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Oh, the reason I sang that particular song was because MIL asked me to because it is the same song that she sang to FIL, per his request, at their wedding.
Thanks for all the comments everybody. I sang really well at the funeral. I got all the way through the song and didn't start tearing up until I was on my way back to my seat. I sang "I've dreamed of you". I don't remember who wrote it, but it was originally sung by Barbra Striesand. Everyone said I did incredible. I don't think I've ever sang that well before. I still take care of GGIL on the days that she's home and MIL is at work. She just extended her mission for two more years! We asked her if she realized that in two years she would be 99 years old. She said "Yes, what's your point?" Anyway, as long as she's happy and it keeps her going then I say let her extend until she's 120 years old. lol I also started school on Tuesday! Yay!!!!! I'm excited about going :). Anyway, it sounds like there has been a lot going on so I just wanted to say good luck to everyone.
Senior Wedding Jacob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, living in Fort Myers, are all excited About their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss The wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they Go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about suppositories and medicine for impotence?"
Pharmacist: "You bet!"
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We sure do."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob: "Adult diapers?"
Pharmacist: "Sure."
Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
Had a bad morning here! Mom still has her cold and lots of (I hate this word) Phlegm in her throat. This morning she bent over in her wheelchair and spit up. I thought she has drooled or dripped her nose onto her hand and wiped it up, then proceeded to finish curling her hair. Well, as I started to feed her, I noticed a puddle on the floor with some pink gunk in it. That was it for me!!! I started gagging and choking like a fool. I can deal with sh!t all day long, but puke just does me in. Mom couldn't figure out what was wrong with me as I tried to compose myself and throw paper towels over the puddle. Thank God I managed to keep my coffee down. After that, I got Mom off to daycare with little trouble. next I had to call my sister who is POA. The cash is getting scarce and the bills are piling up, so we need to take a penalty on Mom's IRA and pull some cash out now. This time next year the whatever is left will finally be penalty free and we can transfer it from the insurance company, back to the bank. Long story short, my sister made me feel like a criminal and wanted to know what had changed from last year to make the $$ so tight now. She monitors Mom's checking account that I make all her deposits to and pay all her bills from. I told her remember we drained all the bank accounts and she just has her monthly income which does not cover all the expenses. Then after I got off the phone, I went through the checkbook and e-mailed her a list of unexpected expenses over the last 6 months, that totaled close to $3000. SOB!!!!! I gave up my job 5 years ago and am so far in debt because of it. No one visits or even tries to help with Mom's paperwork. My name is on everything, so guess who will be in trouble if Mom goes into a NH? me of course!!! I will have to answer for every penny spent. I was near tears all morning after this deal. I have no $$ and Mom's checking account is empty until the 1st. I have to pay Merry on Friday and all of Mom's bills by Tuesday. Her reimbursement check from her LTC is 2 weeks late besides! By supper time I just said "F" it to the whole mess. It's not worth losing my mind over. Things will work out somehow. Diane, I wish you luck in finding a good NH for your mom. I know you won't be happy until you feel it's the right one for her. I watched the final "Dancing with the Stars" It was great! Mame, definitely get your mom to daycare, My mom is a handful, but they are great with her there. She goes M, W, F, from 9 to 3 and is pretty wiped out by the time I pick her up.At first she didn't like it, as she was still somewhat coherent and cognizant of where she was and she was not one to socialize much. After a while she came to like going. Now she asks me the same things every day. Whose car is this? Where are we going? What's this place? I used to get lots done while she was there, but now that my husband has been out of work for over a year, I don't get much done. I did manage to get 12 pairs of curtains washed and ironed and back up in my clean windows last week. Sskape, I'll be like you, sticking it out with Mom until the end if I can. She was sounding nasty tonight from her cold. I may need to get her to the doctor tomorrow to make sure it doesn't turn into pneumonia. I was so nasty and sticky today, that I carried Mom's and my bedroom air conditioners up from the cellar and got them into the windows while my husband was out playing cards. Easier to get things done when he's not around to supervise, if you know what I mean! Tbaily, sounds like you done good with your kids!!! Nance!!!! How are you? Linda, Love going to the casino, but only play so much too! I like the penny and 1/2 penny slots. $20 goes a long way! Cricket, My daughter and sil and I planted our garden on Sunday. We have beans, radishes, tomatoes and green peppers as usual. My daughter wanted cukes and squash too, but I told her they would take over the whole garden. So I decided since we had this big spot in the yard that never grows grass, we might as well dig it up and make a squash-cucumber patch. So we did! I already have tiny cherry tomatoes on 2 of the plants. Christina, Chemical "restraints" is the main reason I won't put Mom into a NH. She is too busy for them to keep an eye on at all times. Bobbie!!!!! Good jokes! I used to hate going anywhere alone, but now I get in my car and take off to parts unknown, just to get away from my husband's constant chatter. I would give my right arm for some time alone! Austin, Did I hear you lost your man friend? Got one here you can have anytime!!! Okay, need to get a few things done before bed. Hope you all have a peaceful night.
Love the jokes Bobbie! Hi all, I just got in from planting some plumbago in the backyard. It was hot here today and I waited until it cooled off a little before doing any gardening. It's good to see posts from Bobbie, Linda and Christina! Everyone have a nice night. Cricketღ
Two fishermen were sitting by the side of a river both holding fishing poles with line in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." With a guilty voice one says, "We don't have one." "If your going to fish in this state, you need fishing licenses. I'm going to have to issue both of you a ticket." said the Game Warden. The second fisherman speaks up, "But officer, we aren't fishing. We have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The Game Warden lifted up the lines and sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "It's nice to see people with good values, I wish more were like you," the Game Warden said as he turned and left with a smile. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the both fishermen started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," one said. "Yeah!" said the other, "It's a good thing he didn't know there are Steelhead trout in this river!"
From the dock the woman watched as the salty old tugboat captain skillfully docked his boat. She was impressed that such an old man would still be doing such a tough job. She decided to wait until the captain disembarked. As he did, she asked him," Captain, what is your secret to leading such a long and productive life?" "Well," he said. "I would have to say it's because I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whisky every week, eat a lot of fatty foods and I never exercise.” “Wow, that's amazing," the woman said. "Exactly how old are you?" He answered, "Thirty-one".
Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains. However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, and then lock it back up. After, he would go about his daily duties. For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope. One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captains’ quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and... The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper, two on two lines: Port Left, Starboard Right
Hi People, Quick hello cause I've been working in the yard all day and need to go see my Mother before they have dinner. Nice to see Bobbie and Linda and lots of newbies since last I visited. School is out for a month and I'm working on a couple of kitchen and bath designs in conjunction with my husband's construction remodels, some landscape and window treatments. Both of us are very busy, more jobs pouring in. I got an "A" in Biological Anthropology and a B in Geology. I did not read enough, honestly, or I could have gotten a better grade. I was stressed out over a few things out of my control, kept procrastinating and avoiding a simple thing like sitting down, reading and taking notes. Anyway, I learned my lesson, changed my study habits, and started focusing on the present moment, being happy happy:) I asked doctor to decrease Mother's Depakote, he did, and she is a bit more alert the last 2 weeks. While the physical stress from caring for her myself is gone but not forgotten, the emotional stress seeing her so scrunched up and blabbering gets to me every visit, and I end up crying. Don't think that will change, but I know I am doing all I can to love her and spend time with her, and her physical needs are being met. She seems happy. Maybe just happy to be alive, even though she has a limited existence. More later. Much love to all you wonderful caregivers, Crew of this fine BOAT. Love, Christina xo
Hi Y'all, I thought I'd check-in while I am cooking. I'm not in the mood to cook, so lord help mom and bf just what they get. At least bf is grilling the chicken, They are getting a mix of veggies - eggplant, mushrooms, spinach with tomato and onions as a side. Really for a fat woman I eat very healthy. Just too much of it though. Bobbie, it doesn't phase me to go do things by myself anymore. There used to be a time it bothered me, but not anymore. I'll have to see if I can get back into doing things when mom gets settled in the NH. Until then I have no social life to worry about.
Linda don't work too hard and give yourself heat stoke. Bobbie already tried that before. I'm glad to see a lot of the "oldies" back on line. The newbies are great, but I've missed my old buddies. Anyone heard from our Cali gals Christina and Pirate? I got an email from Rip and I see her posting on FB.
I'll have to go look for Selfishsibs question and post my reply. I think losing my family has been the hardest thing to face in my role as a caregiver.
Have a good evening dear ones and I'll check-in tomorrow.
hi there u all . been out mowing the ditch and was pourin down sweating ! decided to come in and ck out the GO while i cool off . bobbie - big hugs to u dear . glad you kneed that guy , bet he aint grinnin anymore . lalala ... going to movies sounds great ! been going to casino hopin to win . nope my sister wins ! i only won one time out of 5 yrs worth , shit , 20 bucks is all i play . someday theyre gonna hand me a big ole fat check . ssk- am glad ure back and keepin in touch . i know its sad when elders is headin for nh . not all can handle it . some parents are just plaine mean and has no respect and doesnt appreicate it . my pa always thanked me for everything . give him a bite he says thank you and anuther bite thank u linda . give him a drinkw ith a straw , thank you linda . oh lord i miss my daddy , i like my freedom but hell im at home al the time ! whats the diffrents ? hang in there ssk , youre a girl with a big heart . youre a sweetheart ! flex- i hope u do find a perfect nh for ur mom . it ll give u peace and burden off ur shoulders , you have too much stuff on ur plate to deal with daily , i know u will go ck on ur mom as much as u can . screw them siblings , do what bobbie said , fed x those diapers ohh lala .... id love to see their face when they open the packages hahahahaha . cricket . love that sprinkle of love !! im pourin the love on you . :-) .. ok supper time , whats for supper ? pork chop .. burp . xoxox
Hey Mame, sorry to hear about your cousin's prognosis. sucks for sure. Man, we know that nothing about life is fair and your questioning the reasoning requires no plea for forgiveness. But there isn't any reason. That's the cosmic joke. Life your life with joy because this is it. I hope your cousin does some stuff she has always wanted to do in the time she has and you are able to join in.
Also it is great to see that you are going to get daycare for your mom. Of course she doesn't want to go but so what? You don't necessarily want to be nailed to the floor 24/7 taking care of her either so something has to give.
You understanding that you have a choice is vital to your survival. You have survival instincts and all you have to do is listen to them when they kick in. Not listening to your survival instincts turns you into a victim. Screw that. Congratulations on making that move!
Placement is a good idea when you can pull it off and so is daycare and any other distraction that you, as a caregiver, can come up with FOR YOU. There are resources out the wazoo for the elderly but very few for the caregiver. In a few years there will be more programs to protect the caregiver but right now you protect yourself or you will be sucked into the void of someone else's long slow death and when you get to the other side you will realize that it was all unfair, unbalanced and unjust. Take it from those of us who have been there and done that. Choose Life. Yours!
OK, here's an idea that I love: AMC Theatres has what they call the Stubs program. You buy the card (10-12 bucks) and get to see first run movies at a substantial discount. After you spend 100 bucks you get a free movie or 10 bucks credit can't remember...Where I am now all movies before 6pm on weekdays cost 5 bucks instead of 10. If you go with someone you can take their cash, buy their tickets and get to your 100 bucks faster! I call it film therapy. I will go to the movies alone at the drop of a hat. I will also go to a little cafe or restaurant alone with a book or notebook and not give a tinker's damn whether I'm alone or not. All I know is that I got out of the house (off the boat), had a good time and did something I wanted to do without waiting for someone else to make up their minds or get their ass in gear. Put your mom in daycare and go take a Nascar class for the afternoon... whatever you can do. Film Therapy. oh ya. Gonna see Battleship next.... There's a shock haha.
Thanks everybody for the shout outs, sure is sweet to know that I have some good buddies here. Makes a world of difference and I thank you all again from the bottom of my soul.
Hi All! Just got caught up on the posts. Boy a lot goes on here! I am sad today. Our cousin who is about 68 just found out she has 6 months to live. Right out of the blue! She is sooooo sad and so are all of us. Please forgive me Lord-but I am really questioning the reasoning behind this! Not that there really is any reason. But here we caregivers all are, with our "charges" who have very little quality of life-yet they just keep living! My counselor says that my mom is just not ready to die. What the hell does that mean? She has a choice? So yesterday I told mom I wanted to look into an adult day care for a couple afternoons a week if possible. She is NOT a morning person! Her reaction? "You wanna get rid of me!" I said "Mom, don't you want to be around people and do interesting things besides watch TV all the time?" She said "No, I am happy doing what I do here." Then she asked me, "Aren't you happy?" I just looked at her and said, "Mom, I am bored to tears. And lonly. I need time away." Just cause her quality of life sucks doesn't mean mine has to. She has chosen this. She has been saying no for years to anything I want to do with her or have suggested she do. Or, she had her headache and couldn't go... always an excuse. Now I guess it is time for me to choose something else for her and not let her have an excuse-for both our sakes! She later told me that if I want her to go to daycare then she will. Lips persed, eyes lowered. So, I have contacted one to see what the deal is. She won't be happy at first but will get used to it I am sure. I think the stimulation will be good for her. She was a nurse and when she sees sick people-the nurse in her comes out-so I am sure she will have stories to share when she gets home. (If she remembers!) Anyway...I am just so tired. Our cousin dying makes no sense. She loves life, has interests and (was) in great health! Maybe someday it will all come clear to me...but for now I am baffled! And sad. Mame
gotta post now before I forget Betty Whites off there rockers is on NBC here its a bunch of older people playing pranks on younger people. I love it. Ive always enjoyed candid camera and prank shows the kids are watching sometimes but this is good & how could it not be Betty White is hillarious!!!!On Tonight Wens. around nine here I think I like to watch t.v. when I can laugh. I know some of you might enjoy it.
Hi all! Glad to see everyone here! Hey Bobbie!!!! I have a small, small favor to ask you ALL. I posted a question in the Caregiver Forum, under Caregiver burnout. I am working on a research project based on what we are all going through. I want to try and help others, who aren't here yet, NOT go through what we did. Would you all be so kind as to post a short response to the ONE question. The question is: "What is the ONE thing you wish you knew before you took on being a caregiver?"
I could think of no better group to ask this question to. Your input is very important to me cause I luv you all.
Just because we are not caregivers does not mean we will be gone-look at me some would probably like to see me gone-our friendships can continue with our new normals-I use lots of my experience from here to help in our caregivers support group-at first the leaders both social workers and caregivers did not want us former caregivers on board but they have accepted us and have found without alphabet soup after our names we do know what we are talking about.
Good morning, I'm having coffee and enjoying my peace and quiet before the day gets going. I was glad to hear from Bobbie, Diane, and everyone. Looking at NH's and getting the info is a good idea. I'll probably stick it out with Mom at home, and hope I can make it through. Diane, I hope you get to buy your Mom's house. I have two brothers, and am living in my mom's house. I thought of trying to buy it, but will prob want to move closer to my sons, or if I meet Mr right , etc. I'm just gonna see how I feel when the time comes. I was upset yesterday that "everyone" is opting for NH placement, but now it seems like a good idea for most people. The elder needs a lot of care , and the daughter or son should be able to live their life too. I guess what was upsetting me was losing friends on here, who have developed a similar sense of humor about the grossness of it all. Watched Dancing with the stars last night, good show.
Cricket Love the ART!!! Diane You already sound better so glad you let us know Ive had you in my thoughts & prayers!!!! Hope you cattails is having a great evening!!! My son came and got our one year old female puppy tonight. It's a good thing, he has her brother & was talking about getting another dog. And He is why we got our dog because he had my daughter with him when he picked his up & she wanted it at 10 years old he got big on her before we knew it and very hyper She sweet though but my son & his girlfriend are great kids and they treat there dog like a baby. Our dogs love each other too and he lives 2 hours away so when they use to get together they really wore there selfs out so I'm sure the 4 of them will have a high strung week But, It is really going to help me out. I've really got great kids. My 20 year old has been stepping up spending more time with her sister who is 10 since MIL is here. Cattails grandaughter story got me thinking I'm proud of mine to there pretty good eggs as my grandma use to call me. Ha Have a good evening all..
Just a quick note to say hello. Bobbie, I'm so happy to see you! I was worried since I was texting you and not getting any response.
Went to another NH today and took mom to look. She didn't seem adverse to it, but not too interested either. We go to visit another on Thursday. I'm working on some loan applications, so we will see if I can buy our house and finance mom's care.
Going to watch the finale for Dancing with the Stars. Its a good group so it will be interesting to see who wins.
To 14822garden.. So many good people are caring for their parents far better than their parents ever cared for them, and given the circumstances it takes every ounce of energy and love that they have to do the best they can day to day. It is never encouraging for them to be told "to remember" when for remembering to them is physical, mental, or even sexual abuse... so please stop and consider all possibilities before telling people to remember. What we say to others can be more hurtful than helpful. If you really want to be supportive tell some jokes to help lift peoples spirits, or just plain out ask if there is anything you can say or do to be helpful.
By the way, since making this decision to go with the Medicaid application, we have decided to start making plans to go to Hawaii next March for our 40th wedding anniversary. I've never been there. I would have never considered this two weeks ago, but taking a step towards the Medicaid application has caused a shift in how I am seeing the future.
Bobbie: Thank you for everything you said. We are now at a point where we are going to start a Medicaid application for my dad. Don't know how long this process will take, but the hope is that we can place him in a good facility. I feel better that we are at least starting the process, but it's still sad to me. Your words help me with the guilt I'm feeling. Plus, I get the benefit of the LMAO sections of your post too. You really lift my spirits. I am wishing you the best, as always.. My prayers are with you and boat angel.
Deef: Your words were so on the money. What an honest description of all you deal with everyday.. My dad had such a hard time this morning trying to eat his breakfast. Lifting his cup to drink his juice took so much effort and he gets upset when I try to help him. He just wants to do it himself, which I can understand.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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Angelhair: Thanks for letting us know how the services went and especially your beautiful song. So glad you have started school.
Deef: Sorry about all the financial issues. You have enough stress without having to worry about paying the bills.
Bobbie: Thanks for the jokes.
Take care and have a good day everyone.
Just heard from AnnieGirl in Ireland. Her Mom passed today. Prayers and Irish Blessings sent across the sea to her and family. Peace.
Love ya Cuz
Jacob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, living in Fort Myers, are all excited
About their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss
The wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they
Go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about suppositories and medicine for impotence?"
Pharmacist: "You bet!"
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for
Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We sure do."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob: "Adult diapers?"
Pharmacist: "Sure."
Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
next I had to call my sister who is POA. The cash is getting scarce and the bills are piling up, so we need to take a penalty on Mom's IRA and pull some cash out now. This time next year the whatever is left will finally be penalty free and we can transfer it from the insurance company, back to the bank. Long story short, my sister made me feel like a criminal and wanted to know what had changed from last year to make the $$ so tight now. She monitors Mom's checking account that I make all her deposits to and pay all her bills from. I told her remember we drained all the bank accounts and she just has her monthly income which does not cover all the expenses. Then after I got off the phone, I went through the checkbook and e-mailed her a list of unexpected expenses over the last 6 months, that totaled close to $3000. SOB!!!!! I gave up my job 5 years ago and am so far in debt because of it. No one visits or even tries to help with Mom's paperwork. My name is on everything, so guess who will be in trouble if Mom goes into a NH? me of course!!! I will have to answer for every penny spent. I was near tears all morning after this deal. I have no $$ and Mom's checking account is empty until the 1st. I have to pay Merry on Friday and all of Mom's bills by Tuesday. Her reimbursement check from her LTC is 2 weeks late besides!
By supper time I just said "F" it to the whole mess. It's not worth losing my mind over. Things will work out somehow.
Diane, I wish you luck in finding a good NH for your mom. I know you won't be happy until you feel it's the right one for her. I watched the final "Dancing with the Stars" It was great!
Mame, definitely get your mom to daycare, My mom is a handful, but they are great with her there. She goes M, W, F, from 9 to 3 and is pretty wiped out by the time I pick her up.At first she didn't like it, as she was still somewhat coherent and cognizant of where she was and she was not one to socialize much. After a while she came to like going. Now she asks me the same things every day. Whose car is this? Where are we going? What's this place? I used to get lots done while she was there, but now that my husband has been out of work for over a year, I don't get much done. I did manage to get 12 pairs of curtains washed and ironed and back up in my clean windows last week.
Sskape, I'll be like you, sticking it out with Mom until the end if I can. She was sounding nasty tonight from her cold. I may need to get her to the doctor tomorrow to make sure it doesn't turn into pneumonia. I was so nasty and sticky today, that I carried Mom's and my bedroom air conditioners up from the cellar and got them into the windows while my husband was out playing cards. Easier to get things done when he's not around to supervise, if you know what I mean!
Tbaily, sounds like you done good with your kids!!!
Nance!!!! How are you?
Linda, Love going to the casino, but only play so much too! I like the penny and 1/2 penny slots. $20 goes a long way!
Cricket, My daughter and sil and I planted our garden on Sunday. We have beans, radishes, tomatoes and green peppers as usual. My daughter wanted cukes and squash too, but I told her they would take over the whole garden. So I decided since we had this big spot in the yard that never grows grass, we might as well dig it up and make a squash-cucumber patch. So we did! I already have tiny cherry tomatoes on 2 of the plants.
Christina, Chemical "restraints" is the main reason I won't put Mom into a NH. She is too busy for them to keep an eye on at all times.
Bobbie!!!!! Good jokes! I used to hate going anywhere alone, but now I get in my car and take off to parts unknown, just to get away from my husband's constant chatter. I would give my right arm for some time alone!
Austin, Did I hear you lost your man friend? Got one here you can have anytime!!!
Okay, need to get a few things done before bed. Hope you all have a peaceful night.
ok, this next one is for the Cuz:
Two fishermen were sitting by the side of a river both holding fishing poles with line in the water.
A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."
With a guilty voice one says, "We don't have one."
"If your going to fish in this state, you need fishing licenses. I'm going to have to issue both of you a ticket." said the Game Warden.
The second fisherman speaks up, "But officer, we aren't fishing. We have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The Game Warden lifted up the lines and sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.
"It's nice to see people with good values, I wish more were like you," the Game Warden said as he turned and left with a smile.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the both fishermen started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," one said.
"Yeah!" said the other, "It's a good thing he didn't know there are Steelhead trout in this river!"
“Wow, that's amazing," the woman said. "Exactly how old are you?" He answered, "Thirty-one".
Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did; for years he guided merchant ships all over the world.
Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains. However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe.
In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, and then lock it back up. After, he would go about his daily duties.
For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope.
One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captains’ quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and... The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper, two on two lines: Port Left, Starboard Right
lovbob
Quick hello cause I've been working in the yard all day and need to go see my Mother before they have dinner. Nice to see Bobbie and Linda and lots of newbies since last I visited.
School is out for a month and I'm working on a couple of kitchen and bath designs in conjunction with my husband's construction remodels, some landscape and window treatments. Both of us are very busy, more jobs pouring in.
I got an "A" in Biological Anthropology and a B in Geology. I did not read enough, honestly, or I could have gotten a better grade. I was stressed out over a few things out of my control, kept procrastinating and avoiding a simple thing like sitting down, reading and taking notes. Anyway, I learned my lesson, changed my study habits, and started focusing on the present moment, being happy happy:)
I asked doctor to decrease Mother's Depakote, he did, and she is a bit more alert the last 2 weeks. While the physical stress from caring for her myself is gone but not forgotten, the emotional stress seeing her so scrunched up and blabbering gets to me every visit, and I end up crying. Don't think that will change, but I know I am doing all I can to love her and spend time with her, and her physical needs are being met. She seems happy. Maybe just happy to be alive, even though she has a limited existence.
More later. Much love to all you wonderful caregivers, Crew of this fine BOAT.
Love,
Christina xo
I thought I'd check-in while I am cooking. I'm not in the mood to cook, so lord help mom and bf just what they get. At least bf is grilling the chicken, They are getting a mix of veggies - eggplant, mushrooms, spinach with tomato and onions as a side. Really for a fat woman I eat very healthy. Just too much of it though.
Bobbie, it doesn't phase me to go do things by myself anymore. There used to be a time it bothered me, but not anymore. I'll have to see if I can get back into doing things when mom gets settled in the NH. Until then I have no social life to worry about.
Linda don't work too hard and give yourself heat stoke. Bobbie already tried that before. I'm glad to see a lot of the "oldies" back on line. The newbies are great, but I've missed my old buddies. Anyone heard from our Cali gals Christina and Pirate? I got an email from Rip and I see her posting on FB.
I'll have to go look for Selfishsibs question and post my reply. I think losing my family has been the hardest thing to face in my role as a caregiver.
Have a good evening dear ones and I'll check-in tomorrow.
Love ya,
Diane
bobbie - big hugs to u dear . glad you kneed that guy , bet he aint grinnin anymore . lalala ... going to movies sounds great !
been going to casino hopin to win . nope my sister wins ! i only won one time out of 5 yrs worth , shit , 20 bucks is all i play . someday theyre gonna hand me a big ole fat check .
ssk- am glad ure back and keepin in touch . i know its sad when elders is headin for nh . not all can handle it . some parents are just plaine mean and has no respect and doesnt appreicate it . my pa always thanked me for everything . give him a bite he says thank you and anuther bite thank u linda . give him a drinkw ith a straw , thank you linda . oh lord i miss my daddy , i like my freedom but hell im at home al the time ! whats the diffrents ? hang in there ssk , youre a girl with a big heart . youre a sweetheart !
flex- i hope u do find a perfect nh for ur mom . it ll give u peace and burden off ur shoulders , you have too much stuff on ur plate to deal with daily , i know u will go ck on ur mom as much as u can . screw them siblings , do what bobbie said , fed x those diapers ohh lala .... id love to see their face when they open the packages hahahahaha .
cricket . love that sprinkle of love !! im pourin the love on you . :-) ..
ok supper time , whats for supper ? pork chop .. burp .
xoxox
sorry to hear about your cousin's prognosis. sucks for sure.
Man, we know that nothing about life is fair and your questioning the reasoning requires no plea for forgiveness. But there isn't any reason. That's the cosmic joke. Life your life with joy because this is it.
I hope your cousin does some stuff she has always wanted to do in the time she has and you are able to join in.
Also it is great to see that you are going to get daycare for your mom. Of course she doesn't want to go but so what? You don't necessarily want to be nailed to the floor 24/7 taking care of her either so something has to give.
You understanding that you have a choice is vital to your survival. You have survival instincts and all you have to do is listen to them when they kick in. Not listening to your survival instincts turns you into a victim. Screw that.
Congratulations on making that move!
Placement is a good idea when you can pull it off and so is daycare and any other distraction that you, as a caregiver, can come up with FOR YOU. There are resources out the wazoo for the elderly but very few for the caregiver. In a few years there will be more programs to protect the caregiver but right now you protect yourself or you will be sucked into the void of someone else's long slow death and when you get to the other side you will realize that it was all unfair, unbalanced and unjust.
Take it from those of us who have been there and done that.
Choose Life. Yours!
OK, here's an idea that I love:
AMC Theatres has what they call the Stubs program. You buy the card (10-12 bucks) and get to see first run movies at a substantial discount. After you spend 100 bucks you get a free movie or 10 bucks credit can't remember...Where I am now all movies before 6pm on weekdays cost 5 bucks instead of 10. If you go with someone you can take their cash, buy their tickets and get to your 100 bucks faster!
I call it film therapy. I will go to the movies alone at the drop of a hat. I will also go to a little cafe or restaurant alone with a book or notebook and not give a tinker's damn whether I'm alone or not. All I know is that I got out of the house (off the boat), had a good time and did something I wanted to do without waiting for someone else to make up their minds or get their ass in gear. Put your mom in daycare and go take a Nascar class for the afternoon... whatever you can do.
Film Therapy. oh ya. Gonna see Battleship next.... There's a shock haha.
Thanks everybody for the shout outs, sure is sweet to know that I have some good buddies here. Makes a world of difference and I thank you all again from the bottom of my soul.
lovbob
I am sad today. Our cousin who is about 68 just found out she has 6 months to live. Right out of the blue! She is sooooo sad and so are all of us. Please forgive me Lord-but I am really questioning the reasoning behind this! Not that there really is any reason. But here we caregivers all are, with our "charges" who have very little quality of life-yet they just keep living! My counselor says that my mom is just not ready to die. What the hell does that mean? She has a choice?
So yesterday I told mom I wanted to look into an adult day care for a couple afternoons a week if possible. She is NOT a morning person! Her reaction? "You wanna get rid of me!" I said "Mom, don't you want to be around people and do interesting things besides watch TV all the time?" She said "No, I am happy doing what I do here." Then she asked me, "Aren't you happy?" I just looked at her and said, "Mom, I am bored to tears. And lonly. I need time away." Just cause her quality of life sucks doesn't mean mine has to. She has chosen this. She has been saying no for years to anything I want to do with her or have suggested she do. Or, she had her headache and couldn't go... always an excuse. Now I guess it is time for me to choose something else for her and not let her have an excuse-for both our sakes! She later told me that if I want her to go to daycare then she will. Lips persed, eyes lowered. So, I have contacted one to see what the deal is. She won't be happy at first but will get used to it I am sure. I think the stimulation will be good for her. She was a nurse and when she sees sick people-the nurse in her comes out-so I am sure she will have stories to share when she gets home. (If she remembers!) Anyway...I am just so tired. Our cousin dying makes no sense. She loves life, has interests and (was) in great health! Maybe someday it will all come clear to me...but for now I am baffled! And sad. Mame
I could think of no better group to ask this question to. Your input is very important to me cause I luv you all.
xo
-SS
I was upset yesterday that "everyone" is opting for NH placement, but now it seems like a good idea for most people. The elder needs a lot of care , and the daughter or son should be able to live their life too. I guess what was upsetting me was losing friends on here, who have developed a similar sense of humor about the grossness of it all.
Watched Dancing with the stars last night, good show.
Diane You already sound better so glad you let us know Ive had you in my thoughts & prayers!!!!
Hope you cattails is having a great evening!!! My son came and got our one year old female puppy tonight. It's a good thing, he has her brother & was talking about getting another dog. And He is why we got our dog because he had my daughter with him when he picked his up & she wanted it at 10 years old he got big on her before we knew it and very hyper She sweet though but my son & his girlfriend are great kids and they treat there dog like a baby. Our dogs love each other too and he lives 2 hours away so when they use to get together they really wore there selfs out so I'm sure the 4 of them will have a high strung week But, It is really going to help me out. I've really got great kids. My 20 year old has been stepping up spending more time with her sister who is 10 since MIL is here. Cattails grandaughter story got me thinking I'm proud of mine to there pretty good eggs as my grandma use to call me. Ha Have a good evening all..
Just a quick note to say hello. Bobbie, I'm so happy to see you! I was worried since I was texting you and not getting any response.
Went to another NH today and took mom to look. She didn't seem adverse to it, but not too interested either. We go to visit another on Thursday. I'm working on some loan applications, so we will see if I can buy our house and finance mom's care.
Going to watch the finale for Dancing with the Stars. Its a good group so it will be interesting to see who wins.
Have a good night!
Love ya,
Diane
So many good people are caring for their parents far better than their parents ever cared for them, and given the circumstances it takes every ounce of energy and love that they have to do the best they can day to day. It is never encouraging for them to be told "to remember" when for remembering to them is physical, mental, or even sexual abuse... so please stop and consider all possibilities before telling people to remember. What we say to others can be more hurtful than helpful. If you really want to be supportive tell some jokes to help lift peoples spirits, or just plain out ask if there is anything you can say or do to be helpful.
/▌*˛˚ღ •˚ ˚just here to share a sprinkle of Love★ღ .
/ \ ˚. ★ *˛ ˚♥* ✰。˚ ˚ღ。* ˛˚ ♥ 。✰˚* ˚ ★ღ 。
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Hugs to everyone, Cattails
Deef: Your words were so on the money. What an honest description of all you deal with everyday.. My dad had such a hard time this morning trying to eat his breakfast. Lifting his cup to drink his juice took so much effort and he gets upset when I try to help him. He just wants to do it himself, which I can understand.