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Been a weird kind of day today. Took Mom shopping but Dad didn't want to go. He seems to be getting more weak and tired every day. But, he's still like a big 5 year old. He pretended to be doing a farmer's nose blow into my yogurt! A "snot rocket' so he says. Nice. Then, he tried hiding my purse. When I caught him, he tried hiding my shopping bag. Then, I got him back by closing him in the pantry when he was in there putting things away (I didn't close the door completely, but he got the idea). Then, he pretended like he was going to drop his drawers to moon me when I left. Oh, jeez. My youngest child is 14. My dad is 5. A joke my niece just forwarded me:
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that day. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "Ok, Ok we were watching porn."
Dad says,"What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was!" The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says,"Well he certainly is your son!" The robot slaps the mother! End of Story P.S. Robot For Sale
Linda dear heart thanks for driving buy I love you girlfriend. Cuz you are killing me can't wait to tell that joke at our senior center-we never lose our sense of humor-keep making us laugh and tell our Captain she needs to drive by.
Cattails - Yes it's a very hard decision to make and one that you will probably question for months after he's gone like I still do. BUT keep reminding yourself that you are making this decision for him based on what you know he would want. Would it be easier to not have to make that decision? Absolutely, the problem is these days, as Jim would say, they can keep a rock alive. Quality, not quantity, is the key. Hang in there! You and he are in my prayers ~ Kuli
Hello my friends on GO. I just posted this on Lisa's thread. I don't have the energy to rewrite or make it more personal. This is where we are at right now and I just wanted to share it with you all. I posted a prayer for my dad there too, if anyone is interested in reading it. Thanks to all of you for being who you are. Cat.
Hi everyone: Thanks so much for your supportive posts. My dad is "officially" dying. Of course I knew that. He is just not responding and is not interested in eating, etc. I was with him yesterday and then back today at lunch to feed him. HI took him out of the dining room, which is kind of noisy and he's so hard of hearing, to a private family room and fed him lunch there. He did eat better and drank his milk and his juice, but he just had this vacant look on his face. A while after lunch he wanted to lay down, so an aid helped me get him into bed. When I went in today, he was on oxygen. This is new as of this morning. When the staff was getting him up, they did his vitals and checked his oxygenation which was at 81%. Not good, so oxygen was added. I called my brothers and sister when I got home and told them I thought that dad was not going to be with us much longer so if they want to come up to see him, they should not waste any time. I just got off the phone with his doctor. He wants to know what my wishes are on how we should proceed. My dad is dehydrated and has now spiked a low grade fever. He is congested. Doc can take him off the lasix due to dehydration, but fluids will likely gather in the lungs and add to the congestion. This will likely lead to pneumonia. So do we want to hospitalize him, do IV antibiotics and fluids or just keep him comfortable? I felt like I had a giant stone in my gut, but I told his doc that I can't see the benefit to my dad to keep him going. I just don't believe it's what he would want. So we are going to go for comfort care only. This decision makes sense to me, but it is so hard to say it out loud. I hate to see my dad like this, but I think he is tired and ready to leave this life. I would be grateful if each of you would say a prayer to God for him. Love you all very much, Cattails
The pastor of this Baptist church had called all of the little children to the front of the church, dressed in their cute Easter outfits and had them sit around him. He said, “Today is Easter and you all look so handsome and beautiful. Today we're going to talk about the resurrection. Does anyone know what the resurrection is?” One little boy raised his hand, and the pastor said, “Please tell us what the resurrection is.” The boy, proud that he knew the answer, said in a clear loud voice, “When you get one lasting more than four hours, you gotta call a doctor!” It took a solid 10 minutes before the pastor could speak and there was so much laughter going on that his sermon was probably forgotten - but that boy's voice won't be.
deef !!! ur word pirate girl caught my eye !!! i have her email but havent emailed her in a long time . tell her i miss passin reefers back to her lol lol . she was hilliraisss when she hung out with us . the time she said her mom was in the living room bangin on the winodw yellin let me in let me in , pirate said geeze mom u are in !! ill never forget that .... pirate and rossella reminds me of eachother , love em both .... any hoo , deefer its god to see u post and givin them crews poniters about mom . i know i ve learn alot from your pointers , u saved my neck ! love u deef !!
now where is bobbie louuu ? ump hope shes doin ok i know the hurricane didnt go at her way so i know she and the boat is good . missin u bobbie ...
austin - ure right IT IS WHAT IT IS . lalala . damn if u do damn if u dont . doesnt matter which way , just do the best you can and it is what it is , :-) .
bookworm - i am sorry that ure havin a hellva time . u sound like an angel to care for who doesnt appreciate , i apprecatie for what ure doing ,. big hugs to you ....
i am ok . i dont want to get a job . so i did some housecleaning and realized its tearing up my body ! 10 yrs of working in fast pace ass job factory then 4 yrs of picking pa up and and down etc u name it . has done a major damages to my nerves in every parts of my body , musscles are all time screamin ! well hell i cant work . i dont have the enegry i once had . i guess i would say that i am RETIRED .. bless my hubbys heart . he said my job is at home . i dont have to work . he sees what my body does and he doesnt like it . says yep linda ure retired , i walk around like im made of glass and am afraid one little mistake i would fall and scattered to pieces , it realy sucks .. i am on meds to feel better but i am not feeling any better but it does help me to function daily jobs . without it i cry and i hurt allover . story of my life after pa s death since march ....
i think heavy about kimmy and ted . hope theyre doing ok , oh yes annt too !! miz , rip , oh jam :-) .. miss ya all folks ... christinaaaaa . :-) big hugs to u , i know ure busy . hope ur moms doing good .
many of u and new crews . big heart to u all . love ya all !! xoxo
I just spoke with the social worker from the insurance company and I did a depression assessment and scored 23 out of 27...What a suprise, I'm officially severly depressed. I have no idea why.....not
Just stopping by to say hi... MIL alzheimers is full force she is walking like a pro so that kinda gives it away walked in to her trying to carry a shitty pot from her bedside commode to go clean it IM like grabbing gloves saying here Ill take that for you...got my saying printed out and on fridge says.... God Give me patience Because if you Give Me Strength you probaly will need to throw in some bail money,,,AMEN.. LOVE U ALL....
Bookworm, I really hope that somehow you and your Mom can escape.. there has to be a way. I hate domestic violence and what it does to those who are abused for years. It is such an injustice that exists in this world. My hearth and prayers go out to you. Maybe a secret women's shelter? anyway it's something to think about even though I know how terrifying the thought of getting found has to be for you. I am glad that you found this forum because you need all the love and support you can get.
I'd love to comment to everyone but my time is short. I just want to say I am so inspired by everyone here and I read every post made and you are all in my thoughts daily. *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Love & Hugsღ
Lildeb... I take in rabbits that have been injured. We've got a golf course in the community, so we've got tons of rabbits running around, and I seem to have a knack for finding the injured and dazed ones on the road. I've got to keep the bunnies in a big box on the dryer in the laundry room with the door shut so my cats don't get to them till I can drop them off at the free vet (he actually tries to save them, even if it requires surgery - such a sweet man - then he delivers them to a bunny rescue lady to recover). If I see a second hand bird cage somewhere, I'm going to pick it up. I think it'll make life a lot easier the next time I come across an injured bunny. I'm wondering if a bird cage would be a good thing for your squirrel too. I heard somewhere that baby squirrels need puppy formula, so I looked it up. I was right.The puppy formula the website recommends is one called Esbilac (I wonder if the brand really matters?). One part formula can be mixed with 2 parts of water and 1/4 part heavy whipping cream (who'da thunk that?). I got the info from a really good website, I'll write it out lest the content nazi's remove it... squirreltales dot org. Good luck. Keep us posted. I'd love to hear how he does. So sweet of you to be his mother. :)
Lildeb: God bless your kind heart for taking in that baby squirrel. Call your vet and ask the necessary questions about diet and raising. I raised a baby owl once and found a place that would take him/her? and teach it to hunt. Not so sure that it is a difficult with a squirrel, but you environment may not be so friendly. Check with your vet and ask for referrals to wildlife rehabilitation groups. Thanks for helping the squirrel. Such kindness makes my heart sing. Love you, Cat
Sometimes u got to do what is best for your own health n safety n theirs too. Cat, don't won't to steal your words but, Those that r in the path of the hurricane I hope all are in a safe place until this blows over. It sounded that it will get slushy n head toward states that r needed the rain due to drought.
I have been taking care of a baby squirrel. Hubby heard some sweaking noise outside n one of r outdoor cat had him. I ran n got some dogfood trying to get the cat to let it go while hubby scooped him up or she. He seems about 4wks old. I call him, 'Rugrat.' He is a very squirmy squirrelly squirrel. I have him on kitten formula with pedialite through a eye-dropper. He is cute. I also have him a heating pad on one side with a little blankey n hubbys white t-shirt. I have 2 indoor curious cats n 3 dogs. I have to get the dogs outside when I feed him which is every 4 hrs. It like having a child all over again. I guess when his eyes open I will call Wild life for I heard as long as their eyes r still closed they will euthinize it. I be damn after rescuing n nursing his butt to stay alive! Anyone here ever taking care of a baby squirrel with cats around? I cannot just let him go for when his eyes do open he will have to learn how to be a 'real squirrel' in order to have a chance to survive. I never thought I be taking care of a baby squirrel. ; ) I'm tired n I hope everyone have a good night rest n pray for those in the path of the hurricane again.
Susan, so sorry to hear about your mom. Hope you can figure out what's next for you. Maybe move out to the west coast with your boys? Did you get my e-mail? It sure would be nice to get together! Okay, all of you care givers that are having diaper and laundry problems, here is my advice for a dry bed. Google Wellness Briefs and get you some of the best diapers on the market!!!! I used to have to do Mom's bed daily. Wet pads, sheets, and even her pillow!!! Since I have been buying her Wellness Briefs, the bed only gets washed to be refreshed. they do not come in pullup style, but are well worth it. Most times they are on sale and end up costing only $1.00 each. I put a maximum protect pad inside for added protection. Mom has PD, so when she gets in bed at night, her bladder just lets go when she relaxes. I also found that if I pull a pair of her cotton briefs over the diaper, she seems to pick at them less. It also helps to put her arms over the sheet at night and I tie the sheet to the bed rail so she can't get under it with her hands. Dealing with a shredded diaper just once was enough for me! Diane, check the financial office at your local hospital. They can help you fill out the paperwork for medicaid. Mass. has MassHealth for free if you qualify and CommonWealth Care that you pay for according to income. My husband and I are going to the hospital next week to apply for that. All the paperwork will be done by them and we should know if we qualify before we leave the office. If we did it by ourselves or online, it would take a few weeks. So check your local hospital. Mom is on Namenda and aricept. The Namenda did help her when she started it last year and she is lost even more without the Aricept. But these don't always work for everyone. She was on Lexapro for 3 years and it didn't help at all!! Paxil did the trick for her. As for sibs, I got zinged really good by a younger sister while my oldest sister was here for 2 weeks. Luckily my cousin was sitting with me when she made her nasty comment, so I have a witness to what a B!tch she really is! Cat, Sounds like the wedding was very nice. For all you oldies on GO, I've been communicating with Pirategirl! She's doing well, but still misses her mom. Got one more batch of salsa put up today and the rest of the week will be grape jelly making and red raspberry jam!
sskape2: Sending you love and understanding. You have put so many years into taking care of your mom and I share your joy in knowing that you were able to keep her in her home and personally tend to her needs and comfort. I would hope that you can picture her spirit, free of this worlds tethers, thanking you for the love and care you gave her. She is free now and whole. Now you have to find your way back to a life of your own. It will take some time, so be kind to yourself. I'm not up on the issues Austin mentioned about your sibs, but whatever the case, I hope you have peace in knowing that the journey you took with your mom is more powerful and love filled than the unkindness you may have received for siblings. Continue to walk in the light. Blessings to you, Cattails.
SS I am so sorry to hear about the death of your Mom and am glad you were able to care for her at home which is best for everyone. I am so sorry about how your sibs are acting. I hope when you are ready you will come back here-I think former caretakers are a big help to those going through the journey-I was help by a lady who started a caregiving support group at our local hospital when I was caring for my husband and it helped me that is one reason why I have stayed on AC and am avtive in the caregivers support group at our senior center at this time.
Hi , just popping in , I used to post on here but haven't lately. My Mom passed away on aug 16. I was able to keep her in her home and was there at the end., I felt really good about staying with her. We were able to have a service and funeral, even though my sibs and I are hardly speaking. Now the hard part.. deciding what to do next! I'm taking it one day at a time and trying to stay positive , one door closes, another opens. If all else fails, I'll get drunk, eat ice cream, etc. Oh, I did that yesterday. Hope you all are doing ok and hanging in there! love, ssk
It may sound sad to say you don't have love in your heart for your parents or spouse but after being abused for years what can anyone expect we are hyman-I once told my sister it is hard to hug mom when I am so frustrated with her behavior she said she did not hug her mom never gave us hugs growing up so now I do not feel guilty when I do not give her a hug-it is what it is
meanwhile, don't worry about the duct tape comment. You weren't the first one to mention it. Of course it sounds logical but how were you suppose to know the family dynamics? You gave good advice but it just won't apply here.
I feel so relieved when you mention that it is hard to find any love in your heart for your mom. I've always felt bad that I don't have love for my parents. Let's just say that action speaks louder than words.
Dad has been looking sad lately. I gave up trying to converse, joke or anything with him. He can be nice one minute and then be so mean the next. I feel sad that he's stuck in the bed all day, every day. Then I remind myself that he could have been walking if he had just cooperated with his physical therapy. He just didn't want to walk, so....his fault. And my problem. He's getting senile fast. He has problem finding words and sometimes when he talks, his words are slurred. Then he gets mad at me because I don't understand what he's saying. Shrug...
Book, I'm sorry about the duct tape comment. You are one tough lady. Poop all over the place is pretty overwhelming to anyone though. I have been fortunate in my life to not have to deal with an abusive man in my life, but my Mother beat the living day lights out of me until I was 16. She even beat on her 1st husband (my father). Her 2nd husband she is just verbally abusive to. Bless his heart, he was the reason my mother finally quit hitting me. She is mellowed a lot in her old age, I can finally forgive her, (she is mentally ill), but it is hard to find any love in my heart for her. Still, makes me sad that you take care of your parents for no pay, and won't even have a home when they are gone. There is a special place in heaven waiting for you.
Two out of three of my brothers are abusers. As a teen, I was always afraid of oldest bro so I kept silent. But I couldn't understand why he used his pregnant wife as a punching bag - on her stomach. I worried that the baby would die. I was about 13yrs old at the time. I couldn't understand why she still wanted to marry him when he beats her up. 2nd oldest brother was just as abusive with his wife and kids. Except this brother would even throw his heavy metal-toe shoes to his kids. Both of my brothers' sons are abusive to their family. The abuse seems to run strong among the male members of my family. It's a very vicious cycle.
I'm fine. Really. I'm very good at accepting and moving forward...except for the poop mess. Strange, isn't it? Who would have thought that poop mess would be MY downfall!! ;-/
Book I am so sorry for the abuse you are taking-is it your brother who is a abuser-it does run in families-my husbands mother and grandfather were abusers-I learned this from pt.s I cared for over the years-my husband always wanted his grandfather's last name on his gravestone-first of all he is not getting a gravestone until his debts are paid off and will put his grandfathers last name on it at all.
It really amazes me that people do not want to talk about domestic abuse -what happened to your arm -oh I bumbed it on a door ok just because I did not say my husband kicked the shit out of me everyone said ok even my therapist-a male- did not want me to tell him the truth he kept saying be very careful how you answer my question in other words do NOT tell me the truth-the paperwork will keep me late tonight-then they wrote him a letter-I read and called the therapist and said do you want him to killme -he will if he reads the letter-so he told me to destroy it and a social worker came to the house and pussyfooted around the subject-the physical abuse stopped but not the emotional abuse until years later -when he died. I t looks like nothing has changed in the last 35-40 yrs. Unbieveable-I am sorry this make me so angery.
Thanks, all. Don't worry Cricket. Dad is not so bad now as when he was walking. He always liked to aim for my head. The last time he hit me, my eye glass halfway came off my face. I always worried he would leave a bruise on my face and then what would I say to people when I go to work? ....But I had to stay home because if I left, mom would have suffered More black eyes. With me here, he aimed most of his anger to me. There was a wall of silence when mom had a black eye (social services saw but kept silent too.) The worst past. He once tried to choke me. Note I said Tried. When I saw his hands aiming for my throat as if to grab it, I positioned my whole body side ways, raised my right arm, swung it back ready to put all my weight into the punch. He stopped and backed off.... At least now, with him bedridden, he has tried to punch my face but all he gets now is my upper arm. I knew, even before he said that he can kill me by kicking my throat - of this threat. I think when a person is physically abused, we learn to spot potential "weapon" that can be used on us. My family knew of his physical abuse. But the attitude is: Better You Than Me.... NH is Not an option.... I still argue with him - but always at a safe distance. He can't chase me anymore. I still get punched because I'm not fast at seeing and dodging. Don't worry...I disagree when people tell me that deep down I love him - that's why I'm here taking care of them. I'm here for mom. Once she dies, I will do my best to pack up and leave. In my eyes, he doesn't deserve me. Him and brother are almost the same....abusers, users.
Cricket said what I would have said myself-a good therapist told me many years when I was in the hell of caregiving I was waiting for someone to rescue me and it was not going to happen after my anger settled down I realized she was right-he was in rehad yet again one of 16 times-and at the next family meeting I just spoke up and said I could not it any more and all the staff members at the meeting of course you can't and the husband I am not going into a NH and I told he had a chance to go to adult day care and would not go now he had so say in the matter it was no longer his decision-he died before being placed but he knew I had had all the shit I was taking from him for many years.
Morning Crew, there is lots on rain and wind here this morning. We had the line of Thunderstorms pass through in the night and currently we are under tornado alerts but the worst in my area right now is west of us. I feel bad for those in the gulf port and Louisiana, it looks like it will reach Hurricane level and bear down on them.
Bookworm, check your page for hugs. I just want to remind you that you are doing a job that calls for above and beyond measures, so please don't allow your brother to manipulate you into feeling ANY guilt. The next time he comes over to talk to you about "his concerns" simply tell him that if he is concerned you don't want to hear anything but need him to show his concern by doing something to help you out, like help find the right person or come and do it himself. I am offering this suggestion because I can see the manipulation under the guise of concern being used on you. I'm not saying that he doesn't care, I'm sure he does to some degree but caring is not the same as helping. It's hard to understand siblings in these situations but the bottom line and important thing to remember is to set a boundary for yourself with them to protect yourself. I suggest that when anyone comes over or calls you to talk to you that before they get to sentence two interrupt by saying... What do you intend to do to help me? then if they continue to talk without giving you a concrete solution and help, then interrupt them again and plain out tell the that you have moved beyond the stage of concern and that you are DOING the best you can. If they feel it isn't good enough then they can either DO something to help or take over the job, but if all they want to do is talk to you about it they need to stop. Walk away or make them walk away and don't tolerate that kind of behavior. You will most likely make them angry but that is their fault, not yours. I am sure there are so many others here that understand what you are going through. You are carrying a heavy burden by caregiving and you don't need all that family drama heaped on top of you. Please lighten your burden this way and protect yourself. If he persists then move your father in with him and let him deal with the diapers, hiring, potential violence. Also, if you are fearing violence from your father please start looking into NH quietly, you have to protect yourself honey and not just physically.. the emotional strain you are bearing up under the fear of making him angry is way to much for you to be expected to bear. Don't worry about what others (family) might think or say. You know the situation they don't. And I know for a fact that Diane, Austin and may others will help you though the pain you feel from family.
Just one last thing and that is... Your reaction and the difficulty you are having with your fathers poop issues IS normal. It is normal for you. Your feelings and the hardship that you are experiencing IS valid. So along with all of us here give yourself a hug, love and understanding. You deserve it. And come here and talk about whatever is going on. You really need it. *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
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A joke my niece just forwarded me:
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that day.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok we were watching porn."
Dad says,"What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was!"
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says,"Well he certainly is your son!"
The robot slaps the mother!
End of Story
P.S. Robot For Sale
Hi everyone: Thanks so much for your supportive posts. My dad is "officially" dying. Of course I knew that. He is just not responding and is not interested in eating, etc. I was with him yesterday and then back today at lunch to feed him. HI took him out of the dining room, which is kind of noisy and he's so hard of hearing, to a private family room and fed him lunch there. He did eat better and drank his milk and his juice, but he just had this vacant look on his face. A while after lunch he wanted to lay down, so an aid helped me get him into bed.
When I went in today, he was on oxygen. This is new as of this morning. When the staff was getting him up, they did his vitals and checked his oxygenation which was at 81%. Not good, so oxygen was added.
I called my brothers and sister when I got home and told them I thought that dad was not going to be with us much longer so if they want to come up to see him, they should not waste any time.
I just got off the phone with his doctor. He wants to know what my wishes are on how we should proceed. My dad is dehydrated and has now spiked a low grade fever. He is congested. Doc can take him off the lasix due to dehydration, but fluids will likely gather in the lungs and add to the congestion. This will likely lead to pneumonia. So do we want to hospitalize him, do IV antibiotics and fluids or just keep him comfortable?
I felt like I had a giant stone in my gut, but I told his doc that I can't see the benefit to my dad to keep him going. I just don't believe it's what he would want. So we are going to go for comfort care only.
This decision makes sense to me, but it is so hard to say it out loud. I hate to see my dad like this, but I think he is tired and ready to leave this life. I would be grateful if each of you would say a prayer to God for him.
Love you all very much, Cattails
The pastor of this Baptist church had called all of the little children to the front of the church, dressed in their cute Easter outfits and had them sit around him.
He said, “Today is Easter and you all look so handsome and beautiful. Today we're going to talk about the resurrection. Does anyone know what the resurrection is?”
One little boy raised his hand, and the pastor said, “Please tell us what the resurrection is.”
The boy, proud that he knew the answer, said in a clear loud voice, “When you get one lasting more than four hours, you gotta call a doctor!” It took a solid 10 minutes before the pastor could speak and there was so much laughter going on that his sermon was probably forgotten - but that boy's voice won't be.
ill never forget that .... pirate and rossella reminds me of eachother , love em both .... any hoo , deefer its god to see u post and givin them crews poniters about mom . i know i ve learn alot from your pointers , u saved my neck ! love u deef !!
now where is bobbie louuu ? ump hope shes doin ok i know the hurricane didnt go at her way so i know she and the boat is good . missin u bobbie ...
austin - ure right IT IS WHAT IT IS . lalala . damn if u do damn if u dont . doesnt matter which way , just do the best you can and it is what it is , :-) .
bookworm - i am sorry that ure havin a hellva time . u sound like an angel to care for who doesnt appreciate , i apprecatie for what ure doing ,. big hugs to you ....
i am ok . i dont want to get a job . so i did some housecleaning and realized its tearing up my body ! 10 yrs of working in fast pace ass job factory then 4 yrs of picking pa up and and down etc u name it . has done a major damages to my nerves in every parts of my body , musscles are all time screamin ! well hell i cant work . i dont have the enegry i once had . i guess i would say that i am RETIRED .. bless my hubbys heart . he said my job is at home . i dont have to work . he sees what my body does and he doesnt like it . says yep linda ure retired ,
i walk around like im made of glass and am afraid one little mistake i would fall and scattered to pieces , it realy sucks .. i am on meds to feel better but i am not feeling any better but it does help me to function daily jobs . without it i cry and i hurt allover . story of my life after pa s death since march ....
i think heavy about kimmy and ted . hope theyre doing ok , oh yes annt too !! miz , rip , oh jam :-) .. miss ya all folks ...
christinaaaaa . :-) big hugs to u , i know ure busy . hope ur moms doing good .
many of u and new crews . big heart to u all . love ya all !! xoxo
God Give me patience Because if you Give Me Strength you probaly will need to throw in some bail money,,,AMEN..
LOVE U ALL....
Bookworm, I really hope that somehow you and your Mom can escape.. there has to be a way. I hate domestic violence and what it does to those who are abused for years. It is such an injustice that exists in this world. My hearth and prayers go out to you. Maybe a secret women's shelter? anyway it's something to think about even though I know how terrifying the thought of getting found has to be for you. I am glad that you found this forum because you need all the love and support you can get.
I'd love to comment to everyone but my time is short. I just want to say I am so inspired by everyone here and I read every post made and you are all in my thoughts daily.
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Cat, don't won't to steal your words but, Those that r in the path of the hurricane I hope all are in a safe place until this blows over. It sounded that it will get slushy n head toward states that r needed the rain due to drought.
I have been taking care of a baby squirrel. Hubby heard some sweaking noise outside n one of r outdoor cat had him. I ran n got some dogfood trying to get the cat to let it go while hubby scooped him up or she. He seems about 4wks old. I call him, 'Rugrat.' He is a very squirmy squirrelly squirrel. I have him on kitten formula with pedialite through a eye-dropper. He is cute. I also have him a heating pad on one side with a little blankey n hubbys white t-shirt. I have 2 indoor curious cats n 3 dogs. I have to get the dogs outside when I feed him which is every 4 hrs. It like having a child all over again. I guess when his eyes open I will call Wild life for I heard as long as their eyes r still closed they will euthinize it. I be damn after rescuing n nursing his butt to stay alive! Anyone here ever taking care of a baby squirrel with cats around? I cannot just let him go for when his eyes do open he will have to learn how to be a 'real squirrel' in order to have a chance to survive. I never thought I be taking care of a baby squirrel. ; )
I'm tired n I hope everyone have a good night rest n pray for those in the path of the hurricane again.
Okay, all of you care givers that are having diaper and laundry problems, here is my advice for a dry bed. Google Wellness Briefs and get you some of the best diapers on the market!!!! I used to have to do Mom's bed daily. Wet pads, sheets, and even her pillow!!! Since I have been buying her Wellness Briefs, the bed only gets washed to be refreshed. they do not come in pullup style, but are well worth it. Most times they are on sale and end up costing only $1.00 each. I put a maximum protect pad inside for added protection. Mom has PD, so when she gets in bed at night, her bladder just lets go when she relaxes. I also found that if I pull a pair of her cotton briefs over the diaper, she seems to pick at them less. It also helps to put her arms over the sheet at night and I tie the sheet to the bed rail so she can't get under it with her hands. Dealing with a shredded diaper just once was enough for me!
Diane, check the financial office at your local hospital. They can help you fill out the paperwork for medicaid. Mass. has MassHealth for free if you qualify and CommonWealth Care that you pay for according to income. My husband and I are going to the hospital next week to apply for that. All the paperwork will be done by them and we should know if we qualify before we leave the office. If we did it by ourselves or online, it would take a few weeks. So check your local hospital. Mom is on Namenda and aricept. The Namenda did help her when she started it last year and she is lost even more without the Aricept. But these don't always work for everyone. She was on Lexapro for 3 years and it didn't help at all!! Paxil did the trick for her.
As for sibs, I got zinged really good by a younger sister while my oldest sister was here for 2 weeks. Luckily my cousin was sitting with me when she made her nasty comment, so I have a witness to what a B!tch she really is!
Cat, Sounds like the wedding was very nice.
For all you oldies on GO, I've been communicating with Pirategirl! She's doing well, but still misses her mom.
Got one more batch of salsa put up today and the rest of the week will be grape jelly making and red raspberry jam!
My Mom passed away on aug 16. I was able to keep her in her home and was there at the end., I felt really good about staying with her.
We were able to have a service and funeral, even though my sibs and I are hardly speaking.
Now the hard part.. deciding what to do next! I'm taking it one day at a time and trying to stay positive , one door closes, another opens. If all else fails, I'll get drunk, eat ice cream, etc. Oh, I did that yesterday.
Hope you all are doing ok and hanging in there!
love, ssk
I feel so relieved when you mention that it is hard to find any love in your heart for your mom. I've always felt bad that I don't have love for my parents. Let's just say that action speaks louder than words.
Dad has been looking sad lately. I gave up trying to converse, joke or anything with him. He can be nice one minute and then be so mean the next. I feel sad that he's stuck in the bed all day, every day. Then I remind myself that he could have been walking if he had just cooperated with his physical therapy. He just didn't want to walk, so....his fault. And my problem. He's getting senile fast. He has problem finding words and sometimes when he talks, his words are slurred. Then he gets mad at me because I don't understand what he's saying. Shrug...
I'm fine. Really. I'm very good at accepting and moving forward...except for the poop mess. Strange, isn't it? Who would have thought that poop mess would be MY downfall!! ;-/
Have to go...time to do daughterly duties.
Bookworm, check your page for hugs. I just want to remind you that you are doing a job that calls for above and beyond measures, so please don't allow your brother to manipulate you into feeling ANY guilt. The next time he comes over to talk to you about "his concerns" simply tell him that if he is concerned you don't want to hear anything but need him to show his concern by doing something to help you out, like help find the right person or come and do it himself. I am offering this suggestion because I can see the manipulation under the guise of concern being used on you. I'm not saying that he doesn't care, I'm sure he does to some degree but caring is not the same as helping. It's hard to understand siblings in these situations but the bottom line and important thing to remember is to set a boundary for yourself with them to protect yourself. I suggest that when anyone comes over or calls you to talk to you that before they get to sentence two interrupt by saying... What do you intend to do to help me? then if they continue to talk without giving you a concrete solution and help, then interrupt them again and plain out tell the that you have moved beyond the stage of concern and that you are DOING the best you can. If they feel it isn't good enough then they can either DO something to help or take over the job, but if all they want to do is talk to you about it they need to stop. Walk away or make them walk away and don't tolerate that kind of behavior. You will most likely make them angry but that is their fault, not yours. I am sure there are so many others here that understand what you are going through. You are carrying a heavy burden by caregiving and you don't need all that family drama heaped on top of you. Please lighten your burden this way and protect yourself. If he persists then move your father in with him and let him deal with the diapers, hiring, potential violence. Also, if you are fearing violence from your father please start looking into NH quietly, you have to protect yourself honey and not just physically.. the emotional strain you are bearing up under the fear of making him angry is way to much for you to be expected to bear. Don't worry about what others (family) might think or say. You know the situation they don't. And I know for a fact that Diane, Austin and may others will help you though the pain you feel from family.
Just one last thing and that is... Your reaction and the difficulty you are having with your fathers poop issues IS normal. It is normal for you. Your feelings and the hardship that you are experiencing IS valid. So along with all of us here give yourself a hug, love and understanding. You deserve it. And come here and talk about whatever is going on. You really need it.
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