Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Diane and Christina, I know how you feel. Back when I took care of Charlie he would repeat "I think I'm dying" like 20 times a day and by the time my husband would come in from work at the end of the day I would tel him that if I had to hear "I think I'm dying" one more time I was going to get a gun and blow my fricken head off. He was the 3rd parent, now I'm on the final one Dad and while I'm glad he is alive and as well as can be it's been 5 yrs and as you all know I have had some really bad days to. I have been doing caregiving for over 12 years now and feel at times that it takes everything I have in me to hold on to my own sense of self.....before all the parents I had 4 children, so things just continued to get more demanding when the parents started arriving. Staying positive is a daily challenge. Some days are better than others. I am so grateful to everyone here that was here for me on those really bad days with Dad. I made it over the hump with the encouragement that everyone showed me. The one thing that being a caregiver has taught me is that it has taught me a lot about myself, good and bad. It's definitely a journey.
Barb, where there is a glimmer, sometimes a full blown fire develops! Hoping very much that the glimmer will evolve into something wonderful for you guys! Keep us posted! Hugs!
Love you, Diane. We are in tough circumstances. But truly, we have each other here. Many good friends. We must lean on each other, and know we can relax in this friendship. Tomorrow is another day. {{{{{Big Hugs}}}}}}
Diane, I feel the same way lots of days--what you just said: running through the street screaming! Imagine Jerry Lewis: blaaaaah, blaaah...antics, facial contortions, pigeon-toed stomping around. That is how I used to feel when my Mother was here, when I did not get sleep at night, when her constant neediness was driving me up the frickin wall. I could not believe that it was so weird and non-stop, and oh my gosh, I don't think I can stand another minute, this is going to kill me. Etcetera. Still suffering the aftermath with deformed feet, patches of psoriasis on my elbows, excess weight from constant cortisol production, sister and her selfish ugly comments kicking me when I was down. I can access that anytime. I DON'T WANT TO. I have had enough. I would like to resume a normal life, working, visiting my Mother, not letting the whole dynamic consume me and ruin my life. Every other day I wake up either neutral or anxious. I force myself to try for as long as possible to look forward to the day, do positive things, do something good for myself, reach out to others. At 10 today, my daughter texted me about her bf's son's Holiday Concert and party. She was so excited about the gingerbread house she made, she wanted me to see it. I had just left on my walk. I didn't want to let her down, so I turned around, ran home, took a quick shower and went to the pre school. I did not really want to go, but I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. She was so excited and I didn't want to disappoint her. I took the opportunity after the party to tell her I would like to divide up our weekly family get together so that NOT EVERY Sunday it is at our house: I plan the meal, cook it, serve it, clean it up, etc. We'll see what happens. I think dealing with these people who think I am just going to accommodate everyone with no regard for my needs is what discourages me. It threw off my whole day, but oh well. I know when I do my part, then I have more leverage to ask for what I want. However, I have learned to NOT ask my sister for anything, to not expect her to care what I am going through, to not expect anything at all from her ever again. Done. I hope I do not say that about my son and daughter one day. That would be a very sad day. I started this day very positive and looking forward, and now it is dark and cold and going to rain again. My positivity did not last very long, maybe a few hours. I will try again tomorrow. What else can we do? We just try our BEST.
Evening all you lovelies - and cuz. A brief, prsonal moment of hope and positivity - my husband passed round one telephone interview today and will be talking directly to the hiring manager on Monday. Way too soon to get excited as we have been down this road seveal times before only to have it dead end - but hey - there is a glimmer.
I need to get into that positive outlook, but just can't seem to get there. Spent the whole day at doctor appointments and doing a CT scan. Doctor says my stomach pain is just IBS. My mother is constantly complaining she doesn't feel well and insists I have her breathing gasoline instead of oxygen. When she starts the nonsense and whining I just want to run through the street screaming my head off. Yep, I'm going crazy!!!! Let me do something productive and finish getting dinner ready.
Sorry for my venting and being negative. Have a good evening everyone. Bee stay safe on the roads tomorrow.
All morning was a beautiful sunny 70 degrees outside with a light breeze but now it's clouding up a bit so who knows what the rest of the day will bring. I to am working on staying positive and upbeat, it helps when getting a good nights sleep and eating healthy. It also helps to stay positive by focusing on ALL that I do have in my life that is good no matter how small.
Hugs and pats on the backs passed around to all of us.
Thank you, angelhair, for description. I will not be writing on rice, but I appreciate the patience and talent one needs to do that. Blessings to you. Carolyn, you are doing Great! Enjoy your trip to NY. Probably my favorite place in the world, but I have not been to Rome yet. Congrats on your lens. Praying for your best. Relax around Mom, let the energy flow, not get jumbled into frustration. The combination of irritable personality and dementia is the biggest challenge. Try to observe it and not be "in it". We love you, too:) Passed the sweet email on to family and friends explaining the encouragement of Cuz. Thank you, Cuz. You are a joy and a blessing all year long. I finished the tree. Vacuumed and got the boxes stacked for hubby to put back in garage. I feel better. Haha. Visited Mother yesterday and took her a treat of Hagen-Daaz Rum Raisin in those tiny cartons. She oohed and hummed while I fed her. Then we shared a pear. Today it's going to be sunny and 61, which is not that warm, for CA, but at least it's not windy or raining, so will take Mother for a walk this morning. Really working on staying positive and upbeat. For me, that means praying and saying affirmations, drinking lots of water, doing healthy and productive activities Before I do Other things. It's not easy. Having my 1/2 cup Special K with Red Berries, then going for a walk. Fed wild birds this morning. I love to see them happy and flitting about and making a big mess in my yard. Yay!! Tweet Tweet!! Hey, Chirpy!! Oops. Fighting over a sunflower seed. Aren't they silly?! Love you all. Have a good one and BBL. Hugs, Christina xo
cgfollansbee, remember the good things. It sounds like you need some moral support. Remember that we are here for you even when you can't read all of the posts. Remember that this is just a phase in your life and this too will end. When you are feeling down look to the future and remember that you do have friends out there who are here to listen when you need to vent. Sometimes it is good to just say it and get it out there.
christina28 I take a very fine point pen, has to be about.05 mm. I would write names and do different colors, but black shows the best, and on the back I would draw a little caricature or design. A magnifying glass helps, but not extremely necessary if you can see well, however it does help. The most important thing is a steady hand and paying attention to detail.
I'm back at least for today. Much going on here and we'll be traveling tomorrow morning and not back until next Tuesday. Whew, I hear you who have half-hearted Christmas spirit going on. I did not put up a tree and doubt I will. I did the cyber shopping thing and successfully got everything here on time, even wrapped everything because we have to deliver Chirstmas this weekend. Long story...I'll spare you.
I do have some good news, though. I got my sclera lens on Tuesday. I can only wear it a few hours a day for now but it is making a huge difference. This lens will be replaced in a few weeks with one the doc thinks will be even better. Yeah and thank God! (Driving is still months away, but this is a step in the right direction.)
I admit I haven't read all the posts I've missed over the past few weeks but I did see the "Memory Lane" theme. Wow, talk about some wild memories! I was born in Philadelphia and remember scavaging soda bottles to get penny candy, treasuring my skate key, and mastering my French twist hair style for special occasions.
Despite my lack of participation lately, I've been thinking of you: Cricket, Diane, Christina, Joan, Cuz, Kathy, Joanne, Ro, Peg, Linda, Stormy, Melissa, Lisa, Igloo, Et Al. You have no idea how important you have become to me and my sanity.
These next few weeks are going to be a b...h. I am in tough love mode as far as Mom is concerned and she is fighting back like a wild cat. I don't have too much resistance from the sibs, but they don't seem to have the tenacity to get things done.
Reality is, I am fed up, depressed and wishing I could just disconnect the phone and walk away. I can't and I won't. I feel defeated one minute and talking to myself to get moving the next. (split personality?) Mom has AFib and dementia. She's driving me to insanity! (short trip at this point!)
I'm hoping to catch some Christmas spirit for my husband's sake. He's such a sweetheart and so supportive. He deserves so much more than I'm able to give him right now. I'm hoping that seeing our three grand daughters this weekend will help me rekindle some happy feelings.
We have a Christmas party tonight at the college and I have to get packed because we're leaving for NY in the morning. I do hope you all have a great weekend and find some peaceful moments.
Snow and shit on the walls here...But could be worse....Hope everyone is doing Ok minus cars wrapped round trees, a-hole reatives, being broke, holiday stress, and care giving calamities...
A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex ... She spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles ... Something she just loved to do. As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, "Why do you love doing that?"
Because ... She Replied ..... "I Really Miss Mine"
Kathy, I feel for you. I sure hope the family takes mom for the day to give you a break. I'm trying to get my family to agree to spend Christmas day together and that is proving challenging. I'm fed up with them acting like I'm hurting my mother when in fact I'm the only one caring for her. I think they are just using me as a scape goat for what they can't accept.
Carolyn, I'm glad mom wasn't severly hurt or anyone else. Sometimes it takes something big to get them to accept their own limitations. Thanks for the e-card too. It was very sweet. I have a few poinsettias out and a bare Christmas tree still. I just can't seem to get the Christmas spirit with all this family crap going on.
I'm heading to the doctor tomorrow because I think I may have found a cause for why my IBS is constantly flaring up....No, not stress, but rather the antidepressant Cymbalta. One of its side effects is stomach pain. Hopefully the doc will change me meds and find something easier on the stomach and more effective on for my depression.
Nothing new otherwise. I hope everyone can get some rest tonight and face tomorrow with renewed energy.
oops what happen , ah there is my error ! BOO i mean BEE ! OH GOSH . i just woke up , took a nap i guess my mind is still sleeping , gloomey weather today , sure does brings ya down some . msm- cleveland , mmm its the next state over from me . i sure hope it all works out for the better and praying that ur hubby gets the job . christina - ure a sweetheart inside and outside . i dont think u have a mean bug in ya . ill be back later , have crap to do . xoxo
boo - my goodness what a nightmare to be wrappin a car around the pole . glad nobodys hurt or killed . glad u came and let us know whats going on here . big hugs to u dear and i hope that everyday wil be a better day for you .
At long last, hello my friends. What a week or two it has been! I've been MIA because Mom has been quite a hand full and I have been... well, depressed to the point of not wanting to talk about it. I'm still a bit depressed but life goes on and there are few dull moments for caregivers! We've been waiting for some "tragedy" to bring Mom to the point where we could make some changes in her life style. (Living alone refusing to cooperate with our efforts to get her the help she so desperately needs.) Well, she wrapped her car around a pole Monday. Thank God she didn't get hurt badly and didn't kill or hurt anyone else. She spent one night in the hospital for observation and is refusing everything we're trying to do. But...no more car so she's at our mercy to help her figure out how to handle her life. Got to run,,,,more later. Miss all of you! ((( huge ))) Bee
Angelhair: were you speaking to me, not Cricket? I know our names look the same--I noticed that too the first time she posted!!! cricketina, and Christina. We are very much alike, but she is a lot nicer than I am. heehee I will thank you anyway for your sweet post. How do you write on rice? I know "white on rice"...
Barb, oh, you noticed that, too? That people are not as bright as they used to be. I have noticed that for years. It is the dumbing down--which to me is an oxymoron, because "dumb" is "down". One does not say "Dumb Up". Geeze. even the idiots coming up with the trendy cliches are stupid, too. Really, when I am depressed, or whatever it is--maybe it's "fed up" with life, I just want a new planet with smart people. Everyone here can come. Most people on this side of the computer with me can stay here. I will leave. OVER IT BIG TIME!!! I don't know if you noticed that my name rhymes with "piss n' vinegar"?
I suppose I should feel guilty that those of you actively caregiving are decorating for the holidays and I am not. I did make a half-hearted effort to look for the little ceramic tree but my heart is just not in it.
I am blessed to have such a wonderful husband and children, and very happy memories of holidays with them and others dear to me - but this year won't be that. husband and I will watch a pay per view movie - we're thinking Cowboys and Aliens will be fun (we always took the kids to the movies on Christmas Day) and perhaps make a couple of cornish hens and some dressing. (I made him a cornish hen the first time he came to my home for dinner so that is kind of a tradition too)
Someone actually emailed husband re a job we'd applied to this morning - just wanted his resume so we're not exaxctly jumping up and down - it is a job he is imminently qualified for and in Cleveland. Not my 1st choice for a place to live but at least there I would not have to routinely spell my last name . . .overall, people are not as bright as they used to be. Now that would be wonderful Christmas gift wouldn't it? A job. That - other than of course world peace and good health - is all we want for Christmas - because if we don't have one by the end of the month, things are going to get real ugly real fast. Anyone here thats linked-in to Santa we'd really appreciate an introduction.
Oh wah wah wah. Sorry. Its just that not een my husband is fully cognizant of how bad things are (as i keep the books) and I have to vent to somebody!
Cricket, I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. Don't worry too much about things that you can't change. I will remember all of you special individuals in my prayers. I used to make necklaces. I would write on a tiny grain of rice and put it in a bottle of oil with beeds and pretty little gems, usually a birthstone and some favorite colors. I would usually make them for my children's friends at Christmas time, butI haven't been able to make them for years however. Maybe I'll get back into it when my life is less complicated.
Morning Everyone, Not too much going on here, but, wanted to say, I feel your angst, Deefer. My Mother is also pretty much gone. She somehow responds when I ask her a simple question, or tell her I love her. I have no animosity left for her, which is a very good thing, and a very long time coming. She is not walking and spends most mornings sleeping. I hope she is not aware of her situation. Talk about gifts. I took a gift and a card for my sister and her husband when they visited Mother last Sunday, but I think it was not the right thing, now that I think about it. It seems to be an "in your face" gesture, and that does not get me any closer to forgiving her and moving on. So, after discovering she did not take it, I removed it on Monday, and will forget about it. I can't say, "Get out of my house and don't contact me", and then give her a Christmas gift. Duh. I will send my brother a couple of things, because he is innocuous and uncomplicated. He sends a Christmas card and a birthday card to me every year. He does what he can. I will have to send him money if he comes down to see Mother, and pick him up from train, and do everything for him. I do not want to deal with that until our life is running better. Making things: I have made cookies. I will make more cookies. I may even finish decorating my tree. Think I have convinced hubby that this is final year for the monstrous tree. My favorite is a 6 ft Noble fir, something that smells like Christmas in a waft as you walk by. I have huge boxes of decorations that I keep very organized and each box marked, 'angels and birds for top of tree', Breakables, garlands and wreath, etc. I was hoping my son would have a household by now and I could dole them out, and I already bought Morgan a bunch this year for her new abode. They are not as interested in them as I am, however. I am beginning to think there is no one like me in the family, and perhaps the stork did, in fact, drop me down the wrong chimney once upon a time. Maybe I am a throw back, and they should have. I bought lots of semi-precious stones to make bracelets, but haven't sat down long enough, besides here, to make them. I enjoy wearing them myself, and like to combine crystals with other stones on the stretchy monofilament. Maybe after first of year, and I will make birthday presents for everyone here. Cricket is first. Everyone needs to email me their birthdays, since I am not on FB, and shall not go there. No matter what anyone says. Just one of my quirks. One of 2. haha Sending prayers of healing to all who need special comfort, special dog and goat hugs and sweet reprimands--this is why "One Cat" is my motto. Missing lots of our friends who will remain in my heart forever. {{{{{Friends}}}}} So thankful for you all, here, there, and Everywhere. Hugs, Christina xo
Making lots of great memories here!!! NOT!!! It was raining sh!t balls on my feet this morning when I stood Mom up to wash her backside. Ah! The good life!!!
E-mailed my sister this morning and told her we are staying home for X-mas this year, but I will be making the 20 minute drive to drop Mom off to have dinner with all her off spring that she hasn't seen in months! Merry said she will come and help me get her dressed and ready and will gladly come with me for the "drive- by" drop off of Mom.After all, I spent every holiday with her this year, so I think they can handle one day with her. I'm sure my ears will be ringing all day long. We'll see what actually transpires. Knowing my sibs they will come up with an excuse to cancel the family X-mas dinner just so I can keep Mom here. By the way, no one called or showed up on Thanksgiving. What a surprise that was!!! Been bogged down with an injured cat and many vet trips to drain a hematoma on his ear. Got through the 2 craft shows and made a few bucks. Now I am finishing homemade gifts for everyone. As usual I have put too much pressure on myself and am lacking in any free time for myself. I'm determined to have a gift for everyone, even though I have no $$ and my family doesn't deserve anything. They all have jobs, homes and much $$, but I'm sure they are all going to say that they cut back on gifts this year. That equals more $$ to spend on themselves. There won't be anything under our tree for us, but that's okay. My tree is up and decorated, but the house is still a disorganized mess and will most likely remain so through the holiday. That's okay, because I don't expect any visitors! My sil is having X-mas this Sunday, so I have to get gifts finished and make stuffed shells and lazy pierogi as my contribution to the potluck dinner. My husband continues to be added stress for me, but my comments seem to be sinking in finally. He is actually doing things without my asking, but is still the laziest man on earth!!! I rarely look at the computer right now, so forgive me for falling behind on everyone's news.I keep thinking if I just get past the holidays, things will settle down and I can join you once again. Mom's dementia is progressing and she is all but gone most days. Hoping I can still keep dragging her to daycare through the winter. It's getting harder and harder to get her ready and into the car. Just getting her washed and dressed in the morning is exhausting. Rossella, I imagine us going through the same things every day, and hope that we still have enough of ourselves left to enjoy our last years on earth. Bobbie!!!! Hope you had a nice visit!! Things to do, places to go and people to see!!! Miss you all!
Morning all. I have smiled a lot reading about the good memories. (Please lets not post the bad ones for they were plenty as well) I have more.
Remember the at-home perms? OMG how ruined did that make our hair?
Remember when the whole family shared the same bar of soap - Ivory, Palmolive - and Lava for the really dirty hands?
How about getting a dose of castor oil? Geritol? Or the mercurochome - that stingey red stuff they put on boo-boos? And aspirin was just about it for pain relief?
And the bubble gum that came with a comic inside?
And the little pots of cold creme?
And how we washed our faces with Noxema? ("Do it every day")
And how we had to steal our dad's razors to shave our legs?
And how we had to use a typewriter for term papers and how much fun it was to wind the ribbon and that wonderful typewriter smell? I can smell it now . . .
good morning ! read everybodys post and awww yep its one hellva memory path , gosh i remmy all of em . my sis used to iron her hair with her girlfriend ., lol hey iron my hair plz !!!
cricket - i was raised in a small town with alot of teenagers . mercy sakes we were wild then , wild but good . shhh dont tell mom and dad , hahahaha there be a small town sherrif there but he s always sittin in his driveway lol ,. he knew we all like to party down and we still be our best behavior , there was never any fights , we all were happy as ever . :-) the old poolhall , ping pong balls machines , 25 cent to play , pool to play , juke box to jammmin a ling . whole town would play bog segar , down on main street , gawd we be jammin , some would stand on the pool table and dance to the song of all she wants to do is dance , !!! man those were the days . waaaaa i miss those days waaaaaaaa . no worries no bills . just go uptown and somebodys got something and we all be standing around smiling . enjoying life . when i turned 17 it all changed , now im a granny pooie . hahaha
anyway woke up to see hubby leave , at 4 am . shit sheba peed in the mud room , ahh went ck on dad , his bed sheets and tshirt were soaked , took care of him and got him comfty then went to clean up all that piss soaked right thru cemebt floor , grr grrr , now my mudroom smells like STINK , i cleaned it up with very soap i had , scrub scrub like a cinderella , i just want to go back to 70 ;s . alrighty i best get back to cleanin . hubby s last day of work is today , vacation till next year woo woo hooot . xoxo
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Barb, where there is a glimmer, sometimes a full blown fire develops! Hoping very much that the glimmer will evolve into something wonderful for you guys! Keep us posted! Hugs!
I can access that anytime. I DON'T WANT TO. I have had enough. I would like to resume a normal life, working, visiting my Mother, not letting the whole dynamic consume me and ruin my life. Every other day I wake up either neutral or anxious. I force myself to try for as long as possible to look forward to the day, do positive things, do something good for myself, reach out to others.
At 10 today, my daughter texted me about her bf's son's Holiday Concert and party. She was so excited about the gingerbread house she made, she wanted me to see it. I had just left on my walk. I didn't want to let her down, so I turned around, ran home, took a quick shower and went to the pre school. I did not really want to go, but I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. She was so excited and I didn't want to disappoint her. I took the opportunity after the party to tell her I would like to divide up our weekly family get together so that NOT EVERY Sunday it is at our house: I plan the meal, cook it, serve it, clean it up, etc. We'll see what happens. I think dealing with these people who think I am just going to accommodate everyone with no regard for my needs is what discourages me.
It threw off my whole day, but oh well. I know when I do my part, then I have more leverage to ask for what I want. However, I have learned to NOT ask my sister for anything, to not expect her to care what I am going through, to not expect anything at all from her ever again. Done. I hope I do not say that about my son and daughter one day. That would be a very sad day.
I started this day very positive and looking forward, and now it is dark and cold and going to rain again. My positivity did not last very long, maybe a few hours. I will try again tomorrow. What else can we do? We just try our BEST.
A brief, prsonal moment of hope and positivity - my husband passed round one telephone interview today and will be talking directly to the hiring manager on Monday. Way too soon to get excited as we have been down this road seveal times before only to have it dead end - but hey - there is a glimmer.
I need to get into that positive outlook, but just can't seem to get there. Spent the whole day at doctor appointments and doing a CT scan. Doctor says my stomach pain is just IBS. My mother is constantly complaining she doesn't feel well and insists I have her breathing gasoline instead of oxygen. When she starts the nonsense and whining I just want to run through the street screaming my head off. Yep, I'm going crazy!!!! Let me do something productive and finish getting dinner ready.
Sorry for my venting and being negative. Have a good evening everyone. Bee stay safe on the roads tomorrow.
Love ya,
Diane
All morning was a beautiful sunny 70 degrees outside with a light breeze but now it's clouding up a bit so who knows what the rest of the day will bring. I to am working on staying positive and upbeat, it helps when getting a good nights sleep and eating healthy. It also helps to stay positive by focusing on ALL that I do have in my life that is good no matter how small.
Hugs and pats on the backs passed around to all of us.
Love Cricket
Passed the sweet email on to family and friends explaining the encouragement of Cuz. Thank you, Cuz. You are a joy and a blessing all year long.
I finished the tree. Vacuumed and got the boxes stacked for hubby to put back in garage. I feel better. Haha. Visited Mother yesterday and took her a treat of Hagen-Daaz Rum Raisin in those tiny cartons. She oohed and hummed while I fed her. Then we shared a pear. Today it's going to be sunny and 61, which is not that warm, for CA, but at least it's not windy or raining, so will take Mother for a walk this morning. Really working on staying positive and upbeat. For me, that means praying and saying affirmations, drinking lots of water, doing healthy and productive activities Before I do Other things. It's not easy.
Having my 1/2 cup Special K with Red Berries, then going for a walk. Fed wild birds this morning. I love to see them happy and flitting about and making a big mess in my yard. Yay!! Tweet Tweet!! Hey, Chirpy!! Oops. Fighting over a sunflower seed. Aren't they silly?! Love you all. Have a good one and BBL.
Hugs, Christina xo
Whew, I hear you who have half-hearted Christmas spirit going on. I did not put up a tree and doubt I will. I did the cyber shopping thing and successfully got everything here on time, even wrapped everything because we have to deliver Chirstmas this weekend. Long story...I'll spare you.
I do have some good news, though. I got my sclera lens on Tuesday. I can only wear it a few hours a day for now but it is making a huge difference. This lens will be replaced in a few weeks with one the doc thinks will be even better. Yeah and thank God! (Driving is still months away, but this is a step in the right direction.)
I admit I haven't read all the posts I've missed over the past few weeks but I did see the "Memory Lane" theme. Wow, talk about some wild memories! I was born in Philadelphia and remember scavaging soda bottles to get penny candy, treasuring my skate key, and mastering my French twist hair style for special occasions.
Despite my lack of participation lately, I've been thinking of you: Cricket, Diane, Christina, Joan, Cuz, Kathy, Joanne, Ro, Peg, Linda, Stormy, Melissa, Lisa, Igloo, Et Al. You have no idea how important you have become to me and my sanity.
These next few weeks are going to be a b...h. I am in tough love mode as far as Mom is concerned and she is fighting back like a wild cat. I don't have too much resistance from the sibs, but they don't seem to have the tenacity to get things done.
Reality is, I am fed up, depressed and wishing I could just disconnect the phone and walk away. I can't and I won't. I feel defeated one minute and talking to myself to get moving the next. (split personality?) Mom has AFib and dementia. She's driving me to insanity! (short trip at this point!)
I'm hoping to catch some Christmas spirit for my husband's sake. He's such a sweetheart and so supportive. He deserves so much more than I'm able to give him right now. I'm hoping that seeing our three grand daughters this weekend will help me rekindle some happy feelings.
We have a Christmas party tonight at the college and I have to get packed because we're leaving for NY in the morning. I do hope you all have a great weekend and find some peaceful moments.
Hugs and prayers for all! Bee
A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend.
After having great sex ... She spent the next
hour just rubbing his testicles ...
Something she just loved to do.
As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her,
"Why do you love doing that?"
Because ... She Replied .....
"I Really Miss Mine"
I told you it was a California Love Story
A Catholic nun was sitting on a train opposite a Muslim man wearing a turban, who was eating fresh shrimp.
Every time he ate one, he spat the tail in her direction, requiring her to deflect it.
Eventually, she had enough, and pulled the Emergency Cord.
The Muslim looked at her and said, "You'll get fined $250 for doing that, you stupid Catholic bitch."
She laughed and said, "When I cry out rape and they smell your fingers, you'll get 10 years, you towel headed Camel-f--ker."
Carolyn, I'm glad mom wasn't severly hurt or anyone else. Sometimes it takes something big to get them to accept their own limitations. Thanks for the e-card too. It was very sweet. I have a few poinsettias out and a bare Christmas tree still. I just can't seem to get the Christmas spirit with all this family crap going on.
I'm heading to the doctor tomorrow because I think I may have found a cause for why my IBS is constantly flaring up....No, not stress, but rather the antidepressant Cymbalta. One of its side effects is stomach pain. Hopefully the doc will change me meds and find something easier on the stomach and more effective on for my depression.
Nothing new otherwise. I hope everyone can get some rest tonight and face tomorrow with renewed energy.
Love ya,
Diane
i just woke up , took a nap i guess my mind is still sleeping ,
gloomey weather today , sure does brings ya down some .
msm- cleveland , mmm its the next state over from me . i sure hope it all works out for the better and praying that ur hubby gets the job .
christina - ure a sweetheart inside and outside . i dont think u have a mean bug in ya .
ill be back later , have crap to do . xoxo
glad u came and let us know whats going on here . big hugs to u dear and i hope that everyday wil be a better day for you .
I'm still a bit depressed but life goes on and there are few dull moments for caregivers!
We've been waiting for some "tragedy" to bring Mom to the point where we could make some changes in her life style. (Living alone refusing to cooperate with our efforts to get her the help she so desperately needs.)
Well, she wrapped her car around a pole Monday. Thank God she didn't get hurt badly and didn't kill or hurt anyone else. She spent one night in the hospital for observation and is refusing everything we're trying to do. But...no more car so she's at our mercy to help her figure out how to handle her life.
Got to run,,,,more later. Miss all of you! ((( huge ))) Bee
I don't know if you noticed that my name rhymes with "piss n' vinegar"?
I am blessed to have such a wonderful husband and children, and very happy memories of holidays with them and others dear to me - but this year won't be that. husband and I will watch a pay per view movie - we're thinking Cowboys and Aliens will be fun (we always took the kids to the movies on Christmas Day) and perhaps make a couple of cornish hens and some dressing. (I made him a cornish hen the first time he came to my home for dinner so that is kind of a tradition too)
Someone actually emailed husband re a job we'd applied to this morning - just wanted his resume so we're not exaxctly jumping up and down - it is a job he is imminently qualified for and in Cleveland. Not my 1st choice for a place to live but at least there I would not have to routinely spell my last name . . .overall, people are not as bright as they used to be. Now that would be wonderful Christmas gift wouldn't it? A job. That - other than of course world peace and good health - is all we want for Christmas - because if we don't have one by the end of the month, things are going to get real ugly real fast. Anyone here thats linked-in to Santa we'd really appreciate an introduction.
Oh wah wah wah. Sorry. Its just that not een my husband is fully cognizant of how bad things are (as i keep the books) and I have to vent to somebody!
Love you guys.
Not too much going on here, but, wanted to say, I feel your angst, Deefer. My Mother is also pretty much gone. She somehow responds when I ask her a simple question, or tell her I love her. I have no animosity left for her, which is a very good thing, and a very long time coming. She is not walking and spends most mornings sleeping. I hope she is not aware of her situation.
Talk about gifts. I took a gift and a card for my sister and her husband when they visited Mother last Sunday, but I think it was not the right thing, now that I think about it. It seems to be an "in your face" gesture, and that does not get me any closer to forgiving her and moving on. So, after discovering she did not take it, I removed it on Monday, and will forget about it. I can't say, "Get out of my house and don't contact me", and then give her a Christmas gift. Duh. I will send my brother a couple of things, because he is innocuous and uncomplicated. He sends a Christmas card and a birthday card to me every year. He does what he can. I will have to send him money if he comes down to see Mother, and pick him up from train, and do everything for him. I do not want to deal with that until our life is running better.
Making things: I have made cookies. I will make more cookies. I may even finish decorating my tree. Think I have convinced hubby that this is final year for the monstrous tree. My favorite is a 6 ft Noble fir, something that smells like Christmas in a waft as you walk by. I have huge boxes of decorations that I keep very organized and each box marked, 'angels and birds for top of tree', Breakables, garlands and wreath, etc. I was hoping my son would have a household by now and I could dole them out, and I already bought Morgan a bunch this year for her new abode. They are not as interested in them as I am, however. I am beginning to think there is no one like me in the family, and perhaps the stork did, in fact, drop me down the wrong chimney once upon a time. Maybe I am a throw back, and they should have.
I bought lots of semi-precious stones to make bracelets, but haven't sat down long enough, besides here, to make them. I enjoy wearing them myself, and like to combine crystals with other stones on the stretchy monofilament. Maybe after first of year, and I will make birthday presents for everyone here. Cricket is first. Everyone needs to email me their birthdays, since I am not on FB, and shall not go there. No matter what anyone says. Just one of my quirks. One of 2. haha
Sending prayers of healing to all who need special comfort, special dog and goat hugs and sweet reprimands--this is why "One Cat" is my motto.
Missing lots of our friends who will remain in my heart forever. {{{{{Friends}}}}}
So thankful for you all, here, there, and Everywhere. Hugs, Christina xo
E-mailed my sister this morning and told her we are staying home for X-mas this year, but I will be making the 20 minute drive to drop Mom off to have dinner with all her off spring that she hasn't seen in months! Merry said she will come and help me get her dressed and ready and will gladly come with me for the "drive- by" drop off of Mom.After all, I spent every holiday with her this year, so I think they can handle one day with her. I'm sure my ears will be ringing all day long. We'll see what actually transpires. Knowing my sibs they will come up with an excuse to cancel the family X-mas dinner just so I can keep Mom here.
By the way, no one called or showed up on Thanksgiving. What a surprise that was!!!
Been bogged down with an injured cat and many vet trips to drain a hematoma on his ear. Got through the 2 craft shows and made a few bucks. Now I am finishing homemade gifts for everyone. As usual I have put too much pressure on myself and am lacking in any free time for myself. I'm determined to have a gift for everyone, even though I have no $$ and my family doesn't deserve anything. They all have jobs, homes and much $$, but I'm sure they are all going to say that they cut back on gifts this year. That equals more $$ to spend on themselves. There won't be anything under our tree for us, but that's okay.
My tree is up and decorated, but the house is still a disorganized mess and will most likely remain so through the holiday. That's okay, because I don't expect any visitors!
My sil is having X-mas this Sunday, so I have to get gifts finished and make stuffed shells and lazy pierogi as my contribution to the potluck dinner.
My husband continues to be added stress for me, but my comments seem to be sinking in finally. He is actually doing things without my asking, but is still the laziest man on earth!!!
I rarely look at the computer right now, so forgive me for falling behind on everyone's news.I keep thinking if I just get past the holidays, things will settle down and I can join you once again.
Mom's dementia is progressing and she is all but gone most days. Hoping I can still keep dragging her to daycare through the winter. It's getting harder and harder to get her ready and into the car. Just getting her washed and dressed in the morning is exhausting. Rossella, I imagine us going through the same things every day, and hope that we still have enough of ourselves left to enjoy our last years on earth.
Bobbie!!!! Hope you had a nice visit!!
Things to do, places to go and people to see!!! Miss you all!
I have smiled a lot reading about the good memories. (Please lets not post the bad ones for they were plenty as well)
I have more.
Remember the at-home perms? OMG how ruined did that make our hair?
Remember when the whole family shared the same bar of soap - Ivory, Palmolive - and Lava for the really dirty hands?
How about getting a dose of castor oil?
Geritol?
Or the mercurochome - that stingey red stuff they put on boo-boos?
And aspirin was just about it for pain relief?
And the bubble gum that came with a comic inside?
And the little pots of cold creme?
And how we washed our faces with Noxema? ("Do it every day")
And how we had to steal our dad's razors to shave our legs?
And how we had to use a typewriter for term papers and how much fun it was to wind the ribbon and that wonderful typewriter smell? I can smell it now . . .
cricket - i was raised in a small town with alot of teenagers . mercy sakes we were wild then , wild but good . shhh dont tell mom and dad , hahahaha there be a small town sherrif there but he s always sittin in his driveway lol ,. he knew we all like to party down and we still be our best behavior , there was never any fights , we all were happy as ever . :-)
the old poolhall , ping pong balls machines , 25 cent to play , pool to play , juke box to jammmin a ling . whole town would play bog segar , down on main street , gawd we be jammin , some would stand on the pool table and dance to the song of all she wants to do is dance , !!! man those were the days . waaaaa i miss those days waaaaaaaa .
no worries no bills . just go uptown and somebodys got something and we all be standing around smiling . enjoying life .
when i turned 17 it all changed , now im a granny pooie . hahaha
anyway woke up to see hubby leave , at 4 am . shit sheba peed in the mud room , ahh went ck on dad , his bed sheets and tshirt were soaked , took care of him and got him comfty then went to clean up all that piss soaked right thru cemebt floor , grr grrr , now my mudroom smells like STINK , i cleaned it up with very soap i had , scrub scrub like a cinderella ,
i just want to go back to 70 ;s .
alrighty i best get back to cleanin .
hubby s last day of work is today , vacation till next year woo woo hooot . xoxo