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Thanks y'all for your concern about mama. Yes, Christina, it made me sick to think about her falling on that hip too. The Dr was very apologetic and said he had had a talk with the staff, but that won't help. It's mom. She's going to do exactly what she wants to do. She keeps asking to come home. I told her "No Way" not until she's walking on her own again. If that doesn't happen I will have to place her in a NH. My body cannot take starting over with the pulling and lifting. I'm shot now.
Tomorrow my oldest son and dil and David and I are taking our 4 grandsons to Atlanta to the toy museum and other stuff and having a picnic in Centinenial Park. That should be fun. Then Dave and I are going Sunday to his parents house for a couple of days. I'm taking advantage of having someone take care of mom and setting me free. I hope it lasts for a while. My middle brother and his family are going up to the hosp to celebrate Christmas with mama on Sunday. She will like that. I'm trying to get her used to not seeing me all the time. She truly expects me to be there 24 hrs a day. Rehab only lets you come after 3pm so you don't interfer with the therapy. I've been enjoying the time off.
My abuser older brother never called to see how she came thru surgery and has not called or sent a card or anything. I am amazed at how unfeeling some siblings can be.
Y'all hang in there. This can be a very trying time of year. So much going on. Breathe!!
Love you all. Have a great weekend and enjoy the holiday as much as humanly possible.

Ann
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Hello everyone,

Tomorrow I cooking a big meal for the family so I'm pretty busy today trying to get all the last minute stuff done. I wanted to check in and let you know that I'm thinking of you and hope everyone holds it together the next couple of days. I'll get back off and on when I can. Love you all.

Criket
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ChristinaA -did I hear you praying for high winds-you are so good to be taking walks-I am sure that would do me a world of good to keep out of the black hole-may use the treadmill today-it's a thought. June
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Wow--talk about Classics. Headbanger and the Poo Chronicles. I haven't looked to see if diane posted her bread recipe. I am baking an orange date nut bread today. I think. Time seems to escape me. Speaking of escaping: HELLO SUE!!! Hope you have a wonderful holiday. Are the boys coming home? Blessings to you and yours. xo
Ann, Your Mother is stubborn! Wow. Is she not at the "Depends and accepting it" stage? Just hearing of falling on her broken hip gave me chills and pains throughout my body, but my empathetic response are way too sensitive. Hope YOU are resting and getting a chance to re-evaluate your situation. Love you:)
Diane: put in ear plugs, don't answer, delete. all the things Austin said. LALALALA
I CAN'T HEAR YOU. ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?!?! HUGS! xoxox
I am staying home until 1 today, baking and wrapping, and my favorite addiction--talking to you all. haha. I would get a lot more done if I would structure my time better. I am a "seat of my pants", type. Creative. I do things when I feel like it. Except when I have to do something, then I wiz zoom, tra la, like LindaHeart:) xo
KIMBO: what is the consensus on mixing up day and night because of dementia perception? We kept Mother busy during the day and gave her something to sleep at night. Can't let them run our entire life, but maybe I am selfish that way. All the best, Kim. Blessings upon YOU, Dear One. xoxoxo
Well, I am missing certain friends here, but it's a busy or depressing time of year, so I am not bugging anyone to check in.
In my heart, you have checked in--to stay. All of you:) xoxox0
Back to wrapping, baking and then I'll get a quick walk in before I face the emotional stuff later today. It is extremely windy the last couple of days, so covering my nose and mouth with scarf. If winds keep up, sister will not drive out to see Mother even on weekend. Not my Problem. I'm doing my thing, giving my best for my own. LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU ALL!! Have a good one. bbl ChristinA
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Pissandapplesauce was a classic typo for this thread!
Saw a website showing auto-corrected texts. Funny stuff of you google & find it.
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good morning, I'm waiting for the hospice CNA to come in so I can go food shopping. Going to get a roast beef, pie, veg, ice cream, and whatever else I might need for christmas dinner. The pecan and applesauce bread mentioned above reminded me of a pissnapplesauce joke we had going for a while.
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Diane is there any way you can avoid those messages from your family-if they email can you just delate before you read them when the husband called and left hate messages on the phone when in rehab I would turn the answering machine down and not take his calls and later just delate and not listen to his rants-it was my way of coping I am glad I did not get his recording maching back so did not have to be subjected to his venom after he died if we had gotten it my son was going to listen to it and decide if he wanted me to listen to it-I think the social worker had heard him recording messages and made sure I did not get it. I wish we could shield you from their comments.
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Ann-So happy your Mom is doing well! Dad did the same thing! Got out of the chair and fell while in rehab! He is stubborn too! Can totally relate! Take care of yourself too!

Christina-Sorry to hear your Mom has pnuemonia, hope she has a speedy recovery!

Glad you are here Renee. I understand having a difficult parent all too well! This is a great place to vent!

Dad is stll up! Hopefully he will go to sleep soon! I am getting days and nights confused these days!

You all are the best Christmas present I could have ever wished for this year and for years to come!

Rip-loved the dream you had the other night! Hope someday it will come true! We would all know each other!
XXOO to all! Kimbo,Kimmy,Kimmie, Kim




XXOO, Kimbo,Kimmy,Kimmie,Kim!
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Good morning everyone. Welcome Renee. We are very glad to have you.

Mom came thru her hip surgery the other day just fine. They put a couple of metal rods in from the top of the hip down to her knee. She's doing ok in spite of the fact that she fell on her broken hip this morning. She had to go to the bathroom and woundn't wait for the nurse to help her. They found her on the floor lying on the broken hip. Her arm is bandaged up now too from skin tears. Thankfully she didn't break anything or dislodge anything in her hip. Such a stubborn woman!

Christina, I'm sorry your mom has pneumonia. Hope she gets better soon.

I'm really tired so I'll go to bed now. It's almost 1:30am. Hope you all have a pleasant night and a happy tomorrow.

Love you all,
Ann
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A Potpourii of Paraprosdokians

PARAPROSDOKIANS

"paraprosdokian": figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is unexpected; Example: "Where there's a will, I want to be in it"


1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.


2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

4. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

5. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

6. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

7. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

8. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

9. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

10. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
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Welcome Renee!

Just the usual BS around here. Took James for a sleep study this evening. Luckily his friend will pick him up in the morning at 5:30am. Thank God for that because otherwise I would have to be up at 4am to get mom ready and in the car. I'm having a less than successful baking night. Thought I would make 4 small and 1 larger Applesauce Pecan Bread. Evidently I overfilled the pans and now the bottom of the oven is a mess! Tomorrows job....cleaning the oven.

On the bright side, my brother did come and stay with mom this evening for me to take James to his sleep study. I think my comment that I had only spend 3 days away from mom in 2011 and he hadn't even spent 3 days with her may have sunk into his head...Maybe?????

Still fighting with the black hole. I am resisting the acceptance of how my family has changed in the last year. I still remain heart broken that the people I have spent loving my whole life now hate me for taking care of my mother. My sibs admit they don't have the money to pay for mom to be in an ALF, but they still torment me. I guess they want me to put mom in a home against her wishes and let Medicaid take from the house she and I live in.

The bright spot, work is slow so I can do my creative planning of tours for our travel club. I enjoy my work, but very disappointed my caregiving responsibilities leave me out of attending the yearly conventions which are lots of information and fun.

In case I don't get back online until after Christmas, I wish each and everyone of you a blessed Christmas.

Love ya,
Diane
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Good evening all. I hope the holiday spirit and the Christmas holidays find a way to lighten your burdens and refresh your soul. It is a special time of year, even if we are still in the middle of our journeys.

Christina: so sorry to here that your Mom has pneumonia. After that recent, horrific, experience with trying to "spring" my Mom from the hospital, I tend to lean toward not admitting if possible. Most everything they could do for her in the hospital they can do for her in the ALF (do you have her on hospice care? They can be a life saver and save elders from the terrible experience of going to the hospital. They can bring all kinds of equipment to her and order and deliver any meds she needs. She can have a nurse monitor her care.) Keep me posted.

Kuli: please do not stay away because you are feeling blue. We have all been there. Those who are able will be there with ropes and ladders to get you out of the whole, then you can be there for others who need the help. I hope everyone who has lost the family member they were caring for, will stay around. It takes a long time to heal, readjust to a new life, and get back to the business of living. It doesn't happen overnight.

Cricket: such good advice, "Stay detached to spare your heart." I learned early on that you have to become two people: the caregiver and the loving family member. The caregiver has to be professional and "detached" in order to make the best decisions. But, if you do not have support from the rest of the family, you are left to juggle both roles.

A merry good evening to Linda, Rip, Rosella, SS, SSk and all the others who take the time to post in our little corner...such generosity.

I wish you a peaceful evening....
Lilli
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Renee welcome to our group -I happened to have AC come on my screen about a year before my husband died also when I did not think I could take another and was so encouraged by the love and support I received -he dide 2 and 1/2 years ago and I stick around because I have such great friends and sometimes can help others going through caregiveing-there are a few of us former caregivers and you will meet our captian Bobbie who started this thread almost 2 yrs. ago and many other angels and of course Cuz who keeps us laughing with his jokes.
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welcome renee ! im the schitofranic one lol , i love my crews here and hope u will too . keep in touch and u wont be so lonely ,
bobbie ! where are you , missing hearing you here waaaaaaa .
rossella - oysters and piss in applesauce ,, yummie sounds good , lalala
welp i guess i wont be going to my old hometown tmr , baby girl has to work till 10 pm and son called wanna me babysit so they can do santa shoppin ,
im kinda stressed out here , got so much runnin thru my head ! grrrr.
pa s good , xoxo
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Hi Renee!! So glad you came over! Yay!
I am at Mother's. She was ranting and raving when I got here, which to me was a good sign. She had a temp of 99, this morning it had been 97.6. The home HC nurse was here and tended to her wound. I gave her Augmentin and lots of fluids. I believe in a lot of hydration. Tomorrow we will see what doctor thinks about her condition. I don't want to speculate. Thank you all for your good thoughts. Love you mucho. Hugs, Christina xo
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Renee, welcome to the club of these crazy and funny women and occasionally some men. (and running oysters!)
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Welcome Renee,

I'm so glad you found us! Your Mom sounds like many of our parents also. Not all though. Check out the "caregivers affirmations" topic also when you need a boost. This thread is my FAVORITE though. Many "old souls" here and you can vent, cry, kick and scream, stomp your foot!...well you get the picture :) Lots of love and understanding here. It's like we're all on a giant seesaw, some of us are up and others down and overall we are on the ride together to balance things out.

Chirp Chirp Cricket
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Hi To all !! My name is Renee and I am "new" to caregiving. My mother is only 68 years old, has a slew of medical issues, top of the list is that she is mean and nasty :-) She has been living with us for 6 years now. I have allowed her to take over my entire home as I wanted her to be comfortable, boy is she ever!! NOTHING I ever do or say is good enough for her and she loves to remind me of it constantly. I found this site a couple days ago when I thought I couldnt take another day. Reading the posts and seeing that there are people out there going through what I go through helped immensely!! Have "met" some wonderful people on here and I hope to be around for a long long time. I hope to be able to give as much as I receive here and I am looking forward to getting to know you all. Renee
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Rossella, I thought maybe you knew something about Oysters that I didn't, hehe

Christine, it made me laugh... ps.. i sent you an email.. Do yourself a favor and ask Hubby to call them to inform them for you. Stay detached to spare your heart. It will help you to focus your energies on your Mother and not the brat patrol. If there is any energy left you need it for yourself. I am here for you. I am very good at copy and paste also.
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I saw an oyster run the other day, Rossella. It's possible.He was trying to get away from cocktail sauce. Scary. You are quite convicted in your defense of our efforts, and I appreciate that.
I have just found out that my Mother has pneumonia. I am standing here at the pharmacy waiting for a prescription-- that was not called in correctly 3 times. Ok--expletives not verbalized. I must remain level headed, but I am feeling my eyes get burny and blurry. Marv wants her to be admitted right away. The doctor wants to try Augmentin first. Tomorrow the doctor will see her at the house. I sill be there, and Marv is rearranging his schedule to be there by 2. He lost his Mother when he was 11, so he is reactive to these things. I remain calm to access and weigh--Libra, you know-- and I fall apart when it's settled.
I appreciate you all being here. I have called my brother, but will wait until after meeting with doctor to communicate with my sister. Thanks everyone. Hugs, C
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I didn't mean "Oysters", I meant "Ostrichs" Oh my my!
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Christina, that was a nice answer! (the broom): I would have said it to her.
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Girls, our parents decline. That's life, it's not our fault. Could have we made something better? Sure. Did we make mistakes? Sure. But in the end it's not up to us. I am a caregiver and I understand all the stress, the sense of responsibility connected to this kind of work, but let's make a step back and say to ourselves that we can't make them live forever, we can't save them from Alzheimer of physical diseases... I have one parent dead, one parent alive so I have lived both frustrations... Not to be able to save my father from death, not to be able to save my mother from a long and painful old age. But in the end I think all of us, all of us who write on this site, have done and are doing the best we can in a situation where 99% of our relatives escape running like oysters. (I know my english language is quite weird). So let's relax everybody as much as we can!
I am in a good mood today because I finally received a phone call from my older nephew who told me he is available to pick me up for the holidays because he knows I can't drive at dark. I have organized myself differently and I won't need it, but this phone call made me happy! He is very involved in social problems and maybe he understood that his grandmother and myself are kind of a social problem, too!
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Cricket, you are so good at visual FX! I could never figure out how to do that! Maybe you can reach me one day? Is it a copy and paste procedure?
Yes, everyone hang onto the black heart-- which reminds us of....siblings? Haha!! Just got email from birth sister saying high winds in the desert. Uh oh. Should I respond, "Just take your broom"? Really, I don't even feel like that, I'm just kidding and trying to make y'all laugh:) Love you!!!
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I found this piece of art and thought it would make a good visual to those of you in the black hole... maybe you can picture it this way to make it a little less painful.. love ya Chirpy Cricket....

────(♥)(♥)(♥)────(♥)(♥)(♥)
──(♥)██████(♥)(♥)██████(♥)
─(♥)████████(♥)████████(♥)
─(♥)██████████████████(♥)
──(♥)████████████████(♥)
────(♥)████████████(♥)
──────(♥)████████(♥)
────────(♥)████(♥)
─────────(♥)██(♥)
───────────(♥)
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Dropping in to wish all a happy first day of winter - may it not be a hard one.
Thinking of you all - wishing you well - hoping for a brighter tomorrow.
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rip - that dream sounds so good ! maybe the agingcare will provide us all a nice trippy pooie . lots of food and margaritta . they ll take care of us . no cookin or cleaning . we all folks be sippin and gigglin and laughin and maybe few tears . oh my goodness we be in heaven . cricket will have to give us a back rub . oh wait a min they ll hire some hubba hubba mooo to do our back . ill have kevin pls . lalala

going to the viewing tmr , in my hometown where i grew up at , 85 yrs old man with lung cancer has passed away . blew me away cuz he always looks good . i didnt know he was sick . i didnt even tell dad . afraid he ll freak out and be sad with broken heart . but i may have to tel him tmr when he wants to know where im going . its one and half hr drive to there , my girls are going to take turns to watch pa for me . may just tell pa im going shoppin .. hate tellin him a white lie .

christina - i know it seems like just the other day our parents are up walkin around gettin into things and all , now theyre dead weigh and tearin up our bodies , i dont mind it one bit ., he s worth it to me . i love my dad .

ssk - kuli - good to see you and u have the good holidays ok . stay away from the black hole . if i find u in th eblack hole i ll pour some of the tequila in there , salt ok too ? oh dont forget the lime !!! :-)
alrighty , me and my grandaughter are going to walk the dogs .
mariesmom - crickets . big hugs to you ....
hugs to you all . smile santa s comin to town .... xoxo
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Kuli, There is no dragging in, only dragging out. We are here with you. I am only halfway to where you are, but I do get it. "To be forewarned is to be forearmed", but it still does not take away the "what ifs", and the "Now What"?
I think of you ever day and wonder how you're doing. Please stay in touch. Hope you have a nice Holiday with your Family. Dive in, Kuli.
Thank you, rip. Yes, time here is "Tidings of comfort and a joy". I often have that dream about all of you, my friends and sisters. We are so Blessed. Hummingbirds in my yard, too:) It's supposed to be summer-like on Christmas here. Do you have a covered porch or sunroom that is open that they can get into? I have been putting seed out daily for the wild birds. Can't leave the feeder out because of rats:(
But we make it work for the happy birds:)
Cheers, and pass the pitcher and the salt...
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Ease up on yourself, Christina. I think the fact we spend time here speaks volumes about each of our commitment(s) to caregiving. It rarely is a choice ~ yet we bravely cope the best we can.
You're right. There will be a conclusion as with any journey.

I had a vivid dream last night. We we all on a TROPICAL cruise ship, Disney type for caregivers with fun respite stuff. We all recognized & knew each other from the thread. The staff was amazing & took wonderful care of us!

.... woke up to a frozen world & hummingbirds buzzing my window, watching me, waiting for their fix. Smart little ones know how to work me! They know that I bring their feeders indoors durning cold weather.

Cheers ~
Rip&Pets
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Jen - I say wear your "thong" while delivering cookies and maybe you'll be able to at least smile to yourself!! Sorry I haven't been posting but have been reading. Still struggling - you think once they pass on and are finally at rest, life will become normal again. Trouble is, the caregiver life has become your new normal and the loss of not only your loved one but also your normal leaves you feeling numb, lost, alone, sad, questioning was there something you should have done differently, exhausted, drained, etc, etc, etc. Compound all that with it being "the most wonderful time of the year" - well, let's just say the black hole I am in has no holiday decorations, no holiday spirit. Which is why I've stayed away from here - no reason to drag all of you in with me. I do keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers and wish nothing but the best for your holidays! Cherish the times you have, good and bad. I find myself wishing for just one more day, one more hour, one more moment, one more memory. Love to all, Kuli
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