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Good Early Morning Crew, Bookworm, Cattails is right. Just keep on posting and so what if you're negative? You will be negative until you're positive. Just keep getting the negative out so the positive can get in. Just keep griping because good griping leads to change!
Just about everyone here has had a run of black hole days and I think just about everyone here has hosted a pity party for themselves at some point. Hey I just had my last pity party a few days ago and I have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. I'm still just in the aftermath. Bookworm, you are deep in the trenches and if you don't speak up when you should you can hurt yourself so hey... holler out if you're happy or you're sad... we'll take you any way we can get you!
Victoriak, ya, I remember when that all was going on. I was referring to my poor mom drooling. She would drool, wipe her hand across her mouth, stare at her hand like it was the first time she had seen it (because to her it WAS the first time she had seen it) and then show it to me. She did this probably 500 times a day. I got to the point where I would have to leave the room, but as we all know, you can't leave for long because then there will be 10 times the work to do if you are not right on top of it all constantly. I don't even want to get started on the poop issues. Mom was pretty good in light of the many stories I have heard here. I will tell you that it all becomes about the poop. For me it was just easier to take her to the bathroom every ten minutes than let her go alone and get it everywhere and wind up with an UTI to boot. When I look back on the whole situation, the poop issues are what drove me to the brink because she didn't know if she had just gone or needed to go and as much as I loved her and I miss her boy oh boy I don't miss that stuff.
Austin! Or as some of us call her: Maxine! You are correct Madam, in that it is the love that goes around is what's the deal here. How's the new, ahem, friend situation coming along?? You closed the deal yet?? Sorry Maxine, I couldn't help myself. It always seems that what guys do: Inquire about personal relationships and then want to know if the deal has been closed.....
Meanwhile! I hear you about the heat! I won't get off the boat in the middle of the day. I used to live in the mountains and really miss it sometimes. Heat is a killer. Love the statement about your sister who is very determined...
Cricket! You were wonderful on the Webcast! Thanks for being there and it looks like we're going to do it again this evening, 9pm in the East, and 6pm in the West and all are invited. There's emails going here and there with the particulars so those that want to can join in. It's still in the baby steps phase but hey... Vent and Live!
Cuz! Love to your sister, Diane and to your mom and Mike and of course to you. Thanks for the jokes and I'm happy you have a new air freshener.
Linda! Ya, that was a tough time for me for sure and I know that you were real sad as well. I just wished that when you guys went to the hotel with the hot tub you would have invited me! haha I so wanted to get off the boat and have some fun too. Please give my love to Helen and Debbie.
My heart goes out to ssk and many of us know what she is facing. Hope her mom passes peacefully and that ssk heals quickly.
Want to say hi and I love you to everyone but I have to get up and do some boat work for now. More later, love you guys way more than you'll ever know, lovbob
Cricket that is amazing about the webcast-any publicity about caregiving is fantastic-most people just close their eyes to what we go through-don't talk about it. How is our Ted doing these days -I bet he is doing amazing things. it is easy getting confused when being a caregiver-all that hard work and pressure gets to you-my mind is much clearer since the husband died-he had me believing I was losing it but now I know it was the pressure cooker of caregiving-our caregivers support group meets again today-I met one of the ladies that attended our first meeting at the NH where my best friend from the Senior Center is rehabing and I told her how the social worker did not want former caregives there and she said we are a great help to her-my friend will not be going home with her family-she is going to AL and I am bumed out about that but at least it is not too far away from here so I will be able to go to see her-We are called partners in crime-between the two of us we keep things going-I am taking my new friend to see her tomarrow.
Cuz - yes, you should stay with friends who make you laugh. But I think you should also add a third line to that. I've learned this the hard way when I spend my free time with fave sis, her 2 girls and their kids (my grand niece and nephew). They take 1 weekend every week to encourage me (whether by shopping or just dropping by with food). I've learned when people are happy, good - don't vent to them because they too end up getting upset, angry and etc. Then, now, we all are in the same boat - unhappy! So, I would like to add to your 2 lines, my 3rd line:
If you have friends who make you laugh, spend lots of time with them, constant complaints and negativity not allowed.
Bobbie. I heard, "So sick of being disgusted. I love her but oh man." After what I experienced several hours ago, I am yet unable to look back to find out what you were referring to, but I so totally hear you. LOL! I just wish my mom's bowels worked as flawlessly as mine. Why is that so much to ask? And does she really have to play with it???? *sigh*
Had to catch up on posts. Went out of town for couple of days, and got sick from the heat. I live in the mountains, so not used to it anymore. But, feeling better. SSk, you are in my prayers as well. Bookworm, I don't know how you manage, your amazing. Take care of yourself. Diane, you too. Everybody else as well. Last night the young dog killed a skunk, but not without consequences! So while I was at work, Sis got the baby shampoo, hydrogen peroxide, and baking soda out. The old dog didn't get sprayed, but Sis decided he could use a bath as well, but by the time she had finished with the young dog, the old guy was hiding in the dog house. She had to drag all 90 pounds of him out of the dog house. My sister doesn't weigh much more than that, but she can be very determined. Good night all, and take care. Love Meanwhile
I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ If you have friends who make you laugh, spend lots of time with them. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Evening Crew, It's not uncommon for any of us to get confused about who said what. The way I look at it is it's part of the side effects of being a caregiver. So when someone answers or comments to the wrong person I just go with the flow anymore and hope that others will do the same for me when I get confused. Many times when I'm reading everyone's posts I'm nodding and thinking to myself oh I should say this or that and then I continue reading and by the time I get to the end of the posts I usually end up commenting on who I think needs encouragement the most. It's just to hard to comment to everyone. I try to just look at us as a collective body and give attention where I think it's needed most. Does that make any sense to you guys and gals? I hope so :)
Tonight I attended a Webcast on Caregiving and was interviewed live. It was quite an encouraging experience. I even got to see another caregiver from here face to face! Ted and Diane were there also and shared their experiences and talked about caregiving. I think it's going to be an ongoing event and can't wait to do it again.
I hope everyone and their parents are safe and as well as can be expected tonight. Mame, Bookworm, Onlyme, and lildeb, you ladies hang in there and know that you aren't alone, my heart goes out to each one of you right now.
bookworm I understand completely I'm 41 & starting to think Im loosing my memory bad.. I have to make notes what needs to get done or ill forget & all of you some like cat has spoke to me alot & told me alot to help me out & bobbie & i still consid. a newbie but i take notes to or love to follow cats post cause she ussualy reminds me what i just read from all of you... Been a crappy day my back hurts from mil not even trying and falling because she takes alarm off so I saftey pinned it to her .. Tommmrow starts the popcorn festival starts w the best parade ever & we are small town so you know everybody the ball team floats so, kids excited... MIL is going . Hopefully hubby gets to go... well said austin....
ssk- my heart is with you dear , sending angels at your way . xoxoxox
bobbie - i knew something was wrong when i got on ur boat and i tell you im glad that lady is gone cuz i had bad vibes and it was pullin me down . spiritly was still lingering in the air and it wasnt a good one .... when i left i felt so much of the spirit came off my shoulders . and lord behold no wonder u were surounded by the bad spirits !! that woman is no good , she s into bad shit man ! i hope that spirit is gone long ago . i think it is cuz ure posting again whooo hoo ! she may be nice and fun to be with but spiritly its a bad one ... CHRISTINA am i right ? christina knows . shes so full of angels goods in her . i love her ! i love you so much bobbie and stay away for who makes u down . one day ill be back on ur boat lalala ....
king island was wonderful ! so glad i went , it perked me up and i been lalala since monday !!! wooo daughter s going back to work this comin monday and shes got her hands full . so this mommy here is gonna help as much as i can . :-) .
Bookworm-I know exactly how you feel about speaking to individuals in your posts! I was so nervous about it when I first came on it that I would write little notes for myself about each person and what was going on that day! I was and am so afraid of forgetting someone and having them feel left out!!! But I think everyone here knows we all love eachother and would never want to leave someone out-but some things ppl say just hit home and you have to speak to that person or persons. Tomorrow or next post you may be talking to someone else...it all comes out in the wash! I just wanted you to know that it was, and sometimes still is, a source of stress for me tooo!!! As for poop-it will always be a sourse of discussion on this site won't it?? I am much better than I used to be but still gag every now and then...an mom always laughs! Gonna be hot again here today-but cooling off the rest of the week! I am so excited to not be a sweat ball! Yes, as you can tell, my mood is better today. Thanks everyone! Mame
Book I understand about the poop-I was a nurse and I hated it when my pts. fingerpainted with their poop-but vomiting was the worse I would start gagging myself-and spinal taps forget about it I nearly fainted every time.
My mother-in-law can no longer get up or do things for herself so she doesn't do this stuff any more--but I happened upon the hospice bath aide using my daughter's toothbrush to brush Grandma's dentures! The aide just picked up the toothbrush nearest to the sink and assumed it was Grandma's. Don't know how many times before that she'd used it--I told my daughter it was the first time and bought her a new one.
Thanks, cat. It's the poop that I can't stand! Ever since I was a teenager and was forced to babysit my older siblings' children (my bro called it "happy labor" not paid babysitting), I have always hated changing pampers with poop. Mom wasn't so bad because she only pooped when it was time to change her pampers. Dad is so different. He Touches It! And Spreads It!! I get so grossed out, I just want to walk out and never come back. I mean, I can clean traches (stomach churning event -best not to eat until After) and her stomach tube (gross to see stomach acid coming out of the hole and see the result of it burning her outer skin). But, show me poop - and I just can't seem to get used to it. I see it, and then I either get soooo angry and disgusted and just don't even want to go NEAR him and it. Or like today, it overwhelms me and I just go immediately into depression. And he's going through this stage. It was the sudden shut down this morning when I knew maybe it's time to seek counseling. It was just too drastic a change in me. Scary...if you know what I mean. All my hard work to get out of the tunnel - just slammed into me. I started this morning figuring out a way to make the arrangements and decided a Saturday morning would be best. This scared me. My emotions are too drastic and overwhelming. That maybe it's time to seek counseling. I'm now like 75% leaning towards it. Don't worry. I'm not suicidal now. No poop to overwhelm me.
Sis is a given. She will move back in December. She will free-load. We are already struggling with what little food we have (pampers, wipes, etc costs so much.) I really really try Not to think of it. I really hope she will be of help this time around. I've had a terrible temper when growing up. I've learned to control it. In order to do so, I have had to keep every anger inside me. One day, sis will push me too far, and I won't care if she's my elder. (We were raised to respect our elder.) I will end up telling her off and Ordering her what I want out of her...Or Else. Until that time, I keep peace. Yes, I know, it's no good to hold in your anger. That's why I'm here venting! hehehe!!
Well, no more sad thoughts, time to move on.. I have to change their pampers now, and the trache. With enough time, I still need to read the "Caregiver How Are U" and Lisa's thread. Thanks, cat and all!
Bookworm: When you first came to AC you were extremely depressed and had considered ending your life. You started posting and connecting with people and, bless you, it lifted you up and moved your forward.
Recently, you got your feelings hurt on AC. It was on another thread and apologies were made so I'm hoping that the experience of that situation is not keeping you from posting everyday, as many times each day as you can. Your stories and posts to others are insightful and encouraging. You make a positive difference in the lives of others.
I have so much respect for you. What you must accomplish everyday is unbelievable. I could not do what you do and I say that with all honesty. On the other hand, I think I have more options that you do, so I don't have to do what you do. So there is a difference, in my favor, between us. Please understand that the fact that I have more options than you only increases my respect for you and your ability to carry on. You rock!!!!
I can't begin to tell you how angry I get about your life. I think of you as a prisoner in this family compound. Didn't you just say recently that your older sister will be moving in with you? It didn't sound like you even had a say in that. Just another thing you must accept. I hope this sister will be of some value in taking care of your parents. Since she will be having a roof over her head, I would also hope that it is not your responsibility to pay her to take care of the parents while you are working.
I have no problem with your religion. I would only say that I hope it is a comfort to you. Nevertheless, you stated in your post that you are ready to get counseling. That is your decision to make and I do hope you make that choice.
You have spent your life going along with the responsibilities placed on you. I'm sure it is a combination of family and religion that has kept you working around the clock for so many years.
You are well trained in family values and your religious upbringing. Yet you intuitively know that what has been cast upon you is not right. In my very humble opinion this is God's voice speaking to you. You are a part of God and a part of humanity. Hold on to that and understand that when your soul speaks to you, it might be more meaningful than ideology. Follow you gut and you won't go wrong because this is how you hear God.
I've missed you posts, the frequency of them and all the things you had to tell about your day.
I know you describe yourself as a very literal person. Bless you, you have taken to heart good advise and put it to use. Don't forget that part of you is universal and tied to a greater awareness. Follow your gut and heart. It doesn't always have to be literal or black and white..
I am sending you love and hoping to see you back here and on various other threads. You are an amazing woman. Love and Hugs, Cattails.
Hi All...I've been coming daily and reading the posts. I find it difficult to remember who is what on this site. Even though I don't mention you all by names, I have been keeping track...then forget the next day. So frustrating my forgetfulness. I'm getting more and more forgetful. I know it's from the stress of caregiving and definitely the lack of sleep. For the past 2 nights, mom needs constant suctioning. I look at the time, it's like every hour I get up to suction her. Then by 4am, it's like every 30 min...So, I come on this site, and it's a struggle to remember who said what. I feel bad when I don't mention each of you. It's like I'm being rude. Today I know that Lildeb has an appt with heart doc. Tomorrow, I will remember that Someone had the heart appt but can't remember Who. It just seems so rude that I can't remember ..so I don't comment.
Dad is definitely going to be the poopy stage. He keeps telling me over and over to quit treating him like a kid (when I give him advice like scratching the rash is going to make it worse, quit touching IN there, too much herbals is causing your body to break out in rashes, etc...) He has the nerve to look at the poop on the bed and ask, "What's that? How did it get there? I didn't do it!" And he says not to treat him like a child? (Which I Don't!)
This morning, I saw poop on waterproof pad and basically shut down. It was like...major depression descended. I dragged my feet to clean him. Because I did that, I was late. I left the house at 8:20am. I drove regularly (following the speed limit of 35mph) instead of trying to be Speedy Gonzalez with eyes all over looking out for cops while I try to push the speed limit of 43 mph. Uhm...cops tend to give you speeding tickets when you go 45 and up. Arrived work - 8:45...and the boss was there! I walked in and just said, "Good morning." Since he didn't bring up my tardiness, I decided that I will do the same. But that just set my day...a bit down...
As I read the other threads today, the thought keeps popping up that maybe it's time to seek therapy. I'm still so torn since therapy is a no-no with my religion. I will need to really think hard on this. Please All - do not come down on my religion here. I'm already feeling guilty for even being on this site!! It's a constant struggle within me: Being at AC vs Religious belief. An official of my religion very reluctantly mentioned to me that if therapy is needed, then I should see one. But I can read between the lines. It's still frowned upon but ...It's hard to overcome this when we were told over and over for Years that therapy is a No-No.
I only commented because Bobbie's comment a few pages back asking us to comment. Kind of felt bad that I haven't been posting. It's just I hate being so negative all the time...so I don't post.
Sscape: I don't really know, just the little from my time on GO and your limited posting during that period. I did, however, read more about you in earlier postings on GO. My heart and prayers are with you and your mom. Blessings for a peaceful passing. Love, Cattails
SSkape ! so Sorry ... Rugged road but your Grossed friends are here & on FB. Hi Kuli ~ "When all else fails, hug the dog."
Bob ... your address was lost. CB@ HM or YH? Will try to snag from Harv's stuff. Deef is busy & exhausted. Imagine.... More later - y'all are Great!!!!... *How did Tony the Tiger say that? Well, convert it to cyber speak. The Grossed thread has been here for so many HeadBanging caregivers ... uh Mary & Lindas & Miz & Barb & ... don't let me start.
Victoria, that's great. I'm usually here off and on throughout the day on most days. I will look forward to getting to know you better. Most friends and family go "poof" once you start caregiving so you're in good company here. *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
cricket thanks. I plan to if for no other reason than I need new friends. Most of my other friends went *poof* since I started caregiving for my mom full-time lol.
Thanks all. I know I make more work for myself-but I am a little OCD about the college forms and the loans we take out-practically getting the amout we need to the penny! I do make him do what he needs to but some of it-I just had to do. Well, now it is done. Mom is napping-didn't go to daycare today cause it was just too much for me to get her ready and out etc and she never wants to go anyway... She had bad diahrea so I am just as glad she stayed home. Or am I? hahaha Anyway, thanks for letting me vent and for your understanding! I am going to take my dog and the neighbors for a quick walk in the back woods. Maybe that will get me out of this funk! I am glad I got that done... Tomorrow will be a better day...haha... Thanks Mame
"I'm not up to figuring out how to send private messages, etc so to whomever concerned, just letting you know that my mom is nearing the end, and I am just hopeing that she passes peacefully. love Susan"
Ahhh, there's so many stories and so many situations here. I've been on AC long enough to know to abbreviate "AC" and I know what "NH" is now, still learning the rest. I can recognize many names from previous posts, but I don't know you. I feel like I've come into a book half way through, but can't go back, because someone stole the pages. I wish you all well though and thanks for being you. Also, thank you all. I was almost afraid to come in today for fear of the reaction I might receive. It's a breath of fresh air to know that you not only understand, but also have had experiences similar to mine. For the most part, what happened the last couple respite days, I have let it go...for the most part. It just sucks that, over the last 3 years, I have actually gotten to the point where respite feels more like work than just kicking it at home with my mom. I dread respite day and I shouldn't. Those are truly the only 2 days I can get into town and get things I need without the distraction and frustration of dealing with my mom's "I want" condition. Trips with her are considered "fun days". I don't focus on anything but making sure she's enjoying herself. I have discovered the hard way that trying to shop for the house or my personal needs only adds to my stress and then neither of us are enjoying ourselves. I will shop for her personal needs though, that way when I turn to her with a box of babywipes I can say "these are for you!". She's always happy to get something, she hardly cares what it is.
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Bookworm, Cattails is right. Just keep on posting and so what if you're negative? You will be negative until you're positive. Just keep getting the negative out so the positive can get in. Just keep griping because good griping leads to change!
Just about everyone here has had a run of black hole days and I think just about everyone here has hosted a pity party for themselves at some point. Hey I just had my last pity party a few days ago and I have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. I'm still just in the aftermath.
Bookworm, you are deep in the trenches and if you don't speak up when you should you can hurt yourself so hey... holler out if you're happy or you're sad... we'll take you any way we can get you!
Victoriak, ya, I remember when that all was going on. I was referring to my poor mom drooling. She would drool, wipe her hand across her mouth, stare at her hand like it was the first time she had seen it (because to her it WAS the first time she had seen it) and then show it to me.
She did this probably 500 times a day. I got to the point where I would have to leave the room, but as we all know, you can't leave for long because then there will be 10 times the work to do if you are not right on top of it all constantly.
I don't even want to get started on the poop issues. Mom was pretty good in light of the many stories I have heard here. I will tell you that it all becomes about the poop. For me it was just easier to take her to the bathroom every ten minutes than let her go alone and get it everywhere and wind up with an UTI to boot. When I look back on the whole situation, the poop issues are what drove me to the brink because she didn't know if she had just gone or needed to go and as much as I loved her and I miss her boy oh boy I don't miss that stuff.
Austin! Or as some of us call her: Maxine! You are correct Madam, in that it is the love that goes around is what's the deal here. How's the new, ahem, friend situation coming along?? You closed the deal yet??
Sorry Maxine, I couldn't help myself. It always seems that what guys do: Inquire about personal relationships and then want to know if the deal has been closed.....
Meanwhile! I hear you about the heat! I won't get off the boat in the middle of the day. I used to live in the mountains and really miss it sometimes. Heat is a killer.
Love the statement about your sister who is very determined...
Cricket! You were wonderful on the Webcast! Thanks for being there and it looks like we're going to do it again this evening, 9pm in the East, and 6pm in the West and all are invited. There's emails going here and there with the particulars so those that want to can join in. It's still in the baby steps phase but hey... Vent and Live!
Cuz! Love to your sister, Diane and to your mom and Mike and of course to you. Thanks for the jokes and I'm happy you have a new air freshener.
Linda! Ya, that was a tough time for me for sure and I know that you were real sad as well. I just wished that when you guys went to the hotel with the hot tub you would have invited me! haha I so wanted to get off the boat and have some fun too. Please give my love to Helen and Debbie.
My heart goes out to ssk and many of us know what she is facing. Hope her mom passes peacefully and that ssk heals quickly.
Want to say hi and I love you to everyone but I have to get up and do some boat work for now. More later,
love you guys way more than you'll ever know,
lovbob
If you have friends who make you laugh,
spend lots of time with them,
constant complaints and negativity not allowed.
Last night the young dog killed a skunk, but not without consequences! So while I was at work, Sis got the baby shampoo, hydrogen peroxide, and baking soda out. The old dog didn't get sprayed, but Sis decided he could use a bath as well, but by the time she had finished with the young dog, the old guy was hiding in the dog house. She had to drag all 90 pounds of him out of the dog house. My sister doesn't weigh much more than that, but she can be very determined. Good night all, and take care. Love Meanwhile
The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.
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If you have friends who make you laugh,
spend lots of time with them.
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Tonight I attended a Webcast on Caregiving and was interviewed live. It was quite an encouraging experience. I even got to see another caregiver from here face to face! Ted and Diane were there also and shared their experiences and talked about caregiving. I think it's going to be an ongoing event and can't wait to do it again.
I hope everyone and their parents are safe and as well as can be expected tonight. Mame, Bookworm, Onlyme, and lildeb, you ladies hang in there and know that you aren't alone, my heart goes out to each one of you right now.
SSkape, my prayers are with you daily.
Love Cricket
Been a crappy day my back hurts from mil not even trying and falling because she takes alarm off so I saftey pinned it to her ..
Tommmrow starts the popcorn festival starts w the best parade ever & we are small town so you know everybody the ball team floats so, kids excited... MIL is going .
Hopefully hubby gets to go...
well said austin....
Poop here is same, though he knows it is his, he says it's no big deal....
He doesn't have to wipe it off the walls...does he?
bobbie - i knew something was wrong when i got on ur boat and i tell you im glad that lady is gone cuz i had bad vibes and it was pullin me down . spiritly was still lingering in the air and it wasnt a good one .... when i left i felt so much of the spirit came off my shoulders . and lord behold no wonder u were surounded by the bad spirits !! that woman is no good , she s into bad shit man !
i hope that spirit is gone long ago . i think it is cuz ure posting again whooo hoo !
she may be nice and fun to be with but spiritly its a bad one ... CHRISTINA am i right ? christina knows . shes so full of angels goods in her . i love her !
i love you so much bobbie and stay away for who makes u down . one day ill be back on ur boat lalala ....
king island was wonderful ! so glad i went , it perked me up and i been lalala since monday !!! wooo
daughter s going back to work this comin monday and shes got her hands full . so this mommy here is gonna help as much as i can . :-) .
ssk - xoxoxox
have a happy weds you all xoxo
As for poop-it will always be a sourse of discussion on this site won't it?? I am much better than I used to be but still gag every now and then...an mom always laughs!
Gonna be hot again here today-but cooling off the rest of the week! I am so excited to not be a sweat ball!
Yes, as you can tell, my mood is better today. Thanks everyone! Mame
Sis is a given. She will move back in December. She will free-load. We are already struggling with what little food we have (pampers, wipes, etc costs so much.) I really really try Not to think of it. I really hope she will be of help this time around. I've had a terrible temper when growing up. I've learned to control it. In order to do so, I have had to keep every anger inside me. One day, sis will push me too far, and I won't care if she's my elder. (We were raised to respect our elder.) I will end up telling her off and Ordering her what I want out of her...Or Else. Until that time, I keep peace. Yes, I know, it's no good to hold in your anger. That's why I'm here venting! hehehe!!
Well, no more sad thoughts, time to move on.. I have to change their pampers now, and the trache. With enough time, I still need to read the "Caregiver How Are U" and Lisa's thread. Thanks, cat and all!
Recently, you got your feelings hurt on AC. It was on another thread and apologies were made so I'm hoping that the experience of that situation is not keeping you from posting everyday, as many times each day as you can. Your stories and posts to others are insightful and encouraging. You make a positive difference in the lives of others.
I have so much respect for you. What you must accomplish everyday is unbelievable. I could not do what you do and I say that with all honesty. On the other hand, I think I have more options that you do, so I don't have to do what you do. So there is a difference, in my favor, between us. Please understand that the fact that I have more options than you only increases my respect for you and your ability to carry on. You rock!!!!
I can't begin to tell you how angry I get about your life. I think of you as a prisoner in this family compound. Didn't you just say recently that your older sister will be moving in with you? It didn't sound like you even had a say in that. Just another thing you must accept. I hope this sister will be of some value in taking care of your parents. Since she will be having a roof over her head, I would also hope that it is not your responsibility to pay her to take care of the parents while you are working.
I have no problem with your religion. I would only say that I hope it is a comfort to you. Nevertheless, you stated in your post that you are ready to get counseling. That is your decision to make and I do hope you make that choice.
You have spent your life going along with the responsibilities placed on you. I'm sure it is a combination of family and religion that has kept you working around the clock for so many years.
You are well trained in family values and your religious upbringing. Yet you intuitively know that what has been cast upon you is not right. In my very humble opinion this is God's voice speaking to you. You are a part of God and a part of humanity. Hold on to that and understand that when your soul speaks to you, it might be more meaningful than ideology. Follow you gut and you won't go wrong because this is how you hear God.
I've missed you posts, the frequency of them and all the things you had to tell about your day.
I know you describe yourself as a very literal person. Bless you, you have taken to heart good advise and put it to use. Don't forget that part of you is universal and tied to a greater awareness. Follow your gut and heart. It doesn't always have to be literal or black and white..
I am sending you love and hoping to see you back here and on various other threads. You are an amazing woman. Love and Hugs, Cattails.
Dad is definitely going to be the poopy stage. He keeps telling me over and over to quit treating him like a kid (when I give him advice like scratching the rash is going to make it worse, quit touching IN there, too much herbals is causing your body to break out in rashes, etc...) He has the nerve to look at the poop on the bed and ask, "What's that? How did it get there? I didn't do it!" And he says not to treat him like a child? (Which I Don't!)
This morning, I saw poop on waterproof pad and basically shut down. It was like...major depression descended. I dragged my feet to clean him. Because I did that, I was late. I left the house at 8:20am. I drove regularly (following the speed limit of 35mph) instead of trying to be Speedy Gonzalez with eyes all over looking out for cops while I try to push the speed limit of 43 mph. Uhm...cops tend to give you speeding tickets when you go 45 and up. Arrived work - 8:45...and the boss was there! I walked in and just said, "Good morning." Since he didn't bring up my tardiness, I decided that I will do the same. But that just set my day...a bit down...
As I read the other threads today, the thought keeps popping up that maybe it's time to seek therapy. I'm still so torn since therapy is a no-no with my religion. I will need to really think hard on this. Please All - do not come down on my religion here. I'm already feeling guilty for even being on this site!! It's a constant struggle within me: Being at AC vs Religious belief. An official of my religion very reluctantly mentioned to me that if therapy is needed, then I should see one. But I can read between the lines. It's still frowned upon but ...It's hard to overcome this when we were told over and over for Years that therapy is a No-No.
I only commented because Bobbie's comment a few pages back asking us to comment. Kind of felt bad that I haven't been posting. It's just I hate being so negative all the time...so I don't post.
Rugged road but your Grossed friends are here & on FB. Hi Kuli ~
"When all else fails, hug the dog."
Bob ... your address was lost. CB@ HM or YH?
Will try to snag from Harv's stuff.
Deef is busy & exhausted. Imagine....
More later - y'all are Great!!!!... *How did Tony the Tiger say that? Well, convert it to cyber speak. The Grossed thread has been here for so many HeadBanging caregivers ... uh Mary & Lindas & Miz & Barb & ...
don't let me start.
Cherish Indigo & Omaha
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Diane, thank you for letting us know about Susan
Sskape2 posted this on FB
"I'm not up to figuring out how to send private messages, etc so to whomever concerned, just letting you know that my mom is nearing the end, and I am just hopeing that she passes peacefully. love Susan"
Also, thank you all. I was almost afraid to come in today for fear of the reaction I might receive. It's a breath of fresh air to know that you not only understand, but also have had experiences similar to mine. For the most part, what happened the last couple respite days, I have let it go...for the most part. It just sucks that, over the last 3 years, I have actually gotten to the point where respite feels more like work than just kicking it at home with my mom. I dread respite day and I shouldn't. Those are truly the only 2 days I can get into town and get things I need without the distraction and frustration of dealing with my mom's "I want" condition. Trips with her are considered "fun days". I don't focus on anything but making sure she's enjoying herself. I have discovered the hard way that trying to shop for the house or my personal needs only adds to my stress and then neither of us are enjoying ourselves. I will shop for her personal needs though, that way when I turn to her with a box of babywipes I can say "these are for you!". She's always happy to get something, she hardly cares what it is.