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Hi everyone, I hope that you and your loved ones are doing the best you can and are okay. I'm so sorry I haven't posted before now. I will tell you about my trip first then bring you up to date with what has kept me so busy. Okay you asked for it and you know me so here goes..LOL
Part 1: My trip to Ca was wonderful! I spent a total of 3 days with Christina and it was great to get to meet her face to face. As many of you know she and I have become best friends since we met here and we had been corresponding through emails and pouring out our hearts to each other over the last year. We have truly become sisters on a soul level. Just to be able to spend that time with her meant the world to me! While there we went to visit her Mother and Christina has her in a lovely home where there are only 5 women total with a full staff and there was a fantastic smell in the house of food cooking on the stove. When we walked in 3 of the ladies were sitting in rocker recliners, Christina greeted each one of them by name and asked how they were. They were so cute and happy to see her. Then we went in to see her Mom and she was so cute but very frail. She was sitting in a rocking chair and had a huge bib on and was listening to beautiful old Irish music! Her Mom was clearly very well cared for but it was obvious that Christina putting her Mom in a home was the right decision. She needs care that takes more than one person to do. Christina brought a fresh pear and fed that to her Mom then got into a box of See's chocolates kept in a drawer and gave her a piece of that. She tried talking with her Mom but she didn't get much out of her that was very coherent. I tell you truthfully, watching Christina with her Mother brought tears to my eyes it was both beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time, and yet she goes and spends time with her like that daily or every other day while working full time with their business, and takes care of her husband, home and yard beautifully. She treated me like a queen when I was there, I am so blessed how could I not share all of this with you here! I'm just sorry it took me so long to do so. I will continue in the next post. .
Some of these posts made me laugh out loud. My husband blows his nose in his hand! aaaargh. But he does lots of funny things as well. Each time I give him ice cream he exclaims with joy and asks me what this WONDERFUL food is, and tells me how clever I am to make it. I think caring for him is easier because i love him so much. It must be extremely difficult if the person you are caring for is not your favourite person in the world.
Meanwhile, you take what you can and for now he is still your horse. I hope you guys get to have a few more adventures. You're such a good soul.
Bookworm Ya I guess Cricket isn't coming back. Was just hoping that because she and Christine met on the thread that they would share some of their experiences with us. It's always a positive thing when we get to live beyond this forum whether it be fb or meeting in person. In the meantime many of us are still here and I guess that's what counts to the new ones finding themselves in caregiving.
Guestshop! it is good to hear from you and it's amazing how much can happen to each of us in such a short period. Hope you check in again real soon.
Deef!! you continue to amaze me with your patience and resourcefulness. Thanks for being here! That dinner sounds wonderful. I got invited to a dock party last night and they had fried potato sandwiches and deep fried Oreos. Ewwww. Even though I tossed most of it off the dock and into the darkness I have been eating antacids all night. That's the last time I eat anything to make someone else happy.
Linda! wearing your sox again!
Diane hope you feel better soon.
Jen!! play Frisbee with the Hawaiian music and plug in anti stinks in his room. Wish I was rich I would land a helicopter and scoop you up.
Mame! Love your little pic with you in your dress. Try to find something funny to laugh at. The only sanity we have is when we laugh good and hard.
Cuz! Sorry to hear about Cuz P. Like I said in my email to you, it's scary for all of us when someone our age has a stroke or heart attack. Hope he has the support he will need in order to survive this.
And I thought this was funny:
"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?"
Happy Sunday all and I love you all more than you'll ever know. lovbob
Diane, hope your Mom settles down, and you get to feeling better. So far, when my Mom gets sick, she just gets weak, can't get up. Weather here has been lovely, but turning bad this weekend. We heat the house here at the ranch with a woodstove too. Have 60 mph winds, not fun. Have started giving my 30 year old horse 4 oz of antacids twice a day. The stuff the Vet gave me didn't help him. He has a partial blockage in his intestine, will take surgery to fix. He is just too old to put through that type of surgery. It makes me sad. I have had this horse since he was a colt. Through 2 marriages, 1 divorce, and 1 funeral. This horse has been with me longer than any person in my life. I don't want to be selfish and keep him around if he is in pain. But, so far the antacids seem to be working. He was playing with the 3 year old colt this morning.
Guestshop, Good to hear from you! Mame, Hope you cheer up soon and your mom feels better. We've all been there for sure. Diane, I know how difficult it is to get a "clean catch" from a diaper wearing demented person. Impossible to get without contamination unless a catheter is used. Last time I took mom to the ER and spent 3 hours waiting for the results. It's such a pain to go to the ER, but they can find out faster and give her an IV antibiotic that will have her acting more sane by the next morning. I don't know about you, but getting my mom to pee on cue just ain't happening! Sorry you are sick. It's hard to stay healthy when we are so run down. I know when I get a cold, my asthma is hell on wheels! Hope you can get the right meds for mom and you feel better soon. Jen, How's it going? Why don't you set FP outside at the top of the ramp and let him go!!!! Linda, If you can make ends meet without working, more power to you! I can start collecting Social Security next August and even if Mom is gone by then, I think I will just enjoy the peace and quiet for a long while! Mom had a very good day today. fter being really cold all week, we had a warm and sunny day today. It was mid 60's this afternoon, so I made Merry take Mom out in the sun on the front porch for a while. I think she just wanted to sit in the house and knit, but mom really enjoyed being out. My daughter and her husband are celebrating their 5 year anniversary today and made their special dinner like they do every year. Of course we are always invited and I am stuffed and satisfied beyond all else! Chris cooks Veal Marsala and Lex makes her own version of Tiramisu. Both were DELICIOUS!!!! It's late, but I need to get some ornaments base coated before bedtime. Hope you are all having a good weekend!
Diane - sooo sorry! UTI is scary stuff for elderlies. Makes them violent. I guess when father gets UTI, he will be more violent than usual. I get paranoid when I go to the clinic and hospital. Several times after the clinic visit - I get the flu because people do not cover their mouth. They cough and sneeze like normal and all those germs floating for 30 minutes in the air infecting people. (They did a study on how long germs last in the air after a person sneezes. It takes 30 minutes of being airborne before the germs settle on the hard surfaces.) Maybe we should follow the Oriental tourists who visit here. When they are sick, they walk around with a cloth mask (like the doctors/nurses wear.) Maybe when we go to the clinic and ER, WE should wear one to avoid getting those germs. And just be sure to wash our hands when we get home! Hope you get well. Must be difficult to feel like crap and still care for combative mom. HUGS!!!
Morning all, It's been a rough 24 hours with mom. She has been hallucinating all sorts of crazy stuff, thinks I am poisoning her, trying to hit me, spitting at me, crying and more. I called the doctors office and they said moms urine specimen was contaminated so we still don't know what type of bacteria is causing the uti. I'm still feeling like crap coughing, spluttering and fever thanks to our visit to the ER. Sorry, gotta go, mom is calling.
Bobbie – maybe cricket is busy with FB? Deef – It’s sad isn’t it how much parents do for their kids, and then when it’s the parent’s turn to need help, the kids either ignore (as it’s Not Their Problem) or dump them at NH (and never visit.) That’s why I keep telling sis and oldest bro to quit babying their adult kids. Can you believe bro-of-next-door wants to build an apartment for his kids? so that when he dies, they own something? I told him that they’re adults (age 28, 26, 24) and should be out of his house, have a job (both sons do NOT have a job but living off the parents) and supporting their own family (2 of his kids have 2 kids each, youngest boy had 1 child, 2 of his 3 kids have their spouse also living at bro’s house.) Big bro just shook his head and looked at me as if I’m heartless. He doesn’t know this but his kids don’t like him. They will not take care of him when he gets ill/old.
Cuz, thanks for the update. 62 years old and a heart attack. Sounds more like a stroke if he’s affected b one side of his body. My mom’s youngest brother (uncle) and my mom’s sister’s son (cousin) both had a heart attack this year. My cousin almost died. As soon as they were able to stabilize him, they medivac him to the mainland. But, Both of them are walking. My dad had a stroke last year, his left side is messed up. He can’t move his left arm at all (could but refused therapy). So, if it’s a stroke, please let your family know that your uncle must have physical therapy within 1 year of the stroke. It will be very painful but sooooo worth it! If he delays therapy after that 1 year mark, his disability might be permanent.
And Cuz, that was one very wicked humor you just posted! I was trying to imagine How the bear would be Christian… ;)
'What majestic trees!' 'What powerful rivers!' 'What beautiful animals!' He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out: 'Oh my God!'
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'
'Am I to count you as a believer?'
The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'
'Very well', said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'
Just thought I would pass along some family news. A cousin of bobbie and me had a heart attack this week. I think he is 62. Because of the heart attack and possible stroke he is blind in one eye and his one side is messed up. He had nine kids but only a couple still live at home. He drove truck for close to 40 years now. When I find out more I will let ya know. luvCuz
Hi Y'all, Mom is doing better since her fall on Tuesday. As usual the trip to the ER has gotten me sick. I want to say it's just my asthma and it will go away, but it has been getting worse all day. Yesterday was the one year anniversary of James heart attack. We wanted to take tomorrow to celebrate his "second birthday" but that went out the window when I had to stay home with mom this week and now I'm sick.I have so much to be grateful for yet I'm feeling rather blue. I just wanted to wish you all a great weekend and please remember to take care of yourselves.
Hi everyone. Another weekend rolling in! CNY expected nothing and got nothing from that storm. Is cold tho! But will be 60 on Sunday! Gonna put the Christmas lights on the house so I won't have to do it in a couple weeks and freeze my fingers off. Last football game of the season for my son tomorrow. Hope it is a good game! Now the family will vanish and I will have to beg (or pay)for time away on a Saturday! :( Just going throught these emotional ups and downs lately and haven't had the energy to write... Just tired I guess. And mom has been sick. She is doing pretty good for her-and is getting better. It is just tiresome and stressful. I need a nap. Been good reading your posts. I was picturing a TV show about Caregivers reading about the chase scene in the store....made me laugh out loud! The Fartpants scene would only be good if we had smellivision so ppl could really understand! HaHa Anyway-have a good one all! Mame
Just a quick checkin. Still out of work, but doing volunteer work at my son's high school. I have trouble believing that he has gotten so old and so tall! Hugs to all of you who were so supportive in 2011 when my mom passed away suddenly. Hanging in there with the in-laws. They still think that moving within 60 miles but not calling means that they are close to my husband...ah, well. Helen
Hey Bobbie, I wouldn't paint that beautiful wood either! You must be exhausted from all that work. The sanding alone will kill you. Hope you continue to make progress and keep warm in the process. Read something on FB last night that made me sad. A lady who was a neighbor forever, is going to be put in NH by her kids. She is in her early 90's and lost her husband to dementia a couple years ago. Not long after he passed, her kids got her into senior housing here in town. She was always a whiner and complainer about her health and life in general, but would drop everything to help her family. She had a heart attack last year and nearly died because her family thought she was just trying to get attention again. She was in the hospital for a couple weeks and then rehab. I visited her there once and listened to her usual complaints and found out that one of her daughters had not spoken to either of her parents for over 12 years, due to something insulting that her mom said to her. She did slip into her dad's room at the NH just before he passed, but still did not see her mom. Poor lady cries all the time because she can't remember what she said so long ago. This ladies 5 children would not be where they are if it weren't for their parents giving them $$ whenever they needed it. They even sold their house to the youngest son years ago, and gave the $$ to the others. Now she is at a point where she can't live alone and no one will take her in. I just think it's so sad that they are going to place her right before the holidays. It's a sure bet that no one will take her home for Thanksgiving or X-mas. Both of her older daughters are at home and have never worked, but will not help her. The youngest son and daughter have been checking on her and cleaning her place since she has been there and the oldest son's wife does her laundry, but has her elderly parents to keep an eye on too. When I spoke to her at the NH last year, she was so sad that she was only able to keep a few of her possessions in her little apartment. Her children either threw out or gave away everything else. Pretty sad! My sil keeps wanting to go through my fil's things and do work in his house so she doesn't have to deal with it all at once when he is gone. We told her to leave everything alone until he's gone. No need for him to feel like he is being hurried along! He should be comfortable and surrounded by all the things he is familiar with. Sorry for the long babble, just sad for someone who is feeling abandoned by their family.
Chilly here this morning on the boat. Have sanded out the window frames and have decided to seal them with clear resin epoxy and then varnish to protect from the sun. Just couldn't bring myself to paint over them. Classic boat gets classic trim.
Hope everyone is doing as well as they can with the circumstances they are dealing with.
Jen!! Deef!! Austin!!
Wonder why Cricket doesn't check in? We've been asking for her for weeks! Hope you're ok Cricket.
Linda good to hear from you-we survived the two storms -ready for spring-I used the wood stove this morning it was nice-tomarrow hope to get back to my normal life after the wedding and the funeral it has been about 6 weeks since I have spent any time at our senior center..
good morning all . austin - im about ready to fire up the woodstove . didnt have them fired up yet cuz my sister complains she cant breath in those heats , waaaaaa now shes gone to her boyfriends for the weekend i guess i shall get it fired up .
bobbie - am glad u like the sox s , i love em , they keep my feet warm ahhh . wish i could be on the boat with ya and paint . after leavin my hubby a few time , it just kills him he cant stand it with me begin gone too long lol . called my sis in texas , shes so sick . man i wish i could go there and hang out with her , maybe get her allbetter ? first need to gather up about 10 ricks of wood and i bet i can go down there ? shall wait n see .
i am still not working other than clean my house lol . i dont want to deal with people at work . been there and done that and it just sucks . people can be so mean ..
jen - hang in there sis . maybe he ll catch one hevvla bad colds after begin out n about in his shitty pants . man oh man . whats wrong with monty ? howlin crying ? ? big hugs to u jenny looo .
you all try to have a happy day , fog is loomin over here , 2 hours delay for kids , daughter called said shes not going to work today , her son is sick with sore throat . oh boy his sister was just over it last week . school starts and now every child is loaded with germs , blahhhhhhh . i dont think i could ever be thier teacher . woo . love you all . xoxo
Just a quick hello. Thank you for your encouragement and suggestions. Mom does not qualify for Medicaid because between her SS, a pension and her LTC insurance she earns too much money to qualify. The house we live in was placed in a trust about 6 or 7 years ago so that doesn't effect medicaid. I am mom's POA but unless the court can declare mom as incompetent I cannot force her to sell the house or go into a NH. I don't know if this is the same around the country, but it applies in SC. Medicaid is a federal agency but each state administers their program making each state different from the other. Mom is looking a little brighter this morning but we have a replacement caregiver today. Just having a new person with mom sets her extra nutso. I can't complain because unlike the folks in NJ, NY and CT, I have electricity, a roof over my head and food on the table. I'll count my many blessings.
I have to get running for the day. For those under the weather, take care of yourself and feel better. Those up north with snow I hope it doesn't cause too many issues for your day. Have as good a day as possible.
I was very pleased that after I wrote a note about not getting AC notifications in my inbox they got back to me right away and fixed the problem-thank you AC.
Deef I am so sorry you have all that work to do woth the snow along with everything else you have to do I am very lucky until 2 yrs ago I did my own drive with my baby snow blower but started falling down too much so my son does mine or my nice neighbor and just do not go out after 25 yrs having to get to work no excuces it is nice not to have to deal with the weather woes now.
Dodged another bullet here! Got about an inch of the white stuff and it already melted off the front steps and sidewalk. Town ordinance requires that sidewalks in front of residential property has to be cleared within 48 hours. As I have tenants, I have to get out right away and clear things up. Have a 60' driveway on one side of the house and a short one on the other side. Both are against the house, with fences on the other side on the property lines. It is very challenging to keep the driveways clear. All the snow has to go either to the front of the house or into the yard. We have to park our cars in the driveways all winter due to narrow streets and a town wide parking ban. So, lots of shoveling and car moving, there are 5 cars between us all, all winter long. We have a snow blower, but have to get the cars out of the way to get it to the front of the house, so we are slaves to our shovels all winter. Can't wait to drag Mom and wheelchair to and from the car for daycare all winter! Help just called. Kids have a 2 hour delay, so she will be late. Guess I'm on my own getting Mom up and running today. Later!
Bobbie I was going to ask about the boat angel-I missed so much being away two times.Diane I think that house is a good idea tell the sibs in two weeks someone else will have to step up-if you mention NH it might wake them up to the fact that all their money if they have any will go to the government for medicaide and they may be willing to finally help.
DEEF: Donating FP to the government for "fossil fuel testing." I'm LMAO. Talk about FRACKING. Poor Jen has to deal with it every day. JEN, does the water in your faucet come out on fire?
Now Stormy mentioned FP sounded like he was trying to pickle and preserver his fumy ass. OK, let's go with the flow. (no pun intended) Give him an enema with extra crushed cloves. After all the holidays are coming. Better yet, just put crushed cloves in his pants. Maybe it will make the smell and spread some cheer.
Cat – I guess Diane doesn’t qualify if staying at the home for so many years, Medicaid will not take it? I read that here somewhere. I could have misunderstood. These things are just so complicated – spending down, gifts, 5 years, payback gifts, etc…
Stormy – that was funny about the impossibility of piling the parents and telling them to not move or else you would get weird looks. I was thinking more along the lines that your parents will embarrass you and say, “Who are you, Young Lady, to tell your parents what to do! We raised you better than that! Disrespectful to your own parents!” And then, they will proceed to do what THEY want to do. And for sure, people will be giving you the Rotten look (or call APS for elderly abuse).
Lildeb – HUGS!!! to you for what you’re going through. I hope it’s not so bad at all!
Austin – I was laughing as I read your mom’s undressing at Taco Bell. At least you both found it funny at the time it happened. I would be torn between being embarrassed or laughing about it.
I just called the clinic to follow-up on the head catscan. The insurance came back NOT approving the heat catscan. Instead they recommended that I get a head MRI – which is what they approved. Can imagine an INSURANCE making that decision from spending MORE on a procedure? From catscan to MRI. The first time I had major headaches for 2 weeks in a row (woke up,all day, went to sleep with headaches), the catscan came back negative. Next major headaches, my doc tried for neck MRI to see if I have a dislocated disk. Insurance denied saying that they do not cover MRI. This same insurance, now confirming an MRI when the original request was a catscan. Go figure…All well, go with the flow...Will update you all as it occurs.
Hey bobbie. Last time I checked I think I had them all. We still sleep with the bedroom window open a bit. Temps have been around 27 in the morning and in the 50's. Their talkin maybe 60's for the weekend then the cold front moves in for good I think and they are even talkin the white stuff for next week. evryone doin ok up here. Joyce's mom (94) has a case of upper bronkeial cough but is doin ok. Aunt Hank still goes out to rake leaves everyday but is slowing down big time. Keep warm cause I'd hate to have to come down and warm ya up. Hugs to ya. LoveCuz
Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste far better without the shit inside!"
No need to thank me, I just try to learn something new every day.
Jen, my boys have played football in the AZ heat. The coach used to say that they all smelled like they had swamp ass or mud butt and demanded that they showered after practice. Mud butt reminded me of FP. I used to laugh at the coach saying crap (no pun) like that. Now, it'll remind me of FP. And Hawaiian music. Ooooh, nooooo! I sometimes wish that people had expiration dates, so we'd know when we/them are headed for the great dirt nap.
Austin, that wood stove sounds like a lot of work, but I bet it's cozy! Still snowing and blowing here and the ground is covered now, but not much accumulation. A quick scrape with the shovel tomorrow morning should clean it up fast. Book, I sure hope you get to rest on your day off! Seems like even when we have the time, we don't catch up on sleep. Judy, Mom used to have anxiety attacks in the grocery store and start to hyperventilate, drool and get nauseous! I would have to leave the cart and take her home. The last time we took her to a public place was about 2 years ago after a neurologist visit. We went to Taco Bell for lunch and part way through, we caught her just as she was pulling her shirt off over her head!!! Merry and I picked up and hustled her out of there pronto!! We never laughed so hard when we saw the expressions on the other patrons faces as we left. 91, Wow! Not for me. I would rather have the snow than the extreme heat. Had enough of that this summer! Diane, Sorry your mom fell again. Those skin tears can be nasty. Hope they glued them for you. I used to have the doctor glue and stitch mom, because she would pick at the bandages until they came off, then she would pick at the tear! If you still want to keep her at home, maybe you should go the wheelchair route like I did. Very few incidents with Mom after that. She got used to being strapped in after a while and it's so much easier for all of us to deal with her. Just a suggestion if your plan doesn't work out. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you! Lildeb, hope your biopsy goes well. Sounds like an ouchy coming your way! At least you can rest the night before you have to get up so early. Good luck!! Jen, maybe you should donate Fartpants to the government for "fossil fuel" testing. Something that old and deadly could be a real ASSet. As for the same 4 records over and over, why don't you nuke them for 10 minutes. I'm sure they would sound much better! As for him leering at you, tell mom you refuse to sit at the same table as he does at meal time. I don't blame you for getting away from that FDOM!!! Okay, time to feed 4 hungry cats, then bed! Night everyone!!!
Well, ya'll have got me cracked up here with ya'll talking about- crazy parades, doing a enema on tv, and fartpants. Hehe........ Jen- girl it sounds like he is trying to pickle/preserve his stinky ass so he can live longer, it might be good for him but hell for the ones that have got to stick around and endure the fumes. Yucky!!! And i know dads parents they died in their early 60's and dad will turn 80 in march. Make you wonder how long are they going to be here. Bobbie- The boat sounds wonderful, when can we go for a ride, we need a one way ticket outta caregiving hell. Can you fit all of us on there? The boat really does sound nice it's been a long time since i been on one. Last time was a cruise about 25 years ago. Deef-I wish we could get some snow. Oh my Connor bug would love that!!! So would Stormy. We rarely get snow here maybe once in the winter time and it's usually only a couple of inches. Send some this way!!!!!! Book- Sorry you are having a relapse, maybe you can get some rest and sleep monday. Call somebody in and take a tylenol pm and go to bed. Or can you take tylenol pm? I know i am already starting to stress about connor being out of school for the holidays (thanksgiving) that means that i am going to have to carry him with me to dads and my stress level always go up when i have to deal with dad and connor together. I don't know what it is but it's like connor tries to push my buttons while we are over there. I just hate having to carry him over there. It just brings back memories of me having him over there for those 12 hour days when he was 3 yrs old. Well got to get off of this subject it's depressing me!!!!!!!!!! I hope you feel better tomorrow book! hugs Diane- Good luck with finding a new place, sounds like a good plan. Let the sibs see what you have been going through. Me and my sis look after dad and our brother hardly ever comes by. He and dad never got along much. I've never really gotten along with dad. I just do what i got to do when i am over there and then i am gone. So i know about the sib not helping out. And it sucks!!! Judy- I can just see you walking around trying to find your mom and dad in the store. Lord, how do you do it? I would need a drink when i got home. And a smoke. Come to think of it, i think i would take the 4 kids over the 2 wandering parents also. At least i could pile all of them in the buggy and dare them to move, can't really do that with the parents, and if you did, boy i bet you would be getting some weird looks!!!!! Hehe..... Cat- i am sorry that your chance to get away is going to be a depressing one. That really sucks. And a costly one on top of that too!!! But i will still be thinking of you and the family. I can't even imagine what the parents are going through. So sad :-( hugs Lil deb- I will keep you in my prayers that everything goes alright with the biopsy. I am sorry you are having to go through this. And i know i hate it when i can't have my coffee in the mornings, my day goes to hell when i can't have it when i get up. So i know how you feel. But just keep thinking positive thoughts and know that we all are here thinking about you and praying for you!!! Many hugs to you. Good Luck. Well, i know i forgot some just know i am thinking of you all and i hope you all know i appreciate the support all of you have given me over the last couple of weeks. I am glad that i am feeling better too!!!! So ya'll have a good nite and a good thursday! love and hugs stormy
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Okay you asked for it and you know me so here goes..LOL
Part 1: My trip to Ca was wonderful! I spent a total of 3 days with Christina and it was great to get to meet her face to face. As many of you know she and I have become best friends since we met here and we had been corresponding through emails and pouring out our hearts to each other over the last year. We have truly become sisters on a soul level. Just to be able to spend that time with her meant the world to me! While there we went to visit her Mother and Christina has her in a lovely home where there are only 5 women total with a full staff and there was a fantastic smell in the house of food cooking on the stove. When we walked in 3 of the ladies were sitting in rocker recliners, Christina greeted each one of them by name and asked how they were. They were so cute and happy to see her. Then we went in to see her Mom and she was so cute but very frail. She was sitting in a rocking chair and had a huge bib on and was listening to beautiful old Irish music! Her Mom was clearly very well cared for but it was obvious that Christina putting her Mom in a home was the right decision. She needs care that takes more than one person to do. Christina brought a fresh pear and fed that to her Mom then got into a box of See's chocolates kept in a drawer and gave her a piece of that. She tried talking with her Mom but she didn't get much out of her that was very coherent. I tell you truthfully, watching Christina with her Mother brought tears to my eyes it was both beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time, and yet she goes and spends time with her like that daily or every other day while working full time with their business, and takes care of her husband, home and yard beautifully. She treated me like a queen when I was there, I am so blessed how could I not share all of this with you here! I'm just sorry it took me so long to do so. I will continue in the next post. .
I think caring for him is easier because i love him so much. It must be extremely difficult if the person you are caring for is not your favourite person in the world.
Meanwhile, you take what you can and for now he is still your horse. I hope you guys get to have a few more adventures.
You're such a good soul.
Bookworm Ya I guess Cricket isn't coming back. Was just hoping that because she and Christine met on the thread that they would share some of their experiences with us. It's always a positive thing when we get to live beyond this forum whether it be fb or meeting in person.
In the meantime many of us are still here and I guess that's what counts to the new ones finding themselves in caregiving.
Guestshop! it is good to hear from you and it's amazing how much can happen to each of us in such a short period. Hope you check in again real soon.
Deef!! you continue to amaze me with your patience and resourcefulness. Thanks for being here! That dinner sounds wonderful.
I got invited to a dock party last night and they had fried potato sandwiches and deep fried Oreos. Ewwww. Even though I tossed most of it off the dock and into the darkness I have been eating antacids all night. That's the last time I eat anything to make someone else happy.
Linda! wearing your sox again!
Diane hope you feel better soon.
Jen!! play Frisbee with the Hawaiian music and plug in anti stinks in his room. Wish I was rich I would land a helicopter and scoop you up.
Mame! Love your little pic with you in your dress. Try to find something funny to laugh at. The only sanity we have is when we laugh good and hard.
Cuz! Sorry to hear about Cuz P. Like I said in my email to you, it's scary for all of us when someone our age has a stroke or heart attack. Hope he has the support he will need in order to survive this.
And I thought this was funny:
"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?"
Happy Sunday all and I love you all more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
Mame, Hope you cheer up soon and your mom feels better. We've all been there for sure.
Diane, I know how difficult it is to get a "clean catch" from a diaper wearing demented person. Impossible to get without contamination unless a catheter is used. Last time I took mom to the ER and spent 3 hours waiting for the results. It's such a pain to go to the ER, but they can find out faster and give her an IV antibiotic that will have her acting more sane by the next morning. I don't know about you, but getting my mom to pee on cue just ain't happening! Sorry you are sick. It's hard to stay healthy when we are so run down. I know when I get a cold, my asthma is hell on wheels! Hope you can get the right meds for mom and you feel better soon.
Jen, How's it going? Why don't you set FP outside at the top of the ramp and let him go!!!!
Linda, If you can make ends meet without working, more power to you! I can start collecting Social Security next August and even if Mom is gone by then, I think I will just enjoy the peace and quiet for a long while!
Mom had a very good day today. fter being really cold all week, we had a warm and sunny day today. It was mid 60's this afternoon, so I made Merry take Mom out in the sun on the front porch for a while. I think she just wanted to sit in the house and knit, but mom really enjoyed being out.
My daughter and her husband are celebrating their 5 year anniversary today and made their special dinner like they do every year. Of course we are always invited and I am stuffed and satisfied beyond all else! Chris cooks Veal Marsala and Lex makes her own version of Tiramisu. Both were DELICIOUS!!!!
It's late, but I need to get some ornaments base coated before bedtime. Hope you are all having a good weekend!
It's been a rough 24 hours with mom. She has been hallucinating all sorts of crazy stuff, thinks I am poisoning her, trying to hit me, spitting at me, crying and more. I called the doctors office and they said moms urine specimen was contaminated so we still don't know what type of bacteria is causing the uti. I'm still feeling like crap coughing, spluttering and fever thanks to our visit to the ER.
Sorry, gotta go, mom is calling.
Deef – It’s sad isn’t it how much parents do for their kids, and then when it’s the parent’s turn to need help, the kids either ignore (as it’s Not Their Problem) or dump them at NH (and never visit.) That’s why I keep telling sis and oldest bro to quit babying their adult kids. Can you believe bro-of-next-door wants to build an apartment for his kids? so that when he dies, they own something? I told him that they’re adults (age 28, 26, 24) and should be out of his house, have a job (both sons do NOT have a job but living off the parents) and supporting their own family (2 of his kids have 2 kids each, youngest boy had 1 child, 2 of his 3 kids have their spouse also living at bro’s house.) Big bro just shook his head and looked at me as if I’m heartless. He doesn’t know this but his kids don’t like him. They will not take care of him when he gets ill/old.
Cuz, thanks for the update. 62 years old and a heart attack. Sounds more like a stroke if he’s affected b one side of his body. My mom’s youngest brother (uncle) and my mom’s sister’s son (cousin) both had a heart attack this year. My cousin almost died. As soon as they were able to stabilize him, they medivac him to the mainland. But, Both of them are walking. My dad had a stroke last year, his left side is messed up. He can’t move his left arm at all (could but refused therapy). So, if it’s a stroke, please let your family know that your uncle must have physical therapy within 1 year of the stroke. It will be very painful but sooooo worth it! If he delays therapy after that 1 year mark, his disability might be permanent.
And Cuz, that was one very wicked humor you just posted! I was trying to imagine How the bear would be Christian… ;)
An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out:
'Oh my God!'
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'
'Am I to count you as a believer?'
The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'
'Very well', said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'
When I find out more I will let ya know.
luvCuz
Mom is doing better since her fall on Tuesday. As usual the trip to the ER has gotten me sick. I want to say it's just my asthma and it will go away, but it has been getting worse all day.
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of James heart attack. We wanted to take tomorrow to celebrate his "second birthday" but that went out the window when I had to stay home with mom this week and now I'm sick.I have so much to be grateful for yet I'm feeling rather blue.
I just wanted to wish you all a great weekend and please remember to take care of yourselves.
Love ya,
Diane
Just going throught these emotional ups and downs lately and haven't had the energy to write... Just tired I guess. And mom has been sick. She is doing pretty good for her-and is getting better. It is just tiresome and stressful. I need a nap.
Been good reading your posts. I was picturing a TV show about Caregivers reading about the chase scene in the store....made me laugh out loud! The Fartpants scene would only be good if we had smellivision so ppl could really understand! HaHa
Anyway-have a good one all! Mame
Read something on FB last night that made me sad. A lady who was a neighbor forever, is going to be put in NH by her kids. She is in her early 90's and lost her husband to dementia a couple years ago. Not long after he passed, her kids got her into senior housing here in town. She was always a whiner and complainer about her health and life in general, but would drop everything to help her family. She had a heart attack last year and nearly died because her family thought she was just trying to get attention again. She was in the hospital for a couple weeks and then rehab. I visited her there once and listened to her usual complaints and found out that one of her daughters had not spoken to either of her parents for over 12 years, due to something insulting that her mom said to her. She did slip into her dad's room at the NH just before he passed, but still did not see her mom. Poor lady cries all the time because she can't remember what she said so long ago.
This ladies 5 children would not be where they are if it weren't for their parents giving them $$ whenever they needed it. They even sold their house to the youngest son years ago, and gave the $$ to the others. Now she is at a point where she can't live alone and no one will take her in. I just think it's so sad that they are going to place her right before the holidays. It's a sure bet that no one will take her home for Thanksgiving or X-mas. Both of her older daughters are at home and have never worked, but will not help her. The youngest son and daughter have been checking on her and cleaning her place since she has been there and the oldest son's wife does her laundry, but has her elderly parents to keep an eye on too.
When I spoke to her at the NH last year, she was so sad that she was only able to keep a few of her possessions in her little apartment. Her children either threw out or gave away everything else. Pretty sad! My sil keeps wanting to go through my fil's things and do work in his house so she doesn't have to deal with it all at once when he is gone. We told her to leave everything alone until he's gone. No need for him to feel like he is being hurried along! He should be comfortable and surrounded by all the things he is familiar with.
Sorry for the long babble, just sad for someone who is feeling abandoned by their family.
Chilly here this morning on the boat. Have sanded out the window frames and have decided to seal them with clear resin epoxy and then varnish to protect from the sun. Just couldn't bring myself to paint over them. Classic boat gets classic trim.
Hope everyone is doing as well as they can with the circumstances they are dealing with.
Jen!! Deef!! Austin!!
Wonder why Cricket doesn't check in? We've been asking for her for weeks! Hope you're ok Cricket.
Alright, helper on boat so have to go.
lovbob
Du Du Du Du Du Du Circus Afro ....Polka dot Polka dot Polka dot Afro!
austin - im about ready to fire up the woodstove . didnt have them fired up yet cuz my sister complains she cant breath in those heats , waaaaaa now shes gone to her boyfriends for the weekend i guess i shall get it fired up .
bobbie - am glad u like the sox s , i love em , they keep my feet warm ahhh . wish i could be on the boat with ya and paint . after leavin my hubby a few time , it just kills him he cant stand it with me begin gone too long lol .
called my sis in texas , shes so sick . man i wish i could go there and hang out with her , maybe get her allbetter ?
first need to gather up about 10 ricks of wood and i bet i can go down there ? shall wait n see .
i am still not working other than clean my house lol . i dont want to deal with people at work . been there and done that and it just sucks . people can be so mean ..
jen - hang in there sis . maybe he ll catch one hevvla bad colds after begin out n about in his shitty pants . man oh man . whats wrong with monty ? howlin crying ? ?
big hugs to u jenny looo .
you all try to have a happy day , fog is loomin over here , 2 hours delay for kids ,
daughter called said shes not going to work today , her son is sick with sore throat . oh boy his sister was just over it last week . school starts and now every child is loaded with germs , blahhhhhhh . i dont think i could ever be thier teacher .
woo .
love you all . xoxo
Just a quick hello. Thank you for your encouragement and suggestions. Mom does not qualify for Medicaid because between her SS, a pension and her LTC insurance she earns too much money to qualify. The house we live in was placed in a trust about 6 or 7 years ago so that doesn't effect medicaid. I am mom's POA but unless the court can declare mom as incompetent I cannot force her to sell the house or go into a NH. I don't know if this is the same around the country, but it applies in SC. Medicaid is a federal agency but each state administers their program making each state different from the other.
Mom is looking a little brighter this morning but we have a replacement caregiver today. Just having a new person with mom sets her extra nutso. I can't complain because unlike the folks in NJ, NY and CT, I have electricity, a roof over my head and food on the table. I'll count my many blessings.
I have to get running for the day. For those under the weather, take care of yourself and feel better. Those up north with snow I hope it doesn't cause too many issues for your day. Have as good a day as possible.
Love ya,
Diane
Help just called. Kids have a 2 hour delay, so she will be late. Guess I'm on my own getting Mom up and running today. Later!
Now Stormy mentioned FP sounded like he was trying to pickle and preserver his fumy ass. OK, let's go with the flow. (no pun intended) Give him an enema with extra crushed cloves. After all the holidays are coming. Better yet, just put crushed cloves in his pants. Maybe it will make the smell and spread some cheer.
Stormy – that was funny about the impossibility of piling the parents and telling them to not move or else you would get weird looks. I was thinking more along the lines that your parents will embarrass you and say, “Who are you, Young Lady, to tell your parents what to do! We raised you better than that! Disrespectful to your own parents!” And then, they will proceed to do what THEY want to do. And for sure, people will be giving you the Rotten look (or call APS for elderly abuse).
Lildeb – HUGS!!! to you for what you’re going through. I hope it’s not so bad at all!
Austin – I was laughing as I read your mom’s undressing at Taco Bell. At least you both found it funny at the time it happened. I would be torn between being embarrassed or laughing about it.
I just called the clinic to follow-up on the head catscan. The insurance came back NOT approving the heat catscan. Instead they recommended that I get a head MRI – which is what they approved. Can imagine an INSURANCE making that decision from spending MORE on a procedure? From catscan to MRI. The first time I had major headaches for 2 weeks in a row (woke up,all day, went to sleep with headaches), the catscan came back negative. Next major headaches, my doc tried for neck MRI to see if I have a dislocated disk. Insurance denied saying that they do not cover MRI. This same insurance, now confirming an MRI when the original request was a catscan. Go figure…All well, go with the flow...Will update you all as it occurs.
LoveCuz
Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."
And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing."
And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first?
Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste far better without the shit inside!"
No need to thank me, I just try to learn something new every day.
I sometimes wish that people had expiration dates, so we'd know when we/them are headed for the great dirt nap.
Book, I sure hope you get to rest on your day off! Seems like even when we have the time, we don't catch up on sleep.
Judy, Mom used to have anxiety attacks in the grocery store and start to hyperventilate, drool and get nauseous! I would have to leave the cart and take her home. The last time we took her to a public place was about 2 years ago after a neurologist visit. We went to Taco Bell for lunch and part way through, we caught her just as she was pulling her shirt off over her head!!! Merry and I picked up and hustled her out of there pronto!! We never laughed so hard when we saw the expressions on the other patrons faces as we left. 91, Wow! Not for me. I would rather have the snow than the extreme heat. Had enough of that this summer!
Diane, Sorry your mom fell again. Those skin tears can be nasty. Hope they glued them for you. I used to have the doctor glue and stitch mom, because she would pick at the bandages until they came off, then she would pick at the tear! If you still want to keep her at home, maybe you should go the wheelchair route like I did. Very few incidents with Mom after that. She got used to being strapped in after a while and it's so much easier for all of us to deal with her. Just a suggestion if your plan doesn't work out. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
Lildeb, hope your biopsy goes well. Sounds like an ouchy coming your way! At least you can rest the night before you have to get up so early. Good luck!!
Jen, maybe you should donate Fartpants to the government for "fossil fuel" testing. Something that old and deadly could be a real ASSet. As for the same 4 records over and over, why don't you nuke them for 10 minutes. I'm sure they would sound much better! As for him leering at you, tell mom you refuse to sit at the same table as he does at meal time. I don't blame you for getting away from that FDOM!!!
Okay, time to feed 4 hungry cats, then bed! Night everyone!!!
Jen- girl it sounds like he is trying to pickle/preserve his stinky ass so he can live longer, it might be good for him but hell for the ones that have got to stick around and endure the fumes. Yucky!!! And i know dads parents they died in their early 60's and dad will turn 80 in march. Make you wonder how long are they going to be here.
Bobbie- The boat sounds wonderful, when can we go for a ride, we need a one way ticket outta caregiving hell. Can you fit all of us on there? The boat really does sound nice it's been a long time since i been on one. Last time was a cruise about 25 years ago.
Deef-I wish we could get some snow. Oh my Connor bug would love that!!! So would Stormy. We rarely get snow here maybe once in the winter time and it's usually only a couple of inches. Send some this way!!!!!!
Book- Sorry you are having a relapse, maybe you can get some rest and sleep monday. Call somebody in and take a tylenol pm and go to bed. Or can you take tylenol pm? I know i am already starting to stress about connor being out of school for the holidays (thanksgiving) that means that i am going to have to carry him with me to dads and my stress level always go up when i have to deal with dad and connor together. I don't know what it is but it's like connor tries to push my buttons while we are over there. I just hate having to carry him over there. It just brings back memories of me having him over there for those 12 hour days when he was 3 yrs old. Well got to get off of this subject it's depressing me!!!!!!!!!! I hope you feel better tomorrow book! hugs
Diane- Good luck with finding a new place, sounds like a good plan. Let the sibs see what you have been going through. Me and my sis look after dad and our brother hardly ever comes by. He and dad never got along much. I've never really gotten along with dad. I just do what i got to do when i am over there and then i am gone. So i know about the sib not helping out. And it sucks!!!
Judy- I can just see you walking around trying to find your mom and dad in the store. Lord, how do you do it? I would need a drink when i got home. And a smoke. Come to think of it, i think i would take the 4 kids over the 2 wandering parents also. At least i could pile all of them in the buggy and dare them to move, can't really do that with the parents, and if you did, boy i bet you would be getting some weird looks!!!!! Hehe.....
Cat- i am sorry that your chance to get away is going to be a depressing one. That really sucks. And a costly one on top of that too!!! But i will still be thinking of you and the family. I can't even imagine what the parents are going through. So sad :-( hugs
Lil deb- I will keep you in my prayers that everything goes alright with the biopsy. I am sorry you are having to go through this. And i know i hate it when i can't have my coffee in the mornings, my day goes to hell when i can't have it when i get up. So i know how you feel. But just keep thinking positive thoughts and know that we all are here thinking about you and praying for you!!! Many hugs to you. Good Luck. Well, i know i forgot some just know i am thinking of you all and i hope you all know i appreciate the support all of you have given me over the last couple of weeks. I am glad that i am feeling better too!!!! So ya'll have a good nite and a good thursday! love and hugs stormy