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Hey cricket, if you're making chili you should also make some cornbread and honey butter to go with it. Cornbread and chili are a household favorite here, especially after a cold day.
Loved the story's Angelhair! Diane, I'm throwing the first punch at the black hole for ya! Quick take a few good deep breaths and tell yourself everything will work out and all is well. Hi Barb :) Love you to! I'm making another big pot of Chili, lol the guys love it and it's easy peasy to make. I'm thinking about all of you and hope you're all keeping in mind it's the spirit of Christmas that really matters not the gifts so please don't put expectations on yourself that are not necessary.
Well I finally got my little christmas tree decorated! The cat has already tried to eat a light and to knock the balls off. I'm sure by Christmas the tree will probably be naked. Talking abot cats, MIZ did you find your male cat that was missing?
I also managed to get out and buy mom a Christmas gift. Still haven't anything yet for James, but I have a few more days. I may even try bake some tomorrow. I would do so now except I need to buy some eggs and some other necessities to get started.
Nothing really new but wanted to check-in and let yall know I'm still battling with the black hole. Have a good afternoon my dear friends and I'll check back later.
Here's another one that i thought was quite funny.
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
Anglehair thank you for that story that says it all what Christmas is all about-I really feel gteat when I take in a bag of laperobes into the center to be donated. Diane we will get you out of the darn black hole.
An elderly gentleman.... Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.
The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. •My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. •The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. •My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. •My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. •I had no control over the drooling.. •Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. •I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!
It’s just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas Tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so. It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas—oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it-overspending…the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma—the gifts given in desperation because you couldn’t think of anything else. Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church, mostly black. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler’s ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn’t acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, “I wish just one of them could have won,” he said. “They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.” Mike loved kids-all kids-and he knew them, having coached little league, football, baseball and lacrosse. That’s when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Cristmas morning, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition—one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal it’s contents. As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn’t end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike’s spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us. May we all remember each other, and the Real reason for the season, and His true spirit this year and always. God bless—pass this along to your friends and loved ones.
woodstove is great , best heat ever . we cut our own , i got hubby a mr heater , runs on propane , works good too , cost 20 to fill up propane and it runs on so many hrs . love it ! out in the barn to where we can drink and smoke and be warm ,
We now have a wood burning stove in our garage. Hubby converted a steel drum. Nice and warm place to smoke. :) We will probably have to chop down some trees for wood cause it's so expensive. But at least we are not smoking in the house.
hi you all . thought id drop by and let you all know we re ok here . sheba disappeared in the dark , came back home an hr later with guilty look on her face and she laid on her back too with her all 4 paws in the air and tryin so hard not to look at me lol . was hopin she didnt kill no chickens . she ll make it lookslike coyote did it , lol . kids are comin home tmr to hang out . mm guess i shall make some chilli . not near done with shoppin , i dont think i will ever be done . oh gosh ....
didnt feel good today , i was freezing to the bones , my hands were like ice , hubby said damn linda ure like ice . i went and snuggle up in the thickest blanket and slept hard for 3 hrs , i think dad felt that too , he too slept hard . decided to get the woodstove going and plus i crank that thermostates up to 75 ! fk this bullshit freezin like a ice , screw it ,. crank em babies up and loaded up the wood in the stove , now its like 100 in there , pa s layin in the recliner and enjoying the heat :-) . ill turn em all back down before we head for bed , lol . diane , i love that mash sweet potatoes oh yummie ! christina , u talkin about makin those good food . u shall be the chef of the year go christina go woo hoo . we need christina to serve us yummies on the boat ! u feed us yummies and i ll serve u ur fav drinks . and diana u can do dishes ! lol , i have to stand by christina to keep her drinks full at all times . lol love you all !! have a good weekend and let u know that i think of you all at all times , hubbys enjoying his vacation , and im helping him to enjoy it too . xoxox
Mom got a Biowatch monitor today that she is to wear for 12 days. The cardiologist hopes this will register any arrithmyias she may be having that we can't seem to catch with the other monitors. In the mean time, mom is going to drive me bonkers over the freakin monitor. God, I need patience now more than ever!!!!! When mom gets tired she starts with her crazies and starts searching for things that don't exists, talking nonsense and doesn't know who I am. It is driving me nuts to deal with this parallel world of hers that doesn't exist. I swear I feel like I need to check myself into the nut house. That would be jumping from the frying pan to fire. I am so beyond burnout right now. The only thing that has gone right today is that I managed to cook mom and James a decent dinner. Pork chops, mashed sweet potatoes and fresh green beans.
Enough of my bitching. Thanks for letting me vent some more.
I am so happy for you that will have family and friends to share Christmas day. I am still waiting to see if the famil will grant mom's wish to have the familty together for Christmas. I'm just plain pissed off about it now that grown men and women can't hold their tongues for a few hours to give and old woman her one wish. Cricket, I know I would not have lasted through 12 years of caregiving. I will be lucky if I make it to four. Something has got to give soon, but not sure what. I'm making myself sick physically and mentally from all the family bull crap.
Yes, the Wall and Arlington were very profound experiences for me when I visited Washington, DC some years back.
Cuz, I loved the Christmas day story. We used to do silly things like that at Christmas just to have fun with each other, but no more. One year my brother kept saying he wanted a Jaguar car for christmas. We were all inside opening our gifts and then my nephew said to my brother that he needed to be blindfolded for his gift. He covered his eyes, led him outside to the driveway and then took the blindfold off. There in the driveway was a model size Jaguar. We all had a good laugh at all the excitement building up. Good memories.
Mom just had her physical therapy and is sitting in her recliner. I stayed in bed until 2pm today since my stomach is still killing me and I had a sitter to stay with mom. Could have just stayed there all day. The black hole is dragging me in again.
Well, let me take care of mom and I'll check in later. Have a good afternoon.
Austin, You are a true Blessing, the Christmas Spirit. And I love your Martha Stewart comment. Usually, "I" am Martha Stewart at our house, but not this year. My husband, Marvelous, has humbled himself to the fact that we may only be able to spend a couple hundred dollars. I already bought his new underwear and socks, so " Merry Christmas Harry, Happy Hannukah, Marv"--which is one of my favorite lines from my very favorite Christmas movie, "Home Alone". Another favorite line is "Keep the change, ya filthy animal", from the gangster movie he plays to scare the bandits. Also, Kudos to Lilliput for her many valiant efforts at candy making and her interesting results. Mystery Candy... Love all you wonderful caregivers and supporting cast of characters. Whoo Hoo!!
Marie'sMom good decision I am all for keeping the stress level down-she is comming to see you not Martha Stewart -I am having a stress free holiday this year good enough is good enough times are tough for everyone and most things are not that important-family and church first then whatever. Our little group got over the 285 shawls made for the ladies at the nursing home and lap robes for the men and scarfs also-to me that is the real meaning of Christmas-using talents God gives us for others.
Barb, I thought I had written to you or posted my absolutely positive feelings about a job for your hubby. Maybe it was a "hug" I sent you, a dream I had, or one of my posts lost in cyber space. Anyway, as I read the post of my sister, Cricket, about a good Monday for hubby, it triggered that knowing. Almost a deja vu. When you believe, testing that belief, your solution comes at the eleventh hour. All the best. Bet you find the tree. Wish I could bring you some of my ornaments and a little green tree. Tinsel and popcorn garlands. Hugs:) Christina xo
Cuz, thanks for the "Christmas with the family" I needed a good laugh.
Getting ready to take Dad in for his yearly prostate exam, oh joy!
Our son is home for the holidays and yesterday decided to put up lights around the house. So today I have to go buy a couple more strands of lights cause he ran out...we'll see if the job gets finished, lol The hubby is keeping him busy working out in the garage today... we take advantage when he is home to help us get some of the harder things done. He's a good guy and always comes home to hang around with us. It's a blessing.
I hope everyone got some sleep last night. Know that I'm thinking of you and you are all in my prayers.
Morning all and thanks for the good wishes re husbands efforts to get work.
The Wall in DC is a sobering place - as is the Korean memorial and the WW2 Memorial and of course Arlington. If you can't visit at a 'quiet time' then Memorial Day weekend is great with all the noise of the thousands of bikers who make the annual pilgramage. (My brother was in Vietnam twice, my father in WW2 and Korea)
One intervention re car keys without a direct 'taking the keys away' confrontation is to replace the ignition key with a very similar-looking key and say nothing. This worked with Mom (very early on when we knew she shouldn't drive but were yet to receive a diagnosis) She made repeated trips to try and start her car before eventually giving up and forgetting about it. Kind of made it her decision . . .
Christina i loe what you did re the decision not to host evey Sunday. My middle daugther sent word last night they (she and her sweetheart who I wish was her husband but its early yet) will be here for Christmas Eve - making the 2000 mile RT for a 2 nites/1 day visit. Crazy - but I get it. Her bf's parents live only 40 miles south of us.
My initial reaction was panic as we have already sent their gifts, have none here, and have not decorated. Decided it didn't matter. I will cook something lovely, buy some scented candles and look once more for that wee little tree to make the house somewhat festive. That will be good enough. She is coming for face time. She loves us. That is why she is coming - and I am grateful for that.
I am also grateful for my dear friends here an thei strength and courage.
Oh my Gosh!!!!! Father-in-law tried to burn down the house! Not really, he was just confused, but man was he upset when I took away the toaster. I was cleaning up from breakfast this morning and turned my head just in time to catch him putting an oven mitt in the toaster and pressing down the little lever. Note to self- put toaster away as soon as done using it. Also, he used the wrong bathroom again, which wouldn't be so bad except that it isn't set up for him so he makes a hugs mess. Also, we had to convince him that he can't drive again. He saw my keys and said "Those are mine and I am going for a drive." What I thought was "Like Hell you are!!!!" What I said was, "No Lynn, those keys are mine and the doctor took your licence away two years ago." which led into the why and who over and over and after it was all said and done he just still didn't understand why he can't drive. Anyone know the key to reasoning with someone with alzhiemers? As of yet I don't believe there is a really successful way. On top of that at two in the morning last he woke up really angry about who knows what and didn't go back to sleep for two hours; and this morning he was happy as a clam, but he was up two hours early so I had to get my four kids off to school while trying to keep him out of things. I also have been trying all day to convince him to let me change his breif, but he was having none of it. I am only 5 foot 8 in. there is no way I can force a man who is 6feet 3in to change his diaper. Finally his wife got home and we both got him to change his brief. Some days I feel as though I am chasing a giant two year old around the house, except that when he's naughty I can't tell him what he did wrong because no matter how much you explain he just can't grasp anything anymore. I had a very frustrating day today so I am glad I don't have him tomorrow. On an usual stroke of luck mother-in-law is off of work tomorrow so she can deal with him. I am going to my kids' Christmas program tomorrow. Thanks for listening to my vent session. I feel better already.
Hi everyone I found this quite awhile ago and thought it was an interesting and mind bogaling. I've never been to the wall in Washington DC but have seen a travaling wall that was here in Grand Rapids Mi. I hope this will be a great piece of information. Hugs to all LovCuz
Some interesting and sobering items about the Vietnam Wall.
"Carved on these walls is the story of America, of a continuing quest to preserve both democracy and decency, and to protect a national treasure that we call the American dream." Something to think about: Most of the surviving parents of the dead are now deceased themselves. There are 58,267 names now listed on that polished black wall, including those added in 2010.
The names are arranged in the order in which they were taken from us by date and within each date the names are alphabetized. It is hard to believe it is 36 years since the last casualties.
The first known casualty was Richard B. Fitzgibbon, of North Weymouth, Mass., listed by the U.S. Department of Defense as having been killed on June 8, 1956. His name is listed on the Wall with that of his son, Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Richard B. Fitzgibbon III, who was killed on Sept. 7, 1965.
There are three sets of fathers and sons on the Wall. 39,996 on the Wall were just 22 or younger.
12 soldiers on the Wall were 17 years old.
5 soldiers on the Wall were 16 years old.
One soldier, PFC Dan Bullock was 15 years old.
997 soldiers were killed on their first day in Vietnam.
1,448 soldiers were killed on their last scheduled day in Vietnam.
31 sets of brothers are on the Wall.
Thirty one sets of parents lost two of their sons.
54 soldiers on the Wall attended Thomas Edison High School in Philadelphia.... wonder why so many from one school?
8 Women are on the Wall -- nursing the wounded.
244 soldiers were awarded the Medal of Honor during the Vietnam War; 153 of them are on the Wall.
Beallsville, Ohio with a population of 475 lost 6 of her sons.
West Virginia had the highest casualty rate per capita in the nation. There are 711 West Virginians on the Wall.
The Marines of Morenci - They led some of the scrappiest high school football and basketball teams that the little Arizona copper town of Morenci (pop. 5,058) had ever known and cheered. They enjoyed roaring beer busts. In quieter moments, they rode horses along the Coronado Trail, stalked deer in the Apache National Forest. And in the patriotic camaraderie typical of Morenci's mining families, the nine graduates of Morenci High enlisted as a group in the Marine Corps.Their service began on Independence Day, 1966. Only 3 returned home.
The Buddies of Midvale - LeRoy Tafoya, Jimmy Martinez, Tom Gonzales were all boyhood friends and lived on three consecutive streets in Midvale, Utah on Fifth, Sixth and Seventh avenues. They lived only a few yards apart. They played ball at the adjacent sandlot ball field. And theyall went to Vietnam. In a span of 16 dark days in late 1967, all three would be killed. LeRoy was killed on Wednesday, Nov. 22, the fourth anniversary of John F. Kennedy's assassination. Jimmy died less than 24 here are no noble wars, just noble warriors ... "That is why we never forget"!!
You may have seen this before.
It is a good reminder of the numbers and names on the Wall.
A married couple had been out Christmas shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared". The somewhat irate spouse called her husband's cell phone and demanded: "Where the hell are you"???
Her husband responds by saying: "Darling, you remember that jewelry shop where you saw that diamond necklace which you totally fell in love with, and remember how I told you I didn't have much money at the time but said, 'Baby, it'll be yours one day'?" Wife, with a smile in her voice, blushing: "Yes I remember that, my love."
Husband: "Well, I'm in the pub next to that place."
As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty. One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go, you'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do?' 'You're kidding me!' 'Who would buy that?' Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour. Finding what I wanted was difficult. 'Love Dolls' come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for 'Lovable Louise.' She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of imagination. On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours. The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner. My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. 'What the hell is that?' she asked. My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.' 'Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped. I kept my mouth shut. 'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued. 'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jay said, to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have any teeth?' Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny, hang on!' My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, 'Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?' I told him she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home. The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants. Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car. It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health.. I can't wait until next Christmas.
Tis the season for stress. I work for a dentist, had 5 people with tooth aches the last couple of days, that the Doc diagnosed the cause as tooth grinding. Imagine that. A women brought her father in with his oxygen bottle. He had a nasal canula, but, kept breathing through his mouth, and yelling that his oxygen bottle was empty. I had so much fun at work, I stopped by the bar on the way home. Not that I drink (allergic to alcohol), but I sat there for 15 minutes watching everyone else drink. Wierd, but was very relaxing. The bar owner was a very good friend of my husbands, and I visited with him for a few minutes. Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow, and a job for Marie's Mom's hubby.
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Loved the story's Angelhair! Diane, I'm throwing the first punch at the black hole for ya! Quick take a few good deep breaths and tell yourself everything will work out and all is well. Hi Barb :) Love you to! I'm making another big pot of Chili, lol the guys love it and it's easy peasy to make. I'm thinking about all of you and hope you're all keeping in mind it's the spirit of Christmas that really matters not the gifts so please don't put expectations on yourself that are not necessary.
Love you all,
Cricket Chirp Chirp
I also managed to get out and buy mom a Christmas gift. Still haven't anything yet for James, but I have a few more days. I may even try bake some tomorrow. I would do so now except I need to buy some eggs and some other necessities to get started.
Nothing really new but wanted to check-in and let yall know I'm still battling with the black hole. Have a good afternoon my dear friends and I'll check back later.
Love ya,
Diane
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.
The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
•My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
•The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
•My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
•My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
•I had no control over the drooling..
•Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
•I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!
It’s just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas Tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so.
It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas—oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it-overspending…the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma—the gifts given in desperation because you couldn’t think of anything else.
Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way.
Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church, mostly black.
These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes.
As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler’s ears.
It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn’t acknowledge defeat.
Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, “I wish just one of them could have won,” he said. “They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.”
Mike loved kids-all kids-and he knew them, having coached little league, football, baseball and lacrosse. That’s when the idea for his present came.
That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church.
On Cristmas morning, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me.
His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years.
For each Christmas, I followed the tradition—one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on.
The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal it’s contents.
As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn’t end there.
You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad.
The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike’s spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us.
May we all remember each other, and the Real reason for the season, and His true spirit this year and always. God bless—pass this along to your friends and loved ones.
— Copyright © 1982 Nancy W. Gavin(The story first appeared in Woman’s Day magazine in 1982. My mom had sent the story in as a contest entry in which she subsequently won first place. Unfortunately, she passed away from cancer two years after the story was published. Our family still keeps the tradition started by her and my father and we have passed it on to our children. Feel free to use the story. It gives me and my sisters great joy to know that it lives on and has hopefully inspired others to reach out in a way that truly honors the spirit of Christmas. — Kevin Gavin)
thought id drop by and let you all know we re ok here .
sheba disappeared in the dark , came back home an hr later with guilty look on her face and she laid on her back too with her all 4 paws in the air and tryin so hard not to look at me lol . was hopin she didnt kill no chickens . she ll make it lookslike coyote did it , lol .
kids are comin home tmr to hang out . mm guess i shall make some chilli .
not near done with shoppin , i dont think i will ever be done . oh gosh ....
didnt feel good today , i was freezing to the bones , my hands were like ice , hubby said damn linda ure like ice . i went and snuggle up in the thickest blanket and slept hard for 3 hrs , i think dad felt that too , he too slept hard . decided to get the woodstove going and plus i crank that thermostates up to 75 ! fk this bullshit freezin like a ice , screw it ,. crank em babies up and loaded up the wood in the stove , now its like 100 in there , pa s layin in the recliner and enjoying the heat :-) . ill turn em all back down before we head for bed , lol .
diane , i love that mash sweet potatoes oh yummie !
christina , u talkin about makin those good food . u shall be the chef of the year go christina go woo hoo . we need christina to serve us yummies on the boat ! u feed us yummies and i ll serve u ur fav drinks . and diana u can do dishes ! lol , i have to stand by christina to keep her drinks full at all times .
lol love you all !! have a good weekend and let u know that i think of you all at all times ,
hubbys enjoying his vacation , and im helping him to enjoy it too . xoxox
Enough of my bitching. Thanks for letting me vent some more.
Love ya,
Diane
I am so happy for you that will have family and friends to share Christmas day. I am still waiting to see if the famil will grant mom's wish to have the familty together for Christmas. I'm just plain pissed off about it now that grown men and women can't hold their tongues for a few hours to give and old woman her one wish.
Cricket, I know I would not have lasted through 12 years of caregiving. I will be lucky if I make it to four. Something has got to give soon, but not sure what. I'm making myself sick physically and mentally from all the family bull crap.
Yes, the Wall and Arlington were very profound experiences for me when I visited Washington, DC some years back.
Cuz, I loved the Christmas day story. We used to do silly things like that at Christmas just to have fun with each other, but no more. One year my brother kept saying he wanted a Jaguar car for christmas. We were all inside opening our gifts and then my nephew said to my brother that he needed to be blindfolded for his gift. He covered his eyes, led him outside to the driveway and then took the blindfold off. There in the driveway was a model size Jaguar. We all had a good laugh at all the excitement building up. Good memories.
Mom just had her physical therapy and is sitting in her recliner. I stayed in bed until 2pm today since my stomach is still killing me and I had a sitter to stay with mom. Could have just stayed there all day. The black hole is dragging me in again.
Well, let me take care of mom and I'll check in later. Have a good afternoon.
Love ya,
Diane
Also, Kudos to Lilliput for her many valiant efforts at candy making and her interesting results. Mystery Candy...
Love all you wonderful caregivers and supporting cast of characters. Whoo Hoo!!
Almost a deja vu. When you believe, testing that belief, your solution comes at the eleventh hour. All the best. Bet you find the tree. Wish I could bring you some of my ornaments and a little green tree. Tinsel and popcorn garlands. Hugs:) Christina xo
Cuz, thanks for the "Christmas with the family" I needed a good laugh.
Getting ready to take Dad in for his yearly prostate exam, oh joy!
Our son is home for the holidays and yesterday decided to put up lights around the house. So today I have to go buy a couple more strands of lights cause he ran out...we'll see if the job gets finished, lol The hubby is keeping him busy working out in the garage today... we take advantage when he is home to help us get some of the harder things done. He's a good guy and always comes home to hang around with us. It's a blessing.
I hope everyone got some sleep last night. Know that I'm thinking of you and you are all in my prayers.
Love Cricket
The Wall in DC is a sobering place - as is the Korean memorial and the WW2 Memorial and of course Arlington. If you can't visit at a 'quiet time' then Memorial Day weekend is great with all the noise of the thousands of bikers who make the annual pilgramage. (My brother was in Vietnam twice, my father in WW2 and Korea)
One intervention re car keys without a direct 'taking the keys away' confrontation is to replace the ignition key with a very similar-looking key and say nothing. This worked with Mom (very early on when we knew she shouldn't drive but were yet to receive a diagnosis) She made repeated trips to try and start her car before eventually giving up and forgetting about it. Kind of made it her decision . . .
Christina i loe what you did re the decision not to host evey Sunday. My middle daugther sent word last night they (she and her sweetheart who I wish was her husband but its early yet) will be here for Christmas Eve - making the 2000 mile RT for a 2 nites/1 day visit. Crazy - but I get it. Her bf's parents live only 40 miles south of us.
My initial reaction was panic as we have already sent their gifts, have none here, and have not decorated. Decided it didn't matter. I will cook something lovely, buy some scented candles and look once more for that wee little tree to make the house somewhat festive. That will be good enough. She is coming for face time. She loves us. That is why she is coming - and I am grateful for that.
I am also grateful for my dear friends here an thei strength and courage.
Hugs and love to all.
LovCuz
Some interesting and sobering items about the Vietnam Wall.
"Carved on these walls is the story of America, of a continuing quest to preserve both democracy and decency, and to protect a national treasure that we call the American dream."
Something to think about: Most of the surviving parents of the dead are now deceased themselves.
There are 58,267 names now listed on that polished black wall, including those added in 2010.
The names are arranged in the order in which they were taken from us by date and within each date the names are alphabetized. It is hard to believe it is 36 years since the last casualties.
The first known casualty was Richard B. Fitzgibbon, of North Weymouth, Mass., listed by the U.S. Department of Defense as having been killed on June 8, 1956. His name is listed on the Wall with that of his son, Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Richard B. Fitzgibbon III, who was killed on Sept. 7, 1965.
There are three sets of fathers and sons on the Wall.
39,996 on the Wall were just 22 or younger.
12 soldiers on the Wall were 17 years old.
5 soldiers on the Wall were 16 years old.
One soldier, PFC Dan Bullock was 15 years old.
997 soldiers were killed on their first day in Vietnam.
1,448 soldiers were killed on their last scheduled day in Vietnam.
31 sets of brothers are on the Wall.
Thirty one sets of parents lost two of their sons.
54 soldiers on the Wall attended Thomas Edison High School in
Philadelphia.... wonder why so many from one school?
8 Women are on the Wall -- nursing the wounded.
244 soldiers were awarded the Medal of Honor during the Vietnam War; 153
of them are on the Wall.
Beallsville, Ohio with a population of 475 lost 6 of her sons.
West Virginia had the highest casualty rate per capita in the nation.
There are 711 West Virginians on the Wall.
The Marines of Morenci - They led some of the scrappiest high school football and basketball teams that the little Arizona copper town of Morenci (pop. 5,058) had ever known and cheered. They enjoyed roaring beer busts. In quieter moments, they rode horses along the Coronado Trail, stalked deer in the Apache National Forest. And in the patriotic camaraderie typical of Morenci's mining families, the nine graduates of Morenci High enlisted as a group in the Marine Corps.Their service began on Independence Day, 1966. Only 3 returned home.
The Buddies of Midvale - LeRoy Tafoya, Jimmy Martinez, Tom Gonzales were all boyhood friends and lived on three consecutive streets in Midvale, Utah on Fifth, Sixth and Seventh avenues. They lived only a few yards apart. They played ball at the adjacent sandlot ball field. And theyall went to Vietnam.
In a span of 16 dark days in late 1967, all three would be killed.
LeRoy was killed on Wednesday, Nov. 22, the fourth anniversary of John F. Kennedy's assassination. Jimmy died less than 24 here are no noble wars, just noble warriors ... "That is why we never forget"!!
You may have seen this before.
It is a good reminder of the numbers and names on the Wall.
Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business
A married couple had been out Christmas shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon.
Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared".
The somewhat irate spouse called her husband's cell phone and demanded: "Where the hell are you"???
Her husband responds by saying: "Darling, you remember that jewelry shop where you saw that diamond necklace which you totally fell in love with, and remember how I told you I didn't have much money at the time but said, 'Baby, it'll be yours one day'?"
Wife, with a smile in her voice, blushing: "Yes I remember that, my love."
Husband: "Well, I'm in the pub next to that place."
As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them.
What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.
One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.
If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go, you'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do?' 'You're kidding me!' 'Who would buy that?' Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.
I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.
Finding what I wanted was difficult. 'Love Dolls' come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for 'Lovable Louise.' She was at the bottom of the price scale.
To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of imagination.
On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.
My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.
The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.
We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.
My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. 'What the hell is that?' she asked.
My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.'
'Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped.
I kept my mouth shut.
'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued.
'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jay said, to steer her into the dining room.
But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have any teeth?'
Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny, hang on!'
My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, 'Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?' I told him she was Jay's friend.
A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.
The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.
Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.
It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.
Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.
Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health..
I can't wait until next Christmas.