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I just found out my friend and neighbor that died two weeks ago was creamated and her husband is having a private family service-her friends are shut out-so hope he sells-it was warm enough to do yard work-working on the flower garden in memory of Donna.
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Jen and Susan: I don't know what to say about the dirty old men. I am so sorry you have to endure their daily presence.

The weather here has been awesome this past week. We've been working in the yard and I even watered some plants yesterday. Very unusual for March as the rain normally takes care of plants, etc. Even mowed!! Crazy weather, but I'll take it.

Mame: Saw your Easter photos on FB. They were great!!!! Glad you had a family get together.

Deef: How was your Easter? Diane, how are things going with you? Bobbie????? Linda, thanks for making Jen laugh. Stormy: Hope your Easter was a happy one.

I know I'm missing some. Sending hugs to all. Cat
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Hi All. Jen and Susan, I am so sorry you have to deal with such awful men... I just keep shaking my head.... nothing I can say but I feel for you and pray for you! I don't mean this to be funny-but I really do wonder if only the good die young! Bad part about that is that they are not the only ones "suffering" and it almost seems they enjoy the caregivers suffering...but I am sure that is just the sickness... They are sick in so many ways. Positive thoughts and prayers and white light and all that sent to you from me!!!
Easter went well here as we did get mom to my sisters. She is exhausted this week but it is understandable. She kinda remembers and I took lots of pictures so I could remind her. For some reason, people think that they should give her tons of deserts...(she is diabetic and has always loved her sweets!) Funny thing, one brother-as another desert would be given to her-he would take one off her plate! He gets the award for most helpful! Her blood sugar was high but Monday was good again.
More snow here this morning! Just a bit but I must admit-it is getting old! My crocuses (spelling? little purple flowers) are up and the daffodils and tulips leaves are up...just waiting for the buds to show up and open! The robins are all over as well as many other birds. A sign of hope.
Hope everyone is doing ok! Hugs to all! Mame
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Phahahah God Linda! a good laugh before bed pahahahahaaa Thank you!
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i think its because the lord doesnt want dirty ole man in his heaven ,,, keep em on earth to suffer long .
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Meanwhile and susan, yep, just waiting for it to kill us all. Why do these awful people never seem to die?
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jsomebody, my "dirty" old man is 90 this year. I also ask when will this end. At this rate, it will be me who gets carted out the door in a box, and he will dance at my funeral....been a horrid easter, with arguments and tensions and fights all round, which the old man observes with glee and delight. Not sure how much more of this I can take....
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Jen, FP is a dirty old man in more ways than one. Glad you got to dye some eggs. I always enjoyed doing that.
Put a cabrito, (goat) in the smoker for Easter dinner. Don't dare invite too many people. Never know if Mom will behave herself. So she just had my step father, and my sister to pick on.
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We are about at the Vicks' stage here. puddles again and Hell no we won't pull up the carpet and embarasssss Daaaaaaddddddddeeeeee...


So not a good Easter here...

As usual, mom wanted to make it a Perfect (last) Easter for DDDDaaadddeeee...no, of course that wouldn't hold...
After a long week of head colds and grumbling (from him) he decided to go to bed early and not tell mom...no pills no eye drops nothing just got into bed...Mom lost it. literally. That ass hole has finally done it, he made my mother cry. I stood in the hall and motioned to go to her, as usual she ran away from me went and shut her door and cried in her room. I hope it reduced some level of stress she is carrying around BEFORE IT KILLS HER!!
So Easter breakfast...I listen to him getting up touching every god damn thing he can between his hole and His Hole and the back room...mentally I calculate what I need to use the Clorox Wipes on. the he starts the pretend coughing to wake people up to come do his med check and feed him. I listen for mom. If I get up and start a Non-Easter breakfast I may get snapped at, if I let her have to deal with him on her own I may get glared at...I split the difference and go up hen she does. I do his meds she does his breakfast and we both go back to bed. After a night of his hacking coughing spitting every thirty minutes, LITERALLY as his cold dies. (mom has it now)
What the fuck ever. Oh and he said "Good morning Jenny." at me and "Mornin.." to mom...he just sneezed and his dentures hit the floor hilarious. catch something it is your shit on the floor.
Neither of us responded. and he was upset and I hardly care. He is making us all sick literally and figuratively. he is not a 'nice lil old man', he is a fucking perverted son of a bitch and a stubborn, irritating, bigoted, stupid one at that. He is 92 this year. When does this end?...




I dyed eggs my self. my little bit of fun for the week.

I hope others are having a fun Easter some where. Enjoy it for me. Jen
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Ahhh!!! The odors!!!! They seem to get in your brain and even when they are gone you swear you can still smell them.
Susan, Yuck!!!! been there, done that and it is hard to find the right product. Urine Gone for animals works quite well here.
Shirley, I used to sub at a doctor's office and he would do the old "Vicks" trick when he had to do a pelvic exam on an unsavory patient. Always have a jar of Vicks vaporub on hand so that you can rub some under your nose in case of an odor emergency. It does work!
Diane, hope your Mom continues on this path. At least she is calmer and easier for you to deal with.
LilDeb, Sharyn, Mom's LTC cost about $2200/year and after 11 years, it was worth $92,000, to be paid out up to $125/day, after 90 dates of service were met and documented. That would be hospital stays, rehab, physical therapy and home nurse visits and also in home paid help. I had to show proof of each of these for her LTC claim to be opened and start reimbursing her for services.
Money can only be paid to a PCA, NH, or home health service. It can not be paid to a family member. I had to pay the PCA every week and turn in a payroll sheet to the insurance company and wait for the reimbursement checks. It was a royal pain in my ass, but it lasted for 4 years and she still has her annuity left. If she had been in NH, the $175/day that was not paid for by the LTC would have to come out of her pocket and the money would have been gone in a year.
Sharyn, make sure you get someone to explain mom's policy and how it will work. It never is what it reads like. Good luck!
Mame, My mom has been having a few good days lately too. Very unusual for her, but I'll take them when I can get them.
Jen, BJ, Cat, Stormy, Msdaizy, Mishka, Yogi, Linda, Bobbie, Kuli, everyone out there, May everyone have a peaceful Easter!!!
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I hope everyone has a Happy Easter!!! Love and hugs stormy.
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Easter
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD!
The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the road sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.
"I feel terrible!" he explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM!"
The blonde says," Don 't worry."
She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can.
She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents on him.
The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves a paw at the them and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished.
He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny?"
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

It says..

(Are you ready for this?)

(Are you sure?)

(You know you're gonna be sorry)

(Last chance)

OK, here it is......

It says,

"Hair Spray
Restores life to dead hair,
and adds a permanent wave."

Happy Easter!!!
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The name of that product is OdoBan. It has a eucalyptus original scent.
Says it kills 99.99% of germs and is an air & fabric refresher. The web site
odoban and it is made in the USA.
Hope this helps.
luvCuz
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Mame: I am wishing you and your mom the very best Easter. I so hope it is a great day and a good memory. Wishing everyone else the best Easter can bring. Hope it's a good day.
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Hope everyone is having a decent weekend. Happy Easter! Mom was up at 7:30 this morning-I told her it was kinda early for her and she said she has to get ready for tomorrw! She is soooo cute! So, she is all bathed and hair curled and nails done and the hair on her chinnychinchin are gone! I ran out while she ate b'fast (hubby here with her) and shopped. She said she didn't know what she would wear... So, I found her a really pretty top. I hope she doesn't use up all this energy today and end up really tired tomorow. We'll see! Just like the old days, she is asking me what my sis wants us to bring and what we need to bake today. Hard to believe! Yesterday she didn't know which end was up-let alone that we would bake something for a party! I just never know! Watching College Basketball....makes me nervous so I am on the computer to keep me from getting too anxious! Go Syracuse! Mom loves it too-today! lol Mame
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cuz, thank you somuch!
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susan26 and meanwhile2 I have used a product the nuetralizes urine smells etc. I can't remember how to spell it and its to late for me to go out in the garage to get it SO I will have the correct name for you tommorrow. I knoe that we bought it at Sam's club and I have seen it at Menards. My neighbor just borrowed some last week because her dogs like to pee on the carpet by the front door and when she went to tear out the old carpet she was gagging from the smell. After using the spray I gave her the smell was gone and stayed gone. I'm thinking the name is something like OderBan but the spelling is wrong I think. The friend of the wife's whose ma dumped her stuff in the sink just used it in her ma's bedroom and said it works. Like I said I will have the right name next time. Hugs your way.
luvCuz
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Hi crew, Just stopping in to let you know I am ok. Mom has brightened up a bit this week where as last week she looked like she was on deaths door. I'm just too tired right now to write more, but sending hugs to all my caregiver friends.
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We needed the flamethrower at work today. Had a patient come in that the Doctor had to work on (needed fillings), he obviously had not been near soap and water for quite some time. Then the patient after him, a little old lady as neat and clean as could be, but her granddaughter brought her in, and the granddaughter smelled worse than anything I've ever smelled before. Even after they all left the office was toxic. We had the door propped open, and everyone was spraying anything they could find. Didn't help much. Everyone was standing out in the parking lot when the next patient showed up.
Hope everyone has a good Easter.
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Flamethrower....literally....
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we also have to live with the most unbelievable stench in my fil
's room. i have no idea what it is, but nothing helps ... as soon as he is out of there for a second i open windows. i have tried candles, onions, bicarb of soda, room freshener, salt, cloves, incense, room sanitiser, ... nothing works. on a bad day, the smell hits you the minute you walk in the house. on a good day, i only start retching when i walk up the stairs. i wash his clothes in industrial strenght deoderiser and disinfectant and STILL....

any ideas anyone?
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Lildeb~The policy I applied for is through State Farm Insurance. However, they will no longer have them as of April 1st. It is still an expensive policy with monthly premiums less my mom's but more than my brother's. It is based on paying $100.00 a day for facility care right now, but it has a 5% inflation rate per year and my agent said that that is high because it does not go up that much in a year. My mother's policy started with 110.00 a day for facility and now will pay 182.00. totaling $5,000 a month. It does require a neurologist's diagnoses for either not meeting 2 out 6 ADL's (activities for daily living), or being cognitively impaired. If you use it for home health care, you still pay the premiums, but once you go into a facility the premiums stop. Mine will have a 90 day deductable. The memory care unit we are looking at for mom does have adult day care @ $80 a day, includes 3 meals and all activities under their Expressions program. I will be called for a phone interview. The applications require that all medicine you are taking is listed and in some cases they may require your medical records. My agent told me that 50% of the people who apply are declined. My brother and sil started a policy about 2 years ago. They work for the government so their premium is only $155 a month. 2 months after my brother was approved, he was diagnosed with Interstistical Lung Disease (sp?). Now I wait to see if I am approved. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed. Yes, our marriage was not always good especially when the kids were young. He was basically an uninvolved husband and father...work was first no matter what. That is what he was taught...the wife must work, take care of the kids, house, yard, everything so he could concentrate on his career. In other words, no matter what my career may have been, it was not as important as his. Plus he was very controlling with money, wanted all the power and control over my paycheck as well. I finally put my foot down and refused to give him my paycheck. Eventually things fell into place for us, he realized he needed to let me grow as an individual and not treat me as his child. He has stood me when I was in therapy for 4 years regarding my childhood, he supported me when I would take classes at the local jr. college when out of work, then when I lost my job after 11 years, he refinanced our house to pay off vehicles,etc. The house was already paid for at that time. I felt so horrible about it. Yes, I love him with all my heart. I considered divorcing him at one point, I am glad I didn't. We both have grown so much together. BTW, I was not without fault either, I made many mistakes that any other man would probably have filed for divorce over.

Happy Easter everyone!! I will be working as usual over the weekend but I hope everyone has a nice family dinner, Easter egg hunt, Lol!! We would have Easter egg hunts for adults when my dad had Alz. He loved it!!
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mame, I hope your mom gets out for Easter so maybe u will get a little break. maybe. Glad u r feeling better too. No one likes to feel sicky poo.
BJ1Okla, howl away......
Jsomebody, man, u r so rich! 7 whole dollars, hey money is money. I rolled up 8 bucks of coins this morning so the mil n I could have breakfast money after I got out from having a fasting lab n the Butt dr. appt. At least u had enough to get your medicine. Too bad they won't drop it off at your house.
Sharynmarie, I like to know what brand of LT insurance did you got for it sounds pretty good? It is so sweet n loving of you to not won't your hubby to lose everything if something happen to you. Sounds like y'all have a great marriage.
Cuz, that was so funny n so sorry but it was funny about your friend n her mom. She sounds like she is a fire cracker too. At least ya got her a new toilet seat n the both of yall got a chuckle out of the deal. sounds like she really needed that too. You r too good of a friend n keep up the good work. Just don't over due yourself.
Deefer, You poor thing either end is not good when you don't feel good. glad u r feeling a little better. omg!! people-repellant, that just takes the cake. lol. !!! sorry jsomebody.

Mil showed her butt with the nurse aide yesterday n flatly refused any bathing help. Said she could to it herself. She seem like her brain was fully function n fully aware too. So, nurse aide will only come once a wk to help for she sound very independent. Of course at that time. Chris, the CNA came by today n I tried to explain about 2hrs later, hubby told her to take her butt a bath being she can do it all by herself. Of course, she couldn't even find the tub. I finally pointed it out to her n let her run the tub water off/on for awhile for she couldn't figure out how to fill it up. I know it sounds mean but she ran of the help! Eventually, I went to help. The CNA said it was going to just take some time n that she likes to manipulate people. you think? She told her son that he ort not tell her she going to go to a NH if Debbie cannot get a break for she is his mommy. He took up for me but I hate being n the middle. The SW came out as well n he's going to see what he can do about her n he told her that she will have to go to a NH if she don't give me a break. That if I get sick she will be gone. i was so glad that someone outside actually told her that n he got the evil look. He also gave me some tips for her to do instead of being right under me too. Plus, he going to see if they can help with the Ensure n see if she qualifies for a certain program but it wil take a couple of wks. Better than nothing. Like i mention on the, 'how is the caregiver,' I guess he saw my 14lbs saggy blush-is eyes of how burned out I looked. Im going to try another respite center tomorrow n try to get some rest after I am done with her for the am running to dr's n such. Then, I am leaving Saturday if all goes well to Ocala to have Easter n few days while hubby will be on spring break.
So, I hope everyone has a blessed Easter n r able to get some rest. the only reason why I don't leave Friday is I am afraid I will fall asleep at the wheel. So I'm taking Friday cat-naps if possible while she is at the day care. Not cheap but it will be worth it n maybe I will feel a little refresh n alive too. ; )
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Busy day today. Had lots of errands and shopping ,etc. to do because I didn't get out yesterday. Feel better though! Had to get Mom up and running, but Erin came at noon, so I had the rest of the day to get things done. It was nice and sunny after she got here, so we took a walk before heading out
Erin had a bit of trouble with Mom this afternoon, but got her calmed down and fed her a good supper. I hope she gets up easy tomorrow!
Yes, BJ, howling is very good for stress!!!!
Jen, what color is the emanation from FP's room? Maybe you could bottle it and sell it as people repellant! Just a thought!!! Hope you can get your script. I had to pick up 4 of mine today. Just ordered 4 for Mom 2 days ago. Sometimes I lose track and I'm the one that runs out!
Sharyn, sorry mom is causing so many problems! She really should not be handling any of her finances at this point, but if she won't give you her checkbook or bills, there is not much you can do until you have legal power over her. In the meantime, all you can do is damage control!
I quit my job 5 years ago and then my husband lost his 2 years ago. He is 64 and can't find anything, so had to start collecting SS early. I'll be 62 in August and will do the same. Mom signed the house over to me over 3 years ago, so I have some rent coming in, but that just covers expenses like property taxes, insurance water and sewer and huge heating bills. Our debt has doubled in the last 5 years and I see no end in sight. Just living day by day for now.
Mame, wasn't puking! Other end this time!! I am about 2 hours from Cape Cod. I'm in the center of the state on the east side of the Quabbin Reservoir. If you travel 90, Mass Pike, here, you will pass about 15 minutes away from my house! Let me know when you are passing through and we can meet for lunch at the nearest exit!
Diane, Haven't heard from you. How is mom doing? Are you holding up okay?
Cat, any pictures yet?
LilDeb, How are you doing? Hope Mil is behaving for you.
Cuz, very funny story, and yes, very typical of our lives!
Mishka, feeling any better yet?
Bobbie!!!!!!
Okay, requip kicking in! Need to get to bed. Night everyone.
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Hi gals. I was doing some bathroom work at a friend of the wife's today. Had to install a new higher toilet and a new vanity. Cindy (the friend) is caring for her mother going on 3 years with alzhiemers. She told her mother last night that the bathroom would be out of commission for a couple of hours and she might have to use a bucket if she has to go real bad. I get there this morning around 9:00 and Cindy is just hotter than a fire cracker. Her mother got up early used Cindy's good cleaning bucket and had dumped it and the poop in the kitchen sink. Needless to say it took me awhile to stop snickering and calm Cindy down. Once I got the new toilet in, with the new bars to help her ma get up I told her ma it was alright to use the bathroom if she needed to. After about five minutes the bathroom door opened up and her mother hollors out the door "cann I flush this contraption now"?
We both lost it and laughed for about 15 minutes. I'm starting to see the reality of what you gals go through 24/7. Hugs to ya all.
lovCuz
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Lildeb~glad to hear your mil will get help with hospice. Yes, I am feeling much better today, thank you.
BJ~I am howling with you...it not only feels good to howl but helps to relieve the stress and who cares what the neighbors think!!

General info: I had an appt. with our insurance agent regarding LTC policies. I applied for a policy. It is similar to my moms: it has an inflation rate of 5% a year for the cost of care, covers assisted living, snh, home health care, adult day care. Of course she cannot guarantee that the monthly premium will not increase (though it is usually passed on to those who get policies after me), I think I can afford it so my husband doesn't have to pay through the nose for my care. The only difference between mine ( if accepted) is mine pays 3 years while my mother's pays 4 years.I want to do this for husband because he has been my rock for 35 years and I don't want him to loose everything if I get dementia. His family lives well into their 90's with no dementia and my husband has done so much for me, supporting me in therapy, refinancing our house when it was paid for because I lost my job. I am tearing up writing this because he means the world to me!!

Anyway, today has been a challenge with mom. We took her ladder away for safety. She has been having a fit over this. She locked the doors to two of the bedrooms in fear that someone was stealing from her. The doorknobs are from the 60's, and keys are long gone. They require something like an ice pick to open but with a flatten tip. I ended up having to remove the knobs to get in. Her checkbook was gone again. I helped her look but she kept accusing my husband of stealing it (the ladder issue). I told her just to keep looking for it because it has to be here. She finally found it. I was frustrated with her at accusing my husband but my mom's normal personality is that she never does anything wrong, it's always someone else's fault just got to me. I know she has Alzheimer's but sometimes I just can't take her verbal assaults especially against my husband. I have not told him and never will.

I hope everyone is good with all you have to deal with. Many hugs and hoping for a quiet night.
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You know the phrase "You could cut it with a knife..." and that is generally refers to things you can't literally cut with a knife...?

Heres one I think if you had say a special kind of camera you could see a knife cutting the invisible substance..the stench in FP room of a combination of old man sneeze and exhale, piss, feces, Ben Gay, Vick's and what ever else his not yet dead self manages to oooooze out in a day///it is literally a solid substance in the room and if you open the door in moves out in a block like a wall of smoke.
I am telling ya she won't even open the window when he is OUT of said room. I won 7 dollars on lotto, use it to pay for my prescription but not sure we can go get it Friday if he is still sick. I can walk it if I have to. Distance: about 1 and a quarter mile. Be worth it just to escape the fug from the hole.......
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I'm ready to HOWL. Seems it should be the appropriate thing for all of us to do. :)
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Thanks everyone. I hate drama. I have been demanding more from the boys or to tell me to stop bugging them if that is what they want-and they are happy with the relationship they have with mom. What person is going to do that if it is gonna sound like they don't want to see/call their mom anymore? I guess that is manipulative of me. I should know the answer by their actions... And yes, I should let it go. I thought I had before...but it is hard when on a good day she is asking for them and you are giving excuses for them to spare her the truth. So sick of all this.
Deef-glad you are done puking....hope you feel better. It is going around!
Lildeb-I don't know how you do it all! Glad Hospice may help out.
Sharyn-thanks for the laughs! It's me mom.... haha
Hey Cat, yes, I can piss ppl off sometimes. Not always entirely intentional... but it happens.
Hi Meanwhile, Linda, Jen, Daizy, Cuz, Bobbie, Stromy and everyone else out there! How are things Flex?
Mom's hairdresser will be here soon to cut her hair. She will be so happy and ready for Easter! Sister is having Easter dinner this year as usual-hopefully will be fun! Mom says she will go, but it will depend on so many things! Fingers crossed!
Happy Full Moon! Let's all howl tonight!
Hey-who is near Cape Cod cause I may be up that way in August?
Mame
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Woke up at 2:30 AM with a stomach bug and battled that for 8 hours! Managed to get Mom up and off to daycare, then went back to bed for a few hours. Got up around 1, had something to eat, took a shower, and felt much better. then it was time to get Mom.
She was tired today and they let her nap in one of the recliners. She was still tired at dinner time and went right to bed. Full moon usually makes her act like she has a UTI, and she gets crazy, but this time she is tired and uncooperative. She's home tomorrow and Erin is coming to sit with her, so we'll see how she does.
Pretty tired still, so going to bed. Night!
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