Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Hi Y'all,
I knew when I woke up this morning I wasn't feeling too sharp. Well, it's 8:30pm and I'm just remembering mom's appointment at the Coumadin Clinic at 3:15pm today. This week has seemed like a week of Mondays!
Mom got pissed off with me this afternoon because I asked her to stop pulling and pulling tissues out the tissue box for no reason. I swear we go through tissues, toilet paper, and paper towels like an army lived here, not just 3 people. I wasted my time asking my bro to visit mom since she was in such a foul mood. Still haven't heard from him. I also wasted my time sending my sister an email telling her mom was aftraid she was going to die soon and wanted to see her soon. I really don't care if I ever see my sister again, but I sent it for mom. James has been working at the fair the last few days. He has been cooking corndogs and pizzas. I miss having his company in the evening. I'll know when he gets home by the overwhelming smell of corndogs...lol.
Otherwise nothing new and unusual here. I actually got to water my plants outside today. Isn't it sad when something so simple becomes the highlight of your day? I really need to get some time in the yard to "manicure" everything since James just cuts the grass. I need to edge the driveway, walkway and sidewalk. Plus use the grass whip against the house and fence. It's those finishing touches he just doesn't find important.
I enjoyed my class yesterday. It was a class on organized doodling. It's very similar to Zentangle. You can go to their website and find some you tube videos on it too. Just thought it might be a creative outlet while I am sitting with mom.
I'm going to sign off for now. I want to watch Grey's Anatomy tonight. I'm still trying to decide it I still like the show after the killed off some of the characters. Anyway, have a good night all and I hope tomorrow is a better day for us all.

Love ya,
Diane

Rena: Thank you for sharing with us. I think most of us learned to do what we do when circumstances changed and we had to adapt. For many it's a gradual step by step progression and you learn from many sources, this site being one. When my dad had his stroke, his circumstances changed instantly, but he was in rehab for 3 months and I learned everything that needed to be done while being there with him. I participated in his physical therapy and as he got stronger, I started helping with the bathroom routine. By the time he got home with us, I knew how to do everything that was needed. Plus, home health came for 6 weeks to help with his speech and swallow issues therapy, bathing, etc.

I always felt badly for my dad's suffering. He did not have pain, but I know he felt unhappy to be so limited. His speech was so limited that it was hard to have any serious conversation with him. All I could do was tell myself that he was safe and well cared for and accept that it was all I could offer him. He knew I loved him. I would always tell him that every night when we got him all comfy in his bed.

My dad wasn't mean or demanding. Nor was he a needy person who had anxiety. He could be stubborn at times, but not often.

I think if I was with someone like your mom who is unhappy and needy it would be very hard for me too. Is there a caregiver group that you can join in your area? Have you ever checked with your local Area on Aging to see if there is any assistance you can get with her care?

It might also be good for you to get some counseling. Having someone you can sit down with and talk about your fears may open some doors and give you new insights. You grew up and are still with your mom, someone that was/ is always fearful. Maybe you could sort through some of this with a professional and find another way to address your fears. Also what fears you have that belong to your mom, but you have taken on.

I think you are a very strong person and none of us do everything perfectly. It's trial and error many times. It's that way in everything.

One thing I can tell you for sure is it's very difficult not to lose yourself while being a care giver. After a while, you don't know where you end and they begin. It's consuming and over whelming. They are like an invisible appendage, a part of you even when they are sleeping and quiet, because we know they are going to wake up. When people are so dependent on us, it's a huge weight to bear. Often we lose the ability to see ourselves clearly because we are just focused on carrying the burden.

I know I had anxiety and depression and I had it much easier than many on this site. I think what you feel in normal, but it might be really helpful to be able to talk to a professional. In the meantime, know you are doing a good job. The goal is to find some positive ways to take care of you.

And I'll just say this for what it is worth, there are probably other options than having your mom living with you full time. Giving that some thought and consideration does not make you a bad person. Your health and mental well being are every bit as important as hers, maybe more so.

I think others will have comments too. Hope some of this was helpful.

Sending you love and white light, Cat

Rena, I feel for my mom. She's bedridden and totally a vegetable-state and outwardly is not alert. Can't talk or move a tiny finger. What a way to live. This is the mom I've come to like. My real mom - before the Alz - well....she was just a mother - someone who took care of us but gave no positive encouragements or hugs, etc... Easy to take care of her. She gets a fever - I do panic a bit. Same when she doesn't poop. But when she does, and it gets diarrhea-like, I panic and am grossed out cuz it just keeps oozing out while trying to change it. Can get yucky messy.

Father. He has always been abusive - verbally/physically. I can't even like him. He can be so mean. Plus, how you can like someone who says that he can kill you by kicking your throat while changing his pamper? My struggles - which I've never hidden here - is that he is soooo cruel with his words, that we end up with yelling matches. I have to be careful angering him because he will try to punch my head (being bedridden, he can no longer reach it now) but only hits my arm. But that's not as often now - he now uses words to hurt me. My current struggle with him is that he refuses to eat real food cuz of cavities. He's drinking my mom's stomach tube drink. Now, he's complaining that it's too difficult to poop. I tell him he needs to eat solid food but he gets angry and tells me that I don't know what I'm talking about and to just shut up. He has never taken my advice. I've had to circumvent him by getting my much younger nephew to visit and say something. He's a guy despite being so young (even when he was 17 yrs old!) and I'm a female who don't know anything.

I've detached from my parents long time ago. My problem was detaching from my siblings. We grew up together, us against the world. United to keep secrets from parents - or else we all get whippings from the thick leather belt. I almost committed suicide just this pay May/June from the stress of caregiving both bedridden parents and NO help from 7 siblings (except 1 sis). I forced myself to detach emotionally from them. They don't love me enough to help me with our parents.

I know that I'm too descriptive in this site. I don't gloss over stuff. I tell it like it is. I've once or twice, uhm..surprise people of my honesty (or too blunt talking.) But I vent here because I need to vent. And I sure have benefited from everyone's encouragements, or knowing that they're sharing what I'm going thru and I'm Not Alone. They Understand. And they know that I'm Not Exaggerating.

P.S...I'm still trying to detach more from father since his words can still send me down that depression tunnel. His favorite is that I'm a Bad Daughter - and he says this with such deep anger in his voice and face. Anger of emphasis. Sigh...It's morning, here. Time to go and start the day. Later, Rena.

Okay, this is really hard for me. My father died when I was 12. My mother had never worked, was a PTA mom. I have always felt responsible for her, mentally and physically. She was so sheltering of me. Worried about my every move, I had no independence. As she got older, I moved her from place to place, she was never happy. She is very negative and depressive. She never did anything to make friends or be social. She cried about loneliness. I jumped thru hoops to try to make her happy. i realize now, that nothing will ever make her happy.
Fast forward to now........Mom is 103, in reasonably good health and lives with me and my husband. I am in a constant state of anxiety. My heart pounds. I am on meds. She is still very stubborn and needy. I have learned to detach as much as I can. I,m always afraid I won't know what to do to help her. I feel trapped as you all do. We would love to travel and enjoy retirement. When I read your heartbreaking stories, one thing I notice is that I don't hear uncertainty about how you take care. You seem to know what to do, clean, diaper, wheelchair, all the stuff you do. How do you feel about their pain,, their hurts, their state of being? How do you detach? I love you all, reading here is really good for me. Rena

Judy: Hahahaha. You're wicked, in a good way. Glad you are home safe.

Cat

Just got back into town yesterday. I want boat time too! I miss the ocean. Realized this on my trip. I miss the sound and smell of it, being able to walk the beach. I love this desert, but the ocean made me feel alive, with possibilities. Weird. Mom was a giant drama queen on the trip. I've said on two other threads how she referred to me as "her baby" to everyone and said things like "aren't you going to give your mama a kiss?". She frikkin mental. I stayed down the street from her on this trip. My older cousins knew I needed the distance. I'm so grateful for that. I have to admit though, I messed with my mother when I was wheeling her around airports. I went to the escalator with her and told her that I was going to just take her up backwards in her wheelchair. She just about had a heart attack. I had a good laugh and then walked to the elevators. Then, we almost missed pre boarding on the way home, so I ran with her in the wheelchair. I told her when I stop fast, to just jump out. I'm sure I got some horrified looks, but, eh, if I can't have some fun tormenting the old woman, it gets boring.

I got boat time? Yeah!!!! Packing my bag right now!!!

Love, Cat

Well I was hoping Mom would sleep until help arrived, but I can see on camera that she is stirring. Guess I'll have to get her up and washed and dressed by myself, AGAIN!! I guess if I have the choice, I would rather have someone here at night to get her to bed. She is tired and harder to handle.
Bobbie!!! Been having the same problem here with posting. Write a bunch of stuff, hit submit, and it goes away! haven't been getting notified when someone posts either. Frustrating!!
Cat, Mom has no social graces left. She's like a kid when she farts!
Book, we are still able to get a diaper on Mom while she is standing. Not thrilled about when we need to do it on the bed! But all my help are CNA's with many years experience working in NH's. They have lots of great tips!
We are going to a store that strictly sells meats and deli items. The prices are fantastic! We can't find hamburger for less than $4/lb in the stores. Their add has it for $2.79 for a 5lb bag!!! Also boneless, skinless chicken breast for $1.45/lb in a 10lb bag. American cheese is $2.58/lb!!! Loin end pork roast $1.39/lb!!! I've got $100 to spend and hope that I have enough to get what I want. Can't touch the price of fresh meat in the grocery store right now. need to watch every penny with the heating season starting.
Laundry to switch and a Mom to get up! Later!!!

Good Morning Crew,

I just wrote for an hour and called out everybody's name and wrote to them and poof it went away.
I didn't have it backed up and so I am sorry. Don't have the soup to do it again but will do it later.

Cattails! you got Boat Time!

Hope everybody feels better that is suffering and has it easier when it is tough.

Kelleybean! good to see from you and I hope that Cricket and Christina are having a great time.

love you guys way more than you'll ever know.

lovbob

Stormy, I'm too tired to do any research on hypothyroid. I like to be informed of things - especially with menopause - health goes downhill fast. Who knew how essential those ovaries are!! It affects your thyroid, and a whole bunch of stuff. I have that in my stored files. I think if you still get a recurrent of the negative effects, then best to see a doctor...esp. the ENT like Austin mentioned.

I don't know what happened yesterday. I didn't drink coffee or any caffeine yesterday afternoon. But I was wide awake. I was still awake at 1:45am. Now it's 9pm, and I'm getting dizzy - so tired want to sleep.

Hey, I found out by accident (cuz I'm always late for work) that I can do a Speedy-Gonzales on changing both parents' pampers in 30 minutes total! Before, it took me 1 hour. Ha! Practice makes perfect. Except, pulling up mom is going to reactivate my leg pain. I showered after work. When done, I made the water has hot as possible and stuck that leg in. Felt sooooo good! That's the hot water. Tonight before bed - the cold wash. Okay, gotta go - for sure now.

Oh, one more - Cat, I read your recipe for that pumpkin soup. Sigh...I think that is so much work and takes too long to cook. My niece once watched me "cook." I made the heat high, swished all the ingredients in, then turned it off. Her mouth fell open and she stared at me. I stared back at her and said, "I Hate Cooking! It's cooked. Well, not wellcooked. It's warm. That's good enough for us!" Niece can cook like you - with patience. For me - anything over 15min is just too long. I did try to imagine it in my head. Simple enough but ...sooooo long!!!! {laughing} Just teasing you, Cat! Later!!

Stormy do call the doc and tell him how you are feeling or go to the ENT doc-you will feel better once you know what is going on.

Meanwhile – I laughed at the ending of your “Positive thought for the day.”! Wasn’t expecting that one.

Leg And foot still hurting. Throbbing burning pain on leg and under the foot where my arch should be (flatfoot). Anyway, I made an appt with the doc for next week Tuesday. He’s full on Saturday and I’m babysitting parents on Monday. (I decided to give my oldest sis a 3-day weekend. She asked me what Holiday was on Monday.) It doesn’t help that I have this habit of sitting on the chair, and wrapping both legs around the chair’s legs. For the first couple of day I was reminded NOT to do this because the pain was sharp. But, when I get too involved with the computer, I can ignore pain. So…

Anyway, I can’t stay long tonight. I had a walk-in referral customer who wants to go to Japan to visit her bf on Thanksgiving holiday. All the flights with decent fares are sold out. So, we chose a next closer city. Except, I can’t find any hotel within that city and another city near that city! So I Googled events in November – several festivals, thanksgiving and a Europe music festival that ends 26Nov. So, I need to do my homework tonight and check other cities near his place AND for the hotel. Since I promised to email her the info tomorrow.

So, I hope you all remember to take a deep breath, hold and slowly release. I, too, would be grossed out about the dentures. If anything, it would be taking it out and all that saliva is dangling. Ugh! Later!

Deef: What is the deal with your mom laughing when she passes gas and you all gag. Bwhahahahahah. I guess she still has a sense of humor!! As for everything else, I don't know how you manage. Seriously, Deef, I don't know how you do it. I'm so glad your DH is getting out of the house for his card game. Lord, Girl, you need some down time.

Stormy: Deef is right. Call you doc and tell him about the problems you are experiencing.

Love you all, Cat

Love it meanwhile!!!
Okay, this is what I wrote a few hours ago, but it didn't post!
Bobbie, great post as always!
Mame, enjoy your wedding! Book, Mom hasn't been able to smell for years. When she passes gas, she laughs at us for gagging, because she can't smell it! No sense of smell should be required for all acre givers!
Diane, we thought of the pill shooter a year ago, now if we could only get Mom to open her mouth! Yes, her hands were always in her food! That's why we now feed her. She would make little piles of food all over the table as if she were serving guests and then she would rub it all over the table! She has a nice big bib, but plays with it constantly, so we still get food on her clothes. And now she has her hands in her mouth all the time. I'm forever getting accosted by wet slimy hands!!! She was having one of her weird spells after daycare, feet flying, big gobs of drool hanging from her mouth, and that dead stare in her eyes. So I brought her in to put her down for a nap.
As I pulled her pants down to get her on the toilet, shit started falling out onto my hand!!! What does she do?, pulls the pants back up and squishes it everywhere. I had to tear the pull ups off of her because she had a death grip on them!
After her nap, it took me 45 minutes to feed her a bowl of pasta and meatballs. Lost count of how many times I said "open your mouth" and "take a bite". Half the time she would look at me and say "who, me?" So frustrating, especially after 2 years of this kind of behavior! I'm so exhausted by the end of the day. It must be so hard for you to get through this and work too! I don't know how you manage!
Stormy, sounds like you should call your doctor and let them know what you are feeling. Could be a side affect of the synthroid. At least you found a way to get your coffee in!
Cat, I made potato leek soup the first time it got cold. Love soups of any kind!
Well, requip is kicking in. Need to get to bed. Forgot my heart meds today, so I hope I can sleep tonight!

Positive thought for the day: When you feel no one cares or loves you, everyone is ignoring you, and people are jealous of you, ask yourself AM I TOO SEXY

Mame: Have a great time and enjoy your two days away from the care giving life.

Deef & Diane: Can't imagine how it must be to care for someone with Parkinson's and Dementia. I didn't have it the way you two do.

Bobbie: Good to hear from you and thanks for sharing more about your life. My heart goes out to all you had to accept and manage.

Meanwhile: I agree Diane's comment about the pill shooter made me laugh. I have one of those too.

Book: Hang in there. Working and caring for two bedridden parents; it's just too much.

Stormy: Hope you are feeling better. One step at a time.

Tonight I got a call from my dad's doctor. He just called to see how I was doing. Now how darn nice is that. He's such a good guy. He and his wife put on an Alz. walk this year. I couldn't participate, but I will call his wife and get on board to help next year.

I made a great pumpkin soup tonight. It was just fresh roasted pumpkin, apple, carrots, onion and sage. Plus you add chicken or veg. broth. It called for 2 cups of cream, but it was so good I left the cream out.

Sending you all love and hoping tomorrow is a good day. Love, Cat

Bobbie- Love your comments about caregivers looking after themselves and their health. You hit the nail on the head with that one.
Deef- I would be out of patience too if i had to do all that to get my dad ready. I am so sorry she is being like this, i know that it is beyond difficult for you. Sending you many hugs for a better tomorrow.
Diane- I know what you mean about the dentures, Gross with a capital G!!! I won't touch those suckers without my trusty gloves on. I about gag everytime i have to clean them for him. I hate doing that as much as i hate cleaning his neck/trach area.
Meanwhile- Good luck with the ct scan reports. Take care.
Book- i hope you got some rest last night. Hugs
Mame- So happy that you are going to be able to get away for 2 days. I am sure you are very excited about that and i hope you have a wonderful time at the wedding.
Cat- thanks. I think the dr is going to be seeing alot of me. Just cause i want to stay on top of this thing. Hugs to you.

Well i woke this morning a whole hour earlier and it was purely by mistake. I woke up at 4:30, i glanced at the clock thinking it said 5:30 (my normal time for getting up) So i go ahead and take my synthoid medicine and crawl back into the bed for another hour. I figured this way i can drink my coffee when i get up again. And i think that worked better cause i had more energy today. I think there is something about the caffine and the meds that make the meds not as effective if taken close together. Anyway the day wears on and i start having this pressure/heaviness and some short of breath at dads. I have had this some this week but it lasted longer today. And at times it was feeling like someone had their hands around my neck and was strangling me. That's a scary feeling. I got home after picking connor up from school and i was still having the heaviness at my throat. So i eat supper and i notice that after i ate, it got better then later on tonight it came back on me and then left again. I just wish i knew what it was. Also i found out that my thyroid scan or ultrasound is next wednesday. I was thinking it was in dec. My brain isn't right. I just pray that everything will look alright on that scan. And sis wants me to go see dads ear, nose and throat dr tomorrow. So i might be getting in to see him just to tell him of this strangling feeling i am having and hopefully he will know what it is. Love and hugs to all stormy

Trying to post and getting no where again!

Hi ALL!
Took me all day to catch up on you all! It has been a very busy week! Getting ready for the wedding this weekend!! Had to buy a girdle to hold me in that beautiful dress! I am very excited to get away for 2 nights!!!! Got all mom's meds in or ordered, everything stocked up so my brothers won't need to look for anything while they are here. Have the dinners planned...I hope they don't die of bordom! She will only let one of the brothers help her wipe after pooping-so hopefully she will do it while he is here HAHA!! I am not going to worry, but I hope I have a few good laughs when I hear the stories when I get back! We were only going to go for one night, but I decided I didn't need to get her going in the morning and then get myself ready for the wedding and be exhausted-I am being selfish and not feeling guilty about it!
There were so many things I read that I want to post about but I am just so tired tonight! Maybe in the morning! My dental hygenist was telling me how her brother is caregiver to someone-so I told her to tell him about this site! Hope he will join us! Good to see so many posting-new and oldies! Have a good night! Mame

Diane, you cracked me up with the pill shooter. My Mom just gave me a big bottle of glucosamine/chondrondrin, stuff, because the pills are too big, and she can't swallow them. Guess I'm going to feed them to my old horses. Won't know the results of the CT scan for a few days.

Deef, Diane - I have it easier - they're bedridden. No struggles to get them up, go to the restroom, dress up, etc...Father's bedridden state is still good in that he can still Move. Once he becomes immobile - I'm in deep creek - to do it all by myself. He weighs much more than me. You guys have waaaay so much more patience than me!

I have really bad sinus for years. Can't smell much of anything. I have a customer who had the same problem. She lives in another island (believe it or not - is much worse than where I am!). Bobbie - she lives closer to Bikini Island. Anyway, she flew to the states to have surgery on her sinus. She wrote to me that she "can smell!". How she enjoys the aroma of her food, and the perfume she wears...BUT oh, my! she also smells the odor at the island she's living in (hubby works there.) I had to laugh..but I envied her too!....Oh....I detoured to what I wanted to say. Anyway, because I can't smell things, I sure do sneeze a lot when I change the parents' pampers. So, I think one can also be "allergic" to changing pampers!

Deef, I sooooo understand your morning. Mom's big obsession with her pants usually is when she is dozing or really out in space. The pulls, tugs, whines they are too tight and on and on. I too am having to take her dentures out and put them in. I don't know what it is about the dentures but they really gross me out. I'm a wimp and put on a glove to handle them. Last night mom took over an hour to eat half her dinner. I never knew anyone could chew noodles that freakin long! Her other obsession is picking food off her bib and making a mess with it. Does your mom put her hands in her food? Mom just rests her hands in the middle of her plate of food. I know these all sound like insignificant quirks, but they sure add up to drive me crazy. If I wasn't afraid of choking mom I swear Id give her the pills with one of those pill shooters you use for pets. God, sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a Carol Burnett skit when I think about my life as a caregiver.
I read something a few days ago and I wasn't sure if I was relieved to read it or felt like saying no shit sherlock! Researchers say depression may be an "allergy" to stress. That some people are genetically predisposed to having their body react to stress like an allegen. Just a tidbit to think about.
I admire you guys that can address each person on the thread. I admit my brain just isn't capable of retaining that much right now. I did start to wonder about Angelhair. She hasn't been on the thread for ages. Anyone hear from her?
Well my brother is supposed to come stay with mom so I can take a Zantangle class this afternoon. It will be nice to get together with creative people.
I gotta run, but know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers as you go through your daily caregiving chanllenges.

Love ya,
Diane

Stormy, who am I to lecture about patience! I lost mine this morning while trying to get Mom out the door to daycare. First she didn't want to get out of bed. That became a chore, as I tore up my shoulder trying to wrestle her around on Monday. Then she wouldn't sit still on the toilet so I could wash her up. She never does, but today she was more active than usual. Then the dentures!!! Worst part of my day, every day. She refuses to open her mouth so I can put them in. Then the pants! Does anyone else have this problem? When I get her pull ups on and her pants, she starts pulling on them, even though she is sitting on the toilet. It's like she is obsessed with those f'ing pants!! Pull on them, pat them, roll them down, try to take them off, and all rapid fire like she is on high speed in a film. When it's actually time to do something quickly, she goes slow motion. Diane, you know this as a PD behavior. Takes forever to do even the smallest thing.
Now I get her into the wheelchair and start to feed her oatmeal. She won't open her mouth!!! At this point there is oatmeal everywhere and it's almost time to leave. After much pleading and begging, she eats half the oatmeal. Then it's the struggle to get her sweater and coat on. It was 30 degrees here this morning. Finally we get out the back door and into the car.
I'm exhausted! Book, I don't know how you do all that you do. You have my admiration and are an inspiration to all care givers!
It's cold outside, but I'm grabbing a coffee and heading out to the front porch for a bit of sun and peace and quiet!

Good Morning Crew!

It's great to see everybody posting.
Kuli! I understand your heartbreak and even though I say that I would have placed my mom, I loved her and my dad with all of my heart and miss them both so much.
I also miss what should have been instead of what was.
But for an anti depressant for my poor mom when I was a little kid, things would have been much nicer and my childhood probably wouldn't have been the nightmare it was. But it was what it was and it is what it is.

As far as caretakers taking care of themselves I used to write about this:
Take care of yourself because you are supposed to live through this insanity and have your own life on the other side of it. That's why. Not so you can continue to flush the last sparks of the life you are living now down the toilet but so you understand on every level that you are supposed to live beyond the needs of those you care for and find a life that works for you.

I talk about making plans now to protect yourself later. If that means getting in home help or placing a parent, then do it. You are what matters most in your own life. Everybody else will pick the meat from your bones if you don't protect yourself.
If you think they won't, just look at your present situation with an unemotional eye and consider what you see.

I think it was Cat that said, 'Bobbie has her boat...'
I looked at boats and thought about boats and talked about boats while caregiving mom. I knew that if I didn't become very proactive about something, I would just dwindle to a pile of quivering jelly when it was all said and done.
And, even though I am here on a boat, I almost succumbed to the jelly.
Recovering from bone breaking caregiving is tough. Believe me.

Book: my parents were a hot mess and there's some not very nice stuff in the background. I resented being pushed away and ignored for years and years and then all of a sudden when mom realized that all the other people she thought were going to help her just took from her and left her in a bind, I was now the good guy, as long as I did exactly what mom wanted.

Now I understand what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is but I didn't for my entire life until about 2 years into the caregiving process.
I also didn't understand what dementia was and made stupid choices trying to do what my mom wanted. I did what she wanted at the cost of my health and future.

Caregiver statistics are grim. We are mostly women and many, like me, give up working to care for a parent and therefore cheat ourselves out of our prime earning years which translates into no retirement or insurance and minimum social security.

That's just the business end of it and doesn't even begin to address the mental and physical aspects of putting ourselves last in every decision.

I hope everyone has as good a day as they can and I am so happy to see new people come on board and those that are here reach out and make them comfortable.

Welcome to the home of Vent and Live!

Love you guys way more than you'll ever know.
lovbob

Hi Everyone! Sorry, no individual names. Time to do the parents, trache, etc...Hopefully I will have enough brain thoughts to do the bills.

Stormy - research, research, research! When I had my endo and complex ovarian cysts - doc wanted depo lupron shot. I researched everything on endo, cysts, depo shots - both on medical websites like mayo clinic and webmd, and on regular peoples comments. Read everything - pros, cons, herbal therapy, natural therapy, foods-drugs-herbals that promote or prevents, etc... Everything I found useful, I Copied and Pasted to my Office Word File on my Desktop titled: Endometriosis. and "Food -Endo" and "Hysterectomy" . I copied and pasted Also the Website on top (http:...) for quick find when I needed to backtrack for more detail reading.

As for myself, I was late for work - as usual. Didn't have time to wrap my leg (between the ankle and knee) but did grab the flexible bandage. Sure enough, after walking up the stairs, leg started hurting. So, I put it on. But pain is not as bad as yesterday... as long as I don't walk a lot.

Sorry, have to go now. I usually log back in after doing the parents but...I've been putting off the budgeting of the bills. Night all!!!

Stormy: Hang in there and, as hard as it is, be patient. At least now you know what the problem is and you have medication to treat it. Give it time to work, but don't be afraid to tell you doc what your concerns are.

Kritina: I'm missing you. Come back and tell us more about your life and what is going on. You are in Anchorage, AK. Different climate from most of us. I hope you come back and tell us more about your mom and your daily life.

Rena: I have told so much about me on this thread. Feel free to share here. It's how we get the opportunity to truly support each other.

K-9: We can use some dogs here. Lot's of cat owners. Haha. I love them all, but just sending you an invitation to join us and share your heart. You have an understanding group here.

Hope I didn't miss anyone......Oh, yeah, Cricket, hope you are having an amazing time. And Judy, hope you will be back with us soon.

Love, Cat

Kuli: I hope that the heartache of your dad's passing lessens for you in time. The one thing that brings me peace is knowing that my dad is free of all the infirmities that kept his spirit so restricted. He is free now and I absolutely believe that he is the essence of all he was meant to be when God created him. He is with my mom and other family members and I'm sure there is even more that he is connected to now in a world filled with things we can't imagine.

Deef: I'll look up the website. You asked me once what I had done previously and I'll explain another time. Right now I just want to thank you for your posts and the encouragement you give to so many.

Diane: Your picture never fails to crack me up. Every flipping time I see it, it just rings a bell with me. It should be our poster for a caregiver. You are more than many of us put together. Please know that your life will get better.

Lildeb: You are like a pure ray of sunshine coming in the kitchen window. My kitchen window faces east, so I know what that looks like. It's bright and beautiful. I hope you find the right prescription drug plan. Depending on the cost of your drugs, there is a lot to consider. The main thing is to register for Medicare. You don't have to use it if the other private insurance gives you more cost effective coverage, but you do have to register to avoid future penalties. What a bunch of carp we have to wade through.

Meanwhile: I am thinking of you and your step-dad. I think I said FIL previously, so I apologize. I can imagine how you are wanting to be spared another cancer diagnosis. I am just now realizing how much I want to be spared another illness. I look at my husband and say, "Oh, God, just don't let anything happen to him." It's not that I think he has a big problem, it's just that I don't want to see another long illness, and I wouldn't now that the parents are gone. It would only be if it was him or me. I just want time away from dying and more time for living. I know Bobbie understands that and I know you do too. Praying and praying for you.

I'll say more later. Love you all, Cat

Hey everyone, I hope all of ya'll are doing ok tonight. I am still here and still trying to figure out things about this hypothyroidism. Things i should eat and shouldn't eat. Meds i should take and not take with the synthroid. Been reading that i shouldn't drink coffee for 30 mins to an hour after taking the medicine in the morning. Still trying to figure out how to do that. Cause i fix my coffee first thing in the morning. Also dr told me to eat more fiber to help with the constipation, but yet i read on the net that eating fiber will decrease the absorption of the medicine. So i am like i don't know what to eat and not eat. And i know part of the reason why i am not feeling good is because of not going to the bathroom regularly. Yes, i can thank the good ole' thyroid gland for that too. Tonight i was feeling kinda short of breath and like my neck was swelling or things in there closing up. It was kinda scary but it did get better thank the lord. Seems like everyday i have new symptoms. Just still trying to learn more about this disease and still trying to wrap my head around it all.
Talked to sis today and she told me she has made dad a appt to see the dr cause she thinks dad has aspirated some food in the past couple of days and wants the dr to put him on some antibiotics and i think he wants to make sure dad doesn't have a lung infection, pneumonia or any of that stuff. So he goes to see him thursday. Then next wednesday he has a appt to get his throat stretched so he will be able to swallow foods more easily. He has to get this done every 6 to 8 weeks.
Deef- I know i've got to be patience about all of this, i know it's going to take time, probably alot longer than i realize. I just really enjoyed having a good day and feeling good for a change. I guess i've just got to be patience with it all. But patience is not one of my strong suits. Gotta take the bad with the good, huh? Hugs
Meanwhile- hoping all goes well with your stepdads ct scan.
Kuli- prayers that things will somehow get easier for you. I'm sure it has been hard for you.
K9- Welcome aboard!!!
Book- Hey, how's the ankle and knee doing today? hugs
Cat- How are you today? Hoping that you had a good day. Hugs
Lildeb- Hope all is well with you.
Rena- hope that you will feel comfortable with letting us know more about your caregiving life. Tell us more about it.
Diane- I had to smile when i read your post about the defiant 2 year old in a 85 year old body. I know it is nothing to smile about. So i am sending you prayers for some patience and peace and hopefully a goodnights sleep. Hugs.
I hope all of you have a good hump day tomorrow. Much love and hugs stormy

Thank you Kuli!!!!

Can't help but think of what was going on last year at this time. One year ago tonite, I was driving dad around because he was insisting that we needed to go home. He could not be convinced we were home - at least the home I thought he was talking about. And even though he seemed confused, he still said to me it seemed as if we were just driving around in a big circle, which of course we were. Who knew the home he was talking about was heaven??? Can't believe it's almost a year that he's been gone. I miss him so much - it still hurts. I know how hard it is to keep your patience but truly, cherish the moments you have with those you love. You may not realize in the thick of things how much you will miss those moments, those smiles, those conversations, those hugs. Peace and prayers for a restful night for caregivers everywhere ~ Kuli