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Book I agree, a massage therapist, or even a physical therapist can do wonders. Hope you get to feeling better. Jen, I miss your snarky remarks too. Bobbie, glad to hear the boat is safe, and a man that cleans a cat box, he is an Angel.
Just a quick peek since it's 640am and will need to start the day with parents. Jen, I have noticed that there was a lot of problems on this site and YOU. I've mentioned in YOU if anyone there knew how to contact this site's employees to alert them of the "comment erasing" seems to be increasing more and more and that more people are not receiving email alerts on Both threads. AC has responded to me by personal email that they are working on the problem.
Jen, another poster contacted AC by email and they responded to her. They adviced her to do Like on Facebook (whatever...I don't have FB.) Maybe you can try that? It did Not work for her, though. Otherwise, you may need to contact AC so that they are aware that you also are having that problem.
I decided not to take painkiller lastnight. I don't want to become addicted to Motrin - bad stuff eats a hole through your stomach. So, I slept in pain and Purposely Turned in my sleeping position from left to right, etc. I refuse to give in to the pain. I will Not sleep in one position the whole night because of the pain. Needless to say, when I woke up this morning, I touched my right shoulder, and almost screamed in pain. I will not allow this pain to rule me. ... when niece comes this morning, I'm going to ask her if she can massage me. Before she does, I'm going to take Tylenol to help me bear the pain as she presses on it. (Won't work but maybe psychologically it will.)
Oh, I told the doc about how I was worried I was having a heartattack that night it happened (the pain.) Even though SIL said it was anemia, I decided to take an asprin just in case. The doc asked me if it worked. I said, "No, but it helped me psychologically." Doc just stared at me.
There was one time in my life that I had a similar pain as this. It was in my early 20's. I was at work, and felt this pain shoot from my left shoulder down to my left arm and up to my left side of my head. I couldn't move my left arm and I couldn't turn my head to the left. father took me to the ER. EKG showed normal. Conclusion: Clavicle Spasm. I stayed home from work for 1 week and the pain did Not Subside at all. Finally, father took me to the local healer who deals with the local beliefs for healing. I drank the yucky green stuff and she massaged me Hard from the back, to my neck to my head. I wanted to scream in pain. Before we left, she gave us a whole gallon of that yucky med. It worked! I think I have it again but now on my right side. So, no local meds, but niece can try massaging me. Worse case, I can call around and find a decent massager (not the one that have sex with their clients).
Thanks Kuli for the kind post. Hope it starts to get easier for you and for all of us no matter where on this journey you are.
I got the nicest book from Christine! She sent me a text/manual on loading ships and what an education! Thanks Christine! Hope you and Cricket had a great time and I can't wait to hear some details.
It really is amazing that we have been able to make friends on this thread and be comfortable enough to actually visit back and forth here and there. Very cool to be able to bond like that.
Meanwhile! I agree and think that poor Book is suffering from stress and whatever it brings to the equation. Lack of sleep is a real problem and Book! I hope you can get the help you need and get yourself healthy so you can live your life well after caregiving.
I know that when I was in the trenches I would just not pay attention to what I needed and only worry about my mom. I am here to tell you that caregiving can really hurt you without the proper support and other people helping.
It takes 3 (THREE) people to care for 1 (ONE) old sick person.
I didn't know that when I was doing it and I know that many of you don't know that as well. It's true. That's why we get so depressed or physically beat up or overwhelmed so easily.
We think that we can do the impossible and we can't. When we think that we can do the impossible we get sick and hurt and the effects are long reaching.
OK, end of rant.
Jen!! We will never reach the limit for snarky comments. Pretend we are telling a story: What would you do to Don Ho if you ever had to meet him? Love you precious Jen.
Cat and Diane! Hope you are doing as well as possible and yes, the storm will be offshore from us. We are only experiencing a little overcast and it hasn't rained yet. The tide is higher than usual and since I am on a fixed dock that doesn't float with the height of the water I split my shorts right about where I keep my private parts getting back on the boat. Boat is tall and I am climbing up the side as opposed to using steps or a ladder. Probably because I don't have any steps or a ladder....
The Boat Angel is doing ok and I just hope he continues to hold steady and hopefully heal. I still find myself holding my breath at times.
The Cat is doing well and the Boat Angel will call the Cat Bitch-a Lot because she is a talker and Shits-a-Lot or because she is a crapper. He is the one who cleans the catpan first thing every morning or at any time she uses it. It's great. I have never seen a man do that and I know he's a little OCD about it but he does it, doesn't gripe to me about it and keeps it all spotless. That type of OCD I can live with. He does the dishes too.
Mame! hope you and your husband are going to be ok and whatever is going on doesn't affect you guys.
Ted is doing ok and will be closer to the storm than me but it's still not supposed to come ashore there, but North of there where my mom's house is/was.
I hope Austin will be ok and do we have anyone else in the path? Just take it seriously. Supposed to be power outages and they could go on for awhile. I can't believe that 41 people were killed in the Caribbean. Terrible.
Hope you all are doing as well as possible and Cuz!! whassup? We're going to be worried about you if you don't holler out. Love you you and J and D and T and your mom.
OK, got to get off the boat and go do a dock cart full of laundry. The washer on the boat failed and a new one is $$ so there you go. At least there's a nice laundromat nearby and it goes pretty quick.
Thanks bookworm, I checked. they are all checked still. I'll let em know it is just this one thread. Maybe I have reached my limit for snarky comments? :)
Everyone east side of US stay safe ! watching the weather channel here...Looks like a thirty year storm coming...
Hawaiian music on last night. turned the volume up on the TV.
Diane – I hope your garage sale works out. Sis had hers today. They still had so much that was not bought. I contributed some stuff. She asked me about the ones that wasn’t bought. I said throw it. Her daughters looked at me. And I said that I didn’t want it….I hope those roaches get obliterated.
Meanwhile- I’m aware of the dangers of lack of sleep. It causes a LOT of health problems. Not only that, research has shown that the lack of sleep Cannot be made up by taking a nap in the daytime. It’s very important to have at least 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Seeing a doctor won’t solve my problem. Hiring someone to do the night shift will. But siblings and I calculated the cost – and it’s just not an option if NOT all of my siblings contribute to the cost. And even if they did, it’s just too expensive.
Kuli - I'm sorry about your dad. Always treasure the love and relationship you had with your father. It's something special that not everyone has experienced. I'm glad that you had that with your father. HUGS to you!!!
Cat, my sis agrees with you. She says that I need to go off-island to get a complete check-up on all my problems. Of course, sis has always wanted to go the Philippines.
I'm at sis' house and will be leaving soon to go home and do the parents' pampers. Since pain is radiating and throbbing, I ate again and took a Motrin. I will need it in order to drive home. Driving to the clinic was an experience. I had to use my left hand to do all the heavy work - turning, etc...Anyway my doc was off today. So, I saw another doc. Had EKG - 1st one came out wrong, nurse had me remove my rings. 2nd one came out wrong, nurse had me remove eye glass. She did the 3rd one, looked at it and compared it with the 1st two. Then, did another one (#4.) Doc came in. My EKG shows that there my heart has a partial damage on it. He asked for my heart history. Then asked what I was doing prior and during the pain. He listened to my heart - heard very faintly my murmur. He said that blood test can show if there's anything wrong with my heart. So, I had 5 vials taken (including for potassium.) 2 hrs later - the results came in. Nothing is wrong. So,I'm back to taking Motrin - not for my headache but for my newly acquired pain. Stress. I need someone to be with me in changing their pampers. I may think I'm handling it fine, but obviously my body agrees with you all. Have to go now. Hopefully, the Motrin kicked in so that I can drive home. Later!
Thanks for thinking of me Bobbie. I went to the cemetary - brought dad a coffee and cinnamon melt from macdonald's - his favorite. Had a good cry, said a prayer, and hope that I can say the first year was the toughest to get through. Dad would be so mad that I'm still crying one year later but after taking care of him for so many years, it's not so easy to just STOP! I know in my heart he's in a better place but my mind still worries about him. Again, thanks for thinking of me/us. It's one year by the date but I had my biggest meltdown on Wednesday when it was the actual day one year ago that he went on to bigger and better things. Who would have known that it was as hard to lose them as to care for them? Boat time got me through so many tough times during the caregiving part! I can't thank you enough for that! I do hope I am able to visit at some point. Love you more than you know, Kuli
Book, you have me worried. It has been proven that lack of sleep; is terrible for your health. Can you see another Doctor? Good luck with your garage sale, Diane, hopefully that will pay for the exterminator. Mame, sorry your Mom is sick, and being so needy. I know how that goes. I try to be understanding, because I know when my Mom is sick it really knocks her for a loop, but it is hard (especially the whining). Still waiting for the results on StepDads CT scan. Very frustrating. Hope everyone has a good weekend.
It's my turn for the garage sale tomorrow. I'm certainly not as prepared as I would like, but I'm doing the best I can with Mom getting hysterical thinking the house is on fire. At least tonight bedtime went pretty smoothly. She has had some quality time with me the last few days so I hope we will both get through this latest phase. Well I gave in and called the pest control to come in and kill off these freakin roaches!!!! It's going to cost about $200, but I can't take this any longer. They come on Wednesday and its not a day too soon!!!! I may be eating PBJ sandwiches for the next two weeks but its something I have to find the money to do. All of you in the northeast keep an eye out on hurricane Sandy. THey keep saying she is going to be a "super" storm. It's breezy here is SC. Bobbie I know you are in a new location but I hope you and the Boat Angel are safe.
I have to have a shower and crawl into bed. have a good night everyone and I'll check in tomorrow!
Bookworm, Angels to you as you go to the clinic. We will be waiting to hear what is going on with you! Crew! Working hard here and love to all with all that you do.
Kuli! I know today is the day. Love and angels to you Kuli.
Lastnight while typing on the laptop, I had a sudden pain from my upper right chest, to my upper right back, with my right arm feeling funny like heavy, tingly. Texted SIL on symptoms and asked if it's a heart attack. (Remembered seeing Rosie's own symptoms and couldn't believe that just from those symptoms she deducted heart attack.) SIL asked me if I eat this or that, going thru menopause, etc... She said it sounds like what she went thru and doc said she was anemic.
All night I couldn't sleep. Pain was bad, throbbing. Plus very difficult gettting off the bed cuz whole right (chest, back and arm) would give out pain. Suctioned mom. Then first time I laid down, pain shot up that I yelped in pain. Woke up father. After that, every time up and down the bed, I handled the pain without noise. Went to restroom during the night, when done and leaving, I turned the handle, excruciating pain shot up. Woke up this morning - pain still there. Neck is stiff. Sigh...although the pain has lessened, I think I will go in as a walk-in to the clinic. Signing off now to do parents, feed them breakfast, then get ready to go to the clinic.
Mame -- I had bronchitis once. Doc prescribed penicillen. Didn't work. I kept coughing and coughing. Went to gynecologist for follow-up visit on my surgery. I happened to mention that I have bronchitis and still coughing the same (not going away.) Doc started asking which meds I'm on, and I kept saying no,no, no. Finally, He asked what was prescribed. I said, "Penicilin." You should have seen the look on his face! He then replied, "Let me prescribe you this medicine. I guaranty it will stop your coughing." And it did. And this - from a gynecologist...Hope your mom gets better now that she has the antibiotics.
Mame, I hope your hubby is not one of those to be laid off. Economy has been terrible for years now. And they wonder why the middle income family has dramatically decreased? Because the breadwinners are all losing their jobs and end up poor like everyone - homeless or on the govt housing program.
I'm still trying to do my budget. I just wanted to take a peek here. Sorry folks for writing a long (boring) comment above regarding the Excel. I sometimes get carried away when I try to share with family on my Excel for Budgeting, auto-medical-dental expenses. I'm mostly proud of the medical one. I need to remember to send an attachment of all my Excel files to my private email (for ebooks and notes). This way if my laptop crashes, I still have a copy in my private email. House burns down or a typhoon destroys it, I still have my files in my email.
Good morning all. Got mom to the Dr yesterday and she has bronchitis. So, on antibiotics and prednisone and nebulizer... She had a good night last night-coughing but not needy (of me). We will see how she is this morning. My hubby is communicating with me like crazy this morning. Unannounced layoffs today! He is freaking out and I am nervous but trying to keep him calm.
Cat, I didn't really think my vision turning black was serious until the doc kept muttering that he didn't like my "blacking out." I always thought of "blacking out" to alcoholics who black out and don't remember what they did. It's a long process. It will take about a week for the insurance to approve/reject the catscan. Then it will take several weeks to find an opening with the radiology department (we only have 1 on island.) Either way, I will update you all if anything new happens.
Oh, I forgot, Stormy...now that you will be having lots of medical costs/updates/test results, I would like to recommend that you do a Chart on it. Starting Now while it's still fresh. When I was normal, I never needed a chart. Then when I hit age 41, darn, one problem after another - complex ovarian cysts, severe endometriosis, heart infection, etc....All starting on 2007. When I started having to do all the doctor's visits, the prescriptions, all the catscans and xrays done, the cost.. in 2007, I made a chart using the Microsoft Excel. I can send you to your email address a Sample of my Medical History in Excel, and send you a Blank one for YOURS. One attachment of the Excel chart is good. I have One Chart but I can open a "Sheet" for Each Year.
What I do is I have the date and day (2/04-Sun) and the CLINIC (type pharmacy name, clinic name, radiology name), DESCRIPTION (Cholestero Test, or Annual Check-up, or Renal Ultrasoun, Echocardiogram, etc then next line below I would put what the doctor recommends and also the BP, weight, cholesterol test results in Trig, HDL, LDL, etc...), RESULTS (Blockage in Colon, Not kidney stones, Subacute Bacterial Endocarditis), COST (Actual cost $202.85 for the pap exam), PERCENTAGE (my insurance is 20/80 and I pay 20%. so , then I type $40.57), DATE (of payment, and how I paid cash, chk or credit card), on the side, I also type the RECEIPT number. I've also programmed it to automatically add the cost of each visit to the Grand Total in the bottom and the Top page for quick referencing. So, in 2007, my total medical cost $17,453.86, My 20% cost $2574.89..... In 2008, Total medical cost $15,396.73, My 20% cost $1710.51.... In 2009, my total medical cost $35,861.09, my 20% cost $5349.97.
So, I can open this One Excel Titled "MEDICAL" and I have my medical history from 2007 to current. I open 1 worksheet per year. At the end of each year, I do a summary on the bottom of the total cost of any Extraordinary medical costs.
Let me know if you're interested. But you need to have a Microsoft Excel in your computer. My Excel is old. It's not the current one. But you can always copy and paste the "formula" onto Your Version of the Excel. I think it would work. I just learn thru trial and error. Never had training on Excel.
Stormy, I'm fine. It's a long drawn out process. But I agree with everyone here that it's the stress of full-time job and caregiving. I do prefer to think it's all the fault with caregiving....because I have to constantly get up throughout the night to suction mom. So, I'm not getting a FULL night's sleep. Therefore, my body is Not Getting a Full night's rest. So,my body is exhausted and blacking out is the result of this.
When I was going through my medical problem years ago with one xray and cat scans after another, I would try to understand the results. I even Googled medical jargons of test results. I still didn't understand it. There was an online site that you can send your scanned results and they will interpret it for a fee (large amount like over $50 but under $100.) I figured I might as well wait for the doc's interpretation than to pay for that fee.
Thanks, Stormy for updating us. I do know that from the limited research I found (when Googling about Mine!) that Stress can cause Hypothyroidism. So, I'm thinking that most AC posters here are around this age. So, I think you will be hearing from them. Take care. Update when you can!
Hello everyone I wanted to thank all of you for the support you have given me. I have been MIA, just trying to deal with all of this hypo mess. But tonight i looked at my wall and saw all the comments that i had on there. I was very touched that so many of you were thinking about me. And i have posted back to everyone on their wall that posted to me. As i told book, the last two days have been very stressful with getting the test done and then this morning i picked up my report and from what i read on there it looks like things are normal. At least i hope so. I am not a doctor so nothing is for sure. I am interested in anybody else that has this hypothyroidism. Maybe i can learn something from somebody else. Cat-Thank you for thinking about me, I hope you are doing ok and i saw where the garage sale was a hit and you got to spend some time with your son and his gf. I am sure that was a good day for you. I am glad you had that. You deserve it. hugs P.s i go back to my dr in dec for the check on my levels. But i have a feeling she is going to see me sooner than that. Deef- Thank you for thinking about me. I really appreciate it. I hope you are doing ok? Book- have you heard anymore from your doctor and how is the blackouts, anymore? I really hope you are doing better. Hugs Diane-i am so sorry you are having such a hard time with your mom. My heart goes out to you. I can not imagine. Thinking of you. Ya'll i am sorry i can't get around to posting to everyone tonight. My back is starting to cramp up so i need to get off of here for a little while. Maybe later on tonight i will post the results and see if any of ya'll have any opinions on what the report is saying. My love and hugs to you all. Stormy
It wasn't that bad at all n they didn't bruise my arm this time. I just got poke 2wks ago for another doctor n they can only use one arm for the fistula is still in my right arm. I need to get where both labs can be done at the same time with one poke. I normally do that but some how it didn't work out as plan this time. I'll get it next time. Kuli, I am sorry for your dad passing and it is hard for anyone that has lost a love one. I hope u r able to feel some comfort within in your heart of all the good memories that you n your dad shared before his passing. Just because he is gone physically don't mean we have to forget. For he is at a greater-less-painful place. We will all get to meet them again when the right time come for each of us. I know it is not the same as being their physically with your dad yet, spiritually within your heart he is still with you. I lost my mom at a very young age due to drinking n taking meds on Oct. 9, 1999. I hope this gives you some comfort for I feel your pain.
I wish I had enjoyed and not taken for granted mom's "good health" this summer...she has gotten a cold and has become soooo needy...every time she moves in the night she calls me to come help her. It is like a light switch how she changes. Calling the Dr today as she is probably getting bronchitis or pneumonia. Gonna be a rough week or two! Dammit! For those of you who have trouble with losing what you post-Every once in a while I highlight what I have already written and then "copy" it so if it gets lost I can just "paste" back in what I had written and only lose a little if I had written a few more sentances. Does that make sense? Also, I have a word document that I write on and then copy it and paste it here when I am finished and want to submit it. That way, I can go back and forth from this site to the document and skip around this thread to reread what people have said. I hate losing what I wrote! Anyway, sorry so many are having a hard time with angry demented parents...I can't imagine what that is like but it must be so tough. Hugs to you all! And for all of you dealing with issues of your own health-hugs and prayers to you too.
And Kuli-when I read about the memories that you and others wish you could still be making-it makes me try and keep the memories me and my mom are making right now. It makes me hold my stare at her as she is smiling-so it will be engrained in my memory bank. Thank you for bringing it to my attention that I should do this now-while I can. I am sorry for your loss and this first anniversary of it. Off to call the Dr. for mom. Hugs to all! Mame
Jen – Can you go to your account and verify in the Email & Newsletters that your Notifications …. and …. Caregiver Connection are checked? Then go to you email account and see if you have Added " Agingcare.com" as a Contact or in your Address Book. Hopefully that will work.
Cat – the cheapest way to do that medical checkup is to the Philippines. I have absolutely no desire to go there. Never went there, either. I’ve been to Bali and that island is poorer than my own island. Street beggars following you, surrounding you. Well, they didn’t with me because I look Japanese. But I’ve seen them surround the white people. As long as I didn’t speak (in English), they left me alone. Well, they call out to me in broken Japanese but all I do is smile and nod to them while still walking. I hear that the Philippines is just as poor, with beggars, and a lot of thefts. But the deciding element of my not wanting to visit that country is the pollution. I have a very bad sinus problem and very sensitive to smoke. A heavy smoker can come into the office and sit several feet from me. I can feel myself choking and start coughing and coughing. If I stand downwind from a smoker, the same thing. Two of my doctors said that I’m not asthmatic but just very sensitive to smoke and pollen. I’ve learned the hard way to avoid even Chamomile tea. My problem is that I really don’t know how my body would react if I went and landed there. I just really rather not go to the Philippines. BUT, if they do find something that requires major operation, I guess I will go??? It’s really difficult to say. Insurance will cover 100% if Philippines but 80% if in Hawaii or Los Angeles.
Lildeb – does your cockroach act like the ones here? The ones here, when you stump on it or whack it, it likes there dead. You use the catalog to move it a bit and it doesn’t move at all – not the legs or the antennae. Then you get distracted and decide you can get the dustpan on it later on. When you come back – it’s gone! Our cockroaches “Play Dead.” Does yours do that, too?
Diane – sorry that you are now dealing with that stage of the Alzh. When mom was going through that, father didn’t want to mess with struggling her to the restroom by himself. He just went straight to using Depends. Mom wasn’t like most here where they pick on their clothes or pampers. She was more into trying to hurt you with her hands or walk, walk and walk. But, when it came to changing her pampers, we stood her in the middle of the restroom, took off the pampers while father held her hands (which was struggling to grab me). If she makes a mess, it lands on the floor and we just move her to a new location. When done, I get to clean up the mess – just water it down the drain and use Comet on the spot. …. Maybe you can get that book that Lildeb mentioned: “Loving Someone Who had Dementia.” by Pauline Boss. Maybe it will help you to let go of the mother that you knew, and learn to embrace the mother of today. I keep checking on Ebay waiting for cheap price on it.
Deef – I don’t think I will last long with the antibiotics for the blood in urine. I have to take it 3x day for 7 days. This is day 2 and I took a total of 3 by breakfast today. My lips are tingling and feels funny. Not a good sign. Means if I continue to take it, my lips will break out with rashes along the lip line. If I still continue to take it, I will get puffy eyes and puffy lips. Sigh…my body is going to reject this. I have problems with medicines – whether prescribed or over-the-counter. I can no longer take Sudafed and Comtrex for my sinus/allergy. I’m beginning to react this way with Benadryl. I avoid medicines as much as possible. I only use Benadryl very sparingly for the really bad sinus. With Sudafed, just one pill and I have a reaction within hours.
Had to take a total of 2 Motrin today for my headache – trying to use it sparingly. Lipitor – even with 10mg – I think is giving me the headache today. This headache is different from one I've been getting the past couple of days – which were throbbing sharp headaches, with light sensitivity and nausea. This morning, I woke up with a heavy but dull headache. It was bugging me for a while when I remembered that this is the headaches I used to get when I took Lipitor last year. Every Day I took Lipitor – I woke up with a headache, went to sleep with it. At that time, I had checked online and headaches are one of it’s side effects. I’m going to have to try to Exercise so that I can get off this pill! Since he put me on the pill, I no longer need that every 3months blood test. At least he tried his best to do what I wanted – to not go on the pill. I can’t fault him. So, now I will faithfully (ha!) take that pill every day. :-)
Diane, I'm still de-stressing from getting Mom to bed here too! It wears me out when she is being so aggressive. She doesn't talk much, but she tries grabbing everything and jumps up and down off the toilet seat the entire time. I'm the one who is mouthing off just to get her attention! It's sad to say, but you need to realize your "mom" is gone and will never be back. Don't take the things she says to you seriously. She doesn't even know what she is saying. She could be hallucinating from her meds and think you are someone else. This may well be the reason she talks to you the way she does. You have to start thinking differently or you will not survive this ordeal. Just redirect her attention to something else when she gets nasty. Any distraction will usually break them out of the hissy fit they are having. Don't be so hard on yourself. Agree with whatever she says in a calm voice and if that doesn't work, just tell her you are not going to listen to what she says until she talks nice to you. If you can, walk away and let her stew a bit. When you return, chances are she won't even remember what she was bitching about. Good luck!! Believe me, I know! Lildeb, It's nice for their clothes to fit right, but when she gets to the point of not being able to dress herself anymore, larger clothes are best. My sisters always buy Mom size small or medium because she is so skinny now, but they don't have to dress her! It is very difficult to dress someone who doesn't know what is happening. Mom won't bend her arms when taking shirts off, but she'll do the opposite when putting them on. Straight arms when they need to be bent and bent when they need to be straight!!! Best to have large coats and jackets, or you will have a very difficult time dressing her. Stormy, Hope that cat scan went well. Book, How are you doing? Bobbie, Bet that boat is looking great! Jen, what? no Hawaiian music tonight? Need to hide that record player! Kuli, Thinking of you. Time for bed. Hope everyone has a quiet night!
Kuli, I'm sitting here crying because my mother may be physically alive but the mother I loved so dearly is no longer here. Ive just gone through another bedtime full of hate. She is tearing me to shreds verbally/emotionally every night. I know how sad you must feel because I know how sad I feel already. I miss the woman that used to be my best friend. Good night
Lildeb: Just want you to know I love you and always appreciate your posts and your thoughtfulness. You mil is so lucky to have you. I hate fasting blood work too. Can't stand to be deprived of my coffee first thing in the am.
Kuli: Sorry for your sadness and for the loss of the continual companionship of your father. I am happy for the many wonderful memories you do have. At some point, I hope you find that those are enough. You are blessed for having such a good dad in your life. I know he would want you to be happy and satisfied that you both had each other in this world.
Good evening to all! Although the date my dad passed isn't until Friday, he actually passed at 3:30pm one year ago today. I was working along today and it was very strange because at 3:29pm I suddenly looked at the clock and became acutely aware of the time. Had a minor meltdown, more of a major meltdown on the way home from work. It's not that I would want my dad to suffer anymore than he already did on earth. It's just that I miss him so much, just want one more smile, one more hug, one more conversation with him and I know that's not going to happen while I'm here on earth. I was reading somewhere that why it's so hard when a parent dies is because you realize you will never have any more memories with that person. The memories you have now are all that you have. I mourn the loss of making new memories with my dad. Peace to all~Kuli
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Jen, another poster contacted AC by email and they responded to her. They adviced her to do Like on Facebook (whatever...I don't have FB.) Maybe you can try that? It did Not work for her, though. Otherwise, you may need to contact AC so that they are aware that you also are having that problem.
I decided not to take painkiller lastnight. I don't want to become addicted to Motrin - bad stuff eats a hole through your stomach. So, I slept in pain and Purposely Turned in my sleeping position from left to right, etc. I refuse to give in to the pain. I will Not sleep in one position the whole night because of the pain. Needless to say, when I woke up this morning, I touched my right shoulder, and almost screamed in pain. I will not allow this pain to rule me. ... when niece comes this morning, I'm going to ask her if she can massage me. Before she does, I'm going to take Tylenol to help me bear the pain as she presses on it. (Won't work but maybe psychologically it will.)
Oh, I told the doc about how I was worried I was having a heartattack that night it happened (the pain.) Even though SIL said it was anemia, I decided to take an asprin just in case. The doc asked me if it worked. I said, "No, but it helped me psychologically." Doc just stared at me.
There was one time in my life that I had a similar pain as this. It was in my early 20's. I was at work, and felt this pain shoot from my left shoulder down to my left arm and up to my left side of my head. I couldn't move my left arm and I couldn't turn my head to the left. father took me to the ER. EKG showed normal. Conclusion: Clavicle Spasm. I stayed home from work for 1 week and the pain did Not Subside at all. Finally, father took me to the local healer who deals with the local beliefs for healing. I drank the yucky green stuff and she massaged me Hard from the back, to my neck to my head. I wanted to scream in pain. Before we left, she gave us a whole gallon of that yucky med. It worked! I think I have it again but now on my right side. So, no local meds, but niece can try massaging me. Worse case, I can call around and find a decent massager (not the one that have sex with their clients).
Thanks Kuli for the kind post. Hope it starts to get easier for you and for all of us no matter where on this journey you are.
I got the nicest book from Christine! She sent me a text/manual on loading ships and what an education! Thanks Christine! Hope you and Cricket had a great time and I can't wait to hear some details.
It really is amazing that we have been able to make friends on this thread and be comfortable enough to actually visit back and forth here and there. Very cool to be able to bond like that.
Meanwhile! I agree and think that poor Book is suffering from stress and whatever it brings to the equation. Lack of sleep is a real problem and Book! I hope you can get the help you need and get yourself healthy so you can live your life well after caregiving.
I know that when I was in the trenches I would just not pay attention to what I needed and only worry about my mom. I am here to tell you that caregiving can really hurt you without the proper support and other people helping.
It takes 3 (THREE) people to care for 1 (ONE) old sick person.
I didn't know that when I was doing it and I know that many of you don't know that as well. It's true. That's why we get so depressed or physically beat up or overwhelmed so easily.
We think that we can do the impossible and we can't. When we think that we can do the impossible we get sick and hurt and the effects are long reaching.
OK, end of rant.
Jen!! We will never reach the limit for snarky comments.
Pretend we are telling a story:
What would you do to Don Ho if you ever had to meet him?
Love you precious Jen.
Cat and Diane! Hope you are doing as well as possible and yes, the storm will be offshore from us. We are only experiencing a little overcast and it hasn't rained yet. The tide is higher than usual and since I am on a fixed dock that doesn't float with the height of the water I split my shorts right about where I keep my private parts getting back on the boat. Boat is tall and I am climbing up the side as opposed to using steps or a ladder. Probably because I don't have any steps or a ladder....
The Boat Angel is doing ok and I just hope he continues to hold steady and hopefully heal. I still find myself holding my breath at times.
The Cat is doing well and the Boat Angel will call the Cat Bitch-a Lot because she is a talker and Shits-a-Lot or because she is a crapper. He is the one who cleans the catpan first thing every morning or at any time she uses it. It's great. I have never seen a man do that and I know he's a little OCD about it but he does it, doesn't gripe to me about it and keeps it all spotless.
That type of OCD I can live with.
He does the dishes too.
Mame! hope you and your husband are going to be ok and whatever is going on doesn't affect you guys.
Ted is doing ok and will be closer to the storm than me but it's still not supposed to come ashore there, but North of there where my mom's house is/was.
I hope Austin will be ok and do we have anyone else in the path? Just take it seriously. Supposed to be power outages and they could go on for awhile.
I can't believe that 41 people were killed in the Caribbean. Terrible.
Hope you all are doing as well as possible and Cuz!! whassup? We're going to be worried about you if you don't holler out. Love you you and J and D and T and your mom.
OK, got to get off the boat and go do a dock cart full of laundry. The washer on the boat failed and a new one is $$ so there you go. At least there's a nice laundromat nearby and it goes pretty quick.
Love you guys more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
Everyone east side of US stay safe ! watching the weather channel here...Looks like a thirty year storm coming...
Hawaiian music on last night. turned the volume up on the TV.
Mame: Hope things are better and all is ok with your husband's job.
Book: I wish you would go off island for a physical.
Stormy: How are you doing?
Bobbie: Hope the incoming storm misses you.
Love to all, Cat
Meanwhile- I’m aware of the dangers of lack of sleep. It causes a LOT of health problems. Not only that, research has shown that the lack of sleep Cannot be made up by taking a nap in the daytime. It’s very important to have at least 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Seeing a doctor won’t solve my problem. Hiring someone to do the night shift will. But siblings and I calculated the cost – and it’s just not an option if NOT all of my siblings contribute to the cost. And even if they did, it’s just too expensive.
Kuli - I'm sorry about your dad. Always treasure the love and relationship you had with your father. It's something special that not everyone has experienced. I'm glad that you had that with your father. HUGS to you!!!
Well I gave in and called the pest control to come in and kill off these freakin roaches!!!! It's going to cost about $200, but I can't take this any longer. They come on Wednesday and its not a day too soon!!!! I may be eating PBJ sandwiches for the next two weeks but its something I have to find the money to do.
All of you in the northeast keep an eye out on hurricane Sandy. THey keep saying she is going to be a "super" storm. It's breezy here is SC. Bobbie I know you are in a new location but I hope you and the Boat Angel are safe.
I have to have a shower and crawl into bed. have a good night everyone and I'll check in tomorrow!
Love ya,
Diane
Angels to you as you go to the clinic. We will be waiting to hear what is going on with you!
Crew! Working hard here and love to all with all that you do.
Kuli! I know today is the day. Love and angels to you Kuli.
lovbob
All night I couldn't sleep. Pain was bad, throbbing. Plus very difficult gettting off the bed cuz whole right (chest, back and arm) would give out pain. Suctioned mom. Then first time I laid down, pain shot up that I yelped in pain. Woke up father. After that, every time up and down the bed, I handled the pain without noise. Went to restroom during the night, when done and leaving, I turned the handle, excruciating pain shot up. Woke up this morning - pain still there. Neck is stiff. Sigh...although the pain has lessened, I think I will go in as a walk-in to the clinic. Signing off now to do parents, feed them breakfast, then get ready to go to the clinic.
Mame, I hope your hubby is not one of those to be laid off. Economy has been terrible for years now. And they wonder why the middle income family has dramatically decreased? Because the breadwinners are all losing their jobs and end up poor like everyone - homeless or on the govt housing program.
I'm still trying to do my budget. I just wanted to take a peek here. Sorry folks for writing a long (boring) comment above regarding the Excel. I sometimes get carried away when I try to share with family on my Excel for Budgeting, auto-medical-dental expenses. I'm mostly proud of the medical one. I need to remember to send an attachment of all my Excel files to my private email (for ebooks and notes). This way if my laptop crashes, I still have a copy in my private email. House burns down or a typhoon destroys it, I still have my files in my email.
My hubby is communicating with me like crazy this morning. Unannounced layoffs today! He is freaking out and I am nervous but trying to keep him calm.
Oh, I forgot, Stormy...now that you will be having lots of medical costs/updates/test results, I would like to recommend that you do a Chart on it. Starting Now while it's still fresh. When I was normal, I never needed a chart. Then when I hit age 41, darn, one problem after another - complex ovarian cysts, severe endometriosis, heart infection, etc....All starting on 2007. When I started having to do all the doctor's visits, the prescriptions, all the catscans and xrays done, the cost.. in 2007, I made a chart using the Microsoft Excel. I can send you to your email address a Sample of my Medical History in Excel, and send you a Blank one for YOURS. One attachment of the Excel chart is good. I have One Chart but I can open a "Sheet" for Each Year.
What I do is I have the date and day (2/04-Sun) and the CLINIC (type pharmacy name, clinic name, radiology name), DESCRIPTION (Cholestero Test, or Annual Check-up, or Renal Ultrasoun, Echocardiogram, etc then next line below I would put what the doctor recommends and also the BP, weight, cholesterol test results in Trig, HDL, LDL, etc...), RESULTS (Blockage in Colon, Not kidney stones, Subacute Bacterial Endocarditis), COST (Actual cost $202.85 for the pap exam), PERCENTAGE (my insurance is 20/80 and I pay 20%. so , then I type $40.57), DATE (of payment, and how I paid cash, chk or credit card), on the side, I also type the RECEIPT number. I've also programmed it to automatically add the cost of each visit to the Grand Total in the bottom and the Top page for quick referencing. So, in 2007, my total medical cost $17,453.86, My 20% cost $2574.89..... In 2008, Total medical cost $15,396.73, My 20% cost $1710.51.... In 2009, my total medical cost $35,861.09, my 20% cost $5349.97.
So, I can open this One Excel Titled "MEDICAL" and I have my medical history from 2007 to current. I open 1 worksheet per year. At the end of each year, I do a summary on the bottom of the total cost of any Extraordinary medical costs.
Let me know if you're interested. But you need to have a Microsoft Excel in your computer. My Excel is old. It's not the current one. But you can always copy and paste the "formula" onto Your Version of the Excel. I think it would work. I just learn thru trial and error. Never had training on Excel.
When I was going through my medical problem years ago with one xray and cat scans after another, I would try to understand the results. I even Googled medical jargons of test results. I still didn't understand it. There was an online site that you can send your scanned results and they will interpret it for a fee (large amount like over $50 but under $100.) I figured I might as well wait for the doc's interpretation than to pay for that fee.
Thanks, Stormy for updating us. I do know that from the limited research I found (when Googling about Mine!) that Stress can cause Hypothyroidism. So, I'm thinking that most AC posters here are around this age. So, I think you will be hearing from them. Take care. Update when you can!
Stormy: Good to hear from you and sounds like your test results came out good. I'm sure hoping the very best for you. Glad Conner is better too.
Kuli: Again, sending comfort to your heart. Your dad was a good man and you were all a father could want in a daughter.
Book: How's it going?
Love to all, Cat
Cat-Thank you for thinking about me, I hope you are doing ok and i saw where the garage sale was a hit and you got to spend some time with your son and his gf. I am sure that was a good day for you. I am glad you had that. You deserve it. hugs
P.s i go back to my dr in dec for the check on my levels. But i have a feeling she is going to see me sooner than that.
Deef- Thank you for thinking about me. I really appreciate it. I hope you are doing ok?
Book- have you heard anymore from your doctor and how is the blackouts, anymore? I really hope you are doing better. Hugs
Diane-i am so sorry you are having such a hard time with your mom. My heart goes out to you. I can not imagine. Thinking of you.
Ya'll i am sorry i can't get around to posting to everyone tonight. My back is starting to cramp up so i need to get off of here for a little while. Maybe later on tonight i will post the results and see if any of ya'll have any opinions on what the report is saying. My love and hugs to you all. Stormy
Kuli, I am sorry for your dad passing and it is hard for anyone that has lost a love one. I hope u r able to feel some comfort within in your heart of all the good memories that you n your dad shared before his passing. Just because he is gone physically don't mean we have to forget. For he is at a greater-less-painful place. We will all get to meet them again when the right time come for each of us. I know it is not the same as being their physically with your dad yet, spiritually within your heart he is still with you.
I lost my mom at a very young age due to drinking n taking meds on Oct. 9, 1999. I hope this gives you some comfort for I feel your pain.
For those of you who have trouble with losing what you post-Every once in a while I highlight what I have already written and then "copy" it so if it gets lost I can just "paste" back in what I had written and only lose a little if I had written a few more sentances. Does that make sense? Also, I have a word document that I write on and then copy it and paste it here when I am finished and want to submit it. That way, I can go back and forth from this site to the document and skip around this thread to reread what people have said. I hate losing what I wrote!
Anyway, sorry so many are having a hard time with angry demented parents...I can't imagine what that is like but it must be so tough. Hugs to you all! And for all of you dealing with issues of your own health-hugs and prayers to you too.
And Kuli-when I read about the memories that you and others wish you could still be making-it makes me try and keep the memories me and my mom are making right now. It makes me hold my stare at her as she is smiling-so it will be engrained in my memory bank. Thank you for bringing it to my attention that I should do this now-while I can. I am sorry for your loss and this first anniversary of it.
Off to call the Dr. for mom. Hugs to all! Mame
Cat – the cheapest way to do that medical checkup is to the Philippines. I have absolutely no desire to go there. Never went there, either. I’ve been to Bali and that island is poorer than my own island. Street beggars following you, surrounding you. Well, they didn’t with me because I look Japanese. But I’ve seen them surround the white people. As long as I didn’t speak (in English), they left me alone. Well, they call out to me in broken Japanese but all I do is smile and nod to them while still walking. I hear that the Philippines is just as poor, with beggars, and a lot of thefts. But the deciding element of my not wanting to visit that country is the pollution. I have a very bad sinus problem and very sensitive to smoke. A heavy smoker can come into the office and sit several feet from me. I can feel myself choking and start coughing and coughing. If I stand downwind from a smoker, the same thing. Two of my doctors said that I’m not asthmatic but just very sensitive to smoke and pollen. I’ve learned the hard way to avoid even Chamomile tea. My problem is that I really don’t know how my body would react if I went and landed there. I just really rather not go to the Philippines. BUT, if they do find something that requires major operation, I guess I will go??? It’s really difficult to say. Insurance will cover 100% if Philippines but 80% if in Hawaii or Los Angeles.
Lildeb – does your cockroach act like the ones here? The ones here, when you stump on it or whack it, it likes there dead. You use the catalog to move it a bit and it doesn’t move at all – not the legs or the antennae. Then you get distracted and decide you can get the dustpan on it later on. When you come back – it’s gone! Our cockroaches “Play Dead.” Does yours do that, too?
Diane – sorry that you are now dealing with that stage of the Alzh. When mom was going through that, father didn’t want to mess with struggling her to the restroom by himself. He just went straight to using Depends. Mom wasn’t like most here where they pick on their clothes or pampers. She was more into trying to hurt you with her hands or walk, walk and walk. But, when it came to changing her pampers, we stood her in the middle of the restroom, took off the pampers while father held her hands (which was struggling to grab me). If she makes a mess, it lands on the floor and we just move her to a new location. When done, I get to clean up the mess – just water it down the drain and use Comet on the spot. …. Maybe you can get that book that Lildeb mentioned: “Loving Someone Who had Dementia.” by Pauline Boss. Maybe it will help you to let go of the mother that you knew, and learn to embrace the mother of today. I keep checking on Ebay waiting for cheap price on it.
Deef – I don’t think I will last long with the antibiotics for the blood in urine. I have to take it 3x day for 7 days. This is day 2 and I took a total of 3 by breakfast today. My lips are tingling and feels funny. Not a good sign. Means if I continue to take it, my lips will break out with rashes along the lip line. If I still continue to take it, I will get puffy eyes and puffy lips. Sigh…my body is going to reject this. I have problems with medicines – whether prescribed or over-the-counter. I can no longer take Sudafed and Comtrex for my sinus/allergy. I’m beginning to react this way with Benadryl. I avoid medicines as much as possible. I only use Benadryl very sparingly for the really bad sinus. With Sudafed, just one pill and I have a reaction within hours.
Had to take a total of 2 Motrin today for my headache – trying to use it sparingly. Lipitor – even with 10mg – I think is giving me the headache today. This headache is different from one I've been getting the past couple of days – which were throbbing sharp headaches, with light sensitivity and nausea. This morning, I woke up with a heavy but dull headache. It was bugging me for a while when I remembered that this is the headaches I used to get when I took Lipitor last year. Every Day I took Lipitor – I woke up with a headache, went to sleep with it. At that time, I had checked online and headaches are one of it’s side effects. I’m going to have to try to Exercise so that I can get off this pill! Since he put me on the pill, I no longer need that every 3months blood test. At least he tried his best to do what I wanted – to not go on the pill. I can’t fault him. So, now I will faithfully (ha!) take that pill every day. :-)
Lildeb, It's nice for their clothes to fit right, but when she gets to the point of not being able to dress herself anymore, larger clothes are best. My sisters always buy Mom size small or medium because she is so skinny now, but they don't have to dress her! It is very difficult to dress someone who doesn't know what is happening. Mom won't bend her arms when taking shirts off, but she'll do the opposite when putting them on. Straight arms when they need to be bent and bent when they need to be straight!!! Best to have large coats and jackets, or you will have a very difficult time dressing her.
Stormy, Hope that cat scan went well.
Book, How are you doing?
Bobbie, Bet that boat is looking great!
Jen, what? no Hawaiian music tonight? Need to hide that record player!
Kuli, Thinking of you.
Time for bed. Hope everyone has a quiet night!
Kuli: Sorry for your sadness and for the loss of the continual companionship of your father. I am happy for the many wonderful memories you do have. At some point, I hope you find that those are enough. You are blessed for having such a good dad in your life. I know he would want you to be happy and satisfied that you both had each other in this world.
Sending love and white light, Cat