Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Thank you, cattails. I appreciate your kind words. I wish you the same. xo

Christina: Sorry about your mom. It's really hard to see them continue to fail and you've been watching it for such a long time. I imagine you will be making wonderful meals this Christmas season and enjoying the love and warmth of your family. Hope all is well.

Deef: If you are not on a septic system, try bleach instead of Draino. Maybe a half gallon down each drain you want to clear, showers, sinks, whatever. Do it at night, when you go to bed, so it has time to dissolve gunk and you won't be diluted by running the taps.

jen - screw others with thier smirk remarks . i still honeslty beileve the full moon hasnt left yet . but those words doesnt make ya feel better i know . once ya re hurt your day sucks ! i thought u were gonna say fp fell in the tub and i dont know how i did it lol ...
deef ! bless ur heart ! what a morning !!!
jen- u did it because thats the path that u have been stuck in it for years .... one day u will do what ur mind and heart tells u to do ....you are very smart jenny lou ....
you love ur mom and are there for her and help her out as much as u can . u are notthe type of person to walk away from all that . u stuck by ur mom and do what ya had to do . ure a sweetheart . love ya jenny lou xoxo

One more time!!!
I woke up before the alarm, and had to pee of course. As I am sitting on the throne, I blow my stuffy nose and it starts to bleed! So I stuff the last bit of toilet paper up my nose to stop the bleeding. Then I hear a crash in the pantry. Mind you, I don't wear pj's, so yes, I am buck naked and now without toilet paper! Then another crash and growling, which means Butter has a mouse and is trying to protect his catch from the other 3 cats. My husband, snoring through all this, gets a rude awakening when I yell at him for help. He grabs me some toilet paper and heads for the pantry while I through some clothes on. We corner the cat and get the mouse from him, then sit down and laugh our butts off! What timing!
Does anyone else have days that start like this?
Jen, give me the number of your favorite Chinese place and I'll order a delivery for you!!! Bet a call from the East coast would throw them off big time!

Awww, Jen!
I'm trying to post the funny start to my morning and it got kicked out twice! Very frustrating!!!

Well nothing yet, just stormys statement I don't know How you do it Jen...I don't know why i do it..i asked for Chinese food pick up today after fuming errand s mom said flat no it's too expensive...fp just cashed in another cd last week and gets to eat out three times a week has had hamburgers twice this month. and I stupidly ask ...

what jen ? do what ? what did u do ??? mmmm

I don't know why I do it....

bobbie - u hurt my christina angel . ur commet was harsh to me , not a CHRISTINA whats up ! did u wake up the wrong side of bed or what ?

christina angel ---- sorry to hear that ur mom isnt herself anymore . it is so sad .. my dad was like that at the end . stares off spaces stare at the wall . even ask me if i ve seen mom or johnny , aww no pa i missed them dang they didnt wait for me to come in here . man i miss pa . i know u take good care of your mom cuz CRICKET SAID SO ! ure so good to ur mom as i was good to pa . u call me linda hearts and i call u christina angel . love you bunches christina xoxox

Good Morning, Bobbie, etc.
I did not come back and read for many months. All I know is the way I felt when I was here. I just gave up after realizing this doesn't work for me. Sometimes that is the case, but I came back this morning with hope in my heart that maybe I was wrong. I see that everyone is forgiven except me. I don't get it, but I will survive and move on. Have a nice day. Christina

Hey there everyone- sorry i have been absent from the thread for a few days. I just didn't really know what to say with everything going on with Book and Cat. Because they are both my friends and they still are. And i am glad to see that they both have posted on here. And then my computer was acting up one night and last night i laid down with connor and i didn't wake up til this morning. I was planning on getting back up last night and posting to everyone but i still have not read the posts from everyone, just glancing over them.
Book- Glad to see you posting, and that was some good info about the heart attack. Hugs
Cat- I am glad to see you posting too. It was a good start. I know the holidays are hard on you this year. You have had alot of losses this year. And that just makes the holidays especially hard. Hugs.
Mishka and Weed- welcome to the grossed out thread we hope that we all here can be of some comfort to you two here in this crazy life that we all are trying to get through. It is hard and we all need the support. hugs
Jen-prayers for you today and for the days ahead. I don't know how you do it. hugs
Deef-Dtflex- how are ya'll doing? hugs to ya'll.
Bobbie- how are you and the boat doing? hugs
I know i have missed some of you, and i am sorry i will try to play catch up tonight since it is hubby nite to lay down with connor. I have a headache and i have got to go to work at the store for my sis for a few hours then off to dads for a few then pick up connor from school. I have been trying to get up some xmas decorations and i have just not been in the mood for it. Gonna try to get lights on my second tree this afternoon when i get connor outta school. I have been trying to get lily the puppy to quit biting the xmas light cords, any suggestions? I don't want her to get shocked!!! I tried putting on cayenne pupper on the cord, i don't know how well that is going to work knowing lily she willl like the taste. ugh....
This morning she got hold of one of the xmas red balls and was running around with it in her mouth. Finally got that away from her!!! I have to give her treats to get stuff away from her. Well i need to go for now, but i will post later on. I hope everyone has a good day. Love and hugs stormy

Good morning everyone,
Another early morning for me. For some reason Mom thinks 5:00 am is the new time to get up. I usually can get her to go back to sleep for a short while after I get her changed, but the last few days she will doze for a few minutes and then try to get up again. After a couple of attempts, I just get her up and dressed. Either way I am up at 5. Of course then she sleeps in her chair all morning.
Deef, thanks for all the info. Mom's appetite is better since she came home from the hospital but from day to day, I never know what she will eat. Things that she used to love, she won't touch now. This summer she told me she didn't like chicken. It's like my kids when they were toddlers, if they didn't know that was what it is, they would eat it without problem. Last night she ate fried chicken without hesitation.
I will definitely look into the Wellness Briefs. The depends are fine for Mom during the day, but at night she gets soaked and I'm sure that's what wakes her up.
Thanks for the welcome everyone, I will check back in later.
Barb

Sorry to hear about your mom Chris!
Hello Weed!
Linda!!!
Meanwhile, Plumbing issues are the bane of my existence!! This house has 4 apartments and all kinds of old pipes still needing to be replaced! My toilet needs the guts replaced, but I'm waiting for it to go completely. It's not something I look forward to doing. I just got a bottle of Draino to do all my sinks because they are draining slow again. What I really need to do is replace the waste pipe from my apartment down through the cellar. I'm sure it's packed with years of grease, etc. to the point where there is a small path for the water to pass through. Maybe in my next life when I am rich!!!
Okay, need to get Mom out the door to daycare. I have lots of work to get done for tomorrow's craft show!
Hope everyone's day is a good one!

Oh Christina.
Talk about hurtful.
Read back what you wrote to us after we called out to you for so long and you never answered.
lovbob

Stopping by to say Hi. I'm still caregiving as all of you are. My Mother has not uttered an intellegible word in a month. singing and humming non stop. Can't move her arms or sit up. She is not responding to questions even about things she likes. It is painful to see.
Sorry to hear of the drama. Bless Jen, Bookworm, loving souls. Since things are healing, I won't comment further except to say I don't mind confrontation; what bothers me is being ignored or shunned. Passive agressive manipulation. It makes one feel unaccepted, excluded, different, inferior. Not nice. Hurtful:(
I am Blessed with a few true friends I met here. UnbelievablyThankful.
Hope you all have a Merry Christmas and/or a Happy Hannukah.
Love, Christina xo
PS: OBMAJ

I'm new here and I have been reading your posts and I'm not alone! Thank you. It's 2:50am and I stumbled on to this web site. Feeling better, will visit soon. Thanks for sharing

am feeling like theres a AMBER JANE here somewhere .

CUZ - love ur jokes ! made me smile tnite . thanks for the email , realy awesome ! wow ...

nighty night u all . xoxo .
austin -- where are you ?
jen-- keep warm dear ..

It's late Fall, and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea.

He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'

'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.'

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'

'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood.'

You may have heard that Hostess Bakery declared bankruptcy due to a workers' strike, and all the plants shut down.
However, you may not have heard how the company’s assets were split up.
The State Department hired all the Twinkies.
The Secret Service hired all the HoHos.
The generals are sleeping with the Cupcakes,
and the voters sent all the Ding Dongs to Congress.

I think my dead husband is haunting the plumbing. He did completely replace the plumbing in this house about 10 years ago. Ever since he died last year the main toilet started stopping up. Sis and I took it apart 3 times. Snaked the line, hauled the thing into the front yard and ran the garden hose thru it. Replaced all the parts in the tank. Nothing worked. Finally broke down and bought a new toilet at the hardware store. Put it in and the new toilet leaked. No amount of pipe dope, caulk or caskets (I mean gaskets) helped. The hardware store gave us another tank, still leaked. Would have taken the whole thing back, but broke the tank trying to tighten the screws that wouldn't stop leaking. Had to buy another new toilet, so far so good. I bet anything my Sam is laughing his ass off. He loved practical jokes.

Hey there!!! Been painting all day and finally decided I had enough! Will finish my cats tomorrow. Wanted to check in on everyone before I got too sleepy.
Jen, I sure hope FP doesn't get kicked out of daycare! I know it's only a matter of time for Mom. She needs constant care and is a lot of work to feed and toilet, but this daycare has some wonderful people working for them. The company that used to run it would have thrown her out by now just because of the manpower used to deal with her. I'm very grateful for all that they do. Sounds like some really heavy duty reading you are doing. I'm afraid all I can deal with right now is mushy romance novels. At least I don't have to think, just imagine it's me they are writing about. Yeh, right!!!
Mame, sorry your dad was so sick. It must have been really hard for you and your mom. My dad's father was an Irish railroad worker that loved his drink too. He died at 51 and left 6 children. My dad was second oldest and already had both my older sister and me with another on the way. His youngest sister and brother were still at home, the brother being 13.
He spent the rest of his short life helping his mom and working hard to help my mom raise 7 children. He had a major heart attack when he was 45 and open heart surgery 6 months later, the day after New Years. I was 22 at the time and had been married less than a year. My youngest brother was only 5 and I stayed home with him while Mom went to Boston for dad's bypass surgery. This was 1974, so it was the early stages of bypass surgery. he was in the hospital for 16 days and then home. My grandparents and my husband and I pretty much took care of my 3 younger sibs during this time. My older sister was away from home with her husband who is retired Air Force, and the oldest of my brothers was dealing with a young wife and baby. Dad struggled with his health for the next 9 years and died of a massive heart attack at the age of 54, 2 months after his mom died of throat cancer. That was almost 31 years ago.
Basically, because I have always lived in the family's 4 apartment home that we all grew up in, it became my job to watch over mom and the youngest sibs. So I truly know what you mean about being there for your mom all your life. It will definitely be interesting to see how I will react.
In the meantime, do you knit, crochet, sew or do anything creative? I would be a crazy person if my hands weren't always busy knitting or painting. It takes me away for a little while each day. I do these 2 craft shows every X-mas just to make myself paint again.
By the way, if you are bored, I have a husband that just sits around all day. I can send him out on the next flight if you need company. I sure could use a break from his voice!!!
Mishka, Your daughter sounds like a real gem! She sounds very special, and please do tell us about her. I bet you have some great stories to share!
Diane, have you tried ignoring your mom for a day? I mean, literally do not jump when she calls. Don't take the bait! Unless of course you think she could get hurt, then you have to listen to her. I still think another attempt at med changes would help. It took Mom's doctors 3 years to get the right combination that works for her. She stopped crying and panicking when they put her on 30 mgs of Paxil and the seroquel works best to help her sleep for hours. She can't take it during the day. It makes her to groggy.
Lildeb, Diapers are the best for bedridden. I use Wellness Briefs. Best on the market after going through many brands and Mom still getting up soaked to her hair. I no longer have to wash bedclothes almost everyday due to her wetting them. Now I only wash them when they are dirty!! I also use washable bed pads because she would pick at and tear the disposable ones. Put a pair of his undies over the diaper so he can't pick at it. I also have to put her arms on top of the sheet and tie that to the bedrail so she can't get to the diaper. I know it's a pain, but beets getting up to messy mornings. You can find these diapers on the web. they are also cheaper than most other brands. Only downside is they don't come in pullups. hey nicknamed them NASA diapers.
Okay, I have 4 cats staring at me and looking for food. Then I'm going to bed. Night everyone!

Book!
Good to see you kiddo.
lovbob

Hey lildeb,

Can you get him to wear Depends? And get some Chux?
Deef knows all the tricks and will probably hook you up tomorrow.

They forget how to walk, swallow, sit, stand, etc etc.

I used to get mom up by standing in front of her and getting her to let me pull her up to her feet, take that moment to find her balance and I would walk backwards holding her hands and talking to her the whole time, telling her to move her legs, etc.

That worked for quite awhile but it is murder on your back.

If he won't get out of bed, I can't figure out what to do other than adult diapers but if he can call out for the toilet I guess you could do a pan or something. That still takes some muscle to get it under him.

Someone else that has experience in that will chime in.

Once my mom was bedridden she was in diapers and we changed her as soon as she went.

That freaking Ensure looks the same going in as it does coming out.

lovbob

Is it as the AD progresses that, it affects their body n they forget how to walk n that is why you have to do all the lifting? Can u not buy a pee collection-poop container n put it under his bottom if he cannot get out of bed? Just seem it may be less messy. Of course I have no clue so just trying to come up with something n y'all probable already have tried this too.

Bookworm, that is great info! Thanks! I never knew you should not lay down. My Grandpa-who I adored,- passed from a heart attack about 20 years ago. My Busha ( grandma) was trying to plow the snow off their driveway( she was 70) but could not get the plow to start-I think it starts like a lawn mower where you pull on the cord-my Grandpa came out to do that part, got it started after awhile of yanking ,zipped up my Busha's coat and went inside, lie down on the couch and died. Heart attack. The pulling of the cord they think did it. She found him just moments later because the plow had stopped again and she went to get him to start it up again. Goodness, to think if he had taken an aspirin and did not lay down perhaps he could have lived.
This is also a reminder to be careful when it comes to plowing the driveway! So many people get heart attacks from attempting to clean their snowy driveway. Usually from shoveling but even plowing is dangerous.

Book, thanks for the info. I was also watching Dr. Oz today and they said if you are having generalized pain and cannot point your finger at the location, this is a warning sign too. When my b/f had his heart attack last year he never had chest pain but intestinal distress nausua, vomitting and diarhea.

I thought that this info might be of benefit for us caregivers with the stress we face daily. FYI...an email from one of our clients. I hope it will help at least one caregiver's life...book.

This is good info.
We did not know that you should NOT LIE DOWN while waiting for the EMT

Just a reminder to all: purchase a box, keep one in your car, pocketbook, wallet, bedside, etc.

IMPORTANT READ......



Why keep aspirin by your bedside?
About Heart Attacks

There are other symptoms of an heart attack besides the pain on the left arm.
One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating,
however these symptoms may also occur less frequently.
Note: There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart attack
The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack during their sleep, did not wake up.
However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.
If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water.
Afterwards:
CALL 911
- say "heart attack!"
- say that you have taken 2 aspirins..
- phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by
- take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door, and wait for their arrival and...
DO NOT lie down

Hi Y'all,

Mom is doing her usual afternoon dying routine. I am so over these spells. I don't doubt she may not feel the best, but "dying" at least two times a day is overboard. She cries wolf so much no one is going to pay attention when she really needs help. Considering she is "dying" she sure knows how to try manipulate you. Yesterday she scored 22 out of 30 on the memory test. I swear my mom is just playing me most of the time. It's this manipulative crap that gets me so irritated. I guess that is my vent for this afternoon.
Welcome Mishka and Barb.

I'll check in later.

Love ya,
Diane

Hi Bobbie321. I just saw your post. Sorry to come right out of the gate with my rant against your cousin's joke. I hope it doesn't cause contention! I have no doubt that your cousin is a very nice person. Thanks for the disclaimer! :0) haha. I will remember that! And I get poop! I mean -I deal with a lot of it! In fact I hear my daughter getting ready to call me to give her a wipe( she cannot wipe herself) I better run or she will try to do it herself which means she will then clog the sink with soap or toilet paper( on purpose) and make a poop soup in the sink. Gotta run...