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Betty, I would drop the fil at her house n not look back. hee, hee. Just joking but it does sound like a great idea. Enjoy your time with your 'own' Father.
Betty: You are an amazing person. For a person who claims they are not the care giver type, all I can say is "YOU ROCK." If it's any comfort, I despise your selfish, narcissistic, lazy-ass SIL too. Love ya, Cattails.
Hey, y'all. Thinking of you and sending you hugs and love. Have been very busy w/FIL's new dietary regimen. Wrote to my selfish, narcissistic, lazy-ass SIL (she lives all of 75 miles from here) to say that her father is continuing to decline physically and mentally and that if she wants to spend time with him while he is still relatively intact, maybe she should consider coming here one weekend a month. (That would give DH and me a break, too, which I did not say.) She replied that she is "too tired" (from her four-day work week and three-day weekends) and said she hopes the new regimen doesn't mean that her father isn't taking her out to brunch on Father's Day! I'm spending this weekend cooking in bulk and freezing food for FIL to have while I'm gone for two weeks, visiting my own father 1,500 miles away. Did I mention that I despise my selfish, narcissistic, lazy-ass SIL?
Kathy, thank you for asking about me. This week has probably been the most difficult for me since I came out the hospital. Spent Monday in the ER to rule out a heart attack, Tuesday went to see the new psychiatrist and he put me on more meds, Wednesday saw the counselor and today I went to work 1/2 day. Still trying to figure out how to buy moms house. I am struggling, but I know I have people (not my family) that offer support and encouragement and I keep trying to put one foot ahead of the other. My b/f has been such a sweetheart. He has been taking care of the wash and cooking meals since he knows I'm just lost right now.
Bobbie, the statistic I heard at the Dementia Dialogues is that a caregiver can suffer from PTSD for up to 5 years after being a caregiver. Be kind to yourself too.
Jen, Mame, Cat, SS,Meanwile, Igore and everyone else my brain won't recall right now, take care of yourselves and seize every opportunity to be good to yourselves. Have a good night dear friends.
Sorry things are so difficult for you right now, Bobbie. Something for all of us to look forward to! Not exactly how any of us planned to spend our "golden years". Hope we all get to meet on the boat someday!
Morning all! I hear ya Austin about good enough. I used to make sure the house looked good before the fam came too Cat and SS... No more. It takes too much of my energy. For friends I may do a little better job-and they are the ones who won't care! So maybe good enough will have to be good enough for ME! After the weekend, if anyone comes, mom will sleep most of Monday away. Messes with the schedule but I just never plan a Dr appt or anything on a Mon just in case! The big deal herenthis summer is that I ALWAYS have had the 4th of July party. Mom would never go anywhere so it was easier getting everyone to come to her. I loved doing it-and was happy she got to see everyone. Last year tho-my bro was sitting with her in her air conditioning and I came in to make sure all was ok. She asked me for some coffee (would NEVER ask my bro-mom's generation didn't ask men to do things for them!) and my bro says-yea, will you get me some too? I am sure I had a look of disgust and disbelief on my face. But I kept my mouth shut for fear of what might come out and I went and got the coffee. Hubby and I had been saying that the party had just become too much work and wasn't as fun anymore..so we told everyone that next year someone else had to do it. They said-"what if mom won't come?" Whatever-we will will deal w/that when the time comes! I just don't have the energy to be that hostess/doormat anymore! Never should have let it get there I guess, but you don't realize what has happened till it is too late. Even this Easter at my sisters, if mom had to pee-I had to take her. And when it was time to eat, I got her her food... C'mon guys-can I ever have a break???!!!! So, like you Cattails, I am learning to say NO! And the sting of when they won't come cause you aren't catering to their every need is painful. I am sorry it has to be this way-BECAUSE it really doesn't HAVE to be this way!!!!!
Deef-I am just like you-exhausted getting mom ready by the time I get to go do what I want I'd rather take a nap! And I have learned to lower my expectations and not get too excited about my plans cause if something gets in the way it is devistating to me! Then I am sad or grumpy for hours! I literally have to talk to myself to keep the expectations low cause I can't get myself out of the place it puts me when it doesn't work out. I get in that mood where I just say "it is easire to do nothing and go nowhere-just stay in this house, on schedule with no hopes or expectations". And at those times I do believe that is the only way I will get through this caregiving life. It is tough! SS-It amazes me how many people who were given everything (bipolar or not) are ungreatful and just want and expect more. The one's who have to work at everything usually turn out to be the better person-which you are a good example of! Wish we could all have a get together on some beautiful beach somewhere and have waiters bringing us our food and drinks and all for FREE! Bobbie can come and take us all for a nice boat ride! To not have a care in the world-what a dream! Love you all! Mame
Catails, No one comes her anymore either. And I used to do the same, cook great meals, clean, set up site seeing etc..They don't come becasue if they did, it would remind them of all the hardship that is going on and they simply can't handle their own guilt. Dad went into a nursing home in January.My brother calls him occasionally but he hasn't actually seen either Mom or Dad in two years. I just don't get it. My sister, different story, bipolar and I can't believe she still has custody of her kids. She came a few months ago, casued trouble and didn't even go and see her father. She blames him for her mess of a life. We had a good childhood, no one abused us, we had all the toys and gadgets. He sent her to the finest college, a trip to France, bought her her first car, got her job and SHE BLAMES HIM? I didn't get to finish four years straight because my parents ran out of money, bought my own car cash at 18 and got a job.
Mental illness is a scary thing and she's got it bad. Leaves every doctor that diagnoses her becasue she won't accept it. It is sad, but she is lethal and I need to keep her far away from my family.
Deef: No one will ever be able to call you a moss back. You move way to much for any of that to grow on you.
When we first moved here, I use to love when my sibs would come to visit. I'd knock myself out to make them comfortable and do family meals, etc. Between our house and my parents place across the driveway, there was room for everyone to stay. Of course, I had to clean both houses and blah, blah.
After a few years of it, I started to feel like the flippin Holiday Inn. Totally my fault, but I was exhausted by the time everyone left. Of course, they didn't always come at the same time, so it was like a revolving door.
After my mom died, I switched to eating out more when company came. They were welcome to stay with us, but I cut back on cooking. Of course the cleaning and having basics ready for company continued.
Since my dad had his stroke, I've really cut back. They can stay at my dad's place, but I don't do meals, plus they can watch dad for a few hours and give Warren and I a break. Finally got my boundaries set and no one comes anymore. Last all 3 were here was last July after dad's stroke. My brother, Robert came up for two days, I don't even remember when it was, maybe January or Feb. Everyone is busy.
Mame and Sue, glad you had your visits. Mame, enjoy the girlfriends for sure. Wish I could be there too. Sounds like a really good time.
Company is nice, but anything new added to the mix can throw everything off. Mom does not do well when company shows up. It usually takes us a couple days to get her back to normal. Then there's the making sure the house is clean and the bad smells are gone. Since we are already tired, having to entertain someone else adds to the stress. Yes, we love our family and want to see them, but it's also good when they are gone. What I hate more, is making plans to do something for myself and then having everything go wrong! I'm at the point where I feel that making plans is a bad idea. Things happen like Mom gets sick, or Merry shows up an hour late, or my friend has to cancel, or..... Seems like being last minute and just going off to do something without a plan, works better for me. And, getting everything set up for Mom before I leave kind of takes the fun out of going! Anyway, Mame, Sue, I'm glad you both had good visits with your sons. I'm lucky that my daughter and her husband live in the apartment above us. I can see them anytime I want, and they are a great help for me. Mame, hope you have a great time with your friends! Diane, where are you? Are things any better for you? Judy, Hope your procedure went well and you are back home resting. Jen, How was your day? Got a big Powerball jackpot going on ! Got the lawn mowed and the garden weeded this morning. Got some summer squash and cukes on the plants already! All that rain we've been having, is turning everything into a jungle! Next thing I have to do is get the pool clean up and ready for the heat! Mom is sleeping good again tonight. Now if only I can! My RLS was really bad last night and kept me up until 3AM. then I had to get up early and get Mom off to daycare. When I got back I decided to do the lawn before it rained again. Okay, I have 4 cats staring at me! Time for their dinner!
Mame4 remember good enough is good enough-they are comming to visit not to check out your cleaning-just have a good time-my husband always worried about everything and it drove me crazy.
Mame, I know about the schedule thing, if I can follow a daily routine things go smoothly, but with younger people around, we tend to stay up really late, get less sleep, and tired, etc. I wish i was one of those who only need a few hrs of sleep and can still function., your cookout sounds like fun. Might as well have the party at your house, don't have to drive home.:)
Deef-after reading your comment-it's hard to say which scenario is worse! I guess it depends where we are in this mess! I am sorry this is so hard...for all of us! Hugs! Mame
As for mom calling my name-it is terrible-I hear it and I just cringe sometimes! And when she is gone, I may have said this befor-but I am taking a hammer to the monitors!!!! I will probably think I hear her calling me for a long time after!!!
SS-my son has been home for a month and altho without him it is lonly-I was surprised how much harder it was with him here. I felt pulled in so many directions! He just left to visit a friend for 3 weeks and I feel terrible saying it but I am kind of relieved. THAT makes me feel horrible! I just have a good schedule with mom right now-and the least little thing upsets the apple cart! Not sure who that is worse for-me or her! He will be back here and then go back to college a month or so after that. Maybe now that I know how it is when he is back (This was his first year at college) I can figure out how to enjoy him more. I am really excited cause I am having 5 girlfriends over Saturday eve for a cook out and evening of adult beverages... My bro and my hubby are going to care for mom so I am hoping for no interruptions! I am looking at my house and gardens and would love the time and energy to clean it all up spic and span-but hell, after a few beers-who cares right??? I just want to laugh and enjoy my high school girl friends! I'll do the best I can and save some energy for fun! Hugs to you all! Mame
Mame, I guess it's a good thing my Mom is so far gone. She doesn't say when she needs to go, just gets agitated beyond belief when she needs to poop. The PD makes it difficult for her body to perform the usual body functions, thus the poop backups and then the poop marathons! But at least I don't have to hear "I have to go peeeeee!!!!!"
My Mom takes lasix also, and it is probably the cause of the recurring UTI's. I can't sit her on the commode all day. My sons left , back to San Diego. Waa Waa. Now I feel lonely again. Just Mom and I here now. I'm going to jtry renting upstairs again, and am trying to get in mind the kind of person who could fit in here. They could have the upstairs, 4 rooms, but we would need to share the kitchen, laundry. I also really want to get a part time job, just three half days a week , to get out around people. Something low stress! Or at least somewhat fun, interesting? Hi to all. :)
Was soooooooo hoping that when mom went off the coumadin that she would also go off the lasix...that urge it gives her to pee (NOW!) is awful when you get up as slow as she does-and of course can't without me. She will continue to take it cause of the prednisone she takes... I am feeling so tired today and really don't want to have to run in a few minutes...and remind her that she has her depends on as she is calling my name and yelling-"I gotta goooooo" or "I'm gonna wet my pants!" Poor thing... No, this was not a commercial announcment for any of the above medical products! Do you watch Hot in Cleveland? Wish I could get $$ everytime I mentioned a product!!! We'd all be rich! haha
Deef: I tend to agree with your FIL. It's scary these days and I do worry. Just for the record Deef, you have to admit that my quote was hardly the source of the problem.
I know I missed something.. I saw "Wisdom from" and thought it said frogs. I read it too fast...knew it when I got to sit silently and nuzzle...wait a minute ?....
I have no idea why...
he is in there, cackling like a loon to an old movie....God help us, his life is better NOW than it was before, he will never die at this rate...
Am making a new sign for WASHING YER DAMN HANDS to put up in the bathroom....
The birthday party went really well. Just been busy trying to catch up on things. Cricket, of course you take care of an 18 year old dog. It is in your nature. I've never had a dog that old, but I have 2 horses that are 30 years old. They are both still sound, and we try to keep them excersised. One us actually my sister's horse. He got to feeling bad last winter, ended up putting him on K+ supplements, and acid reflux medication. It takes 20 pills every day. But, he is feeling much better, even if he is mostly blind. My sister still rides him all over. You would never know he can't see, by the way he moves. Have to be careful feeding him though, he will knock you over. Not on purpose. Have to get to bed so I can get up early for work tomorrow.
Had to do my drains in the middle of my post, so I missed yours Diane. Glad you got your meds checked and adjusted. Know what you mean about COBRA. We just paid our insurance last week. My husband has 6 unemployment checks left and then he will be on SS. That will be less than he is getting now because he will only be 64 in October. We will need to get health insurance right away or have to each pay a $400 fine when we do our state tax return. Imagine that! Paying a penalty for not having insurance! We will probably end up on a state plan, most likely the one just above welfare.Don't know what else to do, we need the health insurance for meds. Told my husband if he doesn't get a part time job, he is going to have to go and apply for food stamps and fuel aid too. I'm hoping that will scare and or embarrass him into looking for some kind of work. I'm going to have to see if I can find something part time where I can work either the hours Mom is in daycare, or on the weekends when Merry is here. Businesses are always looking for weekend help. We'll see, we need to do something fast or we will be in dire straights before winter. I really feel for those who have it even worse than us. There just doesn't seem to be an end to all the problems with the economy. Us little people keep losing ground, while the rich are getting richer off of our losses. Something has to give eventually. My FIL will be 102 in July and lived through the Great Depression. He says things were never this bad even back then. He is an avid reader and watches the news all the time, so he's up on the financial problems that are occurring all over the planet. He says he's waiting to see the second "depression" to come about during his lifetime.
Cattails, I think I'll let that one slide! Caused too much trouble on another thread. Lildeb, Love the descriptions! Make me feel right at home. Mom was wired today. Tooled around and around in circles in her wheelchair. been quite some time since she has done that! Must be the full moon. Her appetite is back and so is her feisty What a time I had getting her to bed last night. Tonight I slipped her another seroquel per her neurologist. I let her sit up and watch Mash for an hour, and by then she was almost asleep in her chair. Got her in bed and it was "lights out"!!!! Had some energy, so I bleached the cat litter boxes (we have 4 cats) and washed the bathroom and kitchen floors. the sink drain was getting clogged again, so I put some Draino in and have to flush the drains in a few minutes. What I really need is a plumber to replace the pipes under my kitchen sink and the waste pipe on my side of the house, in the cellar. But that will have to wait until I have some $$. In the meantime, I man the plunger, a lot! Cricket, I have many, many, many, tree frog tadpoles floating in my pool cover right now. It's supposed to stay cool all this week, so I need to get the cover off and fix the leak in the liner and get that sucker ready for summer. Diane, I hope you are doing okay on your end. Let us know how you are. Jen, FP at daycare today? Keep buying those lottery tickets! Was it Mame or Meanwhile that had the party? Hope you all had a great time. Judy, how are you today? SSkape, how is the visit going? Bobbie, Any more storms? Tbailey, where are you? Okay, Got to check Mom!
Hi Y'all, Just took mom for a "walk" using the hoveround. OY VEY!!!!!! Mom ran over the neighbors flowers, aimed for the cat and missed the dog! Oh well, if she would stop snapping at me she would find out its actually fun. The thought of doing anything for herself is overwhelming. This is so unlike my mother from her younger days. She loved gadgets and learning new stuff. I went to the new psychiatrist today and he has prescribe another medication to augment the antidepressant. Plus he put me on folic acid which helps antidepressants work more effectively too. After my appointment I went to the bank and took out my last piece of expensive jewelry to pay a couple more months of the b/f's COBRA. If he lets the COBRA lapse he will be uninsured and his heart attack caan then be used as a pre-existing condition for future policies. I'm evidently in one of those spells in life where shit just continuously happens. Hopefully I will get to a less stressful place one day. SS, girl, what can I say. I have no idea why elders seem to think we find their bodily functions as interesting as they do. Before mom was unable to care for herself she had started telling me about every BM. I don't care how long I am a caregiver, I will never get used to the smell of shit. The worst was when mom had C-Diff and had diarrhea for 7days. I thought I would lose my mind from the grossness! Cricket, love the dog poem. I'll have to bring mine home from the office and type it up for you guys too.
I'm going to watch some of the concert for the queen's jubilee celebrations. Have a good night all and thanks for everyone's concern.
Deef, how you think a bear feels when he can't sh-t? Gr.... I am glad she is feeling much better for that means a bit smoother day for you, maybe. : )
Dflex, I agree with Judy that you may need to get it check out better safe than sorry later. Hopefully, it just a pulled muscle n that takes a while to heal. You can get some of those muscle pads at Walmart or CVS and they help somewhat. I hope you are alright please let us all know how "YOU" are doing.
Ignore, welcome back, I'm a newby and this is a great site to communicate with other people that deal with similar situations. I have no idea what I would do if I never found this site for what a blessing. I hope you like your new job too.
Mame, I agree we all need to stop n just breathe n smell the air a bit. I know I may get some come backs on that one. hee, hee.
Marybeth, have you tried telling him that, 'you are sorry but all of you are doing the best that ya'll can." As for you having a teenager in the house that is a handful in itself sometimes n good luck. They think they r grown but sometimes do or say stupid stuff but, we have been their ourselves one time or two. I have. hang in their n at least you can get a short break with the early-bird riding.
Diane, family sometimes has no clue or don't really want to know or they sometimes just have all the answers which don't fit the situation. blow it off and breathe.
SS, why did you tell her 3 days in advance? That had to be just plum torture for you minuets by minuets, hr by hr the same question. I try to wait for that particular day or the night before if it's going be in the am for an event. The bathroom accident and I'm sorry but that was funny until it happens to me again. Glad I'm not the only one that has someone describing in details her type of sh-t in the bowl. Hey, look on the bright sides, at least she didn't stick her hands in the toliet bowl n pick up a turd or two to squish to prove to you she was not constipated. All I did was asked her for I have powder med for in case she gets constipated again but I didn't need to see her squashing it in between her finger-nail, on toliet roller, n toliet ringer that you push to flush. Hang in their chick and vent, vent, and vent some more. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy. Take naps. Stretch before rising. Run, romp, and play daily. Thrive on attention and let people touch you. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree. When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you’re not. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
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Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
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APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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Bobbie, the statistic I heard at the Dementia Dialogues is that a caregiver can suffer from PTSD for up to 5 years after being a caregiver. Be kind to yourself too.
Jen, Mame, Cat, SS,Meanwile, Igore and everyone else my brain won't recall right now, take care of yourselves and seize every opportunity to be good to yourselves. Have a good night dear friends.
Love ya,
Diane
The big deal herenthis summer is that I ALWAYS have had the 4th of July party. Mom would never go anywhere so it was easier getting everyone to come to her. I loved doing it-and was happy she got to see everyone. Last year tho-my bro was sitting with her in her air conditioning and I came in to make sure all was ok. She asked me for some coffee (would NEVER ask my bro-mom's generation didn't ask men to do things for them!) and my bro says-yea, will you get me some too? I am sure I had a look of disgust and disbelief on my face. But I kept my mouth shut for fear of what might come out and I went and got the coffee. Hubby and I had been saying that the party had just become too much work and wasn't as fun anymore..so we told everyone that next year someone else had to do it. They said-"what if mom won't come?" Whatever-we will will deal w/that when the time comes! I just don't have the energy to be that hostess/doormat anymore! Never should have let it get there I guess, but you don't realize what has happened till it is too late. Even this Easter at my sisters, if mom had to pee-I had to take her. And when it was time to eat, I got her her food... C'mon guys-can I ever have a break???!!!! So, like you Cattails, I am learning to say NO! And the sting of when they won't come cause you aren't catering to their every need is painful. I am sorry it has to be this way-BECAUSE it really doesn't HAVE to be this way!!!!!
Deef-I am just like you-exhausted getting mom ready by the time I get to go do what I want I'd rather take a nap! And I have learned to lower my expectations and not get too excited about my plans cause if something gets in the way it is devistating to me! Then I am sad or grumpy for hours! I literally have to talk to myself to keep the expectations low cause I can't get myself out of the place it puts me when it doesn't work out. I get in that mood where I just say "it is easire to do nothing and go nowhere-just stay in this house, on schedule with no hopes or expectations". And at those times I do believe that is the only way I will get through this caregiving life. It is tough!
SS-It amazes me how many people who were given everything (bipolar or not) are ungreatful and just want and expect more. The one's who have to work at everything usually turn out to be the better person-which you are a good example of!
Wish we could all have a get together on some beautiful beach somewhere and have waiters bringing us our food and drinks and all for FREE! Bobbie can come and take us all for a nice boat ride! To not have a care in the world-what a dream! Love you all! Mame
That's all I've got. PTSD and having flashbacks, no kidding. Whew. Who knew?
lovbob
No one comes her anymore either. And I used to do the same, cook great meals, clean, set up site seeing etc..They don't come becasue if they did, it would remind them of all the hardship that is going on and they simply can't handle their own guilt. Dad went into a nursing home in January.My brother calls him occasionally but he hasn't actually seen either Mom or Dad in two years. I just don't get it. My sister, different story, bipolar and I can't believe she still has custody of her kids. She came a few months ago, casued trouble and didn't even go and see her father. She blames him for her mess of a life. We had a good childhood, no one abused us, we had all the toys and gadgets. He sent her to the finest college, a trip to France, bought her her first car, got her job and SHE BLAMES HIM? I didn't get to finish four years straight because my parents ran out of money, bought my own car cash at 18 and got a job.
Mental illness is a scary thing and she's got it bad. Leaves every doctor that diagnoses her becasue she won't accept it. It is sad, but she is lethal and I need to keep her far away from my family.
Have a good day everyone!
-SS
When we first moved here, I use to love when my sibs would come to visit. I'd knock myself out to make them comfortable and do family meals, etc. Between our house and my parents place across the driveway, there was room for everyone to stay. Of course, I had to clean both houses and blah, blah.
After a few years of it, I started to feel like the flippin Holiday Inn. Totally my fault, but I was exhausted by the time everyone left. Of course, they didn't always come at the same time, so it was like a revolving door.
After my mom died, I switched to eating out more when company came. They were welcome to stay with us, but I cut back on cooking. Of course the cleaning and having basics ready for company continued.
Since my dad had his stroke, I've really cut back. They can stay at my dad's place, but I don't do meals, plus they can watch dad for a few hours and give Warren and I a break. Finally got my boundaries set and no one comes anymore. Last all 3 were here was last July after dad's stroke. My brother, Robert came up for two days, I don't even remember when it was, maybe January or Feb. Everyone is busy.
Mame and Sue, glad you had your visits. Mame, enjoy the girlfriends for sure. Wish I could be there too. Sounds like a really good time.
Hugs everyone, Cattails
What I hate more, is making plans to do something for myself and then having everything go wrong! I'm at the point where I feel that making plans is a bad idea. Things happen like Mom gets sick, or Merry shows up an hour late, or my friend has to cancel, or..... Seems like being last minute and just going off to do something without a plan, works better for me. And, getting everything set up for Mom before I leave kind of takes the fun out of going!
Anyway, Mame, Sue, I'm glad you both had good visits with your sons. I'm lucky that my daughter and her husband live in the apartment above us. I can see them anytime I want, and they are a great help for me.
Mame, hope you have a great time with your friends!
Diane, where are you? Are things any better for you?
Judy, Hope your procedure went well and you are back home resting.
Jen, How was your day? Got a big Powerball jackpot going on !
Got the lawn mowed and the garden weeded this morning. Got some summer squash and cukes on the plants already! All that rain we've been having, is turning everything into a jungle! Next thing I have to do is get the pool clean up and ready for the heat!
Mom is sleeping good again tonight. Now if only I can! My RLS was really bad last night and kept me up until 3AM. then I had to get up early and get Mom off to daycare. When I got back I decided to do the lawn before it rained again.
Okay, I have 4 cats staring at me! Time for their dinner!
As for mom calling my name-it is terrible-I hear it and I just cringe sometimes! And when she is gone, I may have said this befor-but I am taking a hammer to the monitors!!!! I will probably think I hear her calling me for a long time after!!!
SS-my son has been home for a month and altho without him it is lonly-I was surprised how much harder it was with him here. I felt pulled in so many directions! He just left to visit a friend for 3 weeks and I feel terrible saying it but I am kind of relieved. THAT makes me feel horrible! I just have a good schedule with mom right now-and the least little thing upsets the apple cart! Not sure who that is worse for-me or her! He will be back here and then go back to college a month or so after that. Maybe now that I know how it is when he is back (This was his first year at college) I can figure out how to enjoy him more.
I am really excited cause I am having 5 girlfriends over Saturday eve for a cook out and evening of adult beverages... My bro and my hubby are going to care for mom so I am hoping for no interruptions! I am looking at my house and gardens and would love the time and energy to clean it all up spic and span-but hell, after a few beers-who cares right??? I just want to laugh and enjoy my high school girl friends! I'll do the best I can and save some energy for fun!
Hugs to you all! Mame
My sons left , back to San Diego. Waa Waa. Now I feel lonely again. Just Mom and I here now. I'm going to jtry renting upstairs again, and am trying to get in mind the kind of person who could fit in here. They could have the upstairs, 4 rooms, but we would need to share the kitchen, laundry.
I also really want to get a part time job, just three half days a week , to get out around people. Something low stress! Or at least somewhat fun, interesting?
Hi to all. :)
I have no idea why...
he is in there, cackling like a loon to an old movie....God help us, his life is better NOW than it was before, he will never die at this rate...
Am making a new sign for WASHING YER DAMN HANDS to put up in the bathroom....
Lildeb, Love the descriptions! Make me feel right at home. Mom was wired today. Tooled around and around in circles in her wheelchair. been quite some time since she has done that! Must be the full moon. Her appetite is back and so is her feisty What a time I had getting her to bed last night. Tonight I slipped her another seroquel per her neurologist. I let her sit up and watch Mash for an hour, and by then she was almost asleep in her chair. Got her in bed and it was "lights out"!!!!
Had some energy, so I bleached the cat litter boxes (we have 4 cats) and washed the bathroom and kitchen floors. the sink drain was getting clogged again, so I put some Draino in and have to flush the drains in a few minutes. What I really need is a plumber to replace the pipes under my kitchen sink and the waste pipe on my side of the house, in the cellar. But that will have to wait until I have some $$. In the meantime, I man the plunger, a lot!
Cricket, I have many, many, many, tree frog tadpoles floating in my pool cover right now. It's supposed to stay cool all this week, so I need to get the cover off and fix the leak in the liner and get that sucker ready for summer.
Diane, I hope you are doing okay on your end. Let us know how you are.
Jen, FP at daycare today? Keep buying those lottery tickets!
Was it Mame or Meanwhile that had the party? Hope you all had a great time.
Judy, how are you today?
SSkape, how is the visit going?
Bobbie, Any more storms?
Tbailey, where are you?
Okay, Got to check Mom!
Just took mom for a "walk" using the hoveround. OY VEY!!!!!! Mom ran over the neighbors flowers, aimed for the cat and missed the dog! Oh well, if she would stop snapping at me she would find out its actually fun. The thought of doing anything for herself is overwhelming. This is so unlike my mother from her younger days. She loved gadgets and learning new stuff.
I went to the new psychiatrist today and he has prescribe another medication to augment the antidepressant. Plus he put me on folic acid which helps antidepressants work more effectively too.
After my appointment I went to the bank and took out my last piece of expensive jewelry to pay a couple more months of the b/f's COBRA. If he lets the COBRA lapse he will be uninsured and his heart attack caan then be used as a pre-existing condition for future policies. I'm evidently in one of those spells in life where shit just continuously happens. Hopefully I will get to a less stressful place one day.
SS, girl, what can I say. I have no idea why elders seem to think we find their bodily functions as interesting as they do. Before mom was unable to care for herself she had started telling me about every BM. I don't care how long I am a caregiver, I will never get used to the smell of shit. The worst was when mom had C-Diff and had diarrhea for 7days. I thought I would lose my mind from the grossness!
Cricket, love the dog poem. I'll have to bring mine home from the office and type it up for you guys too.
I'm going to watch some of the concert for the queen's jubilee celebrations. Have a good night all and thanks for everyone's concern.
Love ya,
Diane
Dflex, I agree with Judy that you may need to get it check out better safe than sorry later. Hopefully, it just a pulled muscle n that takes a while to heal. You can get some of those muscle pads at Walmart or CVS and they help somewhat. I hope you are alright please let us all know how "YOU" are doing.
Ignore, welcome back, I'm a newby and this is a great site to communicate with other people that deal with similar situations. I have no idea what I would do if I never found this site for what a blessing. I hope you like your new job too.
Mame, I agree we all need to stop n just breathe n smell the air a bit. I know I may get some come backs on that one. hee, hee.
Marybeth, have you tried telling him that, 'you are sorry but all of you are doing the best that ya'll can." As for you having a teenager in the house that is a handful in itself sometimes n good luck. They think they r grown but sometimes do or say stupid stuff but, we have been their ourselves one time or two. I have. hang in their n at least you can get a short break with the early-bird riding.
Diane, family sometimes has no clue or don't really want to know or they sometimes just have all the answers which don't fit the situation. blow it off and breathe.
SS, why did you tell her 3 days in advance? That had to be just plum torture for you minuets by minuets, hr by hr the same question. I try to wait for that particular day or the night before if it's going be in the am for an event. The bathroom accident and I'm sorry but that was funny until it happens to me again. Glad I'm not the only one that has someone describing in details her type of sh-t in the bowl. Hey, look on the bright sides, at least she didn't stick her hands in the toliet bowl n pick up a turd or two to squish to prove to you she was not constipated. All I did was asked her for I have powder med for in case she gets constipated again but I didn't need to see her squashing it in between her finger-nail, on toliet roller, n toliet ringer that you push to flush. Hang in their chick and vent, vent, and vent some more. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn
things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet
them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in
your face to be pure Ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the
grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a
shady tree.
When you’re happy, dance around and wag your
entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you’re not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find
it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit
close by, and nuzzle them gently.