Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Hi all. Just a little snow here! Again we are just too far west of all these storms on the east coast this year! I have to bathe the dog and get some cleaning done....son coming home from college with girlfriend and she is not a huge fan of dogs... likes them but... so, I am getting rid of any dog smells and hair lying around to make her stay more comfortable... Also, I think I had another tick! Yesterday I scratched at something on my back and it went flying...and left a small hole...I am not sure it is all out so the Dr wants to see it. So, I have to run out to see him today. AND, had the taxes done Tuesday and came home and checked them over and found a mistake. Good God-what am I paying him for??? So I have to go pick up the corrected taxes too. Gonna be a busy day. Mom was up earlyish but that may work out better anyway.
Thanks for all your responses about the dreams etc. Shirley-mom not only dreams of her past but talks in her sleep a lot! Hubby and I used to listen on the monitor in the middle of the night just to see if we could figure out who she was talking to or about. She doesn't do it so much anymore. Deef-I will look up that Frontal Temporal Dementia. Thanks. Sorry you have to shovel etc with the bum shoulder! Careful! Lildeb-I feel like I am always reminding the Drs about things and it makes me crazy. What would mom do if I wasn't there? I guess things just wouldn't get done! This weekend we set the clocks ahead-that will goof up our cats, dogs and parents! Us too!!! Flex-dream or reality-yea, mom doesn't know sometimes too and it confuses her so...and yes Kuli it is awful when she realizes she is mixed up! Such a sad look on her face! Jen, hope you have lots of gloves on hand and Clorox cleanup! Hey to Cat, Stormy, Austin and Cuz and Bobbi and the rest of ya! Gotta get the dog in the tub! Blue skies here-maybe a 1/2 inch of snow...hopefully gone tomorrow with 40 degrees + coming. Will watch Syracuse's St Patty's Day parade on TV with mom tomorrow! My niece is an Irish Step dancer and dances in the parade! Fun to try and see her! Take care all! Mame (Got the first disc of the 2nd season of Downton. Wow-2nd season is serious!)

Gah deef, it feels that cold here but the roads are bare! Hope your mom calms down.

Well, we have 10" of snow here and it is still coming down at a good clip!!! Weathermen are totally useless!!! Good thing I went out and shovel the driveway and sidewalk after 11 last night! Made it easier for sil to get off to work this morning. Lex has the day off as they have reservations near the New Hampshire shore for the weekend, for much needed R&R. But I'm thinking they may have to cancel as the snow line is from 495 west and they have to take 495 north to get there. Got to get the snow blower fired up soon and dig out the cars and the rest of the driveways.
Mom is not cooperating today. I have tried to feed her numerous times and she will not open her mouth. I'm taking a 20 minute break and will see if she is ready to eat soon. So frustrating to have to deal with her all day and get the snow cleaned up!
I have that class at the yarn store tomorrow and I'm thinking my hands and arms will be useless after cleaning up the snow. Northampton is west of here and is barely getting any snow, so the class will not be canceled.
I posted a couple pictures on Facebook from this morning. It's really pretty to look at, but the snow is wet underneath and heavy!
Okay, off to try to feed Mom again!

Did try baking cinn rolls two days ago, new yeast wouldn't rise they turned out terrible, just not in the mood now. Wanting to get Chinese again, but I will not ask, not worth the pain.
Yes, it's all hilarious here, his room has gone from piss to feces smell...Mom had another day of "That's just the color of the nail!" Yeah right old man, if you got shit brown nails you need to see a doctor.

Mame, my husband seemed to be dreaming of the past towards the end. He talked in his sleep quite a bit. It seemed to be mainly about the Marine Corp, or his childhood on the ranch.
Diane, can you leave as soon as your sister gets there? She is coming to see your Mom, why should you have to put up with your sister?
Hope everyone has a good Friday. Love Shirley

It looks like we are going to have a few inches of the white stuff here by morning. It's been snowing off and on since early yesterday, but not sticking. This morning there was about a half inch on my car, but it had melted on the ground. After snowing all day we have maybe 2" and supposed to get the most overnight now that it is colder. Keeping my fingers crossed that there will be daycare.
Mom was pretty tired when I picked her up today, so I put her down for a nap. She did well with supper, but zoned out after and I had to open her mouth with my fingers to get her meds in. She fell asleep right away, so she must have been really tired.
I got some laundry done and did some grocery shopping before I had to get Mom. Then I made a huge pot of potato leek soup. It's delicious! I called my friend at work and let her know I had a huge bowl for her to pick up on her way home. My husband doesn't eat it, so I give away what I won't eat. With all that snow sticking to the trees, it was a perfect day for homemade soup!
Diane, Breathe!!! Screw your sister!!! I always get comments from my family about the dust in Mom's house and stuff laying around. I just tell them maybe they should take a week off and come by and clean it up to their standards if they don't like it! I have enough to do just keeping up with Mom and all the care she needs. My house is no better because I am with Mom lost of the time, and my husband doesn't do anything to help there. I give up and just do "duh" time when I have a free minute! My shoulder is still killing me and I have no ambition right now. I sure hope I get some so I can do a good cleaning when spring gets here!
Stormy, at least you have some news on your dad. I sure hope they get your thyroid straightened out soon! It such a process to get it right with some meds!
Shirley, Sounds like you are working all the time. It's hard when you have to do it on your own!
Sharyn, Yup, that's dementia, AD, all the same when they get to a certain stage. All we can do is keep the fed, clean, and safe when they get to the point where they can't do it themselves anymore. Make sure she gets the right meds to keep her on an even keel and to make it easier for her and especially for you. If she has trouble sleeping at night, ask the doctor for something to relax her and help her sleep. Mom gets 2 Seroquel. I know there are warnings about giving this med to elderly people with dementia, but at this point in Mom's dementia, what's the difference if it gives her a good nights sleep and she gets up rested and happy in the morning.
Jen, can't wait to see pictures of the hair cutting ceremony! I need to call my niece for a buzz real soon! Can't stand all this hair anymore! Cook or bake anything new lately?
Kuli, Sophie eating is a good sign! Of course she has to poop and pee too! Rip had a Sophie too and she was so cool! She had so many rescues when I visited 2 years ago, and since then has lost 4 or 5 to predators or illness. It breaks my heart every time she tells me she lost another kitty. Losing animals is so hard!
Mame!!! I have joined in on other threads lately, that concern Parkinsons, Lewy Bodies and dementia in general. There was one that sounded a lot like Mom in the early stages and now. It's called Frontal Temporal Dementia and there was a lot on the subject of dreams, real and imagined. I'm beginning to thinl Mom does not have PD, but this particular kind of dementia as it has more of the symptoms Mom had and has, than the PD or Lewy Bodies. Google it and see if it sounds like your mom.
BJ and Cat, I am jealous of the wildlife you both get to see! I have old houses all around me and mostly see birds of all kinds and squirrels. We are right at the bottom of a valley that is surrounded by woods, so we are not far from wildlife. We had 4 baby racoons coming into our yard a few summers ago. they were eating off of our concord grape vines. They were too cute! The woods start right at the end of our street, but there are too many houses where we are for the wildlife to just show up in our yards.
Okay, I have a potato leek mess to clean up in my kitchen. I don't want to wake up to dishes and pots everywhere in the morning. Hope you all get some rest tonight and have a good day tomorrow.
Diane, if your sister is being an ass, let us know, we'll take care of her for you!

I hit the button accidentally too soon, I hope everyone has a good Friday. ; 0

Mame, you are not ungrateful. Like u mention, u already had it all planned out so u could get out n get some stuff done. However, u sounds like u did have a great time n u got a whole 24hr break. I would tell the bro thank you even though it's his mom too. Maybe he will do it more often to help give u some break so that u can spend some alone time with your husband n son. Glad u got to enjoy yourself for a change.
As for the family losing their mom n no CPR due to their policy, the family were okay with it. I guess her mom was very frail n ready to go anyway. However, it did wake my eye-balls up to ask questions about their policy when or if the times comes for the mi.
Between your mom n my mil, It must be the weather, for the mil here has been getting up early as well n trying to doze during the day-time more. I have to at least have my coffee before she comes out of the room but not today. It's gotta to be the change in the weather. I was just watching my pot of coffee brew as I have my cup ready before it was even done. Just let me get a sip or two first please. ; )
Deefer, you cracked me up with the, 'cat alarm.' Mine try to get me up at 4am n it was not happening. I have to sometimes lock my two up for one will just start screaming n the other will start scratching the wall or chew on my shoes just to get me up to feed them. They got to get their timing right, 6am is early enough. Glad to hear your husband's dad doing good at the rehab center. Sorry to hear u not feeling too good. I hope u feel better real soon.
Dtflex, shame on you blaming the poor kitty kat. I hate it when it happens to me too. Sorry to hear about your mom in her late stages. At least her delusions has her running around even though it suppose to be with your boyfriend, it does sounds like she having a good time n it seems real to her.

Jsomebody, sorry, just try to keep that sense of humor as much as possible. I had the honors of getting enough pissy toilet paper out of the mil's room Wed that, I could had made a mini pillow. She had it chuck on my college books on the book shelf n some pretzels n a glove on top of the shelf! How n the world did she get up their for I have no clue.
I am recovering slowly but surely. Dr. visit went fine even though the stupid lab people didn't draw my Prograf level! I did fasting lab mainly just for that part at the outpatient hospital. This time, the nurse highlighted the area n I will make sure they do it next time n 2 months. It's getting pretty bad when we have to remind them to get all the lab that needs to be drawn even if it is written out on the slip. Good Grief! Normally, I don't have to go to the kidney dr for every 3months but because of that mishap now it will be 2months. Do yall ever just get so tired of seeing doctors? Either it is for me or the mil. I guess I need to be thankful the mil n myself r doing alright.

Mame - my dad had similar things in the last 4 or 5 weeks he was alive. It was almost like he was reliving some parts of his life. One night, he woke me up at 3am. He was fully dressed and said we have to get going. When I asked him where we were going, he said the recruitment office. I have to sign up for the army today. When I told him he was probably dreaming, he couldn't believe it at first and said "I don't know what's the matter with me anymore. I think I'm going crazy sometimes." It's just so hard when they can and do realize their behavior is not normal. Hey to everyone else here. I usually read the posts every day but don't always have time to write. But I think about all of you all the time and pray every night that God gives all the caregivers of the world the strength and patience to face another day. Oh, and Deef, Sophie (the kitty) is holding her own for now. Started feeding her wet food and she is in heaven. Glad her hearing is ok because she sees nothing out of her left eye and very little out of her right. I bring her back on Monday to get weighed. If she lost weight, I don't know what the vet will suggest. I figure as long as she's eating and seems relatively ok, we just take each day as a gift. Once she stops eating, then we'll see where she's at. I don't want to be aggressive with this just to give her another year or so because she is 17 years old. In people years that's like 85. Thanks for asking. Cheers~Kuli

I've vacuumed and mopped the floors, cleaned the bathroom and most of the kitchen. I still have the front porch and refridgerator to go. I'm being manic about cleaning because that is one of the many things my sister complained about last May. Mom even cooperated and had a shower today. 5 hours and counting and the witch will be here.
Mame mom has dreams that are a mix of past memories and her present delusions. She can no longer tell what is a dream and what is reality anymore.

I have to keep moving before the caregiver leaves and I'm trapped by mom. Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement.

Love ya,
Diane

G'mornin. Cat-so happy you have sweet memories! And love your wildlife post! Made my body relax just reading it! BJ-when I lived down south we used to have raccoons come to the door for food too. We would leave out grapes and a bowl of water and watch them clean their grapes and eat them. Soooo cool. Stormy-it is terrible that having anxiety attacks causes more anxiety!!! Viscious cycle! Hoep your Dr gets your levels level! And that you feel better! Sharyn-I am not sure of the medical diagnosis for mom either...I just have learned to go with it-whatever "it" is...it just seems there is nothing difinitive or absolute.. frustrating. Deef-I hope all goes well with fil going home. He sounds like a treasure. I hope someone gets him on tape or at the very least writes down his stories! Hope you feel better woman! Flex-hoping and praying that the next couple weeks with mom andespecially with sis around go ok for you. Be strong and know we are here for you! Jen-Meow! haha Meanwhile, Lildeb, Austin, Cuz, Bobbie, Linda and everyone else out there-Hello!
Mom was up at 4am this morning-partially dressed and calling for me. I was so shocked-but had to laugh. I had to beg her to go back to bed. She said, "but what about that TV?" I told her it would still be there in a few hours, but that nothing was on cause everyone is sleeping! She bought that and did go back to sleep thank God!
Saw my counselor last night. He wasn't sure of the answer, so I am posing it to all of you. Ya know how people say that in an accident their "life flashed before their eyes?" Well, mom is having dreams nightly now-that are memories-not dreams. She tells me about them-some bad-right as she is waking up so I do think she is dreaming them. Have you ever dreamed a memory? Have you had the person you care for have them? I find it very interesting. And I do wonder if her life is "flashing before her eyes" as she is getting older and closer to death. Just wondering what your experiences are on this if any. I am glad mom told me so many stories of her life because I can calm her down by telling her that it is actually a memory and fill in the rest of the story for her. Anyway... Hope you all have a decent day. Hugs to all! Mame

Cattails, enjoyed your wild life update. I also live in the country with a small lake behind my house/land. I LOVE the wildlife. There are about 9 deer residing on my land and they seem to sleep at the back of the property, near the lake. I have mulberry trees and they LOVE the berries, in the spring and summer. That is one thing my Mom loves to watch -- the animals. The deer have grown accustomed to us sitting outside, watching them eat. I also have pesky creatures like Raccoon and feral cats. The Raccoon will come right up to the front door, wanting me to feed them. They are not shy. Two years in a row I've had a fox give birth to twin babies under my pool deck. They are absolutely the cutest babies ever! Of course with all this wildlife, the BEASTIE house Chihuahuas SCREAM in the house when they see or smell the wildlife. They want OUT to chase everything. Yeah, right, they don't weigh over 3 lbs. each and want to chase big wildlife. :) In their little minds, they are Rottweilers! I also get to watch hummingbirds, redbirds and blue jays. I'm so ready for Spring and Summer.

Wildlife Update:

Well, the elk are here, always close by. The other night I was in bed reading and all of a sudden I could hear them. They clash their antlers together and I was amazed how clear the sound was and how it made it self known. They had to be right outside our bedroom window. Earlier in the day they are in our front pasture and having a good time; running and splashing throw the marsh, butting heads and carrying on. These are the bulls. They are quite a sight and I always feel blessed to have them close by. The cows and yearlings are not far off. We saw them the other day. Quite a sight.

Sad thing, looked out the kitchen window and saw a big pile of feathers. We went out to investigate. Poor little Widgeon (type of duck) bit the dust. All that was left was the feathers, a big pile, two little feet, a bit of a wing and the head. Could of have been a hawk, but my guess is a bald eagle. Aww, everyone has to live and I have had to get use to the occasional loss that nature requires.

Our two dogs, Shelties, love to go out and lay in the feathers. We picked every think else up and put it is a bag (body bag) along with many feathers, but we couldn't get them all. Hoping for a good wind. Anyway, in the meantime, our dogs lay out there amongst the feathers as if they are claiming credit for the kill. Stupid kids.

Lots of birds at the feeders and our beloved quail are everywhere. Kildees are back and making themselves known. It's comforting to see this ongoing chain of life.

Our geese are back, and I hope the nesting pair is among them. Love to see the geese and the widgeons walking on the property. They are so compatible and seem to seek each other out or just feel at home in the company of each other.

That's my update. Hugs, Cat

DTflex~Yes, the dr. asked her, what month is it, what year, who is the president, when is your birthday, how old are you, he gave her 3 words to repeat back to him, and asked her again those 3 words about 4 questions later...she failed all these questions. She did know what city we were in, and after saying one day of the week, she finally settled on Monday which was correct and she got one other question right. He did not ask her draw anything. All this came from the receptionist not the dr. He is suppose to call my sister. IMO, my mother has Alzheimer's Disease and from what I understand, and MRI can really only diagnose vascular dementia. My mother is not in early stages anymore, I guess her to be around stage 5. Every clock in her house has a different time on it, she is not eating regularly, she does not bath regularly. The receptionist did not offer my sister an appt. just said the dr. would call her. Thank you for the feed back, it is frustrating. Hugs!!

Diane, your post got through the first time...it said: "Meow Meow Meow raoow tuna meow meow mm tuna Now Meow..."



Yes, my hair feels funny but past scritchy, it is on to soft brushy feel.

Hi everyone:

Sorry I have not responded to all the encouraging comments about my last post. I am in the "process" of finding my way. Here is where I am right now. I don't have to reconcile all the things I feel bad about. I an chosing to focus on the happy memories. I don't see this as denial, I just see it as reality. No one is perfect all the time or without fault and that includes our loved ones.

I'm commenting here about my dad because he could be a pretty hard task master when we were growing up. But I also have so many sweet memories of him, braiding my hair and telling me stories of the Tangle Man while he was doing it. Simply put, he was a good man and I can choose to remember the negative things or I can remember those things that really represented the soul of this person who was also finding his way in this world. That is exactly what I am going to do and I appreciate all of your comments about my last post as that really made me feel whole.

Christina: Thanks for your kind words.

Deef: Thank's for following up with me when I fell out and didn't respond. I appreciate it. I feel like you care and that means a lot to me.

Bobbie: Get well and be careful. Please be careful. I would like to know if you have ever been out on the ocean with your boat. Sounds like you have needed to take time to get her sea worthy, but now you have approached that time. Give us some insight about the sailing you have done on your boat. I want as many details as you have the energy to share. It's such a great adventure for all of us on this thread and it carries us off to so many places in our mind. You have been on such a journey. Please share it with us.

Stormy: Set your boundaries and put the rest of the burden on God. Ask him to take over the rest while you tend to your son.

Mame: Sending you lots of love. So glad you got some time to yourself. Enjoy every minute you can. Blessings to your mom. I so understand how lonely you can feel while care taking.

Meanwhile: I'm glad to know that my last post helped you in some small way. Second guessing is my middle name. It's a painful place to inhabit. You brought your husband happiness and you were by his side while he was ill. Don't second guess that, just accept that having you by his side was the greatest blessing to him.

Jen: House Alert. Wash those hands. I can't even imagine you would have to remind your mom to do that when it was so obviously needed. Gee, sometimes we just get so tired.

Diane: I am sending my prayers to you. You have been at your mom's side for so long and she has been better for your devotion. Keep a long distance from that bitch sister of yours. If I was by your side, I'd have my trusty 2 x 4 to keep her in line. Don't let her upset you. Keep as far away from her as you can.

With regard to the woman who died in assisted living. Aside from policy, here are some of the questions that went through my head. People talk about a DNR. What does DNR mean? I wasn't sure about it when my mom was so ill, but her doctor told me that it meant they would not take extraordinary efforts if she was dead; meaning if she didn't have a pulse, they wouldn't try to bring her back. Now that is different than assisting someone who is in a crisis. Trying to bring back someone who is no longer breathing and does not have a pulse, is different than aiding someone who has had a heart attack and needs help.

It's a really fine line and I'm not sure that the line is so clear. Amen on the benefits vs consequences of doing CPR on an elderly person who is still technically alive. Crushes ribs and a poor outcome just don't sound like a good mix. We all need to think about this. I'm not ready to kick the bucket just yet, but give me another 10 years or more and I might not be so quick to have some one intervene to save my life if I was dying. I'm not sure that is the same thing as do not resuscitate as that means I have already died.

Good discussion. Or Not.

Love you all, Cat

Hey ya'll just checking in. I will try to post to each one of you tomorrow. But I wanted to let ya'll know that I got the medical records on dad. He had 3 polyps. 2 of them were tubular adenomas and the size on them were 5 to 10 mm. The other one was a flat polyp and the size on it was 10 to 20 mm. The report says that the dr partially removed the polyp and that he marked the area with a tattoo. I have his blood levels and the red blood cells are still low from what they are suppose to be. He also had a ecg and that showed up as being abnormal. But that's all it said. He had a appt yesterday with gp and he ran more blood work to see if his hemoglobin was still decreasing. I guess we will find out tomorrow what it said. Well, I hope all of you are doing good. I think I am trying to get sick. I tried the new honey/cinnamon cold remedy tonight so I will let ya'll know if I can tell a difference in the a.m.
Deef- still feeling panicky, it was bad the other night and then woke up the same way. I think it is coming from the hypothyroidism. I think now I am in the throws of hyperthyroidism. I will be glad when she can get my levels fixed. ugh.... Nite all. Hugs stormy

Busy working, but I make sure I read everyone's posts before I go to bed. Deef, hope your shoulder gets better. Diane, sorry to hear about your Mom.
I heard on the news today, that the lady that died in the nursing home had a DNR. . Not sure I understand why you would call 911 in that situation?
Hugs all around. Love Shirley

Hey Diane!!! Tandem typing! Sad news about your mom, but she's just stubborn enough to hang on and give you what for!

Spent the morning cleaning Mom's apartment and getting her up and dressed and fed. Help came at noon today. It's her day off from daycare. Of course we are expecting some snow here, but not much. If school is canceled, that means no daycare and I'll have Mom all day tomorrow. So I plan on making potato leek soup if that is the case, and maybe do her bed clothes to freshen them up. She slept late this morning, so I took advantage and stayed in bed until my cat alarm went off!! At least he waited until 8:30 today!
I washed Mom's bathroom rugs today. She had piddled on them a few times, so...She was really good today and Erin said she ate very well all day. It's always nice to have a "good"day. My husband went to visit his dad again at rehab. He's doing very well. Walking around and dressing and shaving himself. The PT took him outside to walk this morning and he asked to go out again after lunch. I think he will be home for the weekend or by Monday the latest, as he has proven he can still take care of himself. At 102, he has lots of great stories and everyone there likes talking to him about his childhood and working on the building of the Quabbin Reservoir Dam, back in the 1930's. He remembers everything in great detail!
I'm still feeling a bit crappy. Not sure if I have a bug or if it's something else, but I sure hope I feel better tomorrow!
I started knitting a shawl tonight and the bottom border pattern is called Mexican Edging. It's a really pretty scalloped edging in a lacy pattern forming half circles with picot edging points. Sound confusing? It was to me at first, too! The pattern for each half circle starts out with 6 stitches and is 30 rows log! I have one 2/3 done, and I have to do 13 of these in all!!! 30 rows, 13 times! It's a good thing it starts with 6 stitches and increases to 23 stitches before going back down to 6.
Let me just say, I have a huge headache right now!! It will all be worth it when I finish the shawl and will get easier as I memorize the pattern.
Mame!!! Sounds like you had an exciting weekend!!! Good for you to actually get away overnight! We all know how hard it is to get that to happen! I think I will take your advice about copying before I submit from now on! Lost a couple huge posts recently. Nothing more maddening!
Jen, Peach fuzz!!! Doesn't it feel cool! When I first get my hair buzzed, I love the feel of the back of my head where it is shortest. It's kind of a shock at first touch, but then you get used to it and it feels pretty cool!
Sharyn, I don't know what to tell you. Mom had a scan too and they found nothing, but obviously there was something! If you are seeing the symptoms, then deal with them accordingly. If she gets progressively worse, then you will know. Scans and MRIs don't always show anything. Sorry, that is the nature of the disease. Hopefully you can get her doctor on board and get some meds going to help her out some. Good luck!
Diane? How are you doing? Mom still having her fits or is she behaving for you?
Bobbie!!! How is the sore body doing? My shoulder is killing me! If it keeps up, I will have to see the doctor and probably get an MRI to see if I tore it again. Damn, I sure don't want to go through that surgery again! The shoulder took 3 years to start feeling normal again! But with one tendon already gone, I can't have the other one destroyed by exposed bone in my shoulder. God, always something!
How's everyone else doing today? Shirley, Maxine, LilDeb, you overdue it yesterday? BJ, BPryor, Stormy, how's dad? Yogi!!! How are ya? Cat, you out enjoying yourself again? Linda!!! Kuli, how's your kitty? Okay, I know I must have missed someone, Mishka, how are you? That's all I have for now! Can't think of anyone else, but I'm sure someone will remind me if I missed them. Time to feed cats, check on Mom and maybe get to bed early. Night everyone!!

Let me try again to type my message from earlier. The cat will hopefully stay off the computer this time.
Sharynmarie, as far as I'm concerned "brain atrophy" is the same as showing signs of dementia. The only certain way to diagnose Alzheimers is by autopsy. Did the doc do any congnitive testing such as asking her age, what the year was, what town she lived in, remembering words and drawing a clock? these are all basic questions they use to test for dementia.I'm not sure how they can tell the difference from dementia and schizophrenia since some of the behaviors are similar.
The hospice nurse agrees with me that my mom has started the "pre-active stage of dying". This could last a week or six weeks but she is definitely exhibiting most of the behaviors described online. I told my brother to let my sister know. Well, she has decided to arrive tomorrow instead of next week. I've been tidying up some tonight but mom wouldn't let me vacuum or mop. I'll try get some done in the morning before I get to work. I'm very nervous about my sister's visit.

Mom has been very challenging with this latest phase. Yesterday she was extremely angry and called her caregiver every name in the book and was hitting, kicking and pinching. She at least ate very well at dinner time both yesterday and today. Her latest delusion is that my boyfriend is chasing her around the house and she is running away from him. Considering she can't even stand by herself, I just have to chuckle.

I've been thinking about everyone in MI,IN,NY,MA and all the other states suffering through the latest storm. Stay safe and warm. Somehow I can see Deef shoveling snow off the roof. Maybe she got a little sledding in this time.

I'm going to hit the bed and watch TV for awhile. Have a good night all!

Love ya,
Diane

If, while writing your post, you occasionally highlight the whole thing and then right click your post and click "copy" , you can then "paste" it back if you lose it and then you only lose what you have written since you last copied. I do it all the time...

I had a nice long message typed out and the damn cat jumped in my lap and it disappeared, here we go agin

Ok, all you caregivers who have a loved one with dementia. Have you had an MRI done and if so what were the results? The neurologist is saying the MRI on my mom show normal brain atrophy for her age but no dementia. I still say she has Alzheimer's which I thought could only be determined by autopsy. If she does not have Alzheimer's what could be going on with her other than schizophrenia that has gotten worse with age. I am at a loss here.

Mom

"Wash your hands really good, you have feces on Both hands!"

Fart Pants

"Well, hurumph...."

Mom

"Wash them both..."

Fart Pants

"Good Mornin' Jenny..."

Me

"sure it is..."

Oh Bobbie-I find it interesting few wanted to touch the question about the lady who died cause the nurse wouldn't do CPR. Media is all in it for the hype and what will sell. If nothing else, I hope it gets people to ask questions when they think about where to live and what they want. I hope the woman who died and the family and other residents were/are aware of the rule that CPR wouldn't be performed...or that they have DNRs etc. If it was understood and agreed to by all the parties involved then it really isn't news is it? If the nurse had performed CPR there would be trouble too. It is a no win situation.
Also, regarding Downton Abbey-I love the first season! And now have the second season coming on discs from Netflix. My nephew was going crazy on facebook about this (3rd) season-I can't wait to see what has happened to get everyone talking!!! When I am all caught up we can chat! haha. Mame

Hi all. Can't believe it is humpday already! Been very busy since Friday! Got to go grocery shopping and instead of feeling happy about "getting out" it was stressful. We needed so much and I felt like I was spending too much. My out of town bro stopped in and God help me, I love him but he acts like he is doing me this huge favor. First, I had the caregiver here who pretty much depends on the money I give her. He calls at the last minute and about an hour away, while I am at the store, so I have to let the caregiver know he will be here soon and she can go when he gets here. I was happy not to have to pay her as much but felt bad cause I know she needs it! He bought nice fish for dinner later and that was awesome. But when he left, he says, "well, I am glad you could get out" and I was thinking-do you want a thank you??? Ummm... I had it already planned and was out... Am I an ungreatful bitch or what? Why can't I just be happy he came and visited and blow off the other feelings? ugh. Saturday was busy here in the am with mom but I went to my inlaws later and hung out with hubby's sibs. It was fun. We spent the night so I had 24 hours off!! My one bro is great. He said he would stay with mom and then asked me what time I would be home on Sunday-and then he goes-"nevermind-it doesn't matter." Now he gets it! It ended up that my son wanted me to see a play he was in the orchestra for Sunday-so I went to that too! I felt so free! Hubby went home to relieve bro. He is not a play person... Funny-when mom woke up Sunday and bro was there and not me-she was very upset. She informed my bro that I had not told her I was spending the night (which I had) but also that I was "a little shit!" Boy did we laugh about that! When I got home she told me she was happy I had gotten away. A moment of clarity for her. sigh. Monday-Dr appt with hubby... Tues taxes! And here we are at Wed. I can't remember when I have been so busy or able to get out so many days in a row! Mom has been great health wise for her...it is just that darn memory! So funny-dad has been dead 13 years and when she looks at the pic of our fam from the 1970's she says she has no idea who that man in the picture is! She doesn't know us kids by name-but she seems to know we are hers...
So, Bobbie and Deef-no more getting hurt! Lildeb-glad to see you back here and please don't overdo! I know how hard that is tho. Cat, loved your post and am happy you can feel your brothers gratitude and validation. And that you have beautiful memories. Just concentrate on them! Meanwhile-that ride on your horse sounds so wonderful! Neat that you got to see an area you don't usually get to see! Jen, I saw a woman at the store Friday who had just shaved her head and I couldn't help staring thinking maybe it was you...but knowing you live across the country from me that is probably not going to be the case! She seemed very comfortable and it looked good! Deciding that I really can't afford to color my hair all the time, I have decided to go back to a more natural color (with some red in it tho!) and will then stop coloring... If it grows out like the blond was, I may shave my head too! Damn roots. Cuz-as usual-good ones! Thanks for the laugh. BJ, Austin, Stormy, Sharyn, Linda, BP and all the rest of you out there-HELLO!!!
Puppy is here and full of piss and vinegar...gotta go run em! Mom has been getting up earlier...not sure why...but it stinks cause then she is sleepy all day :(
Just grey and cloudy here. Possible 40's over the weekend. We will see! Happy hump day! Mame

BJ I have 6 sibs that never visit anymore. 3 are there if I need help or $$, but I have to call them and ask. Mom signed over the family house (it has 4 apartments) to me over 3 years ago. Prior to that it had been in trust to all her children for many years. My dad died young at 54 and everything was Mom's including the house I have lived in for all of my almost 62 years, accept for the first 2 years we were married. The elder lawyer felt it was best to sign it over to me while Mom was still somewhat capable and my sister,POA and oldest brother, health proxy, were there to agree. There is a law in this state that the house cannot be taken from a family member that is living there and caring for a parent.
that being said, I still have 2 sibs that were not happy that we decided to keep Mom home and in my care. I'm sure they were thinking of the $$ and house being split between us all when Mom dies. But my other 4 sibs say I deserve it after being here for Mom all these years. We'll see what happens when the time comes. as of now, all the LTC insurance is gone, but I managed to stretch that over 4 years by having her at home. Now the bank account is slowly going down, but it takes $$ to care for someone with late stage dementia and incontinence and meds and....
I'm pretty sure there will be none left to fight over! Our debt has doubled since I had to quit work 5 years ago and my husband lost his job 2 years ago. I have some rent coming in, and that barely covers the cost of keeping this 3 story monstrosity going. I just paid the quarterly water and sewer bill today, that was $400. The heat has been running around $1100 every 4 weeks. I get room and board from Mom, but it's not very much after I buy food for her. So if my sibs think I am stealing their inheritance, I can assure them I am not! They all have good jobs and expensive houses and cars and boats and take vacations to Jamaica, Florida, etc. I can't even get them to cover nights on a weekend so I can go away. It will be 2 years in June since I have gone anywhere overnight.
I'm like you, not materialistic, just trying to get by. And if one of my other sibs had stepped up to care for Mom, I would let them have anything that was left, because they would surely have earned it! And I know I would not have abandoned them like they have done to me!

oops ... "who HAS developed" (correction.) I have had my Mom for 31 years either living with me or in a house provided for her by us on our property. The most she's ever contributed (financially) is $100 per month to pay her own phone bill and trash bill. She has three small life insurance policies so she had me look at them a couple of weeks ago. Upon her passing, her life insurance is split 50-50 between my sister and me. Sister lives 6 miles away and sees Mom maybe twice a month. I am not upset at my sister about this because I'm not materialistic. However, should the situation be reversed, I could never take life insurance funds if my sister had taken care of (financially and otherwise) my mom for 31 years. It's my Mom's decision .... so be it.

My sister, who has developed a really cold attitude with Mom ... doesn't understand why I don't at least ask Mom to pay money towards 'rent' -- and I told her she doesn't understand. If Mom gave me $10 ... all of a sudden it would be HER house and it would be worse. At least I can still say ... Christmas is over, no Christmas Ducks on the table in the living room.