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Hey everyone I am starting to feel alot better, thank the Lord. I never had a stomach virus to take this long to get over. I felt like hell yesterday. Sis told me to take one of dads omepazoles she said that it is suppose to last for 24 hours so i took one and it maybe lasted about 20 minutes then the heartburn was back so i took some baking soda water and finally that helped. And i picked connor up from school came home and ate some chicken broth and a bunch of saltine crackers and i think that broth helped, it felt good going down my throat. Started feeling better after i ate that. Then last night i started tackling santizing (sp?) the bathrooms and bedrooms. I still have got to work on connor's mattress where he threw up on it and it went through to the cloth of the mattress. I worked on it some the other day but i was still feeling nausea from it and had to quit. And i need to vaccum the hallway and bedrooms and shampoo the carpet. I want to try to get rid of all traces of that stomach virus.
Well, dad had a chest xray last week because he said his right lung was hurting. It's the same one that he has had pleural effusion in and they have drained it several times. I picked up the report yesterday and it said everything was normal. Said the reason for the xray was for bronchtis. So i guess thats what his got. I dont know if that will show if the pleural effusion has come back or not. Well it did say no infiltration. So who knows what is going on.
Deef- you were right i think i needed to eat, but i had no appetite plus everything i ate gave me the hb. But i do feel better. Thanks for the advice. I am so sorry that you got upset, sometimes it is good to have a good cry. But i know how it is to see old friends it takes you back to a simpler time when things were actually fun and happy. Take care friend and hugs to you.
lil deb- how are u doing?
Cat- I am still thinking of you and what your family must be going through. My prayers are with you. Love and hugs
Austin- So sorry to hear of your mom's passing and the conditions that it was in with hurricane Sandy. Prayers for you and your family.
Bobbie- Hey there, hope you are doing good.
Book-I am sorry you are feeling sick, having the cold sucks. I know i sure have had enough of them. Several months ago i was getting one every month right before my period. It was like clockwork. And it was all coming from this thyroid mess. Has your mom's fever gone down? I hope you and her feel better soon. Hugs to you.
Well i need to get off of here and do something even if its wrong. Talk to ya'll later. Love and hugs stormy.
Eldest- Welcome to the group!!!
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Glad you feel better this morning, Deef. I've been pining for Massachusetts since I got back from my trip, so its nice to hear you say its cold and there could be snow next week! Sorry! This time of year, before the real winter begins, and in the summer, I always feel a little tug on the heart from that area of the world.

I'm heading to the hospital this morning. My good friend's son has severe disabilities. He's an adult now, but functions like a non verbal toddler. He aspirated the other night. I know this sounds awful, but I was wondering if it was a good thing or bad, that she found him in time. She's been tube feeding, diapering him, bathing him his whole life. Its been her whole life for the past 20 years, and with a young person like her son, when does it end? When she dies? Then she worries about what will happen to him when she's gone. I'm ranting. I've just got to go be supportive this morning. Her son and one of mine are the same age. When we had them in strollers, we always thought they'd be best buddies too, not realizing the extent of her son's disabilities. Its all so sad. My boy is off at college, chapping my ass with his antics, and hers is still stuck in infancy/toddelerhood. Sometimes, having a chapped ass is a good thing. Got to go shower and get going. I missed visiting hours last night and they wouldn't make an exception. Maybe I should get some donuts to feed the nurses. Its always good to grease the nurses' station!
Hope everyone has a good weekend. I wish we were on the sea wall, bundled up, with a thermos of that soup, Deef!
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Good morning!!!!!! Sorry about yesterday. Momentary meltdown. I think my hormones are letting me know they are still capable of SCREWING with me! I'm 61 for God sake! Be DONE and GONE!!!!!
Got up just in time to see a beautiful sunrise. Didn't get dressed and outside to take a picture in time and was bummed out. Haven't slept well in many nights. Restless legs are working overtime. Or, maybe it's just the full moon we just had.
Mom is already getting restless and I will need to get her up before help gets here, but I thought I would let you all know I'm okay.
My "baby" brother called yesterday and is going to come visit Mom either today or tomorrow. Hope he brings the kids. My nephew is 5 and a real hoot! He and I get into all kinds of trouble when he is here. Ruby, his 12 year old sister, is too grown up for our highjinxs, but Reed is always ready to rumble with me. I have no grandchildren, so I latch on to any kid I can!
Told my bro Mom needs night time diapers, so he ordered them while we were on the phone. One less expense! He is Mr. MOm by day and a musician at night and on weekends. Luckily they have to gigs in New York City anytime soon.
It's cold here this morning and I need to get the pool drained a bit more and take all the hoses off and get the pump disconnected and into the cellar. It's going to be cold doing all that but it needs to get done. There is talk of a North Easter coming up the coast next week. I am not ready for snow yet.
Made a pot of chicken tortellini soup yesterday. Perfect soup weather.
Looks like Mom dosed off again. She had a good day yesterday and was in a good mood when I got her from daycare. She actually fed herself supper without making too much of a mess. I let her sit a bit too long after her PM pills and had a really hard time getting her ready for bed. Think I did something to my let arm/shoulder when muscling her around. She was practically asleep on her feet! I think she was out when her head hit the pillow and that's a good thing!
By the way, I just read on another thread that Austin's Mom passed away after an illness that started right after Maxine got home from her wedding trip.
I'll be back later! Hope everyone has a peaceful day.
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Thank you deefer and lildeb for being so welcoming. I am so glad to finally have an outlet for everything I am feeling and people who can commiserate. My dad is still living at home but I cook and clean for him and do all the driving.
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Hugs, Deef.
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Deef
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Lildeb, The wheelchair is great! Mom is more comfortable with the thickly padded seat and back. The frame actually has some spring to it, so when she is agitated and the PD gets her body going with movements she can't stop, it seems to calm her down. When I am home alone with her, I often retreat to my apartment on the other side of hers. I have cameras that are tied into my laptop and can watch her every move. As she needs constant care, Someone is pretty much always with her. So when I have no help, I park her in front of the TV with a show she likes, and leave her alone for a while. She seems the calmest when there is no one to distract her. I get to knit or catch a show on TV and can watch her too. Even though she doesn't grasp too much anymore, she still likes her solitude once and a while.
By the way, I'm a short person too! I'm 5'1" and my daughter is only 4'10". Everyone else in my family is much taller than me. Guess I belong to the milkman!!!
Stormy, The heartburn may be because you have no food in your stomach. Try some toast or other bland food and get something into your stomach so all the acid doesn't back up on you. I have lived with acid reflux since I was 13, and it's no fun! Hope you feel better soon.
Had to get things for Mom at Walmart today and ran into a childhood friend I haven't seen in years. She moved to Florida many years ago and was here visiting her sister. She saw me and thought of Mom when she was younger then I spotted her sister and we both realized who we were at the same time! Just talked for a few moments, but wish we had more time. It kind of brought tears to my eyes for all the years that have gone by and how we spent so much time together when we were growing up.
Sorry, I started crying just writing this. time for a break.
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Good Morning Crew,

Cat! What terrible news.
The ultimate desperate act for a poor soul who just is so sad. Angels to you all for enduring yet another loss.

Breathe. And know we're all here.

lovbob
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Good Morning Crew,

Cat! What terrible news.
The ultimate desperate act for a poor soul who just is so sad. Angels to you all for enduring yet another loss.

Breathe. And know we're all here.

lovbob
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Wow Cat. I am sooo sorry about your nephew. White light and prayers for you and all your family. Mame
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Cat, so sorry about your nephew.
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Deef and lil deb- I am still feeling out of sorts with the aftermath of the stomach virus. Still kinda feeling sick to the stomach, having heartburn and no appetite whatsoever, I haven't eaten much since i got over it and that was tuesday afternoon. I just wish my stomach would feel normal again. I did eat a plain hamburger today thinking that would make the heartburn go away but it didn't. Well, maybe tomorrow i will feel better. I hope so. And i hope no body else gets this mess either.
I haven't caught up on all the posts yet so i will try to do that maybe tomorrow. Ya'll have a good night and a good day tomorrow. Love and hugs stormy.
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Cat- I posted on your wall. I am so sorry to hear of your nephew's passing. It is so sad to hear of a young person taking their own life. I wish there was more i could do for you. Just know that i am here for you if you need to talk, you know how to get in contact with me. My love and hugs to you Stormy.
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Deef, I know that I am short but if you look way down you should be able to see me. I couldn't help myself. ; )
I guess the trick or treators wore them out. I know some have been sick with the flu bug too.
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meanwhile, I want your dad over here for he built you 8 birdhouses n painted them too, wow! Love the little joke n they deserve that one. Splash.
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Hi everyone: I'm not going to go into a lot of detail right now, but will share more later. It's only 7:15pm, but I'm tired and going to head for bed here shortly. My nephew, who was 34 years old committed suicide this past Monday night. It's a long, sad story filled with people who tried to help him every step of the way.

My bil and sil raised him and his brother after their mom had been murdered by her ex-husband. Sometimes you just can't put all the pieces back together, no matter how hard you try and how much you love.

The memorial service will be a week from this Saturday and Warren and I will be going to California to be with them. We are in contact daily with Rick and Cyn. We love them so much and they have been through more than most of us can imagine.

I posted about this on Lisa's thread. Deef and Book, thanks for the wall posts. I appreciate your understanding and heart felt wishes.

I've been trying to make sense of it all. I don't think it's possible, but my heart is filled with compassion for those who walk a path that can't be endured and those that try to save them. It's such a weight to bear on those left behind.

I'll share more later. Just wanted to give you the basics.

May love and white light fill your lives and light your path. Love, Cat
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Deef, just read your recent post n glad to hear u got a little break n that your mom enjoyed herself at the day center. Those little breaks sure do go fast but they do make a difference. As for property taxes, don't get me on that mess for they have went sky rocketed on one of ours. my mnl don't like a lot of people around her either for she for some reason gets confused more than usually. I guess they start to wander why they r their in the first place n so on n it just makes them nervous then agitated more. Plus, the normal routine has shifted to what may seem a very busy conversation n movement that she cannot keep up with n that can cause some agitation. You may see if she just like to watch some t.v. in her room for that may relax her somewhat?
Stormy, sorry the whole family got the bug n y'all just keep that wherever y'all got it from please. Glad yall are feeling a little better. We all got r flu shot last Sunday so hopefully none of us will get it too bad. some good ole fashion soup n crackers always sound good when u r trying to recover from the flu bug. keep us posted on how yall r doing.
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I hope that everyone and loved ones came through the storm OK. Gong to be a long haul for a lot of people for months there...

The usual haul here...listening to my mother try and explain the ballot issues to grandpoo. Hilarious. What ever.

Supposed to be a mild winter for us in Spokane, Wa. I hope so, one less thing ya know.

We had about 55 Trick or Treaters this year, several with handicapped kids or adults, that was new. Either more people with special needs kids, or modern society finally decided it was shameful to hide them away like they were unclean.

One little girl was a Geisha! My God, I have come full circle, I went as a Geisha when I was 9!

Hi to everyone new and returning grossed outers. I think anyone doing any kind of caregiving, who has anything to say is welcome here. Yes, even if ya think we are bad bad people to grouse and complain. Such is life.

Have a good weekend and beginning to November all. jen
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christina, you mom sounds like she knows what she still likes when it comes to a hunky man. It seems if the love one is getting taking care of that we can relax more n I am glad your mom is getting treated good in the hospice.
Eldestdaughter, Sibs r hardly around when it comes to helping as a caregiver n sorry your dad health is declining. Is he in hospice? You can see about seeing a counselor for that can help you deal with the situation. You also always have us here to talk, vent n a shoulder to cry on n evening some joking too. Consider us as your cyber-family that has or is dealing with similar situations that understands n cares too. Hugs to you.
Deef, your dad passed away at a very young age too like my mom. it sadden me to hear that your mom health has declined. This adds more work on you as you will have to do everything for her. How has the wheel chair been working out for her?
Book, have you ever had a Lupus Sle lab work test done? I had to see a Rhematologist to test my ANA titers. Lupus sle can cause different pains in joints n other places. I wouldn't won't anyone to have this disease n mine is in remission for past 10yrs. I would keep seeking for help to find out what is going on unless it is Stress. We all know that stress can make you feel sick. Not sure if their is a test for Stress but I would check into that too. Something is going on with your body so keep searching. You r in my prayers.
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Where the heck is everybody??? Bad day for everyone or just lurking?
Mom had daycare yesterday, so help was here today. I took advantage yesterday and got my car inspected. We have to do that once a year here in Mass.
Today I paid the property tax bill which is now over $800/ quarter. I got home and the water bill came with the mail!!! Can't win.
I finally got to Lowe's and picked up lumber so I can cut the pieces I need to start painting for the craft shows. Tomorrow I will be working in the cellar cutting and sanding what I need. Found a pattern for a cute nativity set that I want to do and some cool animal patterns. The bodies and feet are wood and the arms are fabric tubes with the hands glued onto them. Some of them have hand painted canvas ears. Been wanting to do the animals for years, just never got around to it.
Mom was good after daycare yesterday and ate well and had a good night's sleep. Today, Merry's daughter came to sit with her. By mid afternoon Mom was having one of her hissy spells and got all agitated. She did the same thing last time Merry's daughter worked. Come to find out, her spouse came for a while and then her daughter got dropped off.I think all the activity got Mom agitated. Any of you would know that the more people in a room with a person suffering from dementia, the more confused they get. Once we got her into the kitchen and fed, she got better and was all set after that.
I'll have to tell Merry that if her daughter is going to sit with Mom, her family can't be coming and going while she is here. It's just to confusing for Mom.
Sharon, It's definitely time to get someone to step up with your Mom. She should not be alone anymore and she needs to make a decision about her finances. An elder lawyer should be able to take care of that to her satisfaction, as long a she is still able to comprehend the process.
Christina, Glad you and Crickett had a nice visit!
Meanwhile, great joke!
Book, antibiotics do the same to me! Fix one thing and break another.
Stormy, sorry you all had the stomach bug. Hope you feel better soon!
How is everybody else? Jen, Diane, Maxine, Lildeb, Cattails,Ese, Renarad, Judy, Linda, Bobbie!!!!
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Hey everyone, just checking in. I have been down with the stomach virus. First, connor then, me and then hubby got it. So for the last 3 three days we all have been in stomach virus HELL!!! We are still trying to get back to normal. So maybe i will feel better later on tonight and can chat more with ya'll. Talk to ya later. Hugs stormy
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Sharyn, it wasn't just 1 doctor. Well,he was the only one who said that I was a hypochondriac. All the others before him said that I was looking for attention or that my headaches/stomacha aches (severe PMS) was all in my head. When I was attending college, I went to see the attending doctor. He also works at the hospital. He actually told me that my headaches were learned behavior from my mother. Just because my mom never got diagnosed with migraines, he Implied that perhaps she needed pyschological help. And repeated that I was experienced "imitation" of my mom. I had another doctor- about 8 yrs ago, when I told her that my stomach pains were so bad, that it felt like there was a bowling ball inside. She did not aggressively pursue the problem. When I said that my PMS was getting worse, now I have to take Midol, the doc -aware of my aversion to to take pills - said to me: that there is nothing wrong with taking medicine when we need it. I have learned from an early age of middle school to current - that doctors do not take seriously when I complain about pain. (Maybe they have other patients who have no problem exaggerating their pain.) I have been seeing doctors about my headaches, etc... It's just that now, the pain is not only on my head...

But, I will figure out what to do. I need to find a good doctor. I need a female doctor so that I can be open to her. I'll figure it out....

Well, in the pasts, whenever I take antibiotics, I get severe yeast infection. This time, I decided to experiment (to avoid taking the pill). I've been eating yogurt every day. So far, so good!
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Meanwhile – I laughed on your joke. I was in the office when I was reading it. I had to cover my mouth so that the laugh did not escape. I copied and pasted it to my Word File: Funny – AC. Thanks!

Christina – thanks for the update. Liked the comment about the male relief CG. The caregivers that comes – also hired a male. My dad was so upset. He didn’t want a Man to clean him! (I thought it was funny and laughed quietly.)
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Hi Everyone,
Cricket is on her way home on a red eye flight, and I'm up at 1 am working on my stuff for tomorrow. We spent 2 days here and yesterday at her daughter's house.
It was awesome, like we had known each other for years. I know she'll tell you more about it because she talks WAY MORE than I do. LOL
Hope you are all well, surviving the tolls of caregiving. I bet you missed Cricket. She is a wonderful, healthy, very loving person, and I am so fortunate to call her my BFF.
My Mother is hanging in there. Some days she talks, but mostly tries to sing. I am more at peace, and I think she is. She is not irritable lately, and I am thankful for the more frequent attention she gets from the hospice nurse. The male relief CG on Wed/Thurs is very cute, which she noticed. One day Mother said, "I need a hunk." I said, "Yes, Mother, we all do." Oi vey.
The kids are great, each is happy with their relationships and jobs. Hubby and I are way too busy with work, but we are thankful for that Blessing.
I think of you all, and know new caregivers here are nurtured and encouraged by your example. You are very special women. And a guy once in a while:)
Love and Hugs,
Christina xo
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I am happy that those of you who were in "Sandy's" path weren't impacted like many of the others have been.
Book~I have to agree with the others that your symptoms are the result of a real ailment. Even if it is stress related, the symptoms are real and can be dealt with medication. Don't stop seeking answers to the symptoms because one dr. years ago said you were a hypochondriac. Some dr.'s just have no ability to see beyond what they have experienced and aren't willing to look for something else. If you need to go to another dr. then do it.
As far as all the burping and farting go, that is something I don't have with my mom. However!!!, my husbands family finds these bodily noise quite humorous and they make a BIG deal about it by spreading their aroma to everyone in the room, Lol!! You either learn to fit in with it or you don't come around them very often!! They have gotten better as they have aged, thank God!!! Have a good night everyone and happy ZZZZZ!!
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I haven't read current post which I do shortly. I wanted to update you on my mom's situation. I copied this post from what I wrote on the Dysfunctional thread.
Today was my sister's day to visit with mom, take her grocery shopping,etc. Well it didn't turn out so good for sis. Mom was out of control trying to find things she lost, blaming my sister for stealing them. Mom had lots of paperwork out all over the place looking for her checkbook, paperwork. Sis said she was running back and forth from the kitchen to the bedrooms digging thru everything and yelling at my sis the whole time accusing her of taking things. Sis called comcast to cancel the cable tv cause mom refuses to watch it, she called direct tv to see if they would reduce or waive the penalty fee for mom cancelling her contract early since she has Alzheimer's. They told her she would have to write a letter. She never took her grocery shopping cuz she couldn't handle mom with the accusations and witnessing her decline. She left a message on my cell and I called her on my lunch. She was in tears over it saying mom needs to be on medication and I couldn't deal with her, mom locker herself in the bedroom and sis left. I told her this is why I wanted you to see her more often helping because this is what I have been going thru the last few weeks with her. She can't manage things anymore and we need to be checking in with her personally more often. I think I am going to call her dr. in the morning to make an appt. with a neurologist that comes to his office once a week. If mom throws a fit when I take her in then I will have to deal with the fall out at that time, but if I can get her evaluated and on an antidepressant or anti-anxiety med, then all the better even if I have to go over to her house every morning to give it to her.
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Eldestdaughter, You are not alone. Everyone here is dealing with some form of stress from medical issues with loved ones they are caring for. And you are right! No one wants to listen to us unless they are one of us. Almost all of us are feeling the isolation that you are. Absent siblings, friends who have no idea and don't want to know. I take care of my Mom who has Parkinsons and dementia. I have 6 siblings, most of who are close by, and they asked me to quit my job 5 years ago to care for Mom. They don't call and rarely stop to visit. Mom's dementia has progressed to where she is in a wheelchair all the time and can't do anything for herself. The PD makes her very unsteady on her feet, and the dementia has robbed her of all common sense when it comes to her own safety. She needs constant care, washing, dressing, feeding, and is totally incontinent both ways now.
Although her general health is good, her mind is almost not there anymore. My dad passed away 31 years ago at the young age of 54, so I have pretty much been here for Mom all these years. I found this site about 3 years ago, out of desperation and the need to talk to someone who knew what I was going through. Many good friends have come and gone, mostly due to losing the one they cared for. I still keep in touch with many of them through e-mail or phone calls. This is definitely a good place to come and vent! You can be gross, sad, mad, or just plain silly! Someone will always reach out and talk to you and give you encouragement.
So make yourself at home and hang out and talk with us whenever you feel the need.
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It's not really the grossness of dealing with elderly parents, even though I cringe at his burping, farting, terrible eating habits and bad breath, it's the constant dealing with him dying every day. He's had bi-passes, a pace maker, stomach bleeds arrhythmia and now an abdominal hernia. The stress is horrendous and there is never anyone to talk to about it. My sisters are mercifully in another state. I automatically want to talk to my mother about things like this and I always realize, like a shock, that she's dead. She can't help.
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A priest and a pastor from the local church are standing by the side of the road, pounding a sign into the ground that reads: "THE END IS NEAR! TURN YOURSELF AROUND NOW----BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!"
As a car speeds past them, the driver yelled, "LEAVE US A ALONE, YOU RELIGIOUS NUTS"
From the curve, they heard screeching tires, and a big splash. The pastor turns to the priest and asks, " do you think the sign should just say "BRIDGE OUT"?
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Mame, you do look great in that dress. I'm trying to come up with projects for step Dad. He loves to build things. He just finished a hay feeder for the horses. So I mentioned some bird houses to hang in the trees would be nice. That was 2 days ago, he showed up this afternoon with 8 very nice bird houses, different types for different types of birds, all painted a pretty blue.
Book,. you are not a hypochondriac. Have you tried sleeping on your side, with a pillow between your knees, and another pillow to throw your arm over? I can't sleep on my back either, same thing my throat gets so dry. I have an old whiplash injury (from getting bucked off a horse and landing on my head). So have to be careful with my neck too. I saw the sleeping with 3 pillows on Dr Oz, and it works for me. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I switch sides too.
Bobbie, glad to hear boat Angel is doing well.
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