Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Flex!! Don't give up! Yet! make a plan Stan and then give up. You know your siblings are worthless. There's a lady here at the yard who is going through the same crap sibling wise and she, like Deef, has just given up thinking about or expecting anything from them. This lady won't even call them with updates but keeps a log of everything going on and kept a log for all the times she left messages for brother or sister with what was going on and the fact that she got no return call. You consciously have to make the choice to not think of them because all it does is make YOU upset and YOU are the one who matters here because if YOU don't function, nothing functions. Sux but true. Love ya Flex.
Ted's brother told him to go live in a homeless shelter after their mom died and so I guess Ted's brother thought Ted was finished 'sponging off of mom' because she died. Insane, criminal and sinister. So there he is without any money or a home and his brother and sister are tying up the probate/estate process because they are insane, criminal and sinister. ICS What he went through was insane just like what you are going through. Unbelievable but it's happening this very second as I write this and as you read it. Someone's brother or sister is taking advantage of someone's brother or sister while someone's mom or dad is off the hook. ICS
tbailey: Sorry to hear about your mil's falls. Maybe future hair cuts, etc., should be done at your home.
My weekend was not restful. My husband worked on the greenhouse and needs to use his air compressor for nailing. This sends Marcus (dog) nuts. He's all clingy and whining to me. Spent most of the weekend in the house with him and was about ready for to give him a lobotomy by the end of Sunday. Good news is the exterior of the greenhouse is now finished. YEAH!!!!!!!! It's only taken us a year, but it's done.
Diane: You just vent all you want. I wish I could take my trusty 2x4 to Seattle and pay your ignorant sister a visit. I agree with tbailey. Please call those people at the agency back and tell them that you are not able to continue doing everything and you need help. We all realize how competent you are in caring for your mom, but you have to go to work and you have to get some sleep.
If it makes you feel any better, I am disgusted with your sibs. Your sister is one for the books and some day Karma will pay her a call. Your brother has his own set of problems and can't even seem to manage his own life. Nevertheless, that's no excuse for not lending a hand more often.
Some day soon, Diane, things will change for the better. Please believe that and do what you have to do now to get all the help you can. Call that agency back and get a letter from your doc. You have to do these things. It's part of taking care of yourself. It may not change anything, but it might change everything. Pull yourself out of that hole, even if it's just for a few hours, and kick some butt.
Maybe you need to talk to your mom's doc about this constant going on of hers. Not suggesting Ativan, but something that would calm her. Do I remember correctly that he didn't want to use the Paxil for the antidepressant? Maybe you could ask him to reconsider because she is clearly dealing with anxiety and the day and night calling for this and that is taking it's toll on you. The doc should be willing to listen to you and realize that making a simple change in her antidepressant is worth a try.
I'm sorry for the rant. I just feel pissed that people let you down. You are an amazing person and I have tremendous respect for you. Look how much you have accomplished in the past few months. I hate to nag you, but try to get back on that horse and ride.
Next time you vent, I promise I will not get on a rant. I am sending you tons of love and white light. Buckets of hugs to you my dear friend. Cattails
Diane You have came so far in such short time & take cats advice you know get them people back on phone and ask them to come back out & see if they cant revaluate the situation this time don't get ready for them like someone suggested. My MIL same way she yells my name soooo many times it is crazy hers is pain pill , water, day, time , whats to eat..on & on......Started putting alarm back on her & she is pissed but after I updated yesterday I put her gown on this am & while she was with SIL yesterday she fell 3 times has bruise on both knees and back is huge and her side.... I txt sil Like did Granny fall yesterday? She replied Oh thought I told you Yea about 3x WOW... Only me welcome .... Well Cattails hope u & hubby had a nice quiet weekend... DR...??? wonder what kind...lol
I know I'm in a crappy frame of mind today, but if you would bear with me I just need to blow off some steam. Mom is having one of her very needy days and the same day I can bearly get myself out of bed. She wants something every freakin minute. I'm cold, I'm hot, i need a snack, put the throw over me, I need to go to the bathroom...and on and on. As Murphys Law would have it the doctor called back while I was taking mom to the bathroom. I get her to the bathroom and then back in her chair and call his office. Mom keeps saying Diane, DIane, Diane, Diane over and over again louder each time. She will not give me one freakin second! The problem that needed urgent attention? I'm cold. I'm tired and I'm fed up of having to be the only one to be responsible for mom. My dumb ass brother isn't working but her can't "cope" with mom. The dumbass sister in Seattle is holier than thou and treats me like a f'n criminal saying I'm freeloading off of mom. I truly hate them!!!! I'm siting here trying to figure out how to pay the bills and buy mom's meds for this week. I'm just f'n tired of this all. What is the use of fighting every day. I just want to give up!
Thank you cattails, I'll definitely be checking in with all of you, as this really helps me not only to vent, but kind of puts things in perspective for me. I suppose things could be much worse. Lol. Love you for the support. See you guys later, i'll be thinkingabouttheboat and looking for something to smile/laugh about.
tbailey: I am still LMAO about your sil and mil. Yes, now that is Karma!!! I'll be smiling about that all day.
Diane: Have you gotten over the hurdles (brother) with submitting Medicaid app. I'l be so relieved when you can get some help. I'm glad you are going to the psychiatrist. Think about getting a letter from him regarding the program than turned you down with help for your mom. Those people need a wake up call and you need some sleep.
Onlyme: I guess I've been here close to a year. Took care of my folks for 7 years. My mom has passed and my dad had a major stroke 13 months ago. He then lived with us and needed 24/7 care. Really couldn't do anything but feed himself at the table. We placed my dad in nursing home care a few weeks ago. It was a hard decision, but we needed to do it for our sake. He is getting good care and is only 10 minutes from us. We are experiencing moments of freedom now that had forgotten existed.
I love all the people on this thread. They are loving, supportive and funny. They carry heavy loads on their shoulders and share from the heart. I think you will fit right in and hope you stick around.
Judy: Did you have anything to do with the Doc's disappearance? Sending you another block of cheese and much appreciation. Another one bites the dust, hey hey. Glad you remembered Fangs dentist appointment. Be sure to tell us how it went.
Ok, I've put a call into my psychiatrist since I'm sinking further in the blackhole. I'm not suicidal, just don't want to get out of bed. Mom is waking me up for silly things these days. One night she woke me up to ask if I wanted a sandwich. Another night she wanted to know where everyone was. I know she can't help it and I've been pretty calm with her but the lack of sleep is taking its toll on me. I swore that is why God never let me have any children since he new I didn't handle lack of sleep well (lol). Little did I know he was saving me up for mom. I think the situation is getting to my boyfriend too. Lastnight he got all pissy over something silly. I'm just waiting for the physical therapist to show up now. Didn't make it into work myself.
Thank all of you for the welcome. I just wrote a little summary of my situation and moved wrong and deleted it. #&$?# it! Ah well, another time perhaps. Suffice to say, took care of dad thru his lung cancer till he died, and now mom can't be left alone. He was in pain and was a sweetheart to care for compared to mom. Who is physically very healthy, just mentally deteriorating. She constantly took over conversations when my dad had visitors, and still monopolizes all conversations. She was a tyrant to my dad, guilting him into getting her way all the time. I asked him why he went along with all her BS and he said because it's easier. OK, now she thinks that we are here because we were going to lose our apartment and that she is rescuing us. Oh really? She says to me,"you didn't like living there". Yeah mom, living at the beach in san diego sucks. (sorry for the sarcasm, but I can't say that to her, so I say it to you all. Two years I've been here now, and a couple of days ago she totally had a screaming fit two inches from my nose. I was floored. I honestly thought she was going to slap me or something. It doesn't matter, because anything you say to her will be soon forgotten or totally jumbled. The stuff she says is so far from reality, she is in her own world. She is so self centered, and lonely, but can't make friends because she only knows how to make small talk with these "canned" responses. She never really listens to the speaket, just squaks um hm, ah ha, wow and blah blah blah. No one else in the room can even respond, because mom fills in every gap. Oh boy, I am learning not to share a lot ofinfo with her as she has no filters on her mouth. She even took a visiter into my and my husband's bedroom as part of the house tour?! WTF ? I was in was in kitchen as this was happening and i'm thinking, "no, she wouldn't take anyone in there..." I was wrong again. So much other crap has been going on that I haven't mentioned it. (who am I kidding, shewouldn't remember anyways. Ugh, ) My siblings of whom I am the youngest moved off of the continent years ago, so not much help there. Oh well, enough of my rambling, thanks for the ears, you guys rock. Onlyme
Cricket, the best antibiotic depends on the type of bacteria. Mom used to take Cipro, Augmenten, an injection I can remember the name and another nitrofluoride (sp). Mom frequently would get e.coli bacteria. Drink lots of fluid, stay away from the acid and drink cranberry juice if he isn't on coumadin.
Lildeb, it's tough to get water down someone when they refuse to drink, somethings that have helped me is to give them ice chips several times a day. Another thing I do is feed them more watery foods like soups. Also, distilled water is an inexpensive way to get bottled water that is clean and tastes better. As for Milk and constipation...it is possible if one has a milk allergy like me. I substitute vanilla coconut milk because I like the taste of that the best but their is also almond milk and it comes in regular and vanilla. Another reason I like the coconut milk is because it's nice and white and it isn't thicker than regular milk like the others are. It is usually at most grocery stores in the milk section. Hope this helps. xo
Someone mention to me that milk can constipate a person is that really true? She needs her milk for her osteoporsis as well as taking pills for it too. Anyone have any suggestions to sneak in more water please let me have it litterly for I don't won't a dehydrated mil. Maybe I can give he cream of chicken soup n make it a little more soupie. Trying to be creative here or she won't touch it. ;0 Okay, throw it at me n let me have it for any tips for increasing water intake.
Thanks, I had no idea that the stuff can dehydrate her if she don't drink enough water. I try to get her to at least drink 4 - 5 glasses a day and that is good for her. She does drink Cafeeine Free soda when she is not trying to grab the other one off the grocery shelf. I also had to cut back a few day from her favorite mac-n-cheese, peanut butter , cheese burgers. It so hard to get her to eat veggies unless I sneak it in the meatloaf n forget the fruit for she say it is too sweet. I notice is totaly oppsite from other elderly people with dementia. Just show that everyone's situation is different yet similar in others.
Onlyme, not familar with your whole situation except that you are the caregiver for your mom that has dementia. I would personal put safety lock up on those chemicals before she blows herself or y'all up or she can get sick using too much. At least it should smell nice, you gotta try n keep a sense of humor. However, for safety issues I would get something done so she cannot just grab those items n she will just have to get all fussy. Better safe than sorry. Good luck.
Dr. wondered why she felt the need to write it EVERY TIME? I think I will go by Sir Jennifer from now on hahahahaaa!
Mom is so mad I am typing fast to clear out, she has been pissed for days now and mad at every god damn thing she can think of...I do not engage....Respite but I can bring myself to tell her to look into it...
Amen I only started on this thread last year & I was crazy that morning searching 4 anything that would help me My MIL had a colostomy bag (been removed since) Had shit all over has alzheimers didnt even know what happen she thought infection blew her side out.... I was searching for ??? & Found this thread & I am a better person dont know what I would have did if I didnt find AC. Diane Hope you can get some sleep....UGH.. Oh got to tell you all SIL that was suppose to take MIL to beaty shop for perm on a sunday when her shop was closed fiannly txt me yesterday I told her for mil sake she would have to come about 4 or 5pm and she did... txt my phone about hour later sAying MIL was locked in herr car she left her in there to go get wheelchair from shop then went back to shop & door shut so was locked out of shop & car then she got a hold of someone & got inside both & was like then as soon as we get inside mom had pooped all over herself oh my .... I txt back ONE STEP AT A TIME!!!!!!!! Now thats KARMA!!!!!!LOVE IT!!!!
Hey...little news flash here... the "Doctor" who was so full of herself last week and kept posting her personal website info and even phone number is gone. Her profile goes by "anonymous" now.
Welcome to the thread Onlyme. I think I've been here a year or so now and in many ways this site has been a daily respite for me. What better way to get a little breather mentally and emotionally than to be around friends who understand what your life is like. We've all had our ups and downs and through the thick and thin of it I must say that I am really glad I've hung around. One benefit of caregiving is that we aren't living under an illusion, Caregiving is keeping it real. Bookworm, sorry but I had to laugh when you wrote about the poop "karma" and how Bobbie said it's not Karma it's shit. LMAO! Caregiving can help us grow and become better versions of ourselves if we let it. lol Tim, you made a really good point about increasing water intake due to how Miralax draws water out of the body and puts it in the bowels where it is needed. I would just like to add that if we would just increase water intake that perhaps Miralax won't be needed. Dehydration is a serious problem for many so it's something to take seriously. Tim, I'm really glad you got that wonderful hour and a half with Laura and the family. Mame and Judy, I too love to start my day with a cup of herbal tea and reading this thread. It's a great way to stay connected. I am so grateful to all of our caregivers who continue to hang with us and share their comments and their life's wisdom. Diane, If their is any way you can use earplugs and get some sleep without neglecting Mom's real needs, by all means do so. If that isn't possible then please let us help you figure out a solution, don't take this on all by yourself especially when you're exhausted. A lack of needed sleep does screw up brain chemistry and the stress hormones and you've come way to far to get stuck back in the dreaded black hole. *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Glad I could help you out Judy! Haha... I do the same thing in the morning...grab my tea and sign on here to catch up with everyone! If I miss a day on the weekend or something-I feel the void! Definitely need my friends on this site! Thanks to ALL! Mame
Oh, jeez, Mame! I was sitting here with my morning coffee, catching up on the comments as the usual part of my morning routine... and then I read your comment and realize that I have an oral surgeon appointment with Mom this morning! If it wasn't for you mentioning a tooth extraction, I would've just totally forgotten. Whew. Thanks! I've been on this site only for a few months too, and now its part of my day - I look forward to this time. It all started for me, when I was looking for information on helping out my elderly parents. I never thought I'd find a site to help me out too! I started here by reading Lisa's thread on getting her mean mother out of her house...and I was hooked. I just love you guys. I get up at 5am, make some coffee, and grab an hour to myself to do nothing but read up and laugh or cry, or just nod my head.
Well, bobbie, you can say that again! It sure isn't karma but sh**. Couldn't help it. Read your words and then giggled. You have one quick comeback! ;) Take care!!
Good morning all! Cricket-thanks for the flair! Love it! Cat-I am still rockin from Friday night! Listening to his CD's! Lildeb-he was always someone I wanted to see too! Hope you get a chance someday! Tim, I am sending you and Laura positive thoughts and prayers! I really feel for you with that quick change in diagnosis. (((Hugs))) Diane-I hope you can get some rest-you have been doing so much and trying to stay so positive! I wish you good things and wish they could come quickly for you! Welcome Onlyme! I have only been on this thread for a few months-what a life saver! Sooooo great to chat with people who really understand! Your profile pic of your kitty looks just like my old kitty! Made me happy just to see it! This morning is starting out a little cooler...altho they are saying we may be over 90 again later! Mom has day care tomorrow and tooth extraction Thursday! Oh fun! We'll see how it goes! No poop stories this (past) week-thank God! Have a good one all! Mame
onlyme, welcome to the boat. You have figured it out! Yes, it's real and there was a caregiver, Ted, who was here just this past weekend.
Thanks Austin, as always, for the nice compliment! I was online looking at marinas up your way while I am still here in the wet shed getting carpentry work done.
This thread and the caregivers who posted on it and the ones that post now are STILL saving my sanity!
bookworm, hope you don't have to get a new washer and I feel you about the poo issue. omg and I also get that you need to take a few minutes to stand there and take in the situation before you can get your hands in it. Oh man, do I get it. AND I don't think it's Karma. I think it's sh!t. hahahaha
more boat work today and onlyme, now I am a caregiver to a big boat! onlyme, also, your mom has Dementia and there is no telling her what to do and that she can't use this or that. She will get into stuff you won't believe and the only answer is to get all that stuff away from her and hide it under lock and key. Wish I had better news, but Dementia patients don't learn and the disease is progressive. The sooner you accept that the better your overall mental health with be as you deal with the present and what's coming. If you haven't done so yet start looking into county and state resources for respite care (respite for you!) Thanks and I hope you join the crew and have a good time venting with us. The caregivers who post here are incredible and between all of us there are answers to just about everything.
OK, some gy standing on the dock yelling at me (not in a bad way) so let me get out there and continue on this amazing journey.
thinkoftheboat... and think of the Bahamas..... love you guys way more than you'll ever know. All you guys, even the new ones. lovbob
Victoria, what a coincidence! My dad is now going through the Poop stage. I completely forgot how gross that was (went thru it with mom years ago.) Yesterday morning, he had touched his pooh overnight. It was all over his clothes and the washable waterproof pad. I can't stand pooh. When i used to babysit my little nieces/nephews, I required their parents to change their pampers before dropping them off. I told the parents straight out: "I don't do pampers." Karma! I tell you it must be Karma! I truly tell you this, deep in me, I wanted to say, "I quit!" I so much wanted to just walk out. I stood there staring at the mess for a couple of minutes. I think I scared my dad. (I have a terrible temper when growing up. Took me years to finally get it under control.) I must have looked scary to him because as I stared at that mess, I held in my anger (but it must have shown in my face) and sooooo wanted to just walk out.... Karma, I tell you. For all the nieces and nephews in which I gave the parents a hard time - about dropping them with soaking pampers..... Now, I'm forced to handle it. I'm still getting use to it. I ended up cutting up his nice new gray t-shirt (good quality too!) just so that the pooh won't fall over his head when we try to raise his hands to take the shirt off. He kept saying, "Why are you cutting it?! Why are you cutting it?" and I kept saying, "I've told you over and over. I can't stand Pooh! Anything that has pooh Will Be Thrown!" I also threw the pooh-caked waterproof pad.
This is out of necessity. Our washing machine doesn't work so well. I don't have time to hose down the pooh and then wash it twice, etc... So, it gets trashed. By the way, Kmart has informed me when I bought the washer last year, that manufacturers are no longer making outdoor washers. All the washers now are indoor - electronic/computerized with their special laundry soap. Don't know what we're going to do if we need a new washer.
SSK I am sure some Amber Jane will give you advice about your toothbrush. Only welcome aboard there is a real boat -Bobbie our Captain is one heck of a lady-keep reading Grossed out-yyou will learn all about our motly crew-I have been here for about 4 years and it saved my sanity when caring for the husband-I stuck around because I had so many friends here-myday starts with checking up on my friends.
Onlyme, just yesterday, I decided to start from the beginning of this site, How are You and the Dysfunction discussions. I just started on this site in June. But, I read the end for the updates, then read a bit of each ones in the beginning. To answer your question, there are some names that I'm not familiar with on this site that I see in the Beginning compared to the Now. But, it could be too that some don't write as often as before..but they still come here, read and on those rare moments - they comment. Welcome!!!
lildeb, also (now that I know that Polyethlen Glycol is the prescription/stronger version of Miralax) I wanted to add, my mother's doctor gave me the okay for prolonged use with the over the counter. Anything that needs a prescription from the doctor of course should be double checked for daily use. I would definitely ask the doc. I even did ask even with the over the counter version.
Okay so, Polyethlen Glycol is the pharmacy name, but that sounded like a prescription that has to be written by the doctor whereas I just go pick up Miralax when my mom needs more. God forbid that my mom should need something stronger than over the counter stuff lol.
Also, I began reading this thread at the very beginning, when the mantra was thinkoftheboat. So did Bobbie or someone actually do it? This was a nice dream for me, but its real? Are some of you still here from 2010? Those first few hundred comments saved me some sanity today. Thank you
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Don't give up! Yet!
make a plan Stan and then give up.
You know your siblings are worthless. There's a lady here at the yard who is going through the same crap sibling wise and she, like Deef, has just given up thinking about or expecting anything from them. This lady won't even call them with updates but keeps a log of everything going on and kept a log for all the times she left messages for brother or sister with what was going on and the fact that she got no return call. You consciously have to make the choice to not think of them because all it does is make YOU upset and YOU are the one who matters here because if YOU don't function, nothing functions. Sux but true. Love ya Flex.
Ted's brother told him to go live in a homeless shelter after their mom died and so I guess Ted's brother thought Ted was finished 'sponging off of mom' because she died. Insane, criminal and sinister. So there he is without any money or a home and his brother and sister are tying up the probate/estate process because they are insane, criminal and sinister. ICS
What he went through was insane just like what you are going through.
Unbelievable but it's happening this very second as I write this and as you read it. Someone's brother or sister is taking advantage of someone's brother or sister while someone's mom or dad is off the hook. ICS
DEEF!! I dunno, just like saying: DEEF!!
oh gotta go, phone!
lovbob
My weekend was not restful. My husband worked on the greenhouse and needs to use his air compressor for nailing. This sends Marcus (dog) nuts. He's all clingy and whining to me. Spent most of the weekend in the house with him and was about ready for to give him a lobotomy by the end of Sunday. Good news is the exterior of the greenhouse is now finished. YEAH!!!!!!!! It's only taken us a year, but it's done.
Hugs to all, Cattails
If it makes you feel any better, I am disgusted with your sibs. Your sister is one for the books and some day Karma will pay her a call. Your brother has his own set of problems and can't even seem to manage his own life. Nevertheless, that's no excuse for not lending a hand more often.
Some day soon, Diane, things will change for the better. Please believe that and do what you have to do now to get all the help you can. Call that agency back and get a letter from your doc. You have to do these things. It's part of taking care of yourself. It may not change anything, but it might change everything. Pull yourself out of that hole, even if it's just for a few hours, and kick some butt.
Maybe you need to talk to your mom's doc about this constant going on of hers. Not suggesting Ativan, but something that would calm her. Do I remember correctly that he didn't want to use the Paxil for the antidepressant? Maybe you could ask him to reconsider because she is clearly dealing with anxiety and the day and night calling for this and that is taking it's toll on you. The doc should be willing to listen to you and realize that making a simple change in her antidepressant is worth a try.
I'm sorry for the rant. I just feel pissed that people let you down. You are an amazing person and I have tremendous respect for you. Look how much you have accomplished in the past few months. I hate to nag you, but try to get back on that horse and ride.
Next time you vent, I promise I will not get on a rant. I am sending you tons of love and white light. Buckets of hugs to you my dear friend. Cattails
Only me welcome .... Well Cattails hope u & hubby had a nice quiet weekend...
DR...??? wonder what kind...lol
Diane: Have you gotten over the hurdles (brother) with submitting Medicaid app. I'l be so relieved when you can get some help. I'm glad you are going to the psychiatrist. Think about getting a letter from him regarding the program than turned you down with help for your mom. Those people need a wake up call and you need some sleep.
Onlyme: I guess I've been here close to a year. Took care of my folks for 7 years. My mom has passed and my dad had a major stroke 13 months ago. He then lived with us and needed 24/7 care. Really couldn't do anything but feed himself at the table. We placed my dad in nursing home care a few weeks ago. It was a hard decision, but we needed to do it for our sake. He is getting good care and is only 10 minutes from us. We are experiencing moments of freedom now that had forgotten existed.
I love all the people on this thread. They are loving, supportive and funny. They carry heavy loads on their shoulders and share from the heart. I think you will fit right in and hope you stick around.
Judy: Did you have anything to do with the Doc's disappearance? Sending you another block of cheese and much appreciation. Another one bites the dust, hey hey. Glad you remembered Fangs dentist appointment. Be sure to tell us how it went.
Love you guys, Cattails
Gotta run. Welcome newbies and stay with us.
Love ya,
Diane
Okay, throw it at me n let me have it for any tips for increasing water intake.
Onlyme, not familar with your whole situation except that you are the caregiver for your mom that has dementia. I would personal put safety lock up on those chemicals before she blows herself or y'all up or she can get sick using too much. At least it should smell nice, you gotta try n keep a sense of humor. However, for safety issues I would get something done so she cannot just grab those items n she will just have to get all fussy. Better safe than sorry. Good luck.
Mom is so mad I am typing fast to clear out, she has been pissed for days now and mad at every god damn thing she can think of...I do not engage....Respite but I can bring myself to tell her to look into it...
Diane Hope you can get some sleep....UGH..
Oh got to tell you all SIL that was suppose to take MIL to beaty shop for perm on a sunday when her shop was closed fiannly txt me yesterday I told her for mil sake she would have to come about 4 or 5pm and she did... txt my phone about hour later sAying MIL was locked in herr car she left her in there to go get wheelchair from shop then went back to shop & door shut so was locked out of shop & car then she got a hold of someone & got inside both & was like then as soon as we get inside mom had pooped all over herself oh my .... I txt back ONE STEP AT A TIME!!!!!!!!
Now thats KARMA!!!!!!LOVE IT!!!!
Welcome to the thread Onlyme. I think I've been here a year or so now and in many ways this site has been a daily respite for me. What better way to get a little breather mentally and emotionally than to be around friends who understand what your life is like. We've all had our ups and downs and through the thick and thin of it I must say that I am really glad I've hung around. One benefit of caregiving is that we aren't living under an illusion, Caregiving is keeping it real.
Bookworm, sorry but I had to laugh when you wrote about the poop "karma" and how Bobbie said it's not Karma it's shit. LMAO! Caregiving can help us grow and become better versions of ourselves if we let it. lol
Tim, you made a really good point about increasing water intake due to how Miralax draws water out of the body and puts it in the bowels where it is needed. I would just like to add that if we would just increase water intake that perhaps Miralax won't be needed. Dehydration is a serious problem for many so it's something to take seriously. Tim, I'm really glad you got that wonderful hour and a half with Laura and the family.
Mame and Judy, I too love to start my day with a cup of herbal tea and reading this thread. It's a great way to stay connected.
I am so grateful to all of our caregivers who continue to hang with us and share their comments and their life's wisdom.
Diane, If their is any way you can use earplugs and get some sleep without neglecting Mom's real needs, by all means do so. If that isn't possible then please let us help you figure out a solution, don't take this on all by yourself especially when you're exhausted. A lack of needed sleep does screw up brain chemistry and the stress hormones and you've come way to far to get stuck back in the dreaded black hole.
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Tim, I am sending you and Laura positive thoughts and prayers! I really feel for you with that quick change in diagnosis. (((Hugs)))
Diane-I hope you can get some rest-you have been doing so much and trying to stay so positive! I wish you good things and wish they could come quickly for you!
Welcome Onlyme! I have only been on this thread for a few months-what a life saver! Sooooo great to chat with people who really understand! Your profile pic of your kitty looks just like my old kitty! Made me happy just to see it!
This morning is starting out a little cooler...altho they are saying we may be over 90 again later! Mom has day care tomorrow and tooth extraction Thursday! Oh fun! We'll see how it goes! No poop stories this (past) week-thank God! Have a good one all! Mame
Welcome to the new crew!
onlyme, welcome to the boat. You have figured it out! Yes, it's real and there was a caregiver, Ted, who was here just this past weekend.
Thanks Austin, as always, for the nice compliment! I was online looking at marinas up your way while I am still here in the wet shed getting carpentry work done.
This thread and the caregivers who posted on it and the ones that post now are STILL saving my sanity!
bookworm, hope you don't have to get a new washer and I feel you about the poo issue. omg and I also get that you need to take a few minutes to stand there and take in the situation before you can get your hands in it. Oh man, do I get it. AND I don't think it's Karma. I think it's sh!t. hahahaha
more boat work today and onlyme, now I am a caregiver to a big boat!
onlyme, also, your mom has Dementia and there is no telling her what to do and that she can't use this or that. She will get into stuff you won't believe and the only answer is to get all that stuff away from her and hide it under lock and key. Wish I had better news, but Dementia patients don't learn and the disease is progressive. The sooner you accept that the better your overall mental health with be as you deal with the present and what's coming.
If you haven't done so yet start looking into county and state resources for respite care (respite for you!)
Thanks and I hope you join the crew and have a good time venting with us. The caregivers who post here are incredible and between all of us there are answers to just about everything.
OK, some gy standing on the dock yelling at me (not in a bad way) so let me get out there and continue on this amazing journey.
thinkoftheboat...
and think of the Bahamas.....
love you guys way more than you'll ever know. All you guys, even the new ones.
lovbob
This is out of necessity. Our washing machine doesn't work so well. I don't have time to hose down the pooh and then wash it twice, etc... So, it gets trashed. By the way, Kmart has informed me when I bought the washer last year, that manufacturers are no longer making outdoor washers. All the washers now are indoor - electronic/computerized with their special laundry soap. Don't know what we're going to do if we need a new washer.