic eye exams and glasses-and now for me-bifocals. I have been putting it off for quite a while....her we go!
Mom was talking in her sleep this morning... I went in to make sure she wasn't really wanting to get up... She told me she was dreaming of the new saint-Kateri Tekakwitha and Kateri was telling her to come to heaven. (!) And mom told me she told her "no, I want to stay a little longer" !!!! Dream or real??? Wow.
Funny cuz! Jen-I had a cat that used to like the top of my hair-when it was long! And it would get wadded up in his mouth and he would hack or sneeze! It was the funniest thing. They love us like their own don't they? Sharyn-hope you get the answers you are looking for with mom! Your roses must be gorgeous. Stay off the bad chairs tho!!!!
Gonna be 50 here today. Yesterdays snow melted away and there is grass all around. Two big Robins were in my backyard this morning. I do hope it was the last of the snow. Who knows here in CNY. Syracuse basketball going to Ga for the big game this weekend! The town is a-twitter! Everything Orange! Even my husband just shot me a text saying they are all wearing Orange tomorrow! Hope we win!
Running from the angry dark hole... Mame
(2)
Report

J~I am not criticizing JW's for their beliefs, however, I will continue to follow my beliefs. It is only fair. I respect a persons choice, but I will not stop following what I believe because it offends someone. That is not fair to us. If I did that for them, then they should do it for us. My concern is that my dil and her mother will make issues over us having time with grandkids when/if that happens. I fear that it will create a big rift between us. Any help on this subject is appreciated without anyone having to sacrifice what they believe in. Yes, it is up to my son to stand up for our rights, but I admit he is lacking in that area. Hugs!!

The nurse from the senior living community came to mom's house today to evaluate her for either assisted living or a memory care unit. He stayed about an hour and we just talked in general while he asked mom some questions, observed her behavior and answers. He said he would call my sis tomorrow evening to discuss his evaluation with her.

I finally got the roses pruned, long overdue as they start growing here in February. My back aches...nothing new on that...my left foot hurts because I used a kitchen chair as a step stool and it broke underneath me...my left foot taking the full brunt and landing on the leg on of chair. The chairs are wooden and it was a bad decision on my part simply because the chairs are in in bad shape...live and learn. At least I didn't break anything, Lol!!.
(2)
Report

Theater Seats for Seniors
An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater.When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."The old man just groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Once again, the old man just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police.
The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?" "Fred," the old man moaned. "Where ya from, Fred?" asked the police officer.With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, "The balcony."
(4)
Report

I didn't win the play contest, no surprise too many acts, too many characters...
(0)
Report

HA Got Ya!!! I had written that see above and copied and saved it, sure enough the site shut down and wouldn't load it, I logged back in and paste.! papahahaha! so there!
(5)
Report

Ouch o rama Meanwhile I hope they caught it in time? Tooth saved?

I am about an inch even here deef and it can't grow fast enough, CLEO has decided it is now "like fur" and has taken to assisting me in my grooming habits...Very helpful cat...

Sharyn, Grandma A said they gave gifts just becasue they loved them to the JW' in the family...if they happened to fall on specific holidays so be it...

Have a German pen pal I have known for over ten years now, she is in India currently with her husband. At one point they lived in Switzerland, but close enough to border to shop in Germany, she said Switzerland is WAY expensive!

bobbie I cannot imagine the physical labour and expense of up keep of a boat, it has got to be more complicated than home ownership, but no property taxes?

Mame yes we are the ones on the end of work and "The Call" when someone dies. Those who don't know, don't want to and have said so....

Ah The Smell, yes, here let me bottle some for you to take home....;)
(3)
Report

Fly by! Getting ready for eye dr appt-new glasses! Can't wait to see again! Snow here-about an inch...looks pretty but I am sooooo over it! Only 32 degrees here today but tomorrow 50! yee ha!
Austin-so sorry your friend's hubby is such a jerk. Glad you will have your flowers to remember her by. People are strange!
Bobbie-good to hear from you. Hope that is a hot shower you are getting to soothe those bones and muscles!
Sharon-36 years! Congrats! Hope you two have some time to yourselves.
Susan-didn't realize you are in Germany! Wow! I have written those type of lettes to my own brothers about our mother! It helps for a tiny bit of time and then they slack off again. The last letter I wrote really pissed one of the wives off and she is not speaking to me now. It was to my bro, who is a big boy... but she has decided to jump in and save him from me... Completely insane. I am done now tho...I will call them all when mom dies. If they want to know anything-they have to call or email me. This has gone on for over 8 years... I guess I can only beat a dead horse soooo long. I see by their actions they are not going to do any more for mom or me. And that is their problem now I guess.

Cat-sounds like your flowers are waaaayyy ahead of mine! Made me happy to hear you mention some of them. In time... Too bad about the elk shootings up your way. Damn people. What a sight to behold...don't know how ppl can be so selfish.
Deef-can't imagine mom stiffening up like that-I don't know what I would do! My mom is 160lbs! You are a wonder.
Flex-glad you have your job to distract you. Thinking of you often!
Meanwhile-root canal-ouch! My hubby had one...no fun...altho men can be big babies! Haha.
Jen, Linda-hope you are doing alright!
Stormy-how was Easter with Conner??
Lildeb-what are you up to?
Hello to the rest of the gang! Mame
(1)
Report

Good Early Morning Crew!

Sorry for being out of action. I have been trying to stay caught up but have been working sunup to sundown and am so sore that I come in, shower, eat and fall asleep.

I have a section open on the starboard side of the boat house to repair a rotten board and we are getting rain rain rain later today so now it is 5:30am and I wanted to check in and say hi before going out at first light to begin the process of caulking the starboard caprail and covering the opening to prep for the free boat wash coming our way.

It's so good to see from everyone that is writing in.

Bookworm! Thanks for the hug. I read it after a day of operating power tools and my hands were just buzzing. I guess that I am ok, just physically beat up with this hard physical work. I am a little old to be doing this but at least it's getting done and getting done better than the 'professional' that I had on the boat for a few months.

I lucked out with that 72' Berger that is docked right next to me. The first mate has been guiding me as in: OK, do this and that and some of this and I'll check on you in an hour.
He comes back and checks and tunes me up here and there and I keep going. My problem is how freaking sore I am.

Jen! I'm remiss in the fact that I haven't finished your play yet but I will say again that what I have read of it and the one act that I read just tells me that you are a very good writer. I literally have been spending every waking moment on the outside of this barge scraping and chiseling and grinding.

Deef!! sorry you were sick and hope you are better now. I LOVE your posts. We have such a great group of people that if anyone wants to know the unvarnished truth about hard core caregiving read Deef and the others and the truth is there.

Austin, sux about your friend's husband. Jeeze. Some people.
Cuz! Got a great laugh from your last joke and thanks for that.
sharynmarie! Congrats on moving forward with professional care for your mom. It is so hard and you might be all over the map while you navigate all of this but you have a lot of support on this thread and site and to me it looks like you have your stuff together.
Cattails! love Hawaii. Pretty sure that Kauai is my favorite and glad you had some time to play. Next time try putting fins on after you get in the water. Easier.

Diane! I may be closer to your neck of the woods but don't know yet. Stay strong. Glad you and James are together on this.

meanwhile! I think about your ranch a lot and sorry about your tooth. Ow OW.
lildeb! and Mame and Yogi and Kuli and linda! BJ and Mish and and and... you know I am going too fast and forgetting too many but please know that I keep you all in my heart.

OK, time to drink coffee, put tools out and by the time it's light enough I will be sanding away on this boat.

Love all you guys.
lovbob
(1)
Report

wow, sharynmarie, i am glad that things are moving forward with your mom, i know how hard this journey has been for you from reading your posts. we also have family who converted to JW so i know thats a hard one to deal with. its such an isolating religion, it creates separation within the family, not unity. ... at least thats how i see it.

but, there's a break coming as you take some time off and that is always good. i'm also taking some time off next week, and escaping for a few days on my own ... lots of love to you, from a cold and grey germany! xx
(1)
Report

Good Evening Everyone!!

To those of you whose Easter was not so good, I understand how hard it is when you just want to be with loved ones and enjoy each others company. Holidays on my side of the family did not become enjoyable until the early 90's when both parents quit drinking. My mother continued her personality disorder attention getting theme up til just recently as the Alzheimer's progressed. Anyway I had to work all weekend as usual. On Sunday afternoon, we had a down pour of rain and hail that I have never witnessed here before. We received 1 inch of rain in 15 minutes and 1 1 /2 inches of quarter size hail in 15 minutes. A lot of excitement for us, Lol! Co-workers and customers were outside taking pics with their cell phones!! The parking lot looked like Lake Slushy by the time it ended!!

Saturday I put a deposit on an apartment for my mother at the assisted living community we like. A nurse is coming over to mom's house tomorrow to evaluate her as whether she can be in assisted living or the memory care unit. Thursday we have an a appt. with mom's attorney to progess with the conservatorship. I don't know when we will be able to move mom or when the conservatorship will be in place but hopefully we will have some answers on Thursday.

The 4th is my son's 33rd birthday, he lives in SoCal with his wife. I always miss my kids during holidays, especially my son because he and I share many interests. His wife was raised JW, my son was raised Episcopalian. He is converting which I admit I am disappointed. We insist on acknowledging them on their birthdays, Easter, Christmas and Thanksgiving because we will not stop celebrating what we believe just because they believe different. I told him that when he married her simply because they can choose to follow their beliefs and so can we.

I put in for my for first week of vacation the week of April 15. Our wedding anniversary is the 16th (36 yrs.). I usually go down south to visit my son, but because of the situation with mom and lack of $$ I won't be able to this year. However, I am excited to get some things done here at home such as work in my daughter's old room in making it a craft room///art room. Hubby and I will probably take a drive to Big Sur, take some pics(my hobby) and have a nice dinner, for the day. Hope everyone is having a peaceful week, find some quiet time and enjoy spring. Hugs to everyone!!
(2)
Report

well, the snow has melted, but its still freeying here in germany. come on spring! yesterday i sent a long email explaining it ALL ... and i do mean ALL .... to the brother in law, explaining how it all is going, with HIS DAD. hmmmm. now he can't say he didn't know, because i gave him chapter and verse. (does this make me the SIL from hell? probably!) will be interesting to see what happens now ... although my bet is on nothing much. at least i feel better now that they have heard how hard this is. have a good day everyone. xx
(1)
Report

Deef: Good to hear from you. It reminds me that I forgot to tell you that my daffodils are up and full grown. I've got to get out and plant my seeds from last years sweet peas. Now's the time. Bought some Forsinthia (sp) and will put it in the ground. Hubby is always moaning about wanting spring color. All right already. Get the shovel and let's get this show on the road.

Love all of you.......Diane, you hang in there and please stay in touch. We all need to hear from you and we want to be there for you.

Hugs to all,

Cat
(0)
Report

Glad you are all having good weather. It was 28 when I took Mom to daycare this morning. Wind has been howling all day and it's fricking cold again! I just got an oil delivery last Wednesday and gas on Thursday. Another $1100!!! Then the property tax bill showed up on Monday!!! Am in the midst of a mess of paperwork, both ours and Mom's, and trying to get everything done for my Friday appointment. I sure hope we don't have to pay this year!
Diane, Mom was the same way after daycare today. She was all stiff when I got there. Her head was thrown back, her eyes closed and she had her feet straight out in front of her. What a time I had getting her to sit up and then into the car. I gave her the 3:30 pills and let her sit in front of the TV as she seemed to have snapped out of it. Welllll by supper time, there was no way she was going to open her eyes or her mouth! I was so frustrated that I finally gave up and sat watching her on the camera for a while, until I calmed down and she finally snapped out of her spell. She ate well and then watched TV for a while. By the time I had to get her ready for bed, she had started all over again and I had to struggle to get her washed and diapered and into bed. I think I was more exhausted than her. I was going to cancel help for tomorrow, her day off from daycare, but I really need the afternoon to myself. And Erin will get her to bed for me, so that is a good thing!
My husband and I and Lex and Chris went to sil's for Easter dinner, but I still made a ham dinner for Merry and Mom. Luck would have it that my not so nice sister showed up with her daughter and flowers for Mom. She left before we got home. Merry left early too, so I had to feed Mom supper and get her to bed. It was a really nice weekend and hit 60, but that all disappeared yesterday afternoon!
Shirley, ouch! nothing like tooth pain!
Cat, sounds like the weather I had when I visited 2 years ago! I was amazed at how green everything is out there! Beautiful country!
Jen, got my head buzzed today! It was so long that I couldn't stand it anymore! Now I bet it's shorter than yours! But it feels so good! Yeah, the smells, my sibs don't visit very often, but when they do, they always have to make the "It smells in here!" comment, just to make me feel good.
Mame, I'm ready for that warmer weather too! Saw some purple crocuses at my fil's a couple weeks ago. My heirloom hyacinths are coming up near the back wall.
Bj, How's it going with finding a place for your mom?
Austin, sorry you got shut out of honoring your friend.
Bobbie!!! Where the heck are ya?
Sharon, Mishka, Yogi, Kuli, Book,How are you all doing?
LilDeb, did you find a place for your Mil yet so you can get some time to yourself?
I know I'm forgetting people, sorry, very tired here and I need to get to bed!
I hope everyone finds some kind of peace tonight!
(2)
Report

Good thing I work for a dentist. Cracked a tooth and didn't even know it, until it started getting infected, yesterday. My boss stayed late this afternoon and did a root canal on my tooth. He is really good, it only hurt for a few seconds when he 1st opened the tooth up. Of course he managed to numb up half my face for 6 hours with one shot. I've never even had a filling.
Austin, I'm so sorry about your friend. Don't understand why her husband would have a private service. Not like it would cost more money to let her friends come?
Cat, Mame, glad to hear you had a nice Easter. And, Linda I think you are so right on.
Been very warm here too, but got rain, and hail, and 60 mph winds this afternoon. Spring time in West TX is our worst weather wise. Oh, yeah, and the lightening started a fire in town. We don't get cute little robins in the spring, mostly big flocks of ravens, and Mexican vultures. But the cacti are blooming.
(2)
Report

Hi everyone. Mom is back to not eating and not taking her meds. At least I have the ativan in liquid form and morphine if thats all I can get into her. I feel like I live in the twilight zone since mom is busy carrying on conversations with her "visitors" that have been dead about 25 years. Work is extremely busy but it is a good distraction. Tonight I am very tired and mom has been super stubborn. She will not open her mouth to let me feed her but she will open it to feed herself imaginary food.
The weather has been beautiful here in SC too. My bulbs are popping out of the ground and I should have beautiful Amarylis lillies soon. Redbuds, dogwood, plums, forsythia and spirea are blooming. Wisteria is soon to follow.

I'm going to try get some sleep and start fresh again tomorrow. Have a good night all and I hope you can enjoy the beautiful spring weather wherever you are.

Love ya,
Diane
(4)
Report

Thanks cat and mame...and the beat goes on..he did go out today and it was sunny out...and at 65 degrees....he came back in in ten minutes...and put the god awful records on again and is warbling in there....blearrra.... when?
(2)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter