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Sharynmarie, sorry u been feeling under the weather. No one likes being sicky poo. I hope u r feeling better?
Cat, I forgot you had went to Hawaii. So glad u two had a great time. U have to share some pictures of the beautiful places y'all visit. Any cool shopping places or did y'all just relax on the ocean?

Follow up with hospice, I found out that the mil does qualify but not as for her alzheimers just yet but for 'failure to thrive.' they went by what her total bmi should be around 105lbs n she only weighs 75 right now. If I can get her up to 80lbs I will be some happy camper. I'm hoping they can get her to wash her hair n help me with nutrition wise of what to get her to eat with her throat swallowing problem n her teeth issues. I asked about the one hr deal for I told them that it would take about 20minuetes to get her into the tub much less get her hair washed. The lady explained to me that they would be their more if needed but not like a 3-4 hr service. That made sense for they r not their for respite at the house. However, they have some break for the family that has up to five days n I will know more Thursday. Right now just trying to get her to eat more that won't bother her throat so bad n her teeth. It don't happen all the time n I figure out certain meats she can no longer eat. She don't like to chew anything either if it takes more than five chews. he going to the bathroom every 10minutes is driving me crazy while I feel sorry for her at the same time. I have to make sure she not leaving on sink water or putting her hand in toilet bowl water to try n make herself pee when she don't have to go. She don't have UTI either so that was out of question. I guess this is another phase of AD. She did get her toe nails done n the dr was very friendly n she actually got a few laughs herself. I am so glad that I mention it to the dr for one of her big toe nail was starting to grow inward toward her skin n her nails r hard as a horse hoof. She even notice her shoes feels a little loser too. Plus, they weighed her their n she weighed 75lbs so she did lose 3 pounds like I thought. I was thinking about giving her Ensures for breakfast n one at night like I do. She will eat cereal in morning n sometimes a egg. I tried the oatmeal n forget that idea. They said to get like jr baby food too. have anyone of yall done this for someone having trouble with their teeth n throat swallowing issues. The swallowing part is not really that bad but she does have some trouble. I figure if it was easier to go down n she eat more n gain some of her weight back too.
I'm exhausted n the mil n I will be checking r 3rd adult day center tomorrow to see how this place is n they r only$ 65.oo buck for 8hrs. At least Hospice will come out Thursday after my appt with the dr's. Yippee...
I hope everyone has a good night rest. I am going to try if the mil stays n bed n i have a laser alarm set up just n case if she has to go to the bathroom.

Meanwhile, I bought some adhesive denture strips to try out on her dentures n I will go from their beings she okay with them one hours then next time she is not.
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I am playing a little catch up here, have been sick with a cold,etc.
Cat~I am green with envy regarding your trip to Maui but so happy you and hubby had a great time, you certainly deserved to get away and enjoy!!

Linda09~We don't often get snow here, the last time it snowed was in December of 1989!! I only remember because my niece was in hospital from a bad car accident during Christmas. I hope it warms up and spring flowers brighten your days.
Flex~Thinking about you and mom. Sending you positive thoughts to help brighten your days.
Mame~So sorry sil reacted the way she did at your request for your brother to call mom more often. Is she reactive like this normally with your family? When my dad was sick with Alz, I asked him if he could dad out one day a month to help give mom a break. He didn't want to do it, said he didn't know what to do with him or what to talk about. I suggested he take him to lunch, to the zoo, a park. Anything that would get him out for a few hours so mom had a break. Sis and I took dad out every weekend. We went to the zoo, an agricultural museum that had antique farming equipment. He loved it!! We live in an area where agricultural is everywhere. We always ended with lunch. LOL!!! I have to tell you, one particular restaurant we went to had mirrors on the wall behind our booth. After we ate, dad brought out his wallet and was going through it, on his lap. He looked in the mirror and said, I hope they realize I am going through my wallet and not playing with myself!! When I looked in the mirror, all you could see was my dad's hands moving on his lap. Well that is my story and I'm sticking to it.
Mishka~I hope you are feeling better, having cold/flu sucks. I hate the down time involved.
Susan~Gross, yes!! I think it is time for new measuring cups that are kept out of harms way, Lol!!

Mom is calling me 4-5 times a day because we took her ladder away. She has threatened court, calling the police you name it. Yesterday, right after I got home from seeing her, she called asking if I was Sharyn or "K"(my sister). I said I was Sharyn. She said you don't sound like Sharyn. I said, mom I have a cold. She said sarcastically, Well so do I!!! Then she said, I will call back later when Sharyn is there!!. She called back 10 minutes later and everything was fine, she knew who I was. Hang in there everyone, hope your day is good, find some peace for yourself at some point. Hugs!!
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The mil don't need anything for pain management except being a pain n the ass. lol. I couldn't help myself.
msdaizy, she was gaining weight since she has been with me but for some reason she is starting to hide food. Plus, if she has to chew more than a few bites she won't eat it either. I got some $3.00 off coupons at a dr's office for Ensure. I grab a few n stocked up on some Ensure Complete. That ort to help fattening her up with some ice-cream crushed in it.
Cat, u r too sweet. I actually been reading a book called, 'The Power is within You." I was able to tell hubby NO, n it felt great too!
Meanwhile, thanks, for the tip for that does sound cheaper. Plus, if we invest the money into a new set she probable won't even like them. Just a gut feeling with the mil.
Mame, your sil might just be tired from the care-giving n just taking it out on anyone in her way. Try not to take it personal. If it really bothers you then just call n ask her.
Deefer, hubby agreed for me to get what respite days I need n like I told him I don't think I will can handle her as time goes on. I know he is hoping the respite will help because of the high prices of a NH. I cannot blame him either but I am losing a few pounds myself n I am going to get some respite breaks. I cannot do this 24/7 every single freaking day anymore.
The mil is still somewhat independent for she can walk n feed herself n such but just needs the help in between.
I am taking the mil to her toe-nail dr today, yippie. Thursday, I have to get fasting lab for my diabetes n I will see the butt dr. Still have a little pain a spot of blood back their after a BM n not sure if that is normal but I will see Thursday.
Cuz, luv your jokes n I hope your doing well.
Book, I haven't heard from you n I hope u r healing from your loss.
Linda, hang in their girl.
Anyone hear how Jam is doing?
Bob, is your boat rocking from all this nasty strong wind, stay safe.
Those of you getting some snow, try to stay warm.
Gotta go n I hope everyone is able to have a great day. ; )
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Hey Linda!!!! Glad to hear Mil and Sil are doing better without the GF. How's your husband's shoulder doing?
Mame, what is it with SILs? As for your sibs, it is what it is and maybe you need to let go of the issue for your own sake.I was wondering why Mom was so out of it today. I had to put her down for a nap after daycare and she was pretty out of it when I got her up for supper. Then I realized it's a FULL MOON on Wednesday!!! Just when I started to think it was another UTI, I looked at the calender and knew what was wrong! Who knows, maybe it is giving your mom a boost for a few days!By the way, my sil saw my youngest sister and bf drive right by the house and onto the next street where my brother lives! This was on the last 2 weekends and they never stopped here to see mom. 'm dropping off a gift for my brother and his wife for their 40th anniversary and I will ask my sil if they have been visiting and not stopping here. I have gotten more moral support from her than my own family. She gets pissed at my brother for not stopping by on his way home.
Jen, put a sock on that dog!!! I don't know what would be worse, howling pug or taking FP to the foot doctor. Hope Mom soaked his feet for a few hours!! Toe cheese!!!!
LilDeb, I don't always get notices either and have to look back at old e-mails to find the last post I read. I also thought hospice was strictly for end of life support. Guess it depends on the people taking part in each local chapter. I hope you can get her into a daycare, you certainly deserve a break! How are you doing, by the way? I don't know how you can do all that running around so soon after your surgery. Hope your husband uses her $$ to help pay the costs. As for NH's, where Mom was in rehab, the cost is $300/day!!! Who the hell can afford that??? I can't!
Shirley, Mom's has a denture on top and it falls down all the time, even with denture adhesive. She is down to 97lbs and has very few teeth left on the bottom. I can't take her to a dentist, as she cannot sit without moving and won't open her mouth to eat or take meds. So it would be a waste of time here.
Msdaizy, I was out you way in June of 2011. I stayed a week with a good friend that I met here on AC at the same time I met Jen. I plan on going back and visiting Jen for sure this time. I mostly saw Seattle and the surrounding area. It is so beautiful out there! Can't wait to go back again.
Where did the day go? Got to get my butt to bed! Night all!
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Deb, try and find a dentist that will just put a new lining in your MIL's dentures. It's cheaper. They can even do it in the office, with some stuff called Kool liner. Takes about 20 minutes. Loosing that much weight would make her dentures not fit. Good luck.
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Lildeb...you can request another person to come out for evaluation. Sometimes when you get a man they don't have the compassion us women have...sorry guys. But if you disagree with his evaluation request someone new. Thats one thing the Hospice workers always told me. That if you don't like or agree with what they are doing ask for someone new. When mom was evaluated, she slept the whole time. The nurse and social worker from Hospice came out and talked to me specifically. They did how ever do vitals and looked mom over. But as far as talking to her it was more difficult due to the hearing issues with mom. It was just easier to talk with me. But the thing with the weight, my mom gained weight when she moved in with me. She actually ate on her own. But then we were referred by the homecare nurse. I live in the Pacific Northwest, Washington state. But like Jsomebody...Hospice is there for comfort and care and to give the patient dignity at a time when it's vital.
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That doesn't sound usual for Hospice but maybe it is a local issue? All I heard was the person needed to not be doing anything to prolong life...just preserving say pain control. ?
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Lildeb: No apology needed. You make it as long as you need it to be. I am wishing you good luck on your phone calls. My heart really goes out to you. Hugs, Cat
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So sorry for so long...
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Hi all, I don't understand why I am not getting anything in my e-mail to let me know that their have been new post replies on this forum?
I am going to try n post n see what happens. I had to go back to Feb 23rd post to catch up to the date here.
Very strong wind going on here for past two days n temp has dropped big-time. Hospice came out last Friday but I think the mil won't qualify for he mention that she would have had to lose 10% body weight within 3 months n not able to speak but a few words. At least that was for this particular Hospice n not sure if that is for other places. Yet, still waiting on them to return a call to let us know for sure. The problem with the weight is if I wait till she has to lose 10% she be dead! Why don't they look at what she 'should be weighing?' She only weighs 75 lbs because she lost 3lbs due to not eating good. Plus, they only come out for 1hr per day. Is that normal for hospice? It will take 20minuets just to get the mil to get her butt in the tub. One hr is not going to get anything done. The only thing that sounded good was she could stay up to 5 days in a NH being they don't have a place for them at their business. I guess, they suppose to help u with nutrition help too but how can u cram it all in for only one hr? We only have One geriatric physician in Columbus Ga. The Cymbalta is helping n we now have her on Remeron 15mg at night to help stimulate her eating but it kind of a scary med for it makes her a bit dizzy at night. I don't need her to fall from getting out of bed at night. We did get a laser sensor that I can place facing her be to warn me if she gets up n middle of night. That working okay for now n she is eating a little better.
Debating if it will be worth trying to get her a new set of choppers to help her eat better too? I think Medicare don't pay for that either. She is overly due for a new set of choppers for u can hear them clack in her mouth when she eats. However, Ms. Queen is not that easy to deal with for it's like pulling teeth to get her to get it done.
I also went to an assisting living place to check out their Adult Activity center with the mil n we both had lunch their too. This place was okay n the food was too. Of course, Ms. Queen didn't won't to eat this or that for some reason so I had to tell her that their was no reason why she could not be able to eat the rice with broccoli. Plus, it was not that bad. Then, they offer her tea n that to her was too sweet n so I just said bring her water. Of course, if she drinks that then she will have to pee. Oh please drink the f--ng water so when u do go to the bathroom every ten minutes u will actually have something coming out! However, the people their could just walk all over place n I guess because most lived their anyway. However, what about the ones with dementia? They did have a security alarm but their were a lot of people that were just sitting around sleeping. Not so sure about this place for something just didn't feel right. as It was all nice n pretty but I didn't see too many nurses or volunteers around to assist some of the people except during lunch time n they seem to be the cooks.
The place we went to last week for a free trial which was an Adult Activity place was pretty good. Plus, they do offer "in-home' help if needed. However, they want to charge a month advance n she has to come at least twice a wk. I may just have to go with that one for their r not many choices unless we want to pay 16.00 per hr for someone to sit in r house just to be a companionship for the mil. Been checking around NH places as well n I had no idea how expensive a NH can cost per month. Gee!
Hubby is just going to have to use mil check to help pay for Adult Activity Day center so I can get a freaking break if he wants me to be able to continue to take care of his mom n so I can keep myself in check as well.
Not sure if I will have to hunt down the next post on this forum topic for the e-mail not letting me know anymore for some reason.
I hope everyone is doing okay on here n I am going to try n play catch up on everyone with the readings as soon as I can. Gotta go makes some phone calls. wish me luck
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Mame: Sorry about your sister-in-law. If she's been taking care of her dad and not getting help from her sibs, she might be worn out and just pissed off in general. Who knows? Try not to take it too personally. It's so hard for me to picture anyone being angry with you. And really, you should be able to ask your sibs to visit mom more often. It was such a relief to me when my brothers would come up and visit with my dad. I was so tired and I felt they had more to give him in the way of new stories, change of pace, etc., plus just letting him know that he was important to them.

Maybe your SIL just has a heavy heart. Whatever the case, you are an angel and I hope this all calms down for you soon.

Cat
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Linda he is still "fair to middlin'" as he will say when he thinks too. Mom taking him to foot app now and dog starting the two hour howl job...I can't take it...
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Hi all. Drama going on here with a sister in law who feels I have overstepped the boundries asking my brother to call more often... Wish I could get in her head to know what the hell she is thinking but that will never be. He wasn't angry about it.I am baffeled. Other than that, just the usual. Mom woke up today and must be feeling about 50 or 60 years of age! Came right out to the kitchen-ready for b'fast. Talking about her day and what she had to do. Quite shocking! Tomorrow she will probably not get out of bed till 3pm! Maybe forgetting your age and limitations can be a good thing! I'll take this any day! My sister asked me if it is the Nemenda...I told her maybe, but it is really just a good day.Who knows what tomorrow will bring. We have a little snow left on the grass...some expected this week but no big deal like on the more central part of the east coast. We had 80 degrees here last year this time too and then cold again and it ruined apple crops. March is fickle but this year is more realistic. My daffodils are poking up and telling winter it is in the rear view mirror! Well, still trying to process the sil anger...so I am kind of down in the dumps-I don't like anyone to be mad at me. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't like to see mom feeling lonly. I realize from time to time that I have to accept that certain siblings don't care to see or talk to mom. I am tired of making excuses for them-cause on a good day-she knows they have not been around. I have tried and tried...but maybe it is just time to let it go. I wish it was that easy for me. Anyway...I hope everyone has a decent week. Just don't have it in me to speak to each of you but know that I am thinking of you and pray for all of us each night! Mame
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drivin by and backed up and want to tell you all that i love you ...
got bunch of snow here . purtty sights , trees are covered with it . winter wonderland here . the snow will not last long , going to be in 40s , so it ll be ugly mushy slushy out , worried about floods too .
flex - whats happening now ? thinking of you and sending my angels out ur way .. hugs ! xoxo
jen- fp declinin any ? hope its warm up at ur area .
bobbie - hows boat angel . you havent talked about him or did i miss it ? how is he ? gators around yet ?
meanwhile- whoa sounds purrty where ure at . cant wait for everything to bloome here . im so ready !
guess my bil decided him and mom is happy now that his gf moved out , he said mom is happier and so is he . GREAT !! whew ~~~~ . so everybody s happy camper and is in peace . no more talking about nursing homes . unless bil says he s ready . i shall go up and spend more time with em as much as i can .
you guys have a safe week ,, hugs to ur elders for me . xoxo
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Shirley, Sure you aren't in New England??? I need to get the rest of our tax info together and finish Mom's too. I need to get to the accountant this week or I'll never do it!
Started out cold today, but got better by the afternoon. Almost hit 50 and there was no wind for a change. Don't think we will get anything tomorrow, just cloudy and maybe a few flurries. Supposed to warm up later this week. Can't wait!!! By this time last year we had already had some 80 degree days! I'm certainly not ready for that!
I should have been in bed already! Just wanted to check in. Got to get up early to finish trash for pick up, then it's get Mom up and off to daycare!
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Shirley it has been in the mid 30's here in Michigan with no snow. Northern Indiana is getting the white stuff instead of us. It is supposed to reach the 50's by next weekend. Summer will get here not fast enough. Need to get the boat of mine back in the water. Can't wait. Hugs your way.
luvCuz
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Cuz, I love the joke, just got my taxes (finally) done and e-filed.
Have had the best weather here the last 3 weeks, 70 and 80 degrees. All the fruit trees blooming, bluebonnets, and other flowers blooming. But, the north wind blew in last night (at 50+ mph), and it was 24 degrees this morning. West Texas for ya. I shouldn't whine, I heard a lot of places are covered in snow again.
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Abe & Esther

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news.Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergencyLanding. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us andwe should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that wemay never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest ofour lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks,"Esther, did we pay our Visa and MasterCard bill yet?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks,
"Esther,did we pay our American Express card yet?"
"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says.
"One last thing Esther. Did you remember to send the installment
Check to the IRS this month?" he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Abe," begged Esther. "I didn't send thatone, either."
Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?"
Abe answers, "They'll find us!"
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Hey BJ!!!! Boy, I don't envy you right now. It's tough when they can still call the shots and drag their feet! It may take some doing to get your mom to realize you are trying to help her. I sure hope you get to go for your LONG drive!
I actually went out with a friend today. She took care of her dad for a couple years before he died, so she knows and will just sit and let me ramble on about Mom, etc. until I run out of steam! We actually went to Sturbridge , a small town a hour hour from here that is full of small shops and restaurants. So much for my diet and exercise! We ate at a Chinese buffet! Then we roamed through some shops and picked up a few small things. Erin was here with Mom all day, so we took our time and got back after 5. I felt good to get out and do something I used to do before Mom time.
After Mom was settled and I made supper for mu husband, I did an exercise DVD for damage control!!! I noticed my neighbor was sitting on her front steps having a cigarette, so I grabbed a warm coat and walked over to talk to her. her husband has been battling pancreatic cancer the last 8 months and is not doing well, so I try to talk with her whenever I see her out. It was a really cold and windy day today, but the night sky is gorgeous!!! Big stars and clear moon up in the sky. We talked for about an hour and caught up on all the town gossip! At least it got her mind off of her problems for a bit.
Marienaj!!! That's really gross!!! Know some people I would like to do that to!
Mishka, sorry you are sick now too! Hope it doesn't last too long! Don't worry, boat time will be here when you need it.
Yogi!!! Thanks for checking in! I'm with you on the suffering being over.
Susan!!!!! That is a winner!!! Got to love it! Right now Mom's grossness is sucking loudly an her fingers. It's really gross when she reaches out and touches my face with her wet hands. Gag!!! And you are so right about this being the one job we don't have to apply for. It just seems to find us!
Msdaizy, bet you have some gross stories from your years of caregiving. I have to laugh at things Mom does so that I don't gag too much. If she only knew what she does in public now, she would just crawl in a hole! But not knowing jusy=t makes her laugh all the more when we laugh.
As usual, I have a sink full of dishes to get done before bed. Hope to hear from everyone else at some point this weekend, in the meantime may you all have a nice peaceful night of sleep!
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Oh Gah...measuring cup ewtastic!
in the depth of despair here Gonzaga lost basketball game...
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Bobbie- Thanks for the boat story, it helped. I am doing better, I think the antidepressants are kicking in some. But thanks for the encouraging words. Hugs
Deef- Thanks for understanding. I think if my dr could get my levels right then maybe things would calm down, at least I hope so. Hugs
Cat- I am so glad that you got to get away for a while. I know you had a blast!!
Susan- Yep, thats pretty gross, I agree with mzdaisy- bleach, bleach and more bleach!!!
BJ- Hey there!
Book- still thinking of you and hoping that you are doing alright. hugs
Jen-How's it going?
Mishka- I hope you and your family feel better soon. The stomach virus has been going around this area. And several people have gotten pnemonia too.
Lil'deb- How have you been doing? Good, I hope.
Well, if I missed anyone I am sorry and I will try to get you on the next go round. Hugs and love to all. Stormy
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my daughter, who does most of the baking, is having a 'heebie-jeebies' moment! i am torn between wanting to laugh, feeling disgusted, and NEEDING to disinfect everything in the kitchen immediately. oh the joys of this job....!!! hardest job i have EVER done, and for the life of me, i truly can not remember applying for it!
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Susan...that's a true gross out moment. I'd definitely be on the look out for more..blech blech blech. Sorry it's just I had the visual in my head. :)
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a definite gross out moment tonight: i found my fil using my measuring jug as a urinal. been looking for it for the past few days for baking, couldn't find it anywhere so had to use an old one where the measurements have faded .... only to find my new snazzy one at the bottom of his cupboard full of wee. oh help!!! now i am wondering what else in the kitchen has been used and put back....
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Hi ALL! I've been so busy. I am truly sorry for everyone's loses. I know it must be very difficult, yet in a way, a relief that your loved one is no longer suffering. My prayers and thoughts go to everyone of you and to all that are still caregiving. I just wanted to stop by and say hello and check in. Blessings, Bobbi, Deef, Stormy, Jen, BJ, Sharyn, Austin, Book, lildeb and anyone else I missed!
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Oh, and bobbie- beautiful post about Boat Time. Really lovely.
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Hi all -caught the cold/flu(?) that my daughter and husband had . Blessings to all! Will write more when I don't feel so yucky! Can I have my boat time later? And , aloha, Cattails!
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I saw a movie once where these guys broke into their boss's homes to get details of the house. They had plan to kill each others bosses. One of them had to use the bathroom while he was there and saw his boss's tooth brush took it and rubbed it between his butt cheeks and put it right back. Ever since I saw that movie, I keep my tooth brush in a tube in my bedroom drawer.
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Deefer/all - I am here. It's been a trying week. We are working to persuade Mom to go to independent living and she's absolutely refusing. She did say she'd go but only if I go too. :) That's not going to happen. I feel the time is fast approaching when the decision will just have to be taken out of her hands. We wanted to make her a part of the decision but she's balking. At today's family gathering, she stated she will NOT move anywhere until she's removed from my home feet-first. It's been a very tiring 10 days.

I am going to try to get away in a few weeks and take a driving trip somewhere. I love driving because I so enjoy the solitude to think and relax. Not sure how I am going to manage it but I will.

Hope everyone else here is doing okay. I am so looking forward to spring. Doing yard work and planting flowers is so much more fun than being in the house constantly. Love to all.
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Wow!!!! We are drowning here!!! Anybody out there??
Worried about BJ, nothing from her all week!
Diane??? How's Mom?
Jen? Stormy? Mishka? Bobbie?????
Austin. Linda, Msdaizy, Yogi, Mame? you feeling any better?
Cat, got that luggage all unpacked yet?
Shirley, hope you are getting some rest!
LilDeb, How's it going?
Somebody, anybody???
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