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Mary & Kathy so good to see you pop in for a bit. It's nice to have new faces on the crew, but I miss the oldies too. Regardless of where we are on this journey, its all familiar. Kuli, I've missed you too. I know you are beside yourself with grief still, but check in with us. Kuli, what was something your dad always encouraged you to do when you were caring for him, but didn't have enough time or energy? Maybe that could be a starting point to your new normal with dad's blessing. I know you and Linda are both trying to figure out where to find your place again. Maybe both of you should take a BOAT break.
Well dear ones I have to get to bed. Mom has already rung once for the evening.
And I'd like to be 35 pounds lighter by May 11, because then I'm flying to see my Granddaughter who I've not been able to see since 2008 because of taking care of my parents. This girl is like my own daughter and I am her mom/grandma. She is all we could hope for in a child. Responsible, hard working, going to college, working full time. Never whining about poor me, just a step up to the plate kid who gets the job done. The only thing she wants from me is to meet the guy she is going to marry before the wedding in August. This flight in May was her birthday gift to me. I am honored to be loved by her and I know she feels the same about me. Still, I am fretting about my dad and trying to make arrangements for his to have respite care so my husband will not have to be on call night and day while I'm gone. My husband also works, so he has obligations to keep us all afloat financially.
ELM: There's been a lot said on this thread over the past 4 days or so. Please go back and read those posts. They come from people who have given years to the care of their parents and are reaching the end of their rope. What they are saying is what you need to hear. I hope you can understand that the honesty in these posts is the most honest information you will ever get. Beyond that, we can't really offer much more.
Best wishes to you and try to do what is best for you and your mom. I doubt you can keep her home and accomplish her best care as well as yours. Good luck.
Ok newbies, here is the explanation of OBMAJ. It stands for Oh bite me Amber Jane! That was Bobbie's reply to a well meaning individual that was scolding us for not being better caregivers. 9 out of 10 times the comments are from individuals that have not been caregiving for long, or in one case someone who owned a facility. Little do these folks realize we have been in the trenches a long time and are so far past the "niceties" (sp) of caregiving. If said it before and I will say if again "CARING FOR AN ELDER IS NOTHING LIKE TAKING CARE OF A CHILD"!!!!!!! I don't have to tell you guys that. In fact, the OBMAJ became such a regular comment on this thread Peaches had some t-shirts made up with the OBMAJ. Of course no one but us knew what it stood for. If any of the oldies have more info on the OBMAJ, fill in anything I may have forgotten.
I wish my Mom was healthy and could move back in her home! I wish my wife was happy with her job! I wish my sons would quite arguing all the time. I wish management used common sense at my job. I wish my hair would grow back! What's that?? Mooooo, Mooooo, Moooo. Damn Cows! Couldn't you have stayed gone longer? The whole freakin herd just showed up!
Have you read any of the previous posts? You can wish til the cows come home, but that doesn't change reality. Find a way to preserve your sanity and seriously consider placing your mom.
I am trying, I really am. And, I do love my mother. I pray for tolerance and patience. I took care of her in her house before she came here. I was the only family member who went there (except my sons on a rare occasion) when I could not. I paid her bills, brought her groceries (72 mile drive after working all day), took her to the Dr. etc. The Dr's say she cannot learn anything new. So, when I corrected some of this unacceptable behavior in the beginning, I thought the Dr's were wrong, but if I don't keep constantly reminding her, she slips back. My rationale for expending all this energy is that I am trying to change what I cannot endure/live with--in order that I don't give up and put her in an institution. And, I tell her that....sometimes she gets it but after a year now, I have learned I am spinning my wheels and I have to just accept some of this. "That is the hard part!"
PS: I never saw any of this when I visited her in her house those 4 years--that's why I am still in shock even after one year.
Linda!! Diane!!!! OBMAJ!!!! real oldie but goodie!!!! Deef here and chuckling on the phone with Rip at the moment.
How are you girls doing? Know both of you have been through much these past few months and sure hope things are looking up. Been hectic as all hell around here as usual. Mom had a bad fall in January and broke her wrist. Got the cast off a few weeks ago. It was a huge problem for her and we waited for the day it came off. Now we wish it was back on. She's like an octopus!!!!! Grabbing everything in her wake!!! She's been staving off the UTI's for a while now and is doing better. But that one brain cell that's left is fading fast. Losing a few myself now. Husband still home and driving me CRAZY!!!! Okay, need to get back to Rip, on the phone, then bed for me!!! Night everyone!!! Deef
Share/Bookmark By Claudia Marshall-Apers Alzheimer's Reading Room
A spider sits in the middle of its web, spinning.
That spider is the brain of the Alzheimer's sufferer.
You jump into the web to help free the Alzheimer's sufferer. Instead you become trapped in the web as well.
The spider wraps you around and around with its amyloid plaques and tangles. You suddenly feel like a cocoon, unable to move. Oddly, no one is jumping in to free YOU, the accidental caregiver.
This makes you angry.
But you are too busy dealing with the situation to dwell on it. Yet you don't know how you can keep this up and for how long. What if something happens to me? You feel pretty sure that it will.
Slowly, you figure out how to function in this position in which you find yourself.
Somehow you learn how to breathe, move and meet your own needs as well as those of the Alzheimer's sufferer that you are helping.
You find out that the more you smile and create positive fun experiences for both you and the Alzheimer's sufferer the better they are and the better you are.
They smile. They laugh. They say things that make you smile and laugh.
You begin to break free.
You have figured out how to provide Sustainable Caregiving.
The spider has not devoured you. A wing emerges. You have become a butterfly.
A miracle happened this evening........all the guys cleared out of the house for almost 4 hours! It was so awesome to have my house to myself. I gave all 4 dogs a bath, did my workout and watched TV while doing so (without interruptions) finished a ton of towels and sheets in the laundry then cooked myself a really healthy dinner and got to eat in peace and quiet. I even got the kitchen all cleaned up and shined up! Ahh...it was so nice! Sighs... I hope the weather stays nice and they go out to the car show again next week. It's amazing how even the littlest things can mean so much to us when we don't get them. I hope everyone is having a pleasant night.
I only have a question/statement here. How did you react with your small children with the eating etc. Please take time to make sure mom's hands are clean when time to eat. Use and cloth napkin at the neckline and work with them. The eating may gross you out but when they are gone you will not remember this part of the caregiving just as when your children grow up you don't keep reminding them of how gross is was to watch them eat. Grooming items maybe need to be put away so mom does not see them when she is in the restroom. Just remember all this shall pass, we didn't come into this world knowing table manners etc and as the mind wonders so does the skills we once took for granted. Be patient and think of what your monther must have thought of your manners at age 0-5. Hopefully at least she isn't throwing food like sibblings do from time to time.
OMG: I also found my toothbrush with grey hair in it. The first time I didn't think how it got there, and cleaned out the hairs. It happened again, and I realized she was brushing her hair with my toothbrush. I keep my toothbrush hidden under the sink now. It is only "one" of the gross things she does. I used to sit down to eat with her, but cannot watch her eat anymore.....she picks bits of food out of her mouth the entire time she is chewing and leaves them on the rim of the plate. I will not buy cherries or grapes any more because as she chews, she picks the skin out of her mouth and lines them up along her plate or on the place mat. She belches and passes gas without excusing herself. I know she has dementia, but I can barely tolerate her bad manners--I cannot get beyond the repulsion. And there are other things. I cannot tell family members, because they don't want to hear it! It helps to know other caretakers are living with these atrocities. And I too will not use any utensils or bowls unlease they went through the full dishwasher cycle for the same reason mizunderstood cites. And she uses her fingers INSTEAD of the toothbrush. It amazes me I can even live with this--much more than feeling bad about being repulsed. She is lucky I keep her here with these disgusting practices. I will never get used to this!!!!
SS: If I may add something. I think your mom needs to move back to her home town. (Which sib was it that lived within 15 minutes of where your mom use to live?) Find her a rental there and set up the meals on wheels, etc.
My feeling is that your brother may or may not come thru on promises of assistance once you renew the lease and your mom remains in your back yard. Plus, a single month a year break from her isn't going to really change your life. You will still be doing 100% of the work eleven months out of the year. That just gives you a little taste of what life could be like and then she'll be back. Not good enough.
I'd tell your brother that it's 2 month on and 2 months off on a continuous rotation basis. Nothing less than that and he will have to set her up with a local doctor to deal with any emergencies while she is in his care.
Still you are in the same boat if you have signed the lease and your brother doesn't come through.
Hope all went well with the attorney today. Love and Hugs, Cattails.
Shirley, I hope Omaha starts to breathe better now and heals up. SS Please don't renew that lease! Once others see that you don't renew it they will know you mean what you say. Besides we can't wait on others to change our lives...we must take action ourselves. Lindaheart...go open the curtains and know that your Pa and the Angels are not far from you and only want to see you smile again. Love you!
Lucky is doing good, thanks guys for the positive comments.
SS let us know how it went at the lawyer-I hope he was impressed for all you did on your own and hang tough do not renew the lease-it is time to have her someplace else and she should realize that I can not understand how selfish these people can be-my mother did very little for her mother greadma had her own little house which she stayed in and was no work for my mother until she was about 95 and she died at 96 my mother makes her hair appointment and then tells my sister when it is instead of asking if that day is ok with her-she could aford a taxi if the tennent who does things for her is busy-he does not work so he usually is available and if she was not such a witch my bil would do things for her.
Just talked to the Vet. He just finished doing surgery on Omaha's nose. Said he had to take out a piece of bone that was pushed into the sinus cavity. But, there are dozens of breaks, even in the septum between the sinus's. He said he straightened it out as best he could. He still isn't breathing as well as he should. The Vet was worried about that. Hoping it gets better as some of the swelling goes down. Should know more in a few days. For those of you that don't know, Omaha is a 3 year old horse from the animal shelter, that got his nose crushed by a mountain lion bite. I am optimistic. This really sweet horse, is just meant to survive.
Kuli, I am so worried about you. Have you talked to a doctor? I don't think anyone should put a time limit on grief, but depression??? Is there something you would enjoy doing? Try and go for something. Your Dad would want that. I still hear my dear husband saying, "Get out of here, and go ride your horse". He said it in a very loving way. Linda, best wishes. Going through your Dad's old things is bound to bring back memories. Try to think of good ones. It is a beautiful day, and I'm going to saddle up a horse. Hope everyone else has a good day. (SS, stick to those guns). We are all behind you. Shirley
selfishsibbling - i am so sorry that you gotta be the bad one . my brother s heart broke when he had to be the bad guy . my heart is with you dear . hope today s visit with lawyer will be a breeze for you . sending my angels with you dear . may u feel a weigh or 2 off your shoulders . love you SS .. meanwhile- sending a speedy recovery to ur horsey , i d love one day to ride ur horsey s back . i wanna kiss his nose :-) and hug him .
i am doing ok . lazy today . gonna kick my hindend up a little and start doing something . i went in dad s room and shook my head in shame . think dad s frowning at me , to leave his room dark and collecting dust . i think i shall go in there today , open up the curtains . make the bed . yep i think i ll do that . are u ready kuli ? come on over and we do it together . margaritta be ready too . hey we can smoke in dad s room :-) . bobbie ! where are you !!!! we ll need ur coffee afterwards . i love you all and love to have a reunion on barbara b "s boat :-) . when is the reunion bobbie ? injore - ow ! head injury is awful ! hope this week will be a peaceul week for u .
ted ! wheres ur cat ? im missing him ....
cuz - thinking of you and hope all is well at your way .
alrighty i m going to go make me one mean coffee and go stand in pa s room . wish me luck . xoxoxo
Ok, so I lied about "the only post today!" Need to get going though.....June - thanks for your thoughts. Yes, I prepaid most of both of their funeral expenses as part of the spend down. And I am trying to get tough. But really, if no one steps up to the plate and says, yeah, I'll take her for a month or two, I'm right back to where I started and it will kill me. The only other thing I can do is refuse to sign the lease extension for her apartment (it's under my name because they don't have a credit history) and say then you'll need to go live with one of the other two or back to your hometown. I've pretty much already said all this, a few times now. I just don't get why people think I'm bluffing, cause I not. I'll keep you all posted.
Cricket, Christina, Bobbie, June, Jsomebody, Rosella, Dtflex, Cattails and all you angels, have a glorious day!! :)
SS that is a lot of work I was amazed at the medicaide paperwork-it about drove me crazy and only got it started when my husband died-you probably know you can use his money to prepay the funeral. I am glad you got tough with you family-it is about time someone else steped up to the plate-we don't get any points for being dumped on-that's for sure.
Only this post today. Sent email to my brother and my mother yesterday, (remember, she's still independent, old, but independent), saying here are your options for Mom's living arrangements. Which included shipping her off to an apartment back in her hometown or brother takes her at least two months a year or I'm not re-upping the current lease. I did call my mother last night. She thinks I'm mad because "they don't visit." I could give two shits whether they visit or not!! I want help with the responsibility of her care, not a visit. So I told her to call my brother and figure it out or off you go. We shall see.
Off to the lawyers office in a few hours to file all the Medicaid paperwork for my Dad, (see there's two of them and ONE of me), which took me weeks to put together, life insurance policies to sell, selling stock we never knew he had, 5 years of bank statements, SS forms galore. Blah, blah, blah.....please enjoy the day everyone and luv to all!!
Prayers for your coworker, Igore. A driver on one of my husband's jobs got his arm ripped off last week. 15 hours in surgery. Healing Blessings. Night night everyone. Ttyl. Love, Christina xo
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APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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Well dear ones I have to get to bed. Mom has already rung once for the evening.
Love ya,
Diane
ELM: There's been a lot said on this thread over the past 4 days or so. Please go back and read those posts. They come from people who have given years to the care of their parents and are reaching the end of their rope. What they are saying is what you need to hear. I hope you can understand that the honesty in these posts is the most honest information you will ever get. Beyond that, we can't really offer much more.
Best wishes to you and try to do what is best for you and your mom. I doubt you can keep her home and accomplish her best care as well as yours. Good luck.
Have a good night oldies and newbies!
Love ya,
Diane
Love ya cattails....
PS: I never saw any of this when I visited her in her house those 4 years--that's why I am still in shock even after one year.
How are you girls doing? Know both of you have been through much these past few months and sure hope things are looking up. Been hectic as all hell around here as usual. Mom had a bad fall in January and broke her wrist. Got the cast off a few weeks ago. It was a huge problem for her and we waited for the day it came off. Now we wish it was back on. She's like an octopus!!!!! Grabbing everything in her wake!!!
She's been staving off the UTI's for a while now and is doing better. But that one brain cell that's left is fading fast. Losing a few myself now. Husband still home and driving me CRAZY!!!!
Okay, need to get back to Rip, on the phone, then bed for me!!! Night everyone!!! Deef
I hear Deeer punching her keyboard!
Share/Bookmark
By Claudia Marshall-Apers
Alzheimer's Reading Room
A spider sits in the middle of its web, spinning.
That spider is the brain of the Alzheimer's sufferer.
You jump into the web to help free the Alzheimer's sufferer. Instead you become trapped in the web as well.
The spider wraps you around and around with its amyloid plaques and tangles. You suddenly feel like a cocoon, unable to move. Oddly, no one is jumping in to free YOU, the accidental caregiver.
This makes you angry.
But you are too busy dealing with the situation to dwell on it. Yet you don't know how you can keep this up and for how long. What if something happens to me? You feel pretty sure that it will.
Slowly, you figure out how to function in this position in which you find yourself.
Somehow you learn how to breathe, move and meet your own needs as well as those of the Alzheimer's sufferer that you are helping.
You find out that the more you smile and create positive fun experiences for both you and the Alzheimer's sufferer the better they are and the better you are.
They smile. They laugh. They say things that make you smile and laugh.
You begin to break free.
You have figured out how to provide Sustainable Caregiving.
The spider has not devoured you. A wing emerges. You have become a butterfly.
A miracle happened this evening........all the guys cleared out of the house for almost 4 hours! It was so awesome to have my house to myself. I gave all 4 dogs a bath, did my workout and watched TV while doing so (without interruptions) finished a ton of towels and sheets in the laundry then cooked myself a really healthy dinner and got to eat in peace and quiet. I even got the kitchen all cleaned up and shined up! Ahh...it was so nice! Sighs... I hope the weather stays nice and they go out to the car show again next week. It's amazing how even the littlest things can mean so much to us when we don't get them. I hope everyone is having a pleasant night.
Love Cricketღ
My feeling is that your brother may or may not come thru on promises of assistance once you renew the lease and your mom remains in your back yard. Plus, a single month a year break from her isn't going to really change your life. You will still be doing 100% of the work eleven months out of the year. That just gives you a little taste of what life could be like and then she'll be back. Not good enough.
I'd tell your brother that it's 2 month on and 2 months off on a continuous rotation basis. Nothing less than that and he will have to set her up with a local doctor to deal with any emergencies while she is in his care.
Still you are in the same boat if you have signed the lease and your brother doesn't come through.
Hope all went well with the attorney today. Love and Hugs, Cattails.
SS Please don't renew that lease! Once others see that you don't renew it they will know you mean what you say. Besides we can't wait on others to change our lives...we must take action ourselves.
Lindaheart...go open the curtains and know that your Pa and the Angels are not far from you and only want to see you smile again. Love you!
Lucky is doing good, thanks guys for the positive comments.
Love to All,
Cricket♥
Linda, best wishes. Going through your Dad's old things is bound to bring back memories. Try to think of good ones.
It is a beautiful day, and I'm going to saddle up a horse.
Hope everyone else has a good day. (SS, stick to those guns). We are all behind you. Shirley
my heart is with you dear . hope today s visit with lawyer will be a breeze for you . sending my angels with you dear . may u feel a weigh or 2 off your shoulders . love you SS ..
meanwhile- sending a speedy recovery to ur horsey , i d love one day to ride ur horsey s back . i wanna kiss his nose :-) and hug him .
i am doing ok . lazy today . gonna kick my hindend up a little and start doing something . i went in dad s room and shook my head in shame . think dad s frowning at me , to leave his room dark and collecting dust . i think i shall go in there today , open up the curtains . make the bed . yep i think i ll do that . are u ready kuli ? come on over and we do it together . margaritta be ready too . hey we can smoke in dad s room :-) . bobbie ! where are you !!!! we ll need ur coffee afterwards . i love you all and love to have a reunion on barbara b "s boat :-) . when is the reunion bobbie ?
injore - ow ! head injury is awful ! hope this week will be a peaceul week for u .
ted ! wheres ur cat ? im missing him ....
cuz - thinking of you and hope all is well at your way .
alrighty i m going to go make me one mean coffee and go stand in pa s room . wish me luck . xoxoxo
Cricket, Christina, Bobbie, June, Jsomebody, Rosella, Dtflex, Cattails and all you angels, have a glorious day!! :)
Much luv,
-SS
Only this post today. Sent email to my brother and my mother yesterday, (remember, she's still independent, old, but independent), saying here are your options for Mom's living arrangements. Which included shipping her off to an apartment back in her hometown or brother takes her at least two months a year or I'm not re-upping the current lease. I did call my mother last night. She thinks I'm mad because "they don't visit." I could give two shits whether they visit or not!! I want help with the responsibility of her care, not a visit. So I told her to call my brother and figure it out or off you go. We shall see.
Off to the lawyers office in a few hours to file all the Medicaid paperwork for my Dad, (see there's two of them and ONE of me), which took me weeks to put together, life insurance policies to sell, selling stock we never knew he had, 5 years of bank statements, SS forms galore. Blah, blah, blah.....please enjoy the day everyone and luv to all!!
Cricket: So happy for our Lucky. Keep us posted.
Meanwhile. I'm keeping Omaha in my prayers.
Bobbie: Someday I'm going to travel to your BOAT and meet you face to face.
Lildeb: We could toss a salad or feed Jo Mama In Law to the worms.
Jen: Your grandpa can go to the worms too.
Love to everyone, Cattails.
Night night everyone. Ttyl. Love, Christina xo