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Omaha is home. Yeah, cartwheels, and celebrations. Indio said Omaha seemed really happy to see him when he went to pick him up. I opened the trailer door, and stood back, because he was anxious to get out. But, then he just calmly stepped out, and looked around. Let everyone pet and hug on him. Didn't even have to put a lead rope around his neck. When I opened the paddock gate, he walked right in. Then took off and cantered around the paddock a couple of times. His poor nose is really swollen. The vet sent antibiotics and anti-inflammatory drugs home with him. But, really good to have him home. Great point about letting people do as much as they can. I try to do that with my parents. My Mom would let me do everything for her, and just sit in her recliner with her feet up. Now I don't feel so guilty about dragging my feet to help her with every little thing. She is 78, but whines and complains constantly. Linda, hope you have a great time. Hope everyone does.
OK Sheila: So it was an article written by someone else who's mom was Dotty. Thanks for sharing it with us. You really have your hands full. How old is your husband? What a life changing year you have both had. Was he pretty healthy before the strokes. My heart goes out to you. Cattails.
Linda ~ Thanks. Just to clarify--I'm caregiver for my husband Alan, who has had three strokes and a couple of TIA's this past year. The author of the article that I passed along is caregiver to her mom Dotty.
I know how you feel about your dad's smell. My mom had a sweater that she wore every day. After she died, I wore it until her smell wore off of it. It made me feel like she was hugging me. That was several years ago. I still haven't washed it, and, when I come across it, I can sometimes get a faint whiff of Mom.
On a lighter note, I won't be keeping anything that would most remind me of my husband's smell, because right now it would be ammonia from diapers!
Sheila: Thank you for sharing that wonderful post. I learned a lot from it and I learned a lot about you. You are a shining, loving, star. Hugs, Cattails
I know how you feel Linda09. I pick up a small pillow Ed had and it smelled like him. Boy I lost it. Yes I miss taking care of him but I knew I would. He is happy in heaven. PTL
shelia !! love ur post !!! , youre a wonderful person to learn a great deal of how to handle dotty . she is so blessing to have you in her life . god bless u shelia , ure the best !!! xoxo
hi there u all ! speakin of a sweet lady takin her dogs on a roadtrip . oh man what was her name ! think she should have been back by now ? was that angelhair ? come on !! who was it . i bet christina knows . anyways i hope shes ok out n about onher roadtrip . she was suppos ebe gone only a week . shall send some angels at her way . flex- u forgot jsomebody :-) . spank you now . i could ride up and down the road then my thigh just turns into a rock . good idea i shall strech out before gettin on the bike . went in pa s room this morning . i made his bed and tidy up a bit , open the curtain and i felt like pa s proud of me . haventremoved anything outta there . sis ask me ar eu going to tear the bed down ? i looked at her and said nana the bed is stayin . she helped me make his bed , i grab his blanket and smelled it .. oh my daddy ... just dont seem right with him begin gone . he is better off in heaven . i just miss him and miss takin care of him . alrighty nap time for me , think i shall get out of thie house tnite and go do some runnin around . you all have a happy weekend . xoxo
I'm learning. When I find something that helps me, I like to pass it along with the hope that it will make at least one of your life's easier. This article is about something I'm learning now. My husband winds up on the floor a lot, and sometimes his brain can't send the message to his limbs of what maneuvers to use to get up. I used to panic and spend sometimes hours of instruction and physically pushing and pulling to get him up, a few times resorting to calling the Fire Department. I now just leave him alone, and eventually his brain kicks in and tells him how to do this everyday task of getting off the floor. Here's the article.
Almost every day I am reminded of one of the most important things I learned about Alzheimer's caregiving -- Just let them do it.
In my case, this refers to my mother Dotty. Dotty is deeply forgetful..
When I first moved to Delray Beach I learned that at least once each day Dotty jumped in the car and went to the store to buy lottery tickets. I say at least once a day because Dotty often forgot that she had already gone to the store and gotten the lottery tickets for that day, so she jumped in the car and bought them again.
When I would try to explain this to her it was very painful. Even when I showed her the lottery tickets it was painful. She didn't believe me and the evidence didn't help.
Welcome to the world of Alzheimer's care giving. The standard and usual rules of communication do not apply.
Not long after I arrived, I managed to get Dotty's license revoked. Not that it mattered, Dotty refused to believe her license had been revoked. She told me daily that she got her license back. Or, that she hired an attorney and he got her license back. Myth.
Now that Dotty didn't drive I had to take her to the store every day for her lottery tickets.
After a while I came up with one of my best ever caregiver ideas, or at least that is what I thought at the time. Why not buy all of the lottery tickets in a single day? All 37 dollars worth of the tickets.
So I bought all the tickets and then each day I would hand the tickets for that day to Dotty. It didn't work to perfection, but it worked and I didn't have to make the trip to the lottery store every day.
Maybe I forgot to mention, Dotty had her own very special lottery store. The reason? Because it was a lucky store. Dotty had concluded that her favorite store had better numbers. So somehow when Dotty bought her daily Cash 3 Ticket 8-1-3 at that store, it was very different then if she bought 8-1-3 at another store. Trust me, I did try to explain the error in her reasoning many many times.
Of course, this was before I discovered Alzheimer's World. Now I understand Dotty's lottery ticket logic. Really, completely understand and it makes sense -- in Alzheimer's World.
Several months after my great Alzheimer's caregiver idea -- buy all the lottery tickets on a single day and then hand them out one day at a time -- I received one of the biggest shocks of my Alzheimer's caregiver life. A shock that sent me into a tailspin like I had never experienced previously in my life -- it sent me to the edge of total despair.
Here is what happened. I took Dotty to the store with me. Once inside the store, I handed her the envelop with the lotter cards filled in and the $37. I instructed Dotty to go and get the lottery tickets. She didn't budge. She had no clue how to do it.
Next I walked her over to the lottery ticket desk and encouraged her -- get the tickets. She was clueless. She did not know what to do. Thanks to my intervention, Dotty had forgotten how to buy lottery tickets. Something she had been doing for 20 years.
I had to live with this for a couple of days.
I was in a state of emotional, physical, and psychological pain. I couldn't get this off my mind. I was convinced it would only be a matter of days or months before Dotty wouldn't be able to do anything -- or worse. I really felt like I was on the edge of despair, and ready to fall.
This happened seven years ago.
After a couple of days it was time for us to go to the doctor for a check up. Once there I started to tell our wonderful doctor, Dr. Chiriboga, about what had happened. I will never forget that day or what he said.
He sat down directly in front of me and told me, if you do everything for her soon she will forget how to do it. Once she forgets it isn't likely that she will relearn how to do something.
Next, his words of wisdom changed our lives. He told me I was the ONE -- the only one that knew what Dotty could and couldn't do.
He suggested to me that I let her do everything she could do. He told me, and these words were prescient, that I would probably get criticized if I let her do everything she could. He told me you'll get criticized from people you never met before in your life.
Dr Chiriboga saved our lives. And of course he was right, I have been criticized upside down and backwards for my simple approach -- I let Dotty do everything she can do.
When I went home from talking with Dr Chiriboga, I got out the da Vinci pad and went into the bunkhouse. I decided I would let Dotty do everything she could do. I started making lists.
Soon, after great success with Dotty, I started a new da Vinci page. In a big circle in the middle of the page I wrote --
We will start living our life as we always had.
By this time I already had Dotty in the gym and had noticed the remarkable things that she could do. This was slowly convincing me that we could start living our life the way we always had.
So we came out of our Alzheimer's cave.
We started socializing. Dotty was back to talking to people. Brand new people she had never met. She was telling her wild tales to anyone that would listen. They believed every word she said. I had learned to accept these tall tales instead of correcting her. Instead of getting bent out of shape, I learned to laugh right along with everyone else. Did it matter that none of what she said had happened, or that much of it wasn't true?
No.
I didn't know it yet but I was crossing over into Alzheimer's World -- seamlessly. In Alzheimer's World it is not unusual to learn that what is true is false, and what is false is true. Doesn't matter over there. Just doesn't matter.
So yesterday it happens. Somebody I never saw before in my life starts criticizing and berating me.
She is mad because she thinks I am not helping Dotty step off the sidewalk and into the street. I am there doing my usual thing -- cheering Dotty on and encouraging her to take the step. I am holding on to her but I am not really helping her. She won't fall and I know she will take the step -- sooner or later. In Alzheimer's World you just gotta learn to be patient.
So here is the women yelling at me, telling me to get Dotty a walker and all kinds of stuff.
I give her the stare and I put my palm out and just wait for her to run out of gas. Dotty makes the big step down and away we go.
Now to be honest, please pardon my French here, I would have enjoyed ripping that woman's butt out with my mouth. And trust me, I know how to do it without any profanity. I could have given her the stomach ache she was trying to give to me.
But you know what -- I didn't say a word. I just took it in stride. I am comfortable in my own skin as an Alzheimer's caregiver. And, like I said before, I won't let anyone crap on our parade.
On the way to the car Dotty said, that woman is an ass. I laugh. This one is true in real world and Alzheimer's World.
All in all, pretty good day.
You have to learn how to let a person who is deeply forgetful do things, everything they can do.
You need to learn how which activities then can do, and never assume they cannot do something until they prove to you conclusively that they can't.
Please. Avoid the tendency to say and think, this won't work for us. Try it first, even if you brain is telling you it won't work.
Never forget, there is more there than you can imagine. So use your imagination in a positive proactive way.
Back from my non-cooking class. I got a great little salad recipe for a Quinoa salad that I'm going to make tonight.
Bobbie, a convention would be awesome! I would go for sure. Can you sleep people on your boat or is there a hotel near you? I am wondering for when I come up to visit. I am about 4 hrs south of you (I think) and really do plan to come up asap, maybe even help you do some work on the boat if it's not to hot when I get there. I've been in Florida for 7 yrs now and this year by far has been the best weather wise. I really love the outdoors but just don't tolerate the summers very well and stay inside with my sun lamp, lol
Diane, thank you for the compliment. I really really work on staying positive but I have my moments like a couple posts back, LOL I think the single most important thing to do to stay positive when you are so busy that you don't have time to relax and have quiet time to think, is to get an ipod and listen to any self-help audio-books on it throughout the day while working or commuting. It helps to keep the mind occupied with positive thoughts so we don't have time to think the negative ones. With caregiving it's so easy to lure ourselves into self defeating thoughts by feeling sorry for ourselves and I learned that makes everything ten times harder to do and completely zaps our energy.
Lildeb, try getting the mil some zinc lozenges and some emergen C drink packs. I hope she gets better so you don't have to make the doctor trip. Make sure to take care of yourself to.
Who was it that packed up and went on the roadtrip? We have so many new ones here I can't remember her name. Btw, I forgot to say hi to Miz, Angelhair, and my special friend Kimmy this morning, HI! :) Time for me to get busy studying for my class now. *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Let's see if I can remember all I want to reply to. First, I'm so happy to hear Omaha is on the mend. Being a fellow animal lover, this was the highlight of my day. Igore, I am a daughter taking care of my mom and it's just not natural having to check your mothers cooter. Unfortunately we are all too familiar these days after cleaning crap out of it ll the time or apply cream to it. That should be goo fodder for a therapist when I get to see one again. Miz, love ya girl. I see you posting on FB so I know you're still kicking, but keep dropping by here. Linda, I've been wanting a bike too. I'm afraid to spend the money and find out my knees cant handle it. I need to find one to borrow for a week and see how I do. I need some exercise and time to clear my head. Kuli, stop in sweetie. I worry about you. Bobbie, remember I work for a bus company so we can always round up the crew for a convention. Cattails, ENJOY, ENJOY, ENJOY! Ok, here is my senile moment, who was the sweet girl going to pack her dogs up and go on a road trip. Any news from her yet? I wonder how the prissy sister is surviving. Cricket, you are always so positive and upbeat. I think of you often when I am feeling so down and defeated. That has been the case a lot lately. I need to go take a picture of my Snoball Viburnum and post on FB. It is so pretty. Cuz, keep the jokes coming. I've seen Ann and Barb posting on FB but haven't seen either on here for awhile. Barb has been on the the road enjoying family and it looked like Ann had the boys home. Oh my, I nearly forgot Austin. It's always good to hear from you. I am so happy you are enjoying life after years with someone that didn't appreciate your wonderful spirit. Anyone I have forgotten I apologize for my burned out brain. I swear the more brain cells mom loses, the more of mine she confuses mine and they give up.
Good Morning Everyone.... Raining and thunder but at least it will knock the pollen down and wash away. The mnl has a hoarse voice and I have her gargling with warm salted water and it helps some. She is not running a fever and I saw just a slight redness in back of her mouth but no yellowish stuff. She may had picked up a germ when we went to my doctor the other day. I will keep an eye on her and make sure she drinks plenty of fluid and her appetite is still good too. Don;'t know much else to do for her for she acts okay but in afternoon she forgets that her throat sounds like a frog is in their and she will panic. All I know to do is comfort her and wait and if it don't get better by Monday off to her dr.
Miz!! It is so good to see you! I hope you take Cattails up and talk about what's on your mind. We all are on different stages of a similar journey.
Cattails, good for you with the respite for 3 days. Brilliant. omg everybody do this if you can.
Igore! you be a funny so and so. Thanks for being here on this thread; you are a welcome voice. I always have loved the term 'junk'. Navy, eh? Do you like boats? Probably never want to see one again....
Maxine! (Austin)... thx girl and I can only imagine the drama at a senior center. Cancelled bingo? I really like bingo and remember not wanting to play it when I was younger. I would state that I was saving it for when I was a 'senior' haha. I didn't want to burn out on bingo too early.
meanwhile, it is good news about Omaha and I love that there was someone who was willing to dress in drag for a horse. What a group of great people.
Cuz!! hey there and I hope you get to put the boat in soon. My back is killing me too. I remember Grandma coming and her room would always smell like BenGay. She kept on going!
Now I smell like Tiger Balm two times a day.
It is beautiful on the river right now. We are expecting rain and the temperature is dropping a little and the breeze picking up. Yesterday I went for a ride on a big sportfish. They take the boat out once a week to run her up to speed (30knts) which is good for the engines and also to blow the crud off the bottom. These are humongo Caterpillar engines and with the digital readout on the bridge you could see that at 27 knots the burn rate was 51 gallons an hour. Per engine. omg.
Cuz, this thing was as responsive as that little speedboat you used to let me drive. They backed right up to my boat and plucked me off my swim platform. 65' LWL of massive sportfish. 18'6" beam.
Love all you guys, Cricket and Jen and Kuli and Linda and SelfishSib and Christina! and Flex and Angie thanks for the hug and and and everybody! There are quite a few of us now and we need to think about a convention somewhere.
Happy Saturday. Going now to help move a boat. It will be interesting in the rain.
Igore, I hear ya! Call in those debts!! Cattails, you are a joy and I'm glad you're here! Bobbie, Keep posting...everyone loves hearing from you, our Captain. Linda, I am so glad you are here with us! Do some stretches before getting on the bike and you will be able to do a little more before those muscles tighten up.. I got myself a little rebounder (mini-trampoline) for exercise and it's awesome and convenient. I get a little time off this morning so I'm headed out to a raw food cooking class in hopes to learn some new things about eating healthier... funny it's called a cooking class, LOL Diane and SS where are you girls? Miz, Yay! you peeked in and let us know what's up with you.. I hope you get a great job through the temp agency! I won't ask where Christina is because I know she is studying like crazy for her test next week. Meanwhile2, Yay! I hope Omaha continues to do well and is happy! Cuz, you deserve a night off {{{{{Cuz}}}}} Everyone have a good day!
Welcome to the girls club, Igore. Your post was so funny. Guess what CREW, we are taking my dad to respite care tomorrow and leaving his ass there for 3 whole days. Tomorrow, after we drop him off, we are driving to Bainbridge, leaving the car, and taking the ferry to Seattle. We have some shopping to do and it will probably rain cats and dogs, but it will be a walk in the park for us. Have a wonderful weekend. Love, Cattails.
Ok, I have thought for some time now that mom shoulda had a daughter. Tell you whut! The day she asks me to check out the junk is the day I am outa here!!!
So far I have been fortunate enough to only have to administer eye drops and insulin shots. Thankfully one of my dysfunctional stepdaughters is a CNA. I will be calling her ass and sayin something like " you owe me for letting you and the WESIL (wife's ex sonin Law) live her for awhile. The day of reckoning is here. Pay UP!!!"
I have been in Navy and done alot of other stuff but this dude is not checking out Mom's junk.
I have enough PTSD over past crap without adding to that.
Indio went and picked up Omaha from the Vet today. He has been staying with a sister that lives an hour from the Vet. She needed some help with putting together a fort, and play set for her grand kids anyway. Indio and Omaha are staying at the sisters tonight, and will make the 3 hour drive home tomorrow. I was a little worried about Indio getting Omaha by himself. Omaha is afraid of men. So one of my coworkers suggested, he let his hair down (he has a long ponytail), talk in a high voice, and maybe walk with a bit of sway in his hips. Indio just about rolled on the ground laughing when I told him. Anyway, they made it to the sisters house, without anyone dressing in drag. Indio called to tell me Omaha looks good. Even kicked up his heels and galloped around his sisters yard, when he let him out of the trailer. Can't wait to see him tomorrow.
mizundrestood: I'm one of the newby's. I read your post and looked back on some of your other posts. Sounds like you were the most loving a devoted caretaker. You mentioned regrets and I wondered if you shared your thoughts on regrets we all might learn something or at least be able to respond to your feelings.
I don't want to open a painful Pandora's Box for you. So you are absolutely free to say you don't want to go there. Where do you live? This is such a difficult economy to find work and benefits. My heart goes out to you for the losses and struggles you deal with. Just wanted to say hello and let you know I care. Love, Cattails.
Linda keep riding the bike and I will keep walking -some drama at the senoir center bingo got cancelled I am sure there will be fallouts over that-the director has been on my case lately so I hope her ass is grass-I almost had a meltdown yesterday and quit but decided it is bigger than her and would miss my friends who have been with me through thick and thin-will keep you posted.
Hi Everyone. I'm here. I'm alive. I have missed so much. There are so many new people I don't know. We are surviving. I still have not found a full time job but have been working extra hours at my current one. I've signed up with some temp agencies or temp to hire and we will see how that goes. Taking it one day at a time here. One thing at a time. I guess at least one thing remains the same and that's it. Just thought I would pop in. I love yous and hope you all get some time to yourselves and are as happy as you can be. If there are happy moments, please remember to cherish them. If there are unhappy moments, I guess it's just part of it. There are so many things I wish I could do over. But I can't and that's okay. We all do the best we can. love, miz
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APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Great point about letting people do as much as they can. I try to do that with my parents. My Mom would let me do everything for her, and just sit in her recliner with her feet up. Now I don't feel so guilty about dragging my feet to help her with every little thing. She is 78, but whines and complains constantly.
Linda, hope you have a great time. Hope everyone does.
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Cattails, I will post the recipe in the recipe's discussion thread..
Cricketღ
I know how you feel about your dad's smell. My mom had a sweater that she wore every day. After she died, I wore it until her smell wore off of it. It made me feel like she was hugging me. That was several years ago. I still haven't washed it, and, when I come across it, I can sometimes get a faint whiff of Mom.
On a lighter note, I won't be keeping anything that would most remind me of my husband's smell, because right now it would be ammonia from diapers!
speakin of a sweet lady takin her dogs on a roadtrip . oh man what was her name ! think she should have been back by now ? was that angelhair ? come on !! who was it . i bet christina knows . anyways i hope shes ok out n about onher roadtrip . she was suppos ebe gone only a week . shall send some angels at her way .
flex- u forgot jsomebody :-) . spank you now . i could ride up and down the road then my thigh just turns into a rock . good idea i shall strech out before gettin on the bike .
went in pa s room this morning . i made his bed and tidy up a bit , open the curtain and i felt like pa s proud of me . haventremoved anything outta there . sis ask me ar eu going to tear the bed down ? i looked at her and said nana the bed is stayin . she helped me make his bed , i grab his blanket and smelled it .. oh my daddy ... just dont seem right with him begin gone . he is better off in heaven .
i just miss him and miss takin care of him .
alrighty nap time for me , think i shall get out of thie house tnite and go do some runnin around . you all have a happy weekend . xoxo
Almost every day I am reminded of one of the most important things I learned about Alzheimer's caregiving -- Just let them do it.
In my case, this refers to my mother Dotty. Dotty is deeply forgetful..
When I first moved to Delray Beach I learned that at least once each day Dotty jumped in the car and went to the store to buy lottery tickets. I say at least once a day because Dotty often forgot that she had already gone to the store and gotten the lottery tickets for that day, so she jumped in the car and bought them again.
When I would try to explain this to her it was very painful. Even when I showed her the lottery tickets it was painful. She didn't believe me and the evidence didn't help.
Welcome to the world of Alzheimer's care giving. The standard and usual rules of communication do not apply.
Not long after I arrived, I managed to get Dotty's license revoked. Not that it mattered, Dotty refused to believe her license had been revoked. She told me daily that she got her license back. Or, that she hired an attorney and he got her license back. Myth.
Now that Dotty didn't drive I had to take her to the store every day for her lottery tickets.
After a while I came up with one of my best ever caregiver ideas, or at least that is what I thought at the time. Why not buy all of the lottery tickets in a single day? All 37 dollars worth of the tickets.
So I bought all the tickets and then each day I would hand the tickets for that day to Dotty. It didn't work to perfection, but it worked and I didn't have to make the trip to the lottery store every day.
Maybe I forgot to mention, Dotty had her own very special lottery store. The reason? Because it was a lucky store. Dotty had concluded that her favorite store had better numbers. So somehow when Dotty bought her daily Cash 3 Ticket 8-1-3 at that store, it was very different then if she bought 8-1-3 at another store. Trust me, I did try to explain the error in her reasoning many many times.
Of course, this was before I discovered Alzheimer's World. Now I understand Dotty's lottery ticket logic. Really, completely understand and it makes sense -- in Alzheimer's World.
Several months after my great Alzheimer's caregiver idea -- buy all the lottery tickets on a single day and then hand them out one day at a time -- I received one of the biggest shocks of my Alzheimer's caregiver life. A shock that sent me into a tailspin like I had never experienced previously in my life -- it sent me to the edge of total despair.
Here is what happened. I took Dotty to the store with me. Once inside the store, I handed her the envelop with the lotter cards filled in and the $37. I instructed Dotty to go and get the lottery tickets. She didn't budge. She had no clue how to do it.
Next I walked her over to the lottery ticket desk and encouraged her -- get the tickets. She was clueless. She did not know what to do. Thanks to my intervention, Dotty had forgotten how to buy lottery tickets. Something she had been doing for 20 years.
I had to live with this for a couple of days.
I was in a state of emotional, physical, and psychological pain. I couldn't get this off my mind. I was convinced it would only be a matter of days or months before Dotty wouldn't be able to do anything -- or worse. I really felt like I was on the edge of despair, and ready to fall.
This happened seven years ago.
After a couple of days it was time for us to go to the doctor for a check up. Once there I started to tell our wonderful doctor, Dr. Chiriboga, about what had happened. I will never forget that day or what he said.
He sat down directly in front of me and told me, if you do everything for her soon she will forget how to do it. Once she forgets it isn't likely that she will relearn how to do something.
Next, his words of wisdom changed our lives. He told me I was the ONE -- the only one that knew what Dotty could and couldn't do.
He suggested to me that I let her do everything she could do. He told me, and these words were prescient, that I would probably get criticized if I let her do everything she could. He told me you'll get criticized from people you never met before in your life.
Dr Chiriboga saved our lives. And of course he was right, I have been criticized upside down and backwards for my simple approach -- I let Dotty do everything she can do.
When I went home from talking with Dr Chiriboga, I got out the da Vinci pad and went into the bunkhouse. I decided I would let Dotty do everything she could do. I started making lists.
Soon, after great success with Dotty, I started a new da Vinci page. In a big circle in the middle of the page I wrote --
We will start living our life as we always had.
By this time I already had Dotty in the gym and had noticed the remarkable things that she could do. This was slowly convincing me that we could start living our life the way we always had.
So we came out of our Alzheimer's cave.
We started socializing. Dotty was back to talking to people. Brand new people she had never met. She was telling her wild tales to anyone that would listen. They believed every word she said. I had learned to accept these tall tales instead of correcting her. Instead of getting bent out of shape, I learned to laugh right along with everyone else. Did it matter that none of what she said had happened, or that much of it wasn't true?
No.
I didn't know it yet but I was crossing over into Alzheimer's World -- seamlessly. In Alzheimer's World it is not unusual to learn that what is true is false, and what is false is true. Doesn't matter over there. Just doesn't matter.
So yesterday it happens. Somebody I never saw before in my life starts criticizing and berating me.
She is mad because she thinks I am not helping Dotty step off the sidewalk and into the street. I am there doing my usual thing -- cheering Dotty on and encouraging her to take the step. I am holding on to her but I am not really helping her. She won't fall and I know she will take the step -- sooner or later. In Alzheimer's World you just gotta learn to be patient.
So here is the women yelling at me, telling me to get Dotty a walker and all kinds of stuff.
I give her the stare and I put my palm out and just wait for her to run out of gas. Dotty makes the big step down and away we go.
Now to be honest, please pardon my French here, I would have enjoyed ripping that woman's butt out with my mouth. And trust me, I know how to do it without any profanity. I could have given her the stomach ache she was trying to give to me.
But you know what -- I didn't say a word. I just took it in stride. I am comfortable in my own skin as an Alzheimer's caregiver. And, like I said before, I won't let anyone crap on our parade.
On the way to the car Dotty said, that woman is an ass. I laugh. This one is true in real world and Alzheimer's World.
All in all, pretty good day.
You have to learn how to let a person who is deeply forgetful do things, everything they can do.
You need to learn how which activities then can do, and never assume they cannot do something until they prove to you conclusively that they can't.
Please. Avoid the tendency to say and think, this won't work for us. Try it first, even if you brain is telling you it won't work.
Never forget, there is more there than you can imagine. So use your imagination in a positive proactive way.
Bobbie, a convention would be awesome! I would go for sure. Can you sleep people on your boat or is there a hotel near you? I am wondering for when I come up to visit. I am about 4 hrs south of you (I think) and really do plan to come up asap, maybe even help you do some work on the boat if it's not to hot when I get there. I've been in Florida for 7 yrs now and this year by far has been the best weather wise. I really love the outdoors but just don't tolerate the summers very well and stay inside with my sun lamp, lol
Diane, thank you for the compliment. I really really work on staying positive but I have my moments like a couple posts back, LOL I think the single most important thing to do to stay positive when you are so busy that you don't have time to relax and have quiet time to think, is to get an ipod and listen to any self-help audio-books on it throughout the day while working or commuting. It helps to keep the mind occupied with positive thoughts so we don't have time to think the negative ones. With caregiving it's so easy to lure ourselves into self defeating thoughts by feeling sorry for ourselves and I learned that makes everything ten times harder to do and completely zaps our energy.
Lildeb, try getting the mil some zinc lozenges and some emergen C drink packs. I hope she gets better so you don't have to make the doctor trip. Make sure to take care of yourself to.
Who was it that packed up and went on the roadtrip? We have so many new ones here I can't remember her name. Btw, I forgot to say hi to Miz, Angelhair, and my special friend Kimmy this morning, HI! :) Time for me to get busy studying for my class now.
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Let's see if I can remember all I want to reply to. First, I'm so happy to hear Omaha is on the mend. Being a fellow animal lover, this was the highlight of my day. Igore, I am a daughter taking care of my mom and it's just not natural having to check your mothers cooter. Unfortunately we are all too familiar these days after cleaning crap out of it ll the time or apply cream to it. That should be goo fodder for a therapist when I get to see one again. Miz, love ya girl. I see you posting on FB so I know you're still kicking, but keep dropping by here. Linda, I've been wanting a bike too. I'm afraid to spend the money and find out my knees cant handle it. I need to find one to borrow for a week and see how I do. I need some exercise and time to clear my head. Kuli, stop in sweetie. I worry about you. Bobbie, remember I work for a bus company so we can always round up the crew for a convention. Cattails, ENJOY, ENJOY, ENJOY! Ok, here is my senile moment, who was the sweet girl going to pack her dogs up and go on a road trip. Any news from her yet? I wonder how the prissy sister is surviving. Cricket, you are always so positive and upbeat. I think of you often when I am feeling so down and defeated. That has been the case a lot lately. I need to go take a picture of my Snoball Viburnum and post on FB. It is so pretty. Cuz, keep the jokes coming. I've seen Ann and Barb posting on FB but haven't seen either on here for awhile. Barb has been on the the road enjoying family and it looked like Ann had the boys home. Oh my, I nearly forgot Austin. It's always good to hear from you. I am so happy you are enjoying life after years with someone that didn't appreciate your wonderful spirit. Anyone I have forgotten I apologize for my burned out brain. I swear the more brain cells mom loses, the more of mine she confuses mine and they give up.
Gotta move the car. Take care dear friends,
Love ya,
Diane
Miz!! It is so good to see you! I hope you take Cattails up and talk about what's on your mind. We all are on different stages of a similar journey.
Cattails, good for you with the respite for 3 days. Brilliant. omg everybody do this if you can.
Igore! you be a funny so and so. Thanks for being here on this thread; you are a welcome voice. I always have loved the term 'junk'. Navy, eh? Do you like boats? Probably never want to see one again....
Maxine! (Austin)... thx girl and I can only imagine the drama at a senior center. Cancelled bingo? I really like bingo and remember not wanting to play it when I was younger. I would state that I was saving it for when I was a 'senior' haha. I didn't want to burn out on bingo too early.
meanwhile, it is good news about Omaha and I love that there was someone who was willing to dress in drag for a horse. What a group of great people.
Cuz!! hey there and I hope you get to put the boat in soon. My back is killing me too. I remember Grandma coming and her room would always smell like BenGay. She kept on going!
Now I smell like Tiger Balm two times a day.
It is beautiful on the river right now. We are expecting rain and the temperature is dropping a little and the breeze picking up.
Yesterday I went for a ride on a big sportfish. They take the boat out once a week to run her up to speed (30knts) which is good for the engines and also to blow the crud off the bottom.
These are humongo Caterpillar engines and with the digital readout on the bridge you could see that at 27 knots the burn rate was 51 gallons an hour. Per engine. omg.
Cuz, this thing was as responsive as that little speedboat you used to let me drive. They backed right up to my boat and plucked me off my swim platform. 65' LWL of massive sportfish. 18'6" beam.
Love all you guys,
Cricket and Jen and Kuli and Linda and SelfishSib and Christina! and Flex and Angie thanks for the hug and and and everybody! There are quite a few of us now and we need to think about a convention somewhere.
Happy Saturday. Going now to help move a boat. It will be interesting in the rain.
lovbob
Igore, I hear ya! Call in those debts!! Cattails, you are a joy and I'm glad you're here!
Bobbie, Keep posting...everyone loves hearing from you, our Captain. Linda, I am so glad you are here with us! Do some stretches before getting on the bike and you will be able to do a little more before those muscles tighten up.. I got myself a little rebounder (mini-trampoline) for exercise and it's awesome and convenient.
I get a little time off this morning so I'm headed out to a raw food cooking class in hopes to learn some new things about eating healthier... funny it's called a cooking class, LOL Diane and SS where are you girls? Miz, Yay! you peeked in and let us know what's up with you.. I hope you get a great job through the temp agency! I won't ask where Christina is because I know she is studying like crazy for her test next week. Meanwhile2, Yay! I hope Omaha continues to do well and is happy! Cuz, you deserve a night off {{{{{Cuz}}}}} Everyone have a good day!
Love Cricketღ
So far I have been fortunate enough to only have to administer eye drops and insulin shots. Thankfully one of my dysfunctional stepdaughters is a CNA. I will be calling her ass and sayin something like " you owe me for letting you and the WESIL (wife's ex sonin Law) live her for awhile. The day of reckoning is here. Pay UP!!!"
I have been in Navy and done alot of other stuff but this dude is not checking out Mom's junk.
I have enough PTSD over past crap without adding to that.
And that concludes tonight's IGORE report!
Hugs to all.
lovCuz
I don't want to open a painful Pandora's Box for you. So you are absolutely free to say you don't want to go there. Where do you live? This is such a difficult economy to find work and benefits. My heart goes out to you for the losses and struggles you deal with. Just wanted to say hello and let you know I care. Love, Cattails.
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!