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Hope all had a great Christmas! Dad is a happy camper with his new electronic cigarette! He is still sundowning and I wish he would engage in activities in the day, but he refuses to get out of bed! He refused to participate in activities while Rehab too! Oh well that is just Dad! Whatever.................Love you all! Kim
Bobbi, hope you get to feeling better soon! Take it easy! XXOO
Hi all! Climbing aboard after an extended melt down followed by a long week of travel on the East Coast. I thought about all of you and hope you have some wonderful memories of this December 2011.
I've read some of the posts - with my new sclera lens I can see much better! What a Christmas gift this is!!!! ;-) I am still under the specialists care, but I am hoping that in January she'll sign the form which will allow me to try to renew my drivers license. Pray for that one, please!
So, in my reading I saw some sadness, tragety and some good news as well. I want to get back into the flow here again but hubby is on break from his teaching responsibilities at the college until mid January. I'll do what I can in the meantime.
We did celebrate Christmas early with our children and grand daughters in NY and then traveled to the Phildelphia PA area for a few days to have time with our son, 2 yr old grand daughter an some siblings.
That was followed by a trip to Mom's in Cape May for a few days and a doctor's appt. with her. This doc is not really invested in caring for Mom, in my opinion. It was like pulling teeth to get him to even ask Mom relevant questions - I had to prod and push for him to address her dementia and memory problems! The good news is, Mom realizes she can't drive anymore after totaling the car on 12/12. She currently has visiting nurses twice a week (maybe until the end of Feb) but they are in and out of there within 45 minutes at most. We are still trying to persuade Mom that she needs some in home assistance but so far, she's not allowing it. The Doctor told her she must get a Life Line alert system or some thing similiar. So far, she's "considering it" but not convinced she wants it.
Thanks to my wonderful hubby, I think I'm back on keel as far as Mom is concerned - though nothing is really resolved. My cousins, daughter, best friend, and a neighbor are well intentioned, I'm sure, but harping on me about their opinion that Mom "should be moved to an AL facility immediately whether she wants to or not". I wish it were as easy as they want it to be!
Got to run for now to get some dinner going. Left over turkey - yum! I think I'll make a shephards pie tonight.
Good Morning After, My Beautiful Friends, Welcome, lynmac1: that is what we're here for: to keep your sanity afloat through good cheer, VENTING, communicating with thoughtful, intelligent, compassionate, been there/done that/ still doing that Care Givers! Whoo Hoo! We get saner and saner here at Grossed Out, more confident and Loved, so Come Aboard, Matey! I am thinking of you all the last few days, names and actual or imagined faces whizzing across my forehead. Oh, my gosh, sometimes I think if you were in front of me physically I would SQUEEZE YOU TO PIECES!!! I love you so much! It was a lovely Christmas here. I may have had one too many mimosas--the kids call them "Mom-mosas", I was crying as I opened a couple of presents, but I realized how much thought went into them from my beloved family. I thought, "There is no way I can complain about them not cooking, or helping to clean up when they are here, because they appreciate so much what I do for the family...I got a wonderful mat to put on the kitchen floor, which is stone, from my future son in law. Listen, I am not going to remain Cinderelli in the kitchen, OK. It's the aftermath of Christmas, my weakened state from mimosas. Champagne does that to me. haha I am starting my new routine immediately: Walking every morning before I sit down to my computer, drinking lots of water all day, eating my small but frequent protein meals. No sweets, no wine, no bread and similar starches. I will do it. Barb, we were on Pacific Coast Highway as I was re-rereading your repost, and It was so lovely. We parked the car and walked down to a little cove. i took a few photos and sent to Cricket. Maybe she will post them wherever you girls post stuff. We went to see Mother around 3 and took her for a good long walk around several blocks. She was animated and aware that Marv was there, and reacted to my son's phone call while we were walking. It was "all good." When she hears a man's voice, she seems better. Going to work in yard today and clean things up after the winds and rain. Have a good one, my Friends. Love you, Christina xo
Hi all. I hope you all had a nice Christmas! Barb, I must have come on to the boat after you wrote that the first time, so thanks for sharing. It's wonderful. And its true. Thank you all. I hope you haven't forgotten me. I know I don't write in that often. I'm in a bad place and i can only deal with so many things a day. Right now, I'm on hold with the hospital as my Dad too a nasty fall on Thursday before Christmas and is still recovering. Nothing broken just very weak...We are trying to get him transferred to a short term rehab place so he can gain his strength back. And I've been getting the run around about Medicare coverage and so forth and had to fight everyone along the way. i know my Mom is scared that this is it for him. ....couldn't even finish writing this....just got the call they put him in intensive care with a stomach bleed. oh, boy....here we go....luv u all.
I can't take the credit for this one cause it came from Rip but I had to share with you all. lovCuz
Last week, I took my grand children to a restaurant. My six year old grand-son asked if he could say grace.
As we bowed our heads he said, "God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Nana gets us for desert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!"
Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"
Hearing this my grand-son burst into tears and ask me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"
As I held him and assurd him that he had not done a terrible job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my grand-son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."
"Really?" my grand-son asked.
"Cross my heart," the man replied.
Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (including the woman whose remark had started the whole thing) "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."
Naturally, I bought my grand children ice cream at the end of the meal. My grand-son stared at his for a moment, and then dos something I will remember the rest of my life.
He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here this is for you. shove it up your ass you grouchy old bitch!"
Linda09 I know what you are dealing with. Last week I went for three days before my wife called the doc and he put me on some musle relaxers 3 times a day. It took almost another 3 days before I could really breathe good myself. During this time though I had to help a friend move 3 rooms of furniture. I never told him how sore I was I just did it and then I just laid on the floor for the next 5 days before it went away. Hugs to ya gal and I will try to telepath the pain away from ya cause I still got 4 days of pills left and if it helps ya there ya go. luvCuz
merry christmas to you all .... bobbie- good to hear from you and i often so wish i could sit with you and watch the train go by and slurp that good ole coffee and just relax and admire the scene .
had everybody over yesterday . had good time till i started doing dishes my back went into muscle spasam . everybody was leavin and then i was afraid to breath cuz it hurt too much , my baby girl said oh mom u need to go lay down well i couldnt lay down it hurt even worst and i couldnt breath ! im thinking shit i may have to go to ER , nana i went pop some muscle relaxer it usualy knocks me out but it didnt knock me out cuz i was in too much pain . halfhr later i pop some more and finaly i went to sleep but woke up 2 hrs later still in pain so i pop some more drugs and finaly slept 4 hrs , woke up breathing ok and the pain is numb and it still is numb . may have to go to dr and see what the hell s going on . i always had that pblm but it was never that bad ! interfirin my breathing . im thinkin oh lung caner ? all sort of crazy shit going thru my mind . mil followed me everywhere . id lay down she would repeatly ask me where do i sleep at ? well u know the drill . this morning i went to make sure everythings dry yep it is then i saw my granddaughter s purse layin in middle floor so i went t pick it up and to put it in the toy box , shit its WET ! stunk so bad , now im wondering whateles has she done . i dont think theyre ever gonna leave . bobbie ! im coming !!! :-) golf- yes i remmy few yrs ago we all was planning a trip and all we all was dreaming and makin plans and dreamin some more . it was fun and funny and then i made my dream come true i went there day after thanksgiving . it sure was a pleasure and so great to get to know bobbie . shes beautiful inside and out and kept me smiling , she is a pleasure to be around .. i was sad to leave , i didnt want to leave , i kept saying nah its sat and my sis in law and bobbie both said nope its sunday i was hoping they re pullin my leg , looked at my phone yep it is sunday and i missed sat ! where did it go waaaaaaaaaa. time just few by so damn fast . sat came and went pooof ! yes golf there is bobbie s boat . :-) i slept alot today . hubby s worried about me ., dad s chest is rattling , he too doesnt feel good . rossella i hope u and ur mom is feeling better , ouch ur face , bet the whole gang in the car will be sick sooner or later . granddaughter was sick on sat , she slept a long time . fear i be next too .
hope you all are doing good . i know christina is ! ohhh lala hope u drank a margaritta for me . yummie . a walk alongt he beach is so great , christina - thank you for all u have done to make me smile and tears sweellin up in my eyes , i love you girl .... nighty nite u all . will meow at ya when i feel up to it , annt - glad ure takin a break and yes its not good to sit at the rehab many hrs , yuck no way say ohh . go enjoy ur time while you can . ssk- pissnapplesauce . im still smiling . love ya all !!! xoxo
Golf, there is indeed a real boat! The originator of this thread Bobbie, has been a caregiver like ourselves. Just before her mom passed away she purchased a boat. Some of the "crew" has been fortunate enough to run away from their caregiver demands to get to meet and spend time with Bobbie. Otherwise we are a group of loving, caring and crazy women and a couple men either new to caregiving, in the think of things, or have said good-bye to their loved ones. Cuz is our cheerleader that provides fequent humor to brighten our days. Please stay with us an we will laugh with you and cry with you everyday. This crew is my lifeline and have pulled me out the black hole (depression) so many times. Glad you followed my advice to check us out again.
Merry Christmas - I hope this thread will be a true gift to you
Bobbie I am sorry you are sad... I hope you all had a nice Christmas. It was not bad for me. My mother is still very weak. I hope it is not permanent from now on!
Barb, this made my Christmas. I want to be a part of your guys boat. It made me cry because I realize how lonely and misunderstood I am to those not in our place. Funny story...I thought this thread was about a bunch of you planning a cruise when I first saw it (2 years ago) and didn't feel like I belonged. Thought it was a vacation click thing. A real and true boat you were taking....is it? Thanks to Dtflex, today, told me to join this thread. I hope you will allow me to be your friends. I am home almost 24/7 and am loosing myself. Merry Christmas and Bless you all.
So beautiful, Barb. Thank you for posting again. Hope everyone's holiday was nice. Mother was great today: talking in sentences and happy to see Marv, elated when Adam called. Did not know my sister visited yesterday. We're in Laguna Beach now, trying to find an open bar. Haha! Love, Christina
I waded into the ocean thinking I was being careful. Had my sunblock on and my rubber ducky around my waist - and my brothers were on shore so if I got into trouble they could rescue me. I was doing Ok for a while, determined that I could adapt and thrive despite having never been in the ocean before.
After a time I became aware that I'd been drifting. There was so much going on - what with the waves and the wind and the sun in my eyes and all the while concentrating on keeping afloat. But now I realized I was in over my head - something I'd never intended.
I immediately began calling out to my brothers - they should have been able to hear me. They knew what I was doing and they should have been looking out for me. I could see them on the shore, laughing and having drinks and so engaged in their own lives they never once turned to look out to sea. It was as if they didn't want to know if I was in trouble. Didn't want to rescue me . . .
I struggled out of my floatie and tried swimming back to shore, but the current had me, and by now my energies were waning. There was nothing to do but ride it out, and I turned onto my back and began to float. The sunblock was gone, my face burning, and I told myself this couldn't go on indefinitely. The tide had to change, the current weaken. I just had to hold on.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, storm clouds began to gather, and the waves were tossing me about, and then the rain fell so hard and fast I was struggling not to drown. And while I fought, I realized there were shadows under the water - dark, murky shadows in the quiet depths that were gathering around me, and even as I fought I began to consider if the struggle to stay afloat was even worth it. I was exhausted with my efforts. There was no hope of rescue. Maybe it was time to give up.
And then the boat arrived. And a lifeline was thrown around my neck.
And on the boat there was a group of sunburned, windswept women - beautiful women - many of whom still had seaweed in their hair. And together they reached out and they pulled me from the water, and they gave me my own place in the boat. And they welcomed me with words of comfort and understanding, and they wanted to know my story, and they wanted to tell their stories. And it didn't matter to these beautiful women what if any God I worshipped, or what language I spoke, or my ethnicity, or bank account, or political affiliation, or even my bathing suit size.
The prerequisite for being on the boat was simply the willingness to help others who have waded into the water and found themselves in trouble. Share the sun block. Pump up the rubber ducky. Throw out a lifeline. And when possible -help them find a reason to laugh. --- Now who's up for another slice of gator tail pie with balz sauce?
Dear Bobbie I was so glad to hear from you. I am having a great Christmas-got up early and fixed the dinner due to my son's work shift we all eat at differednt except Benji my fat cat he eats all day. My son got off early and he and my granddaughter had a nice time spending time together opening gifts and relaxing then Bengi and I took cat naps and went I got up there was an email from my sister and BIL she got him an IPAD they do not have a computer. I wish everyone here a nice unstressful Christmas Day. it is 39 and sunny in this part of N.Y. today. I wish a peaceful day to you all and hope the difficult family members stay away today and the difficult people you are careing for give you a break and I am not going to dwell on those years with the husband and just enjoy this Christmas day. June
I am always here reading even if I don't write. Still somewhat shot out from everything and then there's new stuff I will tell you all about later.
The Cat gave me a little present by hurling her guts up next to my bunk. At least this time she didn't kill a rug. She is now cleaning my oatmeal bowl.
It is still warm here and the river is beautiful. Slightly overcast and full sun should be around in a bit.
I have read every post and cried and laughed and for all of you who have lost someone I feel you. For all of you who are new to caregiving hang on and stay with us here because we are all on the same boat whether it be before, during or after caregiving... and for some of us we will caregive again even though we swore not to.
Mariesmom, any possible way you could repost that wonderful story you wrote about being adrift? Whenever you have time which I know wouldn't be today! That beautiful story touched so many of us.
I am in a phase of heartbroken right now and doing the best I can. thank you all for being here for each other and for me. this is the best Christmas present anyone could ever recieve.
Happy Christmas morning all. I have my darling daughter and her beau here for a bit longer this morning, and we all had a wonderful evening opening gifts via Skype with daughter and grandson in Alabama. My darling in Dallas has called several times.
First Christmas without Mom - who died 100 days ago this morning.
Best of everything to you and yours. Take care of yourselves. Love you guys. Barbara
Welcomebookworn I an a crocheting bookworm glad to have you with us. It is now 5am in New York and getting started with the meal so my son can eat when he wants to h-he works nights and the grand-daughter is going to visit her Mom, The tree of us will spend time together after my son comes home from work-I wasnot able to spend much money on gifts this year and feel bad about that. June
'twas the night before Christmas, all hands on the Boat, were missing the Captain, yet staying afloat. The elders were sleeping, some thought it was day, they're tired and ornery, but, what the hey? Tomorrow brings New hope for man in this Season, and the Love we share here, is also a reason. Merry Christmas to All, and to All, a Good Night:) hugs, Christina xo
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
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Bobbi, hope you get to feeling better soon! Take it easy! XXOO
I've read some of the posts - with my new sclera lens I can see much better! What a Christmas gift this is!!!! ;-) I am still under the specialists care, but I am hoping that in January she'll sign the form which will allow me to try to renew my drivers license. Pray for that one, please!
So, in my reading I saw some sadness, tragety and some good news as well.
I want to get back into the flow here again but hubby is on break from his teaching responsibilities at the college until mid January. I'll do what I can in the meantime.
We did celebrate Christmas early with our children and grand daughters in NY and then traveled to the Phildelphia PA area for a few days to have time with our son, 2 yr old grand daughter an some siblings.
That was followed by a trip to Mom's in Cape May for a few days and a doctor's appt. with her. This doc is not really invested in caring for Mom, in my opinion. It was like pulling teeth to get him to even ask Mom relevant questions - I had to prod and push for him to address her dementia and memory problems! The good news is, Mom realizes she can't drive anymore after totaling the car on 12/12. She currently has visiting nurses twice a week (maybe until the end of Feb) but they are in and out of there within 45 minutes at most. We are still trying to persuade Mom that she needs some in home assistance but so far, she's not allowing it. The Doctor told her she must get a Life Line alert system or some thing similiar. So far, she's "considering it" but not convinced she wants it.
Thanks to my wonderful hubby, I think I'm back on keel as far as Mom is concerned - though nothing is really resolved. My cousins, daughter, best friend, and a neighbor are well intentioned, I'm sure, but harping on me about their opinion that Mom "should be moved to an AL facility immediately whether she wants to or not". I wish it were as easy as they want it to be!
Got to run for now to get some dinner going. Left over turkey - yum! I think I'll make a shephards pie tonight.
Hugs and love to all across the miles. Carolyn
Welcome, lynmac1: that is what we're here for: to keep your sanity afloat through good cheer, VENTING, communicating with thoughtful, intelligent, compassionate, been there/done that/ still doing that Care Givers! Whoo Hoo! We get saner and saner here at Grossed Out, more confident and Loved, so Come Aboard, Matey!
I am thinking of you all the last few days, names and actual or imagined faces whizzing across my forehead. Oh, my gosh, sometimes I think if you were in front of me physically I would SQUEEZE YOU TO PIECES!!! I love you so much!
It was a lovely Christmas here. I may have had one too many mimosas--the kids call them "Mom-mosas", I was crying as I opened a couple of presents, but I realized how much thought went into them from my beloved family. I thought, "There is no way I can complain about them not cooking, or helping to clean up when they are here, because they appreciate so much what I do for the family...I got a wonderful mat to put on the kitchen floor, which is stone, from my future son in law.
Listen, I am not going to remain Cinderelli in the kitchen, OK. It's the aftermath of Christmas, my weakened state from mimosas. Champagne does that to me. haha
I am starting my new routine immediately: Walking every morning before I sit down to my computer, drinking lots of water all day, eating my small but frequent protein meals. No sweets, no wine, no bread and similar starches. I will do it.
Barb, we were on Pacific Coast Highway as I was re-rereading your repost, and It was so lovely. We parked the car and walked down to a little cove. i took a few photos and sent to Cricket. Maybe she will post them wherever you girls post stuff.
We went to see Mother around 3 and took her for a good long walk around several blocks. She was animated and aware that Marv was there, and reacted to my son's phone call while we were walking. It was "all good." When she hears a man's voice, she seems better.
Going to work in yard today and clean things up after the winds and rain. Have a good one, my Friends. Love you, Christina xo
Thank you all. I hope you haven't forgotten me. I know I don't write in that often. I'm in a bad place and i can only deal with so many things a day.
Right now, I'm on hold with the hospital as my Dad too a nasty fall on Thursday before Christmas and is still recovering. Nothing broken just very weak...We are trying to get him transferred to a short term rehab place so he can gain his strength back. And I've been getting the run around about Medicare coverage and so forth and had to fight everyone along the way. i know my Mom is scared that this is it for him. ....couldn't even finish writing this....just got the call they put him in intensive care with a stomach bleed. oh, boy....here we go....luv u all.
-SS
Last week, I took my grand children to a restaurant. My six year old grand-son asked if he could say grace.
As we bowed our heads he said, "God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if
Nana gets us for desert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!"
Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong
with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"
Hearing this my grand-son burst into tears and ask me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"
As I held him and assurd him that he had not done a terrible job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an
elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my grand-son and said, "I happen to know that God
thought that was a great prayer."
"Really?" my grand-son asked.
"Cross my heart," the man replied.
Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (including the woman whose remark had started the whole thing)
"Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."
Naturally, I bought my grand children ice cream at the end of the meal. My grand-son stared at his for a moment,
and then dos something I will remember the rest of my life.
He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman.
With a big smile he
told her, "Here this is for you. shove it up your ass you grouchy old bitch!"
luvCuz
bobbie- good to hear from you and i often so wish i could sit with you and watch the train go by and slurp that good ole coffee and just relax and admire the scene .
had everybody over yesterday . had good time till i started doing dishes my back went into muscle spasam . everybody was leavin and then i was afraid to breath cuz it hurt too much , my baby girl said oh mom u need to go lay down well i couldnt lay down it hurt even worst and i couldnt breath ! im thinking shit i may have to go to ER , nana i went pop some muscle relaxer it usualy knocks me out but it didnt knock me out cuz i was in too much pain . halfhr later i pop some more and finaly i went to sleep but woke up 2 hrs later still in pain so i pop some more drugs and finaly slept 4 hrs , woke up breathing ok and the pain is numb and it still is numb . may have to go to dr and see what the hell s going on . i always had that pblm but it was never that bad ! interfirin my breathing . im thinkin oh lung caner ? all sort of crazy shit going thru my mind .
mil followed me everywhere . id lay down she would repeatly ask me where do i sleep at ? well u know the drill . this morning i went to make sure everythings dry yep it is then i saw my granddaughter s purse layin in middle floor so i went t pick it up and to put it in the toy box , shit its WET ! stunk so bad , now im wondering whateles has she done . i dont think theyre ever gonna leave .
bobbie ! im coming !!! :-)
golf- yes i remmy few yrs ago we all was planning a trip and all we all was dreaming and makin plans and dreamin some more . it was fun and funny and then i made my dream come true i went there day after thanksgiving . it sure was a pleasure and so great to get to know bobbie . shes beautiful inside and out and kept me smiling , she is a pleasure to be around .. i was sad to leave , i didnt want to leave , i kept saying nah its sat and my sis in law and bobbie both said nope its sunday i was hoping they re pullin my leg , looked at my phone yep it is sunday and i missed sat ! where did it go waaaaaaaaaa. time just few by so damn fast . sat came and went pooof ! yes golf there is bobbie s boat . :-)
i slept alot today . hubby s worried about me .,
dad s chest is rattling , he too doesnt feel good .
rossella i hope u and ur mom is feeling better , ouch ur face ,
bet the whole gang in the car will be sick sooner or later .
granddaughter was sick on sat , she slept a long time . fear i be next too .
hope you all are doing good . i know christina is ! ohhh lala hope u drank a margaritta for me . yummie . a walk alongt he beach is so great ,
christina - thank you for all u have done to make me smile and tears sweellin up in my eyes , i love you girl ....
nighty nite u all . will meow at ya when i feel up to it , annt - glad ure takin a break and yes its not good to sit at the rehab many hrs , yuck no way say ohh . go enjoy ur time while you can .
ssk- pissnapplesauce . im still smiling .
love ya all !!! xoxo
Merry Christmas - I hope this thread will be a true gift to you
I hope you all had a nice Christmas. It was not bad for me. My mother is still very weak. I hope it is not permanent from now on!
Hope everyone's holiday was nice. Mother was great today: talking in sentences and happy to see Marv, elated when Adam called. Did not know my sister visited yesterday. We're in Laguna Beach now, trying to find an open bar. Haha!
Love, Christina
I waded into the ocean thinking I was being careful. Had my sunblock on and my rubber ducky around my waist - and my brothers were on shore so if I got into trouble they could rescue me. I was doing Ok for a while, determined that I could adapt and thrive despite having never been in the ocean before.
After a time I became aware that I'd been drifting. There was so much going on - what with the waves and the wind and the sun in my eyes and all the while concentrating on keeping afloat. But now I realized I was in over my head - something I'd never intended.
I immediately began calling out to my brothers - they should have been able to hear me. They knew what I was doing and they should have been looking out for me. I could see them on the shore, laughing and having drinks and so engaged in their own lives they never once turned to look out to sea. It was as if they didn't want to know if I was in trouble. Didn't want to rescue me . . .
I struggled out of my floatie and tried swimming back to shore, but the current had me, and by now my energies were waning. There was nothing to do but ride it out, and I turned onto my back and began to float. The sunblock was gone, my face burning, and I told myself this couldn't go on indefinitely. The tide had to change, the current weaken. I just had to hold on.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, storm clouds began to gather, and the waves were tossing me about, and then the rain fell so hard and fast I was struggling not to drown. And while I fought, I realized there were shadows under the water - dark, murky shadows in the quiet depths that were gathering around me, and even as I fought I began to consider if the struggle to stay afloat was even worth it. I was exhausted with my efforts. There was no hope of rescue. Maybe it was time to give up.
And then the boat arrived. And a lifeline was thrown around my neck.
And on the boat there was a group of sunburned, windswept women - beautiful women - many of whom still had seaweed in their hair. And together they reached out and they pulled me from the water, and they gave me my own place in the boat. And they welcomed me with words of comfort and understanding, and they wanted to know my story, and they wanted to tell their stories. And it didn't matter to these beautiful women what if any God I worshipped, or what language I spoke, or my ethnicity, or bank account, or political affiliation, or even my bathing suit size.
The prerequisite for being on the boat was simply the willingness to help others who have waded into the water and found themselves in trouble. Share the sun block. Pump up the rubber ducky. Throw out a lifeline. And when possible -help them find a reason to laugh.
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Now who's up for another slice of gator tail pie with balz sauce?
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`.✫`.............. *♥☺♥•♥•☺♥*.
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Merry Christmas Everyone!
I am always here reading even if I don't write. Still somewhat shot out from everything and then there's new stuff I will tell you all about later.
The Cat gave me a little present by hurling her guts up next to my bunk. At least this time she didn't kill a rug. She is now cleaning my oatmeal bowl.
It is still warm here and the river is beautiful. Slightly overcast and full sun should be around in a bit.
I have read every post and cried and laughed and for all of you who have lost someone I feel you. For all of you who are new to caregiving hang on and stay with us here because we are all on the same boat whether it be before, during or after caregiving... and for some of us we will caregive again even though we swore not to.
Mariesmom, any possible way you could repost that wonderful story you wrote about being adrift? Whenever you have time which I know wouldn't be today!
That beautiful story touched so many of us.
I am in a phase of heartbroken right now and doing the best I can. thank you all for being here for each other and for me. this is the best Christmas present anyone could ever recieve.
Love you guys more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
First Christmas without Mom - who died 100 days ago this morning.
Best of everything to you and yours. Take care of yourselves. Love you guys. Barbara
Merry Christmas to All, and to All, a Good Night:) hugs, Christina xo