Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Diane, sorry your respite break didn't work out. Sound like your mom is related to my mil with the abandonment n sobbing stuff. I hope u r able to take a break for yourself at home so just maybe that nasty cough will go away so u can enjoy your weekend. I know easier said than done but, try to get some rest. Sending you a warm cyber hug. Shirley, 70mph wind is something! Have u seen any dirt tornadoes? Not sure what they r called but I have seen three small ones in a old crop field when traveling from GA to FL. I wander where the poor little bird go for shelter? I know I am weird thinking about the poor birds.
Concern Question Anyone: The mil been going to the bathroom a lot n one time I could hear cabinet doors shutting. My concern is that I am wandering if she is looking for something for her butt. Because, she would ask me about a suppository n I would tell her she has to wait until 8pm at night before she can have one. What do you do if u think she is plundering n bathroom for something n you don't won't her to put let say, Fixodent or something else back their on her butt that don't belong? I have one big wooden cabinet that cannot be removed n a few sliding drawers, two that r attached to the sink. She found out how to open the latch that I had on bottom door in her room. I feel I need to do something to protect her for their is not use n telling her Not to do it for she just forget within 15minutes. Help for some advice.
Stormy, u must be getting what we had yesterday with all that rain. I too heard that NY n Boston was suppose to get it real bad with that white stuff. Not sure if it was your dad or your sister's hubby with the long-term diabetes with the foot ulcer? Either way, I hope your sister is able to get some rest in between taking care of those two men. Deef, stay off the roof! It is too dangerous right now with all that snow. Cat, you r so right. Only one person that is perfect n it sure isn't any of us or anyone else on this Earth. Everyone n the nasty blizzard mess, please be careful. I hope everyone can have a peaceful weekend.
Deef, hope your daughter makes it home in the snow storm, and everyone is staying safe and warm. We have wind warnings here (up to 70 mph), but just blowing dust around, and it isn't cold. Mame, your son sounds great. It is hard to find anyone that can do physical work anymore. Sorry have to go, the dog won't leave me alone, she wants her supper. Take care, hope everyone has a good weekend, Love Shirley
Took mom to the Presbyterian Home an she freaked out! She sobbed and said I was abandoning her and that she could never trust me again, etc, etc, etc. I am emotionally exhausted plus getting sick. I'm coughing my head off and have a bad headache. So much for a fun respite. I will be at home since we can't afford to go anywhere, but at least I can take care of me. Stay safe and warm all of you in the path of the blizzard.
I miss the excitement of a big snowstorm. When I was 5 or so and it would snow and knock out the power, the morning after mom would use the Coleman stove on the back steps of the kitchen (row house) and make bacon. The aroma went up and down the alleyway and people would show up with coffee, etc. Wow. Ow. Sweet memories.
Sometimes I fight the feeling of being ripped off because I can't walk back into that memory. I know better. Space Time Continuum and all of that.
ok you guys stay safe and sound and if anyone gives you any sh!t break out the flyswatter.
Just got word the state is shutting down roads at 4PM. My daughter is working a half hour away from here and was supposed to work until 4. I sure hope they get the message and shut the store down in time for everyone to get home before 4. It's still snowing lightly and the wind is blowing pretty good. I just topped off the birdfeeders as they have been feeding like crazy since the snow started. It's supposed to get really heavy after 3 and stay like that for quite a while. Got my cellphone, camera and e-reader all charging just in case the power goes out. I have a feeling there will be some great pictures waiting to be taken! If we lose power, we can all stay upstairs with my daughter who has an old gas and gas stove in the kitchen for heat, and an old gas room furnace in the living room. So they will have heat and can cook too! And there is always beer on tap! Now we just have to do some nail biting while waiting for my daughter to get home! Catch everyone later!
Hi everyone. Not much to say today and a lot to do. Waiting for the snow to reach us. We are only expecting 9 inches... darn... was wishing for a good blizzard! Schools are closing after school activities around here so I guess that is when we should start seeing the snow! Walked the dogs early and ran out to buy bird seed. It went up in price a lot! Hope the deer don't return and eat it!!!
Deef-be careful on the roof! If it is a wet snow it will be heavy on the roof-so I understand the need to get it off. Do you have a roof rake or is your roof flat? Keep us posted! Flex-ENJOY your respite!!!! I am happy for you. Lildeb and Sharyn-I completely understand the concerns of having people in your home...I am so lucky to have a great neighbor-for the winter months anyway-who comes. And mom loves her! (She does seasonal work in spring/summer.) The daycare has worked out $$ wise cause mom is such a late sleeper so she only goes half days...I just wish it was closer to us. Nothing and no one is perfect-(except us of course-when it comes to taking care of our loved ones anyway)!!! It is not easy to take that plunge and have a stranger in your house. I took pictures of anything of value of mom's and hid stuff etc when I did have a lady I didn't know coming in. It made me feel better... We even thought about placing cameras around to make sure they were taking good care of her... then I found the daycare and my neighbor...less anxiety for me. Grouse all you want Jen! Get it out!!! We are here for ya! Tahiti-take me away!
Cat, thanks... I always worry if I mention God or Jesus ppl will think I am a bible thumper or something... I am not. I do believe and go to Church and I would never want to push it on anyone-but sometimes it just fits! And Stormy-whether it is a devotional religious book or just a positive thinking book it can help to improve a mood or outlook! Anything to help us get thru the day!
Well, I thought I didn't have much to say but I guess I did. ;) Stay warm and safe and dry everyone! Hugs to everyone! Mame
My heart is breaking in a million pieces. Yesterday was my mom's 84 birthday and she didn't know it. I told her it was her birthday but it only registered a minute before she on to something else. Humor....the first time her personality disorder didn't demand to be the center of attention...but a sad change in her personality. She is very dependent upon me...I took her to the dentist this morning. The receptionist gave her a form to fill out updating health info. Mom was lost...the receptionist said if you are healthy just write healthy here and sign it. My mom looked at me and said, "You do it." The receptionist said just write healthy and sign your name but put daughter in ()...so I did. Tomorrow sis takes her to cardiologist appt. Mom has the artery to one kidney that is 90^% blocked so dr. does routine blood work to check kidney function since a surgery on it is not always beneficial. Monday is the appt. with neurologist for evaluation. I also made appt. to tour a senior living facility that afternoon. They can place mom in a memory care unit where she can have her precious toy poodle Midget with her. Haven't heard from sis if she is going to go with me for the tour but I told her we need to plan ahead because even if the neurologist diagnoses mom as incompetent, we need to be prepared because it may still be another 2-3 months before we get a court hearing for a judge to decide final outcome. I have decided I don't want home health care because of issues of theft, continuity of aids that will be developing a relationship with my mom (quitting after a few months, etc) and overall treatment of my mother when we are not there. I have been very depressed and trying to not post on this site because I am trying to keep my emotions from not being on the surface all the time, but I had to share this because I have no where else to vent.
Flex~I loved your post about me looking like your avatar, but it is too late, I already do and I am not caregiving 24/7/365, Hahaha!! Humor is great and it relives stress!!
Mame: Thanks for the reminder that even Jesus was wanting a way out. That's something to ponder and it's a comfort too. We are just not perfect, but we do our best.
lil' deb- I am glad that you got some rest and that is too funny about the toes. You never know next time you might be kicking up them legs like you are trying to run away. lol Hugs Deef- Girl, you better stay off of that roof! You don't need to fall off and break something. The snow will melt sooner or later, given it might be later. Where do you live at anyway. I saw on the news tonight where boston is suppose to get 2 feet of snow. Hell, we can't even get 2 inches here. It's raining like cats and dogs outside now. Please be careful and stay warm!!! Hugs Jen- Thanks for the idea about thinking about how it will be after he, you know..... I will try that. It can't hurt. I guess we have to hang on to something, right? Hugs Mame- I know I have been trying to read in the bible some. It gave me real comfort after my mom died. And sis has been getting these books (religion ones) like daily devotions and this one I read for each day. She has it at dads and it always seems like it is talking about what is going on with me for that day. I really like that one. And she has a new one that I just saw the other day, she keeps them in the bathroom. And it just makes me think that she is having a hard time with something, whether its work, dad, or her husband's health issues. He is a diabetic, been taking insulin shots for probably 35 years and he is trying to recover from some serious diabetic ulcers that he has on his foot. She has been having to pack the wounds to try to get them to heal up. So I know she is having a hard time between dad and her hubbby. Hugs Diane- Have fun on your trip! Hugs Cat- Hey there, what's up? Well, I guess I better get off of here and get in the bed. I will chat later with ya'll. Thank you all for all of the love and support you have given to me. Sending all of you cyber hugs!!!! Love, Stormy.
Stormy, sending u a few cyber hugs n yes, I got some rest. I only had to get up twice to tinkle. Like you wanted to hear all that. For some reason though my toes feel like they twitch n hubby caught me doing it last night n bed. It only happens n bed, go figure. Maybe I am trying to run away from all the problems at my house. lol. No such luck. Bob, lol. I knew I was a little nutty sometimes. We all have to be in this line of work. : ) I hope u r doing fine n you have your boat starting to look new again with all that work you have put into it. Mame, I have done some searching n only found a couple places which r really asst. living that has a day they can spend n they want $100.00 for 8hrs. That just seems a bit much. I did find one Day Care however, its not a place for people who have AD. So, I e-mailed my local Alz association to see if she may have a list for Day Care Centers for people with AD. I also thought about the 'In-home companion sitter n just put the cats n back room n dogs out the back yard. Then put a pad lock on hubby n my bedroom door for we have 2 safes that can walk out the door n other stuff. Plus, you want to get someone that u can trust that wont be abusive with the mil n it just so hard to trust anyone now days. You just hear so much crap with caregivers n babysitters. However, I do know I need to do something asap. Hopefully, I will hear back from my local Alz association n if not I guess I will have to give a call. Everyone stay warm n dry.
Deef: Stay safe in the storm. I don't really like the idea of you being on the roof clearing snow. Sounds pretty scary to me. Glad your mom is doing better with the new sugar restrictions. Enjoy your knitting and stay safe.
Mame, after being married to the same man for 40 years, I would welcome him going to a warmer place and me having some peace and QUIET!!!! Plus he's a hypochondriac of the worse kind!!! I'll take Mom any day. At least she has 2 good excuses for being the way she is! Wow Diane!!! Hope you make the most of your time off from mom! Never mind what needs doing and just spoil yourself all 5 days!!! Jen, Guess I should have invented that butt scraper we talked about a couple years ago. I could be rich by now and actually enjoying my old age! Well, from the looks of it we are in for 20 inches or more in this area. Then rain right after that. So, looks like we will be 3 stories up on the roof shoveling the snow off before it freezes or the rain hits. SIL started up the snow blower when he got home today, so that's all set. We decided on the parking order in the long driveway so we can get to the sidewalk with the snow blower. The house has a short driveway on my side that fits one car. The long driveway on the other side of the house fits 5 cars. The lot is small and both sides are closed in by fences along the driveways and the front of the house is right on the sidewalk. So we have to leave the shorter drive open to get the snow blower to the front to clean out the sidewalk which by town ordinance has to be done within 24 hours. Then it's a process to clean in front of and behind the end cars so we have somewhere to move them to get to the rest of the snow in between. No matter what, all the snow has to go to either the back of the house, or off the edge of the sidewalk in front until there is no more room for it. What's in the middle gets thrown over the 6' fence into the neighboring yard which is basically a parking lot for the tenants. It's not easy to clean up after a big storm when there is no "wiggle" room. I'm going to park my car on the lawn just so there is room to clean behind the other 4 cars. Gone are the days of 1 car families! I don't relish climbing my overweight butt out the small attic window to do the roof, but I'll manage somehow. Good thing I love to be outside in the snow! Realized what time it was and had to go give Mom her pills and get her to bed. Just took the laundry out of the dryer and now I'm going to clean up the supper dishes then go and wind all the wool yarn I bought the other day. Got some cool colors to knit into felted bags. May go to bed early again tonight. Pretty tired!
Hi Crew, I'm still here, just extremely busy. I'm supposed to take mom tomorrow to the Presbyterian Home so I can get 5 days of respite. I am nervous how she will react since she has been very agitated here at home. Just too tired to write much. Have a good night and stay safe and warm.
I saw a house hunters show last night and they went to Tahiti and had stuff to complain about in a million dollar home...It's all relative ain't it?....
over night bag body bag what ever.
Understand stormy, you are a good person and many people would like it to be over whether from the stress or the pain of watching a loved one suffer. I don't see the wrong in it. but that is me. if you feel icky about the thoughts maybe try and catch them as they come and turn them to something else like good times from before and what may come after..after you know...
Saw the weather channel yesterday and know east coast is gonna get some major snow, hope it is the low end for everyone, I have an elderly pen pan in Cambridge and hope her fam is keeping an eye on her... Stay warm and well stocked Deef! Ya never know....what will the cats do locally?
Linda's right, a bad person would either not care at all neglect what has to be done or actually put the one being cared for in harms way. Just wanting to be done with it is human nature, who wants misery to be extended! that is nuts...
Speaking of bs...mom lets dog in, "Monty your drinking a lot of water this morning, you didn't get your insulin this morning did you?" She says loud and leading...YES, I didn't get out of bed, sore back, TIRED and menstrual hut just started , but I got up an hour ago and Just gave him his shot! which I told her.... "oh..." yes "Oh.." "Oh just shut the Hell up!" is more like it. Here's one, YOU have not givin' fart pants a bath in two week and he has smeared shit all over the toilet twice already so he is coated good...so lets not point fingers at who is slackin' off here. and he has the funds she could hire yes stranger to come in an handle him in the bathing bits...
Deef-our husbands can move to Florida together! We can go visit once in a while! My hubby is ALWAYS cold and by the end of winter I am soooo sick of hearing it!!! I am always hot-not sure if it is the extra weight I am carrying or what but when hubby turns the heat up I am sweating! UGH. The change in your mom re:surgar is amazing! So glad for you both! We are that much farther west for this storm that we will probably only get 1/2 of what you get. And they are calling for rain here next week too...ick... Bunker down and enjoy! Hope your help can make it! Mame
Hi All! Expecting a decent amount of snow here in CNY tomorrow (Friday)and especially tomorrow night! I have no where to go and hubby will be home from work early tomorrow-so anything goes! :) Warm and snug as a bug in a rug!
Stormy, I always feel bad when I wish for the end too. I have asked God to forgive my thoughts but I feel He understands. If you are a believer in Jesus-He wanted out of what He had to do too! I find, that when there is something extra going on or I am extremely tired, the thought comes up more cause I am overwhelmed... so now, when I think it, I just tell myself, "you are tired" or "stressed". Somehow, it makes me feel better about myself. My husband always say that my "bucket is full to the brim-and when one more thing is added-the stress or tired...it spills over" Funny thing is, this saying works for many things! He has allergies and we always say his bucket is full of them and when one more allergin or trigger is added-he has a coughing fit or asthma attack. Anyway... I understand what you are saying and how you feel. I would like to tell you not to be too hard on yourself. What would you tell a best friend if she came to you with those feelings? Be your own best friend! And, I think it is a good idea to get proof for your sister if you feel it will help you to be able to say-I don't feel safe caring for him this summer with Connor around so I am not going to...or I feel he needs to go into a NH etc. Do what you have to do-and make no apologies... Be strong Stormy! And like Cat-I am behind ya too!
Linda-I have to admit, I remember the chiggers story too! I thought that was a riot and have worn long pants when gardening instead of shorts since I read that!!! And, I am one of those ppl you mentioned that says F it-I'm not doing anything today! Sometimes I just don't have the "horsepower" (as Bobbi says) to do anything but what I absolutely have to do. And that is care for mom...
Can I borrow one of those sledge hammers when the time comes Jen??? :) Ya know, I was thinking that altho you had to go farther with old FP across lanes of traffic...your mom saying it is such an ordeal to bring him two blocks may say that she is tired of all this and exhausted and has no energy....It is hard on all of us all the time.... I am sorry for you both Jen. FP in an overnight bag??? haha
Cuz-you have relieved many of our minds telling us about the doors! ;)
Lildeb-you are amazing staying on top of all these details for mil! I wish you could have 3 hours for yourself and not doing the Dr errands for her! But, you got out and got them done... Hope you reach the % you need on the meds for your taxes! We'll keep the snow here for ya!
Mom is good and looking forward to the snow since I have assured her we don't need to go anywhere. She gets so anxious sometimes about the weather. Her brother actually called her from FL yesterday! He goes down every winter. We don't usually hear from him so that was nice. She did ok with the conversation but faked a lot of it. But it made her happy to hear from him so that is all that really matters. Me? Well-I am glad I have all of you to talk to!!!! Takes me away from the monotony of this life! Thanks for being here and hellooo to all! Mame
Looks like we are finally going to get some major snow here! Went food shopping yesterday and have to head out for Mom supplies and scripts for my husband, Mom and myself. Still have to make sure snow blower is set to go. My sil is off tomorrow and all the youngins are home on the weekend, so hopefully I won't have to do too much shoveling. I'm still amazed at the difference in Mom since I stopped the extra sugar in her diet! Merry wasn't happy when I told her no more chocolate glazed donuts, candy bars, etc. She didn't believe me when I told her sugar is not good for dementia. I told her to Google it. Also, her urine has not been this clear in recent memory. So I'm hoping the UTIs will occur less and less. No more sugar for that bacteria to feed on!! Mom is less confused, actually makes sense when she talks, and is less agitated. She eats so much better. Opens her mouth without much prompting and actually finishes a meal in less than a half hour!! Barb, how are you and Mom? Haven't heard from you in a week. Hope her doctor visit on Monday was helpful. Let us know how you are doing, please! Cuz, I love the white stuff too! My husband complains about the cold all the time and would prefer a warmer climate, but I'm not moving! Love my N.E. weather!! Stormy, we have all had those thoughts. You are not alone there! Hope you can resolve this issue with your dad so you can move on with your life. Mame, I hated monitors too! I would hear all these noises and run to check on Mom, only to find her sound asleep! I like the cameras much better. I can see her at all times and can turn the sound OFF! Sorry your car got wrecked! Hope it doesn't get totaled. Times are tough for our age group and the future doesn't look too promising for us. LilDeb, You have your hands full with MIL. Even though my mom has PD and dementia, her general health is excellent and she need only see her doctor 2 times a year, unless there is an emergency. There is a product made by Nestle called Benecalorie. It's a tasteless liquid in a cup the size of coffee creamer, and packs a whopping 300+ calories! You can add it to food or drink for weight gain. It's not cheap, but if it adds weight without the hassle, it's worth it. Cheapest I've seen it is Walmart and Walgreens, but you have to order it online. Going to get some for Mom now that she has the $$ to pay for it. Linda!!! Chiggers!!! I remember that story. It was the first time I had ever heard of the little buggers! Bobbie!!! It was 10 degrees this morning when I took mom to daycare! Jen, Nothing like a bald, demented man with long strings of hair hanging from a few spots on his head!!! Very stylish!!! Okay, laundry to do, errands to run before I get Mom from daycare. That will be closed tomorrow, so, sigh, I will be on my own with her all day. I'm sure my class on Saturday will be canceled too! I was really looking forward to it, but I won't be traveling 45 minutes in the snow! Now I just have to hope my help can get shoveled out and here to watch Mom on Saturday. I'll need the break by then! So far they are talking about 12 to 18" here and maybe even 2 feet. I sure hope not because they are saying rain after the weekend and that would mean clearing off the roofs again!
Cat- I know that deep down I am not a bad person. Its just that I use to be optimistic about things, life in general and now things are just so blah............ I just feel like this caregiving has changed me. I know that you will be behind me, supporting me and that means alot to me. Love you too! Stormy Linda- I know their are others here that wish that love ones would go ahead and pass on, but to me in my mind it just feels wrong, even if I do wish it. Thanks, Linda. I did talk to the granddaughter yesterday, and I asked her, "Was there anything else different about dad, like his demeaner when he was acting like that to her?" And she just told me that it just didn't look like papa there. She said that he was grinning really big, that she could see all of his teeth. Bobbie, I thought about you and what you said the other day about holding someones teeth. Then I mentioned to the granddaughter about what if her and I went to dads one morning and I go in the back door of the house and she goes in the front door. And she goes in and sits down and asks dad for his truck keys and I have a video camera watching to see what he does. She said ok lets do it. So by her saying that it was kinda like she was saying that she is not lying about this and she wants to prove that what she is saying is true. I just feel like if she was lying about it all then she never would have agreed to go up there. And if dad starts acting funny again she can just get up and leave and I will have proof and I can show it to sis. Cause right now I just think that sis is hiding from it she doesn't want to admit that something could be going on with dad. I mean he will be 80 next month. I just don't want to think that my neice (the granddaughter) could be lying about something like this. But I don't know of any other way to find out the truth. I have not said anything to sis about us doing this. Cause she would be pissed about it. But at least this way we would know. Well, I guess I will talk with ya'll later. Take care everyone. Love and hugs stormy
stormy - i did wish that my dad would die sooner . it pains me to watch him wasting his life away in bed . i kept askin lord what kind of life is this ? this is no way to live .... jen wishes that too for fp . we re not the only one . im sure theres tons of young ones wishing that ... ah hell i ll put chiggars in the over night bag , baaahahaha u had me grinnin and cant believe u remmy about the chiggards crawlin up my woo woo area . baahahaha , its a comin soon . whoops . deef - u huperactive girl and that is good ! u go with the flow daily . alot of time i say ah fk it i aint doing nuthing today . i love ya deef ! zoom zoom :-) . enjoy knitting ... austin _ meow ... love u all . im ok . xoxo
Stormy: There is nothing wrong you: never has been!!!! You are not a bad person for feeling the way you feel. I wish I could make it easy for you, but I can't. You have to stand your ground. I'll be behind you, backing you up every step of the way and I know everyone else here will too. Love you, Cat.
As a piper, I play many events...sometimes weddings, but more often funerals. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for an old hermit, who had lived by himself in a cabin in the woods, as long as anyone could remember. He had no family or friends that anyone knew about; so the service was to be in an isolated area, on a back-road in the hilly countryside.
As I was not familiar with the area, I got lost; and being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late, and saw that the funeral guy had evidently gone, and the hearse was nowhere in sight.
There were only diggers and crew left, and they were eating lunch. I felt badly, and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave opening and looked down. It appeared that the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I warmed up my bagpipes and started to play.
As as I started to play "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "Sweet mudder of Jesus, I never seen nuthin' like dat before, and I been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was? Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what's known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next.Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.
Thank goodness for studies like this. It's not our age, it's that stupid door!
Thanx for all the b-day wishes. lildeb I just watched the news and the forcast is another 4-8" for thursday and friday. No wonder my brother is taking ma to Florida. Thats ok I like the white stuff. Talked to some friends of ours that live in the upper part of Mi by the Soo and they have 3' on the level right now and more comin
Jen- glad you were able to air the house out maybe fp will leave again soon so you can do it again. lil deb- I hope you are able to get some rest tonite, sounds like you had a very busy day. Zoomdots- Hey there! Deef- You be careful in all that white stuff! Cuz- Sorry I am late with the happy birthday wishes, but I hope they all come true! Meanwhile- I need to borrow your jacket, have you got anymore to spare? Bobbie- How's the ankle doing? All better I hope. Sharyn- Thank You!!! Mame- Thank you for your advice, I do appreciate it. If I have forgotten anyone I am truly sorry. Thank you all for the advice and support you have given me.It means so much to me. Love and hugs stormy
Hi all Cat- I know you understand me and how this is affecting my life. I know I should quit wishing for him to die. I have told myself that so many times that I can't even count them anymore. And it doesn't help my feelings about myself when I am wishing for him to pass. Sometimes I feel like I am at war with myself. Like I am part evil and part good. I guess I just feel like if he passes then that will be the only way I will be free from all the worrying. I know it sounds bad but its how I feel. Thanks Cat, Hugs to you, Love Stormy. I am sending this message before I lose it. Computer acting funny.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Shirley, 70mph wind is something! Have u seen any dirt tornadoes? Not sure what they r called but I have seen three small ones in a old crop field when traveling from GA to FL. I wander where the poor little bird go for shelter? I know I am weird thinking about the poor birds.
Concern Question Anyone: The mil been going to the bathroom a lot n one time I could hear cabinet doors shutting. My concern is that I am wandering if she is looking for something for her butt. Because, she would ask me about a suppository n I would tell her she has to wait until 8pm at night before she can have one. What do you do if u think she is plundering n bathroom for something n you don't won't her to put let say, Fixodent or something else back their on her butt that don't belong? I have one big wooden cabinet that cannot be removed n a few sliding drawers, two that r attached to the sink. She found out how to open the latch that I had on bottom door in her room. I feel I need to do something to protect her for their is not use n telling her Not to do it for she just forget within 15minutes. Help for some advice.
Deef, stay off the roof! It is too dangerous right now with all that snow.
Cat, you r so right. Only one person that is perfect n it sure isn't any of us or anyone else on this Earth.
Everyone n the nasty blizzard mess, please be careful. I hope everyone can have a peaceful weekend.
We have wind warnings here (up to 70 mph), but just blowing dust around, and it isn't cold.
Mame, your son sounds great. It is hard to find anyone that can do physical work anymore.
Sorry have to go, the dog won't leave me alone, she wants her supper.
Take care, hope everyone has a good weekend, Love Shirley
Love ya,
Diane
Hope your daughter made it home in time.
I miss the excitement of a big snowstorm.
When I was 5 or so and it would snow and knock out the power, the morning after mom would use the Coleman stove on the back steps of the kitchen (row house) and make bacon.
The aroma went up and down the alleyway and people would show up with coffee, etc. Wow. Ow.
Sweet memories.
Sometimes I fight the feeling of being ripped off because I can't walk back into that memory. I know better.
Space Time Continuum and all of that.
ok you guys stay safe and sound and if anyone gives you any sh!t break out the flyswatter.
lovbob
It's still snowing lightly and the wind is blowing pretty good. I just topped off the birdfeeders as they have been feeding like crazy since the snow started. It's supposed to get really heavy after 3 and stay like that for quite a while. Got my cellphone, camera and e-reader all charging just in case the power goes out. I have a feeling there will be some great pictures waiting to be taken!
If we lose power, we can all stay upstairs with my daughter who has an old gas and gas stove in the kitchen for heat, and an old gas room furnace in the living room. So they will have heat and can cook too! And there is always beer on tap!
Now we just have to do some nail biting while waiting for my daughter to get home! Catch everyone later!
Deef-be careful on the roof! If it is a wet snow it will be heavy on the roof-so I understand the need to get it off. Do you have a roof rake or is your roof flat? Keep us posted!
Flex-ENJOY your respite!!!! I am happy for you.
Lildeb and Sharyn-I completely understand the concerns of having people in your home...I am so lucky to have a great neighbor-for the winter months anyway-who comes. And mom loves her! (She does seasonal work in spring/summer.) The daycare has worked out $$ wise cause mom is such a late sleeper so she only goes half days...I just wish it was closer to us. Nothing and no one is perfect-(except us of course-when it comes to taking care of our loved ones anyway)!!! It is not easy to take that plunge and have a stranger in your house. I took pictures of anything of value of mom's and hid stuff etc when I did have a lady I didn't know coming in. It made me feel better... We even thought about placing cameras around to make sure they were taking good care of her... then I found the daycare and my neighbor...less anxiety for me.
Grouse all you want Jen! Get it out!!! We are here for ya! Tahiti-take me away!
Cat, thanks... I always worry if I mention God or Jesus ppl will think I am a bible thumper or something... I am not. I do believe and go to Church and I would never want to push it on anyone-but sometimes it just fits! And Stormy-whether it is a devotional religious book or just a positive thinking book it can help to improve a mood or outlook! Anything to help us get thru the day!
Well, I thought I didn't have much to say but I guess I did. ;) Stay warm and safe and dry everyone! Hugs to everyone! Mame
Flex~I loved your post about me looking like your avatar, but it is too late, I already do and I am not caregiving 24/7/365, Hahaha!! Humor is great and it relives stress!!
Deef- Girl, you better stay off of that roof! You don't need to fall off and break something. The snow will melt sooner or later, given it might be later. Where do you live at anyway. I saw on the news tonight where boston is suppose to get 2 feet of snow. Hell, we can't even get 2 inches here. It's raining like cats and dogs outside now. Please be careful and stay warm!!! Hugs
Jen- Thanks for the idea about thinking about how it will be after he, you know..... I will try that. It can't hurt. I guess we have to hang on to something, right? Hugs
Mame- I know I have been trying to read in the bible some. It gave me real comfort after my mom died. And sis has been getting these books (religion ones) like daily devotions and this one I read for each day. She has it at dads and it always seems like it is talking about what is going on with me for that day. I really like that one. And she has a new one that I just saw the other day, she keeps them in the bathroom. And it just makes me think that she is having a hard time with something, whether its work, dad, or her husband's health issues. He is a diabetic, been taking insulin shots for probably 35 years and he is trying to recover from some serious diabetic ulcers that he has on his foot. She has been having to pack the wounds to try to get them to heal up. So I know she is having a hard time between dad and her hubbby. Hugs
Diane- Have fun on your trip! Hugs
Cat- Hey there, what's up?
Well, I guess I better get off of here and get in the bed. I will chat later with ya'll. Thank you all for all of the love and support you have given to me. Sending all of you cyber hugs!!!! Love, Stormy.
Bob, lol. I knew I was a little nutty sometimes. We all have to be in this line of work. : ) I hope u r doing fine n you have your boat starting to look new again with all that work you have put into it.
Mame, I have done some searching n only found a couple places which r really asst. living that has a day they can spend n they want $100.00 for 8hrs. That just seems a bit much. I did find one Day Care however, its not a place for people who have AD. So, I e-mailed my local Alz association to see if she may have a list for Day Care Centers for people with AD.
I also thought about the 'In-home companion sitter n just put the cats n back room n dogs out the back yard. Then put a pad lock on hubby n my bedroom door for we have 2 safes that can walk out the door n other stuff.
Plus, you want to get someone that u can trust that wont be abusive with the mil n it just so hard to trust anyone now days. You just hear so much crap with caregivers n babysitters. However, I do know I need to do something asap. Hopefully, I will hear back from my local Alz association n if not I guess I will have to give a call.
Everyone stay warm n dry.
Jen, loved the body bag.
Cat
Wow Diane!!! Hope you make the most of your time off from mom! Never mind what needs doing and just spoil yourself all 5 days!!!
Jen, Guess I should have invented that butt scraper we talked about a couple years ago. I could be rich by now and actually enjoying my old age!
Well, from the looks of it we are in for 20 inches or more in this area. Then rain right after that. So, looks like we will be 3 stories up on the roof shoveling the snow off before it freezes or the rain hits. SIL started up the snow blower when he got home today, so that's all set. We decided on the parking order in the long driveway so we can get to the sidewalk with the snow blower. The house has a short driveway on my side that fits one car. The long driveway on the other side of the house fits 5 cars. The lot is small and both sides are closed in by fences along the driveways and the front of the house is right on the sidewalk. So we have to leave the shorter drive open to get the snow blower to the front to clean out the sidewalk which by town ordinance has to be done within 24 hours. Then it's a process to clean in front of and behind the end cars so we have somewhere to move them to get to the rest of the snow in between. No matter what, all the snow has to go to either the back of the house, or off the edge of the sidewalk in front until there is no more room for it. What's in the middle gets thrown over the 6' fence into the neighboring yard which is basically a parking lot for the tenants. It's not easy to clean up after a big storm when there is no "wiggle" room. I'm going to park my car on the lawn just so there is room to clean behind the other 4 cars. Gone are the days of 1 car families!
I don't relish climbing my overweight butt out the small attic window to do the roof, but I'll manage somehow. Good thing I love to be outside in the snow!
Realized what time it was and had to go give Mom her pills and get her to bed. Just took the laundry out of the dryer and now I'm going to clean up the supper dishes then go and wind all the wool yarn I bought the other day. Got some cool colors to knit into felted bags.
May go to bed early again tonight. Pretty tired!
I'm still here, just extremely busy. I'm supposed to take mom tomorrow to the Presbyterian Home so I can get 5 days of respite. I am nervous how she will react since she has been very agitated here at home. Just too tired to write much. Have a good night and stay safe and warm.
over night bag body bag what ever.
Understand stormy, you are a good person and many people would like it to be over whether from the stress or the pain of watching a loved one suffer. I don't see the wrong in it. but that is me. if you feel icky about the thoughts maybe try and catch them as they come and turn them to something else like good times from before and what may come after..after you know...
Saw the weather channel yesterday and know east coast is gonna get some major snow, hope it is the low end for everyone, I have an elderly pen pan in Cambridge and hope her fam is keeping an eye on her...
Stay warm and well stocked Deef! Ya never know....what will the cats do locally?
Linda's right, a bad person would either not care at all neglect what has to be done or actually put the one being cared for in harms way. Just wanting to be done with it is human nature, who wants misery to be extended! that is nuts...
Speaking of bs...mom lets dog in, "Monty your drinking a lot of water this morning, you didn't get your insulin this morning did you?" She says loud and leading...YES, I didn't get out of bed, sore back, TIRED and menstrual hut just started , but I got up an hour ago and Just gave him his shot! which I told her....
"oh..." yes "Oh.." "Oh just shut the Hell up!" is more like it. Here's one, YOU have not givin' fart pants a bath in two week and he has smeared shit all over the toilet twice already so he is coated good...so lets not point fingers at who is slackin' off here. and he has the funds she could hire yes stranger to come in an handle him in the bathing bits...
grouse grouse grouse yes, you know...Jen
The change in your mom re:surgar is amazing! So glad for you both!
We are that much farther west for this storm that we will probably only get 1/2 of what you get. And they are calling for rain here next week too...ick...
Bunker down and enjoy! Hope your help can make it! Mame
Stormy, I always feel bad when I wish for the end too. I have asked God to forgive my thoughts but I feel He understands. If you are a believer in Jesus-He wanted out of what He had to do too! I find, that when there is something extra going on or I am extremely tired, the thought comes up more cause I am overwhelmed... so now, when I think it, I just tell myself, "you are tired" or "stressed". Somehow, it makes me feel better about myself. My husband always say that my "bucket is full to the brim-and when one more thing is added-the stress or tired...it spills over" Funny thing is, this saying works for many things! He has allergies and we always say his bucket is full of them and when one more allergin or trigger is added-he has a coughing fit or asthma attack. Anyway... I understand what you are saying and how you feel. I would like to tell you not to be too hard on yourself. What would you tell a best friend if she came to you with those feelings? Be your own best friend! And, I think it is a good idea to get proof for your sister if you feel it will help you to be able to say-I don't feel safe caring for him this summer with Connor around so I am not going to...or I feel he needs to go into a NH etc. Do what you have to do-and make no apologies... Be strong Stormy! And like Cat-I am behind ya too!
Linda-I have to admit, I remember the chiggers story too! I thought that was a riot and have worn long pants when gardening instead of shorts since I read that!!! And, I am one of those ppl you mentioned that says F it-I'm not doing anything today! Sometimes I just don't have the "horsepower" (as Bobbi says) to do anything but what I absolutely have to do. And that is care for mom...
Can I borrow one of those sledge hammers when the time comes Jen??? :) Ya know, I was thinking that altho you had to go farther with old FP across lanes of traffic...your mom saying it is such an ordeal to bring him two blocks may say that she is tired of all this and exhausted and has no energy....It is hard on all of us all the time.... I am sorry for you both Jen. FP in an overnight bag??? haha
Cuz-you have relieved many of our minds telling us about the doors! ;)
Lildeb-you are amazing staying on top of all these details for mil! I wish you could have 3 hours for yourself and not doing the Dr errands for her! But, you got out and got them done... Hope you reach the % you need on the meds for your taxes! We'll keep the snow here for ya!
Mom is good and looking forward to the snow since I have assured her we don't need to go anywhere. She gets so anxious sometimes about the weather. Her brother actually called her from FL yesterday! He goes down every winter. We don't usually hear from him so that was nice. She did ok with the conversation but faked a lot of it. But it made her happy to hear from him so that is all that really matters.
Me? Well-I am glad I have all of you to talk to!!!! Takes me away from the monotony of this life! Thanks for being here and hellooo to all! Mame
Still have to make sure snow blower is set to go. My sil is off tomorrow and all the youngins are home on the weekend, so hopefully I won't have to do too much shoveling.
I'm still amazed at the difference in Mom since I stopped the extra sugar in her diet! Merry wasn't happy when I told her no more chocolate glazed donuts, candy bars, etc. She didn't believe me when I told her sugar is not good for dementia. I told her to Google it. Also, her urine has not been this clear in recent memory. So I'm hoping the UTIs will occur less and less. No more sugar for that bacteria to feed on!! Mom is less confused, actually makes sense when she talks, and is less agitated. She eats so much better. Opens her mouth without much prompting and actually finishes a meal in less than a half hour!!
Barb, how are you and Mom? Haven't heard from you in a week. Hope her doctor visit on Monday was helpful. Let us know how you are doing, please!
Cuz, I love the white stuff too! My husband complains about the cold all the time and would prefer a warmer climate, but I'm not moving! Love my N.E. weather!!
Stormy, we have all had those thoughts. You are not alone there! Hope you can resolve this issue with your dad so you can move on with your life.
Mame, I hated monitors too! I would hear all these noises and run to check on Mom, only to find her sound asleep! I like the cameras much better. I can see her at all times and can turn the sound OFF! Sorry your car got wrecked! Hope it doesn't get totaled. Times are tough for our age group and the future doesn't look too promising for us.
LilDeb, You have your hands full with MIL. Even though my mom has PD and dementia, her general health is excellent and she need only see her doctor 2 times a year, unless there is an emergency. There is a product made by Nestle called Benecalorie. It's a tasteless liquid in a cup the size of coffee creamer, and packs a whopping 300+ calories! You can add it to food or drink for weight gain. It's not cheap, but if it adds weight without the hassle, it's worth it. Cheapest I've seen it is Walmart and Walgreens, but you have to order it online. Going to get some for Mom now that she has the $$ to pay for it.
Linda!!! Chiggers!!! I remember that story. It was the first time I had ever heard of the little buggers!
Bobbie!!! It was 10 degrees this morning when I took mom to daycare!
Jen, Nothing like a bald, demented man with long strings of hair hanging from a few spots on his head!!! Very stylish!!!
Okay, laundry to do, errands to run before I get Mom from daycare. That will be closed tomorrow, so, sigh, I will be on my own with her all day. I'm sure my class on Saturday will be canceled too! I was really looking forward to it, but I won't be traveling 45 minutes in the snow! Now I just have to hope my help can get shoveled out and here to watch Mom on Saturday. I'll need the break by then! So far they are talking about 12 to 18" here and maybe even 2 feet. I sure hope not because they are saying rain after the weekend and that would mean clearing off the roofs again!
Linda- I know their are others here that wish that love ones would go ahead and pass on, but to me in my mind it just feels wrong, even if I do wish it. Thanks, Linda.
I did talk to the granddaughter yesterday, and I asked her, "Was there anything else different about dad, like his demeaner when he was acting like that to her?" And she just told me that it just didn't look like papa there. She said that he was grinning really big, that she could see all of his teeth. Bobbie, I thought about you and what you said the other day about holding someones teeth.
Then I mentioned to the granddaughter about what if her and I went to dads one morning and I go in the back door of the house and she goes in the front door. And she goes in and sits down and asks dad for his truck keys and I have a video camera watching to see what he does. She said ok lets do it. So by her saying that it was kinda like she was saying that she is not lying about this and she wants to prove that what she is saying is true. I just feel like if she was lying about it all then she never would have agreed to go up there. And if dad starts acting funny again she can just get up and leave and I will have proof and I can show it to sis. Cause right now I just think that sis is hiding from it she doesn't want to admit that something could be going on with dad. I mean he will be 80 next month. I just don't want to think that my neice (the granddaughter) could be lying about something like this. But I don't know of any other way to find out the truth. I have not said anything to sis about us doing this. Cause she would be pissed about it. But at least this way we would know. Well, I guess I will talk with ya'll later. Take care everyone. Love and hugs stormy
ah hell i ll put chiggars in the over night bag , baaahahaha u had me grinnin and cant believe u remmy about the chiggards crawlin up my woo woo area . baahahaha , its a comin soon . whoops .
deef - u huperactive girl and that is good ! u go with the flow daily . alot of time i say ah fk it i aint doing nuthing today . i love ya deef ! zoom zoom :-) . enjoy knitting ...
austin _ meow ...
love u all . im ok . xoxo
by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for an old hermit, who had lived by himself in
a cabin in the woods, as long as anyone could remember. He had no family or friends that anyone
knew about; so the service was to be in an isolated area, on a back-road in the hilly countryside.
As I was not familiar with the area, I got lost; and being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I
finally arrived an hour late, and saw that the funeral guy had evidently gone, and the hearse was
nowhere in sight.
There were only diggers and crew left, and they were eating lunch. I felt badly, and apologized to the men for
being late. I went to the side of the grave opening and looked down. It appeared that the vault lid was
already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I warmed up my bagpipes and started to play.
As as I started to play "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep They wept, I wept, we all wept together.
When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart
was full.
As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "Sweet mudder of Jesus, I never seen
nuthin' like dat before, and I been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
Whew! What a relief to learn this...
Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was?
Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses.
Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what's known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next.Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.
Thank goodness for studies like this. It's not our age, it's that stupid door!
lildeb I just watched the news and the forcast is another 4-8" for thursday and friday. No wonder my brother is taking ma to Florida. Thats ok I like the white stuff. Talked to some friends of ours that live in the upper part of Mi by the Soo and they have 3' on the level right now and more comin
lil deb- I hope you are able to get some rest tonite, sounds like you had a very busy day.
Zoomdots- Hey there!
Deef- You be careful in all that white stuff!
Cuz- Sorry I am late with the happy birthday wishes, but I hope they all come true!
Meanwhile- I need to borrow your jacket, have you got anymore to spare?
Bobbie- How's the ankle doing? All better I hope.
Sharyn- Thank You!!!
Mame- Thank you for your advice, I do appreciate it.
If I have forgotten anyone I am truly sorry. Thank you all for the advice and support you have given me.It means so much to me. Love and hugs stormy
Cat- I know you understand me and how this is affecting my life. I know I should quit wishing for him to die. I have told myself that so many times that I can't even count them anymore. And it doesn't help my feelings about myself when I am wishing for him to pass. Sometimes I feel like I am at war with myself. Like I am part evil and part good. I guess I just feel like if he passes then that will be the only way I will be free from all the worrying. I know it sounds bad but its how I feel. Thanks Cat, Hugs to you, Love Stormy.
I am sending this message before I lose it. Computer acting funny.