Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Meanwhile, sorry to hear about your hiker story. Hope your weather is better!

What a day! So tired I could sleep for a week. Mom went to daycare again today. That makes 2 days in a row with tomorrow off then 2 more days. I have someone coming to sit with her tomorrow from 12-7, so I won't have to get her to bed. I'm saving $$ by having her go 4 days instead of 3, but already I can see where it will do a number on me having to get her out the door 4 days a week and then getting her back home and feeding her and getting her to bed by myself on those days.
I signed her up for a flu shot at Walgreens when I picked up my scripts. Of course she was a mess when I got her from daycare, so I had to take her home and put her down for a nap. After feeding her supper, that took 45 minutes, I bundled her up again and drove her to the pharmacy for her flu shot. What a hassle! Had to dig out the footrests for the wheelchair as she drags her feet and I have to wheel her backwards or do a wheely with the chair to keep her feet off the ground. Then it's practically lifting her off the chair and into the car. Then the process all over again to get her into the store and back to the car again and into the house! Needless to say, my patience is gone and then she won't open her mouth to take her night meds! She has this habit of clamping her mouth shut so well, that you can't even get water pass her lips!!! Very frustrating!!
Barb, that was a great post!!! Keep reading! You'll find lots of ups and downs, black holes, tears, disagreements, frustration, and tons of fun and good times and great friendships that somehow last through it all!!
Jen, did I tell you about my 5th kitty? Husband doesn't know about him yet. He has been in Mom's apartment for a month now and loving it. The kids are going to get him to the vets in a couple weeks and make sure he has no diseases to pass on to the other cats in the house. He was living outside and had belonged to a neighbor that no longer took care of him. A young mom that lived in the same apartment house as the former owner was feeding him and letting him into the cellar at night. he started coming into my yard this fall and would sit on my pool deck and drink the water from the pool cover. I started to feed him and cleaned him up br brushing him when I could. Then I put flea drops on him as he was covered! Poor thing was scrawny and dirty and so lovable. He has to be over 15 years old and is a bit wobbly either due to strokes or his ears which need treating.
I let him into Mom's one cold day, and he settled in to stay. Now he is clean, putting some meat on his bones and following me around when he sees me. He seems to be deaf, not sure if it's permanent or do his ears, but it's a good thing, because he sleeps all day even if we are walking around him. I must have "sucker" printed on my forehead!
Stormy, take care of yourself so you can get better. This cold thing is getting people good and the only way to get rid of it is with, I know, plenty of rest! Something most of us can not get.
Bobbie, Keep those men straight! It's your boat!!!
Austin, I keep trying to knit, but seem to fall asleep with my knitting in my lap lately! I'm taking a needle felting class at Webbs next month and wanted to take another for Norwegian purling, but may not be able too. Guess we'll be getting a storm early tomorrow morning and a possible 2-5" of the white stuff and freezing rain after! We've been very lucky so far!
Klig, nice to meet you! Sounds like you have your hands full too. Can't reason with dementia. Just have to grin and bear it, or not! My patience isn't as good as it was 4 years ago, but I am able to overlook a lot of things Mom does now. I have to, or I would lose my sanity! Let us know how you are coping and if we can help with any issues you have problems with, let us know!
Diane, Glad you get to go on a trip! It is always nice to get away from it all!
Okay, my eyes are crossing here. Haven't slept well for 3 nights, so I think I will take something besides my restless leg med tonight.

Barb, that was a beautiful post. I am so happy you get some "me" time and "we" time with hubby. No matter how hard it is to juggle the bills I take a few dollars for James and I to have lunch at Burger King or Subway. It's the only "we" time we really have. Even running errands together can be fun because we talk about the things we dream of doing together one day.
Shirley, I hope it was heart attack too and not foul play. I used to go to a park in Georgia to camp but I'm spooked now since a guy killed a woman in the woods there.
Jen, the internet is wonderful to explore and dream. It's a nice outlet for me too. One of these days we will all meet at Bobbie's boat.
Bobbie, keep those men on the straight and narrow!

I have to run to wally world to pick up a prescription. Have a nice evening everyone!

Love ya,
Diane

Well, they found the hiker in the park, he didn't make it. Only 55, no sign of fool play? Have to wait on an autopsy. I hope he had a heart attack, and went quick, out in the park doing what he loved.

Wow, Thank you so much Barb and thanks so much for being here.

To Bobbie and the rest of the crew,
I know this post is going to be a lot longer than I want it to be, but I just wanted to share with you all. I found AC website in October and with it I found the GO thread. At that time I was pretty busy getting ready for an auction and caring 24/7 for my mom so I bookmarked the site until I had a little more free time (that’s a laugh).
Mom was in the hospital for a week in November with pneumonia. When she came home, her mobility and the dementia was much worse than when she went into the hospital. I had to spend a lot of time just sitting with her. She became very agitated when I left the room. So I started spending a lot of time on my laptop. I rediscovered this thread. At first I like so many other people, I read Bobbie’s original post and wanted to respond with my own experience with Mom and brushing her hair with her own toothbrush, but then I looked at the date of the original post and the number of responses and I was amazed. So I went to the end of the comments and backed up a few pages and started reading the comments from that point. I was totally hooked. Here were people living with the same problems I was dealing with and more. Because of advice received from Deef and others, I made myself arrange for a service to provide a few hours of respite care. It is only 12 hours a week, but it is amazing what a difference it makes to know that I have 12 hours free to take care of me. Part of that time is a few hours on Saturday night so that my husband and I can have a “date” because we both need the “we” time.
I wanted to get to know all of you and experience the love and comradery I saw in this group. So I decided I would start at the beginning of this thread and read all the comments as well as trying to keep up on the more recent topics. At this point I am only to about 2600 on the comments, but the information I have already received is invaluable. I have laughed with you and I have cried with you. Both are tremendous releases.
Thank you again for continuing with this thread and providing a safe place for burned out caregivers to vent and laugh and cry.
Hugs to all.
Barb

My kittie is laying here watching the curser fly about, if you have any boat interest do check out the site bobbie mentioned. In the market for a shipping container ship, 300,000,000 crazy!

Love you Austin. good luck with your kittie. Mine peed on me when we were at my mom's house because she was upset.
That was a shocker!
lovbob

my cat Benji is having issues seems upset that we are again alone at least he won't pee on the down comforter-he did that and I did not replace it-when I go to help my sister clear out mom's apartment he will be upset once more.

Good Morning Crew,

Klig, welcome to the thread and the home of Vent and Live!

With a Dementia patient there is no reasoning so her talking with her mouth full is sure gross and trying to get her to stop is futile.

One of the caregivers on this thread once posted how it was totally urpy to try and eat at the same table with her mom so she went out and got a huge centerpiece so the family could all eat together but not watch the beginning of the digestive process rolling around in her mom's mouth.

With my mom who tried her best but was demented so what happens is what happens, I just set us all up with tv trays and comfy chairs and put us all where mom was out of our eyelines. We all made it a habit to watch Jeopardy and Wheel and we had fun. You have to do something creative or it will ruin your appetite and put undue stress on those who haven't succumbed to Dementia yet.

It doesn't mean that you love them any less it just means that you need a break from the gross. And it is gross.

Stormy, sorry to hear that you and your husband have the crud. Hope you both get to feeling better real soon and hopefully Connor has developed the antibodies and won't come down with it.
I hate it when it's in the chest. The coughing hurts so much but all you can do is keep getting it out of you. Hope you both can get some rest.

Kuli, it is so good to see from you and I love the story about Charlie. Glad you have a fuzzball to help you heal. I know that my tears should have washed away the Cat's stripes by now but she is still here and still a great comfort.

Pirate is saying that she is doing the best she can and is working on her house and living with the memories of her mom and dad, both of whom she misses very much.

Deef! of course you can share boat time! I know that Jen has racked up a boat load of boat time as well!

I have wondered about Judy too and hey! Judy! if you happen to see this, check in and let us know how you are doing.

Yogi, thanks for posting and yes to what Deef said.
With a group of folks under great stress, like those on this thread and site, little eruptions are going to happen. When I first started writing on this site and a few months later after starting this thread, I was amazed at some of the people and how angry they were with their responses.
After I progressed further into my personal caregiving journey, I experienced more anger and grief and noticed some of the same behavior coming out of myself.
That is why my conclusion is that, because of human nature and the parameters of human behavior, we just see it, try and understand it and move forward.

If we accept that all behavior is rooted in either love or fear, then we can accept that angry behavior, mine included, is rooted in fear and we react accordingly. If we try to react with love the damages are less. However, the last time I checked, we all are not perfect so we get what we get.
Also, I am pretty consistant with my reaction to bs because I fear for those who are so beat down and have to hear yet another clueless voice beat them down some more. Therefore I retaliate to that which attacks us.
It's the classic 'I won't start it but I will stop it.' routine.
However, once again, I am a most flawed human being so my reasoning may make sense to me but not to someone else.

Diane! So happy for you and that you will be able to get out and take a group for the day. The energy of people on a field trip is something I hope you can tap into.

Cuz, good one. Hope you guys are doing ok and how is cousin Philip and how is Diane doing?

Love to all I didn't call out to. Please don't feel like I haven't responded and I appreciate all who post here to help each other, themselves and me.

OK, the boat painter just left in a pout because the boat's carpenter is on the port side of the pilothouse replacing a few teak boards and the painter can't work because the carpenter is in his way.
Oh well, see you tomorrow painter man. Works for me because I don't like more than one trade on the boat at a time. Too stressful.
So I had to break it to the carpenter that I want the painter tomorrow so he has to button everything up today, take tomorrow off and sand on Thursday.
Now he's pouting and slapping stuff around.

Managing a big boat's refit is a real laughfest.

I finally got to see a real yacht, in the sense of what a real yacht should be. Last night while strolling back to my boat I passed a 72' Berger on jacks getting some work done while 'on the hard'. The Captain came out and we shot the bull for awhile and then he gave me a tour of this amazing boat.
If you guys are bored, go to yacht world dot com and search for 72 foot Berger and there are a few that are listed and you can take a virtual tour of a real yacht.

My boat is a boat and is a studio apartment compared to the Berger which is a lovely home with all the trimmings.

OK, carpenter needs an attitude adjustment so he stays focused on doing a good job and not venting his crazy on my boat. *sigh*

Love you all way more than you'll ever know,
lovbob

Flex you are right our warm weather will be just a memory hear in the NE

Good morning y'all,

I'm up a little early this morning since I started thinking about work and just couldn't fall back to sleep. I'm ramping up to my busy time and I start thinking of all the things I need to get done for each tour to run smoothly. Looks like I may get to escort a day trip on Monday to the casino. It will be nice to get out with a group and a change of scenery.
Renard, when I am super anxious I try deep breathing exercises and it helps to relax me some. It makes my mind focus on my breathing and puts the "crap" out of my head for a few minutes. My laptop is also my best friend. I research all sorts of crafts, recipes, places to visit, etc. Also, you guys are my sanity lifesaver. If I didn't have this thread I don't know what i would do. Also, you may want to ask your doctor about taking Buspar which is good for anxiety but not addicting like Xanax.
Bobbie I love the PC story. Please tell Pirate I said hello.
Nothing new to report on my side. Mom pretty much lives with her eyes closed 90 percent of the time in her own delusional world. She talks about all sorts of nonsense and swears there is a fire or some other catastrophy about to happen. When she does open her eyes, she is still in another world since she is seeing people and places that aren't there.
I think I need some COFFEE!!!!! Try have a good day everyone. It looks like those of us on the east coast are going to get cold today and tomorrow. Stay safe and warm!

Love ya,
Diane

Has anyone heard from Judy lately? She hasn't been on here in awhile and I was just worried about her. Hugs stormy

ETERNAL LIFE


I MET A FAIRY WHO SAID SHE WOULD GRANT ME ONE WISH
IMMEDIATELY I SAID " I WANT ETERNAL LIFE"
SORRY SAID THE FAIRY , I AM NOT ALLOWED TO GRANT ETERNAL LIFE.
OK I SAID THEN I WANT TO DIE AFTER CONGRESS GETS ITS HEAD OUT OF ITS ASS!
"YOU CRAFTY BASTARD," SAID THE FAIRY

Hey ya'll- just checking in. Well, last week I thought I was getting sick and then I thought it was just allergies because it has been so warm here this week. So I was taking my Clariden-d and missed my dose saturday night and when I woke up sunday I felt terrible and it kept getting worse. It's not the flu but a bad cold and it is in my chest. I have been hacking and coughing and hubby has it too. We are just hoping that Connor doesn't get it. Ugh... Getting ready to go to bed. But just wanted to let ya'll know that its not the flu. Take Care everyone. Love and Hugs stormy

Bobbie - Pirate sent me that story as well. I inherited Charlie, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, when Jim's mom went into a nursing home. He was her dog although I'm not sure she ever REALLY liked him. Charlie brought new energy into dad's life. In fact, when dad was going in for his aortic valve replacement - very big and risky surgery for him - Charlie had become very ill a few weeks before and I told Charlie he had to get better cuz he couldn't let dad down. He got better and was dad's favorite companion for the next few years until dad passed. During dad's last days, Charlie was content to lie with dad in the bed hospice provided - he never would stay in bed with him before. Charlie became ill again shortly after dad passed and I had to make the choice to put him down less than 5 months after dad passed. It was almost like he knew he had a job - to keep dad company as he completed his time on earth and try to comfort me in those first horrible months of grief. It really was amazing how dad perked up after Charlie came to live with us. I'm just glad I could give that to him in his last years. I now have a rescue Cavalier from a puppy mill and tell people all the time that he and I are healing together. While our wounds may not be the same, our PTSD is. Love and good night to all, Kuli

My mom insists on carrying on conversations with a full mouth. When I remind her that it is disgusting, she says she doesn't care. She mentioned that one of the ladies she dines with at her senior living facility commented on her full mouth chatting. When I said she should try to resist the urge to talk when she has a full mouth, she said she thinks it is perfectly okay. At least I haven't found gray hairs in my toothbrush!

Bobbie, got that same story from Pirate!!! Ain't it wonderful! Mom loves my cats and talks to them more than people. Animals are such great communicators they seem to know when someone needs them. Mu big old cat TUT always gravitates towards Mom and lets me know when I'm getting too frustrated with her by letting out a distress noise. Shuts me right up!
Jen, such words of wisdom once again! If Bobbie will let me, I'll share my "boat time " with you. Bet we wouldn't stop laughing for days! The gross strories we could tell each other.Renarad, ouch!!! Although I don't take any meds for anxiety or stress, I like to knit and read. I just signed up for a needle felting class at a yarn store and can't wait to get away for the day.
Lildeb, Busy as usual! Between your health issues and MIL's, I don't know how you do it! Mom's diapers are smelling stronger again. I sure hope I don't have to get her more antibiotics!
Yogi, Thanks for your nice comments. My wish is that we can all get along too. But we all know that there will be conflicts here and there and we just have to hash things over, make up, and get back to taking care of each other. So sorry you cannot see your mom and hope that situation changes for you soon.
Meanwhile, look up needle felting online and see the amazing things one can create with the know how. I've tried it on my own, but would like to learn from a master.
Diane, how are you doing?
Barb, Cat, Kuli, and those I can't remember, hope you are all doing well!

Bobbie, I just "liked" your post about likes...and btw thank you for the phrase about somebody "taking umbrage at your chutzpah". I so bemoan the decline of vocabulary. I say things like that and people look at me like I'm crazy! I feel badly sometimes about whining on this site when I see that people like Deef, lil deb,Austin dealing with not only caregiving but having their own medical issues whilst doing it. I'm just getting old(er) with menopause, hip pain, depression and taking peripheral care of mom while working full-time. Seems like a walk in the part compared to you guys doing it 24/7/365 with some pretty serious personal things to deal with. Although I may lurk more than I post, I do read all of yours and should be better about being more personal with my replies. Just know that I love you all too and have found such courage and humor and love here.
Took mom bowling yesterday...it used to be something we'd do a few times a month when she was more stable but she has been bringing it up lately. Her balance is way worse than it was, and she pretty much forgot what she was doing until I walked with her to the line and helped her put the ball on the ramp so she could roll it down. Between my daughter, my 11 month old grandson and mom, it was quite the adventure but she had a good time and that is a memory I will cherish when that is no longer a possibility.

Finished pouting.

You guys remember Piratess?
She just emailed me a story:


Hi, my name is P.C. I'm a dog. Actually, a happy dog lying in the sun. Usually, I go to work with Chris and Stuart, but today we were taking the day off. This Sunday morning, Chris' friend Gail came over to the house and asked Chris, "Please, can I borrow your dog P.C.?"

Chris snapped around and said to her, "Gail, P.C.'s a dog not a cup of sugar; people don't go around borrowing dogs."

Gail then told Chris the story of her mother, Molly. It seems that Molly was living back east, by herself. She started having falls and started forgetting things, (like turning off the stove). Gail's sister and brother, who lived back there, decided it was time for Mom to go into an assisted living home. Molly didn't want to go; she wanted to live with Gail's sister but Gail's sister worked and had no way to take care of her.

Into the home she went. It was a very nice home with a lot of wonderful people Molly's age, but Molly wasn't buying. She immediately went into severe depression. She became very difficult and even had to be helped to eat. When Gail's brother and sister visited, Molly would not respond to them.

They tried all kinds of doctors and therapists, but Molly was as responsive as a rock.

Finally, in desperation, Gail went back east and brought her mother home with her.

"Chris, she doesn't talk, she just sits there. I've heard about depressed people responding to animals and I thought P.C. might help."

Chris took Gail's hand, "O.K. let's give it a try, P.C.'s a nutty dog; he can get anybody going."

Chris, Gail and I got into the car and drove to Gail's place. I had been there lots of times. Gail has llamas but no dogs. Llamas spit.

We went into the house to the back bedroom. This was a very cheerful room in yellows and whites with lots of sunlight streaming in. The room smelled strange.

"Mother, I want you to meet P.C., he came over to visit. P.C., this is Molly, my mom."

Gail's mom, Molly, was sitting on the floor with her arms wrapped around her legs. Molly was staring at the wall. I walk over and sniffed her. The strange smell was coming from Molly.

My senses told me that Molly was trying to tell me something. I finally got it: Molly was asking for help. I put my tail in the high position and started wagging it to show that I was friendly. Then I pricked my ears forward to show her that I was interested in her. She didn't move.

I walked over and licked her on the nose - everyone responds to that. Molly didn't move, but she was following me with her eyes.

I squatted down in front, raised my back end and wagged my tail to show her I wanted to play, but Molly didn't want to play.

In desperation, I did something I don't usually do with new acquaintances: I put one paw on her lap, wagged my tail and woofed gently.

Molly moved for the first time. She very politely picked up my paw and placed it back on the carpet.

On the way home in the car, Chris remarked to Gail, "I guess P.C. didn't get much of a response out of your mother, either."

"Oh, no, Chris," Gail replied enthusiastically, "that was about the only response she's made since we've had her home. Please, let me borrow P.C. again."

Sure enough, the following Sunday, I was back in the car on the way to Gail's place. Gail told Chris that, on the advice of her doctor, she had more than doubled the amount of water that she was having her mother drink. The doctor suspected that, along with everything else, Molly was dehydrated.

"Mom's still not talking but she seems to be listening when I talk and she acts like she's feeling better.

When I came in, Molly was sitting in a chair, staring out the window. She smelled better also. As soon as she saw me, she snapped around and followed me as I crossed the room. I put my head in her lap. I nudged her hand with my nose - everyone knows that means "Pet me." Molly said, "P.C."

Gail almost screamed. "Yes, Mom, P.C.'s come to visit you again." Molly started to pet my head. I wagged my tail and licked her chin and wiggled all over. She continued to pat my head.

I put my paw in her lap. She picked it up but didn't put it on the floor this time. Instead, she shook it like people shake hands. Then she said, "P.C., thank you for coming to see me again."

I heard Gail telling Chris that these were the first words her mother had spoken since she had been home. Molly started directly into my eyes, an action that dogs interpret as a challenge, but I knew that Molly wasn't challenging me - she was just really seeing me for the first time.

Now I go over there often. These days, Molly acts just like other people. She is really very nice and likes to take me for walks along the river. I feel lucky to have a friend like Molly.

Actually, people are the best friends dogs have. People don't try to judge dogs, they just try to understand them. People don't care if a dog is young or old; black, brown or white; fat or skinny - if they like dogs, they like them all. The best part is that people are extravagant in their appreciation whenever a dog does something that pleases them. Dogs love this.

I can't help wondering what would happen if people were as loving and understanding with each other as they are with dogs.

Keep it waggin'
Your friend,
P.C.

lovbob

And here's one:
When I log onto the thread I come through where my account stats are and the first thing are the 'likes'.
When I got on this am I had 1255 and then I wrote that long winded post and you guys were sweet and gave me 5 likes.
Now my total is 1256. ?
Not the first time, second time or tenth time I have noticed it but was never bored enough to mention it but 'likes' are sweet and let you know if you are being understood or not.
Am I the only one that happens to or is it everybody who gets 'likes' that are not added to their total.
'Like' it matters hahahaha.

OK, off to pout.
lovbob

Deef!
Boat Time!

Good Afternoon Crew,

Thanks you guys and
YES!!! Jen, I love Downton Abbey. I am working my way through season 2 since I only have Netflix.
After dealing with the day to day management of major trawler refit and living in a construction zone it is so nice to turn on Downton Abbey and look at doilies.

I just took a minute and realized that I might be able to see season 3 somewhere online if I don't wait too long. Available for a short time...

Rena! for relaxation we watch Downton Abbey haha....
ok, seriously I used Netflix and Hulu and would find a series I liked and follow the story to the end even if it was 11 seasons of Frasier, or how ever many seasons that was and then onward to another. Dramas, comedies; all I was looking for was a good story.
I have been watching 3rd Rock on Hulu and that is some funny stuff. On season 5.
Love to read as well.

When I was really anxious, and we all know that we can get that way, I would have to walk it off in order to calm down enough to be able to take a Xanax just so I could sleep.

I tried drinking wine but broke out in a rash and drinking is probably not a great idea for us because we could spiral down if we are not careful. That black hole can be real sneaky.

Also, I looked at boat porn online. yacht world dot com and I would just look at boats in between times I had to put mom on the pot, change her, cook for her, clean everything, etc etc, I would just have the computer set up on boats and I would dream about boats.
wtf was I thinking?? haha

Jen, the dog is like the kid who belongs to the dad when he is good and when he is bad, he belongs to the mom.
Can you give him a little lick of peanut butter so he can run his chops over that instead of yowling?

Austin, had no idea you had fractures in your back. What in the world did you do to heal that? Ow Ow.

lildeb, you are handling way more than a human being is actually capable of. Of course I am not telling you anything you don't know.
Glad you got your mom's urine tested again and I hope you get your 'roids under control.
Talk about a stress result! Hemorroids! Put anyone under insane stress and hemorroids show up! That and acid reflux!
A veritable host of nasty conditions are the direct result of the intense stress of family caregiving without enough help.
Love ya lildeb and you take care of yourself as best you can. Ow Ow.

Diane, thinking of you every day. Hope you and James are doing ok.

The last line of my last post was edited out and it's a joke I have used here before...

I have to go because someone is standing on the dick...
and then I make the very next post and correct myself.

Dock.

Anyway, that's where the laugh is so, now maybe, in the midst of all the insane things we discuss like poop and screaming crazy people, an innocent weenie joke might find a place without getting edited out by the site cops! Pleeeeze?

Love you guys,
lovbob

Bobbie nailed it.

Different strokes for different folks, and if you don't know... You have not got a clue... and trust me, you should be Happy about that. In many of these cases, onerous, humiliating, creep-tastic, stench-fest, madness inducing care giving, truly ignorance IS bliss!

If you do "glorify in every messy smelly disgusting but lovingly done task of care giving" that is nice for you, there are other blogs that you may fit in better with, you can stay here, but if you feel put out of joint because some do not share this view do not blame the YEARS NOW RUNNING BLOG THAT IS "GROSSED OUT THREAD" No harm no foul, move on. This is life. You are not going to get along with EVERYONE. This is not a travesty, but do not try to sit in condemning judgment of those here who don't share your views, that is an exercise is futile crazy and we have enough crazy in our lives to be getting on with now thank you...

I am sitting here after vacuuming and snow shoveling and rinsing piss bottles listen to "My" dog howl for mom as she has taken fart pants to his foot app. My choices, go and look after mom while driving but have to listen and smell and see fart pants for two hours in the car or stay here, worry to death and clean stuff and listen to dog howl like a loonie for two hours... I choose the later....


Any one else watch Dowton Abbey?

Renarad I had fractures in my back and the pain was unbelievable.

same here for me you guys are my best real friends.

Hi, Mom fractured her back 6 weeks ago. She was in terrible pain. Thankfully she is feeling much better now. Now UTI problems. I am always so on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. What do all you wonderful girls do to release tension, or what kind of relaxation techniques do you use? Don't want to take too much xanax, just makes me sleepy anyway. Rena

Dtflex, Sorry to hear that your mom disease has progress more. We all know this is bound to happen but it's so heart-breaking as this disease takes it toll on our love ones. I know this is not going to help make u feel better but at least she don't have UTI n at lease u know what the problem is due to her behavior. It sometime that 'not-knowing' what the problem is that drives us nuts. I will be glad when they find a cure for this illness.

Bobbie, so sorry you r dealing with a lot like some of us. Not sure what u done to help him calm down. Don't forget the times the hand goes n the toilet bowl while she is grabbing the shit n squishing in between the finger nails before u can stop the person. I am so honestly have to say thank You Bobbie n Jam for having these post for us to vent, cry, laugh a little n learn n to help support others has much as we can. I have no idea if this place was not here. Thanks to you both.

Deefer, trust me I am burning up at 78 degrees but that is what I have to do for the mil n order to get her to take that weekly bath. I try to keep it at 72 for she stays cold a lot. I am trying to pack some more weight on her boney butt. ; ) I haven't had any problems just yet with my online prescriptions for my anti-rejection meds. However they ups those meds to my door. I use, Prescription Solution. Not sure if your insurance covered by them but it may be worth a shot checking it out. However, I did have problems with my acid reflux medicine, "Protonix" but it was at my local pharmacy. So, I finally just got tired of trying to get pre-authorization n switch to Aciphex n it works somewhat along with my Levsin sl. I hope u can get all that insurance mess squared away n they will send your medicine ASAP n especially your heat med. Thanks for understanding.

Yogiebear, It would be nice if this world was less judgmental and more like u mention, "We all just need to help support one another." Everyone situation is different yet some similarities.
Austin, I say, "Amen" to this threat n site for I would be lost. I know I still have a lot to learn n understand n it it takes me to do it, 'Day-by-Day then so be it.
Follow up on mil n me:
I took her straight this AM to the GYN being she keeps pointing at her bladder area but saids it's her tummy. She had no appointment n I didn't care for she has been hurting n enough is enough we need to find out what is wrong n to get her the Right medicine! Of course he is out of hospital until afternoon so I asked can she at least get her urine re-checked to see if she still has UTI for she only has 2 antibiotics left n they don't seem to be working. Even though we had to sat for 2 hrs we finally were able to get a urine cultural n lab work too. Hopefully, that will show if something else is going on. Now, us girls just sit n wait for a phone call. I have already concluded that if she still has the UTI then I am going to cancel the Barium x-ray for I feel that will be just too much. It's pretty bad that u get the sleep at night n you still feel exhausted in morning. As soon as I can get the mil problems gone then, I might be able focus back on my appointments with these bleeding hemorrhoids. Plus I did have to have a rejection episode as well last few weeks so that set me back as well. I have had the hemorrhoid problem going on for at least n we think it may be due to the rejection meds yet, I got to take them or back on dialysis. Then, what good would I be for the mil.
So, for those whom don't have any idea what us caregivers goes through on a day-to-day, minuet-to-minuet basis, please have some understanding. I am just so freaking tired! I am praying for energy, strength n more compassion for the me for my mil.
I hope everyone has a nice day.......

Amen Bobbie!!!
Glad to be here when needed and glad to help anyone else who needs helping.
Sorry when sensitive toes get stepped on and wish that didn't ever happen, but am so happy to have all of you in my life!

What she said-sometimes people do need to be put in their place-most of us have been in the trenches and I like comming here to see how my friends are doing while caregiving and some after caregiving and sometimes I am able to help those on their last nerves-been there done that-I so wish I had found this site years and years before I did but that last year was hard and this site saved my sanity-thefirst time someone said they understood and were sorry for what I was going through changed everything for me-it gave me hope to continue and I did learn to set boundries and did become stronger and had a chance to vent-my friends did not really get it-what I was going through-I now am part of a caregivers support group-and the social workers running it are glad for my input.. Most of us learned to be KAW and we can deal with the Amber Janes that pop up at times.