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Ok, Cricket: I will think about a quote over night. By the way, since it is only you and me playing this game, please make sure your next quote is correct. When you make up shit, it raises my psychometer :)
Can I be at 0 on the psychometer? I got nooooo stress today from parents. Talked to Mom a few times by phone today. No drama that needed immediate attention, so I stayed the hell away. Spent a few hours with that sweet brother of mine tonight. Yup. Definitely at 0.
My psychometer broke. I think I stepped on it when I was wiping my dad's ass. Or maybe it was this morning when I was getting him out of his chair for breakfast. I put the walker in front of him and he said, "What's that." Eh?
Just for fun... How about a PSYCHOMETER check in here! Ha! I saw the word being used in an email I got and just had to use it here, after all we all know how psycho we can get. So on a scale of 1-10 on the Psychometer scale what's your number? Mine is pretty good today I think I'm at a low 2, it's been a good day for me.
Diane, I understand home loans are difficult to get approved. The 1st house I ever bought, was owner financed. The house was so old and in need of repairs, that no bank would write a loan on it. It belonged to an elderly lady, and her children had to sell the house to put their Mom in a nursing home. They didn't want to sell their Mother's home. How much better it would have been if one of them could have bought it.
Christina, I love your posts. But, I still think men are dogs. I love dogs, they are adorable, but hard to house break, and they always want to jump on you.
I thought I was just plain mean when I would get so stressed out taking care of my mom without any help. Now, I feel better because I realize others feel the same at times.
Thanks, bobbie! But.... I don't do a tenth of what other people do. The parents don't live with me, and I get breaks from the 3 ring circus that they've got going on at their house.... like today! I'm in awe and humbled by what caregivers do here. My gig is a piece of cake. I'm just the driver, errand runner, complaint department, etc. You could say I'm their....gopher.... :)
yup... That's what happens when you combine rippin current and laughing too hard. It's all ok, no one was mangled, we're still floating and the 2x4 actually blends in...
All you women are amazing.
Christina! write on!
Meanwhile! Way to Go Indigo! What a blessing he is!
Deef! the siblings get a big poopy skunk boil right in their noseholes!
Jen! A flock of pot bellied pigs would be easier to take care of than FP..
Diane! there's got to be a way for you to stay.... I like what Cattails said. It was Cattails I think?
Cricket! Love the Group Hug! and thanks for my hug!
Cuz! Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Show a man how to fish and he will sit in the boat and drink beer all day...
Kuli! so glad to see from you and so sorry that you are in the black hole. Man oh man I know that you know that I know what you are dealing with. Glad you are reading and I know it was hard for me to start to write again because I was so shot out. So glad to see you and thanks for the love. I know that you're there reading and it really helps me as well.
Linda! what's the news on your husband's tests?
ssk! sorry that the renter was a putz. Bet he's got a sibling that's taking care of his mother while he slips out like a thief in the night...
tbailey! mothballs! how many moths do you have to catch?
Hey Tex! welcome to the asylum! Vent and Live!
lildeb! glad you're here!
JudymW! thanks for the note on my wall! The human jerky line was priceless but I understand the pain that you must be feeling to be stuck there like that. I was stuck too, for over 7 years by the time it was all over. Sometimes I think that I am getting better and then I will slide off into melancholy. It's a process. Not just the caregiving part but the recovery from the Aftermath of Caregiving. The fact that you are caring for TWO elderly parents is mind boggling. If you can get anyone, even Charles Manson, for a morning or afternoon to give you a freaking break, omg please do it. Use film therapy!! Of course it's getting to you. You are a thinking, reasoning human being and doing what you are doing is not reasonable at all. Good luck and make a PLAN. Love you kiddo. Like Mammy said in Gone With The Wind: It ain't fittin. It just ain't fittin.
Mame! what's up stuff?? Thanks for the hug! Love ya back!
annt! thanks for checking in and I/we have thought of you often. how goes it all?
Angelhair!! where are you and how are you?
Angie! how's it going with your mom?
Hope BettyB shows up again.... Vent and .. oh ya you guys get it....
Maxine!! where are you gurl?
Everybody I missed!!!!! Post and chew me out something righteous.
OK, I am trying my best to get my life up on two feet again and just when I think I've got it, I slip.
I read this thread each and every day and my thoughts are with you ladies each and every day. The strength that we give each other here is so perfectly incredible. When some are weak, others stand and fight for them. We share the pain and heartbreak and when one of us is set free we share the grief and then we try and steer towards the joy. But experience has taught us that that doesn't always work and the grief lingers on and on. For those of us that had troubled childhoods and then found ourselves deep in the vortex of caregiving our grief is no less than those who had the most loving of childhoods. With Dementia, as in other wasting diseases, we grieve before and then grieve after. And, we grieve for ourselves. And that is fair.
I love you guys way more than you'll ever know. lovbob
I just read that ammonia works if you pour it down the gopher hole. Would it hurt him or just make him want to move though? And... what if he just moves 6 feet over and tunnels again? I say trap the little bastard and relocate him to the flower beds of someone you don't like. I've got a few neighbors I'd like to gopher. Maybe you can send him here :) ....And... my husband snores like a rabid warthog. Can men be warthogs too? Not just pigs and dogs? Had a GREAT day today....because I didn't go to Mom's! Wooohoo! Screw that pool. I just didn't feel like messing with it. Its supposed to be 106 or 108 degrees today and it feels every degree of it.113 forecasted for tomorrow. OMG. I ran late at 2 doc appointments for myself and then just decided not to go to Mom's. Playing hooky. Oh, ya. Its a good day.
Christina: My comment was not meant to put down your comment. I'm sorry if you took it that way. Good luck with the moth balls and maybe you should use gloves, like tbailey said, to keep the human sent off of everything.
Christina, I thought your post was awesome! I think you should continue to speak out as often as you like! And why not because everyone else does!! I might not agree with everyone's opinions but I still value them and hope we all have that in common. Love you Chris!!!
Jen, You already have a pet Pig, he's called Fartpants.. o.O lol I couldn't resist!
Meanwhile2 I'm really glad you have Indigo in your life no matter what state the relationship is in. He is a blessing to you. We all need to take our blessings where we can get them.
Today my Hubby watched Dad so I went camping at the Salon! weeeeeeee! I treated myself to a Mani/Pedi and a massage. Now I'm so relaxed I feel like a worthless piece of shit, LOL
OMG Deef, I pray for Angels to be your invisible helpers, and if your siblings even dare to complain about smells tell them it's because you are so exhausted from doing all the caregiving by yourself and barely even have time to take care of your own needs.. if they continue tell them you could really use their help. Even if you have Merry, Day Care, your Mom is still in need of full time care. You hang in there. We are all here for you.
I would love to comment to everyone but it's time to go make dinner now. Have a good night everyone. ...............¨♥*✫♥,☀ .........,•✯´.........´*✫ .......♥*................•✯ .......*♥............… ...✫ ...¸.•✫.............……♥*•✫ ...~`,`~................* ¸....✫....Group Hug! *✫♥* ´¸...*♥..´¸...........*♥ ´¸¸♥*...............¸.• ´¸.•✫ ............. ~`,`~............. `.✫`.............. ●/................ /▌................ / \................*´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Deef: Your mom's PD is so awful. Just getting her up, washed, dressed and fed sounds like a full day's work...and it's just the beginning. Hope she is better soon, Merry gets back and you get some rest.
Enough rambling! Cricket, you are so busy! Hope you get some "me" time. Susan, so happy you will have company! I know how much you miss your boys. Linda, Hope your husband's test goes well. I too plan to sleep in a lot when Mom is gone. That's a luxury none of us gets to enjoy. Meanwhile, sounds like you had a busy week with your mom. My fil will turn 102 in July and is going to have cataract surgery too. He says he misses reading. Diane, sorry about the house situation. Sure hope you can find a solution. I know in this state there is a law that they can't take the home away from someone who is caring for a parent. Check into that in your state. Kuli!!!!! You have a new baby!!! Glad to see you are doing better. Rip keeps me posted. Jen, It is what it is. When I get back out there, Rip and I are going to kidnap you and take you away!!!!!!! Talltexan, Know all about the "gross" stuff! I gag all the time with my Mom. One example, she will use a snotty tissue to clean the table or anything else she is near! Always a challenge to keep my food down. Okay, told my husband I was staying home to clean, so I better get the vacuum out before he returns! Bobbie!!!!!! Men, I"ve got one you can have!!!!
yes, lildeb, I am going to try the mothballs today. The gopher is starting to come up through the lawn now, not just the flower bed. Thank you! Have a good day:)
Husband is off to pay our health insurance for another month, so I actually have a few moments to catch up! What a week from hell!!! My cold is at least getting better. Mom ended up with a raging UTI and we spent 4 hours at the ER on Monday. Merry came for a few hours to sit with her and I decided that I couldn't deal with Mom another night. She was moaning and gyrating constantly for 2 nights. I thought it was her cold, but her diaper was nasty Monday morning. Merry has been keeping her son's 3 year old step daughter for a few days and I was hoping she would not have her on Monday, but no such luck!!! So not only did I have a raving demented Mom at the ER, but also an energetic 3 year old to keep in check! We got there just before the holiday crowd started to come rolling in and the nurse that did all the paperwork and prep was older, and on the ball! She got Mom signed in, undressed, and ready to roll in no time, with Merry helping to speed things along. I sat back and held down the kid. They took urine with a catheter and chest x-rays, and blood. Lungs were clear, urine was nasty and blood was good. So they gave Mom antibiotics by IV and some fluids. This took about an hour, so we had to hold her arms down to keep her from pulling out the IV the whole time. Once the antibiotic was in, we couldn't hold her down anymore, so we got her dressed and ready to roll while the paperwork was processed. As soon as we got home, Merry had to leave and I was on my own with Mom. The day was not over! My younger sister who just had major colon surgery in March had called to say she was driving up to visit, as I was trying to get ready to take mom to the ER. I told her I would keep her updated as I thought we would be home in time for her visit. The visit was okay, except for the fact that Mom didn't even know who she was, maybe because she only sees my sister 2 or 3 times a year, even though she is only 45 minutes away! The house was a mess, because I was sick and barely able to get laundry done, never mind vacuum etc. the house was full of dust and cat hair, which my sister is highly allergic to, and the smelly night time diaper was still in the bathroom trash. I am immune to those smells now, but my sibs are not, and never fail to comment on the smells in Mom's apartment. Sister went home and I put Mom to bed for a nap. Had a major hard time getting her to open her mouth for meds and supper. To top it all off, it was really hot and humid here for a few days. That did not help my asthma or my mood! That night the kitchen sink drain clogged, AGAIN!!!! Tuesday I had a doctor appt and Merry was coming to watch Mom for a few hours. I had to get Mom up and washed, dressed and fed, then try to get myself cleaned up and ready. Merry was a half hour late and I barely made it to my appt. Guess what? My blood pressure was up! Doctor said why is that? Well, you can bet I let out a tirade of my last couple of days! He didn't have much to say after that! Mom had daycare yesterday and today. Tomorrow I have to drive her to the neurologist who is 45 minutes away. That will be a fun day too! In the meantime we have gotten some much needed rain the last 3 nights. At least I don't have to water the garden for a couple days!
cattails, I am saying there is a lot of pain behind comments made about any group in society being negatively categorized as pigs or dogs. I offered another perspective which I thought could be taken as a positive alternative. I just don't put things right, I guess. Sorry if my input did not sit well on the Grossed Out thread. I need to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself. I apologize. Christina
Judy When we first moved to country my hubby was a city boy and turning into country boy in 20's he had alot of old farmers advice I seen one the other day and asked him he said goffer well nothing works ha ha he he. then he said if they have a tunnel built u can get a catch & release trap but out of all he has tried they hate castor oil.... maybe you could try. Who knows till you try.he said use gloves if you put anything in hole so they dont smell your scent.....
kjgb71, Did you find out why she threw her dentures away? They may have not been fitting her jaw properly or she just felt like throwing the suckers away. She also sounds too familiar of what my mnl does now. For she use to be very independent, clean and all that stuff. Now that she is living with us, I found out that she never cared for a shower n she never sweats or gets dirty. Yeah right. So,we comprise, I have her now taking a bath once a wk on a certain day n certain time and that seems to work without a fuss sometimes. As for the hair, we still working on at least once a month.
Judy, that was cute talking about the goffer and they seem to be very smart. Christina, I think maybe you n goffer are way over-due for that meeting about, this is my territory n you were here first. What if you threw some moth balls down the hole? I use them in the attatic of our house to keep squarrals out. Oh, good luck with the meeting n may the best man or woman win. ; )
Cattail, I hope you are doing fine. Bobbie, just me thinking of a boat n the waves make me nausated n that poor kitty. Next time bring kitty to me. Everyone have a nice day.
Linda09, my heart goes out to you about your dad suffering n that they did not find anything on his x-rays. He is a true Warrior and not to mention that he fought for our country, what a great man. My son had to go oversea's to Iraq & Afghansitan four tours withing his eight yr services before he got out. He spent a at least 1 to 1.5 years for each one and he is only 29 yrs of age. On the otherhand, it sounds like you got to catch up on your sleep somewhat. It sounds like you husband may need a stent or change of medication if he is not already on something for his heart. I take coreg and it been working great. Let me go knock on some wood. My husband use to have a sailboat until he took me to the doc. I could not even get on the thing for I was already getting sick just looking at the boat n the water. So, the poor thing sold it. He did later by something called, cameroon? I cannot spell it but it looks like a small sail boat and it very low to the water. I definantly will not get on that one. I think he is going to try n sale it for he hasn't gotten on it for years himself. I think he tried it about 2-4 times when he first got it. Anyway, I hope the test go okay with your hubby and hopefully he just needs some meds tweaking.
Christina: I don't have a problem with men and I don't have a problem with women either. I don't remember how we got started on men, maybe it was Bobbie's comments. But I know some men are not fit for human consumption and if they have crapped on their families and are now hitting on women who might be a little more discerning....like Bobbie was saying.
Not saying women are saints. As far as parents go, I can't give you a preference for parents. Both of mine were not really there for me as they were wrapped up with their own shit. They did the best they could given what they knew. If they could have done better, then they would have.
I will say this; I do love my women friends. They are good people and the ones I gravitate to are those who can be strong and forgiving. Forgiveness is for everyone, it's not gender based and trust shouldn't be either.
Yeah, we love our animals because they forgive us. They make us feel good about ourselves. They love us unconditionally. If we cry, they come up and put a paw on our leg, their ears are back and their eyes are worried. They feel for us!!! We don't need to explain. It's all been said.
If a person wants that same acceptance, then they need to reach out too. Or we can reach out. Still requires putting that paw out there and hoping for a pat on the head in return. Maybe that's a good doggie lesson. The heart is large for those who offer a pet in return for love.
I like men a lot more than I like women, in general. Maybe because my Dad showed me love. I learned how to just be with someone and have a good time. It's funny how our first relationships impress so deeply. I trust men, I don't trust most women. Men are easy to please. Women are mostly manipulators for attention. They are jealous and spiteful. Doesn't that sound mean and biased to those of you who think men are pigs or dogs? However, it rings pretty true for those who had "mean mothers." All people are lovable and worthy to be respected. People want to be accepted and loved. They deserve a chance to redeem themselves, even to be forgiven. To begin to relax antagonistic feelings toward another is also a sign one is accepting oneself and expanding compassion. Taking the step to forgive or accept when it is difficult is an act of self-compassion. As we treat others, we receive in return. It is so easy to show this type of acceptance and affection to an animal--why? Do we view them as innocent, more deserving of love since they have never hurt us? Or because they accept us without question? What if a person wants that same acceptance? What if it is YOU and there is an imagined stigma surrounding you? How outcast you will feel. Someone has to make the first step to accept or forgive and have compassion. How scary it is to be in that position, but how strong it can make you, erasing the fear once you proceed. It can change the world, one person at a time, one relationship, then move out from there like the ripples of a pebble thrown into the water. Once we begin to show love to one who once we could not love, nor did we receive love from them, it becomes clear that the person was also afraid of not being loved and accepted. We can change the world by shifting our perspective, we can begin with ourselves.
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ok... what movie is that?
How about a PSYCHOMETER check in here! Ha! I saw the word being used in an email I got and just had to use it here, after all we all know how psycho we can get. So on a scale of 1-10 on the Psychometer scale what's your number? Mine is pretty good today I think I'm at a low 2, it's been a good day for me.
Bobbie: There is a lot to be said about living again after caregiving. It's a tough road back.
FULL CONTACT YACHTING!!!
yup... That's what happens when you combine rippin current and laughing too hard.
It's all ok, no one was mangled, we're still floating and the 2x4 actually blends in...
All you women are amazing.
Christina! write on!
Meanwhile! Way to Go Indigo! What a blessing he is!
Deef! the siblings get a big poopy skunk boil right in their noseholes!
Jen! A flock of pot bellied pigs would be easier to take care of than FP..
Diane! there's got to be a way for you to stay.... I like what Cattails said. It was Cattails I think?
Cricket! Love the Group Hug! and thanks for my hug!
Cuz! Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Show a man how to fish and he will sit in the boat and drink beer all day...
Kuli! so glad to see from you and so sorry that you are in the black hole. Man oh man I know that you know that I know what you are dealing with. Glad you are reading and I know it was hard for me to start to write again because I was so shot out. So glad to see you and thanks for the love. I know that you're there reading and it really helps me as well.
Linda! what's the news on your husband's tests?
ssk! sorry that the renter was a putz. Bet he's got a sibling that's taking care of his mother while he slips out like a thief in the night...
tbailey! mothballs! how many moths do you have to catch?
Hey Tex! welcome to the asylum! Vent and Live!
lildeb! glad you're here!
JudymW! thanks for the note on my wall! The human jerky line was priceless but I understand the pain that you must be feeling to be stuck there like that. I was stuck too, for over 7 years by the time it was all over. Sometimes I think that I am getting better and then I will slide off into melancholy. It's a process. Not just the caregiving part but the recovery from the Aftermath of Caregiving.
The fact that you are caring for TWO elderly parents is mind boggling. If you can get anyone, even Charles Manson, for a morning or afternoon to give you a freaking break, omg please do it. Use film therapy!!
Of course it's getting to you. You are a thinking, reasoning human being and doing what you are doing is not reasonable at all. Good luck and make a PLAN.
Love you kiddo.
Like Mammy said in Gone With The Wind:
It ain't fittin. It just ain't fittin.
Mame! what's up stuff?? Thanks for the hug! Love ya back!
annt! thanks for checking in and I/we have thought of you often. how goes it all?
Angelhair!! where are you and how are you?
Angie! how's it going with your mom?
Hope BettyB shows up again.... Vent and .. oh ya you guys get it....
Maxine!! where are you gurl?
Everybody I missed!!!!!
Post and chew me out something righteous.
OK, I am trying my best to get my life up on two feet again and just when I think I've got it, I slip.
I read this thread each and every day and my thoughts are with you ladies each and every day. The strength that we give each other here is so perfectly incredible. When some are weak, others stand and fight for them. We share the pain and heartbreak and when one of us is set free we share the grief and then we try and steer towards the joy. But experience has taught us that that doesn't always work and the grief lingers on and on.
For those of us that had troubled childhoods and then found ourselves deep in the vortex of caregiving our grief is no less than those who had the most loving of childhoods.
With Dementia, as in other wasting diseases, we grieve before and then grieve after. And, we grieve for ourselves. And that is fair.
I love you guys way more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
Jen, You already have a pet Pig, he's called Fartpants.. o.O lol I couldn't resist!
Meanwhile2 I'm really glad you have Indigo in your life no matter what state the relationship is in. He is a blessing to you. We all need to take our blessings where we can get them.
Today my Hubby watched Dad so I went camping at the Salon! weeeeeeee! I treated myself to a Mani/Pedi and a massage. Now I'm so relaxed I feel like a worthless piece of shit, LOL
OMG Deef, I pray for Angels to be your invisible helpers, and if your siblings even dare to complain about smells tell them it's because you are so exhausted from doing all the caregiving by yourself and barely even have time to take care of your own needs.. if they continue tell them you could really use their help. Even if you have Merry, Day Care, your Mom is still in need of full time care. You hang in there. We are all here for you.
I would love to comment to everyone but it's time to go make dinner now. Have a good night everyone.
...............¨♥*✫♥,☀
.........,•✯´.........´*✫
.......♥*................•✯
.......*♥............… ...✫
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Susan, so happy you will have company! I know how much you miss your boys.
Linda, Hope your husband's test goes well. I too plan to sleep in a lot when Mom is gone. That's a luxury none of us gets to enjoy.
Meanwhile, sounds like you had a busy week with your mom. My fil will turn 102 in July and is going to have cataract surgery too. He says he misses reading.
Diane, sorry about the house situation. Sure hope you can find a solution. I know in this state there is a law that they can't take the home away from someone who is caring for a parent. Check into that in your state.
Kuli!!!!! You have a new baby!!! Glad to see you are doing better. Rip keeps me posted.
Jen, It is what it is. When I get back out there, Rip and I are going to kidnap you and take you away!!!!!!!
Talltexan, Know all about the "gross" stuff! I gag all the time with my Mom. One example, she will use a snotty tissue to clean the table or anything else she is near! Always a challenge to keep my food down.
Okay, told my husband I was staying home to clean, so I better get the vacuum out before he returns!
Bobbie!!!!!! Men, I"ve got one you can have!!!!
What a week from hell!!! My cold is at least getting better. Mom ended up with a raging UTI and we spent 4 hours at the ER on Monday. Merry came for a few hours to sit with her and I decided that I couldn't deal with Mom another night. She was moaning and gyrating constantly for 2 nights. I thought it was her cold, but her diaper was nasty Monday morning. Merry has been keeping her son's 3 year old step daughter for a few days and I was hoping she would not have her on Monday, but no such luck!!! So not only did I have a raving demented Mom at the ER, but also an energetic 3 year old to keep in check!
We got there just before the holiday crowd started to come rolling in and the nurse that did all the paperwork and prep was older, and on the ball! She got Mom signed in, undressed, and ready to roll in no time, with Merry helping to speed things along. I sat back and held down the kid. They took urine with a catheter and chest x-rays, and blood. Lungs were clear, urine was nasty and blood was good. So they gave Mom antibiotics by IV and some fluids. This took about an hour, so we had to hold her arms down to keep her from pulling out the IV the whole time. Once the antibiotic was in, we couldn't hold her down anymore, so we got her dressed and ready to roll while the paperwork was processed. As soon as we got home, Merry had to leave and I was on my own with Mom.
The day was not over! My younger sister who just had major colon surgery in March had called to say she was driving up to visit, as I was trying to get ready to take mom to the ER. I told her I would keep her updated as I thought we would be home in time for her visit.
The visit was okay, except for the fact that Mom didn't even know who she was, maybe because she only sees my sister 2 or 3 times a year, even though she is only 45 minutes away! The house was a mess, because I was sick and barely able to get laundry done, never mind vacuum etc. the house was full of dust and cat hair, which my sister is highly allergic to, and the smelly night time diaper was still in the bathroom trash. I am immune to those smells now, but my sibs are not, and never fail to comment on the smells in Mom's apartment.
Sister went home and I put Mom to bed for a nap. Had a major hard time getting her to open her mouth for meds and supper. To top it all off, it was really hot and humid here for a few days. That did not help my asthma or my mood! That night the kitchen sink drain clogged, AGAIN!!!!
Tuesday I had a doctor appt and Merry was coming to watch Mom for a few hours. I had to get Mom up and washed, dressed and fed, then try to get myself cleaned up and ready. Merry was a half hour late and I barely made it to my appt.
Guess what? My blood pressure was up! Doctor said why is that? Well, you can bet I let out a tirade of my last couple of days! He didn't have much to say after that!
Mom had daycare yesterday and today. Tomorrow I have to drive her to the neurologist who is 45 minutes away. That will be a fun day too!
In the meantime we have gotten some much needed rain the last 3 nights. At least I don't have to water the garden for a couple days!
I just don't put things right, I guess. Sorry if my input did not sit well on the Grossed Out thread. I need to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself. I apologize. Christina
Judy, that was cute talking about the goffer and they seem to be very smart.
Christina, I think maybe you n goffer are way over-due for that meeting about, this is my territory n you were here first. What if you threw some moth balls down the hole? I use them in the attatic of our house to keep squarrals out. Oh, good luck with the meeting n may the best man or woman win. ; )
Cattail, I hope you are doing fine.
Bobbie, just me thinking of a boat n the waves make me nausated n that poor kitty. Next time bring kitty to me.
Everyone have a nice day.
Not saying women are saints. As far as parents go, I can't give you a preference for parents. Both of mine were not really there for me as they were wrapped up with their own shit. They did the best they could given what they knew. If they could have done better, then they would have.
I will say this; I do love my women friends. They are good people and the ones I gravitate to are those who can be strong and forgiving. Forgiveness is for everyone, it's not gender based and trust shouldn't be either.
Yeah, we love our animals because they forgive us. They make us feel good about ourselves. They love us unconditionally. If we cry, they come up and put a paw on our leg, their ears are back and their eyes are worried. They feel for us!!! We don't need to explain. It's all been said.
If a person wants that same acceptance, then they need to reach out too. Or we can reach out. Still requires putting that paw out there and hoping for a pat on the head in return. Maybe that's a good doggie lesson. The heart is large for those who offer a pet in return for love.
All people are lovable and worthy to be respected. People want to be accepted and loved. They deserve a chance to redeem themselves, even to be forgiven. To begin to relax antagonistic feelings toward another is also a sign one is accepting oneself and expanding compassion. Taking the step to forgive or accept when it is difficult is an act of self-compassion. As we treat others, we receive in return.
It is so easy to show this type of acceptance and affection to an animal--why? Do we view them as innocent, more deserving of love since they have never hurt us? Or because they accept us without question? What if a person wants that same acceptance? What if it is YOU and there is an imagined stigma surrounding you? How outcast you will feel. Someone has to make the first step to accept or forgive and have compassion. How scary it is to be in that position, but how strong it can make you, erasing the fear once you proceed. It can change the world, one person at a time, one relationship, then move out from there like the ripples of a pebble thrown into the water. Once we begin to show love to one who once we could not love, nor did we receive love from them, it becomes clear that the person was also afraid of not being loved and accepted. We can change the world by shifting our perspective, we can begin with ourselves.