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Well, I don't know what happened to my comment above.....the part to Linda. What I was saying Linda is that I have one bro visiting who has left this morning and another brother coming in today. My sis will be a no show. I know when sibs leave it will be back to the dying and I will be the only one here to deal with it. Makes me sad to do that alone.
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Kuli: Your post really touched my heart. You are so right, we are in survival mode for so long and it takes a big toll. Hard to put the pieces back together. I'm glad to hear that you are making some progress. Why does that have to be such hard work too? Don't know, it just is.

Linda, thanks for your comment. I have one brother here v


Deef: Thank God for the health insurance you found. I am so happy for you. What a burden that has lifted from your tired shoulders. Your suggestions to Diane gave me some hope that MAYBE there is something to help her through this ordeal.

Diane: I hope Deef's comments prove fruitful to you. You get 5 stars for getting into a support group. You'll be face to face with a small group of people who get it and I've no doubt they will love you as much as we all do. I know it's hard, but just trust that God is with you. He/she is and has your hand. So do we. Just keep taking those steps forward for yourself. As they said at the Democratic Convention, don't go back, go forward. That's our motto, girlfriend, and we'll do it together.

Love you all, Cat
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cattails - u once said that u had to call the siblings to come n see dad , then dad perked up , mine did the same thing , it was exciting to see the kids .
it the rush . kinda flip ya out for a while then its back to dying again ,
they have thier moments , bless thier soul .. xoxo
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kuli - well said .. my body is torn up , cant work`` well i can if i wanna cry , i have my good days and bad days ,
10 yrs of working in a factory , keeping up with the damn robots . way too fast , fast pace my ass . dad got me outta there bless his herat ,, i sure miss him and i would do it over again if we are allowed to change the clock back ,
takin care of my dad was well worth it , i cheerish every moments .
i took care of him out of love and i didnt care if it made my body got hurt or when im in bad sufferin . there was pain meds for it , i just keep a going ,
zoom zoom :-) ...
i can only do so much then i hurt all over . i keep a going , like what flex said , pick her up and in her recliner and up again and tuck em in bed ohh wait a min , dont forget bathroom lalala .. it sure was a hellva job . i ADMIRE for who s doing the caregiving . 24-7 ...
THOSE WERE THE DAYS ,,,,, yep damned if you do damed if you dont .
hang in there u guys , blink of an eye they ll be gone . its coming slowly then BAM moms gone dad s gone . waaaaaaaaaaaaaa
love you all xoxo
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Austin, don't you just want to shake them. They want to run to the Doctor, for everything, but won't follow the Doctors advise. Of course, my husband refused to go at all, at least until it was too late.
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Diane - it's a good thing you're doing something for yourself now. I didn't and have paid the price. I have been seeing a psychiatrist and therapist since April and am only beginning to see some light at the end of the tunnel. You can never get help too soon. I thought GO was all I needed. Please don't get me wrong, it was my lifeline for sooo many months, but I found it wasn't enough when the caregiving was all said and done. Actually tried hypnosis yesterday. On some levels, I think it helped but am so skeptical that I'm not sure if it was the hypnosis or simply me wanting so much to believe it helped. I guess only time will tell. As Bobbie says, PTSD at its' worse. Not only are we suffering from PTSD but we are so emotionally and physically exhausted that we are truly in survival mode for far too long. Love to all of you still caregiving for others, I wish you sleep, peace, at least a few happy moments and that you forever recognize that you are doing something not everyone can. Love you all, Kuli
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Diane, does your state have insurance plans for those who can't afford it on their own? My husband and I just applies for insurance through the state of Mass. Because they made it a law that everyone has to have health insurance in this state, they have to offer affordable plans for those who need it. Just so happens that after they saw our 2011 tax returns and the fact that my husband is considered long-term unemployed, we are eligible for the state plan at a $0 cost for monthly premiums. We will have very reasonable co-pays for doctor visits and scripts and can keep our doctors and hospital!!! Finally!!! Some good news!! Call your local hospital financial counselor and tell her your story and see if they can help you. With so many people in dire need right now, new programs are always popping up to help. We should be good to go with premium free health insurance by October 1st. This is such a relief with the cold season looming upon us.
Even though my mom can no longer voice if she wants to walk or not, she does enjoy getting out of her wheelchair occasionally. She is just too far gone for it to be safe even with help. She gets distracted by every little thing and grabs at anything and everything as we walk her along. It has come to the point that we stand behing her and wrap her arms around her sides to keep her from reaching and pulling us down with her. Her left side is weaker due to the PD and she always leans over a bit to the left, especially later in the day. She was all hands last night and it was all I could do to wash and diaper her and get her into bed. And she only weighs around 105, so I can only imagine how hard it is for you. I know it's going to be tough on you working less, by see if you can collect the difference through unemployment. Also, how about daycare in your area? I may have to put mom in another day when her LTC runs out. Have you checked to see if your Mom's will reimburse for home care? They will not reimburse for a family member, but will for a home health aid. Mom's plan has been paying for Merry for the past 3 years. I know we had to prove 100 dates of service to activate the policy, but that includes hospital stays, rehab, and every day you can prove you paid someone to sit with her. It could mean a big difference for you if her LTC started to pay for help instead of coming out of your pocket.
Great joke Judy!
Meanwhile, you are patient! I would have taken Mom to the ER for a catheter. So much faster and more reliable.There is no way I could get Mom to pee in a cup anymore. You might try to get a toilet "hat" for at home. You just put it under the seat and when she goes you have the specimen without the hassle. They are very cheap at the pharmacy and come in very handy.
Time to turn in. The tomato ferry left me a big bag of roma tomatoes, so it looks like another batch of salsa tomorrow!
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Diane good for you joining a caregiver support group. I met a lady at the one I went years ago -and we became close friends. Now I attend another one at our Senior Center as a former caregiver and it is very good-you will learn what is available locally to help with caregiving and just talking to others going through the journey is really good-let us know how it goes.
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Hi Crew,
Just stopping in to say hello. I've been reading everyone's post and just pondering some decisions on my own. I officially changed to a part-time employee today. I just can't continue to do it all without support from the family. I'm going to lose my healthcare benefits since I can't afford COBRA. It's a scary thought. Now I just need to decide how I will work my 20 hours a week, 4 hours x 5 days or 7 hours x 3 days. My bosses have been very kind to try work things out for me.
I took mom for a walk in her wheelchair after dinner and she seemed to enjoy it. My cat Tuxedo walked the whole distance following behind us. When we came home I had to help mom get to her recliner because she is having a lot of difficulty with her legs not responding. Because I held her firmly andgot her to her seat she got pissed off with me. Instead she wants me to hold her up for 20 minutes and hope that her legs may or may not respond and actually move. Once again damned if you do and damned if you dont. I know my back can't handle holding her up for 20 minutes.
I'm going to check-out a caregiver support group near to my home tomorrow. I understand the group is small, but the leader is very good. I'll give it a try and see if I fit with the group. They only meet once a month and I think I can convince my brother to sit with mom for 90 minutes.
I hope you all have a good night and I'll check-in soon again.

Love ya,
Diane
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I wanted to tell you that Bookworm had communicated with Ladee that she is taking a break as she is feeling overwhelmed. I didn't realize that she actually had posted that to Ladee. Cat
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Right now we can only ask God to give Book extra strength and our love and prayers that she will be ok and will return to us soon.
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Hang in there. You are the chosen ones to care for your loved one. If you didn't love them you wouldn't be there for them. I take life one day at a time. When I lost my dad.....I lost part of my life, when I do lose my mom....it will take most of me since I have cared for both. Then and only then will I decide to move forward and try to make a life for me. For now...its for my mom...no regrets.
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FYI, I'm worried about Bookworm. She hasn't posted in 37 hours and her wall is turned off right now, so can't send her a message. I'm praying she's ok. More prayers are always helpful. Cat
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Meanwhile you are so patient with your mother -after two times I would have said unladylike things . My husband was addicted to doctures and surgery also -around here many docs are surgery happy so he always found one to do one more back surgery -he expected to be like a 20 yr. old again -after a surgeon got to know him they would not take him on again because he would mess up the surgery somehow like after shoulder surgery he carried big logs out of the wood -the doc had told him to be very careful but did not tell him not to carry huge logs -one under each arm-so he did and on and on.
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Cricket, so glad you got to relax on the boat. You deserve it.
Cat, so sorry about your Dad, the waiting, and not knowing what will happen next, is so hard.
Bookworm, Diane, you guys alright? Everyone else too.
Spent all afternoon at the Doctors office. Took her 2 hours to pee in the cup. The ;nurse tried to get her to drink water, but she doesn't like city water, it has chlorine in it. I had to go get her some bottled water, and then she thought that tasted funny. So I went back to the store and got her sugar free all natural cranberry drink, but that was too sour. 3rd trip to the store, a strawberry Zero. Miracles, she liked the zero. Drank it and peed in the #%^& cup. Oh, well, it was better that sitting at the Doctors office. Of course she has a UTI. Will have to get her some more of the strawberry Zeros. If she doesn't start drinking something, she will have to go to the hospital and get an IV, and probably a catheter.
Sorry about the venting, I have it pretty easy most of the time. I'm afraid this is just shades of what is to come though.
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Thanks, for the joke Judy. Can always use something to laugh about.
Mom is better this morning, Doctor appointment after lunch. I'm going to order some of those wellness briefs, just to have on hand. Most of the time Mom and Step Dad are very independent. But, Mom gets these UTI's ever since she had her bladder reattached. She is a surgery addict. I had to have a talk with her Doctor, and tell him she just wants the attention. It is so hard to tell when she is really sick, or just wanting attention. She is such a hyperchondriac, and a drama Queen.
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Just saw this and had to post it. Haven't read up on any comments since last night so I hope no one's having a crisis and I'm posting jokes like an insensitive idiot.
-----------------------------
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
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Cat, Your Father probably perked up as a result of seeing everyone. Lets hope the affects continue to last. I'm glad he is feeling better. The good thing about you getting everyone out to see him is that at least they get to see him while he is able to enjoy them and them him. You did them all a favor even if they don't know it yet. Following your instincts is always best. xoxo
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Cat, I just love reading your animal stories. You could definitely write a children's book with all your stories if you wanted to. xoxo
Litdeb, I went to facebook to send you a friend request and their are 30+ Debbie Starks there. LOL Send me a friend invite..my page name is Sherry Emery. I am 54 silver hair and wearing a black and white striped shirt, the picture is a face picture but you can see part of my shirt if you are looking. I will watch for your invite. xoxo
Shirley, keep that toothbrush close to you at all times!! xoxo
Deef, thanks again for sharing your knowledge with us! When Dad has to start wearing a diaper it will be those wellness briefs for sure! xoxo
Bobbie, that poor woman. How does one ever get over the trauma that ones father causes like that? I believe we can never go back when something like that happens, the one way through it is to go forward. So devastating! How is your eye doing? I hope it's healed up. I miss you. xoxo
We managed to get out of here yesterday for a few hours and get out on the water. It felt so good. I just sat on the boat and soaked it all up. Didn't do a darn thing for 3 hours! I needed that. I had a neighbor and friend checking in on Dad for me. This friend is also a paramedic. First time I ever asked someone for help with dad other than my husband. It felt weird but I guess it's going to be something I will have to do more of in time so it's good to start now.
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
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Update on my dad. He has improved. He is eating more as long as I am there to feed him. His Lasix has been discontinued temporarily and that has helped with the dehydration. On of my bothers is here to visit. He is going to the facility and feeding my dad, so I am getting a much needed reprieve from that daily requirement. He does have pneumonia in both lungs, but he is improved regardless of that fact. Hey, I don't know what's going to happen this week or next, but eventually it's going to happen. I hate to tell sibs, "Be here asap if you want to see dad before he passes." And then they come and he is improved. They look at me like, what's the problem. Eh?

I don't know and I am tired. We had a good two days being sweat balls in our yard and getting more of the 8 year plan accomplished. With the help of our tractor, we moved a bunch of rock from their resting place to where they need to be on a long slope/rock garden area. It just has to get done and the best thing is that most of it is done. We just need to put in the finishing touches. I know there are more years of work here than we have left in our lives, but it feels so good to make our home our own. Another 20 yards of mulch and we will be in good stead come spring.

Love to have some time to look after us. Love all of you to pits. Cat
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Lildeb: Try to picture a little skeleton of a bird with some down, mainly fuzz. What you notice is the eyes, the feet and the beak. He was so young, he couldn't stand up. As they say, "he had a face only a mother could love" but I loved him. One day, when he was more feathered, I took him outside on the grass to just enjoy the outdoors. We had a bunny at the time, bunny with an attitude, and he ran wild in our yard. Baby was sitting by my side when bunny hopped over to investigate. Bunny was quite bold and sniffed baby and got in his face. Baby tweaked Bunny's nose with his beak. Bunny was not the least bit hurt, but he was pissed. Bunny did the cutest, evil thing. He raised his bunny lips and displayed his teeth. I shooed Bunny away. Poor baby reached over to my hand and held on to my fingernail with his beak. It was the closest thing to a hug and wish for protection that he could display to me. I pulled him close and snuggled him up to me. I whispered where I thought his ears might be, "Don't worry, when you grow up you can hunt him."

Bunny lived to a ripe old age. He shared the yard with our dog and played with our cats. Baby was the only one who ever tweaked his nose and bunny had a memory like an elephant. Whenever we took Baby in the yard, bunny was on the spot with his teeth bared. Crazy rabbit.
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Oh Meanwhile!!! Been there, done that so many times! A UTI can make them so crazy! We always know with Mom because she leans to the left in her chair and when we try to walk her to the toilet. Her urine is very dark and smells horrible. She talks out of her head and can't take commands as simple as sit. Might be best to take her to the ER. They can get a urine with a catheter and it will be clean. They will also give her IV antibiotics and fluids if she needs them. Just the IV antibiotics should have her acting more normal by the next morning. Mom used to fall all the time when she had a UTI, before I got her the wheelchair.
Just ordered Mom a case of Wellness Briefs again. I can't stress enough how much they have saved me in time and laundry! Also, I always wash Mom's smelly clothes in hot water with Arm and Hammer soap powder with baking soda. I never have a problem with her things being smelly.
Diane, poor you! Is it c-diff again? Have her meds been changed? Mo is usually the oposite because of all her meds, and the PD makes it hard for her to know when she has to go. When she finally does, it just falls out because of the sheer size and weight of the poo. The toilet gets plugged up all the time. The plunger is always handy!!!
That's my gross tidbit for the night!!! Off to apply for state funded health insurance tomorrow! Sure hope we qualify!
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Judym, I don't know how people can be so cruel shooting animals with bb's! I can just picture you going by n picking up that bunny after he sitting their about 20mint. Yes, I do remember that show. You are an amazing person n especially for animals. Hey, someone got to do it so i guess that mean us.

Cattail, an owl without hair omg! I would love to see a picture of that. Is he like one of those hairless cats? They freak me out the way they look. That was funny when you mention u turned out the lights n he follow yall upstairs. That was cute about the toe deal under the cover. I could not believe what I read that their were 80 barn owls, omg! No, we don't think your place is dirty for I have 3 dogs n 3 cats. The dogs comes n goes outside but my two cats stay inside unless they r on a harness outside while I babysit them outside.

Cricket, i hear you for all those people would had lost was a little of their time. My mom rescued a pigeon n called him petie, n he flew through house all over the place n he had his own little roosting spot, the cabinet drawer. I do believe that us all caregivers have to have the biggest heart for the stuff we do for other people. I would love to see some pictures where do I look on fb? Mine is Debbie Starks. I did get some of Rugrats pictures on fb.

Meanwhile, I bet the neighbor was not too happy to know yall had a little critter theif for shiny objects like car keys. cute.
Bobbie, I hear ya for I had two hot-dogs n some tums. Don't you just love the second after taste. yuck! But it was good at the time. ; ) However, that story is just sick for her dad to do such a thing to his daughter, sick, sick, evil! Sad for the daughter n I hope she recovers physicallly n emotionally.

Spoke with my daddy last night for about 20minuets n he was stuffing his face around 8:30pm n that was good to hear. he sound very happy. he does have short term memory loss. Yet, he said he tried to talk to r stepma about gettting out of bed n she went off on him. So, I think her older bro's r coming down from New York to see if they can get her motivated. She is eating a little but refuses to get out of the bed n even to the bathroom according to what my dad said. I also have one of my brothers had checked on both as well. The bill for the rehab for my dad those 3wks r little over 40G's. Hopefully, Medicare will pay some n maybe his Medicaid will kick in. As for SM, her's is already over 60g's n counting for she don't try to help herself. Ah!!! She only 63. What gives with her? I know she has a little dementia but we haven't heard anything else medically. It so hard to help someone that won't help themselves. Anyway, we had a okay weekend for holiday, nothing special just relaxing a little. A little is better than none in my book. ; ) I hope eveyone else had a little relaxing weekend too.

All of our animals r either from pound or found from where someone had dropped them off. My little big girl Vera the very spoiled n talkie cat was rescued from the river along with 2 other kittens. I had my husband drive all the way back home to get a cage n took r left over chicken n donuts from that morning n we caught each one of them. We kept Vera for she was limping real bad n looked pretty rough so we took her to the vet. She is now just fine n did I say she was very, very spoiled. She's my girl.
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Meanwhile -I sure hope you and your mother have a restfull night-you are in our thoughts take care.
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Just got back from next door.. Mom fell, and wouldn't let Dad help her up. She peed all over herself, the chair, the floor. Had to get the wheelchair, and get her into bed, Clean her up, plus everything else. She doesn't want to go to the hospital, so I'm going to spend the night at their house. Better go, have to pack my toothbrush.
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Meanwhile you are not a terrible daughter-the doc will tell her what you are telling her but if she thinks like my Mom she has hero worship for the doc especially if he is about 100 yrs old and if he isn't she may not respect him.
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I read the story on CNN this morning, about the man that poured acid on his daughter. Very scary.
Mother has another UTI, and she isn't even in diapers. I don't even want to know about her bathroom habits. I'm such a terrible daughter, but then she was a terrible mother. I offered to get her some cranberry juice, but she doesn't want it, she would rather be sick, so she can go whining to the doctor tomorrow.
Sorry about the poop, Diane.
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I've been poop mining....Need I say more?
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Bobbie good to hear from you-that is a horrible story of the man pouring acid on his daughter -very sad.
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Good Morning Crew,

Hope you guys are having a good Labor Day Weekend and I for one, am really craving weenies. haha
And then a roll of Tums. oof.

I saw this story earlier about a daughter who was attacked by her dad. If you are a caregiver with a mean parent please don't let your guard down.....

New York (CNN) -- A New York man was arrested after police say he poured acid on his daughter, burning her skin and sending her to the hospital in critical condition.
As one of the primary caretakers of Jerome Lynch, 69, Darlene Lynch, 49, was checking on her father in his Brooklyn apartment early Saturday afternoon, when seemingly out of nowhere, the elder Lynch came up behind her and poured acid on her face and down her body, according to Dominique Goodwin, the man's niece.
"Our family just doesn't understand," Goodwin said. "He's not incompetent. He's totally aware of what he did. We just don't know why."
Goodwin said Jerome Lynch had suffered a stroke several years ago, leading to a slur in his speech and a need for a cane or walker to get around.
Goodwin added that her family has no idea where he got the acid.
Police believe the corrosive substance was actually a cleaning solution that contained 98% sulfuric acid.
According to Goodwin, Darlene Lynch suffered burns over 50% of her body -- on her face and over her left side. At one point, it was feared she might lose her left eye, but Goodwin says her cousin is now able to see out of it.
An emergency medical team took the daughter to NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital in critical condition after the attack.
NYPD spokesman Sgt. John Buthorn said Sunday that Jerome Lynch had been arrested and charged with felony assault. Information about his arraignment and legal representation were not immediately available.

Everyone's crazy. Stay safe and I love you guys way more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
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