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Okay, we have burn, we have liftoff, I'm getting myself the hell into bed. Rising early, and when you read this, I'll probably been on the road! Thanks for all the moral support! It was really great. When I come back I plan to bring jokes for all of you. They're always good. Love, Hannalee
Have good news, My neighbor has been at MD Anderson cancer center in Houston, since last Nov. He is finally home. Thin, and bald, with terrible scars on the back of his head. But, despite everything, is doing well. Nice guy. I'm happy for him. He has to go back for more treatments soon. I don't know him well enough to get all the details, but he said it was going well. Played with the new horse today. He is getting more energy. Got him to trot leading him on a halter. He has a beautiful, long stride. Looking forward to being able to ride him. My 12 year old horse, was so jealous, I had to saddle him up and go for a ride. He pranced, and did everything I asked perfectly. A little competition there.
Let the force (oops strength) be with us.... okay I'm being silly tonight. I got my new juicer delivered today and I love it. Bobbie, all you can do is try, then you have to let it go or it will overwhelm both of you. Want me to come visit you? You sound like you could use some moral support. You know I am in Florida halfway between Miami and Orlando...are you that far from me? Email me at cricket in the frying pan @ comcast dot net and lets talk about it.
Hi everyone, hey did someone say that there was a new thread created for life after caregiving? Maybe that's where several have run off to... oh that reminds me of one of my favorite lines from Oh Brother, where art' thou? The one where the boy says his ma run off... spelled runnoft! she done runnoft, haha if you haven't seem that movie it is a must! Well I'm off for the night. Love, prayers and hugs to all and to all a good night (oh brother!)
Hi Gang, Imagine my surprise coming back after several days to find a gross comment! Well, I almost DID throw up after reading it, but we are made of tough stuff here. I was never too good at being gross or reading about it, but that is what we are here for. Hurl away, Stormy. Anyway, missing you all and hope Linda is feeling better. My sweet LindaHeart, Red Heart of Rosella Bella of the Snow.keeping warm, KimBo being a nice landlady, etc. Diane, Jen, Selfish Siblings blessings and small favors to you from Heaven. Captain and Boat Angel, love and strength where it is needed, tolerance of what is good for what ails one, and surrender to what will heal one. To the prolific Hannalee, drive carefully, meanwhile: whinny, whinny, neeiigghh, snort snort, xo; angelhair, ucantcare, taking care and all others: hugs from a giant teddy bear. CricketyPoo: i wuv you; Cuz, u r da bomb:). Love you guys. Christina xo
hi you all . same old shit here , pa s sleeping way more and few bites for bfast this morn , breakin my heart . kicked my dog out of my big room yesterday . she peed on the rug and it stunk so bad . got her a nice plastic dog house and set it close to the house . her and another cat crawled up in there and slept together to keep eachother warm . so i think its working out perfect , as it is getting warmer outside so it be better for her to be outside . wake up and pee anytime and have no complaints and sorry eyes starin at me . i have shampooed the rugs and it still smells her pee . gonna redo it over again one more time and if that doesnt help i may just set it on fire .
bobbie i sure wish i could come to ur boat and help ya out . i will be there one day when my time with dad is over . hope i can , may just have to hunt for a job , shit that sucks ... will see . . big hugs to you dear . yep where is miz ! she left us waaaaaaaaaaaa . kimberly - yooo hooo . missing you and ur spiders . :-) hannalee . zooom tmr is a good day for u to zoom whoo hoo , where ya going if ya dont mind telling . im sorry to hear ur mom cant get up anymore . pa is the same way , decling so much . hopefully ur sis will see that and spendmore time with you and mom during those days . meanwhile , hug ur new horsey for me . jen- girl scout cookies , yummie and dont feel bad i didnt get any either . daughter said she orderd some and end up keepin it for herself lol . cricket - hug and kisses to ur daddy . he s a sweetheart . just like my daddy . christina - woo hoo . hope ure all bubbley today . hugs to ur mommie , alrighty im sittin here sniffin dog piss and its killin my sinus , i best get the shampooer out and do the slavery work . austin ! many hugs and kisses , winnie too ! xoxox
Good Morning Crew, it's about 70 degrees and overcast with a chance of T showers later. the boat angel is below sleeping after staying awake all night following a call from his doctor. they are stopping treatments.
Cricket, I am trying to get him to want to go for alternatives! don't know if we will be successful but am trying.
It's peaceful here but the sadness has invaded the boat. Main reason I didn't want to get close to anyone but of course it's now too late. I could use someone to come and just make all the decisions and tell me what the hay to do. Just like every other person who is a caregiver....
You guys are amazing and Hannalee, you go on that trip and have a blast. You have done the hard part of providing logistics for your mom through your sister, now go and tear it up!
Kuli! thanks for the hug! It means more to me than you know!
Lilliput! where are you and why did you change out to anonymous? I have been thinking about you over and over! whassup? can you tell us if you are ok?
meanwhile, you are a perfect sweetheart and I thank you for your support. That horse sounds like a little dream and probably just needed to meet you to heal...
Ucantcaretoomuch.. thank you also for the hug and the support. you are a sweetheart Cuz! do the damn PT!! i don't care how long it takes! you too Linda! it's the thing that will enable you both to carry your carcasses on your own 2 legs far into the future! Cuz, I loved how you said you didn't have any jokes and then reeled one off about the vet. Very funny. When you post jokes of any kind I read them to Jeff and he always says: that's your cousin? where in the world does he get these jokes? And I always say, this is the one person in the world I'm sure I'm related to. Jokes and boats.
Rossella you are a wonderful voice of reason and soon rossella you will come and hang out on the boat!
Talked to Ted the other day and he is doing GREAT. that website is growing and he is active in his community and his mom is doing well. Ted has all kinds of home health and support going on and still credits this thread for helping him which I think is so sweet and so Ted! Love ya Ted in case you have dropped in to read...
I still miss Miz but if she is not reading or posting maybe her life has progressed to the point where she doesn't need to anymore.... Love ya Miz. check in with us if you're reading! love to M.
I think about Deef and I am glad that Flex is still posting even though I know that your situation is insane with the sibs.
Selfish Sibs! you too! thanks for the hug.
Christina! hope your studies are going well and thanks forever for keeping us in your prayers. Speaking of prayers, Angelhair! hope you are well and things are going ok.
Jen! you have already won a trip! many times over!! get yo ass to this boat! haha
ok, I hear stirrings below so the ones I didn't call out to: check in and give us all a holler!
this has not been proofread.....
Love you guys way more than you'll ever know, lovbob
Well, happy ending. My sister was okay, apparently in a sweet mood. We all love her when she's like that. She said, "If it's only once a night, no biggie." It might sometimes be more than that but I still don't believe it's a great biggie. When she is nice like that, of course I feel guilty for having said the things I said. Sometimes it doesn't turn out so well. I really feel if she does manage a total life change, that might all improve, and mainly for her sake, I sure hope it does. When she's better able to hear it, I'll have to muster my courage and tell her what I really think--without being needlessly cruel.
So I'm still going on vacation!!! Got a shitload to do still!!!! OX, Hannalee
If your sister absolutely refuses, please hire a person who helps her during the night, but don't give up your trip! Jen, girl scout cookies??? Give them all to your grandpa!
Whine whine grouse grouse...watched Wheel of Fortune last night and a Jennifer A. won a trip to Jamaica and it wasn't;'ME God that hurt. I got excited and shouldn't have...Girl scout cookies came, mom surprised, I ordered them for out of state cousin selling em...she offered to use fart pants money to reimburse me...mostly so she can fell better about giving him all of them... what ever...week almost over, like it matters... Stay well all...best you can anyhow.
As for commode issues, been there done that....be careful, the compromise is dignity versus safety...hard choice which to ere on the side of....
Rossella--absolutely. My problem is if I even ask (not demand!) that my sister do certain things, there could be a nuclear explosion. It's sort of blackmail. Mom's therapist today kind of agreed, it looks like Mom cannot get up on her own, no matter how much I wish she could. Just to keep the peace. I just sent my email with this info to my sister. Now I just have to wait. Expecting the explosion, but it's better for her to know this while still at home, so there's a chance she'll be over it when she gets here. I don't want to be unfair to her, it's not that she doesn't try to help and doesn't appreciate what I've been doing, it's just she's capricious.
Hannalee, from my point of view your sister should be ready to do ANYTHING, even to be awake all night long, if it's only for 2 weeks! My goodness. You do it all the time. Really, these siblings of ours are so selfish. My two cousins, the daughters of my mother's sisters, told me clearly that they could "never" clean their mom's poop. Of course they "can't", they have never been obliged to do it because their mothers didn't need it. Really those people live in another world.
My niece is coming today, my sister is coming Saturday. I'm leaving early Saturday morning (5 am). The bonus that my sister is not coming tomorrow as planned is that I won't have to see her. She is getting her house ready to try to sell. Meanwhile she has finally had it with her job of 25 years and quit. And I understand that. Now she's in a tight situation. Of course I love her and I'm concerned about what's happening with her. I hope the best happens and the house will sell quickly and she can start a new life, with less stress, which I hope will help her. But meanwhile she's a volcano that will probably erupt I don't know when. I have to leave my mother with this. I know I should go (don't worry, I'm not thinking of not going) just because it's very unlikely I'll get a long vacation again, such a luxury. And I can't go on like this. I already told my sister this because I want to head the next demands and arguments off at the pass: yes, I'm still okay getting up in the middle of the night, taking care of Mom all the time, no, we don't have to pressure Mom to liquidate further assets that I know will make her incredibly anxious. That's what I want to avoid. Meanwhile my sister has been borrowing from our bank account to fix up her house and get along generally. She gives me a couple of very weak stories. But I know she's good for it. I trust her on that score. She did finally tell me something. I know she'll pay it back when she can--if she keeps good enough track.
The volcano is likely to erupt when she realizes Mom is not capable of using a bedside commode instead of us getting up at night. My sister told me she just didn't think she could get up during the night, she was too tired. Which I believe. But I think Mom is just too weak and confused in the middle of the night. She now hates the commode, which she saw for the first time last night. She threw herself on the bed and said we weren't going to put her away. I said, "I have no intention of putting you away! That's why I'm here!" And other things, like we'll try to get more help probably eventually, and the commode is just a way to help us not be so tired. She used it once during the night (with me). This morning I saw that she had been to the bathroom herself. She does not want to use the commode. I'm sure she has been worrying so much about it she probably slept badly. That means it won't be a good day. But what I'm worried about is how I'll tell my sister. If she knew it's just because Mom is pissy about it (and it's not just because of that, but she might think so), that could set the stage for an awful confrontation that is about my sister venting about her own life. The only saving grace is my niece will be here a couple of days. Maybe they'll get it out of the way early, while she's still here. She won't have me here as an irritant. I've been trying to find ways to have help as much as possible, have everything done, all the pills, all the laundry. And have other people here, who would inhibit tantrums.
I have two more nights to help Mom with the commode. I don't expect success, but my sister will see I've tried. I can tell her by email that she can see for herself, Mom is too weak to be able to get herself even from the bed to the commode, position herself right, so that we don't have to worry about her falling. I will probably have to tell her that I don't think we should let her use it alone. I hope my mother will not talk about hating it, so my sister will suspect that's the real reason she can't use it. That's what I just pray won't happen. Believe me, I'm no angel, but my sister... she's gotten worse. So I told her, I don't expect her to come again and step in for this long a time to do all that Mom needs. And it is a lot to ask. I told her that next time someone else will be here to help. We're going to get to that point. I hope we can just get through my sister changing her life and hopefully our finances improving again. I want my sister and my mother to both have the best of each other as much as possible. Frankly, it doesn't look good for me and my sister, but as I heard Ram Dass say once in a video, if you can't show love to each other, try at least not to hurt each other. So I don't expect that much more of myself right now.
If we watch Mom's liquids she might not wake up till about 5, she often can sleep that long, so maybe that will be okay with my sister. I'm going to keep thinking about this and maybe other solutions will occur to me. Thanks for listening--love, Hannalee
Good Morning everyone, Linda I love how you can lay down with Pa and sleep. So many people forget how important touch is. Just laying close to him gives him comfort. When I go visit my girls in the mornings we usually all end up on someones bed talking and it is a good feeling to have that special closeness. I try to give my dad a hug or just touch him on the shoulder to let him know I care and it really makes him feel good to know. Rossella, I love hearing your "Mom" adventures and dialogs :) My Dad really likes to get in the car and go for short rides so I usually take him with me all the time unless I'm going to be gone for more than an hour. How's everyone doing today... please check in when you can even if it's to just say Hi. It's time for me to do my studies now. Love and hugs! *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Bobbi, so sorry about your Boat Angel. Cancer sucks. Rosella, glad to hear the snow is melting. Do find a way to get to Paris for your friends wedding. You certianly deserve a vacation. Linda, take care of your self, and rest that back. You too Cuz. And everyone else as well. I went for a walk at lunch with supergirl again. You think I would learn. My feet hurt. Going to go soak them. The foster horse, Omaha actually got into a trot today. Been here week and a half, and is the 1st time he has gotten out of a walk. Hopefully, he is getting stronger. Sure hope we can adopt him. Sweetest horse I've ever been around.
Hi everybody. No news here. Well the snow is melting and I could take the car, since yesterday. And I could take my mother for a ride, which relaxed her a little bit. She likes to watch from the window and today she was very pissed off at the people who left all that "white thing" everywhere. I said: "Mom, this is snow, and you have to complain with God, because "He" sends snow" and she wasn't happy I was saying such a blasphemous thing. She hasn't forgotten her religion at all. Then I bought her an ice cream, she grimaced and said "This is really icy" but she ate it all. So we are going back to, let's say, "normal". (My idea of "normal" has quite changed these last years). My next vacation? Hopefully next june to Paris because one of my dearest friends is getting married for the first time, a brave choice at our age! I should go there with my cousin Franca and another cousin. Shoud be fun! I hope I can manage it.... Cricket I hope you can see Christina, Kim and Linda. That should be really good! I think that after 10 awkward minutes you'll start to talk and you won't stop for hours!
HI you all . rossella thank you for the purtty red heart i love it !! ure a sweetheart .
cuz - i do like that therapy i had today . and yeah i have homework to do here at home too . ill do it when i can , prob be at night time . when all the varmits are sleeping . thanks for offering to take my pain , u have enuff of it i ll keep mine with me and beat the crap out of it :-)
austin- yes ur friend winnie knows ur voice and your smell and ur touch . bless ur heart for sittin with her and hold her hands , ure a true friend to her . big hugs !!!!
its rainin out and thinkin about a nap but also thinkin about walkin my dogs , ummm which is better ? a nap of course !!! weeeeeee .
cricket - love ur heart too ! thank you so much . i wish i know how to do those design , it will take me a year or so to get em right lol , prob never cuz my mind doesnt work that way . keep em comin cuz theyre awesome to look at .
my mind has gone blank , guess its nappy poo time . pa had his bath and whined the whole time . i sorry pa u skip mondays bath so yes today u are gettin one . but did he , i told him he smells sooo good ! last night he kept whinin wanna me to lay with him when i told him i was going to bed , he kinda scoot over said lay here with me . im thinkin oh gosh i tld him this bed is so small pa . he sai dno its not i make room and scooted over lit bit so i told him i be back with blanket and pillow so i took muscle relaxer and did that and laid with him . fell sleep 4 hrs . i woke up cuz he was whiney and said he wasnt comfertable i said ok i go lay on the couch ., it was prob my snoring that kept him awake hee heee . ok back is hollaring to lay down , i best g o rest my back . love you all and hope ur day is good as mine . hannalee - u wont be tired once u get in the care and zoom , it ll wake ya up and feelin pressures slippin off ur shoulders and remmy shut ur phone off .
Hanna, take that sleep medicine and get a good nights sleep for your adventure is about to begin.. breathe in the fresh air and drink up the sunshine, that is if you have any. Free up your mind of worries and just get rested and refocused. Think.. this is going to be great!
Rossella, the work you are doing for your Mother is divine. Imagine how much insight and understanding the whole experience is giving you. It's very sad and painfully so much to bear but isn't it the hardships in our lives the ones we learn the most from? Not that you or I would wish this on anyone but when things happen in our lives that really challenge us we can either run from it or embrace it with our whole souls and do the best we can. You are whole souled, you and many others here. By the way, when are you planning to take your next 2 day respite? I am going to start making preparations for a 1 month respite towards the end of Summer. I want to drive out to Cali and take my Grandsons out for their first real camping trip on one of the Rivers, and I'm definitely getting together with Christina (maybe she will brave the camping trip, hint hint) and oh Kimmy and Linda if it works out well I might swing buy on the drive and take you two girls out for lunch with me! Or bring lunch, lol Either way I want to meet you both even if it is only for an hour or two. My next trip Dad is staying home! I learned my lesson by taking him last time. I will most likely have one or two of the dogs with me and when I am feeling stressed now all I have to do is think about the long drive across the country with peace and quiet and audiobooks!
I'm off to take Dad to get his routine Eye Exam soon so it's time to go.
Hi everyone, happy Valentine's. I made my mother a chocolate cake. She insisted, she was so disappointed that I hadn't come up with candy or something.
Hey Rossella... I sure hope it didn't sound like I thought you were harsh about your mother and judging you. I understand perfectly. You were just telling the truth absolutely straight. I told you what I try to do. I usually don't make it, I just keep trying to see my mother as she used to be although she's not like that too much lately. On the other hand, she's said to me a few times in the last weeks, "You have no shoes on your feet! Put some shoes on your feet!" THAT is MY mother. I understand 100 percent. And my mom is closer to being herself than I think your poor mom is.
I WISH I could go to the hospital and get a rest. I wouldn't mind. I thought I was really sick at one point this last year, and I have to confess, feeling stupid about this, I was disappointed when I realized I probably wasn't. I know I can't be the only one. But I'm going on vacation. Tomorrow I'm washing the dogs. Don't worry, nothing is going to stop me. But I'll probably have to take some sleep medicine the night before... love to everyone, and hope you feel love in your lives today-- Hannalee
And Hannah, anyway, as tired as you are, make that trip! You'll be better as soon as you get into that car. I took 3 vacations of 2 days each, last year, and every time I resurrected!
On the other thread, one of the caregiver ladies said she had to go to the hospital one day and she was very well taken care of by the staff, and she was happy about the mini vacation! And the other ladies of course commented that it's crazy we have to go to the hospital so someone takes care of us!
Bobbie, I am sorry for your friend - because he is a friend - and Austin, I am sorry for yours. In a way, losing a friend is even worse than losing a parent. Hannah, I know I sound harsh when I talk about my mother. I guess I am just tired after 3 years I live with her at home, and after 16 years I take care of her after my father's death. When my father died there was her depression, then she felt alone and I spent all my spare time with her, then she started to decline with Alzheimer and so on and so on, a long and slow decline until now - and she really is no more my mother now - her personality changed 100%. The last thing she made as my mother was I think one and a half year ago. I was half sleeping on the couch, she got up (she still could do it) and she put a blanket on me. And half sleeping I said "Thanks mom". This was my mother. The person she became doesn't even realize that I am as tired as hell and she is more and more and more demanding. So I am just drowning in the sorrow for her and for myself - if my "real" mother could see what my actual mother has become, she would be shocked. Believe me I still love her and think of her, I try to give her everything she likes. She still likes ice cream, she eats it in summer and in winter when the temperatures are under the snow temperature. And I go to look for icecreams wherever I find them... (and it's not easy believe me this period of the year). But I can't deny that the mother I knew is disappeared forever... Sad thoughts. Kisses everybody
Austin and Bobbie, Bless you both. Austin, Winnie knows you're there if not on a conscience level, unconsciously she knows. Take heart for there is no better place than to be beside the ones you love to comfort them in their passing. Bobbie, I hope your boat angel does let his family know and they can be a positive force for him and you. Whatever decisions he makes about what to do or not do is his choice and I respect that each one of us should make our own choices. I hope he gets better and finds peace in the process. You are right in considering you're own well being in this as well. Don't take on what is unhealthy for you either. You need to heal.
Bobbie you and the boat angel are in our thoughts and prayers. If there is anything we can do for you let us know. Update on my back..........therepy ends on thursday this week. I'm moving around alot better but they still want me to do the exercises three times aday. Holy cow that takes about a good 45 min to do them all and he says trhee times a day!!!!!!!!!! He must think I'm retired and I don't have the honey do list to attack. Linda the therepy does work but they don't realize what goes on in your everyday life. Hope they can do something for you or you can send the pain up my way and I will deal with it ok? Hugs to everyone on the site. Don't have any jokes tonight sooooooooo. I hope I can get ya some tommorro night. I'll come up with something. Here is a good one. This lady has to watch her nieghbors dog. His is a male and hers is a female. She figures the house is big ebough so they won't be bothered. Around 3:00am she here's this awful racket and goes to check it out and the two dogs are locked togather. She calls the vet and he says to her hang up and put the phone by them and I will call your number. She says how's that going to work? He says it worked for me. lovCuz
Bobbie may God bless you for all you are doing for the boat angel. Today when I went in to see Winnie I thought she had gone I could not hear or see her respitation and could not feel a pulse and got the charge nurse but we moved her around and she took a good breathe-I left a note for her daughter to tell her I would sit with her when ever I could-it is terrible people can not get time off from work at a time like this.
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Played with the new horse today. He is getting more energy. Got him to trot leading him on a halter. He has a beautiful, long stride. Looking forward to being able to ride him. My 12 year old horse, was so jealous, I had to saddle him up and go for a ride. He pranced, and did everything I asked perfectly. A little competition there.
Hi everyone, hey did someone say that there was a new thread created for life after caregiving? Maybe that's where several have run off to... oh that reminds me of one of my favorite lines from Oh Brother, where art' thou? The one where the boy says his ma run off... spelled runnoft! she done runnoft, haha if you haven't seem that movie it is a must! Well I'm off for the night. Love, prayers and hugs to all and to all a good night (oh brother!)
Cricket
Imagine my surprise coming back after several days to find a gross comment! Well, I almost DID throw up after reading it, but we are made of tough stuff here. I was never too good at being gross or reading about it, but that is what we are here for. Hurl away, Stormy.
Anyway, missing you all and hope Linda is feeling better. My sweet LindaHeart, Red Heart of Rosella Bella of the Snow.keeping warm, KimBo being a nice landlady, etc. Diane, Jen, Selfish Siblings blessings and small favors to you from Heaven. Captain and Boat Angel, love and strength where it is needed, tolerance of what is good for what ails one, and surrender to what will heal one. To the prolific Hannalee, drive carefully, meanwhile: whinny, whinny, neeiigghh, snort snort, xo; angelhair, ucantcare, taking care and all others: hugs from a giant teddy bear. CricketyPoo: i wuv you; Cuz, u r da bomb:). Love you guys. Christina xo
same old shit here ,
pa s sleeping way more and few bites for bfast this morn , breakin my heart .
kicked my dog out of my big room yesterday . she peed on the rug and it stunk so bad . got her a nice plastic dog house and set it close to the house . her and another cat crawled up in there and slept together to keep eachother warm . so i think its working out perfect , as it is getting warmer outside so it be better for her to be outside . wake up and pee anytime and have no complaints and sorry eyes starin at me . i have shampooed the rugs and it still smells her pee . gonna redo it over again one more time and if that doesnt help i may just set it on fire .
bobbie i sure wish i could come to ur boat and help ya out . i will be there one day when my time with dad is over . hope i can , may just have to hunt for a job , shit that sucks ... will see . . big hugs to you dear .
yep where is miz ! she left us waaaaaaaaaaaa . kimberly - yooo hooo . missing you and ur spiders . :-)
hannalee . zooom tmr is a good day for u to zoom whoo hoo , where ya going if ya dont mind telling . im sorry to hear ur mom cant get up anymore . pa is the same way , decling so much . hopefully ur sis will see that and spendmore time with you and mom during those days .
meanwhile , hug ur new horsey for me .
jen- girl scout cookies , yummie and dont feel bad i didnt get any either . daughter said she orderd some and end up keepin it for herself lol .
cricket - hug and kisses to ur daddy . he s a sweetheart . just like my daddy .
christina - woo hoo . hope ure all bubbley today . hugs to ur mommie ,
alrighty im sittin here sniffin dog piss and its killin my sinus , i best get the shampooer out and do the slavery work .
austin ! many hugs and kisses , winnie too ! xoxox
biting the bullet here contacting theaters period
it's about 70 degrees and overcast with a chance of T showers later. the boat angel is below sleeping after staying awake all night following a call from his doctor. they are stopping treatments.
Cricket, I am trying to get him to want to go for alternatives! don't know if we will be successful but am trying.
It's peaceful here but the sadness has invaded the boat. Main reason I didn't want to get close to anyone but of course it's now too late. I could use someone to come and just make all the decisions and tell me what the hay to do. Just like every other person who is a caregiver....
You guys are amazing and Hannalee, you go on that trip and have a blast. You have done the hard part of providing logistics for your mom through your sister, now go and tear it up!
Kuli! thanks for the hug! It means more to me than you know!
Lilliput! where are you and why did you change out to anonymous? I have been thinking about you over and over! whassup? can you tell us if you are ok?
meanwhile, you are a perfect sweetheart and I thank you for your support. That horse sounds like a little dream and probably just needed to meet you to heal...
Ucantcaretoomuch.. thank you also for the hug and the support. you are a sweetheart
Cuz! do the damn PT!! i don't care how long it takes! you too Linda! it's the thing that will enable you both to carry your carcasses on your own 2 legs far into the future!
Cuz, I loved how you said you didn't have any jokes and then reeled one off about the vet. Very funny. When you post jokes of any kind I read them to Jeff and he always says: that's your cousin? where in the world does he get these jokes? And I always say, this is the one person in the world I'm sure I'm related to. Jokes and boats.
Rossella you are a wonderful voice of reason and soon rossella you will come and hang out on the boat!
Talked to Ted the other day and he is doing GREAT. that website is growing and he is active in his community and his mom is doing well. Ted has all kinds of home health and support going on and still credits this thread for helping him which I think is so sweet and so Ted! Love ya Ted in case you have dropped in to read...
I still miss Miz but if she is not reading or posting maybe her life has progressed to the point where she doesn't need to anymore.... Love ya Miz. check in with us if you're reading! love to M.
I think about Deef and I am glad that Flex is still posting even though I know that your situation is insane with the sibs.
Selfish Sibs! you too! thanks for the hug.
Christina! hope your studies are going well and thanks forever for keeping us in your prayers.
Speaking of prayers, Angelhair! hope you are well and things are going ok.
Jen! you have already won a trip! many times over!! get yo ass to this boat! haha
ok, I hear stirrings below so the ones I didn't call out to: check in and give us all a holler!
this has not been proofread.....
Love you guys way more than you'll ever know,
lovbob
So I'm still going on vacation!!! Got a shitload to do still!!!!
OX, Hannalee
Jen, girl scout cookies??? Give them all to your grandpa!
Stay well all...best you can anyhow.
As for commode issues, been there done that....be careful, the compromise is dignity versus safety...hard choice which to ere on the side of....
The volcano is likely to erupt when she realizes Mom is not capable of using a bedside commode instead of us getting up at night. My sister told me she just didn't think she could get up during the night, she was too tired. Which I believe. But I think Mom is just too weak and confused in the middle of the night. She now hates the commode, which she saw for the first time last night. She threw herself on the bed and said we weren't going to put her away. I said, "I have no intention of putting you away! That's why I'm here!" And other things, like we'll try to get more help probably eventually, and the commode is just a way to help us not be so tired. She used it once during the night (with me). This morning I saw that she had been to the bathroom herself. She does not want to use the commode. I'm sure she has been worrying so much about it she probably slept badly. That means it won't be a good day. But what I'm worried about is how I'll tell my sister. If she knew it's just because Mom is pissy about it (and it's not just because of that, but she might think so), that could set the stage for an awful confrontation that is about my sister venting about her own life. The only saving grace is my niece will be here a couple of days. Maybe they'll get it out of the way early, while she's still here. She won't have me here as an irritant. I've been trying to find ways to have help as much as possible, have everything done, all the pills, all the laundry. And have other people here, who would inhibit tantrums.
I have two more nights to help Mom with the commode. I don't expect success, but my sister will see I've tried. I can tell her by email that she can see for herself, Mom is too weak to be able to get herself even from the bed to the commode, position herself right, so that we don't have to worry about her falling. I will probably have to tell her that I don't think we should let her use it alone. I hope my mother will not talk about hating it, so my sister will suspect that's the real reason she can't use it. That's what I just pray won't happen. Believe me, I'm no angel, but my sister... she's gotten worse. So I told her, I don't expect her to come again and step in for this long a time to do all that Mom needs. And it is a lot to ask. I told her that next time someone else will be here to help. We're going to get to that point. I hope we can just get through my sister changing her life and hopefully our finances improving again. I want my sister and my mother to both have the best of each other as much as possible. Frankly, it doesn't look good for me and my sister, but as I heard Ram Dass say once in a video, if you can't show love to each other, try at least not to hurt each other. So I don't expect that much more of myself right now.
If we watch Mom's liquids she might not wake up till about 5, she often can sleep that long, so maybe that will be okay with my sister. I'm going to keep thinking about this and maybe other solutions will occur to me. Thanks for listening--love, Hannalee
Linda I love how you can lay down with Pa and sleep. So many people forget how important touch is. Just laying close to him gives him comfort. When I go visit my girls in the mornings we usually all end up on someones bed talking and it is a good feeling to have that special closeness. I try to give my dad a hug or just touch him on the shoulder to let him know I care and it really makes him feel good to know.
Rossella, I love hearing your "Mom" adventures and dialogs :) My Dad really likes to get in the car and go for short rides so I usually take him with me all the time unless I'm going to be gone for more than an hour.
How's everyone doing today... please check in when you can even if it's to just say Hi. It's time for me to do my studies now. Love and hugs!
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
I went for a walk at lunch with supergirl again. You think I would learn. My feet hurt. Going to go soak them. The foster horse, Omaha actually got into a trot today. Been here week and a half, and is the 1st time he has gotten out of a walk. Hopefully, he is getting stronger. Sure hope we can adopt him. Sweetest horse I've ever been around.
cuz - i do like that therapy i had today . and yeah i have homework to do here at home too . ill do it when i can , prob be at night time . when all the varmits are sleeping . thanks for offering to take my pain , u have enuff of it i ll keep mine with me and beat the crap out of it :-)
austin- yes ur friend winnie knows ur voice and your smell and ur touch . bless ur heart for sittin with her and hold her hands , ure a true friend to her . big hugs !!!!
its rainin out and thinkin about a nap but also thinkin about walkin my dogs , ummm which is better ? a nap of course !!! weeeeeee .
cricket - love ur heart too ! thank you so much . i wish i know how to do those design , it will take me a year or so to get em right lol , prob never cuz my mind doesnt work that way . keep em comin cuz theyre awesome to look at .
my mind has gone blank , guess its nappy poo time . pa had his bath and whined the whole time . i sorry pa u skip mondays bath so yes today u are gettin one . but did he , i told him he smells sooo good !
last night he kept whinin wanna me to lay with him when i told him i was going to bed , he kinda scoot over said lay here with me . im thinkin oh gosh i tld him this bed is so small pa . he sai dno its not i make room and scooted over lit bit so i told him i be back with blanket and pillow so i took muscle relaxer and did that and laid with him . fell sleep 4 hrs . i woke up cuz he was whiney and said he wasnt comfertable i said ok i go lay on the couch ., it was prob my snoring that kept him awake hee heee .
ok back is hollaring to lay down , i best g o rest my back .
love you all and hope ur day is good as mine .
hannalee - u wont be tired once u get in the care and zoom , it ll wake ya up and feelin pressures slippin off ur shoulders and remmy shut ur phone off .
bobbie - love ya girl .... xoxo
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Rossella, the work you are doing for your Mother is divine. Imagine how much insight and understanding the whole experience is giving you. It's very sad and painfully so much to bear but isn't it the hardships in our lives the ones we learn the most from? Not that you or I would wish this on anyone but when things happen in our lives that really challenge us we can either run from it or embrace it with our whole souls and do the best we can. You are whole souled, you and many others here. By the way, when are you planning to take your next 2 day respite? I am going to start making preparations for a 1 month respite towards the end of Summer. I want to drive out to Cali and take my Grandsons out for their first real camping trip on one of the Rivers, and I'm definitely getting together with Christina (maybe she will brave the camping trip, hint hint) and oh Kimmy and Linda if it works out well I might swing buy on the drive and take you two girls out for lunch with me! Or bring lunch, lol Either way I want to meet you both even if it is only for an hour or two. My next trip Dad is staying home! I learned my lesson by taking him last time. I will most likely have one or two of the dogs with me and when I am feeling stressed now all I have to do is think about the long drive across the country with peace and quiet and audiobooks!
I'm off to take Dad to get his routine Eye Exam soon so it's time to go.
Love and Hugs to you all,
Cricket
Hey Rossella... I sure hope it didn't sound like I thought you were harsh about your mother and judging you. I understand perfectly. You were just telling the truth absolutely straight. I told you what I try to do. I usually don't make it, I just keep trying to see my mother as she used to be although she's not like that too much lately. On the other hand, she's said to me a few times in the last weeks, "You have no shoes on your feet! Put some shoes on your feet!" THAT is MY mother. I understand 100 percent. And my mom is closer to being herself than I think your poor mom is.
I WISH I could go to the hospital and get a rest. I wouldn't mind. I thought I was really sick at one point this last year, and I have to confess, feeling stupid about this, I was disappointed when I realized I probably wasn't. I know I can't be the only one. But I'm going on vacation. Tomorrow I'm washing the dogs. Don't worry, nothing is going to stop me. But I'll probably have to take some sleep medicine the night before... love to everyone, and hope you feel love in your lives today-- Hannalee
Hannah, I know I sound harsh when I talk about my mother. I guess I am just tired after 3 years I live with her at home, and after 16 years I take care of her after my father's death. When my father died there was her depression, then she felt alone and I spent all my spare time with her, then she started to decline with Alzheimer and so on and so on, a long and slow decline until now - and she really is no more my mother now - her personality changed 100%. The last thing she made as my mother was I think one and a half year ago. I was half sleeping on the couch, she got up (she still could do it) and she put a blanket on me. And half sleeping I said "Thanks mom". This was my mother. The person she became doesn't even realize that I am as tired as hell and she is more and more and more demanding. So I am just drowning in the sorrow for her and for myself - if my "real" mother could see what my actual mother has become, she would be shocked. Believe me I still love her and think of her, I try to give her everything she likes. She still likes ice cream, she eats it in summer and in winter when the temperatures are under the snow temperature. And I go to look for icecreams wherever I find them... (and it's not easy believe me this period of the year). But I can't deny that the mother I knew is disappeared forever...
Sad thoughts.
Kisses everybody
Happy Valentines Day everyone, XOXO
Cricket
Linda the therepy does work but they don't realize what goes on in your everyday life. Hope they can do something for you or you can send the pain up my way and I will deal with it ok?
Hugs to everyone on the site. Don't have any jokes tonight sooooooooo. I hope I can get ya some tommorro night. I'll come up with something. Here is a good one.
This lady has to watch her nieghbors dog. His is a male and hers is a female. She figures the house is big ebough so they won't be bothered. Around 3:00am she here's this awful racket and goes to check it out and the two dogs are locked togather. She calls the vet and he says to her hang up and put the phone by them and I will call your number. She says how's that going to work? He says it worked for me.
lovCuz