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Oh, Cuz, what a nighmare for your sister. Brought tears to my eyes reading it. Makes what I felt to be the weight of the world on my shoulders yesterday, seem so trivial today in comparison. Keeping you in my thoughts.
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Cuz, sorry to hear of the loss of your sister's husband. jAnd for her hardships.
Tim, wishing you hope with the stem cell transplant.
My mom has another uti, so am trying to get meds into her 3x a day. It's getting hard watching someone slowly decline. She must weigh about 80 lbs, and I keep cooking stuff for her, (and then eat it myself!)
I have no renters now, and the privacy feels good. I'm going to get a webcam so I can talk to my sons . I've never used one so it'll be a new experience.
Diane, I like your logo photo.
Hi bobbie, deef, ausitn Jen, Cattails, cricket, and whoever else is reading. ssk
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Cuz, so sorry to hear about your sister and her husband. I'll keep you all in my prayers.
Tim, good luck with the stem cell transplant. At least there is hope and that is very important. This group is amazing and will be there every step of the way for you.

The rest of the crew, just wanted to say hello and thank you again for your love and support.

Have as good a day as possible!
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Cuz I am so sorry for your loss and hope your sister recovers completely and has lots of people to lean on in the comming days and years and she is so lucky to have you in her life. My nephew was doing reserrch in stem cells while earning his PHD, and a granddaughter of a friend of mine just had a bone marrow transplant -it is amazing how far medicine has come whemn I first was in nursing there was nothing that could be done for people with those illnesses.
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Wow cuz I'm really sad to read that my neighbors just got back from Disneyland and just as they reached our town they got guitar head on awesome by some drunk kid luckly everyone walked away.....
My gf and client ( she loves it when I call her my client Haha) is fighting nh lympohmatic cancer attacking her brain and spine went to remission for the second time which is great. But now the fun part they are going to evaluate her for stem cell transplant next week ...so I'm so glad I found this site I have a feeling um gonna.need some.friends who will be able to relate during this process...so thank you all in advance for your words ...good luck and have a great weds ...
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Dear Cuz: I am so deeply sorry for your loss and your sister's loss. It's true that for all the things we worry about, more often than not what comes at us is entirely out of the blue and unexpected. Just goes to show you how senseless it is to spend years worrying about the what if's.

Again, I am sincerely sorry for your loss. I will keep all of you in my prayers, especially your sis. I pray she can pick up the pieces of her life and find comfort and happiness in the years ahead. This is heartbreaking. God Bless You and yours. Cattails.
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Hi gals just thought I would touch base on the tick bite. No weird side effects yet so I think I might be past that part of the ordeal. As for breathing in all the bat shit and mice shit dust who knows what that is going to bring down the road. Felling real good though mentally I'm shot. I found out that my sister and her husband were vacationing in Alaska and were involved in a bad head on crash where a couple from Florida crossed the center line at struck their car head on. My sisters husband of only 5 yrs was killed on impact. My sister was flown by airrow med to the nearst hospital in serious condition. I talked with her tonight and she has a broken arm, broken teeth and lots of bruises from both the airbag and the seatbelt. They had to use the jaws to cut them out of the car. You can't wish this loss on anybody but you never know when your time is up. Rick loved Alaska and part of him will blow over Alaska and the rest will be spread at his favorite lake here in Michigan. Its been a very tough day for me today so forgive me if I don't have jokes for yous tonight. Hugs to everyone.
lovCuz
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I hear by waiver and declare yesa yesa I declare that not one iota, I say, not one Eye O Tah, of what I have here said and or written is in any way to be construed with living, sane people....
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Jen, I'd sign a waiver, and I bet everyone else would also! xoxo

Diane, Getting tired first thing in the morning is a sure sign of exhaustion.. If it all gets to overwhelming just stop everything and take some deep breaths and tell yourself it's okay to not do it all, just do what you can and it is good enough! I'm with you in spirit. Angels to you dear Jen xoxo

Lildeb, we would all be hanging ourselves if we didn't have a sense of humor. About eating and nightmares....it's absolutely true. A sure recipe for a nightmare is to eat and then go to bed. Technically we are supposed to not eat 3 hours before going to bed....but as caregivers that's not always doable.

Here's a thought for the day...
Each one of us has a beautiful light within that radiates who we really are, it is our living inner spirit that allows us to shine and each one of us is unique, each one of us has our own presence that is a gift to the world. Lets not let the down side of caregiving put out our light but rather lets do the best we can with what is in front of us right now, today and forget about the past, don't think about the future. Lets stay in the now and do the best we can and let our lights shine.
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
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Gonna try a larger theatre group......Just hope to get some feedback first...

Gah, I journal about all this...if I printed it I'd be sued....

Thank you ALL for the support, It means a lot to me....
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It's only 9:30am and I am exhausted already! Mom had me up before dawn and jumping up every 5 minutes for one trivial or imaginary thing after another. Then the aide called in sick so I can't get mom ready in time for her appointment with the doctor. Last night my oven decided to die while I was trying to bake a carrot cake. Lildeb, Jen and everyone else here, you know what it feels like when everything is going wrong!!!! Jen, stay with us girl. I cant imagine hving to deal with FP, but we need you.

Now that I'veblown off my steam, let me see what I can actually get done today. Sending you all hugs and angels to get you through the day.
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Bobbie - good to hear from you and that you are hanging in there.

Try and have a good day, everyone.

xo
-SS
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Actually, Jen, with the number of baby boomers taking care of parents, a play concerning said subject would be a total sell out. Think about all the different parents and all the different adult child caregivers. Think about the back stories behind all the characters. It would be riveting, hilarious, heart wrenching, infuriating and everything in between. A real microcosm of the human condition.

Cattails
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Cricket, I haven't heard anything on here n I hope he is doing okay.
As for your post above Ted, you got me cracking laughing out loud n I needed that too. I was going to tell Jsomebody that it one aweful dream, but your is a lot better with the humor,. I would love to go to that Dark Comedy play n you probable have Oprah lol. Im sorry I had to go back n read it again about, "if it comes down to that go in Fartpants room and gather up all his dirty sh*t and go outside and burn it! What's he gonna do about it anyway? you can out run the old fart, LOL Please don't hang yourself!" Love it.. have a good night all n Somebody, don't eat whatever you ate that night so u don't have another nightmare.
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Oh dear Jen.... if it comes down to that go in Fartpants room and gather up all his dirty shit and go outside and burn it! What's he gonna do about it anyway? you can out run the old fart, LOL Please don't hang yourself! Hey do you have your play posted somewhere on line? I will give it a read and tell you who to axe if you want. I still think you should write a play based on all of us here (kind of like "the help" except instead of maids....caregivers) I know it would be a big hit! Dark Comedy with a Sisterhood forum holding it all together.. I would pay to see it. And who knows it could be such a hit that Oprah might give us all a Respite in Hawaii or something. Wouldn't that be awesome!

Change of Subject, Has anyone heard from Ted and how he's doing since his Mother died? I hope he is okay. I sent a brief email to him but haven't heard back.

Cricket ღ
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Iam glad I don't have to wipe any asses yet, I know my day will be coming. However, I just love cleaning sh*t off by the toliet paper n the handle of toliet bowl. Love it, love it. I just mopped n cleaned the whole bathroom with some good ole pine oil n cleaned too. Plus, for some reason I'm picking up small balls of toleit paper n no it did not have any poo on it but she could had wipe with it. I have caught her sitting with one foot on toliet seat while trying to dig poo out of her ass! I guess, I will have to start asking her every other day if her bowl movement was long slender or rounded turds. That way I can give her the powder stuff to keep her regulated. Boy, I was never taught this in my four degree in sociology.
For some reason the mnl had to touch hubby's bread on his plate while I was fixing dinner. So, I just threw it to the birds outside. He ask why I threw his bread out n I said, "do u really want to know?" He said no thanks as I gave him that sh*tty grin. ; 0 Hubby was already told before about the turd in toliet deal. Now that I have been tramatized, I cannot keep that thought out of my mind.

After the mnl ate, I guess she washes out her false teeth but she won't let me put them in a container to really get them clean. Anyway, she leaves spit particles in the sink that was once sparkly clean in the bathroom!!!! Ah!!!!! So, I ask hubby, "Did you spit in the bathroom sink?" I'm so.... bad. ; 0 So, he goes in their n gets his mom to clean it out n she arguing that she don't do that n bla.... Next, I hear hubby being loud, "don't put your hand on it." I like to die laughing for I had a flash back of her crabbing that turd in the toliet to prove to me she wasn't constipated. lol
Next, I had the opportunity to clean peanut butter off the handle of the refrig. Lets just say it was peanut butter okay. n it was on the counter where she made herself peanut butter n saltine crackers. So, my house smells a little along with some peanut butter n rotten sweet potatos because it exploded in my microwave. Tomorrow has to be a better day. Lord give me strength.
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Navel tick eeewwww.....Hope you are doing better there bobbie, been having nightmares myself again. Woke up from one where mom fell down the basement steps because I turned the light off and she feel on her neck I call 911 no one ever comes to help...I decided to go hang myself in the garage...lovely dream....Have a stiff neck now, any wonder....

Heard back from local theatre group...play has too many characters for them, so they have taken a pass...yes hits just keep coming...Hope to at least get a little feed back. please people. Something, anything would help...

Got school pics of cousins girl, will not be showing them to mom, if she asks for copies for grandpa I will have to hang myself in the garage...I just cant take anymore....I just can't....
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Hi all, I'm just stopping in to say hello and see how everyone's doing today..

Geez, Jen! I feel your pain from Florida! Since my Father's stroke he is turning into more of a sex pervert himself and I can relate. However my Dad isn't hitting on me TG! He just embarrasses me by hitting on every other woman that comes into the house and all the women everywhere I take him. His Dementia has progressed since the stroke, we are in the Middle stages now. He's more delusional and argumentative, not fun.

Hi Linda and Bobbie....please send me your phone numbers please please please! You think I want to call once in awhile? LOL Love you both!

Diane, Keep hanging in there. I'm glad your new Doctor is working with you on the meds, and with regards to the Brother...at least it calmed down for now. You have my support.

Cattails, you are a blessing here for many of us. Thanks for being here with an interests to helping others. Your attentiveness to others is appreciated.

Hi Austin, Meanwhile2, Lildeb, Mame, Igor, and of course CUZ, oh btw Cuz.... thanks for that email about the marvels of the human body, Now every time Evil Cricket sees a man she is scoping out the size of his Thumbs! HAH!

Also Hi to anyone else reading but not posting currently. Hang in there and I'm not talking about with a noose!
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
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Mame: So glad you had a wonderful time with your girlfriends. Isn't it a blessing to have friends you've shared your life with close by. You go thorough so many things, school, marriage, kids, etc., and now you are able to share parent health issues and losses. I think that is so connecting and comforting. I'm really happy you have that special circle of friends.

You know, I have never seen fireflies. I think they must be so beautiful. Gonna put that on my bucket list. Hugs, Cattails
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Hi all! Happy Monday....ick..
Well, the weather held out on Saturday for my get together with my highschool girl friends! We BBQ'd and had a bonfire and drank and talked...and laughed! It is so funny to see where each person is in their life with the whole caregiving thing! Just like on here! One friends mom died a year ago-and she always used to say that my mom was 6 months behind everything her mother did...guess that isn't true anymore! Most recently she had to put her Aunt in a NH. She could not take her -it was hard and long with her own mom... One is taking care of her dad-but he is still in his home. Two are on the cusp-going to mom's house, taking her shopping etc...it is only a matter of time before they will need more help... I wouldn't want to talk anyone out of caring for someone-but I did talk at length with one of my girl friends about how hard it is. I can tell she is thinking about taking her mom in. Bobbie-you had just written about the stress on the caregivers life/health and I told her about that. I told her to come on this website and do a little reading before she commits! It was a good visit with the girls and a beautiful night with fireflies etc! My hubby was a huge help and told each one of the girls that I need to do this more and to come back any Sat night!!! My bro took care of mom with my hubby and mom was completely out of sorts at bedtime. She would NOT turn out the light and go to bed till she saw me. Hubby said, "she is out at the fire and may not be in for an hour"! She sat on the side of the bed waiting! He said he was NOT going to make me come in, she was safe and she could fall asleep or wait. I have to chuckle cause it is so not like him! But it was great!!! As soon as she saw me, she was fine. And went right off to sleep! The next day she kept saying how happy she was that I had fun with my friends!
It is 92 degrees in my backyard right now! In the house it is 87! Gonna go back in and sit with mom in the AC! Gotta refill the dogs water bowl!!!! See ya! Mame
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hello . just poppin in to say hello ,

jen - yes god this is enuff for jen ! plz lord .. jen said its enuff enuff enuff . damn it all . i would take all the lit girls pictures out of his room . oh lord that man just is not right at all , blindfold him ! do u live on hills ? geeze , i be takin him for a stroll and let go of the wheelchair ! watch him fly !
love u jen , ure a good person and ur ears are hearin everything . draggin you down . find u a bob segar and jam with him ....
bobbie - i am so happy that ure getting out more . proud of you sis . im getting out more myself too .
am going camping this weekend and i shall enjoy ..
praying that you all have a calm day , love you ! xoxo
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Bobbie great to hear from you I am sorry about your RA and hope you found a good rhumatoligist I find the tiredness gets me more than the pain of course the husband never gave me a break I also have fibromyalagia and polymyalagia which was the worse for me that pain was overwhelming until I got on the meds for it on board. I am almost up to not mowing my lawn at this point but still trying to hang in there.
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Bobbie: Excellent idea to get involved in a group. What a wonderful face to face diversion. I envy those woman, having you in their midst and really commend you for taking that step. You need to be with people, especially women. So glad you had a blast at last Friday's get together.

I'm not trying to pry, Bobbie, but why don't you talk about the decisions you make under duress here. Talk about your nightmares and what is going on with your emotional life. Get it out in the open because I think keeping it all inside lets it build up and it has to come out somewhere. Talk about it, VENT about it and maybe that will give you some release from the nightmares.

Glad you are now undercover from the rain. Get what sunshine you can today and then take shelter for the next squall.

Keep safe and well. Hugs, Cattails.
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Good Morning Crew,

Sorry I have been such a sour ass lately. Been struggling with nightmares and insanity like that and thanks everyone for being here and I am sorry but I roared at the 'sitting on the boys' routine... omg Hilarious and ya, only funny if you're not the one polishing the stones.

Cuz!! any news? how do you feel? I remember getting a tick in my navel at one of the summer reunions in Mich. I don't think anyone knew back then how dangerous they were. My dad came at me with a lit cigarette, poked the tick in the butt and when the tick yanked his head out to see wtf daddy popped him off and stepped on him.
Hoo-rah.
Let us know how it's going Cuz. Shrimpin season coming up down here but I know you don't like to sweat and man oh man this is a place for making gravy for sure.

With the RA I can't have shrimp or anything like that cause it will make it flare. I am doing my homework to understand what I can and can't eat so I don't hurt anymore than I have to. No beer, wine which is ok I can live without. Nightshades so potatoes, tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers.. alright, ok I can do.
It will be ok and I have it so much easier than anyone else; just have the head issues to get sorted out and that will come.

I went online to look for a support group last week and found a handful of caregiver support groups which I thought was fantastic. That alone would have made such a difference in my world but they didn't exist then as Austin and a few others will tell you. I thought about going but realized that I would have cried all night so I found another online group called Meetup. They have people who are interested in film, restaurants etc so I signed up for 2 groups (all women!), went out Friday night and had a blast. Just what I needed to get out of my head.
All of the women had amazing backstories and here's one of them:
One was married for 18 years with an 18 year old daughter. This lady was in the process of a divorce when her husband got sick and died. He changes his will at the last minute and leaves the entire estate to his 18 year old daughter. The mother and the daughter used to be very close but of course the money (a lot of it) has ruined that relationship. Since Florida is NOT a community property state, the State of Florida doesn't recognize the 18 year marriage and the fact that the wife helped him achieve the wealth in the first place.
The wife is nearly destitute and the daughter is in the process of kicking her out of her home because the daughter spent so much time with her dying father who was obviously angry at the mother and the daughter is consumed with grief and making crazy decisions. The decisions under duress thing again.... And there goes another amazing story of what human beings can do to each other.

Cricket, thanks for being here. Ya I would go to the movies with you in a heartbeat.

Angelhair! good luck on your test I have a feeling that you're going to Ace it.
FLEX! I told a story on here awhile back about making dinner and mom coming around the corner naked from the waist down with a Depends full of brownies. She had a look on her face that was: Check THIS out... eh? eh?
I told her, 'nice job' and she took her compliment and strolled off with head held high. I was on her heels just to make sure that the Depends didn't wind up in the pillowcase.

Linda! I have cried for the last 3 days for my mom and dad. Just because I gripe about the caregiving doesn't mean I didn't love them. Miss my mom and dad very much and time is doing its thing by beginning to take away the bad and leaving the precious. Tough road but we all end up traveling it one way or another.

DEEF! I dunno, just like saying: DEEF! Tell Rip wassup!

Jen! omg, you have suffered way more than your share or my share or anyone's share.

Cattails, the rain storm got me good on Saturday and by Sunday it was setting up to come at me again. Since I am working on the exterior of the boat there are are areas that are unprotected by paint or caulk and covered by painters tape and plastic to get through the weather. That stuff only goes so far. The boat angel texted me and told me that there was more rain coming and to get the boat under the covered shed. I had been trying to get my boat under that thing for months. So I made a call to the yard boss and begged and he sent a guy and he and I got her moved. We were under for just 5 minutes and this huge squall moved over us and stalled for a few hours. It rained farm animals. Safe and sound and what a relief.. I had been stressing that for months and months.

I took off all the tape and plastic to start the process of the boat drying out. This morning we pulled her into the sun and I will stay here until about 3pm when the rain is supposed to come again and then we will pull her back undercover for the night.

The guy who was helping me on the boat was a constant source of pain. Finally accomplished what I needed to with him and think I can get by without having to deal with him on a daily basis anymore. He's very good at what he does but everyone here shies away from him because he's no fun to hang out with. This job is tough enough without making it worse by being a pain in the ass.

Just so you guys know, when I am deep in the boat shed I have no Internet....
Also have a new phone number.

Christine!! How is it going? Any news on classes, gardens, the bridal trail?

OK, off to do a humidity check on the pilothouse roof....

Love you guys way more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
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Jen: I think there is a special place for men who hurt children and have no remorse. Fart Pants has a rack over the fire pit with his name on it. He'll be crackling instead of cackling.

Meanwhile: I'm so sorry you are missing your Sam. I don't want to even imagine what it would be like to lose my husband. I'm really sorry.

Linda: Sorry you are missing your dad, but glad my comments made you smile.

Lildeb: I couldn't take my dad to where my sibs live. The trip is way too far for him to travel safely. I really think it would do him in. I know it would do me in. Can you imagine the bathroom issues on the 2 hour drive to the airport, at the airport, on the plane and then another 2 hours plus to where my sibs live? There is not enough lavender.

Cricket: Put me down for 3 notes to sibs.

Diane: Sending good thoughts your way for a decent week.

Bobbie: Hope you are doing ok and that Florida rain storm didn't reach you.

Angelhair: Good to hear from you and so happy you are loving your classes.

Hugs to all, Cattails.
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Just when you think it can't get worse...it does....Care giving the toughest job you'll ever loathe.....
Mom goes to the trouble of making Daddddeeee favorite food for this 91st, and a little cake and decorates it and of course he has a huge coughing choking fit and then (and no, I am not surprised) refuses to have any cake...You want to hurt my mom, reject her cooking...That about do it... I go walk my dog, get back he is on card number two......................................................................................................................................................................................Yes, can I leave now?

He's been looking at me for three days waiting for mt to say something about his hair cut, you know what there is of his hair, waiting for me to say how good it looks....Isn't it enough he gets to mentally masturbate to pictures of his great grand child, age 5, just leave me alone!!!!
Today he has blood on his arm tell mom (lies) always blame something else the wheel chair the carpet the shoes......He crabs while she tried to clean it up and wrap it. now in cackling at W C Fields. I just want this to end...and who doesn't...well the bad for some any way, for me, I am afraid it is all bad....

It is just enough God enough.....I've had enough, no thank you I've had enough...

Ah more banging next door, been two months of that, and he does it at 3 AM like he thinks we wont notice....Just when is this over, having gallbladder issues, can that kill me? Pleasant thought....

Have a sane week everyone, what ever that may mean now....
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Ah Meanwhile, you've got a little swimming hole? that sounds great!

I say we have Evil Cricket write a generic note for each of us to use for the sibs at the first available opportunities. Then all we have to do is take them to sibs and pin the notes on them. LOL Others will have no appreciation for what we do unless they are faced with it themselves for a few days....or at least a week!

Chirp chirpღ
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Angel, good luck with your test.
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I'm with Linda, I would gladly wipe my Sam's butt again if I could have him back. Still, sorry about all the mess, Cattails. Linda, I used to live in Missouri, and the chiggers would eat me up. Found if I sprinkled a little sulfur in my clothes, especially around the waist band, would keep the chiggers away.
Cuz, we had a horse get tick fever once. I probably have some of the medicine we gave him still around. Would be happy to send you some, but you might have to adjust the dose.

It is 99 degrees here today. Need to mow the grass, but waiting for it to cool off a little. Even got my cement pond cleaned out and the leaks patched. It is filling up now. It should be ready to jump in by tomorrow.
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Ahhhh...the joys of caregiving. Wiping a shitty butt right in the middle of cooking dinner. So appetizing.......not
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