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Ro, deep breaths, hon. I know what you mean about getting to the sea. It is relaxing and refreshing. NIE , oh my goodness. So glad you are here. Diane - dinner soundes great! Hope you can ward off that cold. Crhistina, it's been quite a ride, huh.

We had a quiet Christmas at home for a change. All of our travels and family drama happened before the holiday. But....

Brother is in Cape May with Mom as I am writing this. We have Life Line Alert and in home care reps coming to Mom's today! Mom is not very happy with us at the moment, but who cares. She just has to cooperate.

This is a real break through. I think having the visiting nurses so frequently may be weakening Mom's resolve a bit. On top of that, brother is finally really getting the picture. He was complaining about how difficult it is having Mom interrup his thoughts every other minute needing to be reminded of what they'd discussed just moments ago. She needs reassurance on EVERYTHING! God forbid you need a moment to gather your own thoughts to be able to deal with her. She gets insulted and pouts that we think she's a moron.

I talked with a priest friend of Mom's yesterday. I was hoping he'd call to encourage her to back down and accept the in home care. Instead, he kept insisting we get Mom to put her name on the list at some of the retirement communities locally. He just didn't get it - she won't move, at least not yet. I hope that he doesn't create a bigger monster.

With all this activity in Mom's life right now I feel hopeful that we may be making some progress in assuring her safety at home alone. My big fear is that it may make her angrier and more difficult to handle. I just have to keep reminding myself to breathe and take one minute at a time.

Lots to do today. Laundry, phone calls and balance Mom's checkbook (my least favorite event each month because she screws it up so much).

I'll stop back later in the day for a dose of sanity. Hugs and I wish peaceful moments for all of you today. Bee
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Rossella, The sea is one of the most healing places, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, sea birds overhead, the peace you get from the rhythm. I don't live close enough to it anymore so the last time I was there I splurged on a piece of local artist did of the waves, just the water and beach with the moon shining down and when I need to revive I lie in bed and look at that picture, it takes me away if only for a few moments. Get to the beach as fast as you can!
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Grazie Chris. In fact, to fill up the vessel, I have to go to the sea!
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Rossella,
Getting together at the holidays with family is emotional, besides what you live with daily.
Your vessel is empty, Rosella Bella. You are filling it up again. You have had quite a 4th quarter, and last summer was pretty tough. Wallow in it, and you will wallow right out of it again and be fine. You are an amazing, inspirational woman. You are a Blessing to your Mother. We adore you. You are la Regina Bellisima:) Ciao, xo
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I am fed up and discouraged about my life right now, so I can just tell the people who have their relatives at the hospital "best wishes", and to the others to enjoy as much as possible what remains of the Christmas hols...
I'd like to go to the beach and look at the sea, but my car is broken. I have to take it to the mech tomorrow. Maybe, as soon as it's fixed, I'll take the dogs for a walk on the beach.
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I think I'm getting a cold!!!!!! You know that burning feeling in your sinus and throat warning you "here I come to get you". I started taking some Airborne so lets see if it chases it away. Mom has spent most of the day in bed. SHe did come to the dinner table and ate very well. I made tilapia with roasted golden potatoes, asparagus and a tomato & cucumber salad. I think I need to take that chicken carcus and make me some chicken soup.
The cat is looking at me like when are you going to give me that laptop to sleep on? He loves to sleep on top of the laptop for some reason. Maybe its warm, but a cushy bed sounds more appealing to me :)

Anyway, have a good night all and I'll check in tomorrow.

Love ya,
Diane
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Dang, that explains it. I have a very small head. :(
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I don't know my mother is sharp as a tack at 93 and has always had a sharp tongue.
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Latest update on Alz's is the size of the brain. If it's smaller than normal, it's more likely that the person will get Alz's! People have always said I have a big head, hopefully that means I have to have a large brain to carry it!
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Enough, you can tell we like to wield our power around here:)
I've got the yo-yo, who's got the string?
I was talking to our friend's Mother who is visiting. She is in her 70s. When she heard we have been taking care of my Mother the last 3 years with dementia, she recounted odd stories from her childhood. Then said she took care of her Mother who had dementia until she passed. Hmmm? Is there a pattern of meanness, odd priorities, Narcissism, dependent and histrionic personalities which could be a precursor to Dementia? Maybe the part of the brain that governs those behaviors is one of the last to dull, and we get a ramped display as the wires are burning out?
God Help Us All, from the ravages out there. Love you all. Hugs. Christina xo
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Di,... wait and let me go find the damn jar! LOL
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I am thinking hold the wine back and say when you have eaten a bite properly you may have some wine....Se if that helps?
And Drama Queen! man I hope there is some universal justice in the universe, it isn't here! That is like emotional torture what she is doing!
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Enough, tell her Manners the Butler has been resurrected and lives at your house now. He is going to give her arrogant lectures if she doesn't shape up. Daintily wipe her mouth and make her reuse those paper napkins a few times. Manners lives under the table, remember. Keep your knees together...
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NIE, my mom gets sneezing fits to add to the full mouth of food. I know that isn't intentional but it is gross to see food flying everywhere! I swear I keep Kimberly Clark in business with all the tissues, napkins, tp and paper towels we go through each week. Just another expense of caregiving.

Still, I tried to get my family to sit down together for Christmas dinner to give my mother her one wish. Unfortunately the evil nephew could not do that. However, I am sure the day mom dies he and all the other judgmental assholes will be there. Of course they can't do anything before mom dies. In just sick of all the bullshit that flies around in my family. I guess I owe you 50 cents for the bad words :)

Hang in there y'all.

Love ya,
Diane
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lol give her one of those old prairie bonnets, they are made of cloth so she could use it like a napkin haha.. you could make home movies for your kids and say looksy kids what you have to look forward to when I get old....second thought, don't.
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Ok now. Some of you guys are really on a roll today!!!! :)
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Christina28 - helpful maybe but the laugh you caused was a needed item. We go through 2 -3 napkins a meal (the large dinner ones), she wants cloth but really I don't like doing laundry that much.

Cricket - love the idea of taping down the tablecloth that would be a riot to see but that little old 90 lb lady would somehow move the table around if she could.
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How about a bib? Or one if those collars they put on dogs so they don't scratch? Call her Queen Victoria. Aren't we helpful, Enough?
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Nothingisenough, Welcome to this thread, glad to have you join us here. Come here and vent as often as you need to we understand. Maybe you can accidently break all the wine bottles, lol When she shifts the table cloth around like that, how awful for you! Maybe you shouldn't put a tablecloth on the table and just give her a napkin instead? or glue the tablecloth to the table in front of her, now that would be funny to see her reaction to that! haha Anyway it goes, we are here to help you cope. Love Cricket Chirp Chirp
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NIE, don't go "postal "for at least for another day! Shoot, why not just wait until the New Year!!! LOL! Welcome to our little crew!
Christina, hope you had a great Christmas. Well... as good as it could be! This first Christmas without mom is really tought! "Drama Queen and Can't argue with stupid" could have spent so much more time here at home with mom but, no they wait until after she's gone to get together for Christmas, that sucks!!!
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Bless your Heart, Enough. You are welcome here, no judgment, you just vent and get to know your new friends. You came to the right place. Hugs, Christina
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new to this board but not new to caregiving. Took care of my mother for 15 years, had a 10 year break and now having my in-laws (Mother and Father) with us. It has only been 3 months but seems like 30 years These two people are so much more difficult than my mother or maybe I could forgive and forget with her better. Anyways, gross out is only the beginning, food issues, she uses food as a weapon against me, if she is upset she will put the food in her mouth and then spat it out on the table. (she is 90), she uses the tablecloth as a tissue wiping both nose and mouth (food usually still there) on it, then she shifts it around so it is placed in front of me. Her mobility is limited and has a hard time with a fork and spoon but she sure can get the wine glass to her mouth with no drops being spilt.

I have taken up chanting to myself so that I don't end up crying! Chant: Give me strength not to go postal.
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I'm still standing, LOL... Christmas? Well, I basically stayed away from her as much as possible. Set the table and everyone was making such a fuss how beautiful it was, so, we sat down to have dad say grace before we got up to serve ourselves and wouldn't you know it... she decided to have one of her chosen seizures right then in the den... Had dad crying (which is her way to make herself feel better) and again, Drama Queen was being coddled by poor dad! The whole family and friends weren't buying into it except him! Finally lost it and told dad she could continue with her seizure while he came in and said grace!!! After she realized it wasn't working she came in and sat down! Had wine for a few of us and Drama Queen made a big fuss over that! I said damn a couple of times and she goes and gets a jar to tell me to put in a quarter each time anyone said a "bad word". Oh, hell no!!! The worst of all was when everyone left for the evening, leaving me with her. She promptly went into mother's closet and starting taking all of her clothes, chosen items of mom's, personal items, gifts she had given her, etc. My heart was breaking... then she comes into my room and informs me she's taking her 50 year old gold-plated hair brush and mirror that dad had given to her one Christmas. That did it!!!! I definitely lost it then and all I could say was at least take one and leave the other for dad and me. Just because mom is gone, my father is NOT and it would be nice for him to have mom's things around the house to remind him of certain times in their lives together... guess that worked because she left them both! Then, she says to dad she needs to gas up her car, get groceries, etc. Of course, she knew dad would pay for everything, which he did! Plus the hundreds of dollars he gave her before and after Christmas!!! Didn't have the heart to "cook" the birds, just offered them some turkey instead, LOL. I stayed away from the nightmare discussion that she caused three years ago (y'all remember that one) because I just wasn't ready to talk but wanted her to know it's not over and I want her side of why she did what she did....sooner than later!!! She looked up at me and said, "
Well, BJ, you just remember that the truth shall set you FREE", What the hell is that suppose to mean??? I'll show her the truth someday and perhaps have a gallery of friends, family, dr.'s, etc around to witness MY TRUTH!!! Hope all of you, dear friends, had a beautiful Christmas and a brighter New Year!!! love you, each and everyone.......That's my story and the Drama Queen is in the backyard in the hammock, old joke, LOL
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Notice I said "control" 5 times in one post. OooWhee. Maybe I am afraid of losing control of myself!!! It's a Freudian Slip, and not a frilly one. heehee
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Morning,
After baby-sitting, I went to bed early, but I was not tired from baby sitting. Compared to care giving, there is NO Comparison. Amen. Once you have been a Care giver--and I am not in the same league as some of you, not even when Mother was here at my house--everything is a cinch. He did throw up all over the living room floor, but at least it wasn't the carpet upstairs. I kept thinking, "Ok, bring it on. Test me. See if I am Grandma material". haha I am pretty quick, and that is the difference with kids and elders. One second, the kid can weave himself into a crowd and you panic. I was not one to hang onto my kids or put harnesses on them. I believe in letting out the tether gradually, and seeing how much they can mind and obey. Oh, it' s a good lesson. Learning to direct without controlling. And teaching them not to control others, and run from those who try to control you. That should be a commandment, Maybe it is, just worded differently.
Linda's Pa is under control in the hospital. She told me to tell you. They are getting his blood sugar under control, and I am happy she can maybe rest a bit. But she probably won't. Sigh. Love that LindaHeart:) xo
Turkey Soup! Hey, Diane. Make some turkey soup and you will sleep like a baby.
I must have missed BJ's post after Christmas, because I STILL have no idea how everything went with her sister, and I am itching to know. Scratch, scratch. Oh, must be dry skin from the heat being on. heehee
Another beautiful day on the left coast, so I am going for a walk right now.
Thinking of all you beautiful Care givers. Be good to yourself today. Love, Christina
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Oops. I yawned and hit the enter key! I'm so exhausted right now. This caregiving is just overwhelming, isn't it? Seems I'm spending more and more time talking to Mom, talking to others, and taking care of financial matters for Mom. She is so forgetful and needs reassurance for every little thing. She makes notes about every little thing and then can't remember where she put her note. We started her on the Exelon patch last Thursday and I have some hope (but no expectation) that this will help a bit. We know it won't stop the process but perhaps it will slow things down a bit.

She has not been as depressed since the accident because . . . she's had real live visitors. The imagined kids and my (deceased) Dad still seem to be there despite 24/7 family company for the past week. (My brother heard her talking to them.) It's getting harder for Mom to deny the symptoms but she is so very stubborn!

I just spoke to a rep from Life Line Alert. Mom is arguing against this, too, but we're hoping to wear her down. This would give us at least some relief from the worry of her being alone for now. Say some prayers, please.

Thanks for being here. I really missed you guys.
I have a turkey carcus simmering for soup and hubby will be home soon so I'd better get busy. Hugs and warm wishes! Bee
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Good morning everyone! Snowy morning here but no real accumulation expected.
Hugs and prayers to Linda, SS, Diane, Sherry, Christina, et al. (I'm still trying to catch up on reading the posts.) Cuz, you are a real gem! lol

Mom had a houseful of visiting medical staff yesterday. Since her accident, she is having in home care but STILL refuses to accept a more permenant arrangement.
I will call her case worker later today because Mom reported one of the ladies asked her "a bunch of questions to help me with my memory". I am guessing they did a Mini Cognitive Test. Yeah! I ask the doc to do this last Thursday and he did not.
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ss, so glad they found out what was wrong and can now start treatment!
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Linda - so sorry for eh recent development. I'll pray for ur Dad. Yes, my dad has ulcers in his stomach. Two large ones they said, so they are changing up his meds, no more baby aspirin but no more blood thinner either. I think he will will be transferred to a short term rehab after he is stable. Thanks to all for checking in!

Luv -SS
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"Alterin". Darn iPhone.
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