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Mom has made this weekend most challenging and with very little sleep. On the plus side I have enrolled in a 6-week course called the Dementia Dialogues. I am hoping this will help save both me and mom some grief. Right now she is about ready to drive me crazy. B/f goes for a stress test tomorrow and has gotten the approval to return to work 5 hours a day. So he should be back at the plant in a few days. I will be lost without him in the evenings. I worked for 5 hours today and have a very busy week ahead of me. I hope you all have a restful night and good week.
Meanwhile & Reba: My heart goes out to you, having lost your husbands. Ironically, it's one of the things that weighs on my heart where my husband or I are concerned. Taking care of my parents for the past 6 1/2 years takes years from us having the chance to do somethings together. We both worked all our lives and this is our retirement. Sometimes I just worry that something will happen to one of us and I will always regret that I didn't make the time for us.
When my mom was alive, my schedule with the parents was unbelievably intense. If Warren and I had a chance to go to Costco together and get a hot dog, we truly felt like we were on a date. The freedom of that small everyday thing was huge to us.
Now, if the sun is shining and we can go outside in our yard together, it one of those special times. The simple freedoms are so special to us and few and far between.
Cricket: Thanks for the you tube tip. I'll look up Louise Hay. By the way, it was Deef who got the taxes finished up. I didn't know you had to pay taxes on LTC.
Reba, sorry for your loss. My husband died in Nov. Still miss him, but I'm starting to get used to him not being around. When I get sad, I try to do something that makes me smile. Even if it is just watching something silly on TV.I confess, I sometimes watch kid cartoons. Playing frisbee with the dog works really well. Lean on friends and family too. Everybody is different, but try to find ways to make yourself happy. Cricket made some really good points about that. Linda, sounds like you had great day. So sweet of you to put the marigolds on the baby's grave. And, finishing off the day with margarita's, not bad either. Wish we were getting some of your rain. It is a dust storm here today, 50mph winds. No throwing the frisbee for Sophie today. Take care everyone.
I am so glad that some of y'all are getting a little bit of a break. As for me, I got hubby watch his mom while I got to water all my front yard plants and I got the opportunity to pull up those blasted wild onions all over the yard. something ate all the grass in a certain area last year and its now trying to grow back in between the wild onions. ; ) Some how my my younging-my cat got a scratch on her cheek while I had her outside on a rope with a harness. So, I cut down the thorny huge rose bush for she does sometimes rub up against it and it can cut you big time. I never liked it anyway for it would bite me too, the rose bush. However, I do like the mini roses for they are not so mean. Hubby even actually got the mnl his mom to go for a walk for a half a block for she has been just laying around. Of course, she was complaining the whole time even though hubby tried to get her attention on the pretty blue sky and the sound of the birds. It does help her when she get back from the short walk. As for the mess at my dad's place, I heard that two pound trucks came out but now sure if they did anything. I'm fed up with kin folks who say they are behind you and then change their mind when push comes to shove. That is the second time us grown children were called by my dad's brother of being concerned about his health. I even took a trip up their and dad is just too stubburn. They call us up and get us all panicky and then leave us out to dry when it comes to being the bad person doing anything! I told one of my brothers that is it! If they want something done they can step up to the plate for a change. As for gaining weight, you can include me in too. I guess being a care-taker has a lot do with it for you don't get enough exercise for you are stuck in the house all the time.That is my excuse for now. Everyone have a great day. ' )
reba ! ill try my darnest to come n see you soon . youre so sweet , take it easy on ur vertigo . theyre a nightmare ! my friend has that pblm . she takes dizzy pills all the time . allgery to alot of trees and plants and pollen and its all around her cabin along the river . poor girl she s always sick . she said she wish she could cut her head off and replace it with better head . bless her heart . bless you too reba .
jsomebody - i sure hope u win the lottery . that would just make u so happy and make me happy too for u . been watching lonesome dove all day . man i love that show ! those hard working guys , what a life back then . i best get my dogs out for a walk . before the rain comes back . been wantin to do it all day but rain came back everytime i started out . hope it doesnt start rainin again lol . xoxo
Hey Deef, I have not had to file in five years, no income no money on paper I am like a non-person..RLS here too but I just figure I do it till I zonk out reading. Sinus head ache not so much zonk able, gah what a pain...walked to 7 11 bought a lotto ticket and a Doughnettes for grandpa as I ate three of his rolls this week...Something different... Reading "Revolt in the Desert by T E Lawrence and enjoying Arab wars of 1914 rather than my day to day life. The mopped floor hmm year lasted what a day?....What ever...Another week another nothing....Have a safe sane weekend all....
Hi all, I am missing Ed, how do you get over it. Such sadness I feel. With the vertigo I can't take a trip. would go see Linda09, she makes sunshine come into my life. Such a sweet person. I have met a lot of sweet people on here and some not so sweet but they have their reasons if they are taking care of someones. I had my bad days where I wanted to bite the world. Be good to the person you are taking care of becuase one day it could be you. Have a great weekend. God bless.
Good afternoon all, Meanwhile2, You have a sign on your forehead that announces to all animals in need of help "Here I am, ready to help you"! I love it!! Great experience and glad the owners was located and reunited with her dogs.
Cattails, thanks for the hug. It was nice to know I was thought about :). Glad you got your taxes done.
Cuz, thanks for the emails and the jokes, xoxo.
For those of you who are really down, maybe going to youtube and listening to Louise Hay might give you some encouragement, I know when I get down that seems to make me feel better. Here's the thing to remember..circumstances are hard for us all but our attitude about what were going through will determine how much more difficult or easier the affects of it have on us. I'm not talking about the normal grieving of losing a loved one, rather the day to day difficulties of life and the hardship of caregiving.
The way we feel can be improved when we improve our thoughts. I'm glad we all have this thread to vent when we need to because there are times when we just need to unload to let go of some of the pain and suffering that goes with our experiences but please lets keep a check on our attitudes and adjust them when we need to because if we don't we will just wallow in self pity and that will only keep our focus on everything bad.. and if that is the case we will feel bad all the time. I know with myself If I'm not sure of what my focus is on all I have to do is think and recognize how I am feeling, If I'm feeling bad then it's because of the way I am thinking about the situation I am in, more than the actual situation.
In the end we all are in this situation of caregiving not because it is what we wanted in life but because we chose to be the one to step up, it was our decision and how we let it affect us is also our decision. We all have the same choice and our survival is depending on our focusing on the positive. I know some of you might be thinking "the positive"? what's so positive about what I'm going through? but believe me sometimes all we need to do is to change our perspective..try to look at our lives outside of caregiving. There are many things we can focus on that will make us feel good in spite of the caregiving situations we are in. We can sit outside and have some peace and quiet while soaking up some sunshine and breathing into our minds all the good things that life has to offer us, think about the things we enjoy and the things that make us feel good inside, a puppy, flowers, birds, a walk on the beach, or a walk in the woods. Even if we have to only imagine these things it will improve how we feel and I think we all just want to fell better.
hi there , went roamin yesterday , went to pa s grave , gave him and mom some marigold flowers then stop to visit my aunt , she was blown away suprise to see me , said she kept thinkin about me too much , i love my aunt ,,, thats my mom s sister . i love begin around her , reminds me of momma . then went to my hometown to my bro s grave . told him how much i miss him . sis ask me where is dad s parents at ? we found it and saw alot of dad s brothers there and some stillborn babies that dad s mom lost . saw one stone that its a year old baby boy , guessing thats dad s baby brother , he had a plastic deer sittin there so i filled it up with margigold flowers in it . left the grave happy and felt i was suppose to give that year old boy flowers . :) i wasnt ready to go home . so called up both sis in law and ask em about mexcian resturant , we all met there and had a great time . drank too much margaritta . whoa kicked my ass . CHRISTINA - i drank one for ya :-) ... it was wonderful to get away . stop at few yard sales , great feeling .... saw a greenhouse had my madien name on it ! i swerve and slam onmy brakes and shop there , got me some strawberry plants :-) . sis and i had a good time . in a week or 2 sis and i are going to clean out dad s trailer . thats gonna be work .. im hoping that i am able to do it . biggest fear is to go in and fall apart . lord give me strenght ,,, you all have a happy day , here is dark and gloomey and rain on and off . xoxo
Deef ~ Will tune up the mountain bikes for your next visit. Friend gave me another!
Make it after July 4th when our weather traditionally becomes summerlike. Not the stupid pretend stuff the NW calendar tells us. September is often the best!
A blonde city girl named Amy marries an Alberta rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so, I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'
The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.
Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here."
The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blond, asks, "Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?"
"That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall," she explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?" The blond turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on!"
(It's nice to see a blonde winning once in a while.)
Today is the oldest you've ever been, yet the youngest you'll ever be, so enjoy this day while it lasts. You don't stop laughing because you grow old,You grow old because you stop laughing ! Enjoy your life ! Laugh, Have Fun, & Help Others ! Life is Good !
Austin, if mom wants to get her meds the money has to come from somewhere. I think this year's donut hole is $2400. Each months meds is between $850 - $900 until I meet the next hurdle when her meds will then be covered at 90%. I know I shouldn't complain because it could be so much worse than it is. It's just a big deal to me since that is over 60% of my monthly income. Of course the sibs don't contribute. I guess I just have to shut up and count my blessings.
Okay, taxes, ours and Mom's are done and the CHECKS are in the mail!!! First time we ever had to pay and that's only because my dumb ass husband did not have taxes taken out!!!!! Mom hasn't filed in years, but her LTC sent 1099's to the IRS for her home care reimbursement, so I had to gather all the info for the last 2 years and get her taxes done. She had to pay too. Of course we didn't have the $1200, so I had to borrow it to get the payments in on time. At least now I can get all the paperwork boxed up and put away. Then I can breathe a little before I start into major house and yard work. Diane, I can sympathize with you except for the fact that my mom can no longer hold a conversation, therefore, no nasty comments to me. Haven't had a night off since I went to Rip's last June and I need one soon before I implode!!! The worst part of care giving is never getting away from it!!! I will be starting my 5th year this May, and never would have believed I would still be doing this!!! The fact that I have my husband here all the time makes it so much worse! Not a minute of peace, EVER!!! I need to start getting in my car and taking off by myself while Mom is at daycare. Just need some me time. As for weight, I give up!!! I lost 16lbs 2 years ago and put it all back plus another 5!!! I have 1 pair of jeans that fit, and I can hardly bend over without losing m,y breath. I've never been heavy and have always been very active, but I just don't have the heart to do anything about it right now. My husband lost 40lbs the last year he was working, and now he is heavier than ever, due to being the lasiest man on earth!!!. Anyway,I sure hope you are feeling better Diane and it would be nice if your boss could be more understanding! Linda!!!!! I hear you on the running. I'd probably fall flat on my pudgy face if I tried to run right now. Walking the dogs is a good start! Cattails, Rip took me on some trails while I was in Wash. last year. It is so beautiful out there! So green!!!! I'm in central Mass. and I love my New England, but the other side of the country is every bit as beautiful. Jen, Sleep? What's that? If Mom doesn't keep me up, my restless legs do. If I'm sleeping soundly, my husband wakes me up by talking to the cats like it's mid afternoon, only it's 5AM!!! I can't win. Only good thing is my snoring is so bad, it chases him onto the couch and I get the bed to myself! SS, Yes, ignoring the sibs is a good thing! Okay, time to feed Mom. Hope you all have a nice evening. Deef
Linda, glad you have your dogs to take for a walk. The 2 dogs I picked up off the high way had gotten out an open gate, their owner was relieved to get them back. Sure hope you get to feeling better. Jen I wish you could get out of the situation your in. It is so toxic. I guess you are trying to help your Mother out, but sounds like Fart pants could be around a long time yet. At least he is confined to the house, (I hope). Can you get out of the house and away to do something, anything, even if it is just for a little while?
Gah, sleeping and not bathing here...fart pants moaning around looking at lil gals on Tv and making happy noises...Please die old man please just die...
Sorry your leave got canceled Diane...
D at least the tax part is put away! One load off your back, thirty thousand more to go!
Rip glad to see you on. I am still mostly skimming... I don't know..
I too have a selfish sister who also raises 2 selfish children. My niece took out school loans and convinced grandma to cosign. Now collections agencies call multiple times a day!! I've told my niece she needs to do something but I think she is just waiting for her to die and have all her loans paid off. My sis actually asked me if we could have mom take out a second mortgage on her home to pay off her daughters loans. I told her she lost her mind. I had to bring my mom from MO to FL to live with me in Dec. We left her X-mas tree up and other things my nephew said he would take it down and clean up what needed but he hasn't even gone by to check on her house for us. My mom worships the ground my sis and her family walks on. Meanwhile I do all the work .
meanwhile - read ur news about the dogs , wow ! heart touching !! prob was dumped ! awww i hope they find thier home or find a wonderful home . that made me wanna go pick them up and give them lovings . :-) selfishsiblings . runnin is good , i cant run , i prob be havin heart attack if i did , i love walks tho , bought a bike and tried it few times and now it sits in the garage , flex - im feeling what ure feeling . head feels like bunch crap sittin on my forhead , my ear hurts along with neck pain and shoulder pains . we must be twins , i bet your mom is tired of livin and ready to go meet her master . i know my mom did , always sayin im ready to meet my master and sure enuff she did , pa on the other hand he didnt wanna die , he wanted keep on livin . i keep seein him dying over and over . i wish he could just have died in his sleep , not lay there and gaspin for air . its a horrible sights to see , i had to tell him dad its ok to go , see mom n johnny go ahead go to them , i ll be ok pa . i be fine ill be ok , but my heart was stabbin with pains i know deep down im not going to be ok i ll not be fine ..... it was what he needed to hear then he stop breathing . i had to tell him to go ... i regret it but not regret it , know what i mean ...
i sleep alot , tried to stay busy but i hurt so much in my neck , i dont feel like doing anythang , i am free of caregiving but i dont feel free . i still feel like i need to stay home . you all thank you for the hugs and ure the reason why i am on today . love you bunches . guess i shall walk the dogs , theyre lookin at me sad , meanwhile - let me know if those doggies found thier home . they sound so cute and loving . xoxox
Diane, I'm sorry you are sad. I hope today goes better for you. I know I can have a really sh*tty day, then the next day is a lot better. Yesterday was a good day for me --I ran 2 miles, bought some new shoes and some wine and made a nice dinner for the family. Heck, doesn't get much better than that!
Today, it's back to the Medicaid filing.....exhaustive!!!
Deefer - I stopped telling my siblings what was going on with Mom and Dad about 1.5 ago. Makes my life so much easier too! They don't come and see them, never ever call me to see how I'M doing, and offer no help in ANY way, even when I asked. In fact, one of them said in an email, "I can be of no help to you as I don't have access to their finances, but do keep me informed of their situation." Screw that....!!! Can you believe that??! Isn't it amazing we are related to these people??? Deef - you just take care of your own situation and they need to live with their own misgivings so where down the road. God help them, cause they're going to need it.
My brother has actually come around a little, so as much as my husband wants to hang him, I'm grateful that our communication has opened up a bit.
Bobbie - how are u doing? Thinking about you! Christina - sure your singing a song and cooking something fantastic! Anyone heard from Rossella?
Hi Crew: Going to use a sheet of paper. Meanwhile, that reminds me of a time, many years ago, when I was driving downtown. Busy intersection with cars everywhere and this poor dog, just in the middle. I stopped and picked up the dog which liked my face all the way to my vet's office. No tags and I don't think we even had chips in those days. I took the dog home with me and put an add in the paper. Had two dogs of my own at the time. That night I noticed I only had one ear ring on and my mind instantly went back to the face licking while I was driving. It was the ear facing the dog that was bear of the ear ring. They were little studs with diamond centers and precious to me as they were an anniversary present from my husband. I searched my car, the bedroom, everywhere, no ear ring.
I just knew the stray had swallowed it and it would have to show up eventually. So every day my son would reluctantly help me sift through the dog poop of our now 3 dogs. He would pick each pile up with the shovel, then I would inspect the grass underneath to make sure no stud had been left unturned. Then I would take a fork and go through everything on the shovel. Into the poop bag it would go and on we would go to the next pile. It was enough to gag a maggot. My son would recite the words from Star Trek, "She dares to go when no man has gone before."
Day four was my lucky day. I went to do laundry and stepped on the stud. It was laying on the floor in front of the washer. Must have gotten tugged off with my clothing. The same day a very sweet pregnant lady came by and claimed the dog. Ahhhhhhhhhh. Problems solved.
Diane, I didn't realize that on top of it all you are trying to hold down a job too. I just have this mental picture of you, lying in bed, with a pillow over your head and your mom sitting right next to you insisting that SHE is dying. And then b/f suggesting that maybe you are having a heart attack. Lord have mercy.
I'm very impressed that you have lost 30 pounds. BRAVO to you. Diane, maybe you need to think about making new memories. Good ones. Don't stay home on holidays and try to make them special. We can't recreate the past. Every Easter my husband laments about when he and our Granddaughter use to color Easter Eggs together. In October, it's the pumpkins they use to carve. We are alone on the holidays now. Our Granddaughter is now 22 years old and lives in North Dakota. We miss the big family gatherings that were rituals when we were all younger. The meals and the board games we would play, etc. Sounds Hallmark, but it really wasn't. Lot's of baggage in my husbands family. Lot's of ups and downs, like all families, but we remember the good times in the vacuum of connection and the quiet emptiness of the holidays. It doesn't matter if these things end due to time, age, illness, death, relocation, or cruelty. They end.
Next Easter, for the first time, I am going to go to a Sunrise Service. I'm going to sit outside the church and witness the bonfire and the rising of the SON. Then I'm going to walk into the still dark church which will be lit only by the Paschal candle and I am going to sit, in the peace of the candle light, among a small intimate group of kind and loving people, and enjoy the sanctity of that moment.
Diane, you are an amazing person. Would you see if you can pursue an appointment with a shrink to get your meds squared away. I know you said that your local docs won't see someone as an outpatient, but maybe a bigger city would have more options to allow you to use your insurance. Would you please make every effort to find a solution to your depression. Do it for all of us on this site that love you. There are drugs to help you and it can be daunting to get the right doc and the right meds; but when you do, it can be a life changing miracle. You deserve that.
Did something I never do. I picked up a couple of hitchhikers. OK they were 4 legged and furry. I was headed into town, when I had to swerve to keep from hitting this tiny dog running down the middle of the highway. So I pull off onto the shoulder, this little dog practically jumped into my arms. Then out of nowhere this big yellow dog almost knocks me over. It was the old bait and switch. I could almost hear that big dog saying "I knew someone would stop for the cute little dog if I stayed out of sight". Anyway, ended up with both dogs in the front of the pickup truck. Tiny curled up in my lap, and big yellow kept licking me in the ear. They had dog tags on, so took them to the Vet, who kindly agreed to keep them until they got hold of the owner. Diane, hope you get to feeling better. Bless you too.
Well, my weekend off just got cancelled. I've been having a crappy week battling a bad headache, neck & shoulder pain. Then I was up part of the night with mom. Needless to say, I didn't make it into work. While I had a sitter I spent my day in bed with a pillow over my head. Mom is sitting next to me swearing she is dying. It's her usual every day whine. I feel like shit at 49, what do you expect at 84? I think I'm losing my compassion from this chronic BS. Cat, use all the paper you want. I seem to be using a lot to bitch lately. I really don't enjoy life anymore. It's just a matter of "you have to do it because no one else will". Just breath in and breath out and keep going until you drop. My b/f has even been asking me if this headache, neck and shoulder pain could be a heart attack. If it is, just get it over with. I know tomorrow I'll face the music from my boss for being out today.
I'm not being very helpful, so I had best just shut up and wish every one well.
Hi Everyone: Had a great walk this morning in the Washinton mist. Our first swallows arrived today and are skimming the pond for bugs. Golden Finches won't be far behind.
Rip!!!!!! Boat Time!!!!!! Yes Diane, I remember that incident too. Nothing we can do about family. When Mom broke her wrist in January, merry had to leave, so I had to call my brother to help me get Mom to the ER. I didn't call anyone else to tell them what happened, because they never come or call to ask about Mom. One brother, he never visits, showed up while she still had her cast on. he was very upset that no one called him. Too bad!!! He lives 15 minutes away and stops maybe 2 to 3 times a year. I just don't share anything about Mom anymore unless they ask. Makes my life so much easier.
Hey everyone, Just wanted to say hello before I go on shift tomorrow. It is my long week so I probably won't be on again until Monday or Tuesday. Everyone have a great week, stay happy, and hopefully sain. did I spell that right? I have no idea. Anyway, keep your chins up and I love you all.
Deef! The Havana room is just as you left it - except the door is closed & cats miss you. Toothbrush, shampoo, animals - everything awaits you! Bush Basil is potted & growing.
I remember that incident, Diane! How could your nephew be so cruel? Especially when ... won't go there. We are trying to be nice. Don't re-live that sh*t, lady ... do what you can with confidence.
News Flash ~ Ladee's son was involve in a crash. Not good, don't know details ~ we will all be thinking of her
Rip & Deef, I'm so happy to see you both back on the thread. Christina, you too since you have been MIA for a little with your classes. Cricketina, thank you for the suggestions. I take D3 daily, and a prescription B vitamin. I eat pretty healthy, especially for a fat woman. I've managed to lose 30 pounds since I'm cooking low fat and low sodium since the b/f's heart attack. Exercise is another story. As for the thinking of happy memories, they tend to be bittersweet. My memories include the family that has turned against me over the last year and a half. I have so few memories that don't include them. Our family used to be so tight until the shit hit the fan 12/31/10. It hurts to watch my mother cry when my nephew wont even call and wish her a Happy Easter. He claims it is me that he hates, but he hurts his grandmother by ignoring her. Easter was tough for both mom and me. The more upset she gets, the more difficult she becomes. I guess life is ever changing and I just have to take one day at a time.
So to all the caregivers, oldies and newbies, have a good evening and remember to take care of yourselves.
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Love ya,
Diane
When my mom was alive, my schedule with the parents was unbelievably intense. If Warren and I had a chance to go to Costco together and get a hot dog, we truly felt like we were on a date. The freedom of that small everyday thing was huge to us.
Now, if the sun is shining and we can go outside in our yard together, it one of those special times. The simple freedoms are so special to us and few and far between.
Cricket: Thanks for the you tube tip. I'll look up Louise Hay. By the way, it was Deef who got the taxes finished up. I didn't know you had to pay taxes on LTC.
Linda: Glad you had a good day with your sis.
Cattails.
Linda, sounds like you had great day. So sweet of you to put the marigolds on the baby's grave. And, finishing off the day with margarita's, not bad either.
Wish we were getting some of your rain. It is a dust storm here today, 50mph winds. No throwing the frisbee for Sophie today. Take care everyone.
Some how my my younging-my cat got a scratch on her cheek while I had her outside on a rope with a harness. So, I cut down the thorny huge rose bush for she does sometimes rub up against it and it can cut you big time. I never liked it anyway for it would bite me too, the rose bush. However, I do like the mini roses for they are not so mean. Hubby even actually got the mnl his mom to go for a walk for a half a block for she has been just laying around. Of course, she was complaining the whole time even though hubby tried to get her attention on the pretty blue sky and the sound of the birds. It does help her when she get back from the short walk.
As for the mess at my dad's place, I heard that two pound trucks came out but now sure if they did anything. I'm fed up with kin folks who say they are behind you and then change their mind when push comes to shove. That is the second time us grown children were called by my dad's brother of being concerned about his health. I even took a trip up their and dad is just too stubburn. They call us up and get us all panicky and then leave us out to dry when it comes to being the bad person doing anything! I told one of my brothers that is it! If they want something done they can step up to the plate for a change.
As for gaining weight, you can include me in too. I guess being a care-taker has a lot do with it for you don't get enough exercise for you are stuck in the house all the time.That is my excuse for now. Everyone have a great day. ' )
jsomebody - i sure hope u win the lottery . that would just make u so happy and make me happy too for u . been watching lonesome dove all day . man i love that show ! those hard working guys , what a life back then .
i best get my dogs out for a walk . before the rain comes back . been wantin to do it all day but rain came back everytime i started out . hope it doesnt start rainin again lol . xoxo
Reading "Revolt in the Desert by T E Lawrence and enjoying Arab wars of 1914 rather than my day to day life. The mopped floor hmm year lasted what a day?....What ever...Another week another nothing....Have a safe sane weekend all....
Meanwhile2, You have a sign on your forehead that announces to all animals in need of help "Here I am, ready to help you"! I love it!! Great experience and glad the owners was located and reunited with her dogs.
Cattails, thanks for the hug. It was nice to know I was thought about :). Glad you got your taxes done.
Cuz, thanks for the emails and the jokes, xoxo.
For those of you who are really down, maybe going to youtube and listening to Louise Hay might give you some encouragement, I know when I get down that seems to make me feel better. Here's the thing to remember..circumstances are hard for us all but our attitude about what were going through will determine how much more difficult or easier the affects of it have on us. I'm not talking about the normal grieving of losing a loved one, rather the day to day difficulties of life and the hardship of caregiving.
The way we feel can be improved when we improve our thoughts. I'm glad we all have this thread to vent when we need to because there are times when we just need to unload to let go of some of the pain and suffering that goes with our experiences but please lets keep a check on our attitudes and adjust them when we need to because if we don't we will just wallow in self pity and that will only keep our focus on everything bad.. and if that is the case we will feel bad all the time. I know with myself If I'm not sure of what my focus is on all I have to do is think and recognize how I am feeling, If I'm feeling bad then it's because of the way I am thinking about the situation I am in, more than the actual situation.
In the end we all are in this situation of caregiving not because it is what we wanted in life but because we chose to be the one to step up, it was our decision and how we let it affect us is also our decision. We all have the same choice and our survival is depending on our focusing on the positive. I know some of you might be thinking "the positive"? what's so positive about what I'm going through? but believe me sometimes all we need to do is to change our perspective..try to look at our lives outside of caregiving. There are many things we can focus on that will make us feel good in spite of the caregiving situations we are in. We can sit outside and have some peace and quiet while soaking up some sunshine and breathing into our minds all the good things that life has to offer us, think about the things we enjoy and the things that make us feel good inside, a puppy, flowers, birds, a walk on the beach, or a walk in the woods. Even if we have to only imagine these things it will improve how we feel and I think we all just want to fell better.
Love you all,
Cricketღ
then went to my hometown to my bro s grave . told him how much i miss him . sis ask me where is dad s parents at ? we found it and saw alot of dad s brothers there and some stillborn babies that dad s mom lost . saw one stone that its a year old baby boy , guessing thats dad s baby brother , he had a plastic deer sittin there so i filled it up with margigold flowers in it . left the grave happy and felt i was suppose to give that year old boy flowers . :)
i wasnt ready to go home . so called up both sis in law and ask em about mexcian resturant , we all met there and had a great time . drank too much margaritta . whoa kicked my ass . CHRISTINA - i drank one for ya :-) ...
it was wonderful to get away . stop at few yard sales , great feeling .... saw a greenhouse had my madien name on it ! i swerve and slam onmy brakes and shop there , got me some strawberry plants :-) . sis and i had a good time .
in a week or 2 sis and i are going to clean out dad s trailer . thats gonna be work ..
im hoping that i am able to do it . biggest fear is to go in and fall apart . lord give me strenght ,,,
you all have a happy day , here is dark and gloomey and rain on and off . xoxo
Will tune up the mountain bikes for your next visit. Friend gave me another!
Make it after July 4th when our weather traditionally becomes summerlike. Not the stupid pretend stuff the NW calendar tells us. September is often the best!
A blonde city girl named Amy marries an Alberta rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy,
"The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so,
I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn.
Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'
The rancher leaves for the fields.
After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.
Amy takes him down to the barn.
They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him,
"This is the one right here."
The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blond, asks,
"Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?"
"That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall," she explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says,
"And what, pray tell, is the nail for?"
The blond turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder,
"I guess it's to hang your pants on!"
(It's nice to see a blonde winning once in a while.)
Today is the oldest you've ever been, yet the youngest you'll ever be, so enjoy this day while it lasts. You don't stop laughing because you grow old,You grow old because you stop laughing ! Enjoy your life ! Laugh, Have Fun, & Help Others ! Life is Good !
Have a good night all!
Ok, I'm calmer and can go cook dinner. Thank you for putting up with me.
Love ya,
Diane
Diane, I can sympathize with you except for the fact that my mom can no longer hold a conversation, therefore, no nasty comments to me. Haven't had a night off since I went to Rip's last June and I need one soon before I implode!!! The worst part of care giving is never getting away from it!!! I will be starting my 5th year this May, and never would have believed I would still be doing this!!! The fact that I have my husband here all the time makes it so much worse! Not a minute of peace, EVER!!! I need to start getting in my car and taking off by myself while Mom is at daycare. Just need some me time.
As for weight, I give up!!! I lost 16lbs 2 years ago and put it all back plus another 5!!! I have 1 pair of jeans that fit, and I can hardly bend over without losing m,y breath. I've never been heavy and have always been very active, but I just don't have the heart to do anything about it right now. My husband lost 40lbs the last year he was working, and now he is heavier than ever, due to being the lasiest man on earth!!!.
Anyway,I sure hope you are feeling better Diane and it would be nice if your boss could be more understanding!
Linda!!!!! I hear you on the running. I'd probably fall flat on my pudgy face if I tried to run right now. Walking the dogs is a good start!
Cattails, Rip took me on some trails while I was in Wash. last year. It is so beautiful out there! So green!!!! I'm in central Mass. and I love my New England, but the other side of the country is every bit as beautiful.
Jen, Sleep? What's that? If Mom doesn't keep me up, my restless legs do. If I'm sleeping soundly, my husband wakes me up by talking to the cats like it's mid afternoon, only it's 5AM!!! I can't win. Only good thing is my snoring is so bad, it chases him onto the couch and I get the bed to myself!
SS, Yes, ignoring the sibs is a good thing!
Okay, time to feed Mom. Hope you all have a nice evening. Deef
Jen I wish you could get out of the situation your in. It is so toxic. I guess you are trying to help your Mother out, but sounds like Fart pants could be around a long time yet. At least he is confined to the house, (I hope). Can you get out of the house and away to do something, anything, even if it is just for a little while?
Sorry your leave got canceled Diane...
D at least the tax part is put away! One load off your back, thirty thousand more to go!
Rip glad to see you on. I am still mostly skimming... I don't know..
selfishsiblings . runnin is good , i cant run , i prob be havin heart attack if i did , i love walks tho , bought a bike and tried it few times and now it sits in the garage ,
flex - im feeling what ure feeling . head feels like bunch crap sittin on my forhead , my ear hurts along with neck pain and shoulder pains . we must be twins , i bet your mom is tired of livin and ready to go meet her master . i know my mom did , always sayin im ready to meet my master and sure enuff she did ,
pa on the other hand he didnt wanna die , he wanted keep on livin . i keep seein him dying over and over . i wish he could just have died in his sleep , not lay there and gaspin for air . its a horrible sights to see , i had to tell him dad its ok to go , see mom n johnny go ahead go to them , i ll be ok pa . i be fine ill be ok , but my heart was stabbin with pains i know deep down im not going to be ok i ll not be fine ..... it was what he needed to hear then he stop breathing . i had to tell him to go ... i regret it but not regret it , know what i mean ...
i sleep alot , tried to stay busy but i hurt so much in my neck , i dont feel like doing anythang , i am free of caregiving but i dont feel free . i still feel like i need to stay home .
you all thank you for the hugs and ure the reason why i am on today . love you bunches .
guess i shall walk the dogs , theyre lookin at me sad ,
meanwhile - let me know if those doggies found thier home . they sound so cute and loving . xoxox
Today, it's back to the Medicaid filing.....exhaustive!!!
Deefer - I stopped telling my siblings what was going on with Mom and Dad about 1.5 ago. Makes my life so much easier too! They don't come and see them, never ever call me to see how I'M doing, and offer no help in ANY way, even when I asked. In fact, one of them said in an email, "I can be of no help to you as I don't have access to their finances, but do keep me informed of their situation." Screw that....!!! Can you believe that??! Isn't it amazing we are related to these people??? Deef - you just take care of your own situation and they need to live with their own misgivings so where down the road. God help them, cause they're going to need it.
My brother has actually come around a little, so as much as my husband wants to hang him, I'm grateful that our communication has opened up a bit.
Bobbie - how are u doing? Thinking about you! Christina - sure your singing a song and cooking something fantastic! Anyone heard from Rossella?
Love to all -- SS
I just knew the stray had swallowed it and it would have to show up eventually. So every day my son would reluctantly help me sift through the dog poop of our now 3 dogs. He would pick each pile up with the shovel, then I would inspect the grass underneath to make sure no stud had been left unturned. Then I would take a fork and go through everything on the shovel. Into the poop bag it would go and on we would go to the next pile. It was enough to gag a maggot. My son would recite the words from Star Trek, "She dares to go when no man has gone before."
Day four was my lucky day. I went to do laundry and stepped on the stud. It was laying on the floor in front of the washer. Must have gotten tugged off with my clothing. The same day a very sweet pregnant lady came by and claimed the dog. Ahhhhhhhhhh. Problems solved.
Diane, I didn't realize that on top of it all you are trying to hold down a job too. I just have this mental picture of you, lying in bed, with a pillow over your head and your mom sitting right next to you insisting that SHE is dying. And then b/f suggesting that maybe you are having a heart attack. Lord have mercy.
I'm very impressed that you have lost 30 pounds. BRAVO to you. Diane, maybe you need to think about making new memories. Good ones. Don't stay home on holidays and try to make them special. We can't recreate the past. Every Easter my husband laments about when he and our Granddaughter use to color Easter Eggs together. In October, it's the pumpkins they use to carve. We are alone on the holidays now. Our Granddaughter is now 22 years old and lives in North Dakota. We miss the big family gatherings that were rituals when we were all younger. The meals and the board games we would play, etc. Sounds Hallmark, but it really wasn't. Lot's of baggage in my husbands family. Lot's of ups and downs, like all families, but we remember the good times in the vacuum of connection and the quiet emptiness of the holidays. It doesn't matter if these things end due to time, age, illness, death, relocation, or cruelty. They end.
Next Easter, for the first time, I am going to go to a Sunrise Service. I'm going to sit outside the church and witness the bonfire and the rising of the SON. Then I'm going to walk into the still dark church which will be lit only by the Paschal candle and I am going to sit, in the peace of the candle light, among a small intimate group of kind and loving people, and enjoy the sanctity of that moment.
Diane, you are an amazing person. Would you see if you can pursue an appointment with a shrink to get your meds squared away. I know you said that your local docs won't see someone as an outpatient, but maybe a bigger city would have more options to allow you to use your insurance. Would you please make every effort to find a solution to your depression. Do it for all of us on this site that love you. There are drugs to help you and it can be daunting to get the right doc and the right meds; but when you do, it can be a life changing miracle. You deserve that.
Love, Cattails
Diane, hope you get to feeling better. Bless you too.
Well, my weekend off just got cancelled. I've been having a crappy week battling a bad headache, neck & shoulder pain. Then I was up part of the night with mom. Needless to say, I didn't make it into work. While I had a sitter I spent my day in bed with a pillow over my head. Mom is sitting next to me swearing she is dying. It's her usual every day whine. I feel like shit at 49, what do you expect at 84? I think I'm losing my compassion from this chronic BS.
Cat, use all the paper you want. I seem to be using a lot to bitch lately. I really don't enjoy life anymore. It's just a matter of "you have to do it because no one else will". Just breath in and breath out and keep going until you drop. My b/f has even been asking me if this headache, neck and shoulder pain could be a heart attack. If it is, just get it over with. I know tomorrow I'll face the music from my boss for being out today.
I'm not being very helpful, so I had best just shut up and wish every one well.
Bless you all for your sacrfices.
Love ya,
Diane
Trying not to us all the paper. Haha, Cattails
Yes Diane, I remember that incident too. Nothing we can do about family. When Mom broke her wrist in January, merry had to leave, so I had to call my brother to help me get Mom to the ER. I didn't call anyone else to tell them what happened, because they never come or call to ask about Mom. One brother, he never visits, showed up while she still had her cast on. he was very upset that no one called him. Too bad!!! He lives 15 minutes away and stops maybe 2 to 3 times a year. I just don't share anything about Mom anymore unless they ask. Makes my life so much easier.
Toothbrush, shampoo, animals - everything awaits you! Bush Basil is potted & growing.
Especially when ... won't go there. We are trying to be nice.
Don't re-live that sh*t, lady ... do what you can with confidence.
News Flash ~ Ladee's son was involve in a crash. Not good, don't know details ~ we will all be thinking of her
So to all the caregivers, oldies and newbies, have a good evening and remember to take care of yourselves.
Love ya,
Diane