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bobbie I read that before but loved it and read it again It really makes you think,....& What you posted about demented I think anyone taking care of AD people should read that & remb. it. Thank you Bobbie you have helped me & my MIL I just keep her safe & try my best but I was stressing out way to much on somethings and it helps to hear from all of you.....IT IS what it is & might be different tom. Hope you move to a nice sunny spot & I will THINK OF THE boat.. Diane I hope you are feeling good & got you some real cofee this morning you better keep that bf of yours he seems like he is alot of help... SS hope you got a pretty beach towel & some yummy tomatoes.... cricket glad to hear about your dieb. going down .... woo hoo bookworm take lildeb advice..sounds good & lildeb I been over to alz.org just to read when Im not on AC I of corse just check in on facebook but Im adictited to Pinterest I told my hubby its like Im a lil girl circling what I want on JC Penney catalog lol Cattails are you ready for Amandas wedding yet Its this month right... OH I bet she is happy.... I know you are...Hope you all have a great weekend..Love you all jen, Cuz, linda & VictoriA, Judy, babyoubaby, and sweet austin hope everyone of you are blessed and have a wonderful weekend....Onlyme Stick around you will get advice you need.. I feel that is so unfair like My MIL came here she didnt have a home anyway but alot of times kids give up everyything and then at the end them damn siblings come out of nowhere with there hands out.....NOT FAIR!!! Keep venting onlyme Trust me I just found AC when MIL came here in Oct. & Dont know what I would do without AC My new friends...
I don't have any good suggestions but my cuz, Harv, sent us this awhile back because some of us don't have anyone to look to for help either:
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating, air conditioning and all the health care you need! And because of your age, you even get different living arrangements than the general population so you'll be safe. Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart? They're all covered. As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now. And who will be paying for all of this? It's the same government that just told you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home. Plus, and because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore. Is this a great country or what?
OK, I know that doesn't help for real but maybe it made you smile?
Just another reason that we have a long way to go as far as making sure that caregivers don't lose their future because they made a decision to help their parents.
Cricket I think your advice is right on-it is not easy to move your thoughts to other things when you are so upset and in the back hole but sometimes when you force your mind to go elswere for a while some things may come to you to help what ever is troubling you. I found ifI could make one very small change for example not responding everytime he bellowed for help-pertended I did not hear him-the sky did not fall with him being alone for 20 min. then I felt so good that I could take another baby step and I did get stronger and able to cope better-it is not easy but doable.
Onlyme, My heart goes out to you! I have no experience in this area so the only thing that comes to my mind is that I hope others here have some really good advice for you. The one thing I do know is that you need to take action sooner rather than later. Is this something that you can talk with your Mother about, or is her mental state to far gone? You are smart bringing this concern up here. I know there are solutions or at least directions for you here from others. So don't give up.
What will help you on an emotional level right now is to stop "terrorizing" yourself with your fear thoughts of "what if" it's okay to be concerned but if it's all you are focused on all the time then the worry becomes dread and that dread can totally make you feel helpless, anxious and depressed. So continue to ask for help but whenever you start to think about it over and over to where you get that pain in the pit of your stomach from fear, force yourself to think about something else that really made you feel good, visualize it, remember the good feelings and this will help calm you. Emotion control is life saving too. Love to you girlfriend! *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
What will happen to all of us caregivers ? I am so afraid, I gave up everything to make it better for my folks, but when they are gone, the house and everything is to be split between siblings. Is that fair ? I don't want to have to sell off everything and split the cash with siblings. I will be homeless, and old. It has been so painful living here without my dad, I can't imagine what I'll be like when my mom passes and I am forced to sell all their belongings and the family house of fifty years. What was I thinking? I was just doing what needed doing, and not worrying about myself or my future. Advice?
Bookworm, I would let sis know just how you feel and tell her just what u said, "Caregiving is very exhausting, and every help counts and expenses are high. We can't afford nor need slackers." Maybe that will wake her up n I wouldn't give any more $ than what you told her until or if she helps on other things. Cricket, that is awesome news about your diabetes n getting the meds reduced. I bet you feel a lot better too. I have been going onto the alz.org post as well learning new things n meeting other people. It is not as easy to find your post like it is here n you do have to watch what u type as of certain words for they will delete the post n that is understandable. It just another place to be able to visit while stuck at the house with the mil. Mame, Mil as not been diagnosed yet with a bladder infection but from past experience i am pretty sure she has it. she don't complain though when i ask her questions n I have got her drinking more water too. I am just shocked that the clinic hasn't called about her results n prescribed something at r pharmacy? Being she is not complaining, I guess we will find out on her appt on 15th.
I have to go to my yearly check-up for heart dr next week and diabetic specialist n that is going to be fun for my b/s having been like a rollar coaster for past two months n my fault not handling my health better. I was in one of those bad depressed moods this AM. I didn't get out the front porch quick enough to listen to the birds sing with my coffee n I just sat at the table like a dumb-ass n wander why I continue to take all these freaking 12 pills in AM n 6 PM n the insulin shots just to stay alive. How come I couldn't been normal like other folks? I know I am thankful n blessed to be able to live to see age 40 and now at age 47. I know if I don't take care of the mil then who will, Hubby? Ha, that's a joke! I know that the boys have my dad living with my aunt n her husband temporarily, the same ones that got thrown off the property by the sm. Bless their heart for my dad has a great sister. I wander if the bro's r going to leave all the responsibiltiy on my aunt to take care of dad. We all know how someone get chose to be the caregiver and usually that it is it for you r the carefiver forever. She has already taking care of her own mom with AD and this is not fair if they do leave it on her. Temp is fine but I don't hear any future plans. Supposely my dad had that cognitive test but we haven't heard anything. I thought about bringing him up here but then their is the sm n I cannot handle two people with AD yet, that sounds like a cop-out for he is my dad.That bothers me a lot. For now the sm is still in the rehab n she is getting in a wheel chair with help but she talks out of her head sometimes. I think the sun has really fried some of her brain cells. I finally got out of that depressing rut around noonish by cutting our yard n hubby actually helped too. I still have this sinus crap going on too. Yet, it is only stuff up nose at night n little tight feeling in chest where I guess it is trying to break up n snorting like a pig from the allergies. Cutting the grass probable didn't help either. At least I am not sneezing with water eye n itchy ears anymore. Oh, we do have an appointment set-up for next wk also with an elderly law attorney to make sure we got r financial stuff in order. Enough of me rambling like idiot. I hope everyone is able to get a restful night sleep.
SS I am sorry the placement has made your dad so mad. I imagine he is resentful, old, angry, fed up, now in a nursing home setting, but his resentment is Not your responsibility. You want him to be safe and looked after and get the best care possible. He may not see that but it is true. Not sure there is anything to do, visit, make him as comfortable as possible and know you are doing your best.
SS it was great you met your friend at just the right time to give her support as she starts this hard journey-as time goes on she will need your expertise more and more -that is a great gift to give to someone-it may make all the difference in the world to her and someday she will be able to pay it forward.
Bobbie, Cricket, everyone. Luv u tons. Bobbie, thank you for taking the time to respond so very honestly and thoughtfully. It made me cry. Crying is good. Since I posted this morning, I saw a friend, in a store, that I haven't seen in three years. One thing lead to another and discovered she is in the beginning stages of being a caregiver . Oh , Lordy!!! I told her every family has a different story. Every circumstance is different. Don't spend time hating on those siblings that don't help, they never will. And just know ,that in the end, you will have no regrets. I also told her how I helped my Mom "help herself" and when I realized dad could no longer live in the community. These are horrible, wicked decisions that some of us, (not all of you), have to make. Like I said, every situation is different. But if I can help one person, like you ALL have helped me, then I'm a better person for it.
SS and Diane, I'm glad to hear you are both doing better. The black hole unfortunately is where we all find ourselves from time to time but it's not the place any of us want to hang out. xoxo
Meanwhile, sorry to hear Indigo is having difficulties. If caregiving for another loved one is placed on your path then only you can decide your course. Either way you know you are home with us and we are here for you. xoxo
Captain Bobbie, Our Reverend Bobbie, you will be coming further south? Yeehaw! How far south? I hope that means that you will be closer to me. If so, it will be nice to have a quick getaway for both of us. xo
Cat, I just want you to know how much I really appreciate the love you show to everyone here... and yes you do ask a lot of questions but your motives for doing so are very clear to me. Sometimes people are so buried in their own pain that it's hard for them to vent and share and for them it's great to have someone like you drawing them out and then really being able to offer suggestions. Not everyone needs this but it's good that you are here for the ones that do. xoxo
Crew, have a nice day today... oh and for some laughs go check out the Caregiver Olympics thread.. my post there was lame, lol it was 2am when I posted but there are some really funny posts! Love you all. *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
For those that read that definition part about a day or so ago please forgive. This disease is making more and more people crazy on a minute to minute basis. lovbob
Hey SS, Good to see you and when you are feeling like you are, this is when you should come here and spend some time with like minded individuals. So don't think you have to be anything but what you are feeling at the moment. Glad you are Venting and Living.
Think this over as you come to terms with your relationship with your dad. Somethings we cannot change and remember that Serenity Prayer? ...and the wisdom to know the difference.
All you can do is make him comfortable and keep him safe and you have. It's ok and here's why:
your dad is Demented.
de·ment·ed/diˈmentid/
Adjective:
Suffering from dementia. Driven to behave irrationally due to anger, distress, or excitement.
Synonyms: mad - crazy - insane - lunatic - daft.
Read the above as many times as it takes for you to understand that this has nothing to do with you and nothing to do with what you are doing to make your dad safe and what you are doing to try to make him happy.
Make YOU happy while you are dealing with this. You're in front of a disease that will never make sense except for the guarantee that it will never make sense.
Love you SS and thinkoftheboat. love you guys. lovbob
Diane, Thanks for chiming in! Hey,...... I was in a black hole too! What-do-ya know!! I didn't see you there!! LOL And I too, think it has past for now. Whew....
Hi Y'all, It's Saturday morning and all is quiet in SC......for now :)
I went to make myself a cup of coffee and damn, I'm out. My b/f made me a cup of instant which isn't quite the same, but the intention is sweet. Something is blowing in the air that has my asthma stirred up so I'm hacking away. I'm just basking in my quiet time right now. I should get my ass up and go into the office and work on some itineraries. Amazingly my brother stayed with mom for a little last night so I could get my grocery shopping done. I'm not sure if mom talked to him much or slept, but at least it made him spend more than 15 minutes with her. He doesn't realize these quick visits that I call his 15 minutes of absolution really throw her off. Also, somewhere inside, she comprehends that he isn't spending time with her. She makes comments to the two young women that are her caregivers while I am at work. I'm happy to say that I'm in a better mental state than I was last Friday. It's amazing what a little sleep can do for you! I think my latest blackhole episode was mostly due to lack of sleep. Thank you all for your love and support. You have no idea how much you all keep me going.
Let me see if I can get my but in gear and try get something accomplished today. Have a good day all!
Austin- thank u so much for checking in. I appreciate it. Yeah, I did stay away and then I felt guilty cause I'm all he has, me and Mom that is. So my siblings haven't seen him in over 2 years and they don't feel guilty!! Just shows how different people can be. Anyway, Dad's nasty to Mom, too, when I bring her over to the NH. So sad after 58 years of marriage, right? ....but today is a beautiful day. I'm going to go buy more beach towels and hit up our local Farmer's market for some fresh tomatoes.
SS I am so sorry about your Dad-maybe you should just not go and see him very often-that is what I learned to do with the husband but his mind was sharp and just enjoyed being mean to me-I would stay away for days and if I got a nasty call from him on the answermaching I woule add a day or two of not going--and I am so glad you Mom is doing better-it is probably a relief for her not to have to deal with him.
Hi all! Sorry I have been missing. Sometimes I just can't deal so I stay away. Dad (in NH), has been particularly horrible. Demanding he go home. He's been there 7 months. They told me takes people about 90 days to come to terms with the fact that they are long term . Not him! And I get it. I mean, who would really want to acknowledge that. We have no choice. No money for a caregiver and, my 84 year old mother can't handle him plus they rent from year to year and they have no permanent housing plan. He can't walk or care for himself personally...blah blah blah.....Anyway, I get so tired of going to see him and all I hear is complaining and nasty comments about the nurses and the doctors. He calls them nasty names to their face! All his inhibition is gone. I'm told that is a dementia thing. And every time I say, "Dad, I told have any alternatives," he said "Bullshit." So frustrating. So yesterday, I go see him and he's all happy but now he's talking in riddles. Says he's going to get a job and drive a car again.....what? He goes from the present to the past in seconds, all confused, and I just nod and say "Ok". This is a new thing. Trying to learn how to deal with this. No word from either sibling going on 2.5 years now. Wow, they still suck....who knew? I love these other threads that ask "How do I get my siblings to help?" FORGET IT!!! NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN...just let it go.....
My mom, on the other hand, has recently been doing a really great job of being independent. I'm so proud of her.I set up town services to take her here and there and they help her do her errands and go to local doctor appointments and then I fill in when she needs me to. Used to be the other way around. So that has been a big help.
G'morning. Meanwhile-so sorry about Indio. Hang in there! My sister wants to go horseback riding one time this summer. We just trail ride but I love to be on a horse...made me think of yours! Cuz-that is really beautiful...but I have to admit-I was waiting for the punchline! Seriously tho-I read it to my son and husband...loved it! Hello Lillyvalley! And to everyone else. Gonna be a hot weekend here! Ugh! Wish I had some water to wade in!! Mame
Just got back from taking Indio to the eye doctor. We stayed overnight at his sister's house, At 2 in the morning he had an insulin reaction. His sister didn't know what to do. There was no soda, or juice in the house. I finally found a can of pineapple in her pantry. Indio has had diabetes for 20 years, and it is getting worse. I don't want to take care of someone else, but I care so much for him, I have to try. Tim, everyone handles loss in their own way. People talked me into going to a grief support group, and it was horrible for me. Couldn't stand to go back after the 1st meeting.(cartoons worked better for me). Your a wonderful, caring person, I know Laura was better off for you coming into her life. You do what you need to do. The group will be here for you. Jen, glad to hear your mending. You go girl. Cuz, loved the jokes. Bobbi, thanks for starting this group, you saved my life. Hope everyone has a good weekend. Love to all
I sent this to the ones on this site that I have e-mail addresses and wanted to add it to everyone on this site. I thought it was a very good explaination and I hope it will be the answer to many of your thoughts and questions. lovCuz
~DEATH~ WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO EXPLAIN IT
A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to Leave the examination room and said, 'Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side..' Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know..' 'You don't know? You're, a Christian man, and don't know what's on the other side?' The doctor was holding the handle of the door; On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, 'Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside.. He knew nothing except that his master was here, And when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, But I do know one thing...
I know my Master is there and that is enough.'
(sorry - cannot break this) May today there be peace within you.
Hi Bobby: Does your new Fall location give you any weather benefits? Protection from storms or not so much heat. It it's South of your location, maybe hotter? What prompted you to relocate? Is this temporary or permanent? Just thinking of you and the boat and wondering. Love, Cat
Jen!! that is great news! A very exciting thing indeed.
Mame, thanks. You are so thoughtful. Austin how's it going up there? Cuz! love to J and Diane and your mom and everyone. How is Diane Doing. What a major thing to go through and she is so strong. Good support system in place, yay!
Cricket it really is amazing what we can do. I really admire your strength and determination. Good Stuff! Congrats on making that difference for you.
Thanks for coming by lillyvalley and I hope you stick around. Vent and Live.
Really looking forward to seeing Jen's play produced.
Got Tim and Laura in my thoughts. Anyone heard anything? Tough tough and sad sad.
Love ya meanwhile
love ya Everybody and I hope all are doing as well as possible.
Boat will be available for boat time in the Fall and will be south of where it is now.
"Wade in next time...." Hmmnn mebyee...just fall over, not jump perhaps... Got notice of play entry and fee from one of submission theatres..so onward.... Watching Olympics Go Gabby!!!
Cricket -good for you-it is hard to reverse diabetis-my husband did not try very hard and that is one reason he died at 71. I am very proud of you for your hard work-it will make such a difference in your health in the years to come.
Kelley Bean, Bobbie 321, Pamela 6148, Nancy H and mizunderstood10 We find comfort here, we laugh with each other and we sometimes cry with each other and most of the times we feel each other 's pain.vThank God for agingcare.com.
Part of my post is missing! Bobbie-you are a wealth of knowledge and I thank you for sticking with this site and helping us all out and advocating for us! Love ya! Mame
Hi everyone! Been an insane week here and have had no time to write. Mom had her tooth extraction yesterday and it went better than I expected. Today is a little different-more of what I expected yesterday...feeling dizzy and sleeping a lot. She was kinda high on it all yesterday-she was really anxious about it-so today is her down day I guess. I am glad that is over.
Tim-I am soooo sorry for all you are going through. My heart goes out to you!
Welcome Onlyme. Can definitely feel your pain here! As you have learned-we are all going through it... Welcome Bayoubaby too!
Jen-glad you are getting back up on your feet! Wade in the water next time ok?!
Cricket-so happy about the diabetes reverse! That is one of the reasons I am doing WW-cause I am afraid I am getting close to having it...want to keep it away! Bookworm-so sorry the sibling is slacking off. Amazing how they can be isn't it? I will never get it and have thankfully given up trying. Diane-keep up the good fight girl! I hope you can get some sleep and relief. Keep us posted! Cuz-loved the jokes! Was gonna post one my hubby sent me but I thought it was a little too off color and I would get banned! Lildeb-hope mil bladder infec is gone quickly! Austin-felt such pain for you reading about how hubby was when he died. I am sooo sorry. Cat-any luck with the WW website? Hey to Tbailey, Judy, Victoria and Linda. If I missed anyone-I am sorry! Hope you can all have a moment of peace this weekend! Check out the full moon! Love, Mame
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Diane I hope you are feeling good & got you some real cofee this morning you better keep that bf of yours he seems like he is alot of help...
SS hope you got a pretty beach towel & some yummy tomatoes....
cricket glad to hear about your dieb. going down .... woo hoo
bookworm take lildeb advice..sounds good & lildeb I been over to alz.org just to read when Im not on AC I of corse just check in on facebook but Im adictited to Pinterest I told my hubby its like Im a lil girl circling what I want on JC Penney catalog lol
Cattails are you ready for Amandas wedding yet Its this month right... OH I bet she is happy.... I know you are...Hope you all have a great weekend..Love you all
jen, Cuz, linda & VictoriA, Judy, babyoubaby, and sweet austin hope everyone of you are blessed and have a wonderful weekend....Onlyme Stick around you will get advice you need.. I feel that is so unfair like My MIL came here she didnt have a home anyway but alot of times kids give up everyything and then at the end them damn siblings come out of nowhere with there hands out.....NOT FAIR!!! Keep venting onlyme Trust me I just found AC when MIL came here in Oct. & Dont know what I would do without AC My new friends...
I don't have any good suggestions but my cuz, Harv, sent us this awhile back because some of us don't have anyone to look to for help either:
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you.
So what do you do?
Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians.
Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get three meals a day,
a roof over your head, central heating, air conditioning and all the health care you need!
And because of your age, you even get different living arrangements
than the general population so you'll be safe.
Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great.
Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart? They're all covered.
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now.
And who will be paying for all of this? It's the same government that just told you
that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.
Plus, and because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore.
Is this a great country or what?
OK, I know that doesn't help for real but maybe it made you smile?
Just another reason that we have a long way to go as far as making sure that caregivers don't lose their future because they made a decision to help their parents.
lovbob
What will help you on an emotional level right now is to stop "terrorizing" yourself with your fear thoughts of "what if" it's okay to be concerned but if it's all you are focused on all the time then the worry becomes dread and that dread can totally make you feel helpless, anxious and depressed. So continue to ask for help but whenever you start to think about it over and over to where you get that pain in the pit of your stomach from fear, force yourself to think about something else that really made you feel good, visualize it, remember the good feelings and this will help calm you. Emotion control is life saving too. Love to you girlfriend!
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Cricket, that is awesome news about your diabetes n getting the meds reduced. I bet you feel a lot better too.
I have been going onto the alz.org post as well learning new things n meeting other people. It is not as easy to find your post like it is here n you do have to watch what u type as of certain words for they will delete the post n that is understandable. It just another place to be able to visit while stuck at the house with the mil.
Mame, Mil as not been diagnosed yet with a bladder infection but from past experience i am pretty sure she has it. she don't complain though when i ask her questions n I have got her drinking more water too. I am just shocked that the clinic hasn't called about her results n prescribed something at r pharmacy? Being she is not complaining, I guess we will find out on her appt on 15th.
I have to go to my yearly check-up for heart dr next week and diabetic specialist n that is going to be fun for my b/s having been like a rollar coaster for past two months n my fault not handling my health better. I was in one of those bad depressed moods this AM. I didn't get out the front porch quick enough to listen to the birds sing with my coffee n I just sat at the table like a dumb-ass n wander why I continue to take all these freaking 12 pills in AM n 6 PM n the insulin shots just to stay alive. How come I couldn't been normal like other folks? I know I am thankful n blessed to be able to live to see age 40 and now at age 47. I know if I don't take care of the mil then who will, Hubby? Ha, that's a joke! I know that the boys have my dad living with my aunt n her husband temporarily, the same ones that got thrown off the property by the sm. Bless their heart for my dad has a great sister. I wander if the bro's r going to leave all the responsibiltiy on my aunt to take care of dad. We all know how someone get chose to be the caregiver and usually that it is it for you r the carefiver forever. She has already taking care of her own mom with AD and this is not fair if they do leave it on her. Temp is fine but I don't hear any future plans. Supposely my dad had that cognitive test but we haven't heard anything. I thought about bringing him up here but then their is the sm n I cannot handle two people with AD yet, that sounds like a cop-out for he is my dad.That bothers me a lot. For now the sm is still in the rehab n she is getting in a wheel chair with help but she talks out of her head sometimes. I think the sun has really fried some of her brain cells. I finally got out of that depressing rut around noonish by cutting our yard n hubby actually helped too. I still have this sinus crap going on too. Yet, it is only stuff up nose at night n little tight feeling in chest where I guess it is trying to break up n snorting like a pig from the allergies. Cutting the grass probable didn't help either. At least I am not sneezing with water eye n itchy ears anymore. Oh, we do have an appointment set-up for next wk also with an elderly law attorney to make sure we got r financial stuff in order. Enough of me rambling like idiot. I hope everyone is able to get a restful night sleep.
xo
-SS
SS and Diane, I'm glad to hear you are both doing better. The black hole unfortunately is where we all find ourselves from time to time but it's not the place any of us want to hang out. xoxo
Meanwhile, sorry to hear Indigo is having difficulties. If caregiving for another loved one is placed on your path then only you can decide your course. Either way you know you are home with us and we are here for you. xoxo
Captain Bobbie, Our Reverend Bobbie, you will be coming further south? Yeehaw! How far south? I hope that means that you will be closer to me. If so, it will be nice to have a quick getaway for both of us. xo
Cat, I just want you to know how much I really appreciate the love you show to everyone here... and yes you do ask a lot of questions but your motives for doing so are very clear to me. Sometimes people are so buried in their own pain that it's hard for them to vent and share and for them it's great to have someone like you drawing them out and then really being able to offer suggestions. Not everyone needs this but it's good that you are here for the ones that do. xoxo
Crew, have a nice day today... oh and for some laughs go check out the Caregiver Olympics thread.. my post there was lame, lol it was 2am when I posted but there are some really funny posts! Love you all.
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
lovbob
Good to see you and when you are feeling like you are, this is when you should come here and spend some time with like minded individuals. So don't think you have to be anything but what you are feeling at the moment. Glad you are Venting and Living.
Think this over as you come to terms with your relationship with your dad. Somethings we cannot change and remember that Serenity Prayer?
...and the wisdom to know the difference.
All you can do is make him comfortable and keep him safe and you have. It's ok and here's why:
your dad is Demented.
de·ment·ed/diˈmentid/
Adjective:
Suffering from dementia.
Driven to behave irrationally due to anger, distress, or excitement.
Synonyms:
mad - crazy - insane - lunatic - daft.
Read the above as many times as it takes for you to understand that this has nothing to do with you and nothing to do with what you are doing to make your dad safe and what you are doing to try to make him happy.
Make YOU happy while you are dealing with this. You're in front of a disease that will never make sense except for the guarantee that it will never make sense.
Love you SS and thinkoftheboat.
love you guys.
lovbob
Thanks for chiming in! Hey,...... I was in a black hole too! What-do-ya know!! I didn't see you there!! LOL And I too, think it has past for now. Whew....
xo
-SS
It's Saturday morning and all is quiet in SC......for now :)
I went to make myself a cup of coffee and damn, I'm out. My b/f made me a cup of instant which isn't quite the same, but the intention is sweet. Something is blowing in the air that has my asthma stirred up so I'm hacking away. I'm just basking in my quiet time right now. I should get my ass up and go into the office and work on some itineraries.
Amazingly my brother stayed with mom for a little last night so I could get my grocery shopping done. I'm not sure if mom talked to him much or slept, but at least it made him spend more than 15 minutes with her. He doesn't realize these quick visits that I call his 15 minutes of absolution really throw her off. Also, somewhere inside, she comprehends that he isn't spending time with her. She makes comments to the two young women that are her caregivers while I am at work.
I'm happy to say that I'm in a better mental state than I was last Friday. It's amazing what a little sleep can do for you! I think my latest blackhole episode was mostly due to lack of sleep. Thank you all for your love and support. You have no idea how much you all keep me going.
Let me see if I can get my but in gear and try get something accomplished today. Have a good day all!
Love ya,
Diane
Enjoy the day and love to all!
-SS
My mom, on the other hand, has recently been doing a really great job of being independent. I'm so proud of her.I set up town services to take her here and there and they help her do her errands and go to local doctor appointments and then I fill in when she needs me to. Used to be the other way around. So that has been a big help.
Luv to all - enjoy the weekend.
xo - SS
Cuz-that is really beautiful...but I have to admit-I was waiting for the punchline! Seriously tho-I read it to my son and husband...loved it!
Hello Lillyvalley! And to everyone else. Gonna be a hot weekend here! Ugh! Wish I had some water to wade in!! Mame
Tim, everyone handles loss in their own way. People talked me into going to a grief support group, and it was horrible for me. Couldn't stand to go back after the 1st meeting.(cartoons worked better for me). Your a wonderful, caring person, I know Laura was better off for you coming into her life. You do what you need to do. The group will be here for you.
Jen, glad to hear your mending. You go girl.
Cuz, loved the jokes.
Bobbi, thanks for starting this group, you saved my life.
Hope everyone has a good weekend. Love to all
lovCuz
~DEATH~
WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO EXPLAIN IT
A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to
Leave the examination room and said,
'Doctor, I am afraid to die.
Tell me what lies on the other side..'
Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know..'
'You don't know? You're, a Christian man,
and don't know what's on the other side?'
The doctor was holding the handle of the door;
On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining,
And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room
And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said,
'Did you notice my dog?
He's never been in this room before.
He didn't know what was inside..
He knew nothing except that his master was here,
And when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.
I know little of what is on the other side of death,
But I do know one thing...
I know my Master is there and that is enough.'
(sorry - cannot break this)
May today there be peace within you.
May you trust God that you are exactly
Where you are meant to be..
I believe that friends are quiet angels
Who lift us to our feet when our wings
Have trouble remembering how to fly.
Just pass this on...
Thank you!!!
Jen!! that is great news! A very exciting thing indeed.
Mame, thanks. You are so thoughtful.
Austin how's it going up there?
Cuz! love to J and Diane and your mom and everyone. How is Diane Doing. What a major thing to go through and she is so strong. Good support system in place, yay!
Cricket it really is amazing what we can do. I really admire your strength and determination. Good Stuff! Congrats on making that difference for you.
Thanks for coming by lillyvalley and I hope you stick around. Vent and Live.
Really looking forward to seeing Jen's play produced.
Got Tim and Laura in my thoughts. Anyone heard anything? Tough tough and sad sad.
Love ya meanwhile
love ya Everybody and I hope all are doing as well as possible.
Boat will be available for boat time in the Fall and will be south of where it is now.
lovbob
Got notice of play entry and fee from one of submission theatres..so onward....
Watching Olympics
Go Gabby!!!
and most of the times we feel each other 's pain.vThank God for agingcare.com.
Been an insane week here and have had no time to write. Mom had her tooth extraction yesterday and it went better than I expected. Today is a little different-more of what I expected yesterday...feeling dizzy and sleeping a lot. She was kinda high on it all yesterday-she was really anxious about it-so today is her down day I guess. I am glad that is over.
Tim-I am soooo sorry for all you are going through. My heart goes out to you!
Welcome Onlyme. Can definitely feel your pain here! As you have learned-we are all going through it... Welcome Bayoubaby too!
Jen-glad you are getting back up on your feet! Wade in the water next time ok?!
Cricket-so happy about the diabetes reverse! That is one of the reasons I am doing WW-cause I am afraid I am getting close to having it...want to keep it away!
Bookworm-so sorry the sibling is slacking off. Amazing how they can be isn't it? I will never get it and have thankfully given up trying.
Diane-keep up the good fight girl! I hope you can get some sleep and relief. Keep us posted!
Cuz-loved the jokes! Was gonna post one my hubby sent me but I thought it was a little too off color and I would get banned!
Lildeb-hope mil bladder infec is gone quickly!
Austin-felt such pain for you reading about how hubby was when he died. I am sooo sorry.
Cat-any luck with the WW website?
Hey to Tbailey, Judy, Victoria and Linda. If I missed anyone-I am sorry! Hope you can all have a moment of peace this weekend! Check out the full moon!
Love, Mame